The Doctor Takes A Wife 1940 with Ray Milland and Loretta Young

Max Havelaar

June Cameron is the celebrated writer of a feminist book while medical instructor Doctor Timothy Sterling is a slightly misogynist cynic. After she badgers him into giving her a lift from the isolated Connecticut hotel in which they are both staying, a misunderstanding leads to the newspapers declaring that she has turned her back on her beliefs and married him. Both naturally want to deny it, but her publisher and fiancé convinces her that her former angle is now ruined and that she must now write a pro-marriage book. After a certain period she can then go to Reno and get a divorce. Timothy wants nothing to do with this scheme until he learns he has been made a professor by his college, based solely on the fact that he is now a married man rather than a bachelor.

Transcript

00:00:00The End

00:01:00Buy it. I'm telling you, after you read it, you won't even look at Harry.

00:01:11She's a bachelor girl, too. And they say this book answers everything.

00:01:17Is this the book that shows you how to put men in their place?

00:01:19Yes, ma'am.

00:01:20Look at that, Harrison. Every female from six to 60 will make this a bestseller.

00:01:25And you're worrying about a measly printing bill.

00:01:27Oh, take a straight wire. Miss June Cameron, Lakewood Lodge, Lakewood, Mass.

00:01:33Dear June, I hate to cut short your vacation, but imperative that you return at once.

00:01:38Have a great idea for a sequel. Please wire time of arrival.

00:01:45Morning.

00:01:47Somebody take my bags, please.

00:01:49I'm in an awful hurry. Would you mind?

00:01:50Well, I guess I'll have to take them. Where's your car?

00:01:56I can't... I'm not driving, you know.

00:01:58Oh, but you should have. How are you going to get to the depot?

00:02:01Well, the same way I got here. You've still got that station wagon, haven't you?

00:02:05Oh, yes, yes.

00:02:06Well?

00:02:07Well, it's up in town getting supplies, you know. We can't afford to stock in the way the big places do.

00:02:12Oh, no, naturally not. Nevertheless, I've still got to get to the station.

00:02:17And don't tell me you can't afford a station around here, because I've got to get to New York.

00:02:21Sure.

00:02:23If you left five minutes ago, you could have made it.

00:02:25If you're going to tell me there's not another train out of here, I'll...

00:02:27Train in the morning? We used to have two trains a day.

00:02:31Since they stopped making shoes up north...

00:02:33I don't care what they've stopped making up north.

00:02:36I've got to get to New York, and that's all there is to it.

00:02:38I beg your pardon, but would you mind lowering your voice? I'm phoning.

00:02:41I beg your pardon.

00:02:43What was that, Dad?

00:02:43Of all the inefficient, ill-organized places I've ever seen to my...

00:02:46Please, please, this is a long-distance call.

00:02:48Well, then why don't you phone from a booth? This is hardly the place.

00:02:50I won't phone from a booth if there were a booth.

00:02:51This happens to be the only phone in the place, and it's costing me money.

00:02:54All right, all right. I'm sorry. Yes, I...

00:02:56What did you say, Dad?

00:02:57I said a radiogram just arrived from that friend of yours, Miss Marilyn Thomas.

00:03:02Her boat gets in at noon tomorrow, and she sends you her love.

00:03:05You know, if you can't take people to the station, then why don't you build your hotel on the tracks?

00:03:09Will you please be quiet?

00:03:10If you were a gentleman, you'd wait until I got through.

00:03:13No bellboys, no service, no hot water, no cold water, no transportation.

00:03:16Will you please stop this childish conversation? I can't hear a word.

00:03:18You have no right to monopolize the entire lobby.

00:03:20Yes, I can do that.

00:03:22Oh!

00:03:22Oh, I beg your pardon. Are you hurt?

00:03:25What are you trying to do?

00:03:26Just trying to get to New York, that's all.

00:03:28Well, I wish you luck.

00:03:29Thank you very much.

00:03:30I, um, I'm awfully sorry I shouted at you like that.

00:03:51Oh, I didn't mind, but really, you shouldn't get so excited. It's bad for your nerve centers.

00:03:55Which way are you going?

00:03:59New York.

00:04:00Oh, that's very nice of you. Thank you very much.

00:04:02Hey, but look here, I, I...

00:04:03No, don't too bother at all. I'll take care of my bag.

00:04:05Oh, would you put these in the car, please?

00:04:07Oh, so you got a ride after all.

00:04:09Yes, this kind gentleman's going to give me one.

00:04:11What's he got in here, anyway?

00:04:14Hotel clerks.

00:04:16Oh, get off.

00:04:17What's the best road to Lakewood?

00:04:18Highway 44.

00:04:20If it was open, of course, there's Route 32.

00:04:23But the mud's awful annoying.

00:04:24After you, that'll be a pleasure, my good man.

00:04:27Good day.

00:04:28Have you got a cigarette?

00:04:40No.

00:04:41Well, oh, I think I've got some in my coat.

00:04:44All right, here...

00:04:44Trunk murderer?

00:04:51No!

00:04:53You know, he's a spitting image of my Uncle Chester.

00:04:56Oh, you're fond of him, aren't you?

00:04:59Cost $250.

00:05:01Oh, I'm sorry.

00:05:02Mind turning that box up?

00:05:04No, not at all. There you are.

00:05:06You two always travel together?

00:05:08I use him in my work.

00:05:10Oh.

00:05:10I don't mean to pry into your private life or anything like that, but just what is Chester to you?

00:05:30Well, I teach neuropsychiatry, and I'm doing some research on migraine headaches.

00:05:35Oh?

00:05:35The head opens up.

00:05:39Just what is your theory on migraines, in case I get a headache?

00:05:42Blood vessels in the head dilate excessively due to excitement and overwork, causing a pressure on the nerve centers.

00:05:47Oh.

00:05:48Yes, we travel at much too fast a pace, especially women, because they are not equipped to take an equal place in a man's world.

00:05:57Just what makes you think it's a man's world?

00:05:59Well, it's an accepted fact that the male is a superior animal.

00:06:02Now, in spite of what you and little Chester here may think, the modern woman can match you men fiber for fiber and have a rib left over.

00:06:10I think you read that somewhere.

00:06:11I did.

00:06:12In the most wonderful book called Spinsters Aren't Spinach.

00:06:16Oh, yes.

00:06:17Yes.

00:06:18That chambermaid at the hotel had a copy.

00:06:19Oh, did she?

00:06:20Another one with no forehead?

00:06:22Well, you shouldn't read trash like that.

00:06:25I didn't read it.

00:06:26Well, it's just as well.

00:06:27I wrote it.

00:06:29Oh, I'm sorry.

00:06:31That's all right.

00:06:32That's quite all right.

00:06:34I didn't expect you or any other man to enjoy it.

00:06:37You know, marriage is no longer the answer to a maiden's prayer.

00:06:41Oh, slaving over a hot stove all day is all right for some of the more backward members of our sex.

00:06:46But there's a new kind of woman coming into the fore.

00:06:49The kind that refuses to subordinate her personality to that of the egotistical, domineering male.

00:06:56Seems to me the Amazon's tried it.

00:07:02I forgot to send that wire.

00:07:04Would you please stop at the telegraph office?

00:07:05Miss, I'd like to send this wire, please.

00:07:18Hey, kid!

00:07:38Do you want to make a quarter?

00:07:39Sure.

00:07:40Well, you take this and put it on the back of that car.

00:07:42Which one?

00:07:43Oh, that one down there.

00:07:46Best regards, June Cameron.

00:07:48That'll be 62 cents and 3 cents tax, please.

00:07:50Very well.

00:07:52June Cameron?

00:07:55June Cameron?

00:07:56Yes.

00:07:56Oh, just a minute.

00:08:03Oh, I've read it three times.

00:08:07I think it's simply wonderful.

00:08:08Oh, I'll be glad you liked it.

00:08:10Would you autograph it for me, please?

00:08:11Yes, we'd like it.

00:08:12Oh.

00:08:14Here they come!

00:08:15Here they come!

00:08:16Hey, take it easy!

00:08:18Oh!

00:08:18Oh, Miss Cameron, you've no idea what this book has done for me.

00:08:24It's changed me into a career woman.

00:08:25Well, I'm very glad.

00:08:26I used to feel awful when men didn't insult me.

00:08:29But now I don't care anymore.

00:08:30That's very nice.

00:08:32Goodbye.

00:08:32Goodbye, Miss Cameron.

00:08:34Bye.

00:08:35Bye.

00:08:40What a traitor!

00:08:45And of course you men resent the intelligent woman.

00:08:47You're used to the clinging vine who inflates your ego 24 hours a day.

00:08:50Good evening, Miss Cameron.

00:08:52Oh, good evening, George.

00:08:53Would you take my bags, please?

00:08:54By telling you what a wonderful man you are.

00:08:57Oh, no.

00:08:58They don't marry you for love.

00:09:01They marry you for security.

00:09:04The independent but frustrated female.

00:09:06I wish you'd drop into my class sometime.

00:09:08I'd like my students to see you.

00:09:17Miss Cameron!

00:09:36Miss Cameron!

00:09:38Miss Cameron!

00:09:39Miss Cameron!

00:09:41Well, wait a minute. Where do you think you're going?

00:09:48Where's my head?

00:09:49Now, how do I know? I left it on the seat in the house.

00:09:51You did not. You've got it.

00:09:52I have not got it. Then will you please get out of here?

00:09:55Not until I get my head.

00:09:56But I haven't got it. I told you.

00:09:58Will that be all, Miss Cameron?

00:09:59Yes, George. Yes, that'll be all. Thank you very much.

00:10:01Hey, that's my hat box. Give it to me. Give it to me. You're no gentleman.

00:10:06I'm awfully sorry. It looked just like my hat box.

00:10:15Look what you've done. You've broken the nose.

00:10:17Why, you pulled her right out of my head.

00:10:19Oh, yes. I forgot. The career woman is never to blame.

00:10:21I'd rather not discuss it anymore if you don't mind.

00:10:24And will you please leave?

00:10:30You know, you're really a specimen for a clinic.

00:10:32I am.

00:10:33Of all the ungrateful females,

00:10:35You'll force your way into my car.

00:10:37I drive you 400 miles.

00:10:38Buy the gas and oil.

00:10:39Buy you a hamburger.

00:10:40You'll ruin a $250 head.

00:10:42Well, you're not going to need that part.

00:10:43Chester won't get a headache in his nose.

00:10:58All right.

00:10:59If that's the attitude you're going to take, you can pay for it.

00:11:01Trip cost me exactly $9.80.

00:11:03You can pay half, which is $4.90.

00:11:06Why don't you run along and correct some papers or something?

00:11:09I'm very busy.

00:11:10Ordinarily, I'm a very calm and peaceful individual.

00:11:13That's because I've got thin ear lobes and rather thick eyebrows.

00:11:17But you see these?

00:11:18They're thumbs, short thumbs, which means I'm stubborn.

00:11:21I'm not going to get out of here until I get $4.90.

00:11:28Fortunately, my thumbs show no evidence of pygmy ancestors.

00:11:33However, I too can have my obstinate moments.

00:11:36This is one of them.

00:11:38Well, we might just as well make ourselves comfortable.

00:11:42We might just as well.

00:11:45Do you know that my first generous impulse was to give you a miserable $4.90.

00:11:49But since you've adopted this typical high-handed, Prussian attitude of the male,

00:11:54you can just sit on those sawed-off digits until a certain place freezes over.

00:12:19I call it 75 cents.

00:12:27Which makes $4.15 you order.

00:12:49Silver?

00:12:55Nope.

00:12:57Well, I'm sorry.

00:12:58I'd like to give you more, but I'm afraid the best I can do is a dollar.

00:13:03Which leaves $3.15.

00:13:16Well, 10 years old.

00:13:19That's more than I can say for you.

00:13:24This might take care of the balance.

00:13:27Let's be generous.

00:13:28Call it 40 cents a drink.

00:13:37I'm wrong.

00:13:3920 cents.

00:13:44Mr. Pierce, this is the morning express.

00:13:46We just received word that June Cameron got herself married.

00:13:49How about the details?

00:13:51Married?

00:13:53Why, my dear fellow, I'm afraid after midnight I lose my sense of humor.

00:13:57If June Cameron married anybody, I'd be the first to know about it because it would probably be me.

00:14:02I can't blame you for trying to keep it quiet.

00:14:06I know that wedding bells means curtains for that bestseller of hers.

00:14:09I extend my condolences.

00:14:12But the other papers will have it in a couple of hours and I mean to beat them to it.

00:14:14But this is ridiculous, old man.

00:14:16Well, I tell you, only a short while ago I received a wire from her and she never mentioned a word about it.

00:14:21Hold on a moment.

00:14:22Here, here it is. I've got it in my hand right now.

00:14:38Mabel, get June Cameron's address and send Maxon a photographer over right away.

00:14:43Leaving a balance of, um, 60 cents.

00:14:47Would you like to take the rest out in aspirin?

00:14:51Don't interrupt.

00:14:53Marilyn never interrupts.

00:14:58Wonderful girl, Marilyn.

00:15:01Not like you at all.

00:15:05I'm gonna marry Marilyn as soon as I become a professor and what's more, she's gonna marry me.

00:15:12Name's Marilyn.

00:15:14And I wouldn't trade her little finger for your...

00:15:20Well, I just wouldn't, that's all.

00:15:25Marry you tomorrow.

00:15:28This very day.

00:15:31If I was a professor.

00:15:35But I'm not.

00:15:36I'm just a measly hundred dollar a month in instructing.

00:15:42And that's too much to ask anybody to marry you.

00:15:45It's too much to ask.

00:15:47Quite right, Hamlet. This is too much to ask.

00:15:50Now that the bill is paid, will you leave?

00:15:53Very well.

00:15:55If that's the way you feel about it, very well.

00:15:57I have never overstated my company and wasn't welcome.

00:16:02Now that's a very good boy.

00:16:04Good night.

00:16:05Good night.

00:16:07Good night.

00:16:09Good night.

00:16:11Hey, wait a minute.

00:16:13Hey!

00:16:14Oh, no you don't.

00:16:15Get off of that bed.

00:16:16Get up and get out of here or I'll have your throne now.

00:16:18This is the car.

00:16:25MD, she married a doctor.

00:16:28MD one five.

00:16:30Two seven.

00:16:32What a story.

00:16:34Well, boys, I'm glad I got here.

00:16:35I'm Miss Cameron's publisher.

00:16:36Why, the whole thing's laughable.

00:16:38Why don't you save that for the disappointed females?

00:16:40But really, listen, the whole thing's silly.

00:16:42Well, if June Cameron's married, then I'm the king of Turkestan.

00:16:45Make way for his majesty.

00:16:51Congratulations.

00:16:52Where'd you meet him?

00:16:53Hold it, ladies.

00:16:54Don't say a word.

00:16:55Just deny it.

00:16:56Deny what?

00:16:57Now when on the couch.

00:16:58Now, just a minute.

00:16:59What's this all about?

00:17:00What made you exchange the torch for the carpet sweeper?

00:17:01Cross your legs, please.

00:17:02Yes.

00:17:03Say, wouldn't you rather I had on my bathing suit?

00:17:05What made you desert the ship and jump into the sea of matrimony?

00:17:08Matrimony?

00:17:10Now, wait a minute.

00:17:11Don't tell me what this is all about.

00:17:12Just let me guess.

00:17:13I know.

00:17:14A college initiation, huh?

00:17:15Now, look, lady.

00:17:16We're all losing a lot of sleep.

00:17:17When, where, how, why, and who did you marry?

00:17:19Say, that's a very funny gag.

00:17:22What is it?

00:17:23You see?

00:17:26How could she be married?

00:17:27She doesn't know a thing about it.

00:17:33Stop that!

00:17:34Oh, rice.

00:17:35What's your husband's name?

00:17:37I haven't any husband.

00:17:38Suppose that guy in there runs a Chinese restaurant.

00:17:42Johnny, throw these vultures out of here.

00:17:45Oh, it's no use, June.

00:17:46You might as well give them a statement.

00:17:47I will give them exactly ten seconds to get out of here.

00:17:51All right, lady.

00:17:52All right.

00:17:53I'll just have to use my imagination.

00:17:54Oh, wait a minute.

00:17:55Wait a minute.

00:17:56That man in there really isn't my husband.

00:17:57He's, he's a prowler.

00:17:58Lady, I don't care what your husband does for a living.

00:18:00Well, Johnny, do something.

00:18:01They're gonna print while I'm married.

00:18:02You don't have to pretend with me.

00:18:03Why didn't you confide in me?

00:18:04Oh, stop it, will you?

00:18:05There's nothing to confide.

00:18:06Say, where did everybody get the idea that I was married?

00:18:08What about the big surprise in the wire from Greenwich?

00:18:10Oh, oh, that was about my imagination.

00:18:12Oh, my imagination.

00:18:13Oh, wait a minute.

00:18:14Wait a minute.

00:18:15That man in there really isn't my husband.

00:18:16He's, he's a prowler.

00:18:17Lady, I don't care what your husband does for a living.

00:18:18Well, Johnny, do something.

00:18:19They're gonna print while I'm married.

00:18:20You don't have to pretend with me.

00:18:21Why didn't you confide in me?

00:18:22Oh, stop it, will you?

00:18:23There's nothing to confide.

00:18:24Say, where did everybody get the idea that I was married?

00:18:28What about the big surprise in the wire from Greenwich?

00:18:31Oh, oh, that was about, uh, about my sequel.

00:18:34And the surprise was that I had the first three chapters all finished.

00:18:37Mm-hmm.

00:18:38And the just married sign.

00:18:39And the partially dressed man in your bedroom dripping with rice.

00:18:42Oh, Johnny.

00:18:44But it's all so simply explained.

00:18:46Yeah, when you come to the man in the bedroom, it better be good.

00:19:01Well, you are a man's old man.

00:19:11Hello?

00:19:12Well, listen, old man.

00:19:13Miss Cameron's just explained everything to me.

00:19:15Of course, I don't blame your reporters for jumping to conclusions.

00:19:18On the surface, it all spelt matrimony.

00:19:20But, um, well, take a colleague's word for it and forget the whole thing.

00:19:24Oh, they're not married.

00:19:27Then we'll have to print that the gentleman in her bedroom was not her husband.

00:19:31Yeah, they're married.

00:19:33Give me that phone.

00:19:34Well, it was either that or else headlines screaming that strange men are running in and out of your bedroom.

00:19:45It's all the fault of that migraine headache in there.

00:19:53Wake up.

00:19:54Wake up and get out of here.

00:19:56Oh, you're responsible for all this, you and your short thumbs and your $4.90.

00:20:01Johnny, maybe if he went down to the editor's office and explained to him...

00:20:06Well, that's locking the well-known barn.

00:20:07The papers will be out in 15 minutes.

00:20:09Well, we've got to do something.

00:20:10This will ruin my career.

00:20:12Yeah, and you can add my business to that.

00:20:14Spinsters Aunt Spinach is going to pay for my printing bill.

00:20:17Now all we can sell the copies for are doorstops.

00:20:20You don't seem to realize the enormity of the disaster.

00:20:23Oh, Johnny.

00:20:24Once my creditors get through, I'll have to sublet my water cooler.

00:20:27Or will I?

00:20:30Hmm?

00:20:31It might be filled with champagne.

00:20:33What do you mean?

00:20:34How many spinsters are there in America?

00:20:36There are exactly 8,423,000 who are not going to buy my book.

00:20:41And how many married women are there?

00:20:43Exactly over 25 million.

00:20:44You are going to write that second book.

00:20:46A book about marriage.

00:20:47We'll call it...

00:20:48We'll call it, um...

00:20:49Marriage Ain't Measles.

00:20:51Sorry.

00:20:52Are you sure you're feeling all right?

00:20:55Perfectly.

00:20:56This is it.

00:20:57This is our horn of plenty.

00:20:58What you did for the spinster, you can do for the housewife.

00:21:00It's a bigger subject, a bigger market.

00:21:02Do you get the angle?

00:21:03You're converted.

00:21:04America's number one bachelor girl tastes the fruits of marriage and loves it.

00:21:10Well, even if I did want to write the book, and I don't mind you...

00:21:15Johnny, I don't know anything about marriage.

00:21:17Oh, what's that got to do with it?

00:21:19Danty didn't have to go to hell to write his inferno.

00:21:22Wait a minute.

00:21:24You mean you want me to stay married to this...

00:21:26This thing?

00:21:27Only till you finish the book, then Reno, and you can fake a divorce.

00:21:30Ah, you must be pretty deeply attached to me to cook up such an idyllic arrangement with this medical pot roast here.

00:21:36No thanks, Johnny, not for me.

00:21:38Oh, listen, June, I didn't mean it that way.

00:21:43Now, my dear, don't think for one fleeting second that my affections for you have altered because they haven't.

00:21:48You know how I feel about you.

00:21:52Well, you have a strange way of showing it.

00:21:54Throwing me into the clutches of Dr. Jekyll in there.

00:21:57It'll only be a business arrangement.

00:21:59When you come back from Reno, I shall be waiting...

00:22:01I know.

00:22:02With an idea for a book called Divorces of Dynamite.

00:22:05No, Johnny, I wouldn't spend one more minute with that man if the sequel went into more editions than the telephone book.

00:22:11Well, it was fun while it lasted.

00:22:14It's nobody's fault.

00:22:15And don't you worry about me.

00:22:17I've been stuck with larger printing bills than $7,000.

00:22:21Oh, you've worked so hard to get where you are.

00:22:23I hate to be the one to...

00:22:24No, no, no, none of that.

00:22:26In this world, you've got to think of number one.

00:22:28Yourself.

00:22:29If you want to get anywhere, you've got to be selfish.

00:22:32I'm worried about you, Johnny.

00:22:33Sweet.

00:22:34Well, I must be getting along knowing that printer.

00:22:36I'll need a head start.

00:22:38Good night, my dear.

00:22:42Good night.

00:22:46Johnny.

00:22:47Johnny, do you actually think if I wrote a book about marriage it would sell?

00:22:52I knew you'd come through.

00:22:53Of course it would sell.

00:22:54Women would love someone to tell them why they got married.

00:22:56Would they?

00:22:57Sure.

00:22:58Glorify the American home.

00:22:59Sing hosannas for the fireside and security.

00:23:02Yeah, yeah, that's it.

00:23:03Show them how to keep romance alive and teach every wife how to be a sweetheart as well.

00:23:07Yeah.

00:23:10What about the other half of this deception?

00:23:12Junior will never go for it.

00:23:13Oh, I'll take care of him.

00:23:15We'll cut him in on the profits.

00:23:17You don't know Junior.

00:23:18He's got short thumbs.

00:23:20Well, there's no use in talking to him now.

00:23:22We'll let him sleep it off and I'll be back first thing in the morning.

00:23:24Morning?

00:23:25Well, we can't take him out now.

00:23:26There might be reporters outside.

00:23:27They think it was a gin marriage.

00:23:29Well, everything's settled.

00:23:32See you in the morning, sweetheart.

00:23:33Wait a minute.

00:23:34Where am I supposed to sleep?

00:23:35As if I didn't know.

00:23:39As if I didn't know.

00:23:40As if I didn't know.

00:23:46Oh, good morning, darling.

00:23:47Darling, flowers.

00:23:48Oh, good morning, darling.

00:24:01Oh, that's very sweet.

00:24:03And how does America's favorite authoress feel this morning?

00:24:04I feel just like I slept in a cement mixer all night, thank you.

00:24:08Well, my plan looks even better in daylight.

00:24:09It does, huh?

00:24:10Harrison, that's the printer, is willing to play ball.

00:24:11Oh, that's very good.

00:24:12However, I think he's going to have a hard time getting Junior in there to join the team.

00:24:13And how does he feel this morning?

00:24:14I wouldn't know.

00:24:15Come along and we'll wake up the sleeping beauty together.

00:24:16Oh, good morning, darling.

00:24:17Oh, good morning, darling.

00:24:18Darling, flowers.

00:24:19Oh, that's very sweet.

00:24:21And how does America's favorite authoress feel this morning?

00:24:22I feel just like I slept in a cement mixer all night, thank you.

00:24:25Well, my plan looks even better in daylight.

00:24:27It does, huh?

00:24:28Harrison, that's the printer, is willing to play ball.

00:24:31Oh, that's very good.

00:24:33However, I think he's going to have a hard time getting Junior in there to join the team.

00:24:37And how does he feel this morning?

00:24:38I wouldn't know.

00:24:39Come along and we'll wake up the sleeping beauty together.

00:24:46Well, there he is, the human question mark.

00:24:48And he's all yours.

00:24:50Wake up, old man.

00:24:51Wake up.

00:24:55I bet you feel badly, don't you?

00:24:59Awful.

00:25:02Terrible.

00:25:04What are you doing in my room?

00:25:06In your room?

00:25:10That's right, this isn't my room.

00:25:12Where am I?

00:25:13You're a very lucky man.

00:25:14You've made money while you've been asleep.

00:25:16That's it.

00:25:17Break it down gently.

00:25:25Dr. Timothy Stirling, welcome.

00:25:29Hey, this is me.

00:25:30That's right.

00:25:31But I couldn't be married to you.

00:25:32What...

00:25:33What did Marilyn say?

00:25:34This is a frame-up.

00:25:35Where are my pants?

00:25:36Don't look at me.

00:25:37I'm not wearing them.

00:25:38Don't get out of here.

00:25:39Now, just a minute, short thumbs.

00:25:41If you don't mind, I like to change my clothes at the beginning of each day.

00:25:44Well, I don't care what you do at the beginning of each day.

00:25:46I want my pants.

00:25:47Where are they?

00:25:48I don't know where your pants...

00:25:49Now, listen to you and I'll explain the whole thing to him.

00:25:51Good luck.

00:25:52Thanks.

00:25:53Listen, old man.

00:25:54That's right.

00:25:55You listen to me.

00:25:56What am I doing here?

00:25:57I should be at the university.

00:25:58I can explain the whole thing to...

00:25:59Who are you?

00:26:00Now, let me explain.

00:26:01The whole thing's as plain as the nose on your face.

00:26:02Leave my face out of this.

00:26:03Where are my pants?

00:26:04And then, you see, doctor, they put two and two together and said you were married.

00:26:07Now, make it worth your while to stay that way.

00:26:09No, where are my pants?

00:26:10I...

00:26:11You know, he's stubborn.

00:26:16That's an understatement.

00:26:17Where are my pants?

00:26:19Maybe I'd better give him 10% of the gross.

00:26:21While you're at it, throw in his pants.

00:26:26Now, listen, doctor.

00:26:27If you'll just do this tiny, simple little thing for me, I'll give you 10% of the gross.

00:26:32No!

00:26:33It's all a cheap publicity stunt for the trash that she writes.

00:26:36I'm going straight down to the papers and deny the whole thing.

00:26:38Thanks.

00:26:41Yes?

00:26:42Doctor and Mrs. Sterling.

00:26:43A wedding greeting from Professor and Mrs. Klaus Hauser.

00:26:44One, two, three.

00:26:45Here's success to the bride.

00:26:46Where are my pants?

00:26:47Isn't it pretty?

00:26:48Down!

00:26:49A doctor's study.

00:26:50I assure you, you're making a great mistake.

00:26:51Whenever I get my corner, I'll get out of here so fast if you're hit.

00:26:54It's hard.

00:26:55It's time for hopscotch.

00:26:56Do you think?

00:26:57Oh, George.

00:26:58The hairs of this world are far from your heart.

00:26:59Though trouble come, you'll ne'er be apart.

00:27:01Though here's a toast to you.

00:27:02Oh, George.

00:27:03For you and Dr. Sterling.

00:27:04For you and Dr. Sterling.

00:27:05For you and Dr. Sterling.

00:27:06Oh, will you just take them into the bedroom?

00:27:07Yes, sir.

00:27:08And here's to the groom.

00:27:09Congratulations, Dr. Sterling.

00:27:10Oh, you, too.

00:27:11Get out of my way.

00:27:12The hairs of the family hearts and things they go wrong.

00:27:17And here's to the groom.

00:27:22For the groom.

00:27:23Oh, please.

00:27:24Let's get your home.

00:27:25It's hard to make the time for hopscotch to think.

00:27:28Oh, you.

00:27:29It's hard to be tiny in the hot scotch.

00:27:31The hairs of this world are far from your heart.

00:27:33Though trouble come, you'll ne'er be apart.

00:27:34Oh, George.

00:27:35For you and Dr. Sterling.

00:27:36Oh, will you just take them into the bedroom?

00:27:37Yes.

00:27:38And here's to the pair of obedientless care, and there is heavenly union instead, cares of this world far from your heart, though troubles come you'll ne'er be apart.

00:27:54And here's to the groom, so stalwart and strong, defender of the family hearts when things may go wrong. Bring out the wedding, help me, to the life we will share. Here's success to the prize of the groom, lie her side, happy, adoring, and bursting with love, I'll let you in.

00:28:18The medical building, Dean Lockley, one moment please.

00:28:25Miss Thomas.

00:28:26Oh, congratulations, Doctor.

00:28:27Get the Morning Express and the Herald, get all the papers, I want to talk to each one of them.

00:28:35Tim.

00:28:36Oh, hello, Dad, look, I want to explain.

00:28:37Oh, son, you don't know how happy you've made me. For a time, you know, I was afraid it was going to be Marilyn.

00:28:42You were?

00:28:43Look, look at that, your mother's chin all over again.

00:28:45Dad, please listen to me.

00:28:46A fine, well-shaped head.

00:28:48But, Dad, you've got to listen to me. Cameron, good scotch blood.

00:28:51Dad, will you please listen to me and sit down. I've got to explain something and it's going to be a shock.

00:28:55I've got a little shock for you, my boy.

00:28:56Yes, I know, but...

00:28:57But it may be rather a pleasant one. Now, sit down, Tim, sit down.

00:28:59I just spoke to Dean Lawton.

00:29:01Congratulations.

00:29:03Professor Sterling.

00:29:04Yes, but that's beside the...

00:29:06Professor?

00:29:07But, but I thought Hampshire was going to get the post.

00:29:10Well, it was very close until this morning, but you know how the Dean feels about marriage.

00:29:13And as you're a married man in Hampshire isn't.

00:29:15Oh, but it couldn't be just because I'm married.

00:29:17Oh, the Dean's always had a theory that the chair of neuro-security should be held by a married man.

00:29:22A man who lives a natural, well-balanced life will have a much sounder approach to the study of the unbalanced.

00:29:28Professor Sterling.

00:29:31Too bad.

00:29:33What's the matter with you, son?

00:29:35Don't you want the professorship?

00:29:37Oh, yes, Dad, more than anything else in the world, but...

00:29:40But, Father, I've got to tell you the truth.

00:29:42Tim!

00:29:43Congratulations!

00:29:44We are mighty happy for you, Tim.

00:29:46Well, look, Father, there's something I've got to tell you.

00:29:49Oh, Dean Lawton.

00:29:53Congratulations, Professor Sterling.

00:29:58Oh, when can we see the bride?

00:30:00Oh, any time.

00:30:01We'll all drop up tonight.

00:30:03You know, for a moment I thought Junior was back.

00:30:16Well, what do you want now?

00:30:18You've ruined her career and you've ruined my business.

00:30:20Well, I didn't tell the papers.

00:30:22Oh.

00:30:23Oh, you're going on the radio.

00:30:24No, no, I thought it over and I realized what it meant to you both.

00:30:28I knew you'd come through.

00:30:30Why, I was generally just saying to Miss Cameron just now,

00:30:32I know a gentleman when I see one.

00:30:34Oh, that's very nice of you, Doctor.

00:30:36What suddenly made you change your mind?

00:30:38Now, don't get the idea that I like this.

00:30:40I'm merely doing it because I'm a gentleman and I hate to see you ruin your career.

00:30:43I hope you realize all the inconveniences you'll be letting yourself in for.

00:30:46The doctor knows what he's doing.

00:30:47Everything's all right.

00:30:48You've nothing to worry about.

00:30:49Why, the book will be finished.

00:30:51She'll be on her way to Reno to fake a divorce even before you know it.

00:30:53Of course.

00:30:54Oh, that's one thing I want to get straight.

00:30:55Now, when you go to Reno, you must take all the blame.

00:30:58You must make the separation look as if it's entirely your fault.

00:31:01Why?

00:31:02Well, my position at the university.

00:31:04Oh, of course, of course it'll look like her fault.

00:31:07Why, we're going to paint her so black that no self-respecting man will even look at her.

00:31:10I can see chivalry is not dead.

00:31:12Of course, he's not doing so well that it's not dead.

00:31:16Oh, and there's one thing more.

00:31:18Uh, now that we are married, I, uh, where are we?

00:31:22What do we, you know, uh...

00:31:24Oh, oh, oh, yes.

00:31:26I've taken a year's lease on this place.

00:31:28You mean we live under the same roof?

00:31:30Your own brother would be safe with me.

00:31:32But, uh...

00:31:34Oh, the boat!

00:31:36Marilyn, she's coming on the boat at noon.

00:31:38How can I explain this to her?

00:31:39Oh, it's perfectly simple.

00:31:40Well, then explain it to me.

00:31:41But if I don't tell her the truth, I'll lose her forever.

00:31:43Oh, but you can't do that.

00:31:44The secret must be between us three.

00:31:46You know what women are.

00:31:47She might get plastered one night and go blab it all over the town.

00:31:50If it once leaks out that you two aren't married,

00:31:52well, then we can just kiss goodbye to her career.

00:31:54But I've got to tell Marilyn something.

00:31:55Well, tell her for the next three months that she must trust you.

00:31:59Believe in you.

00:32:00Use blind faith.

00:32:01Supposing she's nearsighted.

00:32:05And, Doctor, if she won't see you through this,

00:32:07well, then she's not the woman you thought she was,

00:32:08and we've saved you from making a terrific mistake.

00:32:10Yes, but if she sees this before I can talk to her,

00:32:12I won't even get the chance to explain.

00:32:13That's right.

00:32:14She shouldn't see this.

00:32:16You know how to take care of women.

00:32:19Yes, but why know how to take care of Marilyn?

00:32:26Hey!

00:32:27She likes flowers.

00:32:31Well, maybe if I wrote fast enough,

00:32:33we could get the books out to the dealer before the boat ducks.

00:32:36Wait a minute.

00:32:37Perhaps I've lost touch with things,

00:32:38but aren't you supposed to look like a man with a $7,000 printing bill?

00:32:43I'm very unhappy.

00:32:45I'm a very miserable man.

00:32:51I don't get it.

00:32:54I hope he does not come.

00:32:55I hope he's taking out somebody's adenoids.

00:32:56Then I can take you home.

00:32:57Oh, he'll be here.

00:32:58I know, Tim.

00:32:59You can always depend on Tim.

00:33:00Thomas?

00:33:01Yes.

00:33:02Oh, thank you.

00:33:03Merci.

00:33:04And thank you so very much for making my trip so pleasant.

00:33:07Oh, look, flowers.

00:33:08That's another reason I just love my Tim.

00:33:11I know, Tim. You can always depend on Tim.

00:33:14Miss Thomas?

00:33:14Yes?

00:33:15Oh, thank you.

00:33:17Merci.

00:33:18And thank you so very much for making my trip so pleasant.

00:33:24Oh, look, flowers.

00:33:27That's another reason I just love my Tim.

00:33:30He's very studious looking.

00:33:32He's brilliant.

00:33:32And what's more important, he's reliable.

00:33:41Oh, hello, Johnny.

00:34:02Hello, darling.

00:34:03Any signs of our doctor friend?

00:34:05No.

00:34:06And, you know, I have a sneaky hunch, but our little headache is going to disappoint us.

00:34:10Oh, I wouldn't worry about him.

00:34:16Oh, I beg your pardon.

00:34:17Oh, my next door neighbor, Dr. Sterling, congratulations.

00:34:21Oh, yes.

00:34:22You won't regret it. I never did.

00:34:24I'll be married 16 years next Thursday.

00:34:26Uh, Friday. That's it.

00:34:28Oh, it's so nice to have married people next door.

00:34:31My wife's away just now, but when she gets back,

00:34:33we'll arrange to set aside one night a week

00:34:35where we can all have dinner together and then play bridge.

00:34:37All right, we'll do that.

00:34:37Oh, and if any time you need a cup of sugar,

00:34:41why, uh, remember, we're right here.

00:34:42All right.

00:34:43Bye.

00:34:44I'll see you later.

00:34:50He's back.

00:34:52Wouldn't give me a chance to explain.

00:34:54Did you hear that?

00:34:55She wouldn't give him a chance to explain.

00:34:57Well, don't take it so to heart.

00:34:59You'd make a lovely executioner.

00:35:01Now, what's the matter?

00:35:01Well, I opened my mouth to say something

00:35:04and I got the newspaper right in it.

00:35:05Oh, I'm sorry, doctor.

00:35:07I'm sorry that things didn't turn out all right.

00:35:08Well, she'll get over it after a while.

00:35:10Here, let me take it.

00:35:10Sure.

00:35:11Give her about three months.

00:35:13Well, nevertheless, I think it's darn sweet,

00:35:15in spite of all the trouble,

00:35:16that you're still going to go through with this.

00:35:18After all, you're not getting anything out of it.

00:35:20It doesn't seem quite fair.

00:35:22Well, gentleman's word is a gentleman's word.

00:35:25If you'll just show me to my room, I'll...

00:35:28Oh, now, don't you worry, doctor.

00:35:29We'll make you quite comfortable.

00:35:30I'll take that.

00:35:31We'll take your things and put them right in here.

00:35:34Johnny, the doctor can have the two top drawers in the dresser.

00:35:36Great, I'll need three.

00:35:41Make it three.

00:35:43Well, I'd better put all these things of yours in the bottom drawer.

00:35:46Yes.

00:35:47And where will I put these?

00:35:57Oh, I'll show you, old man.

00:35:58Come this way.

00:35:59We'll put them in the closet over here.

00:36:01How's this?

00:36:03A little crowded.

00:36:04Oh, we'll soon fix that.

00:36:05June, dear.

00:36:07Yes, Johnny.

00:36:11You don't need all this space, dear.

00:36:12Take these things out and put them somewhere else.

00:36:14Oh, there's always the icebox.

00:36:15Besides, it'll be good for the furs.

00:36:22Oh, do you think this is a good location for a branch library?

00:36:26Well, if you've no objection, I'd rather continue with my profession.

00:36:29I'm preparing my full course of study.

00:36:30Oh, I see, yes.

00:36:31Now, is this my bed?

00:36:33Well, you...

00:36:34Well, no, not exactly.

00:36:36But we have something wonderful for you in the other room.

00:36:39You'd really be surprised how comfortable these things are.

00:36:42Oh, they certainly are.

00:36:44See?

00:36:44Better than any bed they make.

00:36:46Why, I slept there all last night and didn't even know I was sleeping.

00:36:49That's fine.

00:36:50Then you sleep there.

00:36:52Oh.

00:36:52Well, I was wrong.

00:36:55Chivalry is dead.

00:36:58Yes.

00:37:03Can we get an apartment with two bedrooms?

00:37:06Yes, yes, certainly.

00:37:07We could take the penthouse and have butlers and footmen and everything.

00:37:10I think it's very generous.

00:37:11Oh, no, no.

00:37:11I didn't mean that.

00:37:12You see, with my salary, I can't afford to...

00:37:14There you are, doctor.

00:37:15It's all yours.

00:37:16We've settled everything.

00:37:24Wait a minute.

00:37:25Where are you going with that?

00:37:27Well, I thought you could work up on the balcony.

00:37:28But I can't work up there, Johnny.

00:37:31When I work, I've got the pace and there's no room up there.

00:37:34Well, you can pace like this.

00:37:37Get me that.

00:37:38Oh, June, don't take this attitude.

00:37:40This is very trying for all of us.

00:37:41It most certainly is.

00:37:42You take my dresser, my closet's, my bed, and so you want...

00:37:44Oh, by the way, I forgot something.

00:37:46Give me your left hand.

00:37:47Why?

00:37:47I'm pronouncing you man and wife.

00:37:53I am going to write this book in one week.

00:38:08There he'll stand.

00:38:10There he'll stand.

00:38:12The man you love.

00:38:17Uh, relative?

00:38:20Hey, pastor.

00:38:21What?

00:38:22Is, um...

00:38:24Is that thing your idea of decoration?

00:38:27No, it has to be there.

00:38:28I keep referring to it.

00:38:30Oh.

00:38:36Oh!

00:38:38Look, will you please take that thing down?

00:38:39I can't look at it.

00:38:40Look, this is important work.

00:38:42I'm doing you a favor, but just being here...

00:38:43I know, I know, and I appreciate it very much.

00:38:45I'm sorry, I've just got that kind of a stomach.

00:38:47I can't take it.

00:38:48All right.

00:38:52You're an escapist, that's your trouble.

00:38:55Yes?

00:39:00My dear, I'm so happy.

00:39:04Hello, Dad.

00:39:05Oh, she's wonderful, my boy.

00:39:08I'm so glad we came early.

00:39:10I forgot to tell you, dear, that some of the faculty wanted to drop in and meet you tonight.

00:39:14Oh, that's charming.

00:39:15Congratulations, my dear.

00:39:16Well, I've known Tim ever since he was a little boy.

00:39:19Oh, well, how sweet.

00:39:21Doctor and Mrs. Nielsen.

00:39:22How do you do?

00:39:23How do you do?

00:39:23Won't you come in, please?

00:39:27It's so nice for you to drop in like this.

00:39:29Yes, indeed.

00:39:30It certainly is.

00:39:31It's not much.

00:39:32Oh, doctor, you shouldn't have done it.

00:39:34Oh, no, you shouldn't have, doctor.

00:39:35I just love surprises.

00:39:43Oh.

00:39:43Why, it's just what we needed.

00:39:46I was telling Tim only this morning that I...

00:39:47There, don't you think you'd better pick some sandwiches before the others come?

00:39:51Others?

00:39:52Isn't that wonderful?

00:39:53With all she's had to do, making fancy sandwiches.

00:39:56Tim, will you take care of this for me, please?

00:39:58May I help?

00:39:59Why, no, no, certainly not.

00:40:01It only takes one to call the delicatessen.

00:40:19Timento.

00:40:20We had a recurrent bradycardia combined with epileptoid attacks.

00:40:28And there we found a small fibrocartilaginous nodule, half the size of a pea.

00:40:35Wonderful specimen, inflame and sanyus.

00:40:37Sanyus?

00:40:38I mean sandwich.

00:40:39Oh, thank you.

00:40:50You've only just been initiated, my dear.

00:40:59That kind of talk used to bother my wife, too.

00:41:01Doctor, look, do they always talk sharp like that?

00:41:04Oh, I suppose they do take it pretty seriously.

00:41:07But if they didn't, there'd be a lot less people walking about enjoying this nice weather we're having.

00:41:10Yes, I suppose.

00:41:11Hmm.

00:41:12Oh, there's some cookies in there.

00:41:13Will you put two to each cup for me, please?

00:41:14Two?

00:41:14Hmm.

00:41:15I'll give three to the dean.

00:41:17He has a coconut fixation.

00:41:18Seems to be that's playing politics a little, isn't it?

00:41:20Well, Tim's professorship is worth an extra cookie.

00:41:22I suppose.

00:41:23Oh, you know, it's pretty funny.

00:41:25For years, Tim worked 14 hours a day for that professorship.

00:41:27That so?

00:41:28Finally, he gets it.

00:41:29But not from his research.

00:41:30No?

00:41:31Oh, dear me, no.

00:41:32No.

00:41:33The thing that finally decides it is a little custom called marriage.

00:41:39Wait a minute.

00:41:41You mean that the dean gave Tim the professorship because he was married to me?

00:41:46Hmm.

00:41:47Yes, both Tim and a chap called Hampshire were up for the job.

00:41:49Tim was married.

00:41:50Hampshire wasn't.

00:41:51Another of the dean's fixations.

00:41:53And I think he deserves an extra couple of cookies for that.

00:41:55Don't you?

00:41:56By all means, doctor.

00:41:57Yeah.

00:41:58Yes, I'm right there.

00:41:59But where's the coffee?

00:42:01Everybody's having a wonderful time.

00:42:02Everyone but Hampshire.

00:42:04Oh, he's not here tonight.

00:42:05No, he's probably out committing suicide.

00:42:07Or, uh, getting married.

00:42:09Yeah.

00:42:10A little late, eh, son?

00:42:11Uh-huh.

00:42:12Tim, will you please give this to the dean?

00:42:17But why so many cookies?

00:42:18Why, you ungrateful thing.

00:42:20That's a bonus for giving you the professorship.

00:42:24Doctor, would you carry that tray for me, please?

00:42:26Yes, my dear.

00:42:26Yeah.

00:42:27You are not getting anything out of this.

00:42:29You're only going through with it because you're a gentleman and you don't want to ruin my career.

00:42:32Gentleman's word's gentleman's word.

00:42:34Dean Lord.

00:42:42To Timothy, who yesterday was only an instructor.

00:42:46And tomorrow, who knows?

00:42:49Good night.

00:42:53Good night.

00:42:54Good night, Dean Lord.

00:42:55It was nice having to go.

00:42:56Good night.

00:42:57Good night.

00:42:58Good night.

00:42:59Goodbye.

00:43:00Goodbye.

00:43:02Good night.

00:43:02Good night, son.

00:43:03Good night.

00:43:04Good night, my dear.

00:43:05Good night, doctor.

00:43:06Good night.

00:43:07Good night.

00:43:08Good night, son.

00:43:14But, Miss Cameron, I was going to tell you.

00:43:16Oh, you were, were you?

00:43:17So you were going to take my bed and three drawers of my dresser.

00:43:21Two weren't good enough for you.

00:43:23Oh, no.

00:43:23Well, you listen to me.

00:43:24I don't care if you're nine foot six.

00:43:26You're going to sleep on that couch if you have to do it in sections.

00:43:34Chocolate malt, please.

00:43:48Chocolate malt with egg.

00:43:49Oh, no egg.

00:43:50Just a plain chocolate malt.

00:43:52Yeah, but there's no charge for the egg.

00:43:54It's a special today.

00:43:54No, thanks.

00:43:55Just plain.

00:43:56Yeah, but it won't cost you anything.

00:43:57Besides, it's good for you.

00:43:58No egg.

00:44:11Tim, you get out of here.

00:44:12No, never marry.

00:44:20Please, you've got to make up your mind to listen to me.

00:44:22I'm not married.

00:44:22I never have been married.

00:44:23But the paper says...

00:44:24I can explain the whole thing.

00:44:25This is the way it started.

00:44:28Schuyler 764823.

00:44:34Schuyler 764843.

00:44:36They made me a professor because I was a married man.

00:44:38But now that you are a professor, you can deny it.

00:44:41Oh, but how can I explain to reporters the fact that I passed out on her bed?

00:44:45I mean, that sort of publicity, and I'd be bounced on the university.

00:44:49But when she goes to Reno, you're going to get publicity.

00:44:51Oh, but that isn't scandal.

00:44:53Anybody has a right to a nice, quiet divorce.

00:44:56Why, even the dean himself has had three wives.

00:45:00Let's get out of here.

00:45:01We're getting a little conspicuous.

00:45:03Yeah.

00:45:05Let's have a drink, Marilyn.

00:45:06Ah, dear.

00:45:07Over there, over there.

00:45:10Marilyn, I promise you, the minute she leaves for Reno, we'll sneak off and get married.

00:45:14Yes, but Cookie, this Cameron woman, are you and she living in the same...

00:45:18Oh, but it isn't the same, dear.

00:45:19I mean, we seldom see each other.

00:45:21But you're not living with your father now.

00:45:23Have you an apartment of your own?

00:45:25An apartment?

00:45:25Ah, yes, yes, at the Standish Arms, you know, in the Gramercy Place.

00:45:29Oh, fine, Cookie.

00:45:31I'll be over to dinner tonight.

00:45:32Hey, you put an egg in this.

00:45:33You will?

00:45:34But the kitchen is awfully small.

00:45:36It's big enough for cocktails.

00:45:38I'll be there at 6.30.

00:45:39You'll be there at 6.30.

00:45:41Well, I'll think of something.

00:45:42What?

00:45:43Oh, I mean, something special.

00:45:44What do you mean?

00:45:45Well, I mean, something to go with cocktails.

00:45:48You don't want to come up there and find just martinis.

00:45:51Just martinis.

00:45:53There are exactly 7 million bars in this town, and she has to have her cocktails up here.

00:45:57She's coming because she's suspicious, and if you don't hurry and she finds you here, it'll be all up.

00:46:01Just tell her I'm a woman of good taste, and therefore I would have no designs on you.

00:46:04She happens to be the girl I love.

00:46:05Yes, you've told me that before.

00:46:08Must be any signs of femininity around here.

00:46:10Well, perhaps you'd better take the flowers out of the curtains then, huh?

00:46:18What's that?

00:46:19That's Himmelweis.

00:46:20She's always in my bedroom.

00:46:21Instead of a mattress?

00:46:22Don't stand there.

00:46:24She'll be here any minute.

00:46:25Don't you yell at me, you microbe hunter.

00:46:27It's bad enough being thrown out of my own apartment.

00:46:29I'll never get that book finished.

00:46:30It'd only be for a couple of hours.

00:46:31I'll have to try and put it in the closet, huh?

00:46:34Miss Marilyn, what are you going to do?

00:46:36Well, I'll get into bed, and you can tell her that I'm a patient.

00:46:39No, no, no, don't do that.

00:46:42No.

00:46:43Listen, if that's your dream, girl, she sounds more to me like the village blacksmith.

00:46:46Hey, anybody at home?

00:46:48It's dead.

00:46:52Hello, son.

00:46:53Well, it looks like a big night for Professor Sterling.

00:46:55Oh, they're not here yet.

00:46:56Well, you see, Dad, we were just going out, and then...

00:46:59Who's not here yet?

00:47:00Burkhart's in town.

00:47:01Very enthusiastic over your migraine work.

00:47:03Burkhart.

00:47:03Mm, Strieger's bringing him up.

00:47:05Well, that's wonderful.

00:47:05Well, you ought to be here any minute now.

00:47:06Well, you see, tonight, we were planning on going down to, uh, uh, the...

00:47:10Hello.

00:47:12Hello.

00:47:13Hello.

00:47:13Hello, Pop.

00:47:13What's this?

00:47:16Have you two had a quarrel?

00:47:19Yes.

00:47:20Yes, he hit me.

00:47:21You didn't.

00:47:23Yes, he did.

00:47:23Well, I...

00:47:24I only pushed her.

00:47:25You only pushed her?

00:47:27Tim, I shouldn't have to remind you that this is not the Neolithic age.

00:47:30Well, how would you like it if someone said that your father was a...

00:47:32a pompous, opinionated old windbag?

00:47:35I didn't say that.

00:47:36I would be honest enough to admit that the person was absolutely right.

00:47:39Oh, Pop, he's lying.

00:47:40I never said such a thing.

00:47:41I don't care who said it, my dear.

00:47:42It's true.

00:47:42I talk too much.

00:47:44Your mother always said that.

00:47:45Here, here, here.

00:47:46Come on, come on, come on.

00:47:47We're going to patch this up.

00:47:48Oh, no, no, Pop.

00:47:49I'm sorry.

00:47:50I'm going home to mother.

00:47:51And you'd better hurry.

00:47:52No, you're going to stay right here.

00:47:53No, I'm sorry.

00:47:54I can't, Pop.

00:47:54I've got to leave.

00:47:55I won't have it, I tell you.

00:47:56It's all right childish.

00:47:57Breaking up a wonderful union, quarreling over me.

00:48:00I won't have it, I tell you.

00:48:01Let me see your thumbs.

00:48:03What?

00:48:04Your thumbs, Pops.

00:48:04I'm with him.

00:48:06Oh, I thought so.

00:48:09No use in arguing with you.

00:48:13Tim, I see a slight improvement.

00:48:15She's your patient.

00:48:16Yeah.

00:48:17Go on, my boy.

00:48:18Go on.

00:48:19What are you waiting for?

00:48:20Rigor mortis set in?

00:48:22Kiss her.

00:48:36Go ahead.

00:48:37I'll go.

00:48:47I'll go, Dad.

00:48:48No, don't you go.

00:48:49No, no, no, no.

00:48:49Don't be nervous, son.

00:48:50You know more about headaches than any of these.

00:48:52Look.

00:48:54Hello, sweetheart.

00:48:55Johnny.

00:48:56This is Tim's father.

00:48:58This is Johnny.

00:48:59How do you do?

00:49:00Wedding anniversary, marriage, you know.

00:49:02Eight days today, and we thought a little celebration.

00:49:04Oui, that's my...

00:49:06Oh.

00:49:08Oh, Dr. Burkhardt.

00:49:10Welcome to.

00:49:10Come in.

00:49:11My daughter-in-law, Mrs. Sterling.

00:49:12Dr. Burkhardt.

00:49:13Mr. uh, Mr.

00:49:14Pierce.

00:49:15Mr. Pierce.

00:49:16You know Dr. Streeter.

00:49:17Hello.

00:49:18Look, I want to talk to Mr. Johnson next door on 14A.

00:49:21Yeah, right away.

00:49:23What?

00:49:24They're not in?

00:49:25Oh, that's fine.

00:49:25I mean, thanks very much.

00:49:27Tim.

00:49:28Tim.

00:49:29Where's Tim?

00:49:29Oh, I'll get him.

00:49:31Will you excuse him, please?

00:49:31Thank you, dear.

00:49:34Hey, I don't want to seem like a nagging wife, but that's not the way to the living room,

00:49:39you know.

00:49:39Well, I'm going to sneak through the apartment next door, then out at home, then I can head

00:49:42Marilyn off at the elevator.

00:49:43That's right.

00:49:43Tim.

00:49:44Tim.

00:49:45Wait, you better go in there and see the murder first.

00:49:47Come on.

00:49:47All right.

00:49:49Here he is.

00:49:52Dr. Burkhardt, my son.

00:49:54Dr. Sterling.

00:49:55Oh, how do you do, doctor?

00:49:56I've been looking forward very much to meeting you.

00:49:58I've been looking forward to meeting you ever since Streeter sent me your paper on migraines.

00:50:02Thank you very much.

00:50:03Now, you two had better sit down here.

00:50:04I know you have a lot to talk about.

00:50:06Oh, no, no.

00:50:07No, not just yet.

00:50:07Please.

00:50:08Let me fix you a cocktail first.

00:50:10And, Tim, you go into the kitchen and fix some of those wonderful cheese things that

00:50:13you do so well.

00:50:14Oh, yes.

00:50:14Those things.

00:50:15No, don't bother, old man.

00:50:16You have your talk.

00:50:17I'll fix it.

00:50:18You certainly will.

00:50:19You see, I'm sorry, but this is one of those things Tim has to do all by himself.

00:50:23Hurry, darling.

00:50:23Come on.

00:50:53Marilyn!

00:50:54Darling!

00:50:55You got the wrong apartment.

00:50:56Oh, but you said 14B.

00:50:57Oh, did I?

00:50:58Whatever made me say that?

00:50:59I'm lucky I caught you, isn't it?

00:51:00Yes.

00:51:01Yes.

00:51:02Yes.

00:51:03Yes.

00:51:04Yes.

00:51:05Yes.

00:51:06Yes.

00:51:07Yes.

00:51:08Yes.

00:51:09Yes.

00:51:10Yes.

00:51:11Yes.

00:51:12Yes.

00:51:13Yes.

00:51:14Yes.

00:51:15Yes.

00:51:16Yes.

00:51:17Yes.

00:51:18Yes.

00:51:19Yes.

00:51:20Yes.

00:51:21Yes.

00:51:22Yes.

00:51:28Oh!

00:51:29Well, how do you like it?

00:51:31This isn't your apartment.

00:51:33Huh?

00:51:34This is your mansion.

00:51:36Oh.

00:51:37Oh, Tim, it's exquisite.

00:51:39It's nice of the time being.

00:51:41I never thought you'd have a place like this.

00:51:43Neither did I.

00:51:44Oh, I'm sorry if it seems such a shock.

00:51:46But after all, in your last place, you only had one chair.

00:51:49Yes, I did, didn't I?

00:51:51How can you afford it?

00:51:52Well, you see, I'm a professor now and practically makes me head of a department.

00:51:56Yes, but even so...

00:51:57And, of course, I've been doing quite a bit of consultation work, too.

00:52:00Well, I need a drink now.

00:52:03Oh, yes, the martinis.

00:52:04I don't have much time to make them yet, but I'll soon fix that.

00:52:07Don't you worry, I...

00:52:08Don't you know where you keep your liquor?

00:52:23Well, as a matter of fact, I never know where that butler's gonna put a thing.

00:52:26Butler?

00:52:27Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me a bit if you had him out in the kitchen right now.

00:52:30Are you just big stuff at home and have a cigarette and I'll attend the drink situation, huh?

00:52:46So, this is the nation's number one Creole.

00:52:48Was?

00:52:49Oh, thank you.

00:52:50Thank you, my dear.

00:52:51Perhaps, but personally to Mr. Sterling, you look to me...

00:52:53Well, it won't be long.

00:52:54Ah, Mr. Doctor de Cuisine.

00:52:56You're very quiet for an amateur chef.

00:52:58We hardly heard you in the kitchen at all.

00:52:59Everything under control, dear.

00:53:01Well, so far, all on the fire, but it just needs watching.

00:53:04Yes, I...

00:53:05Tim!

00:53:06Come back here.

00:53:07Yes, Dad.

00:53:08What's the reason for this sudden affinity for the stove?

00:53:10You've never knew your way around a kitchen before.

00:53:12Marriage.

00:53:13Marriage has changed all that, hasn't it, darling?

00:53:15Yes.

00:53:16Oh, Dr. Sterling.

00:53:17Is this the anatomical head your father was speaking about?

00:53:20Yes.

00:53:21I understand it's a replica of a glandular case you had at the clinic.

00:53:24Yes, we covered it from caliper measurements.

00:53:26It's...

00:53:27Oh, something's burning.

00:53:29I...

00:53:30Oh, Johnny, would you bring me a drink?

00:53:31Oh, better still, bring the shaker.

00:53:32Right.

00:53:33Take it easy, old man.

00:53:34I've got Marilyn next door.

00:53:35Oh, well, that's not Marilyn.

00:53:36Well, you can't bring her in here.

00:53:37I'm not going to.

00:53:38But you've got to get rid of her.

00:53:39I'm trying to get rid of her.

00:53:40Now, if they get suspicious, knock on the wall, will you?

00:53:41Okay.

00:53:42Cookie!

00:53:43Yes, dear?

00:53:44Well, that's quite isn't under of sadness, huh?

00:53:45I'm not going to get rid of her.

00:53:46I'm trying to get rid of her.

00:53:47Now, if they get suspicious, knock on the wall, will you?

00:53:48Okay.

00:53:49Cookie!

00:53:50Yes, dear?

00:54:05Well, that's quite isn't under of sadness.

00:54:09Well, that's quite isn't under of sadness, huh?

00:54:14Oh, my cookie, forgive me.

00:54:15But what's there to forgive, darling?

00:54:17I never thought I'd be a suspicious woman.

00:54:20But for a teeny moment, I really was.

00:54:23But you had every right to be, darling, every right in the world.

00:54:25I see now.

00:54:27You had to go through with the marriage.

00:54:29Why, yes, to get the professorship and in order to make enough money to take care of a professor's wife.

00:54:34But the minute she goes to Reno, we go to Greenwich.

00:54:37To Reno?

00:54:38What were his findings on hyperesthesia of the scalp?

00:54:41Well, I'm not quite sure.

00:54:42He asked him to come here a moment, will you please?

00:54:44Surely.

00:54:47My hand, it went to sleep.

00:54:50What's that?

00:54:51Oh, just my eyes.

00:54:53Where are you going, Cookie?

00:54:55I've got a little surprise for you in the kitchen.

00:54:57Oh, you're sweet.

00:54:58Oh, and stay here for just one little minute and don't pee,

00:55:01because if you do, I'll never forgive you.

00:55:04Oh, now, Professor, you don't want to spoil everything, do you?

00:55:07That's a surprise recipe.

00:55:14Take a good look.

00:55:15These are achieved surprises.

00:55:16Oh, yeah.

00:55:19Oh, Tim, what were your findings on the oxygen treatment in regard to hyperesthesia of the scalp?

00:55:24Well, I can't say that I came to any definite conclusion.

00:55:28But I'll say this, that during July at the clinic, out of 15 cases to which we administered oxygen,

00:55:33we found that 13 of the patients had developed a...

00:55:35Peter!

00:55:36Oh, pardon me, gentlemen, the little woman.

00:55:42Here are your cheese surprises, but don't offer me.

00:55:44Here.

00:55:45Hey, wait a minute.

00:55:46Where are you going?

00:55:47I...

00:55:48Call me on the telephone in 10 seconds.

00:55:49Well, what about the...

00:55:50Hello?

00:55:51Yes?

00:55:52Yes, it's Dr. Sterling.

00:55:53A what?

00:55:54A severed pneumogastric?

00:55:55Well, I'll be right over.

00:55:56Oh, Cookie, must you?

00:55:57Yes, darling, I'm afraid I must.

00:55:58But I'll tell you what I'll do.

00:55:59I'll put you in a cab, and then I'll pick you up later, huh?

00:56:00Well, all right.

00:56:01Well, all right.

00:56:02But your hat!

00:56:03My what?

00:56:04My hat?

00:56:05My hat?

00:56:06Yes.

00:56:07My hat.

00:56:08My hat.

00:56:09Yes.

00:56:10Hello.

00:56:11Yes?

00:56:12Yes, it's Dr. Sterling.

00:56:13A what?

00:56:14A severed pneumogastric?

00:56:15Well, I'll be right over.

00:56:16Oh, Cookie, must you?

00:56:17Yes, darling, I'm afraid I must.

00:56:18But I'll tell you what I'll do.

00:56:19I'll put you in a cab, and then I'll pick you up later.

00:56:21Huh?

00:56:22Hello, all right.

00:56:23But your hat.

00:56:24My what?

00:56:25My hat?

00:56:26Yes.

00:56:27My hat.

00:56:28My hat.

00:56:29Yes.

00:56:30Well, hello, Doctor.

00:56:48Oh, hello.

00:56:49Been keeping you busy?

00:56:50We certainly have.

00:56:51That's our new neighbor.

00:56:53They want us to play bridge sometime.

00:56:54Oh, that's nice.

00:56:55Oh, that train.

00:56:56It's so good to be back again.

00:56:59Well, it's good to have you back, Lydia.

00:57:01I missed you something awful this time.

00:57:03I didn't go anyplace.

00:57:04I didn't do anything.

00:57:05I just couldn't sleep and I...

00:57:12Now, with this thought in mind, let us return to our microscopes and examine the specimen again.

00:57:25Doc, there's something on our minds.

00:57:27You amaze me, Mr. Stapkovich.

00:57:29What is it?

00:57:30Well, the coach was just wondering if we're gonna be eligible to play against Ford on Saturday.

00:57:34Well, gentlemen, as you well know, 75 is the passing grade.

00:57:38And so far, you've confined all your passing to the football field.

00:57:42Well, uh, couldn't you give us some kind of an examination right now?

00:57:46If we passed, we'd be eligible to play on Saturday.

00:57:49Well, all right.

00:57:51Here's your examination.

00:57:52Question number one.

00:57:53How many bones are there in the human body, Mr. O'Brien?

00:57:56Uh, uh...

00:58:01Well, uh, couldn't we kind of, uh, think this thing over and, uh, phone you?

00:58:06Oh, come, come, Mr. O'Brien.

00:58:08How many bones in the human body?

00:58:10Well, uh, well, there must be dozens.

00:58:16Well, I can't exactly call that wrong.

00:58:19Good luck on Saturday.

00:58:20Oh, gee, Doc, you're a regular.

00:58:22We could offer a right hour for you.

00:58:23It's all right.

00:58:24Doc, we'll murder them with that old XYZ play.

00:58:26Yes, sir.

00:58:27Dr. Sterling, there's a Miss Thomas wants to see you in your office.

00:58:29Oh, thank you very much.

00:58:32June Cameron's new recipe, love.

00:58:34Hot milk and honey for hard-working hubby.

00:58:37Always look exciting, girls, says June.

00:58:40Hot milk and honey.

00:58:41So it's only a business arrangement.

00:58:44Oh, Tim, how can you do this to me?

00:58:47But I didn't pose for this thing.

00:58:48It's trick photography.

00:58:50I'm the laughing stock of all my friends.

00:58:52I can't put up with it any longer.

00:58:54Don't worry, darling, you won't have to.

00:58:56This time you've gone too far.

00:58:59Oh, Johnny.

00:59:02You promised me that...

00:59:03Well, don't blame me.

00:59:04Charlie must have done it.

00:59:05I'll give you exactly three weeks to finish your little masterpiece and get to Reno.

00:59:08Oh, she can finish the book in a few days, but she can't go to Reno for a month.

00:59:12An immediate divorce would kill the sales.

00:59:14I give her three weeks.

00:59:16That's strange.

00:59:17That sounded to me like an order.

00:59:19That's just the way I meant it to sound.

00:59:21Is that so?

00:59:22Yes.

00:59:23Well, if that's the way you feel about her, my pathological playmate,

00:59:25we can put an end to this thing much sooner.

00:59:27I think I can arrange to have you in Maryland's arms by supper time.

00:59:30How?

00:59:31Perfectly simple.

00:59:32I'll just call up the gentleman in the press and tell them we were never married.

00:59:34No, no, you came to that at the university.

00:59:36A great hitter.

00:59:38You don't think she'd do a thing like that and ruin her own book, do you?

00:59:41I might, if I got mad enough.

00:59:43And I think I'm mad enough.

00:59:45Now, you listen to me, my microscopic friend.

00:59:47You might be able to give orders to that barnacle you're engaged to,

00:59:50but the last time a man tried it on me, I was six and he was seven.

00:59:53And for one solid hour, I beat him over the head with my all-day sucker.

00:59:58Now, you're so brittle at one of these cold days,

01:00:00you're going to break up into a million pieces.

01:00:01And when that happens, I want to seat right in the grandstand.

01:00:04That's very funny.

01:00:05Very funny.

01:00:06You're like all the rest of these career women,

01:00:07just an inferiority complex turned inside out.

01:00:11Shh!

01:00:12Go, Father.

01:00:13I'll go.

01:00:18Oh, Pa!

01:00:19What a pleasant surprise.

01:00:20And Dr. Streeter, come in.

01:00:22Thank you, dear.

01:00:23Doctor, would you mind?

01:00:24Well, son.

01:00:25You both look very happy.

01:00:27The three of you.

01:00:29May I have your hats?

01:00:31No, no, no, we haven't dropped in for a little,

01:00:32just to give Tim a little advice.

01:00:33Oh.

01:00:34Tim, Streeter feels that when you talk to Burkhard,

01:00:36you ought to make it quite clear that you don't want him

01:00:38to use any of your research in his new book.

01:00:40June, dear, you'll be along.

01:00:41See that he doesn't get too generous.

01:00:43I will?

01:00:44Oh, I don't think that I'm...

01:00:45June, dear, I forgot to tell you,

01:00:47but the Burkhardt's invited us up for the weekend.

01:00:49Oh.

01:00:50I think you'd better start packing,

01:00:51because we'll be leaving in a few minutes.

01:00:52Oh.

01:00:53Will we?

01:00:54Well, we won't hold you up.

01:00:55It's a good seven-hour drive.

01:00:57Yep.

01:00:58My bus to Burkhardt?

01:00:59Yes?

01:01:00Oh, you're going to have a very interesting weekend.

01:01:01They've got a 15-year-old daughter.

01:01:02She's just written a novel,

01:01:03and she's dying to read it to you.

01:01:05I'm dying, too.

01:01:07Goodbye.

01:01:08It was very sweet of you.

01:01:09Goodbye, now.

01:01:10Goodbye.

01:01:11Happy weekend.

01:01:13Now, what is this all about?

01:01:14Well, I'm sorry, but I forgot to mention it.

01:01:16Oh, I see.

01:01:18Well, it really doesn't make any difference,

01:01:19because I'm not going anywhere.

01:01:20Oh, but, darling, you must.

01:01:21If you don't go,

01:01:22then his father will think you're staying behind on my account.

01:01:24Johnny, I'm going to finish the book over the weekend.

01:01:27But you can work up there.

01:01:28Oh, I can't.

01:01:29Of course you can.

01:01:30Yes, but just to keep the reference straight.

01:01:31Remember, I'm doing this for him and not for you.

01:01:33All right, honey.

01:01:34Please hurry up.

01:01:35I certainly will.

01:01:36Goodbye, Johnny.

01:01:37And if the last chapter's as good as the other six,

01:01:40then my wife will be as rich as she's lovely.

01:01:42Come on, will you?

01:01:43We'll never make it.

01:01:44Will you please relax, my muddling medico?

01:01:46This happens to be one of those tender moments

01:01:48that you wouldn't understand.

01:01:49Goodbye, darling.

01:01:50Goodbye, my sweet.

01:01:51The second cousins.

01:01:58Oh, I see Chester's come between us again, huh?

01:02:00Yes, and don't call him Chester.

01:02:03I beg your pardon.

01:02:08Oh, there's Marilyn.

01:02:10Where?

01:02:11Right there.

01:02:12Get down, will you, please?

01:02:18Tim!

01:02:19Why, hello, Marilyn.

01:02:20How are you?

01:02:21Where are you going?

01:02:22Oh, we're...

01:02:23I'm going up to Burkhardt to do a little work.

01:02:25Burkhardt.

01:02:26Remember I told you all about Burkhardt?

01:02:27Did you tell her yet?

01:02:28Oh, sure, sure.

01:02:29I told Anne.

01:02:30She's leaving for Reno as soon as she possibly can.

01:02:33Well, she'd better.

01:02:34Of all the disappointed old maids, she takes the cake.

01:02:38Always look exciting.

01:02:41You know what I saw in the paper?

01:02:42It was the funniest thing.

01:02:43It said she was 25 years old.

01:02:45She's 40 if she's a day.

01:02:49Tim, right while I'm talking.

01:02:50I didn't mean it, Angel.

01:02:52Well, all right.

01:02:53Cookie, you know what I've been thinking about?

01:02:55You know where we could go on our honeymoon?

01:02:57Where?

01:02:59Tim, that's very rude.

01:03:01Well, but slipped there dead.

01:03:03Well, it's not at all nice.

01:03:04I should think after knowing her, you'd appreciate your baby a teeny bit more.

01:03:08Oh, I do, I do, Angel.

01:03:11I...

01:03:12Oh, I do, Angel.

01:03:14Honest, I do.

01:03:15Am I forgiven?

01:03:17Forgiven.

01:03:18Honest?

01:03:19Truly.

01:03:20Oh, well, I've got to be going.

01:03:23Well, well, I've got to be going.

01:03:25Goodbye, Cookie.

01:03:26Goodbye.

01:03:27You call me the first teeny-weeny moment you get back.

01:03:30I will.

01:03:31I'll miss you.

01:03:32I'll miss you, too.

01:03:37Oh, Cookie.

01:03:38Yes?

01:03:44Bye-bye.

01:03:45Bye.

01:03:46Dr. Sterling, I presume.

01:03:47Nearly ruined everything.

01:03:48Well, in case you don't know, at the bottom of your car is not the ideal place to spend a weekend.

01:04:01Well, I'm sorry, but I had to talk to her.

01:04:03Oh, careful, Cookie!

01:04:05Why, you just missed getting us killed by a teeny-weeny little bit.

01:04:09You are about the most obnoxious female I think I've ever met.

01:04:12Oh, I'm sorry.

01:04:13Forgiven.

01:04:14Forgiven.

01:04:15Honest and truly.

01:04:20Now, just from one cookie to another, you must admit that's pretty stale talk, that cookie business.

01:04:24You know, it strikes me you're laboring under the impression that you're superior to Madeline.

01:04:28Oh, no.

01:04:29Well, maybe in sarcasm, yes.

01:04:30But when it comes to why you couldn't lure me out of a burning building.

01:04:34You know, Johnny and I were discussing only yesterday how quietly repulsive you are.

01:04:39Johnny.

01:04:40Uh-huh.

01:04:41You know, his devotion to you is really touching.

01:04:43Yes, I think so.

01:04:44Loves everything about you.

01:04:45Mm-hmm.

01:04:46Your books, your profits, your apartment, your liquor, your cigarettes, your...

01:04:50You know, you and that little bundle of boredom are gonna make a charming couple.

01:04:53And when people don't ask you out, don't blame it all on her.

01:04:56Really, officer?

01:04:57Just during a bad...

01:04:58I spotted the MD license on the car.

01:04:59You a doctor?

01:05:00Yeah.

01:05:01Well, come on.

01:05:02There's an emergency case.

01:05:03Follow me.

01:05:04Well, Joe, your luck's finally changed.

01:05:05This is Dr. Sterling.

01:05:06You mapped him up on the pike.

01:05:07Mighty kind of you, doctor.

01:05:08Put yourself out.

01:05:09She's upstairs.

01:05:10She seems to be having a lot more trouble than usual.

01:05:11Well, most of the time it just seems that way.

01:05:13Will it?

01:05:14Well, Joe, your luck's finally changed.

01:05:15This is Dr. Sterling.

01:05:16You mapped him up on the pike.

01:05:17Mighty kind of you, doctor.

01:05:18Put yourself out.

01:05:19She's upstairs.

01:05:20Gee, seems to be having a lot more trouble than usual.

01:05:35Well, most of the time it just seems that way.

01:05:37I got to get back on the beat, Joe.

01:05:40Hope it's a boy.

01:05:41Just so it ain't quintuplets.

01:05:44Shoot, you done?

01:05:46Next time, son.

01:05:46Give me a ride on the handlebar.

01:05:48Some other time.

01:05:49Officer, what's the matter inside?

01:05:51Is anything serious?

01:05:52Well, the baby seems like it just don't want to be born.

01:05:54Baby?

01:05:55Well, isn't there a doctor in the community?

01:05:57Yes, there is, but I couldn't find him.

01:05:59Out on another case, I guess.

01:06:00Well, I've got to get back on the beat.

01:06:01A lot of speeders going up to the football game.

01:06:03Yeah.

01:06:03Wish I was one of them.

01:06:04I'll bet.

01:06:05How soon?

01:06:07Not for a little while yet.

01:06:09Get any hot water?

01:06:11Where are your foot?

01:06:12Sort of twisted it.

01:06:14Sit down.

01:06:14Let's take a look at it.

01:06:22I think you sort of broke it.

01:06:24Them blame chuck holes.

01:06:25I stepped in one while I was plowing.

01:06:28You better keep off it.

01:06:38Where's your nearest neighbor?

01:06:39Mrs. Sawyer about a mile down the road.

01:06:47Yeah.

01:06:47I'm better.

01:06:48There's a Mrs. Sawyer down the next farm.

01:06:49Would you mind driving down the ghetto?

01:06:50I need some help.

01:06:51No, not at all.

01:06:54All right, honey.

01:06:55Hop off the car.

01:07:00Mrs. Sawyer.

01:07:02What's the matter with me?

01:07:03How is she?

01:07:19Nothing much I could do for a while.

01:07:23Where's Mrs. Sawyer?

01:07:25Oh, she couldn't come.

01:07:26She, uh, she scrawled her to hand with some boiling water.

01:07:29All right.

01:07:34Not bad.

01:07:39Say, that's your new dress.

01:07:40Yes, it is.

01:07:41I was afraid it had too much lure for me.

01:07:46There you are, Mr. Sawyer.

01:07:47Oh, thank you.

01:07:49All right?

01:07:54Well, kids, how is it?

01:07:55It's okay.

01:07:57Coming from you, that's pretty good.

01:08:00Hey, I'll get you cold.

01:08:01Billy.

01:08:21Hey.

01:08:22Another president?

01:08:45No, I'm afraid it's another career woman.

01:08:47Never saw so much kicking and screaming in my life.

01:08:52She'll get over it.

01:08:55Hey, Doc! It's an Indian! It's all rain!

01:09:12Sorry.

01:09:15Where are we?

01:09:16On the way home. It's too late to go to Burkhardt's now.

01:09:20Oh, that's too bad.

01:09:22You're gonna miss your talk with him, aren't you?

01:09:24Oh, it is worth missing.

01:09:26I mean, after all, an Indian isn't born every minute.

01:09:30No.

01:09:31Besides, there'll be other weekends out there.

01:09:35You know, a discussion on the myelin sheath of the cerebrospinal nerve fiber is good any time.

01:09:41Where did you pick that up?

01:09:43Oh, I've been looking through some of our wedding presents.

01:09:46Oh.

01:09:49Would you like me to drive for a while? All that must have been pretty exhausting.

01:09:52Oh, no, no, no. It's all right.

01:09:54I was a little scared.

01:09:56It's the first baby I've delivered since I was an intern.

01:09:58Really?

01:09:59Mm-hmm.

01:10:02He looked awfully good from where I sat.

01:10:06Never could have done it without the help of Mrs. Sawyer.

01:10:12Come in.

01:10:14Oh, sorry, Tim. I, uh, just wanted to get a glass of milk.

01:10:18That's perfectly all right, June.

01:10:20Well, here. Why didn't you ask me? I'd have done that for you.

01:10:23There.

01:10:26Well, thanks. I'll get your milk.

01:10:28Mm-hmm. Never mind. I'll get it.

01:10:31Um, would you like some?

01:10:34Why, yes, thanks.

01:10:37I wonder who that can be.

01:10:38Don't bother. I'll go.

01:10:46Well, Mr. O'Brien and Mr. Slatkovich are nice. Come in.

01:10:49What happened to your head?

01:10:50Oh, oh, nothing. Just a slight concussion.

01:10:52Hey, Doc, we won the game.

01:10:54Yeah, we scored all the points between us.

01:10:55Oh, would you two like to celebrate with a glass of milk?

01:10:57Oh, no, thanks.

01:10:59Hey, Doc, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have been able to play.

01:11:01Well, your victory makes me very happy.

01:11:02You know how we piled up those points, Doc?

01:11:04I know.

01:11:05The old XYZ play.

01:11:06That's the one where I take out the two guards in the tackle,

01:11:08pardon me, Doc,

01:11:09and then Louis starts around in and cuts right through center.

01:11:11Oh, boy, I wish you could have seen it.

01:11:12Worked like nobody's business.

01:11:14I'm sure it did.

01:11:15Well, thanks for telling me about it.

01:11:16Tell you about it?

01:11:17Well, Doc, we'd cut off our right arm for you.

01:11:19Wouldn't we, Slatkovich?

01:11:20Wouldn't we, Slatkovich?

01:11:21Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:22Well, some other time, boys.

01:11:23Good night.

01:11:24Oh, it'd be nice for you to come in and tell me about your great victory.

01:11:27So long, Doc.

01:11:28Take the bust in on you like this guy.

01:11:29It's quite all right.

01:11:30Night.

01:11:33Hey, what's the matter?

01:11:34Something eating you?

01:11:35Did you see those flowers?

01:11:36Yeah, pretty, weren't they?

01:11:37But you didn't see the note that came with it.

01:11:39It said something about love and was signed John.

01:11:41Well, the Doc's name ain't John.

01:11:43You mean some guy's trying to get away with the Doc's little woman?

01:11:46And he's doing it, too.

01:11:47Else, why would the Doc be sleeping on the couch?

01:11:50Oh, and the Doc's such a swell guy.

01:11:53And they were so happy together.

01:11:55Hey, who is this skunk with the love and the flowers?

01:11:58I don't know.

01:11:59But the name on the card was John.

01:12:01And if I ever catch him, I'll tear him to small pieces.

01:12:04You mean we'll tear him to small pieces.

01:12:09You know, I think those two have a schoolboy crush on you.

01:12:12Yes, and I'm afraid their devotion will end with the football season.

01:12:15Cookie?

01:12:16What?

01:12:17Oh, no, no, no.

01:12:18I meant this kind.

01:12:19Oh.

01:12:20I'm sorry.

01:12:21It's all right.

01:12:22Well, I...

01:12:23Yes?

01:12:24I think you must be pretty tired, and so I'm crying.

01:12:27Oh, no, don't go to bed, please.

01:12:28I'm a bit tired.

01:12:29Why, I once sat up 72 hours in the straitjacket case.

01:12:31You did?

01:12:32Yeah.

01:12:33Well, I'm afraid I'd be pretty tame after that.

01:12:34Oh, no, don't go to bed, please.

01:12:35I'm a bit tired.

01:12:36Why, I once sat up 72 hours in the straitjacket case.

01:12:37You did?

01:12:38Yeah.

01:12:39Well, I...

01:12:40Yes?

01:12:41I think you must be pretty tired, and so I'm crying.

01:12:44Oh, no, don't go to bed, please.

01:12:45I'm a bit tired.

01:12:46Why, I once sat up 72 hours in the straitjacket case.

01:12:48You did?

01:12:49Yeah.

01:12:50Well, I'm afraid I'd be pretty tame after that.

01:12:53Besides, my schedule calls for work tonight.

01:12:55Oh, but you can do it tomorrow.

01:12:57No.

01:12:58I'm sorry.

01:12:59I don't think I can.

01:13:00You see, I promised Johnny I'd have the whole book for him in the morning.

01:13:03Oh.

01:13:04Are you finished?

01:13:05Uh-huh.

01:13:06All but four pages.

01:13:08I, uh, I'd better run along and grind those out, don't you think?

01:13:11Oh, but you shouldn't work tonight, really.

01:13:12You, you must be tired.

01:13:14Oh, yes, I am pretty tired.

01:13:17However, the book's still got to be finished, and then I, then I can go to Reno tomorrow night.

01:13:22Oh, I don't want you to feel you have to rush on my account.

01:13:24Oh, no, no.

01:13:25I mean, after all, I can always...

01:13:26Well, I know.

01:13:27But I...

01:13:28Well, I'd like to get this thing over with as quickly as possible.

01:13:32But a couple of days, one way or the other, wouldn't make much difference.

01:13:34No, of course it wouldn't, but...

01:13:36Well, you promised Marilyn, you remember?

01:13:39Yes.

01:13:40Yes, it seems we both made a lot of promises.

01:13:43Yes.

01:13:45Well, uh, good night, dear.

01:13:49Good night.

01:13:51Good night, Chester.

01:13:56Tim, did your shirts come back to the laundry?

01:13:57Yes, June.

01:13:58Well, I guess that's everything.

01:13:59Oh, wait a minute.

01:14:00You're forgetting your friend.

01:14:01Oh, yes.

01:14:02He'll buy some.

01:14:03I hate to see him go.

01:14:04I'm going to miss that radiant smile.

01:14:05Yes.

01:14:06I'll send somebody around to pick these things up.

01:14:21Well, I guess that's everything.

01:14:23Oh, wait a minute. You're forgetting your friend.

01:14:26Oh, yes. Himmelweis.

01:14:28I hate to see him go. I'm going to miss that radiant smile.

01:14:33I'll send somebody around to pick these things up.

01:14:35I take them myself, and I'm driving up to Marilyn's place in New London.

01:14:38She's giving some sort of party tonight.

01:14:40Well, that's all right. You can have them picked up any time.

01:14:42It doesn't matter.

01:14:45I wish you didn't feel you had to rush off to Reno like this.

01:14:48Well, she wants it this way.

01:14:50Hey, I'm sorry. Sometimes Marilyn's a little, uh...

01:14:54Well, I don't blame her. I'd have done the same thing.

01:14:58You know, in spite of the Cameron Wisecracks,

01:14:59I do think she's been pretty decent about this.

01:15:05It goes for you, too, Tim.

01:15:10You know, without a husband, this book never would have been written.

01:15:14Yes, without a wife, I never would have been a professor.

01:15:17We've made our little speeches, haven't we?

01:15:20Goodbye, Tim.

01:15:21Take good care of Chester, won't you?

01:15:23Yep.

01:15:27Goodbye.

01:15:28I hope you and John will be very happy.

01:15:30Thank you, and I know you and Marilyn will be.

01:15:36Oh, uh...

01:15:38I forgot.

01:15:40You know, when we first got married, I asked you to take all the blame for the divorce.

01:15:43Yes.

01:15:43Well, I'd rather you blame it on me.

01:15:47Well, Tim, I'm sorry. Bargain's a bargain.

01:15:48But it wouldn't look good for you.

01:15:49And besides, the other way's much simpler.

01:15:51Well, look, I'm not going to do it, because it isn't fair.

01:15:52Oh, you are going to do it.

01:15:53I'm not going to do it.

01:15:54That's all there is to...

01:15:55You win.

01:16:01Just tell him it was cruelty or something.

01:16:03Say I corrected papers in bed.

01:16:26Oh, hello there, old man.

01:16:29Microscope's all packed?

01:16:30Yes.

01:16:31Well, our little marriage conspiracy worked out very well, didn't it?

01:16:33With nobody the wiser.

01:16:34You know, Pierce, you're a pretty lucky guy.

01:16:36Oh, I know.

01:16:37The book will be selling like the proverbial hot cake.

01:16:39I wasn't talking about the book.

01:16:41Oh, June.

01:16:42Oh, sure, she's a great girl.

01:16:44And you've been pretty swell yourself through all this.

01:16:45Thanks a lot.

01:16:47Goodbye, old man.

01:16:47Goodbye.

01:16:48Oh, and by the way, you don't know what a comfort it was to know that she was perfectly safe with you.

01:16:51Well, goodbye once again, Professor.

01:16:55Frida Schultz live here?

01:16:59Oh, Johnny, you and your gags.

01:17:01Well, I thought we'd better use another name.

01:17:03After all, you've got to be in Reno six weeks, you know.

01:17:05Mm-hmm.

01:17:06Do I look like Frida Schultz to you?

01:17:08But, darling, if they discover that June Cameron's in Reno, then it'll kill the book.

01:17:11This way, we can go on selling copies right up to the very day you announce the divorce.

01:17:15Mm-hmm.

01:17:16You know, darling, I'm a pretty happy man.

01:17:18Charlie and I figured the whole thing out.

01:17:20In six weeks, we can sell 80,000 copies.

01:17:22Well, I guess wonderful, Johnny.

01:17:24Well, what's the matter?

01:17:25Nothing.

01:17:26Oh, but there is something.

01:17:27I said nothing's the matter.

01:17:35I'm from the Morning Express. I'd like to see Miss Cameron.

01:17:37No, no, man. No interviews today. Now, if you'll phone...

01:17:39I think she'll see me.

01:17:40Yes?

01:17:41Oh, Miss Cameron. Were you married at Greenwich?

01:17:45Why, uh, yes. Yes, I was.

01:17:48Strange. I've just been talking to the license bureau up there and there's no record of it.

01:17:52There isn't?

01:17:53Well, uh, as a matter of fact, it, uh, wasn't actually in Greenwich proper. You see, it was, uh, outside.

01:17:59Uh, yes. Yeah. It was at, uh, that little place, uh, by the fork in the road, you know.

01:18:03That's it. That's it.

01:18:04Look, let's stop kidding around. I happen to know you were never married.

01:18:07How dare you say such a thing?

01:18:08If I'm wrong, show me the certificate.

01:18:11Well, you see, I...

01:18:12I, I left it in my safe deposit box.

01:18:14Oh, so you did.

01:18:15Look, I don't blame you for faking the marriage. You needed that kind of publicity for your book.

01:18:19And I hate to be the guy that kills the golden goose, but my job is to get news.

01:18:22Oh, this is a swell story.

01:18:24Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mustn't put up that story. You, you, you really mustn't.

01:18:29All right. I'll give you a break.

01:18:33We go to press at 12 midnight. If you could show me before then that you're married, do you?

01:18:37I'll kill the story.

01:18:45But he can't print that. Think of what it'll do to the book.

01:18:47Think what it'll do to Tim, they'll throw him out.

01:18:49Well, who cares?

01:18:50I care. Why, if this thing came out, he wouldn't be able to get a job as a horse doctor.

01:18:54Well, I don't think that's important.

01:18:56You don't think that's important. After he's been so decent with us, you...

01:19:00Oh, of all the selfish individuals I've ever...

01:19:02Why, dear June, I didn't mean it like that.

01:19:04Just what did you mean, then?

01:19:07Yes?

01:19:12We was just wondering if we couldn't see the doc for about a minute.

01:19:14He's not here.

01:19:15Now, darling, all I meant was...

01:19:19Oh, John.

01:19:20What a prize package you turned out to be.

01:19:22Did you hear that? He called her darling.

01:19:25And she called him John.

01:19:27He must be the guy that sent the doc's wife them flowers.

01:19:32Let's give him the X, Y, Z.

01:19:34Certainly, that's it. Profits are important, not people.

01:19:37Why, Johnny, you've got a cash register instead of a heart.

01:19:40Why, here's the future of a really great man at stake...

01:19:42and you're worrying about the carnations in your buttonhole.

01:19:46Why, you're in love with this bumpkin.

01:19:48Yes. Yes, I am in love with him.

01:19:50Now, what do you think of that?

01:19:55Well, I might have known it, living in the same apartment.

01:19:58Why, you...

01:20:01Why, you...

01:20:31Hello, operator.

01:20:43Uh, will you get a hold of Miss Marilyn Thomas for me in, uh...

01:20:46Uh, New London, Connecticut?

01:20:48Yeah, that's right. And hurry it up, will you, please?

01:20:51Hello?

01:20:53Hello, this is Miss Cameron speaking.

01:20:55As soon as Tim... I mean, uh, Dr. Sterling arrives...

01:20:58will you have him call me right away? It's awfully important.

01:21:00Uh...

01:21:03No, no, I'd rather discuss it with the doctor, if you don't mind, and...

01:21:08But it's very important to his career.

01:21:10I am equally important to his career.

01:21:13No, I won't have him call you. I'm announcing our engagement tonight.

01:21:17Engagement?

01:21:18But you promised you'd wait. Why, if you announce it now, it'll spoil everything, don't you?

01:21:22I feel we've done more than enough for you.

01:21:30Engagement.

01:21:32All the double-crossing females I've ever heard of my...

01:21:34How do you like that, Chester?

01:21:40Look, you wouldn't want her for your mother, would you?

01:21:42No, certainly not. No one in his right mind would.

01:21:45Men certainly are blind, is all I have to say about the whole...

01:21:48Chester?

01:21:53If the telephone rings, you answer it, won't you?

01:21:56And don't you worry. We'll be right back.

01:22:00Now, Marilyn, what about the big surprise?

01:22:03Come on, everybody. Come on.

01:22:05Everybody, gather around.

01:22:06Gather right around here. You sit right down there.

01:22:08Hurry up. Hurry up, everybody.

01:22:09Come on.

01:22:10Are you ready?

01:22:11Quiet, everybody. Quiet.

01:22:12Now...

01:22:13Marilyn! My sweet.

01:22:15Oh, forgive me for being so late.

01:22:17I hurried as...

01:22:18Just as quickly as I could.

01:22:20And I'm not dressed, but then you don't mind.

01:22:22Just as quickly as I could.

01:22:23And I'm not dressed, but then you don't mind.

01:22:25Just as quickly as I could.

01:22:27And I'm not dressed, but then you don't mind.

01:22:28Just as quickly as I could.

01:22:29You're so understanding. Hello, darling.

01:22:31I don't know what you're up to, but I'm going through with it.

01:22:33And I warn you, it's going to be terribly embarrassing.

01:22:34Why, Marilyn, look how sweet you look tonight.

01:22:37Oh, goodness, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

01:22:39I certainly didn't mean to.

01:22:40Darling, I want you to meet some of the folks.

01:22:43Oh, Tim, don't bother now. I'll get to know them all later.

01:22:46Marilyn, you know what I'm going to do?

01:22:48I'm going to go over and sit in that corner in that chair.

01:22:50And I'm going to be just as quiet as a teeny-weeny little mouse.

01:22:53And you go right ahead with what you were doing, won't you?

01:22:56Good evening.

01:22:57Good evening.

01:22:58Good evening.

01:22:59Good evening.

01:23:03Quiet, everybody.

01:23:04Quiet.

01:23:05I have an announcement to make.

01:23:07Oh, please, Marilyn, not now.

01:23:08Shh.

01:23:09Well, all I want to say is...

01:23:11Oh, Mrs. Sterling, is that for you?

01:23:15Oh, isn't it lovely?

01:23:17Ruth, process violence.

01:23:19See what Mrs. Sterling means.

01:23:20Oh, sure.

01:23:21Of course she wants to.

01:23:22She wants a boy.

01:23:23I know.

01:23:24Oh, yes.

01:23:25Excuse me.

01:23:26Excuse me.

01:23:27Well, Tim and I are...

01:23:28Congratulations, Tim.

01:23:29Why did you keep it a secret?

01:23:30I hope you will get another boy.

01:23:32Oh, I think it's too bad.

01:23:34You can't get away with this.

01:23:36I know you're not married.

01:23:37You mean that...

01:23:39Well, you know, one thing leads to another.

01:23:44Oh, Tim.

01:23:46Is this true?

01:23:48Oh, dear.

01:23:59Oh.

01:24:00And then the reporter said that he was going to print the whole thing.

01:24:03Well, can't you just see those headlines?

01:24:05Doctor promises to marry a society girl deserts wife he was never even married to?

01:24:09Why, it's awful.

01:24:10Yeah, and becomes father of a child he never even heard about.

01:24:13Kind of a mess, isn't it?

01:24:16Putting it mildly.

01:24:17Well, I give up.

01:24:19Only one thing left to do.

01:24:21Yes, what is it?

01:24:22Well, I've got to marry you.

01:24:24You've got to marry me?

01:24:26Well, sure.

01:24:27Then when you go to Reno, you can get a real divorce.

01:24:32You can drop me at the nearest hotel.

01:24:35Well, what's the matter?

01:24:37Never mind, never mind.

01:24:38Just pull in right over there.

01:24:47Nice night.

01:24:48Pillar up, regular Ethel.

01:24:49No, nothing.

01:24:50Where's the nearest hotel?

01:24:51Well, you're looking right at it.

01:24:52Nice, clean bungalows, soft beds, $1.50 up.

01:24:55All right, I'll take one.

01:25:27Oh, say, would you like to play Chinese checkers with me?

01:25:39No, no, not right now.

01:25:41Please.

01:25:42Hello?

01:25:44Yes, yes.

01:25:45Oh, you haven't got a license yet.

01:25:46Yes, yes.

01:25:47I can fix that too.

01:25:48Yes, yes.

01:25:49Oh, say, would you like to play Chinese checkers with me?

01:25:52Oh, say, would you like to play Chinese checkers with me?

01:25:54Oh, say, would you like to play Chinese checkers with me?

01:25:56No, no, not right now.

01:25:57Please.

01:25:59Hello?

01:26:01Hello?

01:26:02Yes, yes.

01:26:04Oh, you haven't got a license yet.

01:26:07Yes, yes.

01:26:09I can fix that too.

01:26:10Yes, yes.

01:26:12I'll be right over.

01:26:17Henry, has anything happened?

01:26:19Not yet.

01:26:28Who is it?

01:26:29Pastor, open the door.

01:26:29Go away.

01:26:31I don't want to see you.

01:26:32Oh, June, I want to talk to you.

01:26:34No, I don't want to see you.

01:26:35Go away.

01:26:38June, please, will you open the door and let me in?

01:26:40Please, Sam, go away.

01:26:42I don't want to see you.

01:26:59June, June, I promised we'd play bridge next Thursday with, with Johnson and his wife.

01:27:12Do you, do you think you could make it?

01:27:14Oh, yes, Tim.

01:27:16Since I porque.

01:27:17No.

01:27:18Whoa.

01:27:19Yeah.

01:27:20I think I can, probably.

01:27:25Oh, my God.

01:27:29I don't think I vote.

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