- 5 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Go, Jimmy.
00:03Erm, yes.
00:06Hi, we are Jimmy and Rebecca, the Walker family.
00:09And we love having loads of kids.
00:14The Walkers are our best friends.
00:16We have been through an awful lot together.
00:21The Walkers have always been there for us
00:23and we've always tried to be there for them,
00:25especially with what they're going through with Sophie.
00:28But it's so hard.
00:34Sophie's been fighting this for just short of six years.
00:42Sometimes you just don't know what you can do to help.
00:45It's just, it's just so difficult.
00:47We're not coping very well, are we?
00:48We don't cope at all, do we?
00:50You just can't see a future without Sophie involved.
00:54I think it would just completely break our family
00:56and totally tear it apart.
00:59You've just got to be there for your friends
01:01as much as you possibly can.
01:02Sophie, yay!
01:04This is a film about life
01:06and the people who help us get through it.
01:08I'm so sorry to hear that, Jamie.
01:22That's devastating.
01:24Oh, God.
01:25Noel and Sue's best friends, Jamie and Rebecca,
01:31have called with the news that their 17-year-old daughter, Sophie,
01:34has been admitted to hospital.
01:37Monday evening, she started to feel like a lot of pain
01:41and Jamie and Rebecca couldn't really get on top of the pain for her.
01:44Come Tuesday morning, she was really poorly, wasn't she?
01:49So they took her in Tuesday morning, took her into A&E.
01:54Obviously, Jamie and Rebecca are in absolute bits.
01:57Sophie's been crying because she doesn't know what's going on.
01:59I think she's frightened of what could happen.
02:01She's scared.
02:02They know we're here, if there's anything we can do to help them,
02:06but, like, you do feel a bit...helpless.
02:14Hit myself.
02:19Friendships are often forged in the good times,
02:22but it's only during the bad times that they prove their worth,
02:26as the last few years have shown.
02:29Come on, then. Go and knock on the door.
02:33Hello!
02:36Invasion time.
02:38We try to visit the Walkers as much as possible,
02:40or they try to visit us as much as possible.
02:42Are you all right?
02:43Yes, thanks to you.
02:44Yeah, not badly.
02:45Just nice where we've got similar age groups and kids,
02:47so they'll all go off and do their own thing.
02:49Hello, it's 62!
02:53The Walkers have ten children,
02:55including Sophie and her twin, Megan.
02:59But for the last few years,
03:00Sophie has been fighting serious illness.
03:03Has it got a name yet?
03:05No.
03:06The names are in the running.
03:07You don't want to call her Missy.
03:08That's cute.
03:09Megan wants to call her Lola.
03:12When Sophie was ten,
03:13she was diagnosed with a Wilms tumour,
03:16which is a rare form of kidney cancer.
03:19It is the big series.
03:22Yeah.
03:23They're massive.
03:24What's the size of that?
03:25How do they work?
03:26Since then, she's spent a lot of her childhood
03:29in and out of hospital receiving treatment.
03:32Sophie's been fighting this for just short of six years.
03:36She's had just short of maybe like 40 rounds of chemotherapy.
03:41Mm-hmm.
03:42I don't think I could go through what she has.
03:44Never say anything.
03:45She's done.
03:46It's immense, really.
03:47It is.
03:49Throughout it all,
03:50Sophie has simply tried to live a normal life.
03:54She's still the same old Sophie that I've known for years.
03:57That's Sophie's little car.
03:58It's really an icy car, isn't it?
03:59It's true, isn't it?
04:00I think I'm a good driver.
04:01It's just the steering.
04:02The steering is pretty key.
04:04Like, I can move it around,
04:05but apparently I just twist my arms.
04:08She takes it all in her straight.
04:09Just gets on with it, don't you?
04:10I think I'm a normal 16-year-old.
04:12Sophie's incredible.
04:13You know, she never lets things get her down.
04:14She's always really, really positive about the future.
04:17I think I'm a normal 16-year-old.
04:19Sophie's incredible.
04:20You know, she never lets things get her down.
04:22She's always really, really positive about the future.
04:26No, no, no, stop. It's embarrassing.
04:30But our whole family have just been amazing throughout it all,
04:33but Jamie and Rebecca in particular
04:35have just been the two most strongest people that I know.
04:40I don't think we're holding onto false hope.
04:42I think genuinely that it still can be cured.
04:45We just believe that Sophie's a fighter, which is.
04:48Mm-hm.
04:49And she can.
04:51By the end of 2023,
04:53after trialling a new and unproven treatment...
04:56Okay, then.
04:57The vitamin C that I get for a candle on twice a week.
05:02Sophie's life seemed to be on the up.
05:05The vitamin C's keeping her well enough to tolerate chemo.
05:08We've seen an immediate difference.
05:09Literally, straight away, you can see her colour changing.
05:12You can see her perking up.
05:14She's been able to live her normal life as a teenager.
05:17She went to Leeds Festival.
05:18Doing driving lessons.
05:20And when's your turn?
05:21January.
05:22Ooh!
05:23I'm so gonna feel it.
05:25She had a date. She had a guy.
05:27She was six foot four.
05:29Listen, I hope you weren't kissing in that room.
05:31I wasn't.
05:32But now, Sophie's future looks uncertain.
05:47The CT scan has shown that the spinal tumour's grown, hasn't it?
05:52Is that what it is?
05:53Mm-hm.
05:54So, Sophie's paralysed from, like, this area down and she can't...
05:58She can't walk, can't she?
05:59She can't walk, can't she?
06:00She can barely walk at all, if anything, yeah.
06:02Mm-hm.
06:03Rebecca is a bit kind of like, we've just got to get her past this
06:08and then hopefully then we can build her back up again.
06:25Millie, what are you doing? Are you staying here or are you going back?
06:27What?
06:28You are.
06:29Yeah?
06:30Thinking my head's about to explode.
06:34An update from the walkers means it's all systems go in the Radford house.
06:39Sophie's coming home.
06:41She's been in hospital for this last week or two, hasn't she?
06:43Well, she's coming home today, so I said, we'll go up and see them.
06:47But we'll just decide if we can get ready in time to get out.
06:52Eventually, the Radfords hit the road.
06:55We're not scared.
06:56Can you get the ball?
07:02It's a three-hour drive to the walkers' house in Edinburgh and Noel and Sue don't know what to expect when they get there.
07:08Because even though she's been allowed home, Sophie's health is deteriorating.
07:13I think it's really important that myself and Sue go up and support the Jane and Rebecca and the rest of the family.
07:23I would imagine their heads are all over the place and just being stressed and worried and whatever else must be going on in their heads.
07:33It's just a difficult time at the minute.
07:36You know, we've got so many children like we have and like Jane and Rebecca have.
07:40Your chances, I guess, of one of the children being poorly or ill is definitely a higher statistic, isn't it?
07:49You know, which is a worrying thing.
07:52Things like this with Sophie.
07:55It all brings it home.
07:58The tumour on Sophie's spine means she's unable to walk and is confined to her bed.
08:22Sophie.
08:23Sophie.
08:24Sophie.
08:25Sophie.
08:26Sophie.
08:27Sophie.
08:28Sophie.
08:29Sophie.
08:30Sophie.
08:31Where's Sophie?
08:32Sophie.
08:33Where is she?
08:34Hey.
08:35How are we?
08:37Seeing Sophie like that was really...
08:40It was very upsetting, wasn't it?
08:41Really upsetting.
08:42Yeah.
08:43It's just so tough on the family.
08:45You know, I know it's incredibly difficult for Sophie, but when you see the family as well, it's just as high on them as well, you know.
08:51She loves, like, the bee or the foxes were her first ever ones, I think.
09:01What do you think of when you look at these?
09:04Masterpiece.
09:05Masterpieces.
09:06The stress and worry is taking its toll on Jamie and Rebecca.
09:12We're not coping very well, are we?
09:13We don't cope at all, do we?
09:14She's putting a lot of pressure on us, a lot of pressure on the kids.
09:15Yeah.
09:16We're just keeping her feet across now.
09:17Yeah.
09:18We're just sitting, researching, looking for any answers, anything that's going to help.
09:21Just any little bit of hope, really.
09:22Anything, yeah.
09:23When we've got some hope, we're functioning a bit better.
09:24Yeah.
09:25It's just...
09:26Do you really just think, like, how would we function as parents to look after all our
09:32kids?
09:33You just can't see a future without Sophie involved.
09:34I think it would just completely break our family and totally tear it apart.
09:40Maybe we're just, like, clinging on to hope and...
09:41Maybe we're just, like, clinging on to hope and...
09:42I think it would just completely break our family and totally tear it apart.
10:03Maybe we're just, like, clinging on to hope and...
10:09But there is hope there, though, isn't there?
10:14And I think we all just have to stay really positive, don't we?
10:18Back at the caravan park where they're staying, Noel and Sue reflect on how their friends are
10:29coping.
10:30Seeing Jamie and Rebecca, so upset and just really vulnerable, weren't they, really?
10:36It was very upsetting, wasn't it?
10:38Yeah.
10:39I've never seen Jamie like this before.
10:44He's upset.
10:45He's been upset quite a few times today.
10:47And it's just...
10:48You don't want to see any of your friends or family like that.
10:51They've got no control over anything, have they?
10:53No.
10:54You know, they're at the mercy of, you know, doctors and...
10:57Well, a miracle, really, aren't they?
11:03Jamie is pretty stressed.
11:05He is trying to keep everything going.
11:09He doesn't talk a lot about his feelings.
11:12And you can tell when he's struggling because he gets...
11:15He just goes quiet.
11:16Really, really quiet.
11:18But he focuses on Sophie, so it helps him get through every day.
11:26And you pull over the top.
11:27Right.
11:28And you pull over the top.
11:29Right.
11:30And you pull over the top.
11:37In Morecambe, the Radfords are still waiting for any updates on Sophie Walker's condition.
11:46But until then, daily life rolls on.
11:50When you've got a big family, you don't have the time to think about things quite as much
11:56because there's just so much to do, isn't there?
11:58So you've still got to go to work.
11:59The kids still need to go to school.
12:01Even though your head is all over the place, there's no other option but to carry on.
12:06As hard as it might be, the regularity of day-to-day life during tough times can be a welcome distraction.
12:13I say thing.
12:15I say thing.
12:16Whether it's looking after the kids or the canine members of the family.
12:22My top three favourite dogs are Lola, Nelly and Mabel.
12:31Mabel is cute and she's quiet.
12:34My favourite dog is Cookie.
12:36You can hold her like a baby and it's really nice.
12:39I bet the dogs 100,000,000.
12:43All together there are four sausage dogs, three Frenchies and Lola the sheepdog.
12:51Making the Radford pack eight dogs strong.
12:54We've all got one each.
12:56What are you doing?
12:57Hang on, I've got a lady and no dog.
13:00It's very rewarding having them because they give you lots of love.
13:04They're very loyal.
13:05They are very loyal.
13:06And they don't answer you back ever, which is definitely a bonus.
13:10Well, today might test their good nature because it's time for their annual check-up at the vets.
13:17How old's Dolly?
13:18So Dolly's two.
13:19For Noel and Sue, the dogs are not just for fun.
13:23They can also teach the kids important life lessons.
13:28It is definitely a bit like parenting, isn't it?
13:30Making sure that they're fed healthy and well behaved.
13:35I think, oh, okay, okay.
13:37She says I don't want them to be touched like, okay.
13:42I think it just teaches the kids, you know, there's something else to look after.
13:45It's not just themselves.
13:47This thing needs care and looking after.
13:50Are you braver than your sister?
13:52The sausage dogs have all been given a clean bill of health.
13:56Just Mabel the Frenchie to go.
14:00Gosh, she just sounds like a steam change, doesn't she?
14:03Good girl, Mabel.
14:05And do you mind turning that light off?
14:07That's a grill.
14:08It does look as if she's got a cataract.
14:12That will effectively stop her being able to see anything.
14:15It's unwelcome news at an already difficult time.
14:19It's not obviously causing her pain, so we might decide to just monitor it.
14:24But obviously if it starts in the other eye, then that would affect her quality of life a lot more.
14:28Let me know how you get on with her then.
14:31Yeah, we'll do.
14:32Bye.
14:33Come on then.
14:36Back at home, Noel is explaining Mabel's condition to the kids.
14:42What's wrong with Mabel's eye?
14:44She's got, I think it's called a cataract.
14:46But luckily her other eye is perfectly fine.
14:49So the vet says we can have it operated on, or we can just leave it for now.
14:55Is she going to get a new eye?
14:56No, they don't get a new eye.
14:57No, they don't get a new eye.
14:58They just fix the milky creamy cloud.
15:00Are they going to get it out?
15:01Yeah.
15:02How do they get it out?
15:03Well, I don't know.
15:04Well, she goes blind.
15:05Well, she won't go blind overnight quickly.
15:08We'll be able to see that this eye is starting to get a bit like that, but not quite as bad.
15:13No more, won't it?
15:14I wonder how she got it.
15:15It's just one of them things that naturally happens.
15:18I think it's important that kids understand illness, life, you know, and I think coming through one of your pets is probably easier to deal with than it is one of your family members, isn't it?
15:31Although that's what she is.
15:32What is she got from pain?
15:35She's not in any pain.
15:37She's not suffering at all.
15:38It just means that she can't see out of that one eye.
15:41Can the doctors fix everything?
15:44Unfortunately not, Phoebe.
15:46No.
15:47Doctors try the best to fix things, but sometimes just some things can't ever be fixed.
16:01Up in Edinburgh, Sophie's back in hospital.
16:15Jamie and Rebecca just, no matter what they do, just can't get her comfortable at home, so...
16:20And Sophie, on Sophie's request as well, that she wants to go back into hospital.
16:26Jamie and Rebecca are by Sophie's side.
16:31Keeping the Radfords updated.
16:40Rebecca's just put a post up saying, Sophie's very sleepy with all the medication.
16:44I know everyone's desperate for an update, but I'm too scared to write anything at this point.
16:53Just keep praying for her.
16:55She is very weak and we are trying our hardest.
17:00She is so happy that she had a post.
17:02She has the best to leave her.
17:03She is very weak and we are trying to get a post.
17:04She does not have a post.
17:05Um...
17:06She is very friendly and that's not fair to me.
17:07If she is a question, Sophie will be continued...
17:09She is very brave.
17:10She is very brave.
17:11She has a post-for-under.
17:12She is a post-for-under.
17:13She is very blue and she is very good.
17:14I got the text from Jamie that we've just been absolutely dreading basically he said Sophie's
17:38gone and hopefully to a better place you know and that was it it's just it doesn't feel right does
17:46it you know the 17 year old daughter's been taken away from them Phoebus just came into the room and
17:56said Sophie's passed away don't don't really believe her don't really want to believe her
18:03she was it should just like a sister to most of us I'm trying to distract myself and just yeah
18:11I just don't I don't want it to be in my mind all the time
18:16I didn't expect anything like this to happen didn't especially on Alfie's birthday I didn't
18:25Alfie is Noel and Sue's 10th son he was stillborn and today would have been his 10th birthday
18:34Rebecca has messaged me to say that our babies will forever share this day
18:40Sophie's went up into heaven where Alfie is in a good place and hopefully Alfie can make her happy
18:50for Noel and Sue explaining what's happened to the children with such a range of ages is not easy
18:58obviously the older ones understand the teenagers and things like that but to the likes of you know
19:05Hallie Phoebe actually Bonnie they don't quite understand it the same do they but of course
19:13Noel and Sue's biggest concern right now is for the walkers
19:16I just I do worry about Jamie Rebecca and the rest of the family how they're going to cope and
19:23just you know get on with life because everything they do now is going to be without Sophie
19:46it's lovely that you get flowers but it's heartbreaking why you're getting the flowers so it's you know
19:56dad's really open with his emotions but mum's a bit like us she doesn't like to cry in front of people
20:05or like dad he just openly shares his emotions and cries wherever he is
20:16as much as we pulled er as we're not going to let you die you know it was all taken away from us
20:34it's the day before Sophie's funeral
20:57I didn't think this day would ever come you always thought you know she's gonna get better and live
21:07her life and yet here we are I don't know what to write
21:14what's your funniest memory with her ahead of the funeral Ellie and Amy have been given a very
21:25special job to do Jamie and Rebecca just wanted one of her one of Sophie's friends just to speak
21:31at a funeral so we said we will willingly do it yeah so you would have never thought that we'll be
21:39writing a goodbye to Sophie when she's so young had a whole life ahead of her yeah I think that's why
21:49it's so hard to write like we don't want to talk about the bad things because it's already going to
21:57be a sad thing so we're trying to put memories in it but trying to not have it we want to just remind
22:04people what Sophie was like and let everyone know that Sophie was a happy normal teenager oh I'm
22:14extremely proud of Amy and Ellie want to get up and speak but I couldn't do it absolutely but they
22:19really really want they want to do it no matter how difficult it will be there they're gonna do it
22:24knowing that you're saying goodbye is really hard yeah it's not nice
22:33are you okay
22:39do you want to take a break
22:43grief is always going to be hard but focusing on the good times that you've had and it can you know
22:51it can really help especially no matter what age you are yeah I remember when she fell down the
22:57stairs in her washing basket yes we was experimenting first it was blankets and then
23:02mattresses and then we thought let's go in for a washing basket and it failed really badly
23:07how old is she about eight nine you still laugh just as hard as when you when you first saw it
23:15it's just hysterical then she went running to mum and sat on mum's knee
23:18oh it's so funny Sophie loved that memory as well
23:48Jane and Rebecca it's a real testing difficult time for them we hope that in some way you know what the
24:04funeral will help them to come to terms to deal with to grieve you know with the passing of Sophie
24:12you need to get past the funeral to be able to grieve don't you sometimes
24:25Ellie and Amy are reading the speeches they spent all night writing
24:31we have so many memories together like me falling off that big chair at the caravan site and us laughing
24:39uncontrollably I was all planning on moving into a house together when we got older but the one
24:47that sticks out to me the most is the day I met you's up
24:49the day I knew I would have you as my friend forever I'll love you so much and the way you
25:05would laugh and smile would light up the room we were really proud of Sophie when she stepped in
25:10to help when Amy got upset and she couldn't really get her words out you'll always be
25:15remembered forever and always and your presence in my life meant more to me than you will ever know
25:22I will forever be proud and blessed to have had you as a mate and one of my best friends this
25:34isn't a good bye it's I will see you again I love you Sophie
25:37I think it did give us a little bit closure didn't it
26:06no
26:09the funeral was just a formality that you have to do
26:23and now she's in the ground and it's just horrible
26:31cool Jimmy
26:32yes Rebecca no you're going to no come on
26:38no come on okay hi we are Jimmy Rebecca the Walker family and we love having loads of kids
26:45and we love having loads of kids
26:52Jamie and Rebecca are dealing with their loss in very different ways
26:59you tend to sit and look at Sophie's phone don't you I look at Sophie's phone don't you I look at Sophie's phone or
27:06you know punish myself really but it's not a feeling of wanting to go away you
27:09Jamie and Rebecca are dealing with their loss in very different ways
27:21You tend to sit and look at Sophie's phone, don't you?
27:28Yeah, I look at Sophie's phone or, you know, punish myself really
27:32But it's not a feeling I want it to go away
27:35You don't want it to not hurt
27:37Because you don't forget about her
27:40Yeah, see, I think that's where I'm different
27:42I like to try and think of the more positive, you know, memories
27:46And I like to focus on the memories we do have with Sophie
27:49And the times we did have with her
27:53Grief is so individual
27:55My grief is not the same
27:57It's not Rebecca's grief, hers is different than mine
28:00And all the kids are different
28:02Well, it is a worry that, you know, what effect is going to have Jane, Rebecca and the rest of the family
28:11There's no right or wrong way for grief, is there?
28:13You know, you can't say how you're going to grieve
28:16Here, try your chips
28:18Try these
28:19But you do worry
28:22Because it can either tear you apart
28:26And you go totally different directions
28:29Or it can make you stronger as a couple
28:31I am so angry at times
28:41I'm angry at the fact that she's dead
28:44She should not be dead
28:46There's times I could just scream and smash a place up
28:50That rage is there
28:54But, you know, who can release that rage on?
28:57No, do you really?
28:59I just have to deal with it myself
29:05For Jamie, visiting Sophie's grave alone has become a nightly ritual
29:09I just have to say goodnight every night
29:12I have to say goodnight
29:13I have to say goodnight
29:14Try and communicate with her
29:18Which sounds crazy
29:19But, you know
29:20I'd hope that she's somewhere
29:22Daddy
29:23Daddy
29:24Daddy
29:25Daddy
29:26Daddy
29:27Daddy
29:28Goodnight
29:29Daddy
29:30From my perspective
29:31We've got to look after the other children as well
29:33And they need us to be there for them
29:35Come on, up to bed
29:36Ella
29:37Say goodnight
29:38Say goodnight
29:39Say goodnight
29:40And I think Jamie finds that part of heart
29:45My life has changed forever now
29:47I'll never be the same person again
29:48I never want to be recovered from the loss of Sophie really
29:51Because I would never want a day to go by that I don't think of her
29:54And what would have become of Sophie
29:59Whereas Rebecca's
30:01Yeah, she's got plans
30:03She's got a life to lead
30:05Rebecca's very stoic
30:06She's coping well so far
30:08Really well, I'd say
30:10I think I just try and block it out a little bit
30:14When Jamie's here
30:15I've got to be stronger
30:19Is that a thing?
30:20Yeah
30:21Yeah
30:22So you hold your tears back around
30:23Yeah
30:24Because then he just gets so upset
30:25So I just try and keep going
30:29And if I get upset
30:31I know I won't function
30:32And I won't be able to do anything for the kids
30:34Or for anybody
30:42Goodnight sweetheart
30:43Till tomorrow my darling
30:45Back in Morecambe
30:58One of the Radfords is also struggling to come to terms with what's happened
31:02Tilly's been sent home from school now
31:04Why has she been naughty?
31:05No
31:06She was just really upset about Sophie
31:07Oh
31:09She has been quiet, hasn't she?
31:10Really quiet
31:11Upstairs
31:12Upstairs
31:13Oh
31:14What a shame
31:15I've known her almost all of my life so it's like
31:17It hit really hard
31:19I've lost my grandad and grandma
31:20But this one feels different because she was like 17 and that's
31:25You feel like at 17 you've got a lot more to experience and it feels like you've not experienced everything you want to and she had a lot she wanted to experience
31:32Why do you think you got so upset at school?
31:34I've known her almost all of my life so it's like it hit really hard
31:37I've lost my grandad and grandma but this one feels different because she was like 17 and that's
31:40You feel like at 17 you've got a lot more to experience and it feels like you've not experienced everything you want to and she had a lot she wanted to experience
31:53Why do you think you got so upset at school?
31:56It feels really weird and I can't quite process it how I wanted to
32:02Hmm I can understand that
32:05Yeah, she's no longer with us is she and there's all them things, thoughts that go through your head you won't be able to see her
32:12Have a laugh, speak to her and all those things
32:16It takes time to process and it's still very very fresh and raw isn't it?
32:21Yeah
32:22Yeah
32:23When you lose someone it can sometimes feel like it will take a miracle to feel happy again
32:32Miracles do happen
32:37Go then
32:38Go then
32:40And something Sophie left on her phone might just be the answer Rebecca needs to help her family begin to heal
32:46She's done a Pinterest board of all the places she wanted to visit
32:53It's just got a lot of travel destinations on her list
32:57Sophie liked architecture so a lot of the places that she's got on her Pinterest board are maybe a chapel she wants to see or the seven wonders of the world she always went on about that
33:07So I think she wanted to go to Rome to see the Colosseum
33:12What might seem a simple list of places to visit has a far greater significance for Rebecca
33:18Whenever we got really bad news with her cancer we booked somewhere and just got away from it all
33:26So possibly she'd done that Pinterest board because she was trying to just get the family back on track
33:33So the walkers are off on the trip of a lifetime to visit the places on Sophie's list on her behalf
33:42You know these kids do need to, we do need to start thinking about their future again, we need to start focusing back on them and
33:47Yeah, I just want to focus on the kids and do something positive
33:53Rather than sitting here kind of feeling sorry for ourselves and crying, do you know we want to try and
34:00remember Sophie in a more positive way
34:02I don't mind
34:04Sophie was very mischievous, really cheeky
34:11She was full of fun
34:15She certainly was
34:17She liked to prank people
34:21It's all soft
34:23It's all soft
34:25Sophie was so funny
34:27She was so caring
34:29She was loving to her little brothers and sisters, she thought about them all the time
34:33Yeah, she did, yeah
34:36She always thought of others
34:38And she would stay up all night, the night before anybody's birthday to bake a cake
34:43She'd wrap all the presents
34:52She wasn't one for sitting around feeling sorry for herself
34:55You know I suppose the trips may be Sophie's way of showing everybody
35:00You know how much she loves them and yeah
35:02But as the day to leave draws close, for Jamie, the road trip means leaving Sophie behind
35:21Going on a road trip, I feel really gully about experiencing things that we wanted Sophie to experience
35:27Everything, you know, that you'd expect Sophie would have enjoyed is difficult
35:34I think for me as a parent, I try and focus on something that the kids can benefit from
35:44But also something that we're doing for Sophie
35:46I'm just trying to, I suppose, heal her family and bring us back together a little bit
35:57We've still got nine children that need us to look after them
36:02And Sophie, Sophie told you that before she passed away you have to
36:08You have to, you know
36:11Look after the other kids
36:12For Tilly, the time has also come to start healing
36:28Since we've lost Sophie, I've been feeling like I've not been wanting to go out
36:33And I still don't want to go out at all, because it feels really wrong
36:36Tilly's definitely been a lot quieter and, you know
36:41Staying in more, isn't she?
36:42Yeah, staying in a bit more, a bit more withdrawn
36:45And I think sometimes you need to get out to help make you feel a little bit better, don't you?
36:51Noel and Sue have arranged an evening out for Tilly to be with her friends
36:56But trying to enjoy life again after such a tragic loss can be challenging
37:02It feels wrong to just have fun, because it's like, it's just like, you're just not allowed
37:09Because it's someone so close and you don't want to have fun knowing they're not there
37:13You're having fun and they can't
37:16Right, there you go
37:22If it's all a bit too much, I'll only be here, I'm not going anywhere
37:24I'll wait for you
37:26Alright
37:27Alright sweet
37:28Alright, see you later
37:29Bye
37:31Try and enjoy yourself
37:36I'm hoping that once she gets in there and all her friends just be around and they'll just start having a good laugh
37:42And she can just put it behind her for a few hours and enjoy yourself
37:46Am I first?
37:48You've fought him in there
37:50Like that?
37:51No
37:52No, I have
37:53Just not very recently
37:55These are the things she's going to have to do to deal with Sophie's death
38:00Something you don't like to say, you know, life moves on as such
38:04But she does need to get out there and just feed Tina in for a few hours
38:08Hello
38:13Right, who's next?
38:14Me
38:18She's been in there just over half an hour now
38:20She's not come out, she's not messaged me or anything, so
38:24Hopefully she's enjoying herself
38:28That is unspeakable
38:36Hello
38:37You're back
38:38Yep
38:39How was that?
38:40Fun?
38:41Yeah, it was alright
38:42Friends helped, yeah
38:44That's what the friends are for, isn't it, eh?
38:45Yeah
38:47I'm glad I went
38:49Good
38:51It's only the one evening that she's going out and booked
38:54I think the more time she can maybe do this will help her, won't it?
39:00Sophie liked having fun, she liked making people laugh
39:02So, I feel like that's what Sophie would want, and it's helping me know that she would want that
39:08At long last the day has arrived, the walkers are off on their European road trip in Sophie's memory
39:14She had a Pinterest board with all these screenshots of places she wanted to visit
39:31She wanted to go to Lake Como, that was a really, really special place for her, wasn't it?
39:32Yeah, she's a massive Star Wars fan
39:34Here we are Sophie, the villa you would come to, featured in Star Wars and other movies
39:37From Villa del Balbolliano
39:38Is it?
39:39I don't know
39:40Is it?
39:41I don't know
39:42Bilboa
39:43Pronounce it
39:44It's absolutely beautiful darling
39:45We wanted to go round and visit these places for us
39:47For us to get a good job
39:48She wanted to go to Lake Como, that was a really, really special place for her, wasn't it?
39:51Yeah
39:52She's a massive Star Wars fan
39:53Here we are Sophie, the villa you would come to, featured in Star Wars and other movies
39:56From Villa del Balbolliano
39:58Is it?
39:59I don't know
40:00Bilboa
40:01Pronounce it
40:02It's absolutely beautiful darling
40:03We wanted to go round and visit these places
40:06For us I think it helped keep Sophie's memory alive and then it just gave us a purpose
40:13Yeah
40:15We love you Sophie
40:16Miss you dearly darling
40:18You may not be here with us physically but certainly you all are thinking about right now darling
40:26I think she would have definitely wanted us to do it
40:29She was there with us in spirit
40:32So here we are, family dating Benidon
40:35Never dressed normally
40:37Except Daniel
40:39She's decided to wear banana shorts
40:41Banana shirt
40:42Banana hat
40:43Banana socks
40:44Banana socks
40:46Banana's on his sunglasses
40:51Sophie was so much loved life
40:52You know she really
40:53Yeah
40:54She wanted to live her life to the full
40:55She embraced life yeah
40:56She wanted to do everything and enjoy every moment
41:00She was never sitting about feeling sorry for herself
41:04It was really amazing
41:06This place is stunning
41:08We would never have come here if it wasn't for you Sophie
41:13Monaco
41:14Beautiful
41:16Thank you Sophie for these ideas
41:18You always knew how to bring us the fun
41:23I love this place
41:28We got to spend some quality time with the other kids
41:30Even the older ones we feel
41:33We're just like missing
41:34Detached
41:35We've been detached for these kids for so long now
41:36You know we barely know them it feels like
41:38Cause you had to prioritise Sophie and her treatment over anything
41:43Yeah
41:44You felt like you were neglecting them
41:45Yeah
41:48Road Trip gave us the opportunity just to
41:50Rebond as a family
41:54From the south of France
41:56To Monaco
41:59Spain
42:01And Italy
42:05It's been a trip of epic proportions
42:08All thanks to Sophie
42:17Sophie planned one final stop
42:19Where else but back in Morecambe with the Radfords
42:21So what's your road trip Jamie
42:22Which is your favourite bit would you say?
42:23It's got to have been in Italy
42:24We absolutely loved Italy
42:25I loved the south of France
42:26I loved St Raphael and Frasius you know
42:27All down that way
42:28Yeah yeah
42:29I think we just needed something to focus on as well
42:30And then that kept Sophie with us
42:31If that makes sense
42:33The visit is also a chance for the walkers to thank Nolan Sue
42:34Nolan Sue
42:36Nolan Sue were amazing
42:38They just turned up of nowhere
42:40We never expected it
42:41They came and they're so helpful
42:43They were always there
42:44They were always on the end of the phone
42:47You know if you don't have close friends at times like that
42:48Then they'd be able to just help you
42:50And help you out
42:52Like to help you out
42:53And then make friends
42:54They are so uncomfortable
42:55They are so helpful
42:57We were always there
42:58They were always on the end of the phone
43:00If you don't have close friends at times like that
43:03friends at times like that then what you have I think we're just at the beginning yeah I think
43:13it's gonna be a long process I don't I don't think it will ever get over it but then I suppose it's
43:19getting easier certainly less tears or shed I think the road trip was definitely Sophie's way
43:27of making sure that they all stayed together and looked after each other after she was gone
43:31they're definitely working through it as a family now I think Sophie knew what the family needed to
43:39start the healing process she used to run everywhere whenever you went out a walk Sophie would be just
43:56running she was like firecracker once you set her off you could not stop her then you'd get scared
44:02of actually how far she would travel just get going don't you she's some girl next time an emptiness is
44:17not something that I'm looking forward to I wasn't prepared for loneliness Daniel were you on Bondi
44:25Beach when I was younger I emigrated to the other side of the world they were my dreams but it never
44:30happened now my son does it instead dad I don't want to let him down I really want him to go
44:34you're the only one that can decide if you're going or you're not going which is it to be
44:42your
44:56you
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