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Plotlex
  • 5 weeks ago
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00:01Cheers, love. Cheers, hon.
00:03This is nice, isn't it? Cheers.
00:05So, love, can I ask, do you tell me everything?
00:09No.
00:11Yeah, but what happens if you got a dress and I didn't like it?
00:14Am I supposed to say that I don't like it?
00:17And what about you?
00:19Well, there's that aftershave you started wearing and, you know, I really didn't like that one.
00:25I suppose in some situations, honesty isn't always the best policy.
00:30Take Millie and Harley, for example, they are too honest.
00:33Millie!
00:34If they think it, they say it, don't they?
00:36You're becoming so difficult.
00:37Are you actually joking me?
00:39Except, of course, over that one thing.
00:42He asked last night again if he could adopt Ophelia, but I've already told him I don't want him to.
00:48Am I not good enough for Ophelia?
00:51Is there another reason why you don't want Harley to adopt Ophelia?
00:55Millie's keeping it quiet.
00:57Go this way. Come on.
00:59Hey, have you seen Harley?
01:01Not for a while, no.
01:02Harley, where are you?
01:04What's happening?
01:07Oh my God.
01:08Oh my God.
01:09It looks like we have a girl.
01:10Hmm.
01:11That's right.
01:12I'm not good.
01:13I got a girl.
01:14I'm not good.
01:15That's right.
01:16I'm not good.
01:17I'm not good.
01:18You don't know.
01:32I don't know. Millie's August. Yeah, I know Casper, because his is two days after mine.
01:42Within our families, there can't be many of us that struggle to remember. And? Who was
01:47born when? Oscar, I think. I know Max's, I know James's. But it's a huge problem for
01:54this lot. So can you tell me who's in January? Let's just try it. I don't know any. May.
02:00No, I didn't. Oh, my God. Birthdays? June. I don't know half the kids, but more than half
02:09the kids' birthdays. You know them all, don't you? And the grandkids. I know myself. I mean,
02:13birthdays a year, how many will it be? Archie Phoebe. No, it's not. 30, 738, about 40, isn't it? That's
02:24nearly one a week. Ah. With a full calendar, keeping track of it all is a nightmare. This
02:36is just the back lane. We're coming to it at the top. So spare a thought for Christine,
02:41Sue's 80-year-old mum. This is Barnardo's. I know the shops. I know where all the bargains
02:47are. Just have a look down at the children's section. Christine is present hunting, as today
02:52is great-grandson Chester's birthday. Aren't they lovely? And you can't beat books for children,
02:58can you? Because I think it's a good thing to sit and read stories. Quite nice, that, though,
03:05isn't it? With another two birthdays this month... I'll be back perhaps tomorrow.
03:10Christine's devised a unique way of remembering them all. So did you manage to get most people's
03:17then? Yeah. I've done it all. Buy them all at once. Have you done that for a year ahead?
03:22Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah, it's a really good idea to get them in a set. I wish I was
03:27that organised. I do have a lot of sympathy for my mum having to buy, you know, so many birthday
03:33presents. Now that she's getting that bit older, I think it's just easier for her to just get
03:37them all in a job lot. Then they're done and she doesn't have to worry about it. I thought
03:41that was the best way to do. Have I done right? Yeah. I am very efficient, you know. I used to work
03:48in an office. I had to be very efficient. A final check of the list. I'm hoping I've got them all.
03:54Reveals a small problem for today's birthday boy. Mum, you've not bought one for Chester.
04:00Oh, don't say that. Oh, God. Oh, my God, Mum. I honestly just think Dad would be laughing
04:06the socks off up there at you, honestly. I think next year I'll just put money in.
04:11While Sue picks up an emergency present...
04:14Kids, do you want to help me blow up these balloons?
04:16I do.
04:17...back home...
04:18I'm going to do a balloon.
04:19...final preparations are underway for the birthday of Millie and Harley's son.
04:23Ready? Hold it.
04:26Look how big it's going.
04:27Blowing up balloons is easier for some than others.
04:31It's just relentless. Non-stop birthdays.
04:36You know, it doesn't make them any less special just because there's lots of them.
04:40Everyone's entitled to their own birthday celebration, don't they?
04:43How do you want to try, Norman?
04:44It is.
04:45This is going to be the best birthday ever.
04:48Since the last one, two weeks ago.
04:50How old is he? Three.
04:53Hello.
04:53Hello.
04:56Hi.
04:57Millie and Harley have arrived with birthday boy Chester.
05:00Happy birthday to you.
05:06Chester is Harley's firstborn.
05:09Keep going.
05:10Yay.
05:12Yay.
05:14Yay.
05:15Does it feel like it's three or four?
05:17Has it gone too quick?
05:19Yeah, I feel like it has gone too quick, yeah.
05:21I just feel like it was yesterday.
05:23Like he was a baby.
05:24Well, look who's arrived.
05:33Thank you, Chester.
05:34Baby Chester.
05:37The first time I've seen Chester, it was like really small, really smooth, tan skin.
05:42And I was just so happy.
05:48It's like, wow, I've created this.
05:52Perfect, aren't you?
05:54Yeah, it was amazing.
05:58Who's for cake?
05:59Me!
06:00Hey, everyone.
06:03Soon after baby Chester...
06:05Oh, yummy.
06:06Is that your cake?
06:07Along came daughter Elodie.
06:09Woo!
06:12It's important to have a family, yeah.
06:14I do want them to have a good childhood and, like, have the best life they can.
06:19Yummy!
06:21Harley had a tough upbringing, in which both his father and sister died before he was 11.
06:28Losing my family, now I have my own, just makes me feel like, do as much as you can, tell them you love them every day.
06:37Have you had a good birthday?
06:40I love you.
06:42But although Harley has two children...
06:44I feel you, yeah.
06:45What are you doing?
06:47Millie has three.
06:48So, obviously, Millie did have Ophelia, when we first met.
06:53I have been in Ophelia's life since she was six months old.
06:57Obviously, she's not my biological daughter, but I do treat Ophelia that she's my own, yeah.
07:02I do want people to, like, look at me and Ophelia is like, oh, their father and daughter, yeah, it is really nice, yeah.
07:09To complete his family, Harley wants to adopt Ophelia.
07:14Ophelia doesn't have the surname.
07:15Millie does, Chester does, Elodie does.
07:18I just felt like, well, we can't leave Ophelia out.
07:20And when she gets a bit older, she'll start understanding, like, why is my name different to Chester and Elodie's and mummies and daddies?
07:28But raising the idea of adoption has caused friction with Millie.
07:36Do you have any issues with Harley adopting Ophelia?
07:42I'd be worried for Ophelia.
07:45What, why would you always go to Ophelia?
07:46I'm worried just because we haven't told Ophelia that Harley isn't actually her biological dad.
07:55Ophelia's only four.
07:57And it's a lot to handle and cope with at such an age.
08:03But Harley isn't buying it.
08:05Millie didn't want to tell Ophelia that I'm not a real dad.
08:08But you still can go through the adoption.
08:12It is making me feel like there is another reason why Millie is keeping it quiet.
08:19Is there another reason why you don't want Harley to adopt Ophelia?
08:2245 minutes up the coast from the Radfords home in Morecambe is Lancashire's other seaside resort, Blackpool.
08:41Yeah, maybe there is a bit of a seaside rival between Morecambe and Blackpool, you know, which is the better place.
08:48Morecambe, obviously.
08:49Obviously.
08:50As they're your rivals, would you sell a pie to a Blackpoolian?
08:53I'd sell a pie to a Blackpoolian.
08:55I'd sell a pie to anyone if they want to buy one.
08:58To check out their rivals, Noel has brought a busload of Radfords to visit one of Blackpool's greatest visitor attractions.
09:06Right, come on.
09:08We've come to Blackpool Zoo for a day out with all the family.
09:11Most of the family, anyway.
09:12So, yeah, just a nice day out.
09:14Look at all the flamingos.
09:16Oh, my word, look at them.
09:18Bloody Nora.
09:19Phoebe!
09:20The kids are all running off, seeing what they can find.
09:25Oh, my God, Phoebe, look.
09:27That monkey there looks most like our two.
09:31I think maybe some of the animals are more well-behaved here than what our kids are.
09:36I think animals do have a lot of common in kids, aren't they?
09:39They're very similar, like messy.
09:41Eskerms.
09:42They smell.
09:44Don't listen to you.
09:45Don't listen to you.
09:46Come on, keep up.
09:47Come on.
09:48Oh.
09:50We've got a baby with it.
09:52Look.
09:54Along for the ride today are Millie and her family.
09:57Testa, come on.
09:58Who does this ride wrong?
10:01Holly!
10:02I don't think it likes me.
10:06Do you like me?
10:07It's all smiles for the animals.
10:17But there's tension between the adults.
10:20I do want to go, but not just yet.
10:24There was a little bit of tension when we got there between Millie and her family, wasn't there?
10:30I don't know what it was about, but there was something.
10:31Something.
10:33Can you sit any further apart, guys?
10:40Testa, this way.
10:42Manchester.
10:44Manchester, keep going.
10:46Someone tell him that's the way out.
10:49This way.
10:51Kate, have you seen Marley?
10:52Not for a while, no.
10:54And they might take some finding.
10:59How's that?
11:01Harley's taken son Chester out of the zoo to Blackpool prom.
11:07Look at that big roller coaster.
11:09What did you think of it?
11:11I do your car.
11:13No, I haven't been on that.
11:15That's scary for Daddy.
11:18When I go to Blackpool, I do think of all the family memories we all used to have.
11:21My sister, Chloe's favourite place, like, shows where to go.
11:29Look how high it goes there, over there, look.
11:32It's a place of reflection for Harley when things are not going well.
11:36I'm not sure what's going on with Millie.
11:40Millie pushed back on adopting Ophelia.
11:42It is making me feel like an incomplete father.
11:46Am I not a good enough dad?
11:48Is Millie still thinking about Ophelia's biological father?
11:53I just don't know anymore.
11:54Millie suspects something's up.
12:24I think he's having a go at me.
12:27Where is your dad?
12:31He asked me last night again if he could adopt Ophelia.
12:35But I've already told him I don't want him to.
12:38Don't really want to put that on Ophelia at the minute.
12:42Go on, Chester.
12:44Harley!
12:45Where have you been?
12:46What's it been?
12:47So I feel like it's just him saying to me,
12:51if Ophelia is your child,
12:55Chester is mine.
12:58Oh, don't say that, are you?
12:59No, I'm not.
13:00Morecambe may not be Blackpool in terms of its attractions,
13:17but it does have one major draw.
13:20Not that one.
13:21This one.
13:23Do you want a hand wrap in?
13:24Pie sales are healthy.
13:27Make the sausage, please.
13:29But a seasonal bug has affected Noel's workforce.
13:33Everyone is off at work at the minute.
13:36So Noel's working in the shop
13:38and the pie factory,
13:42so I've barely really seen him.
13:46Yay!
13:46After a ten-hour shift,
13:48the last thing Noel needs is another birthday party.
13:51Did you sing happy birthday at school to you?
13:53Yeah!
13:54And it's not just any old birthday.
13:57Archie's birthday.
13:59Where's Archie gone?
14:00Archie!
14:01Archie is my most challenging child.
14:04No!
14:05Out of the 22 kids,
14:08Archie's the one child that's really tested my parenting.
14:11Bye!
14:12Noel's praying that today goes smoothly.
14:19How old are you today, Archie?
14:21Seven.
14:22Correct, he's seven years old today.
14:23How long have you been counting down the days for?
14:26Thousand years.
14:27What do you like about having your birthday?
14:30That I get toys and cake.
14:36That's a good start.
14:38The usual tradition is whoever's birthday is
14:40picks what we're hoping for tea.
14:42And Archie chose McDonald's, didn't you, Archie?
14:46What would you choose?
14:47A nice meal for two somewhere in peace and quiet,
14:49if it was up to me.
14:52A burger meal,
14:54one large Coke,
14:55A chicken nugget, anybody?
14:57And two slices of cake later...
15:00Archie!
15:01Archie's bouncing off the walls.
15:03Take it outside!
15:04And it's stressing Noel.
15:06Archie!
15:06Noel!
15:08We had about to explode.
15:10Archie, for God's sake, man.
15:12Calm down!
15:15He's got all his presents
15:16that he's trying to play with all at once.
15:18Archie's a really lovely, sweet lad,
15:20but nobody's been as challenging as Archie.
15:24He's completely different to
15:26any of his brothers and sisters.
15:28It's frustrating that I can't get it through to him
15:30why he needs to be nice, share, get along.
15:33Hey!
15:33Mum thinks Archie's behaviour
15:36is nothing out of the ordinary.
15:39I think Archie's behaviour
15:40has hugely improved over the last year
15:42and I think that's part of it's to do
15:44with him getting older.
15:47Do you feel different when you're seven?
15:49Yeah.
15:50I feel different
15:51and I have more friends.
15:53I think sometimes Noel is a little bit selective
15:57on remembering, like,
15:59what all of the other children have been like
16:01when they've been of similar age.
16:03I think sometimes he wants to press the fast-forward button
16:06to get over the difficult stage.
16:10He's so lovely, as Archie.
16:12He really is.
16:13He's a very lovable little boy, aren't you?
16:16If it's not Archie that's doing something wrong,
16:22then who is it?
16:23Do you have a different relationship with him?
16:25I don't feel like I've got a different relationship with Archie.
16:28Absolutely not.
16:29But I do feel bad that most of our interactions
16:32is, like, me just telling him off.
16:33I think I need to spend more quality time with him
16:36and build a better bond.
16:44Ellie!
16:46The last two weeks
16:47have been difficult for Millie and Harley.
16:49You do only spend your time, like, shouting.
16:52No, I don't.
16:53The disagreement started all about one thing.
16:57You won't let me adopt, Ophelia.
16:58You know, I love her to bitch.
16:59Oh, you just like her.
16:59No, I love her to bitch.
17:01You know that.
17:02It started over, Ophelia.
17:07And escalated into a massive argument.
17:10You're doing this on purpose.
17:11No!
17:11You're stressing me out.
17:12Oh, my God, you're stressing me out.
17:13Go, Harley.
17:14I was really angry with Han.
17:17I was really angry with Millie.
17:20The problem was...
17:21...never of us are listening to each other.
17:25You're becoming so difficult.
17:27Are you actually joking me?
17:29You're doing me head in.
17:30Next morning...
17:37I'll count.
17:38You keep them up.
17:40One, two...
17:43You're not hitting it with your foot.
17:48I've nearly done an ambulance.
17:52Say it again.
17:52What, Millie?
17:55Shh!
17:56What's happening?
17:59Nellie, no, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie.
18:05Where's the kids at?
18:06I've got one to the nurse.
18:07I've had to give Ellen to Laura over the road.
18:10He's flying in the world.
18:11Well, I think he's really panicking.
18:13He is really panicking.
18:14I'm panicking.
18:15No, we're good to get there again.
18:17My God, that's a nightmare, isn't it?
18:19Ambulance service.
18:35Patient breathing.
18:36He is, yeah.
18:37And his patient's awake.
18:39Yep.
18:39Tell me exactly what's happened.
18:41He's dizzy.
18:42He's having weakness down his body as well as his face.
18:47He said it feels like he's numb.
18:50His speech is quite close.
18:52And how old is the patient?
18:5424.
18:55Has he ever been diagnosed as having a stroke at all?
18:59No.
19:00Can I take his full name, please?
19:03Yeah, it's Harley.
19:05That's not.
19:13Harley's been in hospital for two hours.
19:17He's getting, like, numbness in his left side of his body.
19:23And I don't think he believed him.
19:24I said, like, your face is drooping.
19:27And he'd come up here in an ambulance with blue lights on,
19:30so it is quite serious.
19:32And then when he arrived at the hospital,
19:33he went straight on to the stroke ward.
19:37He only had to wait about half an hour for his MRI scan
19:39and went straight down for his scan.
19:41Are you in a bit of shock?
19:46Yeah, I'm very much in shock.
19:48I think Harley's in a bit of shock as well.
19:51Because it was just out of nowhere.
19:53It's very worrying.
19:55And it is scary.
19:56Harley's illness has been a wake-up call for Millie.
20:06I felt guilty straight away,
20:07wondering if I was arguing had caused all of it.
20:11If something happened to him, how would I feel then?
20:13Harley has been in my life since Ophelia was six months old.
20:21And she's now four.
20:22So I've pretty much done my whole motherhood with Harley.
20:27Can't imagine not having him now.
20:32With Millie and Harley at hospital,
20:35the fifth emergency services are called into action.
20:39Chester, are you going to go play with some toys?
20:42Yeah.
20:42Yeah.
20:44Sue's picked up the two youngest,
20:46whilst Noel has collected Ophelia from nursery.
20:51I think we definitely are a bit of a well-oiled machine
20:53when things happen in the family
20:55and we have to step up and, you know, be there and help out.
21:00Oh, cuddles.
21:02Cuddles with Auntie Heidi.
21:05It must be upsetting, you know, that the daddy's gone into hospital.
21:08So he's got to reassure them.
21:09We definitely just try and stay calm and just make sure that the kids are OK.
21:13Because I think if you are stressed and worried, then the kids pick up on that
21:18and you definitely don't want that, do you?
21:19The kids may be happy, but their mum isn't.
21:24Millie's feeling like she's contributed to Harley's stroke, arguing, bickering over Ophelia.
21:30She feels a bit of a guilty conscience.
21:32He must be so worried and panicking, not knowing what's wrong.
21:38And hopefully it's an out of nothing, but until we find out, we just don't know.
21:43Four hours after being admitted,
21:52Harley's conscious and for now, stable.
21:55Where are you at now, guys? What's happening?
21:57Today I'm, like, slurring my words.
22:01If it makes sense.
22:02And I've just got a massive headache as well.
22:05So I couldn't really feel the left side of his body.
22:11And I'm just twitching again.
22:13I'm waiting for the MRI scans.
22:16Results?
22:17Results, yeah.
22:19Yeah, I don't know how long they'll take to come back, though.
22:21She said she was checking them soon, so I hope they'll come back soon.
22:27I shouldn't be having a stroke at 3-4.
22:29So how did it happen this morning?
22:40So this morning I was fine.
22:42And obviously I've gone to work.
22:43And...
22:44You're only at work for like two hours.
22:47And I had a drink out of a Coke bottle.
22:50And it felt, like, really wonky.
22:52My face went really, um, droopy.
22:56Next to me I just felt really weak.
22:57In my left side of my body.
22:59And I just felt a bit dizzy.
23:01And a bit drowsy.
23:03So I've come home from work.
23:05First I thought you had, like, an abscess on his, like, on his tooth or something.
23:09So I rang emergency and they told me to come to the hospital.
23:13But it's symptoms of a stroke.
23:16You've got high blood pressure.
23:19Yeah, I don't feel the best.
23:21Yeah, like, obviously, I am scared.
23:24I think anyone would be scared if they thought they'd have had a stroke at the...
23:27...at such a young age.
23:37With no word from Millie...
23:38Right, come on then. Let's go.
23:40...there's only one course of action.
23:43Bedtime!
23:44Are you having a sleepover?
23:45Yeah.
23:46Yeah?
23:47Come on, Elodie.
23:48Come on, slow coach.
23:49Come on.
23:49The kids, they'll just stay as long as they need to stay.
23:53You know, if Harley has to stay in overnight and Millie's with him, the kids will just stay here.
23:57Just for, uh, as long as it takes.
23:59It's going to be cosy in here, isn't it?
24:01A stroke is a really serious thing, isn't it?
24:03You've seen adverts on the TV, haven't you?
24:05Yeah.
24:05You've got to react fast before it's too late and then it's irreversible.
24:09Or even worse, isn't it, you know?
24:10But, you know, you do hear of young people having strokes.
24:13It's really...
24:15It's scary.
24:15It's scary, yeah.
24:17And it's like night-night, everybody.
24:18Night-night!
24:19Night-night.
24:20Love you.
24:21Bye.
24:21Love you.
24:28On the stroke ward, Harley also needs a bed for the night.
24:32The doctor's just been in.
24:34He said, um, I've got to stay in overnight.
24:37Doctor's going to come see me in the morning.
24:39I've been in the hospital for, like, but...
24:42This is the most serious thing I've ever been in hospital for.
24:45Nothing like this, like, nothing, like, life-threatening.
24:49So I'm so glad I got Millie here, because I hate sleeping by myself and...
24:55I am scared.
24:56So I asked if Millie could sleep and said, yeah.
25:00I love Millie because she's very supportive to me.
25:04And she's literally just so, so strong.
25:06A supportive wife.
25:10So I'm happy.
25:11Day two.
25:24And Noel and Sue are holding things together at home.
25:27Chester, come here, darling.
25:29Come on.
25:30Yeah, I...
25:31Cocoa pops, please.
25:33I love that.
25:34These three, they all slept like logs last night.
25:36They did really well.
25:38Not so much myself and Sue.
25:39Obviously, we're a bit worried about Harley and what's going on.
25:42We haven't heard anything.
25:43The main thing is that these three weren't worried about things.
25:46I'm thinking that we might hear some news fairly soon, because usually doctors do their rounds, don't they, in the morning?
25:53Well, I'm hoping, anyway, we'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says.
25:57Back at the hospital, Harley has been given an update.
26:06So, they came in with my results, and my MRI scan was totally fine, so, like, obviously, that means I hadn't had a stroke.
26:18I said, it's Bell's Palsy.
26:20It's like, it's all in your brain, just anxiety and stuff.
26:24Bell's Palsy is a condition causing temporary facial paralysis.
26:28Its exact cause is unknown.
26:29Yeah, I've still got a bit of an headache and that, but, yeah, it's a big relief.
26:35Yes, I'm very relieved that Harley's okay and there's nothing serious going on, because that would be really scary.
26:42So, just thank God that he's okay.
26:47He said, hopefully, he'll be feeling better in a few days.
26:51Then, hopefully, I can go home.
26:54Fingers crossed.
26:54Harley's scare has led to a re-evaluation of what's important.
27:05Not just in their household, but in the Radfords' house, too.
27:10Noel is quite stressed, in general.
27:12He's finding it difficult to deal with Archie.
27:15Archie's at that age where they like to push the boundaries a little bit, as well.
27:19And I think Noel's just finding it quite challenging.
27:22Work's just so busy, I meant to be taking it out on the kids, you know, where I think it's them that are playing up, and actually, they're not, they're just being kids.
27:30It's just me overreacting.
27:33I said to Noel, let's try and see the old Noel back, and just try and spend some time with the kids.
27:39That's when Noel had the idea.
27:41At the shop, they put posters up now and again, they get the mods for the circus and all sorts of things.
27:45And they came across this, a wrestling one, somebody came in and left it there.
27:50And I thought, hey, why not? Let's give it a go, go and watch that, have a laugh.
27:56But back home, they haven't even set off before Noel's tested by one of Archie's less frequent tantrums.
28:04Come on.
28:07Is it tough?
28:07Archie's upset because he wanted to go to Millie's, because two of the little girls have gone to stay there for the night.
28:13He wanted to go, but it's just, that'd be too many in Millie's house, so he's a bit upset about that.
28:19Come on.
28:21Look, let's have a look at these.
28:23Let's find the baddies and the goodies.
28:25He's a baddie, isn't he? Look, he's got horrible makeup on that one, hasn't he?
28:28Baddie?
28:29Yeah.
28:30What about that one with a big smile?
28:34Goodie?
28:35Yeah, I think so.
28:37Noel's reassurance is therapeutic, and not just for Archie.
28:42There's nothing more stress-relieving than having a cuddler with one of your kids, is there?
28:45Yeah.
28:46It's just the best feeling, and you can feel all your worries and stresses just disappear.
28:51Up there, I think.
28:53Let's go.
28:54When I saw the poster for the rest, and I thought, oh, bit of rough and tumble, throwing yourself around, all the things Archie loves.
29:01He's going to be in his element.
29:02Out, boy!
29:05Do you want to see progress?
29:07No!
29:08The crowd are pumped up.
29:11But the Radfords are not.
29:13When we first got in there, and we were sitting down, it was a bit like, ooh, we have to stay.
29:19Actually, he was really quiet when we first got in.
29:22He'd come and sat in my knee.
29:23I was trying to lift him up to show him so he could see better.
29:26He didn't want to know.
29:26Seven, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
29:37Oh!
29:38Did you see that?
29:39Just think of them as superheroes, Archie.
29:42Oh, no.
29:42Oh, no.
29:43Oh, no.
29:44Oh, look at that.
29:46Oh, JJ!
29:47Oh, hey, oh.
29:49Oh, hey, oh.
29:50Oh!
29:50Oh!
29:51Oh!
29:55Oh!
29:56Oh!
29:56Oh!
29:56It's entertaining, he's getting into it, he's all there actually, which is nice to see, isn't it?
30:06It's what it's about, getting out, having fun.
30:17Noel's gamble has paid off.
30:19He's loving it, he's absolutely loving it.
30:24No.
30:26Yeah, come again, when it's on again, go on, get her up here, look.
30:34Noel's learnt all about wrestling, and a bit about being a parent.
30:41The moment you act grown up is the moment you lose your inner child, and that's what I did.
30:46Who wants some tight undies like some of them wrestlers?
30:49Me.
30:49Me.
30:50Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
30:56Harley's recuperating at home, after his stroke scare.
31:06Is that your mummy?
31:07Show me how you do it.
31:08How you do it.
31:09When I thought Harley was having a stroke, it was still really scary.
31:15He was worried as well, and I was worried.
31:16Because the paralysis side of it, what if he would never have been able to cope with the three kids again after that?
31:23Or handle his life before that?
31:28What's happened has led Millie to reconsider something close to Harley's heart.
31:34That's so pretty, thank you.
31:36I'm filling in the forms for the process of Harley adopting Ophelia.
31:43What happened to Harley has made me change my mind, because if anything was to happen to Harley, I know that Ophelia would have loved for Harley to be her dad.
31:52So that is what I'm going to make happen.
31:55I asked you earlier if there was another reason that you didn't want him to adopt her, and you wouldn't answer me.
32:01What was the other reason?
32:02I think the worries was that it can turn a lot of hatred towards Harley from Ophelia, when she finds out that Harley isn't actually her biological dad, and she has another dad.
32:14So there is actually ways of trying to explain it to your child.
32:18So I think we're comfortable now, we're all happy.
32:22Millie believes the adoption process should be straightforward.
32:25For one particular reason.
32:27Ophelia's biological dad isn't on the birth certificate just because he never wanted to be on it, and to be honest, I never wanted him to be on it.
32:36Is there a reason why you didn't want him to be on it?
32:39I think just because he wasn't interested at all when I was pregnant, he wasn't interested when she was born.
32:45He said when I told him I was pregnant, he was like, I'm not ready to be a dad.
32:47Because Ophelia's birth father isn't on the birth certificate, it should be easy enough for Harley to adopt Ophelia.
32:56He can see she's happy.
32:57She's got a dad that loves and cares for him.
33:00I'm actually quite nervous.
33:17Nervous, but excited.
33:21Millie and Harley have a very important appointment.
33:24We are going to a place to start the process of adopting Ophelia.
33:29I'm very excited.
33:31Four years we would have been together, so...
33:34Yeah, I've been in her life a long, long time.
33:38And do you want to be in her life forever?
33:40Yeah, it'd be really nice to adopt Ophelia.
33:42That'd mean a lot to me.
33:43I'm sure she'd appreciate it when she's older.
33:45Yeah.
33:46Obviously, you really want to adopt Ophelia, but we need to actually know how the process goes.
33:56They're attending a pre-adoption meeting that will give them the information they need.
34:01I think it's lovely that Harley's going to be adopting Ophelia.
34:06It'd just be nice when she's old enough and she understands it.
34:10How old were you guys when you came up?
34:12I was about seven or eight, I think.
34:14Yeah, I think I was very similar, seven or eight-year-old, I think I was.
34:18I guess I understood it, and it certainly didn't bother me.
34:21No, same.
34:21It was just, there was no, oh, you're not my mum and dad.
34:24There was none of that, was there?
34:26I just remember my mum and dad saying, you know, you're very special.
34:30You came from another mummy's tummy, but I am your mummy and that's, and, you know, obviously, your daddy.
34:36But after the meeting, there's some proper glum faces.
34:46So, we spoke to the adoption place, haven't we?
34:54Yeah.
34:55To go through adoption, like, obviously, it's a lot harder work than we thought it would.
34:59It's definitely not as straightforward as either of us thought it was going to be.
35:04She said, with the adoption, we had to basically get a social worker kind of thing to speak to Ophelia about it all and sort of tell Ophelia, like, basically, I'm not a real dad.
35:16But that's not all.
35:21If we went down the adoption route, we'd have to get involved with Ophelia's dad.
35:25What do you think is going with her dad?
35:27I mean, I don't know what he's like now.
35:28It's four years down the line.
35:29I don't know if, um...
35:31I don't know what his attitude's like anymore.
35:35Do you know what I mean?
35:35I don't know how he sees things.
35:37Yeah, like, he's got to come to court and, um, he might not come to court kind of thing, innit?
35:41Yeah.
35:42And I feel like he's got to give me his rights, really, innit?
35:47Like, he's got to agree for me to be Ophelia's real dad.
35:51He could just say, well, no, I don't want you to adopt her.
35:59And if he says that's fine, he's still got to come to court.
36:02And me and Millie Basie don't think that'll happen.
36:05He'll do it.
36:08Do you have any contact with him?
36:10We haven't spoken since.
36:12I was 21 weeks pregnant with Ophelia, and that's it.
36:15So it's way over four years ago.
36:17When you heard that you had to contact, what was the worries you would have?
36:21Maybe if we got in touch with him, he might be like, oh, well, I do want something to do with her now.
36:25And it's a lot for Ophelia.
36:28That would be a big concern for me, yeah.
36:31That's led them to only one conclusion.
36:35And that, basically, I don't think we're gonna...
36:39I'm not gonna adopt her.
36:40Ghosts from the past are continuing to hold an influence over Millie and Harley's lives.
36:50It's a nice night, isn't it?
36:51It's lovely.
36:52But Noel and Sue have no such worries.
36:55Ooh, that looks nice, that one.
36:57Yeah.
36:57Do you think you're kind of unique in a couple?
37:01As soon as you'll first go, I know it's your first boyfriend.
37:04I was only having ourselves as partners.
37:07It must make our lives more simpler.
37:10Most people who get married have, you know, had relationships with them, haven't they?
37:14Exactly.
37:15Your new relationship, you might be great.
37:17If you've got an ex breathing down your neck because they want maintenance, they want this, you're not seeing your kids this weekend, all that sort of pressure.
37:24It's gonna be difficult, isn't it?
37:26It is a lot easier because we don't have any baggage from, like, other relationships and stuff like that.
37:33In that respect, our marriage is very simple.
37:37I just can't even imagine.
37:39If we split up and you've got in a new relationship and you say to your new partner, oh, is it all right if our kids come round?
37:45It's just, no, they'd just run a mile, wouldn't they, no?
37:48We're sticking with each other early, aren't we?
37:50Yeah.
37:50We've got too much baggage.
37:55We've not experienced another relationship to know how that one would work and what went wrong in that one.
38:00So how does ours work so well?
38:01I think it's a lot of teamwork, isn't it, with us, really?
38:04Yeah.
38:05I think that's why it works so well, isn't it?
38:07Mm-hmm.
38:08Well, somebody once described us, didn't it, as swans.
38:11Because they, like, have been kind of apart and they lived together forever, don't they, the swans?
38:15Aw.
38:16So that's what we're like, two swans.
38:18Does that mean we started off as ugly ducklings?
38:29It's just days since Harley thought his chances of adopting Othelia were dead in the water.
38:36But all is not lost.
38:38Let's go.
38:42Are you excited?
38:44Yeah.
38:46There's so many complications with the step-parent adoption.
38:50So we've come to see a solicitor today because we believe there might be another option.
38:54Hi, Millie.
38:56Hiya.
38:57Hi, Harley.
38:57Hi, I'm Rachel.
38:58We spoke on the phone.
38:59Shall we come through?
39:00Yeah.
39:00Yeah.
39:01Rachel is a solicitor who specialises in family law.
39:06I don't know what spot yet.
39:07Obviously, she's going to explain to us a bit more.
39:10Yeah, I am nervous, yeah.
39:11So a good option, I think, in this situation would be a step-parental responsibility agreement.
39:18And that would mean Millie, as the only person with anybody having parental responsibility,
39:26can agree to share her parental responsibility with you.
39:30You would get exactly the same rights as Millie in terms of decision-making.
39:34So you can have input into any decision regarding her life, about what surname she has,
39:42what school she goes to.
39:44If she needed an operation, you would be able to consent to that.
39:49And previously, without having that parental responsibility, you wouldn't be able to do that.
39:55So basically, it is like adoption, isn't it?
39:57The effect of it is very, very much like adoption, yeah.
40:00Adoption would take much, much longer.
40:02It's a much more complicated process.
40:04This is much quicker, much more simple.
40:08It doesn't involve anybody else.
40:10We don't have to ask anybody else's permission.
40:14I was very relieved when I found out that we didn't have to get in touch with Ophelia's biological father.
40:19If we had to get in touch with him, it would have been bringing up a lot of my past.
40:24And now that we're married with another two children, it's not something that needs to be spoke about.
40:29The issues may be resolved, but it's still a big decision to make.
40:34It's important that you both realise the permanence of this, whilst it's not as complex as the adoption protest.
40:42But it's still a really important, serious thing that we're doing.
40:46And once we've done this, it can't be undone without a court order.
40:51So it is a permanent situation.
40:58So this is your last chance to change your mind, either of you.
41:03When the solicitor said, about my name will be on Ophelia's birth certificate, I did pause a second.
41:09It is a big thing for me that a birth certificate will not legally say, I'm not a father.
41:18So you definitely still want to do this?
41:26Yeah.
41:26All I've got to sign is that, isn't it? The step-parent one?
41:34Yeah, the step-parent one.
41:36Just sign it there, Harley.
41:40Then a trip over the road to have it legally witnessed by the family court.
41:44It was a big thing for me to give over some rights to Harley.
41:49We both share the same rights now.
41:52But I know that Harley sees Ophelia exactly like how he sees Elodie and Chester, which is nice, and I think he deserves it.
42:00All done.
42:01Well, all done.
42:03Ophelia now has a new parent.
42:06Signed.
42:07Equally responsible for her welfare.
42:10Let's go and have a party.
42:14A hop, skip, and a jump back over to Morecambe.
42:21So, Harley's like a legal guardian now, I feel it.
42:24And a welcoming party's ready for them.
42:27Aw.
42:28It's all official now, isn't it?
42:29Yeah, it is.
42:30Well, I think we should have a little celebratory drink.
42:32All right, whoa, let's go.
42:34Hey.
42:35Woo!
42:36Congratulations, Harley.
42:37Thanks, Dad.
42:38Cheers, love.
42:39Cheers.
42:40Cheers, Daddy.
42:41Cheers, Millie.
42:42Cheers.
42:44I think it's great that Millie and Harley have found a way to work around the complications
42:50they had with Millie's previous relationship.
42:53I think it'll help them look forward to their future rather than the past, you know.
42:57I think the way they'll see it now, they are a complete family.
43:00From the beginning, really, pretty much, Harley has been Ophelia's dad.
43:04I think it's lovely.
43:05It's just, it's really, really lovely.
43:07And it's nice to know that we're all, as well, going to have the same last name.
43:12They can both now legally change Ophelia's surname to match her brother and sister.
43:17It's not full adoption, but it is the next best thing.
43:30While the rest of the family relax with a celebratory supper...
43:34Top notch of these fish and chips.
43:35Look at the size of that fish.
43:36It's a whopper.
43:38Harley!
43:38Harley's up to something.
43:40Even though I've got the rights, I do want it on Ophelia's birth certificate to say I'm her father.
43:46What have you done there?
43:48I've just messaged Ophelia's biological father.
43:51Seriously?
43:52I put, I don't want to upset you, but me and Millie are married and we have two kids of our own.
43:57I'd really like to adopt Ophelia.
43:59I can't help the way I feel.
44:01I've put almost four years into Ophelia's life.
44:04I know she'd want me to be her dad.
44:10Can you point to Daddy for me?
44:13Just Millie to tell now.
44:16Millie!
44:22Next time.
44:23Who wants to get involved planning Mummy's 50th birthday?
44:28So my 50th is coming up.
44:30I feel like my hormones are like just crazy.
44:33I think it's really risky for you to stop the power.
44:37No, I need to talk to you.
44:40What's this all about?
44:44My period's late.
44:45Oh my God.
44:47Oh my God.
44:48Give thanks a lot.
45:00No, I don't know.
45:02I don't know.
45:06No, I don't know.
45:10No, I don't know.
45:13No, I don't know.
45:14You
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