No sé cómo hablar con mis hijos adolescentes

Evangelizacion Activa

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Transcript

00:00:00Hello, good evening, we are Ricardo González and Laurelena Garza and we are very happy

00:00:19Because of this invitation, we are going to share with you a topic that we find very, very interesting.

00:00:26The issue is that I don't know how to talk to my teenage and young adult children; we have been married for 32 years.

00:00:36We have a daughter who is almost 30 years old and we have been part of the Living in Christ movement for 29 years.

00:00:46It is a community of Christian, Catholic married couples, where we have been very blessed to be able to persevere.

00:00:53These 29 years have been a great time, and we've learned so much within the movement, and above all, the Lord has also given us gifts.

00:01:01the opportunity to serve in different ministries within the same organization, and well, we're not specialists in

00:01:09This topic, however, is because we believe that the experience we have as parents, as spouses, and within the

00:01:17movement because we have been in training areas, which allows us to share some ideas with you

00:01:24And some very important tips on this rather delicate topic, right? What's going on? Let's get into the subject a little bit.

00:01:33Well, we see that there really is a problem; we have to recognize that our children are going to arrive

00:01:42We lived through that inevitable stage that is adolescence, we overcame it, right?

00:01:51Our parents also had to put up with us during our adolescence, and well, what happens?

00:02:00Why? What is this period? Well, it's a transition period between childhood and youth; you have to experience it, right?

00:02:09It's a transition that lasts around 5 to 5 and a half years, usually women start a little younger, right?

00:02:18Around age 11 they are already entering adolescence, boys around 12 or 13 years old, and well

00:02:26After 5 or 5 and a half years, it can be said that this stage of adolescence, this transition stage, has been overcome.

00:02:33And then we reach adolescence. What happens during this stage? Well, communication between children and parents.

00:02:42And the relationship between parents and children is very, very affected; there's a situation of frustration, right?

00:02:50The dad says, well, it's not possible, he doesn't understand me, he doesn't listen to me. What's wrong with that kid, right?

00:02:58who obeyed me, who was very docile, well, that's a completely different person now, isn't it?

00:03:05And what about parents who haven't reached this stage yet, when their children are still small, right?

00:03:11Those who are in childhood believe it will never happen to them, they say no, no, no, my child isn't like that, my child

00:03:17If he listens to me, if he tells me things, if he opens up to me, if there's that kind of feedback, if he obeys

00:03:25No, no, no, no, I want to... I have bad news for you, it's going to happen to everyone, right?

00:03:32There's no child who won't go through that transition; you stop being the superhero, right?

00:03:39You stop being that all-knowing dad, right? The one they put on a pedestal.

00:03:44My dad knows everything, and my mom is the prettiest and the kindest.

00:03:50And suddenly you collapse, right? And from being that superhero you become

00:03:55Well, the supervillain, right? Almost the enemy, right?

00:04:01You don't understand me, you don't get me, you never listen to me, you don't know what's going on

00:04:07Well, it's incredible, so what happens? That communication is seen within discussions, right?

00:04:17We can't have a dialogue, we can't talk, there are constant arguments

00:04:22This brings us sadness, it brings us pain, it brings us this distance, right?

00:04:29Hey, we were really good friends, right? I mean, I got along really well with my daughter.

00:04:34I was doing great with my son, and now it seems like I'm his worst enemy, right?

00:04:39And there's a lot of frustration, a lot of frustration, we feel very frustrated

00:04:45So, we recognize this problem, but what's going on? Why is this crisis happening among teenagers?

00:04:53Why does this situation arise, right? Why does this communication channel collapse?

00:04:59of parents with children at this stage, particularly?

00:05:02Well, looking a little bit at the anthropological aspect of adolescence

00:05:08It's a tremendous process of change.

00:05:13These are physical changes, psychological changes, emotional changes, behavioral changes

00:05:18Everything, everything starts to change in that little person, right?

00:05:22that transitions from childhood to adolescence

00:05:25Puberty is the gateway to adolescence, right?

00:05:30So there are two very important crises within adolescence

00:05:35The first crisis is the identity crisis

00:05:39no gender identity

00:05:41This is what's in fashion

00:05:43No, it's their own identity, right?

00:05:46Who am I? they say, right?

00:05:49Imagine that every day you look in the mirror and start to see yourself differently, right?

00:05:55Their bodies are changing, they are growing

00:05:58her voice is changing, her emotions

00:06:02So, it's an identity crisis, right?

00:06:05Everything starts to change for them.

00:06:07physically, socially, emotionally, intellectually

00:06:12So, well, this is quite groundbreaking, isn't it?

00:06:17So, it all falls apart here, right?

00:06:20And what happens to all those values, those criteria that they already had as children?

00:06:26Well, they're starting to question them, aren't they?

00:06:29It creates a lot of anxiety

00:06:31It's a very difficult time to go through, isn't it?

00:06:35So, when we have a teenage son

00:06:37We really must, therefore, have compassion on him

00:06:41It's a difficult time.

00:06:42Let's remember when we went through it

00:06:45This creates many insecurities

00:06:48They don't accept me, they don't love me as I am

00:06:52They can be beautiful, right?

00:06:55the little ones, the kids

00:06:56and they feel ugly

00:06:58There is a lot of insecurity.

00:07:01They feel like they're not accepted, right?

00:07:03There are many ambivalences

00:07:05They want different things.

00:07:07They don't even know what they want

00:07:09then, identity crisis

00:07:11the other very important crisis they are going through

00:07:14It is the crisis of self-affirmation

00:07:17Suddenly that me, right?

00:07:20that personality that we all have from birth

00:07:23this...

00:07:25and that develops in childhood

00:07:26It looks like it's hatched, right?

00:07:29So, now, really, who am I?

00:07:32TRUE?

00:07:33That's what my parents tell me

00:07:34But what do I think?

00:07:36What do I feel?

00:07:37that's why

00:07:39although sometimes logic

00:07:41tell them it's not okay

00:07:43They want to make their own decisions

00:07:45because they want to say

00:07:46Because I want to do it

00:07:48when I want to do it

00:07:49and the way I want to do it

00:07:51They want to start discovering

00:07:52Who is that "me," right?

00:07:55which has been growing

00:07:57And that it has reached this stage, right?

00:07:58where it begins to be defined

00:08:01then all the values

00:08:03all the teachings

00:08:04that you have given him since childhood

00:08:06Well, that's where they start to be questioned, right?

00:08:09because they want to have

00:08:10this process really of them

00:08:13make their own decisions

00:08:15And not because you taught them.

00:08:17but because they are already deciding to do it

00:08:20or not doing a certain thing, right?

00:08:22so well

00:08:23Well, it's a change.

00:08:25that we need to get to know him

00:08:27We have to accept it

00:08:29And we'll adapt as parents, right?

00:08:32see that they are changing

00:08:34and see how we're going to solve this

00:08:37These crises that will occur

00:08:39communication with teenage children

00:08:42Yeah

00:08:43And here comes the main question.

00:08:47How should I treat him?

00:08:50It turns out that

00:08:51as Laura says

00:08:52we are living through a process

00:08:54I don't know about 12 or 13 years old

00:08:57where my communication with my children

00:08:59It was different

00:09:01because, well, practically

00:09:03I was the king of the house, right?

00:09:04He adjusted

00:09:06to the rules

00:09:07to the recommendations

00:09:08to the ideas

00:09:09from the parents

00:09:10but there comes a time

00:09:12where

00:09:12he

00:09:13it begins to feel

00:09:15the king of the home

00:09:16so

00:09:17a question arises

00:09:19very important

00:09:20to define

00:09:21which one will it be

00:09:22our strategy

00:09:23look

00:09:24one of the mistakes

00:09:25that we commit

00:09:26when

00:09:27when we entered

00:09:28at this stage

00:09:29a stage

00:09:30extremely important

00:09:31in life

00:09:32because

00:09:32if you

00:09:34remember

00:09:35It's in adolescence

00:09:36where they are defined

00:09:38many things

00:09:38of our life

00:09:39many of our friends

00:09:41that maybe

00:09:43with which

00:09:43we begin

00:09:44when we got married

00:09:45They left high school

00:09:47or from high school

00:09:48so

00:09:49It is vital

00:09:50this stage

00:09:51and it is more vital

00:09:53in us

00:09:54know

00:09:54how to communicate

00:09:56with our children

00:09:56And here's the question.

00:09:58Do we need to communicate?

00:10:00as parents

00:10:01or we need to communicate

00:10:02As friends?

00:10:04Yeah?

00:10:05because many times

00:10:06one

00:10:06one considers

00:10:08that the best way

00:10:09to communicate

00:10:10with the children

00:10:11it is therefore

00:10:12from

00:10:12from a certain perspective

00:10:14more than friendship

00:10:15TRUE?

00:10:15we're buddies

00:10:16You're going to tell me

00:10:17I'm going to tell you

00:10:19and

00:10:20and

00:10:20and there is nothing

00:10:21like friendship

00:10:22and

00:10:24And there's some truth to that.

00:10:25TRUE?

00:10:26certainly

00:10:26having a

00:10:28a

00:10:28a communication

00:10:30of friends

00:10:31not bad

00:10:32within a family

00:10:34But let us remember

00:10:36that we

00:10:36our main

00:10:40Their job is like that of parents

00:10:41Yeah?

00:10:42and often

00:10:43the decisions

00:10:45parental

00:10:45They are not entirely

00:10:47equals

00:10:49with a friend's

00:10:50us

00:10:51we as parents

00:10:52Well, we have

00:10:52some responsibilities

00:10:54that the friends

00:10:55They don't have

00:10:55TRUE?

00:10:56us

00:10:57entry

00:10:57Well, we have

00:10:58responsibility

00:10:59to educate them

00:11:00to keep them

00:11:01we have the responsibility

00:11:03to take care of them

00:11:04of your safety

00:11:05to educate them

00:11:07Yeah?

00:11:08things a friend

00:11:09well normally

00:11:10It won't have

00:11:11TRUE?

00:11:12so

00:11:12Yes, we can be friends.

00:11:14But first

00:11:15We must be parents

00:11:16They say

00:11:17a phrase

00:11:18which is better

00:11:19be a good father

00:11:20or a good father

00:11:21because, in the end

00:11:23the good father

00:11:24is the one who

00:11:25that gives to the son

00:11:26what he wants

00:11:27that treats it

00:11:27like a friend

00:11:28that treats it

00:11:29as

00:11:29as he wishes

00:11:31But ultimately

00:11:33that good father

00:11:34it becomes

00:11:35in something

00:11:36harmful

00:11:37for the son

00:11:37It's better to be

00:11:39a good father

00:11:40that a good father

00:11:41because the good father

00:11:43in the end

00:11:44what you are looking for

00:11:45It's the best

00:11:46for his son

00:11:47we who

00:11:48that we come

00:11:49of

00:11:49of a Christian life

00:11:52a life

00:11:52where Christ

00:11:54It's ours

00:11:54our axis

00:11:55because we know

00:11:56What are the responsibilities?

00:11:58from a father

00:11:59TRUE?

00:12:00and the primary responsibility

00:12:02is

00:12:02It is to bring them to God

00:12:04as friends

00:12:05well maybe

00:12:06a friend

00:12:07does not know

00:12:07still that

00:12:08so

00:12:09I do recommend it

00:12:11that your communication

00:12:12is based

00:12:13in being a good father

00:12:15and not a good father

00:12:17and how it should be

00:12:19communication

00:12:20with our children

00:12:21Well

00:12:21well

00:12:22Well, we see

00:12:22that

00:12:23that within

00:12:24of those

00:12:24five years

00:12:26six years

00:12:27that normally

00:12:27goes

00:12:28it will last

00:12:29adolescence

00:12:30because we must

00:12:31of being

00:12:32cunning

00:12:34wise men

00:12:35in order to be able to

00:12:36identify

00:12:37how to speak

00:12:38with our children

00:12:39depending

00:12:39of the situation

00:12:40that it be presented

00:12:42us

00:12:43we recognize

00:12:45And this is not

00:12:46properly

00:12:47a study

00:12:48this

00:12:49psychological

00:12:50not at all

00:12:51but we

00:12:51we recognize

00:12:52that

00:12:52that exist

00:12:53four ways

00:12:54in which

00:12:55us

00:12:56we would recommend

00:12:56from a personal perspective

00:12:57that we can

00:12:59communicate

00:12:59with our children

00:13:00OK

00:13:01at the moment

00:13:02that it be presented

00:13:03there are

00:13:04in these

00:13:05four ways

00:13:06in which

00:13:08in the end

00:13:09what we are looking for

00:13:10It is love

00:13:11us

00:13:12as

00:13:12as a father

00:13:13our

00:13:14major

00:13:15tool

00:13:16work

00:13:17It is love

00:13:18TRUE?

00:13:19We are Christians

00:13:20and we know

00:13:20that

00:13:20that from

00:13:21of love

00:13:22everything happens

00:13:23so

00:13:23within those

00:13:24this

00:13:25within love

00:13:26We recommend

00:13:27these four ways

00:13:28the way

00:13:29affective

00:13:30It's a way

00:13:31which is more

00:13:32based

00:13:33in feelings

00:13:34We'll get to them in a bit.

00:13:35Let's look at the details

00:13:36we also see

00:13:37the way

00:13:38effective

00:13:39which is already a way

00:13:40already more

00:13:41this

00:13:41more agree

00:13:43to one

00:13:44an education

00:13:45TRUE?

00:13:46an education

00:13:46where

00:13:47where the father

00:13:48take responsibility

00:13:50then comes

00:13:51an illustrative

00:13:52which is a

00:13:53a communication

00:13:55already more

00:13:56in a way

00:13:56teaching

00:13:57and later

00:13:59and the most

00:14:00common

00:14:00of all

00:14:00communications

00:14:01would be

00:14:02communication

00:14:03superficial

00:14:04TRUE?

00:14:05these four

00:14:06ways

00:14:07They are different

00:14:08but they are

00:14:08complementary

00:14:10It is important

00:14:11that there is

00:14:11of this

00:14:12of these four

00:14:14guys

00:14:14that exist

00:14:15within the

00:14:16communication

00:14:16parents

00:14:17and children

00:14:17teenagers

00:14:18because all

00:14:19are necessary

00:14:20the first

00:14:21of them

00:14:22Let's see

00:14:22the detail

00:14:23It is communication

00:14:24affective

00:14:25This communication

00:14:27well it is

00:14:27like the one from

00:14:28a communication

00:14:29with a friend

00:14:30It is based

00:14:31in empathy

00:14:32and we're not going

00:14:34to issue

00:14:34a trial

00:14:35how is

00:14:36This communication

00:14:37affective?

00:14:38first

00:14:39she decides

00:14:40the teenager

00:14:41she decides

00:14:42the son

00:14:42He will decide

00:14:44when he wants to talk

00:14:45What does he want to talk to you about?

00:14:46and at the moment

00:14:48that he wants

00:14:49TRUE?

00:14:50and how much

00:14:51He wants to talk to you

00:14:52how much

00:14:52they want to open

00:14:53you don't decide

00:14:54you

00:14:55it is decided

00:14:55he

00:14:56or she

00:14:56TRUE?

00:14:57When will it happen?

00:14:58To decide?

00:14:59normally

00:14:59He's going to do it

00:15:00at the moment

00:15:01more inopportune

00:15:02imagine

00:15:04I don't know

00:15:04the mothers

00:15:05TRUE?

00:15:05one of those

00:15:06afternoon

00:15:06busy

00:15:07that you had

00:15:07several laps

00:15:08quotes

00:15:09and so on

00:15:09and?

00:15:10have

00:15:11a dinner

00:15:12probably

00:15:13They're going to go

00:15:14visits

00:15:14is going to

00:15:15your mother-in-law

00:15:15your father-in-law

00:15:16I don't know

00:15:16And you're in a hurry

00:15:18making dinner

00:15:19and you say

00:15:19Quick, right?

00:15:20I'll stand here

00:15:20I'll make dinner quickly.

00:15:21because I already committed

00:15:23with my husband

00:15:23at eight

00:15:24sharp

00:15:24to have dinner

00:15:25list

00:15:25and goes into the kitchen

00:15:27your daughter

00:15:28your teenage son

00:15:29and tells you

00:15:31mother

00:15:32this

00:15:32What do you think?

00:15:33notice that

00:15:34this

00:15:35last Friday

00:15:36that you took me

00:15:37to that party

00:15:38And then you tell him

00:15:39Yes, what happened?

00:15:40TRUE?

00:15:40And you continue making dinner

00:15:41Well, you know what?

00:15:43The parents left

00:15:45and we were left alone

00:15:47and so they took out

00:15:49some drinks

00:15:50and then

00:15:51you

00:15:52as well as that

00:15:53they get tangled up

00:15:54hands

00:15:54TRUE?

00:15:55and instead of wanting

00:15:56continue making dinner

00:15:57you say

00:15:58Oh dear!

00:15:59what's happening?

00:16:00TRUE?

00:16:00and you stop making dinner

00:16:02and you turn around

00:16:03and you tell him

00:16:03Well

00:16:03And did you take any?

00:16:04And how much did you take?

00:16:05And what did you take?

00:16:06TRUE?

00:16:07No

00:16:07Well, it tells you

00:16:08the son

00:16:08or the daughter

00:16:09did you know?

00:16:10forget it

00:16:10this

00:16:11you always go out

00:16:12with the same

00:16:12I didn't even take it

00:16:13I can't talk to you

00:16:15And that's where it ended.

00:16:17What should you do?

00:16:18when they

00:16:19open

00:16:20this way

00:16:21And they start telling you

00:16:22you must

00:16:23hear

00:16:25Hey Mom

00:16:26that at the party

00:16:27They brought out the drinks.

00:16:28You're going to continue

00:16:28making dinner

00:16:29although inside

00:16:31feel that you want

00:16:32ask a thousand questions

00:16:33and as if nothing had happened

00:16:35was happening

00:16:36Oh yes

00:16:36What else

00:16:38TRUE?

00:16:38and if

00:16:39nothing else

00:16:40monosyllables

00:16:41TRUE?

00:16:42uh-huh

00:16:42little by little

00:16:44TRUE?

00:16:45and let them go

00:16:46all

00:16:46TRUE?

00:16:47Because that is the moment

00:16:49they decided

00:16:50open

00:16:51they decided

00:16:51tell you that

00:16:52How much are they going to tell you?

00:16:54They decided it

00:16:55you don't intervene

00:16:57you hear nothing more

00:16:59look

00:17:00very good

00:17:01what's happening?

00:17:03when they

00:17:04They tell you like this

00:17:05that open

00:17:06which is not always

00:17:07TRUE?

00:17:07Then you have to take advantage of it

00:17:08because that's where

00:17:09You'll get to know them.

00:17:10you'll get to know

00:17:11what they are going through

00:17:12How are your friends?

00:17:13what are they experiencing

00:17:15what problems do they have

00:17:17you are going to

00:17:18obviously

00:17:19Something will click for you.

00:17:20to say

00:17:20today

00:17:21I need to correct this

00:17:22TRUE?

00:17:23I have to do it

00:17:24a comment on this

00:17:25I mean

00:17:25not just

00:17:26You're going to hear

00:17:26then

00:17:27Yeah

00:17:28You're just going to hear

00:17:29the next day

00:17:31that thing that made you click

00:17:32that thing you're saying

00:17:34It needs to be corrected

00:17:35We need to teach

00:17:36You're going to tell him

00:17:37You know what, my little girl?

00:17:39yesterday when you told me

00:17:40what happened at the party

00:17:42I wanted to tell you

00:17:43that looks

00:17:44I don't see it as a good thing.

00:17:45Therefore

00:17:46on the other hand

00:17:46I see this risk

00:17:47be careful

00:17:48I do it because I love you

00:17:50and that's it

00:17:51but you didn't truncate

00:17:53communication

00:17:54communication

00:17:55affective

00:17:55it was given

00:17:56He took out his affections

00:17:58She brought out her affections

00:17:59told you

00:18:00what he wanted to tell you

00:18:01and you learn a lot

00:18:03with that

00:18:03TRUE?

00:18:04if you cut short those moments

00:18:06Well, you're going to get lost.

00:18:07tremendous knowledge

00:18:08TRUE?

00:18:08They're going to block each other.

00:18:10That would be the communication

00:18:12affective

00:18:13they decided

00:18:14the moment

00:18:14and they decided

00:18:15what, how much

00:18:16and how

00:18:16They told you about it

00:18:17the second way

00:18:20communication

00:18:21It is communication

00:18:22effective

00:18:23this

00:18:24you as a father

00:18:26you decide

00:18:27When are you going to talk?

00:18:28with them

00:18:28You're going to give it to him

00:18:30an instruction

00:18:32an order

00:18:33It is a communication

00:18:34hierarchical

00:18:35objective

00:18:36clear

00:18:36overwhelming

00:18:38radical

00:18:39You're not going to do it

00:18:41whenever they want

00:18:42You're going to put

00:18:43the moment

00:18:43do not give prior notice

00:18:46because otherwise

00:18:46You're going to have a very bad time.

00:18:48TRUE?

00:18:48if you tell him

00:18:48sonny

00:18:49We'll talk tonight

00:18:50No

00:18:51It's going to hurt tonight.

00:18:52the head

00:18:53the belly

00:18:53They're going to have to prepare

00:18:55tasks

00:18:56study for two exams

00:18:58And they're going to tell you

00:18:58who cannot speak

00:18:59No

00:18:59little son, come here

00:19:00Sit down, my love

00:19:02Let's talk

00:19:03little girl, come here

00:19:04Let's talk

00:19:04This is how it is

00:19:06You can't be late.

00:19:07You can't do this

00:19:08What you did is wrong.

00:19:09and so

00:19:10It is an instruction

00:19:12What are they going to do?

00:19:15They're not going to like it

00:19:16normally

00:19:17They're going to do

00:19:18body language

00:19:20They're going to cross their arms

00:19:21They're going to raise their heads

00:19:22They're going to roll their eyes

00:19:23TRUE?

00:19:24and probably

00:19:25babble something

00:19:26TRUE?

00:19:26as well as

00:19:27Oh my mom

00:19:28I mean

00:19:28Oh my dad

00:19:29oh well

00:19:29You ignore it

00:19:31It seems like they're not looking at you

00:19:33listening

00:19:34if they are listening to you

00:19:35There won't be an answer

00:19:37then

00:19:38Be content if they listen to you

00:19:40TRUE?

00:19:40so

00:19:41This is a communication

00:19:42effective

00:19:43super important

00:19:44in adolescence

00:19:45because it is a

00:19:46an age

00:19:47a stage

00:19:47that we have to manage

00:19:49TRUE?

00:19:50We said it's a crisis

00:19:51if we leave them alone

00:19:53like weathervanes

00:19:53in this crisis

00:19:54They're leaving

00:19:55God knows where

00:19:56TRUE?

00:19:57so

00:19:57It is very important

00:19:59instruct

00:20:00give rules

00:20:01setting limits

00:20:02But it has to be done.

00:20:03in a way

00:20:04effective

00:20:05and then

00:20:06Communication continues

00:20:08illustrative

00:20:09This communication

00:20:10It's very important

00:20:12because it is here

00:20:14where you come to educate

00:20:15the detail

00:20:16It's that the guy

00:20:17of education

00:20:17that we use

00:20:18already with a teenager

00:20:20Well, that's very different.

00:20:21with a child

00:20:22Yeah?

00:20:23or with an adult

00:20:24because it is communication

00:20:26if we remember

00:20:28what Laura said

00:20:29of a little person

00:20:31that he is finding

00:20:32his self

00:20:33a little person

00:20:34that is beginning

00:20:35to realize

00:20:36that

00:20:37that has capabilities

00:20:38to discern

00:20:39which already has

00:20:41many elements

00:20:42for a start

00:20:42to

00:20:43to be defined

00:20:44a trial

00:20:45of his life

00:20:45so

00:20:46in this type

00:20:48communication

00:20:49we have

00:20:50to be very attentive

00:20:52Because at the end of the day

00:20:54And you won't let me lie.

00:20:56us

00:20:57for

00:20:58for

00:20:59accept something

00:21:00we have to

00:21:01first discern it

00:21:02I mean

00:21:03what I'm telling you

00:21:04right now

00:21:05Well, you have to analyze it.

00:21:06for

00:21:07to see if

00:21:08if really

00:21:09Do you agree?

00:21:10with what I'm sharing with you

00:21:11Well

00:21:11in the case of children

00:21:13It's very similar.

00:21:13The thing is, they

00:21:15They don't have them yet.

00:21:16many elements

00:21:17trial

00:21:18And they're already eager to begin.

00:21:19to make judgments

00:21:21That's why many times

00:21:22in adolescence

00:21:22are committed

00:21:23so many mistakes

00:21:25because

00:21:25your life experience

00:21:27It is still very poor

00:21:28your experience with trials

00:21:30is very poor

00:21:30because they come from an age

00:21:32where the parents

00:21:33We gave them almost everything.

00:21:35Let me explain

00:21:36so

00:21:36It is at this moment

00:21:38in this communication

00:21:39illustrative

00:21:40where does one begin to educate

00:21:41but based

00:21:43to life itself

00:21:44that is to say

00:21:45we here

00:21:47We have to start them

00:21:48to do

00:21:48questions

00:21:49from what we are experiencing

00:21:51as a family

00:21:52as a son

00:21:53I don't know

00:21:53maybe you

00:21:54He tells you

00:21:55to your son

00:21:56And you know that

00:21:56We went to a barbecue

00:21:59But you know that

00:21:59were

00:22:00around there

00:22:01passing marijuana

00:22:02some guys

00:22:03what are you doing?

00:22:05rather

00:22:06do that

00:22:07a drama

00:22:08You have to start

00:22:10Give it to him

00:22:11the elements

00:22:12so that he

00:22:13know how to discern

00:22:15if it's correct

00:22:16or it's not correct

00:22:17and begin to question

00:22:18And those friends

00:22:20who are

00:22:20my little one?

00:22:21And how did you see them?

00:22:23And what do you think?

00:22:23What's going to happen?

00:22:25And where do you think?

00:22:26that is coming

00:22:26that guy

00:22:27lifestyle?

00:22:29in such a way

00:22:29that they create

00:22:31that trial

00:22:33that discernment

00:22:34to know

00:22:34good and evil

00:22:35because it doesn't work here anymore

00:22:37is that the one who

00:22:38He takes drugs

00:22:38It's wrong.

00:22:39and he is a sinner

00:22:40That's not going to work

00:22:42because they have

00:22:43other elements

00:22:44with whom they communicate

00:22:46and that also

00:22:47They train them

00:22:48who are his friends

00:22:49TRUE?

00:22:49then you have

00:22:50to begin

00:22:51to use a language

00:22:52according to age

00:22:54that it is having

00:22:54Yeah?

00:22:55then I don't know

00:22:56I mean

00:22:56the same mass

00:22:58when you leave mass

00:22:59hear

00:22:59my son

00:23:00And what did you see?

00:23:01in the gospel?

00:23:02What did you feel?

00:23:03What did you see?

00:23:04what Jesus was doing

00:23:05that we can apply?

00:23:08and themselves

00:23:10they begin to think

00:23:11and they begin

00:23:11to arrive

00:23:12at the conclusion

00:23:13they begin

00:23:14to that search

00:23:14of the truth

00:23:15But one truth

00:23:16thought

00:23:16no, really

00:23:17an imposed truth

00:23:18and about that

00:23:19You can handle it

00:23:20in all areas

00:23:22in the areas

00:23:22study

00:23:23in the sexual areas

00:23:25in the areas

00:23:26I don't know

00:23:27For example

00:23:28right now the ideology

00:23:29gender

00:23:30It's very important

00:23:31that we

00:23:31let's make them see

00:23:32what fruits does it bear

00:23:34those kinds of ideologies

00:23:36TRUE?

00:23:36what fruits does it bear

00:23:37abortion

00:23:38what fruits does it bear

00:23:39all those things

00:23:40that are damaging

00:23:41so much

00:23:41to our society

00:23:43so that at the moment

00:23:44that he has

00:23:45what to take

00:23:46a discernment

00:23:47he already has

00:23:48the elements

00:23:48that you were

00:23:50carrying

00:23:50so that he would have them

00:23:52because from the outset

00:23:53He won't have them

00:23:55TRUE?

00:23:55then this communication

00:23:56It is extremely important

00:23:58in life

00:23:59of teenagers

00:24:01and finally

00:24:02communication is coming

00:24:03superficial

00:24:04where this communication

00:24:06It's the most normal

00:24:07is the

00:24:07the one that normally

00:24:09we handle

00:24:09in everyday life

00:24:11because

00:24:11It's not good.

00:24:13that all the time

00:24:14is being corrected

00:24:15It's not good.

00:24:16that all the time

00:24:17is being educated

00:24:18It's not good.

00:24:18that all the time

00:24:19is being listened to

00:24:20I mean

00:24:21we as parents

00:24:23We also need to

00:24:24understanding reality

00:24:26of our children

00:24:26and in this communication

00:24:28It is a communication

00:24:29more sociable

00:24:30more enjoyable

00:24:31more fun

00:24:32more than a friend

00:24:33because?

00:24:34because I

00:24:35identifying

00:24:36what are the things

00:24:37that my children

00:24:38they like

00:24:39which is what they

00:24:40enjoy

00:24:41I do everything

00:24:42what is on my side

00:24:43to propose to them

00:24:44an environment

00:24:45pleasant

00:24:47according to what

00:24:48They like it

00:24:49that if they like it

00:24:50the music

00:24:52that if they like

00:24:52the movies

00:24:53that if they like it

00:24:54I don't know

00:24:55what right now

00:24:56the kids

00:24:57are

00:24:57what they have fun with

00:24:59Well

00:25:00I have to get myself done

00:25:01empathetic

00:25:01to that reality

00:25:02although probably

00:25:04I don't

00:25:04I see her

00:25:06in the same way

00:25:07but it's the way

00:25:08that I'm going

00:25:08creating

00:25:09that society

00:25:11with my family

00:25:12of a character

00:25:13who is no longer the little boy

00:25:15that I had

00:25:15in my arms

00:25:16a while ago

00:25:17or that I was wearing

00:25:18to kindergarten

00:25:18or to primary school

00:25:19is a person

00:25:21that is

00:25:22converting

00:25:22in adults

00:25:23then they themselves

00:25:24They have to feel

00:25:26of us

00:25:27the parents

00:25:28that communication

00:25:29totally affectionate

00:25:30that they can tell you

00:25:32It's because my dad

00:25:32He's really cool.

00:25:33speak

00:25:34with my dad

00:25:36hours

00:25:36and I enjoy it

00:25:38and enjoys me

00:25:39but a friend

00:25:41For example

00:25:42a difference

00:25:42during that conversation

00:25:44and the conversation

00:25:44from a friend

00:25:45For example

00:25:46is if you

00:25:47they fix

00:25:47the friend

00:25:48the friend

00:25:49He is not judging

00:25:50the friend

00:25:50is being

00:25:51completely

00:25:52empathetic

00:25:53fun

00:25:53Well

00:25:54this part

00:25:55of communication

00:25:56superficial

00:25:57It takes me

00:25:58to take

00:25:58that friendship

00:25:59with my children

00:26:00TRUE?

00:26:00look

00:26:01a comment

00:26:02here in communication

00:26:03superficial

00:26:03This is the one that

00:26:05not because it's superficial

00:26:06It's bad

00:26:08or should it be underestimated

00:26:09on the contrary

00:26:10in fact

00:26:11is the one that most

00:26:11It must be given

00:26:12during adolescence

00:26:13because

00:26:14as Ricardo says

00:26:15They are going to go

00:26:17against

00:26:17of all the rules

00:26:18of all

00:26:19what they are

00:26:19instructions

00:26:20so

00:26:21if I don't use

00:26:23This communication

00:26:23superficial

00:26:24where I'm going to talk

00:26:25of what to him

00:26:25if he likes it

00:26:26her

00:26:26if you're interested

00:26:27well

00:26:29He won't want to

00:26:30talk to me

00:26:30and he won't love me

00:26:31hear

00:26:32so

00:26:32a tip

00:26:33please

00:26:34at dinner

00:26:35at the meal

00:26:36at the moment

00:26:37that's how we live together

00:26:38familiar

00:26:38Don't talk about religion

00:26:40Don't talk about morality

00:26:41Don't talk about rules

00:26:43talks about fashion

00:26:44soccer

00:26:45of what to them

00:26:47she likes

00:26:47so that he can talk

00:26:49so that they feel

00:26:50at ease

00:26:50at home

00:26:52and if they carry

00:26:53little friends

00:26:53to the house

00:26:54little friends

00:26:54talks about what

00:26:56They like it

00:26:57TRUE?

00:26:57even if you look

00:26:58there half

00:26:58outdated

00:26:59you try

00:27:00of putting

00:27:01at the level

00:27:01of them

00:27:02and speaks

00:27:03in such a way

00:27:04that they come out

00:27:04the little friends

00:27:05and say

00:27:06Hey, that's awesome!

00:27:07your dad

00:27:07It's very easy

00:27:08your mom

00:27:09He's really cool.

00:27:10with them

00:27:10if we can talk

00:27:11not with my own

00:27:12oh well

00:27:13superficial

00:27:15but abundant

00:27:17familiar

00:27:18TRUE?

00:27:18what's happening?

00:27:20Adolescence passes

00:27:20and when they arrive

00:27:21to be young

00:27:22just as they opened

00:27:23for this type

00:27:23of talks

00:27:24They are going to open

00:27:25now yes

00:27:25for things

00:27:26deeper

00:27:27TRUE?

00:27:28they're going to know

00:27:28talk to you

00:27:29Yeah

00:27:30and look

00:27:31and now leaving

00:27:33a bit

00:27:34these forms

00:27:35communication

00:27:36What can I tell you?

00:27:37you need to know

00:27:38at what point

00:27:39we must apply

00:27:41each one

00:27:41we have to ask him

00:27:42to God that light

00:27:43to know

00:27:44at what point

00:27:45use them

00:27:46in the end

00:27:48another of the

00:27:49important parts

00:27:51of communication

00:27:52the thing is

00:27:53what we communicate

00:27:55It should always be

00:27:56the truth

00:27:56always

00:27:58always

00:27:59Why do I mean

00:28:00To this?

00:28:01look

00:28:01us

00:28:03the best inheritance

00:28:04that we can give

00:28:05to our children

00:28:06is that they know

00:28:07the truth

00:28:08TRUE?

00:28:09And well, we all know.

00:28:10who is the truth

00:28:11TRUE?

00:28:12Jesus is the truth

00:28:13And why does this happen?

00:28:16look

00:28:16normally

00:28:17if we do

00:28:18a bit

00:28:19from memory

00:28:19and we pursue

00:28:24the truth

00:28:24in our life

00:28:25We're leaving

00:28:26to give an account

00:28:26that we

00:28:27we have ways

00:28:28to think

00:28:29now

00:28:30very different

00:28:32to which we had

00:28:3310 years ago

00:28:34or to the ones we had

00:28:3515 years

00:28:36Let us remember

00:28:37when we were

00:28:37teenagers

00:28:38and we brought

00:28:39as well as that

00:28:39the hormone

00:28:40everything he gave

00:28:41What were we thinking?

00:28:43What did we think?

00:28:44of people

00:28:44of the opposite sex?

00:28:46What did we think?

00:28:47from our parents?

00:28:49Yeah?

00:28:50hey

00:28:50dated

00:28:52doesn't want to

00:28:53that I have fun

00:28:54we thought

00:28:56things

00:28:56that according

00:28:57we have gone

00:28:58maturing

00:28:59in our life

00:28:59we have left

00:29:01to think

00:29:01I can

00:29:03ensure

00:29:03that

00:29:03what you were thinking

00:29:05right now

00:29:06It's not the same

00:29:06what do you think

00:29:0710 years ago

00:29:08that your rules

00:29:09life

00:29:09what do you have

00:29:10right now

00:29:10with whom you live

00:29:11They are not the same

00:29:12from a while ago

00:29:13when you had

00:29:14I don't know

00:29:1511, 12 years old

00:29:16TRUE?

00:29:17we have been changing

00:29:18And we will continue

00:29:19changing

00:29:19That's why it's so difficult

00:29:21that our communication

00:29:23with our children

00:29:23It is based

00:29:25within ourselves

00:29:26That's a big mistake

00:29:28teaching

00:29:30to our children

00:29:30OK

00:29:31according to our criteria

00:29:32because our criteria

00:29:34they keep changing

00:29:35I'm telling you

00:29:35the form

00:29:35what were you thinking about

00:29:37from a party

00:29:38when you were 15 years old

00:29:39It's not the same

00:29:40of the 20

00:29:41and it's not the same

00:29:42of the 40

00:29:43TRUE?

00:29:44has changed

00:29:44Well

00:29:45us

00:29:46us

00:29:46Christians

00:29:47those of us who believe

00:29:49in Christ

00:29:49those of us who live

00:29:51in this great

00:29:51Catholic church

00:29:53those of us who are

00:29:54part of it

00:29:54we know

00:29:55that

00:29:56that Christ

00:29:57it's the truth

00:29:58and that the best

00:29:59way of educating

00:30:00to our children

00:30:01it is based

00:30:02to the truth

00:30:02And I tell you

00:30:04and if we

00:30:04we teach each other

00:30:05that

00:30:05we will be able to

00:30:07prepare

00:30:08now yes

00:30:08for a world

00:30:09who doesn't want

00:30:10the truth

00:30:11who wants

00:30:12the darkness

00:30:12but a world

00:30:13that lived

00:30:14in truth

00:30:15It's going to take me

00:30:16to eternal life

00:30:17so

00:30:18here

00:30:19the important thing

00:30:21the thing is

00:30:22all our truth

00:30:23be based

00:30:25in the word

00:30:27TRUE?

00:30:28in the church

00:30:28Yeah?

00:30:30so that we don't make a mistake

00:30:31because

00:30:32if I don't tell you

00:30:33but

00:30:33we're going to be

00:30:34experimenting

00:30:35with our children

00:30:36that truth

00:30:37then here

00:30:38It's radical

00:30:39us

00:30:41We have to teach them

00:30:42the truth

00:30:42of Christ

00:30:43although we

00:30:44as parents

00:30:45We are the kings

00:30:46of our home

00:30:47because it exists

00:30:48a king of kings

00:30:49a gentleman

00:30:50of gentlemen

00:30:50which is above

00:30:52of us

00:30:52his truth

00:30:53is above

00:30:55of mine

00:30:55because of his truth

00:30:56is eternal

00:30:57mine

00:30:57It's totally

00:30:58temporary

00:30:59then I must

00:31:00to guide my children

00:31:01towards the truth

00:31:02eternal

00:31:03And how can we do it?

00:31:05well then

00:31:06because many people

00:31:07says no

00:31:07Well, it's just that

00:31:08well to us

00:31:09They don't teach us

00:31:10to become parents

00:31:11TRUE?

00:31:11No

00:31:12Of course it teaches us

00:31:13the word teaches us

00:31:15Jesus himself

00:31:16It teaches us

00:31:17in the gospels

00:31:18how to

00:31:20treat our children

00:31:21how to

00:31:23treat people

00:31:24how to live

00:31:25OK

00:31:26to Christianity

00:31:27the detail

00:31:28the thing is

00:31:28probably

00:31:29we need to know

00:31:31more to Christ

00:31:31And you will say

00:31:33then Ricardo

00:31:34We have to be there for them

00:31:35teaching the Bible

00:31:36to our children

00:31:37No

00:31:37look

00:31:38as well as education

00:31:40is going to

00:31:42this

00:31:42growing

00:31:44as it goes

00:31:45growing older

00:31:46and its maturity

00:31:46teaching

00:31:48of the truth

00:31:49that we

00:31:50We are going to reveal to you

00:31:51of Christ

00:31:51He's going to go too

00:31:52changing over time

00:31:53It's not about

00:31:54of putting them

00:31:55to our children

00:31:55to a Bible course

00:31:57which would be very good

00:31:58But ultimately

00:32:00us

00:32:01we are the ones who

00:32:02we have to do

00:32:03we need to know

00:32:05to Christ

00:32:06we need to know

00:32:07What is the truth?

00:32:09and we

00:32:10pass it on to him

00:32:11There is an example

00:32:11that the Father puts

00:32:12on this

00:32:12which I like a lot

00:32:13where it says

00:32:15It's like

00:32:15as if you

00:32:17you ate a bean

00:32:18and you ate it raw

00:32:19You eat your bean

00:32:22raw

00:32:23You're not going to like it

00:32:24and ultimately

00:32:26the next day

00:32:27that raw bean

00:32:28It's going to come out

00:32:28exactly

00:32:29there was nothing

00:32:31of improvement

00:32:32in your life

00:32:33we as parents

00:32:35We are in charge

00:32:36to make that bean

00:32:37be succulent

00:32:39for our children

00:32:40and put his little tortilla chip on it

00:32:42your sauce

00:32:43in such a way

00:32:44that for whom

00:32:45the knowledge of Christ

00:32:46for them

00:32:47to be carried out

00:32:49in our life

00:32:50that is to say

00:32:52we became

00:32:53in that truth

00:32:55walking

00:32:57for them

00:32:57They know Christ

00:32:59through our works

00:33:01because we

00:33:01if we know him

00:33:03And if we love him

00:33:04And if we follow it

00:33:06That's why it's so important

00:33:07that

00:33:08that here at this moment

00:33:10us

00:33:10our testimony

00:33:12life

00:33:13becomes

00:33:14in the form

00:33:15to demonstrate to them

00:33:16What is the truth?

00:33:18and

00:33:19and

00:33:19And it's very important.

00:33:20because if we

00:33:21We do it like this

00:33:22a quick analysis

00:33:23of how it was

00:33:24the life of Jesus

00:33:25if you look closely

00:33:26Jesus spoke little.

00:33:28He didn't give many sermons

00:33:29Jesus acted

00:33:31and loved very much

00:33:32yes indeed

00:33:33It happens in all

00:33:34the parts

00:33:35of the New Testament

00:33:37TRUE?

00:33:37in the Bible

00:33:38in the Gospels

00:33:39Jesus

00:33:40the way in which

00:33:41He taught forgiveness

00:33:42was forgiving

00:33:44Jesus

00:33:45the way that

00:33:46who taught how to help

00:33:48was helping

00:33:49was healing

00:33:50was giving

00:33:51of food

00:33:52I mean

00:33:52Jesus taught

00:33:54with the facts

00:33:55so

00:33:55we when we carry

00:33:57that truth

00:33:57when communicating

00:33:59that Jesus

00:33:59We have it

00:34:01to begin

00:34:01to demonstrate

00:34:02with our own life

00:34:04Yeah?

00:34:05and well then

00:34:07going deeper

00:34:08in the word of God

00:34:09Let's see

00:34:11several examples

00:34:12TRUE?

00:34:13how

00:34:13in the Bible

00:34:14and how especially

00:34:15Jesus teaches us

00:34:17So how should we?

00:34:18to have this communication

00:34:19with our children

00:34:20as Ricardo says

00:34:21There's the instruction.

00:34:23TRUE?

00:34:24There's the school

00:34:25so that we can be

00:34:26those parents

00:34:27that our children

00:34:28They need

00:34:29Let's see

00:34:30in the quote from Matthew 22

00:34:32verses from 37

00:34:35to 38

00:34:36You shall love the Lord

00:34:38your God

00:34:39with all your heart

00:34:40with all your soul

00:34:41and with all your spirit

00:34:43This is the biggest one

00:34:45and the first commandment

00:34:48the second

00:34:49is similar

00:34:50to the first

00:34:50You shall love your neighbor

00:34:52as yourself

00:34:54You will love God

00:34:56above all things

00:34:57and to your neighbor

00:34:58as yourself

00:34:59so

00:35:00How should it be?

00:35:02based on our communication

00:35:03with our children?

00:35:05in love

00:35:06TRUE?

00:35:07in that love

00:35:08that only

00:35:09God can give us

00:35:10TRUE?

00:35:11God alone

00:35:12can inspire

00:35:13in us

00:35:14that feeling

00:35:16of love

00:35:16pure

00:35:17full

00:35:17perfect

00:35:18TRUE?

00:35:18because we

00:35:19we are imperfect

00:35:21and impure

00:35:22so

00:35:23we need to have

00:35:24This communication

00:35:25constant with God

00:35:27to feel his love

00:35:28in order to transmit it

00:35:30to our children

00:35:31TRUE?

00:35:31so that

00:35:32to really be able to

00:35:33to have that responsibility

00:35:35with our children

00:35:36but a responsibility

00:35:38full of love

00:35:38TRUE?

00:35:39look

00:35:40I remember this.

00:35:41of an event

00:35:42my daughter

00:35:43Okay, I was going

00:35:44more or less

00:35:44leaving adolescence

00:35:46I was 18 years old

00:35:47I had just finished them

00:35:48to comply

00:35:49And well, you know.

00:35:5118 years old

00:35:51I want to go to a nightclub

00:35:53for a start

00:35:54the word den

00:35:55TRUE?

00:35:56in our time

00:35:57They were records

00:35:58TRUE?

00:35:59but it's a dive bar

00:36:00It sounds awful.

00:36:01in my opinion

00:36:02I want to go to a nightclub

00:36:04and apart

00:36:04It was the time

00:36:05of insecurity

00:36:06awful

00:36:07the shootings

00:36:09and so on

00:36:10TRUE?

00:36:11Then no, my little girl

00:36:12you can't

00:36:13because it is not

00:36:14It is not appropriate

00:36:16It's not good.

00:36:16and so on

00:36:17TRUE?

00:36:18this

00:36:18so well

00:36:20Well, there was a situation

00:36:22where

00:36:22She was hidden

00:36:24to a dive bar

00:36:25this

00:36:26and

00:36:27at the moment

00:36:29which I was going to

00:36:29to communicate

00:36:30because really

00:36:32Okay, I'll give it to him.

00:36:33Thank God

00:36:33because he sowed in her

00:36:35that need

00:36:37to reconcile

00:36:38with the Lord

00:36:39to ask for forgiveness

00:36:40and came

00:36:41to reconciliation

00:36:42It was at a holy hour

00:36:44He went to confession

00:36:45and when I was leaving

00:36:47to communicate

00:36:47Well

00:36:48this

00:36:48he brought it up with me

00:36:49in a way

00:36:49that

00:36:50Well, I, as a mother,

00:36:51I felt like it was falling off

00:36:52the sky

00:36:53TRUE?

00:36:54he tells me

00:36:54mother

00:36:54I have to tell you

00:36:55something very serious

00:36:56very important

00:36:57what happened in my life

00:36:58I need to tell you

00:37:01I already went to confession

00:37:02this

00:37:03I want you to know

00:37:04which is the first time

00:37:05I do it

00:37:06I had never done it before.

00:37:07in my life

00:37:08me too

00:37:09God of my life

00:37:10Imagine what I thought

00:37:11TRUE?

00:37:1218 years old

00:37:13telling me

00:37:13all that preamble

00:37:14crying

00:37:15He went to confession

00:37:17Sir

00:37:18Well

00:37:19I

00:37:19my face like this

00:37:20as if nothing was happening

00:37:22and I told him

00:37:22daughter

00:37:23you have done

00:37:25whatever you have done

00:37:26I never stopped loving you

00:37:27I love you no less

00:37:28I am your mother

00:37:29and I'm here to support you

00:37:31and help you

00:37:31I expected it like this

00:37:33worst

00:37:34TRUE?

00:37:35and he tells me

00:37:36Well, you know what?

00:37:37I want to apologize.

00:37:39because I told you a lie

00:37:41And that's how I felt inside.

00:37:42of course the face

00:37:44as well as that

00:37:45TRUE?

00:37:46like what

00:37:46how awful

00:37:47TRUE?

00:37:48I do

00:37:48What lie did you tell me?

00:37:50Well, then

00:37:51Do you remember that we went?

00:37:53to a party

00:37:53I don't know what

00:37:54and that supposedly

00:37:55Mom picked us up

00:37:56and they had already left

00:37:57time to sleep at home

00:37:57from a little friend

00:37:58excellent

00:37:59a friend of many years

00:38:00and always

00:38:01and so on

00:38:01well no

00:38:02He took us to a dive bar

00:38:04We stayed at the club

00:38:05We stayed until 2 in the morning

00:38:07and well

00:38:07at the time

00:38:08mine kept falling out

00:38:09the hair

00:38:10thinking about that

00:38:11And that was the big lie

00:38:13TRUE?

00:38:14so well

00:38:14I give thanks to the Lord

00:38:16because

00:38:16She felt loved

00:38:18TRUE?

00:38:18She felt understood

00:38:20and it was able to open

00:38:21then

00:38:21He was able to ask for forgiveness.

00:38:22to Mr.

00:38:23because of the lie

00:38:24that for her

00:38:24It was something very serious.

00:38:25and well

00:38:26so we put

00:38:27this

00:38:28well, letters

00:38:29on the matter

00:38:30Right, my little girl?

00:38:32Well, you're grounded.

00:38:33for this and for that

00:38:34Me too, as a mom

00:38:35I'm going to push myself

00:38:36be more attentive

00:38:38I'm going to pick you up

00:38:39I'm not going to leave

00:38:39have another mom pick you up

00:38:40because they don't think

00:38:41just like us

00:38:42that your dad and I

00:38:43TRUE?

00:38:44so well

00:38:44It's very important

00:38:46now Jesus

00:38:47because he loved

00:38:49I was saying things

00:38:50TRUE?

00:38:50There will be moments

00:38:51in what are we going to say

00:38:53hard things

00:38:54things they don't like

00:38:55to our children

00:38:56I think that

00:38:57Jesus loved

00:38:58to the Pharisees

00:38:59and I told them

00:38:59tombs

00:39:00bleached

00:39:01TRUE?

00:39:02and loved them

00:39:03and because I loved them

00:39:04I was telling them

00:39:05They are rotten

00:39:06inside

00:39:07and bleached

00:39:08outside

00:39:08fill up

00:39:10TRUE?

00:39:10of the Holy Spirit

00:39:11and Blancan

00:39:12whiten your heart

00:39:14be noble

00:39:15in his heart

00:39:16not just

00:39:17on the surface

00:39:18TRUE?

00:39:18so

00:39:18we have to love

00:39:20even though we have

00:39:21What can I say?

00:39:21things that hurt

00:39:22Yeah

00:39:24and even

00:39:26Well, we have to

00:39:28There will be moments

00:39:30where

00:39:30our communication

00:39:31It's going to have to be

00:39:32more violent

00:39:34than other times

00:39:34TRUE?

00:39:35this

00:39:36if we remember

00:39:38the merchants

00:39:38of the temple

00:39:39this

00:39:40well, like

00:39:41Jesus acted

00:39:42in a way

00:39:43violent

00:39:43Did he love them?

00:39:44I loved them

00:39:45but because

00:39:46I loved them

00:39:47and wanted them to be saved

00:39:49and wanted them to respect

00:39:50and wanted that

00:39:51recognized

00:39:52to God

00:39:53He had to talk to them

00:39:54So, right?

00:39:56And so we have

00:39:56that we are

00:39:57this

00:39:58I tell them

00:39:59these moments

00:40:01are

00:40:01And if you see it

00:40:02in the life of Jesus

00:40:03There weren't many.

00:40:04TRUE?

00:40:05normally

00:40:05the moments

00:40:06where we

00:40:07We have communication

00:40:09this

00:40:10a communication

00:40:11Hey

00:40:12it is with our

00:40:14own testimony

00:40:15Saint Francis said

00:40:16of Assisi

00:40:17go

00:40:17evangelize

00:40:18and if necessary

00:40:19speak

00:40:19I mean

00:40:20us

00:40:21in our

00:40:22constant living

00:40:23we can be

00:40:24those

00:40:24those communicators

00:40:26of the gospel

00:40:26towards our children

00:40:28and

00:40:28Why do I say that?

00:40:29Look

00:40:29it's simply

00:40:30follow the commandments

00:40:31but normally

00:40:32in our life

00:40:33ordinary

00:40:34We do many things

00:40:35where we communicate

00:40:37opposite

00:40:37to the truths

00:40:39of Christ

00:40:40how many times

00:40:41No

00:40:41He calls someone

00:40:42And tell him I'm not here.

00:40:43because you're teaching him

00:40:45to lie

00:40:46TRUE?

00:40:47or tell him to cooperate already

00:40:48either

00:40:50Tell your teacher

00:40:51that you are sick

00:40:52well no

00:40:53I mean

00:40:53a Christian

00:40:54cannot teach

00:40:55to their children

00:40:56to lie

00:40:57TRUE?

00:40:58are

00:40:58you are communicating

00:40:59evil

00:41:00TRUE?

00:41:01we have

00:41:01that communicate

00:41:02if we are going to communicate

00:41:03For example

00:41:04to our children

00:41:05chastity

00:41:06Well, we have

00:41:07to be chaste

00:41:08and they have

00:41:09what to see in us

00:41:10chastity

00:41:11that women

00:41:13dress modestly

00:41:14that men

00:41:16visit

00:41:16appropriately

00:41:18if you're watching

00:41:19a movie

00:41:20with your children

00:41:21and suddenly

00:41:22Images appear

00:41:23inappropriate

00:41:24at that moment

00:41:25They change them

00:41:26That's a

00:41:27It is a communication

00:41:29although it is not verbal

00:41:31that's what they're left with

00:41:32flatter

00:41:33in their children

00:41:33hey

00:41:33we cannot

00:41:35watch a movie

00:41:35that has that type

00:41:36of images

00:41:37and from a young age

00:41:38you cut it off

00:41:40we had

00:41:41that experience

00:41:42and to begin

00:41:43It's uncomfortable

00:41:43They don't understand

00:41:45But like I said

00:41:46as it goes on

00:41:47time

00:41:47and let them begin

00:41:49to identify

00:41:49the damage

00:41:51For example

00:41:51What does pornography do?

00:41:53But I'm telling you

00:41:53They have to arrive

00:41:55with all that testimony

00:41:56that we

00:41:57we're pushing each other

00:41:58to that conclusion

00:42:00of evil

00:42:00what are you doing

00:42:01not living

00:42:02in truth

00:42:03and about that

00:42:04I can tell you

00:42:05It is the service

00:42:07How can I prove it?

00:42:08that I am generous

00:42:09and that I help others

00:42:11by giving alms

00:42:12so you don't help me

00:42:14That's the way

00:42:15that I can

00:42:16communicate to my son

00:42:17what is the service like?

00:42:18But that's just everyday life.

00:42:21I mean

00:42:21all the time

00:42:22I have to be prepared

00:42:24to make that gospel

00:42:26that communicates to my son

00:42:28the truth of Christ

00:42:29Yeah

00:42:30another example

00:42:34that we have

00:42:35in the Bible

00:42:35Well

00:42:36not here

00:42:36of the person

00:42:37of Jesus

00:42:38of God

00:42:38God himself

00:42:39in Psalm 145

00:42:42verse 8

00:42:43says

00:42:44The Lord is kind

00:42:46and compassionate

00:42:47slow to anger

00:42:49and of great mercy

00:42:51as it should be

00:42:53this family communication

00:42:54as it should be

00:42:55This communication

00:42:56with our children

00:42:57Well, it must be

00:42:58based on mercy

00:43:00What talent you have!

00:43:02to make you angry

00:43:03with your children

00:43:04You are compassionate

00:43:07are you empathetic

00:43:09do you remember

00:43:11when you had

00:43:11her age

00:43:12wow

00:43:13I really

00:43:14I remember it very well.

00:43:16TRUE

00:43:17my daughter

00:43:17well right now

00:43:18She's already married

00:43:19And she, well, already

00:43:20has his house

00:43:21TRUE

00:43:22and its rules

00:43:23and so on

00:43:23But when I was

00:43:25at home

00:43:25I was telling him

00:43:26TRUE

00:43:27she told me

00:43:28It's my room

00:43:29Don't get involved

00:43:30in my room

00:43:31because I

00:43:31order it

00:43:32and put away the clothes

00:43:33and clean

00:43:33TRUE

00:43:34Don't get involved

00:43:35in my room

00:43:35It's my room

00:43:36This is my space

00:43:37And I was telling him

00:43:38Well, as long as you live

00:43:39in this house

00:43:39and the fourth

00:43:40be part of this house

00:43:41You have to keep going

00:43:42the rules

00:43:42wow

00:43:44and then I remembered

00:43:44when I was a teenager

00:43:46God of my life

00:43:47my sister and I

00:43:48we had this

00:43:49because two are never enough

00:43:50two twin beds

00:43:51TRUE

00:43:52and a moment came

00:43:53where were we?

00:43:53so beaten

00:43:54with the clothes

00:43:55We had so many things

00:43:57out of the closet

00:43:58than a bed

00:43:59It was full of clothes

00:44:00and we slept together

00:44:01for several months

00:44:03because my mom said

00:44:04if you don't save

00:44:05those clothes

00:44:05It will not be saved

00:44:06well then

00:44:07We were both sleeping

00:44:08in a little bed

00:44:09individual

00:44:10as long as I don't have to save

00:44:12the clothes

00:44:12and my mom

00:44:13He was patient with us.

00:44:15and mercy

00:44:16TRUE

00:44:16then I was saying

00:44:16after

00:44:17Okay, I'm going to be

00:44:18tolerant

00:44:19with my daughter

00:44:20probably

00:44:21probably

00:44:21is beaten

00:44:22a bit

00:44:22with his things

00:44:23in his room

00:44:24oh well

00:44:24then it is proposed

00:44:25and fixes them

00:44:26in his person

00:44:27It is clean

00:44:28is fixed

00:44:29his books

00:44:30your tools

00:44:31is responsible

00:44:32Well

00:44:33the transcendental

00:44:34TRUE

00:44:35I need to press harder

00:44:36and it

00:44:37this

00:44:38inconsequential

00:44:39the superficial

00:44:40Well, I have to be

00:44:41more tolerant

00:44:42so well

00:44:43merciful

00:44:45empathetic

00:44:46TRUE

00:44:46that God

00:44:48He has patience.

00:44:49with us

00:44:49Why not have it?

00:44:50us

00:44:51with our children

00:44:52TRUE

00:44:53because I don't understand

00:44:54that really

00:44:56There are things

00:44:56that they cannot

00:44:57TRUE

00:44:58They communicate

00:44:59one thing

00:44:59they think one thing

00:45:00and they feel another

00:45:01TRUE

00:45:02how many times

00:45:02they tell you

00:45:03This mom

00:45:04because already

00:45:05I am in high school

00:45:07already the parents

00:45:08They don't go to the matches

00:45:09Don't go to the game

00:45:10Don't go to the presentation

00:45:12of the dance

00:45:13because already

00:45:13high school students

00:45:14the parents

00:45:14they don't go

00:45:15they don't go

00:45:15only those in primary school

00:45:16TRUE

00:45:17And you're not going.

00:45:18And it turns out he goes out to the game

00:45:21goes out to the dance

00:45:22and the first thing he does

00:45:23It's to see if you went

00:45:25TRUE

00:45:25and you pick it up

00:45:27at the end

00:45:28TRUE

00:45:28and tells you

00:45:29how beautiful

00:45:30You didn't come

00:45:31and the parents

00:45:32of the others

00:45:33if they came

00:45:33You know how I felt

00:45:35he was the only one

00:45:36that you didn't come

00:45:37And you tell him

00:45:38daughter

00:45:38But you told me

00:45:39that he didn't come

00:45:40I wanted to come

00:45:42No

00:45:42but

00:45:43It's clear you're not interested.

00:45:44TRUE

00:45:45so

00:45:45Well

00:45:46merciful

00:45:48patients

00:45:49They don't understand each other

00:45:50nor themselves

00:45:51TRUE

00:45:51so that way

00:45:52we have to read

00:45:53between the lines

00:45:54TRUE

00:45:55if what they're saying

00:45:56It is reasoned

00:45:57or is it emotional?

00:45:58He tells me not to go.

00:45:59But if you want me to go

00:46:01or how things are

00:46:02TRUE

00:46:02so well

00:46:03ask God

00:46:04that will enlighten us

00:46:05TRUE

00:46:06that we truly be

00:46:07empathetic

00:46:08that we may be

00:46:09assertive

00:46:10with what we do

00:46:11with what we transmit

00:46:12to our children

00:46:13Yeah

00:46:14And I say this lastly

00:46:16because already

00:46:17I think we

00:46:17we lengthened it a lot

00:46:18is

00:46:19there is a part

00:46:21what is

00:46:22a gift

00:46:23of those who

00:46:23I acknowledge

00:46:25as among the most

00:46:25wonderful

00:46:26that God has given us

00:46:27What is freedom?

00:46:29freedom

00:46:30of the fact

00:46:30to choose

00:46:31of the good

00:46:32probably

00:46:32Well, it's a gift.

00:46:34that God gives us

00:46:35The thing is,

00:46:37although

00:46:37our children

00:46:39They also receive

00:46:40that gift

00:46:40It is important

00:46:42that we

00:46:43let's know

00:46:43help them

00:46:45to find it

00:46:47because

00:46:47when they

00:46:48They are small

00:46:49They lack the elements

00:46:51in order to live

00:46:52a freedom

00:46:53in Christ

00:46:55a freedom

00:46:56in love

00:46:56normally

00:46:57freedom

00:46:58that they

00:46:59they are finding

00:47:00is the one of the world

00:47:01It is freedom

00:47:02rather

00:47:04It's debauchery.

00:47:05that we know

00:47:06how it ends

00:47:07I mean

00:47:07we know how

00:47:08like this freedom

00:47:10of the world

00:47:10that's all it does

00:47:11is

00:47:12enslave me

00:47:15TRUE

00:47:15It is not freedom

00:47:17but quite the opposite

00:47:19drugs

00:47:20and sex

00:47:22all that

00:47:22what the world

00:47:23this

00:47:24is inviting

00:47:26like something

00:47:26that sets you free

00:47:27we know that

00:47:28It's the opposite

00:47:29then we

00:47:30as parents

00:47:30We need to communicate

00:47:32freedom

00:47:33that really

00:47:34It's the one that's coming

00:47:36of God

00:47:36and it's the one that's coming

00:47:37of the truth

00:47:38and the one that concludes

00:47:39as with love

00:47:40Let me explain

00:47:41we as parents

00:47:42We have to go

00:47:43dosing

00:47:44because I tell them

00:47:46They lack the elements

00:47:47they still

00:47:47in adolescence

00:47:48in order to be able to

00:47:49to define oneself as free

00:47:51to reach the moment

00:47:52where

00:47:53they

00:47:54they will take

00:47:55the course

00:47:56that

00:47:57they decide

00:47:59TRUE

00:47:59and there

00:48:00we as parents

00:48:02because our communication

00:48:03Well, it will have to be.

00:48:04in another way

00:48:05but while

00:48:06that are

00:48:06in our home

00:48:07and while

00:48:07that are

00:48:08under our roof

00:48:10we have

00:48:11to educate them

00:48:12in freedom

00:48:13of love

00:48:14that freedom

00:48:15that only Christ gives

00:48:16and?

00:48:17It is freedom

00:48:19that makes you happy

00:48:20I don't know, Laura.

00:48:22look

00:48:23nothing else

00:48:23that's where we were missing

00:48:24an important point

00:48:26also

00:48:26to take into account

00:48:27within communication

00:48:29with the children

00:48:29It must be

00:48:30humble

00:48:31TRUE

00:48:32There is a date

00:48:33in Ephesians

00:48:34It is Ephesians 4

00:48:35verse 32

00:48:36that says

00:48:37on the contrary

00:48:38be mutually

00:48:39good and compassionate

00:48:41forgive one another

00:48:43to the others

00:48:43as God has

00:48:44forgiven in Christ

00:48:45how many times

00:48:47we have asked

00:48:49Forgive our children

00:48:50that one of

00:48:52Because I say so.

00:48:53because I am your father

00:48:54because I am your mother

00:48:55TRUE

00:48:56And I'm not wrong

00:48:57Because I'm your mom

00:48:58or I'm your dad

00:48:59Well, no, right?

00:49:00I mean

00:49:00We must, with humility

00:49:03with simplicity

00:49:03recognize

00:49:04when we make mistakes

00:49:05knowing how to ask for forgiveness

00:49:07a teenage son

00:49:08that his dad asks him

00:49:09sorry

00:49:10You know what, son?

00:49:11I made a mistake

00:49:11You were right.

00:49:12This was not the case

00:49:13or this

00:49:14I shouldn't have done it that way

00:49:15Forgive me, truly.

00:49:16because I didn't act

00:49:17in a way

00:49:18this

00:49:19reasonable

00:49:20but I let myself go

00:49:21because of my passion

00:49:22TRUE

00:49:22And I got angry

00:49:23and ask for forgiveness

00:49:24Well

00:49:24That's the best lesson.

00:49:26that you can give to the son

00:49:27TRUE

00:49:28so

00:49:28this

00:49:29Let's not overlook

00:49:31this humility

00:49:32this asking for forgiveness

00:49:33this

00:49:34forgive them

00:49:35TRUE

00:49:3570 times 7

00:49:37said

00:49:38the scripture says

00:49:39TRUE

00:49:39How many times, sir?

00:49:4070 times 7

00:49:42Jesus told us

00:49:42because

00:49:43because

00:49:44well n times

00:49:45as many times as necessary

00:49:46as long as I see

00:49:47that my son really

00:49:48There it goes, on its way

00:49:50He is making an effort

00:49:51I'm going to forgive him

00:49:52I'm going to tolerate it

00:49:53TRUE

00:49:53Yeah

00:49:54and I don't know

00:49:55If you have any questions, please let us know.

00:49:57something we can help you with

00:49:59really

00:50:00this

00:50:01as we discussed

00:50:02TRUE

00:50:02We are not experts

00:50:03in the area

00:50:03We have the experience

00:50:04of being parents

00:50:05this

00:50:06the happy

00:50:07of having a daughter

00:50:08wonderful

00:50:09whom we love

00:50:10and we have

00:50:11We try to educate

00:50:12in the best way

00:50:13and have the best communication

00:50:14and above all

00:50:15well we have

00:50:16tried to let yourself be guided

00:50:18so the word

00:50:19and so Mr.

00:50:20wants

00:50:21in this communication

00:50:23with our daughter

00:50:24TRUE

00:50:24in our family

00:50:25so well

00:50:27well

00:50:28Ah, very good.

00:50:31let's see

00:50:32come on

00:50:32Oh, I left it there

00:50:33this

00:50:37it's already

00:50:37very good

00:50:42Let's see

00:50:43Yeah

00:50:43If there is any doubt

00:50:44any concerns

00:50:45we're going to

00:50:46to see it

00:50:48perfect

00:50:56let's see

00:50:57to do

00:50:59when my children

00:51:00not even

00:51:01They direct me

00:51:02the word

00:51:02Oh dear

00:51:03It's difficult.

00:51:05the question

00:51:06What do you think?

00:51:08well

00:51:09entry

00:51:10well, to begin with

00:51:12the light of the spirit

00:51:13I mean

00:51:13the prayer

00:51:14many times

00:51:16That's right

00:51:17we see it

00:51:17as the last resort

00:51:18but

00:51:19It should be the first option

00:51:21I mean

00:51:21I think that

00:51:23well one

00:51:24a complicated question

00:51:25not far

00:51:27of reality

00:51:27because there are moments

00:51:29that to us

00:51:29They passed us

00:51:30also

00:51:31where the children

00:51:32simply no

00:51:33but there

00:51:34I think that

00:51:35in the light of the spirit

00:51:36identifying

00:51:38the possible

00:51:40reasons

00:51:40that

00:51:41that they carried

00:51:42towards that

00:51:43towards the

00:51:44cut off communication

00:51:46this

00:51:47Well, let's begin.

00:51:48to do a job

00:51:49of discernment

00:51:50probably

00:51:51study

00:51:52probably

00:51:53inclusive

00:51:54depending

00:51:56gravity

00:51:57even support

00:51:58TRUE

00:51:58because

00:51:59I'm telling you

00:52:00It's not far off.

00:52:01this scenario

00:52:02to what happens

00:52:04TRUE

00:52:04probably

00:52:05not with all the children

00:52:06not all children

00:52:07They are the same

00:52:08There are children

00:52:09where it gets complicated

00:52:10further

00:52:11which is

00:52:12communication

00:52:14in adolescence

00:52:15but if

00:52:16I think

00:52:17that

00:52:17we would have to see

00:52:19the reasons

00:52:21this

00:52:21the situations

00:52:23that

00:52:23that they carried

00:52:24that guy

00:52:25of behavior

00:52:26Now we have to see

00:52:28also

00:52:28this

00:52:29my opinion

00:52:30TRUE

00:52:30if this situation

00:52:31It's very particular.

00:52:33with you

00:52:33or also

00:52:34with your husband

00:52:35or with your partner

00:52:37TRUE

00:52:37I mean

00:52:37if with none

00:52:38of the two

00:52:39or if nothing else

00:52:39one is accented

00:52:40because suddenly

00:52:41this

00:52:42they bring there

00:52:43a situation

00:52:43of favoritism

00:52:44by the dad

00:52:45or favoritism

00:52:46by mom

00:52:47and with the other

00:52:47a total blockade

00:52:48Well

00:52:49but as long as there is

00:52:50a communication channel

00:52:51Well, we're getting there.

00:52:52TRUE

00:52:53in a little while

00:52:54I turn back

00:52:55in his friend

00:52:55TRUE

00:52:56but as long as communication continues

00:52:57with dad

00:52:58or with mom

00:52:59if with none

00:53:00of the two

00:53:00Well, we'll have to see.

00:53:01how are you

00:53:02with the teachers

00:53:04How are you with your friends?

00:53:05I mean

00:53:05We need to see a little bit

00:53:06plus the environment

00:53:07TRUE

00:53:07It's something very particular.

00:53:09right now with me

00:53:10or is it something

00:53:11which is widespread

00:53:12sometimes in adolescence

00:53:14Well, we need to ask for help.

00:53:15TRUE

00:53:15this

00:53:16It's not there

00:53:17I mean

00:53:18all the support

00:53:19from the word of God

00:53:20and all the support

00:53:21of the prayer

00:53:22and to let ourselves be guided

00:53:23through the gospel

00:53:24It's not there

00:53:25fought

00:53:26with professional help

00:53:28TRUE

00:53:28if we see that really

00:53:29It's already an attitude

00:53:30Well, no.

00:53:31I mean

00:53:31that is damaging it

00:53:32TRUE

00:53:33which is not

00:53:33which is not healthy

00:53:34well, ask for help

00:53:36TRUE

00:53:36this

00:53:37I don't know

00:53:38systemic psychology

00:53:39where he sees everything

00:53:40the operation

00:53:41of the family

00:53:42this

00:53:43It could be a recommendation

00:53:45TRUE

00:53:45But I do believe that

00:53:46see a little bit

00:53:46the environment

00:53:47Let's see if it's anything

00:53:48very personal

00:53:48or if it's something

00:53:49now more widespread

00:53:50and take action

00:53:51That's the point.

00:53:52another question

00:53:54says

00:53:54How do I talk to my son?

00:53:5614 years old

00:53:57that says

00:53:59What is homosexuality?

00:53:59well

00:54:03I think that

00:54:04first of all

00:54:04this

00:54:05here, like

00:54:07homosexuality

00:54:08it's like

00:54:09fashionable

00:54:10TRUE

00:54:10I mean

00:54:10the boys

00:54:11They want to feel

00:54:12this

00:54:12very fashionable

00:54:13very much that they are not

00:54:14retrograde

00:54:15like us

00:54:16They are open

00:54:17that are open

00:54:19this

00:54:19and well

00:54:20obviously

00:54:21if it's anything

00:54:22very delicate

00:54:22we have to

00:54:23address this situation

00:54:25oh well

00:54:26We really need to see it

00:54:27What does it refer to?

00:54:28I am homosexual

00:54:29TRUE

00:54:29I mean

00:54:30I like people

00:54:31of my same sex

00:54:33or I've already had an experience

00:54:35some approach

00:54:36this

00:54:37I don't know

00:54:37I kissed myself

00:54:38child or something

00:54:39TRUE

00:54:39suddenly

00:54:40around there

00:54:40there are friendships

00:54:41well then

00:54:41that confuse them

00:54:42this

00:54:44either

00:54:45or I don't accept myself

00:54:46as a man

00:54:47or what the situation is

00:54:49TRUE

00:54:49and so too

00:54:50address this situation

00:54:52TRUE

00:54:52this

00:54:53Let's not be alarmed

00:54:54this

00:54:55say

00:54:56we have

00:54:56the experience

00:54:57of people

00:54:58because it's close

00:55:00that at this stage

00:55:01so it had a

00:55:03a

00:55:03well, inclination

00:55:05TRUE

00:55:06this

00:55:06who declared

00:55:07themselves

00:55:08TRUE

00:55:08who were homosexuals

00:55:10say

00:55:10not even

00:55:11obviously they had

00:55:12privacy

00:55:13or anything

00:55:13But they were already saying

00:55:14who were homosexuals

00:55:16this

00:55:16and it kept happening

00:55:18time

00:55:18and it passed

00:55:19I mean

00:55:20really

00:55:20this

00:55:21affirmed his identity

00:55:23for the same reason

00:55:25what we say

00:55:25which is a crisis

00:55:26identity

00:55:27and right now

00:55:27society

00:55:28he tells them

00:55:28that homosexuality

00:55:29It's very well regarded.

00:55:31TRUE

00:55:31inclusive

00:55:32this

00:55:33I mean

00:55:34They show favoritism

00:55:36TRUE

00:55:36for being homosexual

00:55:37I mean

00:55:37They see you as better

00:55:38TRUE

00:55:38that if you have

00:55:39a heterosexual couple

00:55:40this

00:55:41So then they

00:55:42they get confused

00:55:43TRUE

00:55:43obviously

00:55:44they get confused

00:55:44It's a crisis

00:55:45identity

00:55:46But if you

00:55:47at home

00:55:48you give it to him

00:55:48a good image

00:55:50TRUE

00:55:50from you as a man

00:55:51you as a woman

00:55:52you as husbands

00:55:53the relationship they have

00:55:54among you

00:55:55this

00:55:56do not criticize

00:55:58do not despise

00:55:59to the people

00:55:59which has

00:56:01this type of situation

00:56:02TRUE

00:56:02because we know

00:56:03which also

00:56:04We must respect

00:56:05We must love

00:56:05but not

00:56:07Well, don't allow it.

00:56:08neither

00:56:09TRUE

00:56:09I mean

00:56:09to recognize that that goes

00:56:11against the plan

00:56:12of God

00:56:12God made us men

00:56:14He made us women

00:56:15and so the woman

00:56:17She has to love a man

00:56:18and it has to be complemented

00:56:19physically and emotionally

00:56:21and form a couple

00:56:22with someone

00:56:23of their other sex

00:56:25that is, of the opposite sex

00:56:26so

00:56:26this

00:56:28well

00:56:28delve

00:56:30delve deeper into the situation

00:56:31above all

00:56:32TRUE

00:56:32and ask for help

00:56:33when no longer

00:56:34So, here then

00:56:35I think that

00:56:36part of what we said

00:56:37It applies very well.

00:56:39in that questioning

00:56:40What can I tell you?

00:56:40which is also a reality

00:56:41because right now

00:56:43It's really cool

00:56:43that

00:56:44TRUE

00:56:44I mean

00:56:44Here are the details

00:56:46It is first of all

00:56:47love

00:56:47love above all

00:56:49I mean

00:56:50whatever I do

00:56:51whatever happens

00:56:52He must feel

00:56:54much loved

00:56:55But as Laura said

00:56:57in the end

00:56:58the truth

00:56:58it's the truth

00:56:59Let me explain

00:57:00so

00:57:00the truth

00:57:02Neither did we.

00:57:03we can hide it

00:57:05but

00:57:06we were talking

00:57:07of a communication

00:57:08where

00:57:09where I can go

00:57:11without that being the case

00:57:14so

00:57:14so direct

00:57:16I can go

00:57:17carrying it

00:57:17so that I understand

00:57:18how to live

00:57:20OK

00:57:20to that reality

00:57:21TRUE

00:57:22we know that those who

00:57:23They choose that reality.

00:57:25because, in the end

00:57:27They have very hard lives

00:57:28They have lives

00:57:29very difficult

00:57:30They should be loved

00:57:32They should be helped

00:57:33They should be integrated

00:57:35But ultimately

00:57:37the choice they had

00:57:39It was a choice

00:57:40this

00:57:41of not following God

00:57:43Let me explain

00:57:44so

00:57:44as such

00:57:45our responsibility

00:57:46as parents

00:57:47which is taking us

00:57:49to our children

00:57:50bye

00:57:51Well, it does have to have it.

00:57:52a

00:57:52a very important one

00:57:54attention

00:57:54these kinds of realities

00:57:56TRUE?

00:57:56and first let's leave

00:57:58to

00:57:59human

00:58:01TRUE?

00:58:01before the spiritual

00:58:02I mean

00:58:03OK

00:58:04You say you're gay

00:58:05Well

00:58:06How do you see yourself?

00:58:07in the future?

00:58:07I mean

00:58:08Do you want to have a family?

00:58:09Do you want to have children?

00:58:11either

00:58:11that

00:58:12What does this mean to you?

00:58:13Well

00:58:13No

00:58:14with a man

00:58:15or with someone

00:58:16of your same sex

00:58:17You're not going to make it

00:58:18TRUE?

00:58:18I mean

00:58:18never

00:58:19never

00:58:19TRUE?

00:58:20A man is required

00:58:21and a woman

00:58:21in order to have a child

00:58:22I mean

00:58:23they will be able to adopt

00:58:24but it is not

00:58:24That's not really natural.

00:58:26I mean

00:58:26It is not a natural family

00:58:27so

00:58:28well then

00:58:29as Ricardo says

00:58:30that they see

00:58:31the consequences

00:58:32TRUE?

00:58:32is really

00:58:33a path

00:58:33of a lot of frustration

00:58:35of much pain

00:58:35more than tell them

00:58:37It is a sin

00:58:38You're going to be out

00:58:40of the church

00:58:40well, tell them

00:58:41you're not really going to be

00:58:44completely happy

00:58:45I mean

00:58:46You can't be happy

00:58:47going against

00:58:48of what is your nature

00:58:49oh well

00:58:51also then

00:58:51ask sometimes

00:58:52professional help

00:58:54TRUE?

00:58:55Christian professional

00:58:56careful

00:58:57Yeah

00:58:57because that's really where

00:58:58if we leave

00:58:59with a psychologist

00:59:01with a therapist

00:59:03Yeah

00:59:03Maybe he'll say

00:59:04fulfill yourself

00:59:06as you wish

00:59:06TRUE?

00:59:07and if

00:59:08It gets more complicated.

00:59:09the situation

00:59:09another question

00:59:11says

00:59:11Is it a good idea to tell him

00:59:12to the children

00:59:13of the problems

00:59:14that happen to one

00:59:16As a father?

00:59:18Yeah

00:59:19but even

00:59:20certain level

00:59:21I mean

00:59:22They have to

00:59:24They need to understand

00:59:25that we

00:59:26We are human

00:59:27because according to

00:59:28I'm telling you

00:59:29They go

00:59:29starting to leave

00:59:30adolescence

00:59:31say

00:59:32entering adolescence

00:59:33They begin to realize

00:59:35of our miseries

00:59:36TRUE?

00:59:36I mean

00:59:37We are not those supermen

00:59:39that they thought

00:59:40who were like parents

00:59:41at eight years old

00:59:42And it's good.

00:59:44it's good

00:59:45that they

00:59:45go find

00:59:46us

00:59:47someone who

00:59:48is in the fight

00:59:49because it is precisely

00:59:51when they see you fight

00:59:53like them

00:59:54They're going to learn

00:59:55to fight

00:59:55And you're going to learn

00:59:57to fight

00:59:57You're going to teach them

00:59:59to fight

00:59:59to take out

01:00:00daily bread

01:00:01so as not to sin

01:00:03to love

01:00:04to your wife

01:00:05for

01:00:06for

01:00:07be a better person

01:00:09to do better

01:00:10question

01:00:10so

01:00:10I find it very valid

01:00:12that you go

01:00:14teaching your child

01:00:15and keep him informed

01:00:17your struggles

01:00:18TRUE?

01:00:18Obviously not all

01:00:19probably

01:00:22maturity

01:00:22of them

01:00:22They won't understand.

01:00:24but you

01:00:25You discern.

01:00:26which are those

01:00:27that

01:00:27They can leave him

01:00:29to your son

01:00:30items

01:00:32by when

01:00:33he touches her

01:00:33the fight

01:00:34one of the

01:00:34precisely

01:00:35of the

01:00:36issues

01:00:37who live

01:00:37the

01:00:38new generations

01:00:40They just don't know

01:00:41struggle

01:00:42They don't know how to fight.

01:00:43so

01:00:44It's good

01:00:47important

01:00:47that we

01:00:48We will show them

01:00:49how to fight

01:00:50for that

01:00:51also

01:00:52It is communication

01:00:54TRUE?

01:00:54here for example

01:00:55It's different.

01:00:57when they arrive

01:00:58to the youth

01:00:59in adolescence

01:01:00as Ricardo says

01:01:01I mean

01:01:02you can't open

01:01:02100%

01:01:03You can't either

01:01:04telling lies

01:01:05TRUE?

01:01:05I mean

01:01:06if they ask you

01:01:07so openly

01:01:08Hey Dad

01:01:09And a little bit

01:01:09Did you never smoke?

01:01:12because maybe

01:01:13you want to educate them

01:01:14and tell them not to smoke

01:01:15which is not good

01:01:16for your health

01:01:16And you smoked too.

01:01:18TRUE?

01:01:19I mean

01:01:19and you can't tell them

01:01:20No

01:01:20I never did

01:01:21well no

01:01:22Yes, son.

01:01:23Yes, I did.

01:01:24And I realized

01:01:25which was not good

01:01:25TRUE?

01:01:26I mean

01:01:26this

01:01:27Look at your grandpa

01:01:28died of cancer

01:01:29in the lung

01:01:30TRUE?

01:01:30Well, I realized

01:01:31which was not good

01:01:32I want to convey to you

01:01:33same to you

01:01:34Because I love you

01:01:34TRUE?

01:01:36this

01:01:36But if a moment comes

01:01:39in which we need to open up

01:01:40TRUE?

01:01:41And they have to see it too.

01:01:42well, for us

01:01:43It was difficult

01:01:43because then they feel

01:01:45who are very bad

01:01:46TRUE?

01:01:46in this crisis

01:01:47that are happening

01:01:48they say

01:01:49Oh dear

01:01:49I mean

01:01:49I'm winning.

01:01:51the world

01:01:51TRUE?

01:01:52this

01:01:53I remember

01:01:53my daughter

01:01:54a moment came

01:01:55in which he began to discover

01:01:56how difficult it was

01:01:58because finding men

01:01:59this

01:02:00chaste

01:02:01TRUE?

01:02:02men who followed

01:02:02the way of God

01:02:04this

01:02:04that they didn't watch pornography

01:02:06I don't know

01:02:06people that she

01:02:07Well, everything that has happened

01:02:08learning

01:02:10on our journey

01:02:11TRUE?

01:02:11as a family

01:02:12then he arrived

01:02:13at an age

01:02:15where it said

01:02:15Well, this can't be done

01:02:17TRUE?

01:02:17It's like, very suitable

01:02:18very idealistic

01:02:19and asked him openly

01:02:21to his dad

01:02:21I mean, he told her

01:02:22dad

01:02:23So let me talk

01:02:25It was really interesting

01:02:27she

01:02:28It was like he wasn't visible

01:02:29Oh wow

01:02:30Maybe he's watching me

01:02:31my daughter

01:02:31oh well

01:02:32this

01:02:33which serves as testimony

01:02:34It turns out that

01:02:36that we saw

01:02:37Like, no

01:02:38I didn't have it, like,

01:02:40intentions to have a boyfriend

01:02:41I was already there

01:02:42had left adolescence

01:02:44and so on

01:02:45like what

01:02:45because?

01:02:46And yes, as Laura says

01:02:47I mean, that's it.

01:02:48all the boys

01:02:49with which

01:02:50this

01:02:50I've gone out

01:02:52well everyone

01:02:53or they want sex

01:02:55or do they want this

01:02:56or they want the other thing

01:02:57And well, no.

01:02:58to be honest no

01:02:59It's not what I'm looking for

01:03:01I want someone

01:03:01this serious

01:03:03someone Catholic

01:03:04someone who follows Christ

01:03:05And well, no.

01:03:05I haven't found it

01:03:06everyone then

01:03:07pure sex

01:03:08pure pornography

01:03:09hey

01:03:10I was driving with her

01:03:12this

01:03:13We were going for lions

01:03:14if the people who are

01:03:17that knows the west

01:03:17He knows how to get lions

01:03:19And we were going and suddenly

01:03:20My daughter lets me have it.

01:03:22Hey daddy

01:03:23this

01:03:24And what were you like?

01:03:24at this age

01:03:25You were thinking about that too.

01:03:27balls

01:03:28And with this, that

01:03:31because you follow Christ

01:03:32and you're already looking

01:03:33that conversion process

01:03:35you say

01:03:35because I can't lie

01:03:37TRUE?

01:03:37Well, me too.

01:03:39my daughter when she was

01:03:40this

01:03:41at that age

01:03:42Well, yes, also

01:03:42really, if you were looking

01:03:44to the girl most

01:03:45well more

01:03:46pretty girl

01:03:47So

01:03:47and listen

01:03:49if I were trying to...

01:03:50to accelerate

01:03:51and lions standing

01:03:52She wanted to arrive

01:03:53to the house

01:03:54and suddenly

01:03:55It skips me again.

01:03:57Let's see, Dad.

01:03:58But let's see.

01:03:59then when you

01:04:00You were dating my mom

01:04:02You loved her

01:04:03kissing

01:04:04and you wanted

01:04:05Oh

01:04:06Oh

01:04:06because it didn't arrive

01:04:09and it didn't arrive

01:04:10And yes

01:04:10That's true.

01:04:11I mean

01:04:12But let's see, Dad

01:04:13And then she lets me go.

01:04:15in the end

01:04:15so

01:04:16let's see

01:04:17But you ever

01:04:18You watched pornography

01:04:19And well, the truth is

01:04:20Yes, I had seen

01:04:21as a teenager

01:04:22and as a young man

01:04:23TRUE?

01:04:24So I tell him

01:04:25because you know that

01:04:26my daughter did

01:04:27I watched pornography

01:04:28when I was

01:04:29well young man

01:04:30TRUE?

01:04:31No way, man.

01:04:32She started to cry

01:04:33pretend

01:04:33that Superman

01:04:35that she knew

01:04:36it fell apart

01:04:38TRUE?

01:04:38I mean

01:04:39I was

01:04:40the idol he had

01:04:42like man

01:04:43looking for a man

01:04:45like his father

01:04:46fell

01:04:46because he realized

01:04:47of my reality

01:04:48TRUE?

01:04:49a reality

01:04:50of a person

01:04:50ordinary

01:04:52with sins

01:04:53who had a youth

01:04:54Well, with the hormone.

01:04:56TRUE?

01:04:56before meeting

01:04:57before meeting

01:04:58to Christ

01:04:59Let me explain

01:04:59so

01:05:00she

01:05:01she discovered

01:05:03then

01:05:03difficult for me

01:05:04my weaknesses

01:05:06TRUE?

01:05:06and my

01:05:08sins

01:05:09although they had already been

01:05:11forgiven

01:05:11They kept chasing me

01:05:12TRUE?

01:05:13but that he

01:05:14So you told him

01:05:14Okay, but that's it.

01:05:15following the path

01:05:16of the Lord

01:05:16Well, obviously

01:05:17That stays

01:05:18falls behind

01:05:19that's how it is

01:05:19that's where it comes from

01:05:20That's where it comes from.

01:05:21now yes

01:05:21We're back to square one.

01:05:23to the part

01:05:24educational

01:05:25TRUE?

01:05:26I fell

01:05:27I made a mistake

01:05:28I apologized.

01:05:29And I haven't done it again.

01:05:31TRUE?

01:05:32and if God allows it

01:05:34I'll never do it again

01:05:35and that

01:05:36that really

01:05:37that's what they

01:05:39they are evaluating

01:05:39because they

01:05:40They're going to fall too

01:05:41And they're going to be wrong.

01:05:42And they're going to realize it

01:05:44with God

01:05:45if possible

01:05:45to get ahead

01:05:46Yeah

01:05:47but it's a

01:05:48eternal

01:05:49struggle

01:05:50TRUE?

01:05:50So I think

01:05:50that going

01:05:51that they see

01:05:52your weakness

01:05:53Well, here you go

01:05:53to teach

01:05:54also

01:05:55TRUE?

01:05:55that they

01:05:56go

01:05:56achieving that strength

01:05:58to face

01:05:59because their own

01:06:00weaknesses

01:06:01so

01:06:02Yeah

01:06:02Yes, it's part of it.

01:06:03of communication

01:06:04the one they see

01:06:04your weaknesses

01:06:05your problems

01:06:06You have to go

01:06:07dosing

01:06:08or seeing him

01:06:09age

01:06:09of the children

01:06:09TRUE?

01:06:10but

01:06:11above all

01:06:12by teaching them

01:06:12Yes, it can be done

01:06:13TRUE?

01:06:14and that the Lord

01:06:14for he is merciful

01:06:16compassionate

01:06:17that forgives you

01:06:18that tolerates you

01:06:18and that he loves you

01:06:20what are you like

01:06:20but what does he want?

01:06:21the best

01:06:21for you

01:06:22TRUE?

01:06:22so

01:06:22that having done that

01:06:24It wasn't the best

01:06:25TRUE?

01:06:25that you got out of that

01:06:26and now you are

01:06:27on a better path

01:06:29Well

01:06:29And finally

01:06:32They're asking us for a recommendation.

01:06:33We'll get them there.

01:06:35to owe

01:06:35I hope that's the way it is.

01:06:37we can send them to you

01:06:37by some means

01:06:38I don't know if they can leave

01:06:39some email

01:06:40or something

01:06:41they ask us

01:06:41some book

01:06:44that they recommend

01:06:44to talk

01:06:45with our children

01:06:46about sexuality

01:06:47and current problems

01:06:48of adolescence

01:06:49leave me

01:06:50We investigated them

01:06:52TRUE?

01:06:52and to give them

01:06:53a good recommendation

01:06:54also that it is

01:06:55attached

01:06:57to what the church

01:06:59it marks us

01:06:59TRUE?

01:07:00And with pleasure.

01:07:01We will send them to you.

01:07:02TRUE?

01:07:03and so

01:07:04We said goodbye

01:07:05already the

01:07:06We take them very much

01:07:07of his time

01:07:08We appreciate it.

01:07:09a lot

01:07:10we are really

01:07:11for us

01:07:12It was something

01:07:13very beautiful

01:07:15that they invited us

01:07:16Let's hope we've been

01:07:17support

01:07:18for you

01:07:19We are at your service.

01:07:20And remember then

01:07:21Active Evangelization

01:07:23this

01:07:23We are very grateful.

01:07:25with all of you

01:07:26TRUE?

01:07:26all the people

01:07:27that makes possible

01:07:28this great work

01:07:29TRUE?

01:07:30that Father Ernesto

01:07:31Maria Caro

01:07:32and the whole team

01:07:33well

01:07:33day by day

01:07:35they fight

01:07:35for bringing evangelization

01:07:37through all

01:07:38these means

01:07:38They need your support.

01:07:41thank you so much

01:07:42and this type

01:07:44of sessions

01:07:44this type of courses

01:07:45Well, it's a little bit

01:07:47to repay them

01:07:48and thank them

01:07:49the much

01:07:50So you guys

01:07:51They are doing

01:07:51for this work

01:07:52so

01:07:53stay alert

01:07:54to these invitations

01:07:55There will be

01:07:55different sessions

01:07:56this

01:07:57attend

01:07:58TRUE?

01:07:59it's worth it

01:08:00and well

01:08:00Thank you very much.

01:08:01that the Lord

01:08:02God bless you

01:08:02and so

01:08:03I hope that

01:08:04allow us

01:08:06TRUE?

01:08:06allow them

01:08:07to you

01:08:07now that they are

01:08:08parents of teenagers

01:08:09and of young people

01:08:10to achieve this

01:08:11good communication

01:08:12This communication

01:08:13fury

01:08:14this

01:08:15and in the light of God

01:08:16with their children

01:08:17at this stage

01:08:18of life

01:08:19blessings

01:08:19thank you

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