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A Japanese scientist accidentally releases a giant monster in the US, and must save it-and Cincinnati-before a crazed nuclear physicist destroys both.
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A Japanese scientist accidentally releases a giant monster in the US, and must save it-and Cincinnati-before a crazed nuclear physicist destroys both.
*
#watchfreemovie
#watcnow
#fullmovie
#watchonlinemovie
#freestreaming
#StreamingNow
#MovieRecommendations
#MustWatch
#ClassicMovies
#Thriller
#Mystery
#WatchOnline
#TopRatedMovies
#CinemaLovers
#DramaFilm
#ForeignFilms
#AwardWinning
#MovieOfTheDay
#InstantClassic
#FeelGoodMovies
#RetroMovies
#MovieClips
#BestCinematography
#StreamingTonight
#LateNightMovies
#RomanticDrama
#Top10Movies
#PopcornTime
#MovieMarathon
#LoveStory
#romanticmovie
#WatchFree
#FreeMoviesOnline
#FilmOfTheYear
#BestMoviesEver
#Comedy
#FunnyMovie
#mustwatchmovie
#Movie
#Film
#filme
#Movies
#FullMovies
#ActionMovies
#ComedyMovies
#HorrorMovies
#DramaMovies
#RomanticMovies
#ThrillerMovies
#EuropeanFilms
#europeanmovie
#FrenchCinema
#SpanishMovies
#ItalianFilms
#GermanMovies
#EuropeanMovieClips
#EuropeanFilmFestival
#BestEuropeanMovies
#TopEuropeanFilms
#ClassicEuropeanCinema
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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh
00:00:22What's that? It's nothing. Come on Miyoko
00:00:30Jaya monster
00:00:37Groovy
00:00:42Thank you professor the information you gave us will help us kill the monster
00:00:48General please you must not kill Mamanuzila. She's only trying to protect her eggs
00:00:53You asked for my help and and you gave it. She is too big. We must kill her
00:00:57Proctologist. Paleontologist
00:01:00Proctologist is a doctor who looks at but that doesn't matter
00:01:04She's only big because she ate fermented berries on Mount Saketumi
00:01:08Let me find a way to make her her true size again out of the way girly man
00:01:17No
00:01:22Mamanuzila
00:01:24It is my fault my fault
00:01:43I will save your baby
00:01:54Oh
00:02:09Aha is a sign
00:02:12Ohio means hello
00:02:13I will not let you out of sight little kaiju
00:02:18His stinky promise
00:02:32Oh, I think I make big mistake papa-san would say I'm a fool
00:02:35Ichihiro honda
00:02:37Ichihiro honda
00:02:38Ichihiro honda
00:02:39Son
00:02:39You are Orokamono
00:02:41Hi
00:02:41Fool
00:02:41Yes you papa-san it's true
00:02:43But I promised my monster that
00:02:45You cannot bring that egg to america
00:02:47They still haven't forgiven us for katsu
00:02:50I am sorry papa-san
00:02:53I know I was big shitsubo
00:02:56Disappointment to you but
00:03:01What an article
00:03:01Sorry tiny so
00:03:12Sorry tiny kaiju
00:03:22Nooooo
00:03:24Third time today, and it's only 9.15.
00:03:45Blasted, manly beard.
00:03:46So, following today's test of react report number 66,
00:03:50as long as it doesn't melt down, we'll just look at you.
00:03:54Every man admires you, and every woman desires you.
00:03:58How can anybody do science when you look like that?
00:04:01Please, Shirley Gurley, I understand why you feel this way,
00:04:05but no more of this inappropriate behavior.
00:04:08I'm sorry, what, Dr. Blowheart?
00:04:10Just don't let it happen again.
00:04:12What?
00:04:13Say, lose the Coke bottles. None of the boom boys.
00:04:17Physicists.
00:04:17Like the way they look.
00:04:18Well, I need them to read the charts.
00:04:20Well, okay. But do the lip quiver.
00:04:24Ha! I love it when you do that. It's so you.
00:04:29All right, you can keep the glasses, but only when you're dressed as a physicist.
00:04:32I am a physicist.
00:04:33Listen, I said I'd make you a boom boy, and I will.
00:04:36Just let nurture take its course.
00:04:38Nurture.
00:04:38Say, under an hour.
00:04:45We're cooking with...
00:04:46Now, what's it called again?
00:04:48Plutonium-239.
00:04:49Right. Hard to remember.
00:04:51They should call it something like...
00:04:53Wow powder.
00:04:54I brought you something.
00:05:07Me!
00:05:09Oh, I'm just funnin'.
00:05:10But really.
00:05:12The mensch of mensches.
00:05:14Carl, our lives have meaning again.
00:05:16Please. Please, gentlemen. I understand your odor.
00:05:20Ardor.
00:05:20But, we have science to do.
00:05:23How is my favorite Swedish physicist?
00:05:25Actually, I'm from Mankato, don't you know?
00:05:27It's in Minnesota.
00:05:28Fasistas?
00:05:29That's German.
00:05:30I can feel it.
00:05:32Today is the day.
00:05:34First, there was the A-bomb.
00:05:36Then Truman personally asked me to oversee the B, C, D, and E-bombs.
00:05:41He let off a lot of F-bombs.
00:05:43Oh, hilarious.
00:05:45First Jerry Louise, now you très brillant.
00:05:49He's French.
00:05:51Yeah.
00:05:52Then there was the H-bomb.
00:05:54It was followed by the K-J-I-L.
00:05:59Dr. Shortman, have you calibrated your plutonium rots?
00:06:02That's a rather personal question.
00:06:04Does that even mean anything?
00:06:06No.
00:06:07Wait, is that estrogen I smell?
00:06:12Why, it could cause a hormonal explosion, men.
00:06:16Think about it, men.
00:06:22Assuming reactor number 66 doesn't explode.
00:06:25Like reactors 1 through 65.
00:06:27This is what men, and a few unattractive women in pantsuits,
00:06:30have dreamed of since the Garden of Eden.
00:06:33Unlimited power.
00:06:34I think what Dr. Blowhardt's...
00:06:37Let's do science, people!
00:06:39Everyone, attach anti-radiation devices.
00:06:44Now, engaging in quasi-scientific jargon.
00:06:48Dr. Mungish, eyeball circumnavigational hydropepic kilowousers.
00:06:52Inspect the structural integrity of the hydroelectric units.
00:06:55Not to do that.
00:06:56Dr. Shortman, check foghorn-lakehorn deportment in Chuck Jones mode,
00:07:00adjusting for rude conascension.
00:07:01I've confirmed the radiation levels in the containment sleeves.
00:07:05Yep.
00:07:05Dr. Block, rotate radio tires with counter-revolutionary turbine porridge ratio.
00:07:11I'm sorry.
00:07:12I don't even know what that one is.
00:07:14I'll just flip through these toggle switches.
00:07:17Dr. Butte, check my demeanor with toratomes of taunting technology.
00:07:21Oui.
00:07:21I will check you very good, Dr. Blowhardt.
00:07:25Why do I find it so attractive when he does that?
00:07:29Commencing countdown in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four...
00:07:38That's close enough.
00:07:39Commence self-throwing!
00:07:40Another meltdown.
00:07:51Oof-da.
00:07:52Plots.
00:07:54That dog will never hunt.
00:07:55Ha!
00:07:56Biggest one yet!
00:07:58Time to beat feet, toots.
00:07:59I'm afraid if we keep increasing plutonium levels, we'll...
00:08:13Did you know plutonium's symbol is P-U?
00:08:16Ha!
00:08:16I love that!
00:08:18Yes, I did.
00:08:19Wait, what's that?
00:08:22What's that?
00:08:23Is it reptilian?
00:08:34Could be democrat.
00:08:35But it must have been shaken loose from the subterranean shelf.
00:08:38It's not even Easter yet.
00:08:39But what period?
00:08:40Probably 1920s.
00:08:41They were big on red.
00:08:42Jurassic?
00:08:43Hark!
00:08:44I'll x-ray it.
00:08:45Well, we can talk about this at dinner, along with my plans for atomic testes.
00:08:48Testing.
00:08:49Yes, and that's how you're behaving right now.
00:08:51Testy?
00:08:51Uh, I'm sorry.
00:08:53I just need a life of my own, doctor.
00:08:55I mean, mister.
00:08:57Come on, Shirley Gurley.
00:08:58Where's that little giggle I love?
00:09:00Ha ha ha ha ha!
00:09:01That is so you.
00:09:16Okay, Mac.
00:09:18Four-way chili with beans and no silverware,
00:09:21because you got...
00:09:21Chapostick.
00:09:22Hi.
00:09:22Hi.
00:09:23No, sorry.
00:09:24Hi means...
00:09:24Yeah, I know.
00:09:25Just teasing.
00:09:26You've been in here every day for a week.
00:09:28Ever eat at another restaurant?
00:09:30There is other restaurant?
00:09:32Well, to no she.
00:09:34Mac, wait.
00:09:36You know Japanese?
00:09:37Looked it up, professor.
00:09:38You know I am professor?
00:09:39It's alive.
00:09:42It's alive.
00:09:47What is?
00:09:47I'll be sure not to order it.
00:09:49The egg.
00:09:50The x-ray showed movement.
00:09:51I can't tell what species it is,
00:09:53but it's definitely a living dinosaur.
00:09:55Oh, probably not a lot of those.
00:09:57None.
00:09:58Nuns?
00:09:59No, Cincinnati's got lots of those.
00:10:00It's very Catholic.
00:10:01Dinosaurs.
00:10:02There are definitely no living dinosaurs in Ohio.
00:10:05Make that America, doc.
00:10:07Whoa, it's over there, fella.
00:10:09Tell Tojo we won.
00:10:11You beakers need to meet this guy.
00:10:13Hi.
00:10:13Hi.
00:10:14Well, at least he speaks English.
00:10:16He's a paleontologist.
00:10:17How you know this?
00:10:20This waitress thing is just temp, professor.
00:10:22I'm an investigative reporter,
00:10:24and I don't do fluff neither.
00:10:25I know a scoop when I see it.
00:10:26So how come sometimes I'm stopped up for days,
00:10:28and other times I erupt like Mount Rushmore?
00:10:31No, but that's a proctology.
00:10:33This is Dr. Richard Blowhart,
00:10:35renowned nuclear physicist.
00:10:37And I'm...
00:10:38Shirley Ugest.
00:10:40Ugest.
00:10:41Dr. Shirley Ugest.
00:10:43Dr. Blowhart's assistant.
00:10:46I am Professor Ichihiro Honda.
00:10:49Honda?
00:10:50Like the tiny motorcycles?
00:10:51Yes, sir.
00:10:52But soon they make automobiles.
00:10:54Like those will ever replace Studebaker.
00:10:58Yes, sir.
00:10:59It is my Nozilla.
00:11:00I mean, it is A-Tochilla.
00:11:06So it's some kind of hemorrhoid.
00:11:08Do you know what species it is, Professor Honda?
00:11:10Yes, sir.
00:11:11It's Nozirosaurus party until done.
00:11:14Normally small,
00:11:16about size of, say,
00:11:19a man in a rubber suit.
00:11:20It is not...
00:11:21Rawr!
00:11:23But...
00:11:24An antsy boy?
00:11:26Harmless.
00:11:26But if exposed to alcohol,
00:11:29it suddenly grows very big.
00:11:31Funny, the opposite happens to me.
00:11:33So how often do you get these
00:11:34giant monsters in Japan, Professor?
00:11:37About every two weeks.
00:11:39Well, listen, Ichi, that's swell.
00:11:40But this is the USA.
00:11:42Ego, we don't have a problem
00:11:44with giant monsters.
00:11:45Kaiju.
00:11:46Gesundheit.
00:11:47Arigato.
00:11:48We do important stuff here,
00:11:50like blow things up.
00:11:52Well, it would be good to know more.
00:11:53Can you show me where you find Egg?
00:11:57If you want.
00:11:58Yes, sir.
00:11:59I bet you want.
00:12:03He's your boyfriend-o,
00:12:05Dr. Lohatzen?
00:12:06No, no.
00:12:07I mean, I have a great respect for him.
00:12:09He's my boss and a war hero.
00:12:12When the Germans blew up our lab in Europe,
00:12:14he was the only one to make it out alive.
00:12:17He saved thousands of government documents
00:12:19that became the basis for what we do at Snuggie.
00:12:21Would you like to see Snuggie?
00:12:25Snuggie's big pillow?
00:12:28Um, no.
00:12:29Secret nuclear underground government installation.
00:12:32There's a science briefing tomorrow at 8 a.m.
00:12:34I can put your name on the list.
00:12:38Here.
00:12:39I'll write my home address on here,
00:12:42you know, in case we need to...
00:12:43Connect?
00:12:44Oh, and that's where we found the egg.
00:12:51You said it was a notzilla-saurus...
00:12:54Party until dawn.
00:12:56It's species of flat-to-lizard
00:12:58from lapidaceous period.
00:13:00I'll show you.
00:13:04You see?
00:13:06Se are yasashi.
00:13:08Gentle and in control
00:13:09as long as they do not eat fermented berries.
00:13:13Aren't we all?
00:13:14Oh, I laughing.
00:13:17I'm laughing.
00:13:20I'm laughing.
00:13:22Oh, man.
00:13:26Oh, man.
00:13:32DAN AND MUSTRAU pieces of the egg.
00:13:36Attention Snuggie employees, please remove all radioactive materials
00:14:03from pockets and underwear before leaving, goodnight.
00:14:10I need a bigger lampshade.
00:14:28This is Dr. Shirley Uges, actual legitimate nuclear physicist.
00:14:32Please leave a message.
00:14:34It's Blowhard, where are you?
00:14:36This is the third time I've called.
00:14:38I haven't eaten yet.
00:14:40We need to do research and bring food.
00:14:43That's an ordeal.
00:14:45Odor.
00:14:46Order!
00:14:47Look, you wanna be a scientist or not?
00:14:50You little luscious-saurus, you!
00:15:04You want some of this?
00:15:05Huh?
00:15:06You want some of this?
00:15:07Huh?
00:15:08You want some of this?
00:15:09Oh, yeah.
00:15:10Yeah, you want some more?
00:15:11Uh-huh.
00:15:12Here we go.
00:15:13Uh-huh.
00:15:20Uh-huh.
00:15:21Here we go.
00:15:22Uh-huh.
00:15:23Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:15:24Uh-huh.
00:15:25Uh-huh.
00:15:26You go.
00:15:27Oh, here we go, pal!
00:15:42This is why I never share.
00:15:57Of all the gin joints and all the towns and all the world.
00:16:07The jig is up, Professor de Prevo.
00:16:10I'm Dougie Dougwood, boy gin.
00:16:13I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.
00:16:17Rosebud.
00:16:24Dr. Blowheart, are you there?
00:16:26I'm here, Shirley Gurley.
00:16:31Is that a dinosaur in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
00:16:41It's alive! It hatched!
00:16:44Hero will be so... I mean, Professor Hana will be so excited.
00:16:48And he's... he's kind of cute.
00:16:51I mean, the creature, of course, but...
00:16:54How did he get so big?
00:16:56You didn't give him beer, did you?
00:16:58Well, it's about time you got here.
00:17:00Help me get ready for the briefing.
00:17:01I need a shaver.
00:17:03Heck, I need a machete.
00:17:05Stay.
00:17:14What if he escapes from your office?
00:17:16If he does, he's so grounded.
00:17:19Attention, Drs. Martha and Rodan.
00:17:22Please meet Dr. Gorgo from Britain in the lobby.
00:17:38Genius! Genius! Genius! Genius!
00:17:41Please.
00:17:43Please.
00:17:47Today you will see our insanely impressive nuclear facility,
00:17:51built with obscene amounts of government funding.
00:17:55Everything here at Snuggie has been built to flawless standards.
00:17:59Each of our uber-fission reactors emits a thousand times more radiation
00:18:07than the state-of-the-art facility planned for Three Mile Island.
00:18:12Please be calm.
00:18:17Had that been serious, the actual room would be shaky.
00:18:21For your protection, Dr. Mungish will now give you something
00:18:24to make you look cooler than you actually are.
00:18:27Uh, bonjour. I am Dr. Jacques Boutet.
00:18:32Please follow my manly gate to the Snuggie Cafeteria,
00:18:37where we have a great barbecue planned for you,
00:18:40courtesy of reactor core number 66.
00:18:57Oy!
00:18:59I know, right?
00:19:10What happened?
00:19:13All I said was,
00:19:14gee, someone ought to go out for more beer.
00:19:16You do not give beer to Baby, especially Baby Nozilla.
00:19:19Nozilla? I was gonna call him Barn.
00:19:22Just two things I wanna know.
00:19:23What creature made that?
00:19:24This is only the beginning.
00:19:28I love that line.
00:19:30We must meet at a restaurant to form Keikaku.
00:19:33A plan to say Nozilla.
00:19:34Or kill him.
00:19:35No!
00:19:39What was the other thing?
00:19:40Aren't we supposed to be like 500 stories under the ground?
00:19:49I mean, massive quantities of radiation I can live with,
00:19:51but a dino who bogarts the brew?
00:19:53Never.
00:19:55What is it about these things?
00:19:58I mean Nobujoku Dokuto Bluhatsan.
00:20:01Nobujukotuken.
00:20:02Taken.
00:20:03But if you have not given Biru to Nozilla...
00:20:05Barney.
00:20:06Nozilla.
00:20:07This genus of dinosaur has slow metabolism until it consumes alcohol.
00:20:12Then it's pituitary gland become bulbous.
00:20:16Basically my whole teens.
00:20:17And it grow hokey.
00:20:20Gigantical.
00:20:22Like the amazing 60-foot woman with a college degree.
00:20:25Only less scary.
00:20:26No.
00:20:27Bigger.
00:20:29Bigger like...
00:20:30Skys...
00:20:31Sky Terrier.
00:20:32Skyscraper.
00:20:33My Aunt Myrtle had one of those.
00:20:34Not that big though.
00:20:35Is the effect reversible, Dr. Hunter?
00:20:37Yes, sir.
00:20:38But in Japan,
00:20:39Ami always kill monster before I can do urinalysis.
00:20:42This is no time to talk about my feelings.
00:20:44We gotta find this thing.
00:20:45Where do we find it?
00:20:46I couldn't help but overhear about the monster.
00:20:49This is our busboy, Bobby Bleach from Kentucky.
00:20:52He overheard you too, Anne.
00:20:53Wait, you both overheard us?
00:20:55This is top secret stuff.
00:20:57I mean, we work in a 500-story subterrarium.
00:20:59Subterranean complex.
00:21:00Full of nuclear reactors.
00:21:02Each powerful enough to destroy the Earth ten times over.
00:21:05And absolutely no one must know about it.
00:21:08Who else overheard?
00:21:12Tell them what you heard, Bobby.
00:21:13Hi, y'all.
00:21:16Ooh-wee!
00:21:17You a foreign feller?
00:21:19Spit it out, kid.
00:21:20Well, I overheard y'all talking about a big ol' lizard
00:21:23that sucked up a heap of suds.
00:21:25Sucked up a heap of my suds.
00:21:27And then he broke out of y'all's office and went looking for more?
00:21:29Yes.
00:21:30Dang, ain't those just the best?
00:21:32I know, right?
00:21:34Tell him about the phone call, Bobby.
00:21:36Oh, right.
00:21:37Well, about an hour ago, my grandpa,
00:21:39I live with my grandpa down near Cowbunga Bay,
00:21:41he calls and says some big ol' critter,
00:21:44just like the one y'all's talking about,
00:21:45has took all our beer!
00:21:47Taken.
00:21:48We must go there at once.
00:21:50I'll call a cab.
00:21:55Well, Butter, my button, call me a biscuit.
00:22:01Look at what he done done to our garage!
00:22:03Only a monster could do this.
00:22:05It's not so bad.
00:22:06Are you blind?
00:22:07Open your eyes.
00:22:08If he was blind, how would that help?
00:22:10Was he raised in a barn?
00:22:12In egg, actually.
00:22:13Look!
00:22:15He left the front door open.
00:22:16I do not think Nozilla did that.
00:22:18Check inside.
00:22:19I bet he left the toilet seat up and the lights on.
00:22:21Why would he do this to our garage?
00:22:23Did he take anything, Bobby?
00:22:28I'll just go check on the fan belt.
00:22:31What did he take?
00:22:32I don't reckon he actually...
00:22:34Wait.
00:22:36Yeah, he did.
00:22:37Grandpa's beer, he takes it all.
00:22:39Took.
00:22:40Go on.
00:22:41Grandpa, he likes having a little beer around
00:22:42on them cold Cowabunga nights.
00:22:43How much?
00:22:44About 80, 90 cases.
00:22:47He has a lot of girls around.
00:22:50Wait.
00:22:51Where is he?
00:22:52Grandpa?
00:22:55Grandpa?
00:22:57Damn him!
00:22:58What's this?
00:22:59Where?
00:23:00Over here!
00:23:01Aha!
00:23:02Just as I suspected.
00:23:03The monster has grown...
00:23:07...lots bigger.
00:23:10This is exactly what I want.
00:23:12What is it, Ichi?
00:23:14Mmm.
00:23:15Tastes like beer, only salty.
00:23:16And allure.
00:23:21He has gone to River.
00:23:23What?
00:23:24Did he leave an oak?
00:23:25No.
00:23:26His species is born in water.
00:23:28River will remind him of his mother.
00:23:30Aww.
00:23:31Also, as you say, blowhard sad.
00:23:34It's a lot bigger.
00:23:37Do you have boat?
00:23:38Yes, we have boat.
00:23:39I mean, yes, Snuggie has a research ship.
00:23:42He must be stopped.
00:23:45This is only the beginning.
00:23:48How often does he say that?
00:23:57Dr. Block, did you bring the Prestidigis shooting device?
00:24:00Animal tranquilizer gun.
00:24:01Oh, for sure.
00:24:02What?
00:24:03Ya.
00:24:04Ya betcha.
00:24:05Great.
00:24:06Actually, I do not think Dr. Block is Swedish blowhardson.
00:24:09I think he's black American person.
00:24:12What?
00:24:13Nonsense.
00:24:14Scientists are white and male.
00:24:16Dr. Block is a first-class scientist.
00:24:18Ego, he's white.
00:24:19Next, you're going to try to tell me it's someone on my team as a female.
00:24:22Dr. Boote, did you load the extraterrestrial webby grabber?
00:24:26Animal capture net.
00:24:27I do not need a translation, female assistant person.
00:24:31I speak manly nuclear physicist fluently.
00:24:34Check, Dr. Blowhardt.
00:24:43Are we ready, Skipper?
00:24:45Where is our normal captain?
00:24:46He's out sick.
00:24:47This is Captain Bleach.
00:24:48Bleach, huh?
00:24:49Bleach, huh?
00:25:06It feels about 150 pounds heavier than it did in the lab.
00:25:10117.
00:25:11What is it?
00:25:12A radar.
00:25:13Correction.
00:25:14It is a super secret atomic radar percolator.
00:25:17Device.
00:25:18No.
00:25:19Just device.
00:25:20It's okay.
00:25:21Most impressive.
00:25:24What does it do?
00:25:26The same thing as a normal radar, except it's atomic.
00:25:29Ego, it's better.
00:25:32There's nothing more bracing than the smell of salt water.
00:25:36He knows this is river, yes?
00:25:38Time to do science, people.
00:25:40Dr. Boote, man the webby wobbler.
00:25:43Oui, Dr. Blowhardt.
00:25:44I will man the capture nets in the most masculine of manly ways.
00:25:51Boy.
00:25:53Blowhardt, son.
00:25:54I fear net is too small.
00:25:57I have calculated Noxilla consumed 28,000 liters of fermented yeast molecule.
00:26:04Plus all that beer.
00:26:05From his urinalysis, I conclude that alcohol works like fission.
00:26:12It causes his cells to...
00:26:15Swell?
00:26:16Yes, sir.
00:26:17No, nothing swell about it, Shirley Gurley.
00:26:19Anything on the super secret?
00:26:20Radar?
00:26:23No.
00:26:24Nothing yet, Parker.
00:26:25Maybe it's the antenna.
00:26:26And that trouble with my TV.
00:26:28Or it could be the urinary decatheter.
00:26:31Wait, wait.
00:26:33There are two objects.
00:26:35Very near.
00:26:36Actually, they're here.
00:26:42How many Thin Mints?
00:26:44Well, Ichi, it looks like your little iguana wasn't so swell after all.
00:26:53Time to call it a night.
00:26:55I'm picking something up.
00:26:56Big deal.
00:26:57So am I.
00:26:58Yes, sir.
00:26:59I see him.
00:27:00How close?
00:27:02Really close.
00:27:04Look!
00:27:05This is Nozilla.
00:27:06End.
00:27:07First point.
00:27:14Oh!
00:27:15Bobby hidden that barrel.
00:27:16Wait.
00:27:17Why is there a barrel of nuclear waste?
00:27:20We missed Thursday's trash pickup.
00:27:29Blue hot side.
00:27:30Nozilla swell very good.
00:27:32Look.
00:27:35Without you.
00:27:58Notzilla, you killed my grandpa.
00:28:01And now you're gonna pay.
00:28:05Bobby.
00:28:10Bobby.
00:28:12Grandpa?
00:28:13Come on, pal.
00:28:14They lose the heat and be cool.
00:28:31Whoa!
00:28:33Gnarly!
00:28:35He's to be forever.
00:28:36He's going to shore now.
00:28:38I just picked him up on the radar.
00:28:39You mean the super secret.
00:28:40Yeah, yeah.
00:28:41And it looks...
00:28:42Yes.
00:28:43It looks like...
00:28:44Yes!
00:28:45It looks like he's headed for...
00:28:46Yes!
00:28:47Cincinnati!
00:28:50I knew it.
00:28:51That always happens.
00:28:52The music?
00:28:53Or the bit about the monster heading for the city?
00:28:55Both.
00:28:56And I'm the one to stop him.
00:28:57And I'm the one to stop him.
00:28:59This is only the beginning.
00:29:02That's like the tenth time he said that.
00:29:05I told you, I don't want to play strip scrabble, Larry.
00:29:13Oh.
00:29:14I bring strange red egg from Japan, then I accidentally flush it down airplane toilet.
00:29:20I swear to guest.
00:29:21Would you like to...
00:29:22Sorry.
00:29:23Nervous.
00:29:24Make me thirsty.
00:29:25Ew.
00:29:26This is terrible.
00:29:27Yeah.
00:29:28It's new.
00:29:29They call it diet soda.
00:29:30It tastes like...
00:29:31Dinosaur pee.
00:29:32Kind of like beer.
00:29:33Only salty.
00:29:34And warm.
00:29:35Hiro, why would you come all the way to America doing this?
00:29:36No.
00:29:37No.
00:29:38No.
00:29:39No.
00:29:40No.
00:29:41No.
00:29:42No.
00:29:43No.
00:29:44No.
00:29:45No.
00:29:46No.
00:29:47No.
00:29:48No.
00:29:49No.
00:29:50No.
00:29:51No.
00:29:52No.
00:29:54No.
00:29:55No.
00:29:56No.
00:29:57I'd rather just...
00:29:58Save egg?
00:30:01My father was soldier who killed many men.
00:30:05He always say, ig conditioning.
00:30:07I hate so much this.
00:30:11Real man, kill!
00:30:12He always make me feel shame for not wanting to kill.
00:30:16But I always thought, even as boy, no, papasan.
00:30:21Real man does not kill.
00:30:23Real man saves.
00:30:26And so I dedicate my life to save a creature no one else...
00:30:32Understands?
00:30:33Hi. Yes, sir. I know he's not manly, but...
00:30:37Kiro, I think it's the most manly thing I've ever heard.
00:30:49My dad was a geologist. He always said to follow your heart.
00:30:54Heart go out of chest?
00:30:56No, it's an expression.
00:30:59But he died when I was ten.
00:31:02And then Mom said,
00:31:05Shirley, be more like a girl.
00:31:08And then I majored in physics, and she said,
00:31:12Girls can't be scientists.
00:31:15And Dr. Blowheart says the same thing.
00:31:17He's right. Girl cannot be scientist.
00:31:20But I thought you...
00:31:22Only woman can be scientist.
00:31:24Blowheart's on. No, I mean Richard. I mean Dr. Blowheart.
00:31:31I'll never be accepted as a real nuclear physicist without him.
00:31:36Shirley Gurley, where are you? Pick up. I need you.
00:31:39Pick up. I need you.
00:31:45Let's see.
00:31:47Attack.
00:31:51Disasters.
00:31:53Monsters.
00:31:55Hollywood.
00:31:56Ah, we don't have a budget for that.
00:31:58Well, Pentagon.
00:32:04Pentagon.
00:32:05Yes, this is Dr. Richard Blowheart, legendary nuclear business...
00:32:08Call, please.
00:32:09Wait. I don't think you realize who you're talking to.
00:32:11Maybe to Fort Wayne. Let me play amongst the board.
00:32:15Hey, let me see what love is like in Peoria and Des Moines.
00:32:20Sorry, Satanists again. They wanted the pentagram. You're dying.
00:32:25Yes, I need to speak to the head of the U.S. Armed Forces.
00:32:27Yeah, well, the head and the feet and even those useless little hairs that you get in your ears of the armed forces are all in a meeting.
00:32:35Some kind of kerfuffling Cuba.
00:32:37Look, I happen to be head of atomic testes for all of Southwest Ohio. Ego, I...
00:32:42Putting you through.
00:32:43What? To who?
00:32:56Try changing the filter.
00:32:57What?
00:32:58This is Dr. Richard Blowheart. Who's this?
00:33:00Dr. Richard Blowheart?
00:33:01No, I am. Who is this really?
00:33:03This is...
00:33:04Four-star Brigadier General Dirk Bogus.
00:33:07Brigadier General?
00:33:08No, Brigadier General. I'm head of military refrigeration for all of Southwestern Ohio. Very strategic.
00:33:16Oh. Well, I need to speak to whoever's in charge.
00:33:21Hello?
00:33:23Hello?
00:33:26Cuba.
00:33:27Yes.
00:33:30And that would be me.
00:33:31Ah, I see.
00:33:32Well, we have a little monster problem. Make that a big monster problem with serious flatulence.
00:33:38Ego, we're gonna need some ginormous firepower. And some legendary heroic action.
00:33:44Yes!
00:33:46What?
00:33:47I'll round up the firepower.
00:33:48Right.
00:33:49I'll bring the bean dip.
00:33:56Ciao, baby.
00:33:57Kenny?
00:33:58Uncle Dirk?
00:33:59You still wanna be a filmmaker?
00:34:01Ohhhh!
00:34:02Dude!
00:34:03I thought you were gonna wipe out on that last curl, but you totally slotted it!
00:34:10That's totally gonna be a thing!
00:34:15You're gonna score yourself boo-koop-brew, dude!
00:34:19Don't OD, you party animal!
00:34:25Oh, man!
00:34:26The dino shreds!
00:34:27You brought the tripod, right?
00:34:28Please, Uncle B, does Francois Troffaut forget his tripod?
00:34:29Ah!
00:34:30Colonel Stickler!
00:34:31Ah!
00:34:32Colonel Stickler!
00:34:33Uh, what's our firepower?
00:34:3417 tanks, 13 rocket launchers, and a dozen fighter jets?
00:34:35Oh, no.
00:34:36No!
00:34:37No!
00:34:38No!
00:34:39No!
00:34:40No!
00:34:41No!
00:34:42No!
00:34:43No!
00:34:44No!
00:34:45No!
00:34:46No!
00:34:47No!
00:34:48No!
00:34:49No!
00:34:50No!
00:34:51No!
00:34:52No!
00:34:53No!
00:34:54No!
00:34:55No!
00:34:56No!
00:34:57No!
00:34:58No!
00:34:59No!
00:35:00No!
00:35:01No!
00:35:02No!
00:35:03No!
00:35:04No!
00:35:05No!
00:35:06No!
00:35:07No!
00:35:08No!
00:35:09No!
00:35:10No!
00:35:11No!
00:35:12No!
00:35:13No!
00:35:14No!
00:35:15No!
00:35:16No!
00:35:17No!
00:35:18No!
00:35:19No!
00:35:20No!
00:35:21No!
00:35:22No!
00:35:23No!
00:35:24No!
00:35:25No!
00:35:26No!
00:35:27No!
00:35:28No!
00:35:29and my co-star i'm sorry sir dinosaur darn it oh he's been spotted a mile away how's the light
00:35:37kenny warm sanguine perfect contrast to the impending carnage but we gotta roll now or
00:35:48we're gonna lose our irony you heard him cue talent cue irony but i can't just right sir
00:35:55colonel mustard fire a rocket volley to draw the uh talent's attention yes sir closer it was an
00:36:03ironic sang sang sanguine sanguine morning when dirk bogus four-star general
00:36:13four when dirk bogus faced the monster from the pit pittsburgh no
00:36:22general bogus he's here and i think he's seen us
00:36:27yes he definitely has excellent action rocket launchers now
00:36:36he's bouncing them around as if they were nothing but toys
00:36:41bouncing them around as if they were nothing but toys what about the soldier if the rockets can't stop
00:37:08him i don't see how bullets use bigger bullets fire man
00:37:12how's it look kenny hideous surreal kafka-esque good fear people sir the jets are here
00:37:26he got us we got him and now he's heading for cincinnati we must go there immediately
00:37:43right sir and develop this footage
00:37:45i'm here to save the hello
00:37:55good evening a huge imported monster broke through our dookie defense today and is believed to be headed
00:38:12towards cincinnati oh lovely fuchsia sunrise general oh thanks thanks uh i call it sanguine
00:38:21is it true you plan to capture the monster not just capture him i want to capture it i want to cap
00:38:28his essence i want to capture his essence the darkness that lives inside each one of us the primal yearning
00:38:37in other news took 336 sold a record number of thin mints this week
00:38:43i will save you
00:38:45i will crush you
00:38:48shirley no it's bogus what is i am no kidding you said 8 a.m i show up 10 minutes late 10 minutes and no one's there
00:39:01right so listen this is a little embarrassing but uh well we had a little trouble with your monster today and well now all the stores are closed and amazon hasn't
00:39:09been invented yet so i was wondering if you had any super secret atomic weapons flying around
00:39:16well i'd have to look around and see if
00:39:20why yes of course what was i thinking we have a super secret atomic weapon here
00:39:28so we'd have to build a full-scale version of it or get down low and look up
00:39:32you know how when you get down really low and you look up at something it's like oh wow it's so big
00:39:38great can you bring it too oh no you don't bogus boy i operate this baby myself i'm the hero here
00:39:45well i hope it backfires in your face mr poopy face that's doctor mr poopy face to you
00:39:52hello my name is ichihiro honda you kill my monster prepare did she
00:40:02ichi you are not a true man papa-san please i cannot be you
00:40:13ichi you'll never be a real man
00:40:15lohat-san please i cannot
00:40:18ichi do not call me ichi i am hero
00:40:23i wish i did not skip karate class in high school now
00:40:30ichi you look so calm so clean shaven
00:40:41zen really wow listen i know things have been strained between us strained we're talking baby
00:40:50poop it's time to quit pussyfooting around and kill that pet iguana of yours it's a threat to mankind
00:40:55you are right to mankind it's ugly and gassy you are ugly and gassy it's a toy truck dressed in pink polka dotted pantaloons you are toy trucking what
00:41:04ha made you stay oh wow you're just so immature can't believe i ever like let you hang out with me
00:41:14listen to us
00:41:15you're right i don't have time for this i have a super secret uber vision mega blaster to build
00:41:21what is this blaster it's a nuclear cannon that shoots 200 radioactive rays
00:41:27with more firepower than the entire peloponnesian wars or one of those wars and this is safe
00:41:33it'll leave a radioactive cloud over cincinnati for about 50 years but after that you'll never even
00:41:37know it was there anyway it's for my it's for their own good you are completely crazy person
00:41:44real men kill itchy no babasan of who
00:41:54why did i skip karate class wait i win fifth grade composition contest
00:42:02warning i have black belt in haiku haiku isn't that japanese poetry yes
00:42:11yes and is devastating when delivered by field grade master
00:42:18each falling leaf is like a butterfly whose life has reached conclusion
00:42:25why does my old dog who has no eyes see more than i shall ever see
00:42:33god i love dogs
00:42:35the boy stood on the burning deck how many summers shall leave before the winter stays forevermore
00:42:48is about death i know i just figured that out
00:42:53listen my children and you shall hear of the midnight ride of warrior storm castle but hearts can only be
00:43:01concurred with arrows of love
00:43:11here i sit broken hearted try
00:43:14i give your words are so sparse and yet so profoundly infused with meaning i will stop you and save
00:43:31let's see
00:43:35fine and i guess we can't be friends finding targets
00:43:48i shall return
00:43:52dr blowheart when we started snuggie you said i'd be a physicist within three months
00:43:57but it's been three years three years and yet i realize i still need you to teach
00:44:03me how to be a real scientist plus you're so insanely handsome
00:44:09please surely girly i'm happy to be your role model but no more of this inappropriate behavior
00:44:15stop stop it stop it first of all i don't need you to be my role model
00:44:21second it's ergo not ego as in let that air go out of your ego and third my last name isn't girly
00:44:28i don't think of you as just a shirley with that girly little giggle of yours and that
00:44:33little lip quiver that you make me do i hate those they're so you you know what you're right
00:44:41i am yeah and i don't think of you as richard either really no you're really more of a dick
00:44:51huh
00:45:05i should go back and apologize but if i don't i'll
00:45:08be more like a girl shirley i am a girl mom and a scientist but he treats me more like
00:45:26like i'm his personal geisha isn't that what you are no i could never look at myself like that
00:45:32you are not a true man what who are you sorry wrong mirror
00:45:43larry i told you i don't want to professor
00:45:47hero i was just talking to your father yes because i kick him out of my reflection would
00:45:54you like a glass of dinosaur pee tonight eight and a half samurai is on public service television
00:46:03it is sequel to my favorite movie oh well good i could use a break from destroying my career
00:46:09tomorrow i face certain death as my personal geisha you will comfort me
00:46:20you smell like a sumo wrestler so you will take a bath you will bathe me little lotus bottom no
00:46:30and it is lotus blossom stop it this is my fantasy why do i always have to translate everything that you
00:46:39say oh perhaps it is because we are dubbed no in real life you idiot wait that's why you keep me as
00:46:48your assistant you can't be you without me it doesn't make any sense no it doesn't wait something
00:46:57is off yes you're not your true self who's not your true self you're not i'm not no you're not stop it
00:47:10no you stop it what how did i get here and where is here oh downtown
00:47:30ew helpless girl scream stop it
00:47:35early bad monster no
00:47:44hero no you can't stop him alone i'll help you but first i have to be my true self my true self my true
00:47:53my true self my true self my true self wait but it it wasn't a dream you were there
00:48:05and richard was there and an atm and tokyo too tokyo oh wait it was cincinnati
00:48:15what is an atm i have no idea but richard was attacking the city not zill is not the monster
00:48:24richard is this blaster is going to destroy everyone in cincinnati
00:48:31you you called me shirley chan is nickname you give someone you have much feeling for
00:48:37i have much feeling for you too hero but first we have to save not zilla and stop richard
00:48:48but your career oh i'll worry about that in the sequel but right now i have to be my true self
00:48:54yes yes but how beer has made his cells blow up i tried to unify his cells and return him to his true
00:49:02size to make formula for reverse b but so far i fail i need catalyst fusion my theory for warm fusion
00:49:12fusion holds stars together did you know that and people too before i thought i have no power but now
00:49:21i think i do
00:49:32i really like this warm fusion me too
00:50:02so
00:50:14so
00:50:16so
00:50:22so
00:50:30Do you know what time it is?
00:50:53You have to help me save the world.
00:50:56We have only one day left.
00:50:58Ach, mein Auslander.
00:51:01I have this book too.
00:51:03But I got stuck on the last chapter.
00:51:06This is last chapter.
00:51:08Well, it's about time.
00:51:12This must be ready.
00:51:14By tomorrow.
00:51:15Tomorrow?
00:51:16Without testing?
00:51:17Uffta!
00:51:18There are 200 plutonium rods in that barrel.
00:51:21If they aim uncontrollably...
00:51:23Aura, aura!
00:51:24Come on, Lars!
00:51:25It's Bjorn, and I'm not from Sweden.
00:51:27Hey, who was nominated for the Nobel war prize, huh?
00:51:30There's a Nobel war prize?
00:51:32I am missing eight and a half samurai.
00:51:36Why do we have to do this?
00:51:38My heart broke when midwestern hayride went off.
00:51:40So we can kill that beer-stealing iguana and introduce the world to my uberfission power!
00:51:46That's why!
00:51:48Oh, yeah.
00:51:49And so you don't lose your jobs right before Christmas.
00:51:52It's August.
00:51:53Ah, which is Christmas in Sweden, right, Bjork?
00:51:56We will build it, I promise.
00:51:58Oh, manly stubble-faced leader.
00:52:00And it will be the best uberfission mega-blaster ever.
00:52:04Well, yeah, because it's the only...
00:52:06It's the only...
00:52:27It's the only...
00:52:38He'll never get past this field!
00:52:40There he is, sir!
00:52:42What did you get, Ms. Kenny?
00:52:43Like a match to celluloid.
00:52:45Hmm.
00:52:46You idiot!
00:52:47I told you to mine the field.
00:52:49Mine the field!
00:52:51Mine the field!
00:52:58Hero?
00:52:59Richard?
00:53:00It's me, Pearl.
00:53:01You're not gonna believe what I discovered about blowfish.
00:53:04But I can't tell you on the phone because that would undercut the dramatic buildup.
00:53:09So get over to Gus's now.
00:53:12What's that?
00:53:13What's that?
00:53:14I don't know.
00:53:15I don't know.
00:53:16But I can't tell you on the phone because that would undercut the dramatic buildup.
00:53:19So get over to Gus's now.
00:53:21Ooh!
00:53:22Ooh!
00:53:23Ooh!
00:53:24Ooh!
00:53:27Ooh!
00:53:28Ooh!
00:53:29Ooh!
00:53:30Ooh!
00:53:31Ooh!
00:53:32Ooh!
00:53:33Ooh!
00:53:34Ooh!
00:53:35Ooh!
00:53:36Ooh!
00:53:37Ooh!
00:53:38Ooh!
00:53:39Ooh!
00:53:40Ooh!
00:53:41Ooh!
00:53:42I've missed a ways to kill Richard.
00:53:43You're gonna like him even less when you hear this.
00:53:45I'm guessing you'll be looking for a job.
00:53:48As a woman nuclear physicist?
00:53:50Oh, I understand.
00:53:51Me?
00:53:52I got a double glass ceiling.
00:53:53I'm a woman and...
00:53:55I'm from New Jersey.
00:53:56Well, what can you tell me that I don't already loathe about Richard Blowheart?
00:54:00Not much, since he died April 1st of 1945.
00:54:03What?
00:54:04In Lichtenstein, testing his uberfission megablaster.
00:54:08The entire research center went wiggy wiggy kaboonga schlock.
00:54:12The only other survivor was Blowheart Chauffeur.
00:54:19Breathe, honey.
00:54:21He's having the team build a megablaster.
00:54:23Yeah, I know.
00:54:24You know?
00:54:25Yep.
00:54:26Just like I know you're about to say.
00:54:27I have to stop him.
00:54:28And Hiro has to save Natsula.
00:54:30And I've gotta tell the world about it.
00:54:37Bring up your rear.
00:54:39Now fall back.
00:54:40This is it, man.
00:54:41Our last bastard of defense.
00:54:42Bastion.
00:54:43Last bastard of Bastion.
00:54:44If the monster makes it into the city, we face impossible odds.
00:54:47One-way streets, rush hour traffic.
00:54:48Sir, the creature is approaching.
00:54:49If we fail to stop him here, there'll be more bloodshed.
00:54:50And I, four-star General Dirk Bogus, simply will not allow that to happen.
00:54:55Actually, sir, no one has died.
00:54:56It's almost as if the monster were just playing.
00:54:58Not on my watch.
00:54:59Not on my watch.
00:55:00Not on my watch.
00:55:01Is the grid ready?
00:55:02Yes, sir.
00:55:03Just turned it on.
00:55:04Two thousand kilowatts and no mimes in sight.
00:55:06He'll look like fried Gettah the second he touches him.
00:55:08He'll look like fried Gettah the second he touches him in the air.
00:55:10No, no, no, no, no.
00:55:11No, no, no, no.
00:55:13No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:55:23He'll look like fried getter the second he touches that t-towel.
00:55:27There he is!
00:55:29Wait, where did that blimp come from?
00:55:53He likes it!
00:56:09Ha! I knew it!
00:56:11My team is finishing my uber-fission mega blaster even as we speak.
00:56:16Ego...
00:56:18Ergo...
00:56:19I'm the one to end this massive bloodshed once and for all.
00:56:23You and whose army?
00:56:25There hasn't been any actual bloodshed.
00:56:27Shut up!
00:56:28Wait, listen.
00:56:31What? I don't hear anything.
00:56:32That's just it.
00:56:35Ha! I always wanted to say that.
00:56:49Ooh!
00:56:53Oof!
00:56:57Oof!
00:57:00What's that?
00:57:04What's that?
00:57:19Relax. It's just a cat.
00:57:24You want a cigarette?
00:57:25Sure.
00:57:28Got a light?
00:57:34Thanks.
00:57:38Hey, Andy, come here.
00:57:39What is it, Marty?
00:57:41Why do they always do that?
00:57:42They always get out of the car.
00:57:43For no reason.
00:57:44Yeah, exactly.
00:57:45And then they run.
00:57:46For no reason.
00:57:47And then they fall down.
00:57:49For no reason.
00:57:51Exactly.
00:57:52Oh, great.
00:57:53And then I fall down.
00:57:55And then there's a monster.
00:57:59And the monster always comes and picks him up.
00:58:01Oh, no, wait, Marty.
00:58:03Look, that's a doll.
00:58:04You're right, it is.
00:58:06No, no, no, wait.
00:58:07Look, look, look.
00:58:08This is our...
00:58:09Oh.
00:58:10Yeah.
00:58:11Now I know how Faye Ray felt.
00:58:17You like it?
00:58:18It's called Ode to Terror.
00:58:20Oh, is that more beer?
00:58:23Great.
00:58:24More beer.
00:58:26He must be 160 feet tall by now.
00:58:30They grow up so fast.
00:58:33Marty, go get the marshmallows.
00:58:38Hey, no.
00:58:39Wait, bad dinosaur.
00:58:41Bad Notzilla.
00:58:42That's right.
00:58:42You heard me, didn't you?
00:58:44You did.
00:58:44Mama Notzilla says no.
00:58:46Yes, she does.
00:58:47Little tiny Mama Notzilla says no.
00:58:50Now, throw that thing away.
00:58:51You don't know where it's been.
00:58:54Oh, no, no.
00:58:55Wrong hand.
00:58:55Wrong hand.
00:58:56The other hand.
00:58:58The other hand.
00:59:00That's right, honey.
00:59:03Oh, ooh.
00:59:16Let's go.
00:59:17Let's go.
00:59:17Let's really go.
00:59:19Push him back.
00:59:19Push him back.
00:59:20Way back.
00:59:21Where are the tanks?
00:59:23Stuck in traffic.
00:59:24There he is.
00:59:39Hey.
00:59:41He's turning around.
00:59:42We're safe.
00:59:45Late.
00:59:45It's not so much the fire, I mind.
00:59:52That's where it comes from.
00:59:54Exactly.
00:59:55No.
00:59:56Bad Notzilla.
00:59:57Bad.
00:59:58Put the fire out, honey.
01:00:00Oh.
01:00:10That's better.
01:00:11We can't let them hurt you, baby.
01:00:14So, go to your room.
01:00:16Go to the hills.
01:00:17The hills.
01:00:18Only put Mama down first.
01:00:23Go, baby.
01:00:24Go.
01:00:36Like I told General Doofus.
01:00:39Bogus.
01:00:39He certainly is.
01:00:41Now, the big wigs are busy.
01:00:43Well, who's the biggest wig left?
01:00:45Putting you through.
01:00:47This is General Specifics.
01:00:50Holy moly.
01:00:51That is so great.
01:00:52What?
01:00:52I haven't said anything yet.
01:00:54I just read the subtitle.
01:00:55I'm sorry.
01:00:56How can I help you?
01:00:57We have a situation here in Cincinnati.
01:01:00I have tickets to the ballet.
01:01:02I will ask Dr. Blorat to join me.
01:01:06You'll never make it.
01:01:07And why is that, Monsieur Gauche?
01:01:09Because we got a ticket to the moon right there.
01:01:12I'm leaving for Houston at 5.23 p.m.
01:01:15I'm flying to Stockholm, Sweden at 2.45.
01:01:18Just kidding.
01:01:20Minneapolis, don't you know?
01:01:21Oh, now I know the world's gonna end.
01:01:23Block made a funny.
01:01:25Oh, you of little faith.
01:01:27Our brilliant leader would know.
01:01:29Oh, yes, he would.
01:01:31What?
01:01:32The real Dr. Blowhardt went kaboonga schlott in 1945.
01:01:37Our Richard is the former child actor, Donnie Draper, star of the Dougie Dougwood boy genius
01:01:43serials.
01:01:44But no, I love those.
01:01:45Donnie Draper is why I became a physicist.
01:01:47I swore one day I would marry him.
01:01:50He's French.
01:01:51Uh-huh.
01:01:52Oof, darling.
01:01:53I could tell Donnie Draper didn't understand a word he said.
01:01:56And now Cincinnati's gonna go kaboonga schlott if we don't keep this third-grade tetherball
01:02:00champ away from that.
01:02:01I always used to break that little rope where the ball would angle from, but never play it.
01:02:05I don't believe it.
01:02:06Are you saying one of us is not what they claim to be?
01:02:09Oh, for cute.
01:02:10How could we have missed it?
01:02:12But our jobs...
01:02:13We'll be toast, yes.
01:02:15But please, disarm the blaster before...
01:02:18We have to stop letting him define us.
01:02:21We are not his personal geishas.
01:02:23You had me?
01:02:24Until geisha.
01:02:25Who put this crazy narcissist in charge?
01:02:35Why, Dave?
01:02:36Oh, I know.
01:02:37You'll say they did.
01:02:38But who is they?
01:02:40They is us.
01:02:42We are all to blame.
01:02:45Right.
01:02:46Thanks.
01:02:49This is what he does to people.
01:02:52Oh, no.
01:02:53This is uber-fishing.
01:02:55A real leader doesn't push people apart, but he brings them together and empowers them.
01:03:08He helps them find their true selves.
01:03:15Kumbaya, my lord.
01:03:19Kumbaya.
01:03:20Kumbaya.
01:03:22Huh?
01:03:22I got buckets.
01:03:23Kumbaya.
01:03:29What is this?
01:03:31The formula for warm fusion.
01:03:33It incorporates all of your notes.
01:03:34Oh, my lord.
01:03:35Oh, my lord.
01:03:36I filed the patent in your names.
01:03:38Huh?
01:03:39Hello, sir.
01:03:48He vive vegetables.
01:03:54Oh, my lord.
01:03:54Oh, my lord.
01:03:55Oh, my lord.
01:03:55Oh, my lord.
01:03:56Oh, my lord.
01:03:58Oh, my lord.
01:04:03Oh, my lord.
01:04:04Line those tanks up.
01:04:20Keep those cards and letters coming in.
01:04:22General Bulger, sir, we're ready.
01:04:24The moment that monster shows up...
01:04:26No, we have to wait for...
01:04:27What's it called again?
01:04:28Magic Hour.
01:04:29We can't wait.
01:04:31It'll be disastrous.
01:04:32It'll be gorgeous.
01:04:33Where will my face look best?
01:04:35I'd rather not save, sir.
01:04:38All right, Snuggies.
01:04:39Pull the tarp on.
01:04:41Gorgeous.
01:04:43Now point it toward the city.
01:04:44But the monster will be coming from...
01:04:45Drama, people.
01:04:46It's all about drama.
01:04:48Wind rustling hair.
01:04:50Check.
01:04:51Sun glinting off a manly stubble.
01:04:53Check.
01:04:54You!
01:04:56Ignore him!
01:04:57I'm in charge here!
01:04:59Without my tank...
01:05:00Without my blaster...
01:05:01The world faces certain...
01:05:03Dookie.
01:05:05Poop?
01:05:06How did that get here?
01:05:08Notzilla, sir.
01:05:09Nonsense.
01:05:10There'd be a lot more of it.
01:05:11No!
01:05:12Notzilla!
01:05:13Half a mile away!
01:05:14Initiate dramatic finale build-up.
01:05:38Oui, mon capitan.
01:05:39Well, so much for being accepted as a real scientist.
01:06:05Or saving Cincinnati.
01:06:06Charlie, where's Hiro? We can't do this without him.
01:06:10Who wants chili?
01:06:12I do.
01:06:14Now or never, Uncle B.
01:06:16Wait, man, get back on camera.
01:06:18I mean, back in strategic positions.
01:06:29Fifty years, tops. I mean, it would be the city that glows.
01:06:33General Bogan, Godzilla's coming.
01:06:36Oh, my precious.
01:06:49Oh, I've been there.
01:06:50Uh-huh.
01:06:51You're all fired.
01:06:53Now we know what you meant by unlimited power.
01:06:56Took us breath.
01:06:57You don't give beer to a lizard, Donnie.
01:07:00Well, how did you look?
01:07:01And I'm not Swedish, you imbecile.
01:07:03And I'm not white, either.
01:07:05Dr. Block, you're black?
01:07:08How could you?
01:07:09Oh, where's my...
01:07:11Oh, Shirley.
01:07:12At least I can count on my girl.
01:07:14Woman!
01:07:15Scientist!
01:07:16Aw, I'm sorry.
01:07:20Is that inappropriate?
01:07:22Now, where's that little giggle I love?
01:07:26I love it when you do that.
01:07:28It's so you.
01:07:33It's our honor, Dr. Ugest.
01:07:35Notzilla is here!
01:07:36How sweet.
01:07:47He brought me a bouquet of trees.
01:07:50Fire!
01:07:52Fire!
01:07:52Go away, baby.
01:07:54Go away.
01:07:55Yeah, no.
01:07:56Go on, baby.
01:07:57It's okay.
01:07:58No, it's okay.
01:07:58Go.
01:07:59Go.
01:07:59Go.
01:07:59Go.
01:07:59Go.
01:08:00Go.
01:08:00Go.
01:08:00Go.
01:08:00Go.
01:08:01Go.
01:08:02Go.
01:08:03Go.
01:08:03Go.
01:08:04Go.
01:08:04Go.
01:08:04Go.
01:08:04Go.
01:08:05Go.
01:08:05Go.
01:08:05It works?
01:08:08Hi.
01:08:09Hi.
01:08:15Okay, baby.
01:08:15Little gaiju.
01:08:16Mama, that's all I said.
01:08:17It's okay.
01:08:17Just this time.
01:08:18It's petting all time.
01:08:19It's here.
01:08:20Right here, baby.
01:08:20Come on, baby.
01:08:21Okay?
01:08:21Come on.
01:08:22Nutella.
01:08:23Come on, baby.
01:08:23Little gaiju.
01:08:24Come on.
01:08:24Come on.
01:08:33No.
01:08:33No.
01:08:33No.
01:08:33No.
01:08:33No.
01:08:33No.
01:08:34No.
01:08:34No.
01:08:34No.
01:08:34No.
01:08:35No.
01:08:36No.
01:09:01No.
01:09:01No.
01:09:03No.
01:09:04No.
01:09:04No.
01:09:04No.
01:09:05No.
01:09:05Ate too, Boutet.
01:09:12You lied.
01:09:14I ate you, Richard.
01:09:21I love you, dummy.
01:09:29Boutet's a woman.
01:09:31Now I feel better about looking at her.
01:09:35Just look at you.
01:09:40How could anyone do science when you look like that?
01:09:43Wait, did you actually just say that?
01:09:45Oui.
01:09:46I love you.
01:09:47I must possess you.
01:09:49Okay.
01:09:50You are an imbecile, but you are my imbecile.
01:09:54She's French.
01:09:55Uh-huh.
01:10:05I am sorry.
01:10:10You are a real scientist and a real woman.
01:10:15As are you.
01:10:17And I understand why you did what you did.
01:10:20And I am sorry I have to do this.
01:10:23Love makes one stupid, no?
01:10:26Do what?
01:10:27Only one plutonium rod is working, mon cher.
01:10:41But it is enough for you to kill the creature that has stolen your joy.
01:10:45Stand back, everyone, or I will destroy you.
01:10:52For everyone good, of course.
01:10:54I only want to kill Notzilla.
01:10:55I am Notzilla.
01:11:08I am Notzilla.
01:11:10I am Notzilla.
01:11:11I am totally Notzilla, dude.
01:11:13Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya.
01:11:18Kumbaya.
01:11:19Fine.
01:11:20Then I guess we can be friends.
01:11:22Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya.
01:11:32Kumbaya.
01:11:34Kumbaya.
01:11:35Kumbaya.
01:11:36Kumbaya.
01:11:37Kumbaya.
01:11:38Kumbaya.
01:11:39Kumbaya.
01:11:40Kumbaya.
01:11:43Dr. Shirley, you just?
01:11:57Yes.
01:11:58I'm general specific.
01:11:59Miss Stringer gave me the intel, and the rest I've seen for myself.
01:12:03Dr. Blowfish is no longer fit to head Snuggie.
01:12:06Anyway, his theories are bogus.
01:12:08Sir.
01:12:08Uh, ma'am.
01:12:09Shut up.
01:12:10Can you rebuild the program using your warm fusion?
01:12:13The team says they'll only stay if you're in charge.
01:12:19Yes, ma'am.
01:12:20Professor Honda.
01:12:24If you agree, I have been authorized to install you as head of the Pentagon's new giant monster
01:12:30protection program.
01:12:34Yes, sir, but protection from what?
01:12:38Sequels.
01:12:38Do you have any regrets about adopting?
01:12:50None whatsoever, darling.
01:12:54Sit up straight, honey.
01:12:55Do what your mother says.
01:13:03Funny how you look for happiness, and one day it finds you.
01:13:07Sit up straight, honey.
01:13:09Now, sweetie pie, remember, I used to be a really important person.
01:13:23And you're happy too, my love?
01:13:26Yes.
01:13:27I'm just glad that everyone is finally their true size.
01:13:30Me too.
01:13:35Don't forget your toys, honey.
01:13:41I've been waiting to ask how you feel about having more children.
01:13:46And now seems like a good time.
01:13:49Oh, darling, I don't know how.
01:13:53But how?
01:13:54Um, I never said there was only one.
01:13:59Hey, it's Charlie the Big Cheese Cheeseman on WHAT AM.
01:14:25What?
01:14:26It's not Zillow-y, people.
01:14:28That's right.
01:14:29Everybody's favorite monster is inspiring hits so big I can't stand them.
01:14:34What?
01:14:34First up is Dino Surfin', the breakout new single from Kentucky's number one surf band,
01:14:40Bobby and the Bleach Boys.
01:14:42Well, I didn't own no records and I've never seen a movie.
01:14:46My grandpa said I love you, son, but I think you sure ain't groovy, uh-huh.
01:14:52Stop driving that old tractor boy and parking it in school.
01:14:56It definitely factors into why you're so uncool, uh-huh.
01:15:01You gotta catch a fin and go dino-surfing with me.
01:15:05Groovy, groovy, groovy, groovy, wild nuts a lot.
01:15:08The groove begins when we're dino-surfing with me.
01:15:12Groovy, groovy, groovy, groovy, how not to lie.
01:15:14Once you ride a dino tail, you'll be hanging ten.
01:15:17Every move's a final boy.
01:15:19You'll wonder where you've been all your life.
01:15:24Once Dino moves, he's a combustible machine.
01:15:27Especially if he's had a lot of beer and eats some beans, uh-oh.
01:15:32You gotta, ooh, catch a fin and go dino-surfing with me.
01:15:36Groovy, groovy, groovy, wild nuts a lot.
01:15:39The groove begins when you're dino-surfing with me.
01:15:43Groovy, groovy, groovy, pal nuts a lot.
01:15:54You gotta, ooh, catch a fin and go dino-surfing with me.
01:15:58Groovy, groovy, groovy, wild nuts a lot.
01:16:01The groove begins when you're dino-surfing with me.
01:16:04It's time to make the world a better place, people.
01:16:19What?
01:16:20No, just kidding.
01:16:21Hey, let's crank it up with a hot new single from Dinah and the Sorelles.
01:16:26If you're spilling nothing to it, honey, you'll be on top of it all.
01:16:30Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:16:33If your attitude is altitude, then, baby, you'll tell the story's song.
01:16:37Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:16:40Just lift up your tail and let out a pop.
01:16:43You just can't fail to do a little hop.
01:16:47Then throw up your brawns and do it some more.
01:16:50Dramatic pause.
01:16:52Now, roar.
01:16:55Get your warm up.
01:16:56Your fins, they look like paper dolls.
01:16:58Your zipper comes up to your neck.
01:17:00You're too good to the Nautilus.
01:17:02You're too good to the Nautilus.
01:17:03The part of your original one that's your discotheque.
01:17:06You're too good to the Nautilus.
01:17:09Just lift up your tail and let out a pop.
01:17:13You just can't fail to do a little hop.
01:17:16Then throw up your claws and do it some more.
01:17:20Dramatic pause.
01:17:22Now, roar.
01:17:24Get your warm up.
01:17:26Get your warm up.
01:17:55Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:17:58Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:02Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:05Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:08Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:12Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:12Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:13Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:15Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:17Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:19Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
01:18:21Come on, baby, you're too good to the Nautilus.
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