Nicole Aniston Interview / Nicole Aniston Podcast

Podcast Vibe

Transcript

00:00:00Really hot

00:00:04So I grab his phone I'm like there you go buy a flashlight I mean

00:00:09You married yeah, I am sure I mean whatever it takes to make you go away

00:00:30Let's see

00:00:33Here Ernie, we take a photo and then will you help her?

00:00:49Thank you

00:00:57No

00:01:00Let me do a little

00:01:02Oh wait you're in the studio

00:01:04Yeah I don't know if that's what you

00:01:06Can you get out of the studio?

00:01:08I don't know how do I do this probably

00:01:10Another year

00:01:12Maybe you should be out of the room

00:01:14Cool

00:01:16Hey guys I'm in the studio

00:01:18With the beautiful

00:01:20Nicole Aniston

00:01:22So excited to have her back

00:01:24We have so much to talk about

00:01:26I'm streaming this live for free

00:01:28For everybody on my YouTube channel

00:01:30So swipe up to join the conversation

00:01:32Oh my god on YouTube?

00:01:34Poop

00:01:36Yeah I figure like it's a good idea to do like a live one like for free for everyone like once every six months or something like that

00:01:44Great

00:01:46Just to kind of get people like

00:01:48I will share away

00:01:50Thank you I love you

00:01:52I like doing that

00:01:54I really appreciate that some people are really stingy about it

00:01:56But I feel the same way like as long as it's a project that I don't like hate

00:02:00Or as long as it's not like because I won't put like hardcore stuff on my

00:02:04Twitter or anything anymore like anything that's um like nudity is fine

00:02:08I won't repost like penetration and like really hardcore stuff

00:02:12I won't do anything I'll do PG-13

00:02:14My show my boobs

00:02:15Yeah yeah yeah

00:02:16I did the other day

00:02:17Yeah

00:02:18Just to have that out there

00:02:19Yeah but yeah cause I just don't want to get shadow banned

00:02:20And I just don't want

00:02:21I don't know

00:02:22I want people to have to pay for triple X

00:02:23That's part of it

00:02:24Yeah and also too like I don't know if you feel this way too

00:02:27But sometimes I get really sick of scrolling through my Twitter and looking at gaping hassles all the time

00:02:31I'm so over it like I don't want to see that all the time

00:02:33I've unfollowed and I'm not to be disrespectful but I've just unfollowed a lot of people

00:02:38Oh me too

00:02:39And I've muted those that I really want to remain cordial

00:02:42Right right

00:02:43No same

00:02:44I just don't

00:02:45And it's something personal against you

00:02:46And I understand like you're doing it cause you need the traffic you're trying to get you know

00:02:50And maybe you know what I'm doing is hurting my membership sales

00:02:55But I just I don't know

00:02:56I just don't want it

00:02:57I mean if you can finish something for free

00:02:59Yeah

00:03:00I'm not going to pay

00:03:01No

00:03:02Yeah

00:03:03Yeah

00:03:04Yeah

00:03:05Are you good?

00:03:06Did you

00:03:07Oh yeah I'm just hanging out with it

00:03:09Okay cool

00:03:10Alright we ready?

00:03:12Can we get a test for your mic?

00:03:13Yeah

00:03:14Hello hello how are you?

00:03:16My name is Holly

00:03:18Okay

00:03:19Is that true?

00:03:20Is the hair in my mug?

00:03:21Really?

00:03:22I think so

00:03:23I always have a cat hair

00:03:24I always have a cat hair

00:03:25Yeah oh my god dog hair same

00:03:27I use if I have glasses at home

00:03:29Like just a glass with water in it

00:03:31And I take my phone light

00:03:32And I shine it on the bottom

00:03:33And I look

00:03:35And see

00:03:36Oh there's one

00:03:37And then I get it out

00:03:38To like

00:03:39I don't even want to look that closely

00:03:41Everything's covered in dog hair

00:03:42Good?

00:03:43Yeah

00:03:44Okay cool

00:03:47Hello everybody

00:03:48Welcome back to the show

00:03:50I'm very excited today

00:03:51For a couple of reasons

00:03:53First of all

00:03:54I'm actually streaming this episode live

00:03:57On YouTube for free

00:03:59For everybody

00:04:00Which I only do ever so rarely

00:04:02So

00:04:04You're welcome

00:04:05And

00:04:06Second of all

00:04:07I have one of my favorite guests

00:04:09And

00:04:10Actually my most popular guest

00:04:12Your first episode with me

00:04:13Is

00:04:14Still to this day

00:04:15The most downloaded episode I've ever done

00:04:17Yeah

00:04:18Nicole

00:04:19Aniston

00:04:20Hi

00:04:21How are you?

00:04:22I am amazing

00:04:23How are you?

00:04:24You look beautiful as always

00:04:25Your hair is like so long and amazing

00:04:27Oh

00:04:28Thank you

00:04:29Oh my god

00:04:30It comes out of me like that

00:04:31Play-Doh barbershop

00:04:32Where you just

00:04:33Push down the handle and out it comes

00:04:35Yeah

00:04:37And Nicole actually

00:04:39Was so generous to come here

00:04:41With tacos for me

00:04:43Which was amazing

00:04:44Because I didn't have lunch

00:04:45I was so grateful for that

00:04:47And they were sugar tacos

00:04:49From

00:04:50Your

00:04:51Restaurants

00:04:52Yes

00:04:53So tell us

00:04:54Tell us about sugar

00:04:55Sugar taco right?

00:04:56Sugar taco yes

00:04:57We're on Melrose

00:04:58We've got parking literally

00:04:59Like

00:05:00A few feet away

00:05:01You know

00:05:02It's like

00:05:03You know that you're like

00:05:04A true LA person

00:05:05When the first thing that you bring up

00:05:06Is parking

00:05:07People come into town

00:05:08Oh

00:05:08Totally

00:05:09You know

00:05:10They're

00:05:11Oh it's a first trip to LA

00:05:12What are we gonna do?

00:05:13You gotta get

00:05:14Now it's going to be an iconic spot

00:05:16Where you're gonna have to come to LA

00:05:17And you gotta go to sugar taco

00:05:18Yeah

00:05:19They have parking

00:05:20They have parking

00:05:21And the food's freaking bomb

00:05:23So

00:05:24It's good

00:05:25It's

00:05:26Honestly

00:05:27It's some of my favorite food

00:05:28In all of the food

00:05:30Yeah

00:05:31It's some of my

00:05:32And I know you love food

00:05:33Oh my gosh

00:05:34I know how you feel about food

00:05:35Every time I see bananas

00:05:37I still think of you

00:05:38Yes

00:05:39I still eat plantains

00:05:40The same exact way

00:05:41I prepared them in Costa Rica

00:05:42During our trip

00:05:43Yeah

00:05:44With a little bit of lime

00:05:45A little bit of smoked paprika

00:05:46And there I am

00:05:47Eating

00:05:48And I'm just reminiscing

00:05:49About our little Via adventure

00:05:51But yeah

00:05:52Bananas are amazing

00:05:53Yeah they are

00:05:54Such a good food

00:05:55Such a good food

00:05:56So tell us about Sugar Taco

00:05:57Like how did that come about?

00:05:59What is the restaurant about?

00:06:00What's the food like?

00:06:01That kind of stuff

00:06:02We are woman owned

00:06:04Completely vegan

00:06:06Plant based

00:06:07Authentic Mexican

00:06:08It's so good

00:06:10We have the awesome

00:06:12Best freaking chef in the world

00:06:13I don't know how in the world

00:06:15They come up with these tortillas

00:06:17Just as we were talking about the tortillas

00:06:18Yeah I noticed that

00:06:19The first thing

00:06:20One of the first things I noticed

00:06:21When I shoved your tacos down my throat

00:06:23Because I was so hungry

00:06:25Was that the tortillas were handmade

00:06:27Yes

00:06:28I could tell

00:06:29They are fantastic

00:06:30Everything in house

00:06:31I mean

00:06:32Down to the guac

00:06:33And I mean

00:06:34You can just taste the authentic

00:06:36Really rich

00:06:37Bold flavors

00:06:39And everything is just

00:06:41The pal-

00:06:42The flavor profiles on all the tacos

00:06:45And everything is just really really good

00:06:47It's clean

00:06:48And we're sustainable

00:06:50The CBD horchata

00:06:52Oh my gosh

00:06:53I can't even talk about it

00:06:54It's incredible

00:06:56So we're

00:06:57You know

00:06:58We're a bunch of

00:06:59Female influencers

00:07:00We honestly kind of all got together

00:07:03Through Instagram

00:07:04We all have a passion for

00:07:06You know animals

00:07:09And humans

00:07:10And sustainability

00:07:11And plant-based yummy food

00:07:13So it was a win-win

00:07:14It was great getting in touch with these gals

00:07:16And hearing about their concepts

00:07:18And what they had in mind for the restaurant

00:07:20And I was on board immediately

00:07:22Yeah

00:07:23So getting

00:07:25Being able to take part in this has been a real honor

00:07:28Getting

00:07:29You know

00:07:30Kind of in the ground floor with this really amazing project

00:07:33And being able to

00:07:35Literally taste the hard work that we've all put into it

00:07:39Yeah

00:07:40Has been really incredible

00:07:41And I think it's going to be a new staple in LA

00:07:43It's so yummy

00:07:44It's so yummy

00:07:45And so far we've

00:07:46We've really been making a big impression

00:07:48Yeah

00:07:49So we're hoping to keep that up

00:07:50Food is so good

00:07:51Tell me where you get the produce from

00:07:53Because that's sustainable as well, right?

00:07:54Yes

00:07:55Imperfect Produce is our supplier

00:07:58And we actually just got our liquor license as well

00:08:01So we're

00:08:02Let me tell you

00:08:03Wow

00:08:04We're going to be having some really really cool drinks

00:08:07That'll be as of

00:08:09I want to say Tuesday

00:08:10Oh wow

00:08:11Of next week

00:08:12We will be liquor ready

00:08:14So

00:08:15You know

00:08:16We are

00:08:17We do the glass and the no plastic

00:08:20And we try to just really be mindful about water consumption

00:08:24And using fewer napkins and fewer dishes

00:08:27And I mean tacos

00:08:28Takes your hands and that's it

00:08:30Go to the bathroom, wash your hands real quick

00:08:32Yeah

00:08:33There's so much to our restaurant that we've focused around

00:08:36Sustainability

00:08:37Right

00:08:38And I mean plant based alone

00:08:40You're literally saving a life when you make that choice for your meal

00:08:43Right

00:08:44So

00:08:45I mean we've done breakfast burritos

00:08:47And we've done these vegan eggs

00:08:50That

00:08:51They're perfect

00:08:52It looks just like an egg

00:08:53It tastes just like an egg

00:08:54Same texture

00:08:55Same everything

00:08:56So

00:08:57I mean

00:08:58We're nailing it

00:08:59Yeah

00:09:00And people coming in

00:09:01Who are not vegan

00:09:02Saying

00:09:03My gosh

00:09:04This is so good

00:09:05Mexican meals I've ever had

00:09:08Yeah

00:09:09And so that's

00:09:10We're happy to make a good impression now

00:09:11Right

00:09:12To show people there's a whole nother way

00:09:14To make everything totally sustainable

00:09:16Yeah

00:09:17It must feel really good to take like all that

00:09:20You know money

00:09:21That hard earned money that you've made shooting porn

00:09:23Because I know you've worked really hard for a long time in this industry

00:09:26And be able to put it into something that you believe in

00:09:29Definitely

00:09:30Yeah

00:09:31And it's been really

00:09:32You know there's been a lot of like smart career driven girls

00:09:35Entrepreneurs like yourself

00:09:36I've seen you know take their money and you know put it into other businesses

00:09:41Yeah

00:09:42That I think will help sustain them after you know maybe their run with porn is up

00:09:46Absolutely

00:09:47Because you know not everybody wants to be in this industry forever which is totally understandable

00:09:50Of course

00:09:51Yeah

00:09:52So it's really smart and I think inspiring to see women like you put money towards their

00:09:57future in a different industry rather than spending it on like a fancy car or like purses

00:10:03or clothes or trips or you know it's just like

00:10:05Yeah

00:10:06And when I see girls do that and they don't like plan for their future and then you know

00:10:10Like

00:10:11It's easy to do

00:10:12It's easy to do

00:10:13We'll make more you know

00:10:14Yeah

00:10:15And yes we will make more as we go

00:10:16But we have to continually be reinventing ourselves

00:10:19Yeah

00:10:20And in our industry and in our perception of how we go about it

00:10:25For me going vegan almost six years ago has made such a big impact on everything that

00:10:31I do and every dollar that I spend is impactful in a way it affects someone else's life

00:10:36Right

00:10:37Whether it be animal or human

00:10:39So jumping into this investment was a no brainer

00:10:43It's great you know smart business minded women like me that are you know major Instagram influencers

00:10:50Who knows how long Instagram is going to last but it's there now and it's making a big impact on

00:10:56You know with the animal rights movements and things that are going on now exposing animal agriculture industries

00:11:03And their practices that are very common and legal which is terrifying people to see that truth

00:11:09So it's great to have a little spot in the heart of LA super easily accessible

00:11:15Bomb menu I mean massive menu

00:11:19And just giving people another option

00:11:23Right

00:11:24You know it's yummy it's freaking good and you can feel good about it when you're eating it

00:11:27Yeah

00:11:28So that's been fun

00:11:29Yeah and I can attest to it like I said I just had some and I actually ate the little churro bites afterwards

00:11:35And I can still taste them in my mouth

00:11:36Aren't they good?

00:11:37Oh my god they're so good I kind of want more but I'm not gonna eat

00:11:39I know

00:11:40During the fucking podcast because that's disgusting

00:11:42I thought about putting some in my bag but I was like no I'm not gonna be eating

00:11:45I can't sneak any during the podcast because you can hear everything on here

00:11:49Yeah it's true

00:11:50Though you know there are some people that are into that you know the whole ASMR thing

00:11:53I just learned what that acronym meant

00:11:55Oh really?

00:11:56About 48 hours ago

00:11:57Really?

00:11:58Yes I'm very behind culturally

00:11:59Oh

00:12:00I know what it means now

00:12:01Yeah some girls get paid like an insane well mukbang

00:12:04Mukbang which is what Bridget B taught me about

00:12:06Is basically girls who get paid an enormous amount of money to do YouTube videos of them eating

00:12:13Enormous amounts of food

00:12:14Oh I would love to do that

00:12:15I would love to do that

00:12:16Actually you would be perfect for that

00:12:17Because I know how much you love food

00:12:18I can get so stoned and eat so much

00:12:20Yeah

00:12:21These girls like it's I think it's really big in Korea

00:12:23And these girls just get like these huge plates

00:12:26It's insane and they're like small girls you know

00:12:29And they just eat this enormous amount of food

00:12:32And I don't know these things have like millions of views

00:12:35It's insane

00:12:36Oh I can do that when I get home tonight

00:12:37You can

00:12:38Oh my goodness

00:12:39You can it's a whole new industry for you

00:12:41Wow well thanks for telling me about that

00:12:42You're welcome

00:12:43I appreciate it

00:12:44That's pretty interesting

00:12:47So I've been watching you on social media

00:12:50And you've always been kind of you know you've always been like a free spirit

00:12:54And you've always been somebody who's been more spiritually inclined

00:12:57But I feel like I've seen you go through a pretty big shift this last year

00:13:01Massive

00:13:02And this is just you know me from an outside perspective

00:13:04With all of the posts that you make just about you know love and gratitude

00:13:08And really and you I don't know I just see

00:13:10So I just wanted to ask you about your journey

00:13:12Oh my goodness

00:13:13It's been a long time coming

00:13:17I never took part in

00:13:20I've always you know walked around feeling lost

00:13:23Very much so that I didn't belong here

00:13:25As an outsider

00:13:27I've always ever since I was a very small child wanted to be alone all the time

00:13:31Feeling disconnected from most human beings

00:13:36It's very strange

00:13:39Changing my diet was a big jump start

00:13:45Detoxing and incorporating certain minerals and earth elements that were missing from a lot of our food sources

00:13:53Really started to allow me to tap into different wavelengths of consciousness

00:13:58Turning inward and healing and beginning to heal from traumas and things I've experienced in my past

00:14:05And allowed myself to perpetuate as a victimized ego

00:14:08So coming into that has been really transformative

00:14:16And the more I lean you know the more I lean into that and more I accept that and embrace it and erase all of the conditioning of our current cultural paradigm that we live in that is so normal and so accepted

00:14:33The more I find myself falling in love with humanity

00:14:38And with everyone I come into contact with

00:14:41And having a deeper sense of I have an immense tremendous purpose here

00:14:47And I'm going to continue my life's work to help others heal from their traumas

00:14:54And to break out of that conditioning

00:14:56So that they can see that there is

00:14:58So much to live for

00:14:59So much more than what our phones provide

00:15:02What music provides

00:15:03What media provides

00:15:04All of the things that we have been in fear of

00:15:09For hundreds of years

00:15:11I should say actually more so in the Western world

00:15:14The past hundred years

00:15:15That has reshaped us into

00:15:17We are living in a fight or flight state most of our lives

00:15:23It has our nervous systems completely overrun with perpetuated fear

00:15:30Yeah

00:15:31And so I think breaking out of that patterning

00:15:34Turning off my TV

00:15:36Getting away from most media outlets

00:15:38You know I contribute to social media

00:15:40But I want everything to

00:15:43Everything I post, everything I share

00:15:45To be able to make somebody smile or laugh

00:15:48Yeah

00:15:49Or look inward or consider

00:15:51Oh maybe I will try that today

00:15:53And say this

00:15:54And I'm still very much in the beginning stages of my

00:15:58Of my perception change and my looking inward

00:16:03But it's been beautiful

00:16:05And I've never really

00:16:07Never expected it to go this far

00:16:10Yeah

00:16:11But I'm so grateful to be here

00:16:13What are some of the biggest issues that you see

00:16:16Like plaguing today's society

00:16:18Like you talked about

00:16:19Like these perpetuated fears

00:16:20Yeah

00:16:21Any specific

00:16:23The worst offenders?

00:16:26I think

00:16:27You know capitalism has really been a tough thing

00:16:32To watch play out

00:16:34We're so enveloped in consumerism

00:16:38And we don't even realize it

00:16:39Yeah

00:16:40For example I was looking the other day

00:16:42I had something on Etsy that was handmade

00:16:45By someone

00:16:46And it was 100 year old wood

00:16:48And it was blessed and this and that

00:16:50And it took so long to get to the United States

00:16:52And shipping

00:16:53And all that

00:16:54And I was like

00:16:55I don't really want to pay that for that

00:16:56And then I was like

00:16:57Wait a minute

00:16:58I have the money to buy this particular thing

00:17:00And this was made by hand by one person

00:17:02Who has put

00:17:03Clearly

00:17:04Has taken the time to write out the

00:17:06What the care that they've put into making this particular object

00:17:10Right

00:17:11And I thought

00:17:12Why am I so disconnected?

00:17:14That's so interesting

00:17:15So I'm still learning my way

00:17:17Yeah I hear you

00:17:18We are very disconnected from the things that we consume

00:17:21Definitely

00:17:22When we walk around

00:17:23And we're always looking for

00:17:25You know we have this hierarchy system

00:17:27I feel like

00:17:28No matter what

00:17:29There's a lot of comparison

00:17:30Between one another

00:17:31Even subconsciously

00:17:32I think that's like

00:17:33One of the biggest problems with social media

00:17:34It's tough

00:17:35The comparison thing

00:17:36And but it is

00:17:37It's like this weird catch 22

00:17:39We have social media

00:17:40We have the internet

00:17:41And the elite system

00:17:43Is teaching us

00:17:44To buy, consume, buy, consume

00:17:46Yeah

00:17:47And fight each other

00:17:48It's separating genders, races, ages

00:17:51I mean it's creating this massive separation

00:17:54But in the first

00:17:56You know that's the first sense I guess

00:17:57In another sense it's the first time

00:17:59All of humanity is connected simultaneously

00:18:02Mm

00:18:03So we're able to talk to each other for the first time

00:18:05Mm-hmm

00:18:06And sharing you know concepts of you know

00:18:10What are you doing today in Indonesia?

00:18:12How are you in China?

00:18:14And you know talking to each other for the first time

00:18:16Whereas you know 50 years ago we were not doing that

00:18:19We had this idea especially in the western world

00:18:22If we were not travelers

00:18:24We had this idea of what they were like over there

00:18:26And honestly everybody's really freaking cool

00:18:29Everywhere

00:18:30Um

00:18:31I love the internet now

00:18:32Because I have that perception of it

00:18:34Right

00:18:35I get to connect with people in Turkey

00:18:37Or in a war-torn country

00:18:39They're still reaching out to me on the internet

00:18:41Because they know what I do

00:18:42And that I speak for love

00:18:43Mm-hmm

00:18:44And not the physical act of love

00:18:45Yes they know I do porn

00:18:46But I speak for love no matter what

00:18:48Mm-hmm

00:18:49That will always be my alternative

00:18:51Yeah

00:18:52So

00:18:54I think capitalism's tough

00:18:56Capitalism is cannibalism

00:18:58Yeah

00:18:59It's consumerism

00:19:00And um

00:19:01Just the division of

00:19:03People just want to find a hierarchy

00:19:05And

00:19:06It's useless now

00:19:08And I love though

00:19:09I love love love

00:19:10That people are

00:19:11Um

00:19:12You know

00:19:13Shit's hitting the fan

00:19:14Mm-hmm

00:19:15Because people are hitting this

00:19:16You know wall of

00:19:17I can't go any further in this old paradigm

00:19:20I don't know what to do next

00:19:22But

00:19:23They're recognizing that they can't go any further in that

00:19:25And that's awesome

00:19:27Because that is the first step to

00:19:29Well there's nowhere else to turn but inward

00:19:31Mm-hmm

00:19:32And more you see more and more people

00:19:34Looking for shamans and retreats

00:19:37And yoga and healthier eating

00:19:39Most everyone you know

00:19:41Is trying some way or another to find a new modality to heal

00:19:45What isn't working anymore

00:19:47Right

00:19:48That is so awesome

00:19:50Yeah

00:19:51Because

00:19:52It's just

00:19:53It's great to see

00:19:54People are sick of things

00:19:55Yeah

00:19:56And that's where it starts

00:19:57Um

00:19:58Have you ever

00:19:59Do you have any experience with ayahuasca?

00:20:00Because my

00:20:01A friend of mine

00:20:02A really really good friend of mine

00:20:03Who just had a very traumatic experience

00:20:04He lost the lead very close to him

00:20:05Mm-hmm

00:20:06Went to Peru

00:20:07And

00:20:08You know

00:20:09And did the whole ayahuasca thing for like a week

00:20:11And

00:20:12I talked to him afterwards

00:20:13And

00:20:14And he was like

00:20:15It's just

00:20:16Changed my life

00:20:17I don't know how to describe it

00:20:18That's incredible

00:20:19All of a sudden

00:20:20It lifted this veil

00:20:21Where he like

00:20:22Says that he sees what's important

00:20:23And he sees what's important

00:20:25And it just changed his perception

00:20:27Drastically

00:20:28And I know Vanessa Vera Cruz did the same thing

00:20:30And she had a really powerful experience

00:20:31Which she talked about on my podcast

00:20:33So

00:20:34Have you had any experience with that?

00:20:36Because that stuff just makes

00:20:37Me so curious

00:20:38But I also wonder

00:20:39Too

00:20:40If it's almost just like

00:20:41Trying to take a shortcut

00:20:43To

00:20:44You know

00:20:45Kind of

00:20:46This

00:20:47Self-realization

00:20:48Good for your friend though

00:20:49Yeah

00:20:50And I did see Vanessa went

00:20:51And that

00:20:52I just

00:20:53I love following her

00:20:54Because her photos are beautiful

00:20:55Yeah

00:20:56And the way she speaks

00:20:57And shares things

00:20:58Um

00:20:59I haven't yet

00:21:00I'm not ready for that journey

00:21:01I have

00:21:02Had

00:21:03Um

00:21:04Several years of experience

00:21:05With

00:21:06medicinal mushroom use

00:21:07Mm-hmm

00:21:08And cannabis use as well

00:21:09Mm-hmm

00:21:10With respect to the plant medicine

00:21:12As well not for

00:21:13You know

00:21:14For a high

00:21:15Mm-hmm

00:21:16Definitely for introspection

00:21:18Um

00:21:19And

00:21:20No I'm not

00:21:21I don't think I'm quite ready

00:21:22Yet

00:21:23Yeah

00:21:24Cause I think

00:21:25I'm curious about it

00:21:26But I'm also fearful of it

00:21:28Also too

00:21:29Because you know

00:21:30I'm sober so I'm afraid

00:21:31I know people say it's not a drug

00:21:33But

00:21:34I've done the most growth

00:21:35Um

00:21:36On my own

00:21:37Right

00:21:38With

00:21:39Um

00:21:40Psilocybin

00:21:41And cannabis

00:21:42I've had some cannabis days

00:21:43Where

00:21:44Um

00:21:45I'll have a particular strain

00:21:46And I'll just be going about

00:21:47Whatever activity I'm doing at home

00:21:48Mm-hmm

00:21:49Painting

00:21:50Laundry or something

00:21:51And I'll just be

00:21:52Considering allowing the

00:21:53The

00:21:54Cannabinoids to

00:21:55Do what

00:21:56Right

00:21:57Allowing my

00:21:58To be

00:21:59For my diet

00:22:00And all my detoxing

00:22:01I've done

00:22:02And let come up in me

00:22:03What is meant to

00:22:04Surface

00:22:05And heal

00:22:06Right

00:22:07Um

00:22:08So I've had a lot of

00:22:09Remarkable breakthroughs

00:22:10With psilocybin

00:22:11Mm-hmm

00:22:12I'm a big advocate

00:22:13Big believer in that

00:22:14Now is that the

00:22:15Medicinal mushrooms

00:22:16Is that the microdosing

00:22:17Okay

00:22:18Yeah I've done quite a bit

00:22:19Of microdosing

00:22:20Okay

00:22:21Beautiful

00:22:22And how does it affect you

00:22:23Um

00:22:24In my youth

00:22:25I

00:22:26I'm very respectful

00:22:27To them

00:22:28Um

00:22:29In

00:22:30Uh

00:22:31I plan my day

00:22:32Around

00:22:33An experience

00:22:34That

00:22:35Whatever comes

00:22:36Whatever is going to

00:22:37Present itself

00:22:38Let that be what it is

00:22:39Mm-hmm

00:22:40Not to

00:22:41Particularly

00:22:42And with any intention

00:22:43Just allow

00:22:44Whatever is going to surface

00:22:45Surface

00:22:46Mm-hmm

00:22:47Because sometimes I'll go in

00:22:48With an intention

00:22:49When it comes to the surface

00:22:50Mm-hmm

00:22:51Um

00:22:52I'll have a trauma

00:22:53Arise from a

00:22:54Childhood experience

00:22:55That I had completely

00:22:56Suppressed

00:22:57Mm-hmm

00:22:58For 20 years

00:22:59Or 30 years

00:23:00Or something

00:23:01And then that comes up

00:23:02And then I go through that

00:23:03But

00:23:04Um

00:23:05The most emotional

00:23:07Tr

00:23:08Just dramatic

00:23:09Changes

00:23:10Um

00:23:11Have occurred in a day

00:23:12Mm-hmm

00:23:13With psilocybin for me

00:23:14And I think

00:23:15With anything though

00:23:16With any plant medicine

00:23:17Or any introspection

00:23:18With assistance from

00:23:20Plant wisdom

00:23:21Impires a lot of assimilation too

00:23:23Mm-hmm

00:23:24I think it's important

00:23:25If you're going to do

00:23:26The ayahuasca retreats

00:23:27And going overseas

00:23:28And making that a journey

00:23:29In your spiritual expansion

00:23:32I think it's very crucial

00:23:34To allow yourself time

00:23:36To assimilate whatever

00:23:37You've absorbed

00:23:38Or whatever you've learned

00:23:39In that experience

00:23:40I feel a lot of people

00:23:41Come back and

00:23:42They're so excited

00:23:43To share their experience

00:23:44And um

00:23:46You know

00:23:47Just I'm a new person now

00:23:48And and

00:23:49But they don't put

00:23:50To work

00:23:51What they've learned

00:23:52Or allow themselves

00:23:53The time to absorb

00:23:54Everything that really

00:23:55Came through

00:23:56During that moment

00:23:57Of connection with source

00:23:58Yeah I think that

00:23:59I feel like that's what

00:24:00I would do

00:24:01Like I would want to go

00:24:02And just get some quick fix

00:24:03Have some experience

00:24:04That would

00:24:05Somehow make me

00:24:06Like a better person

00:24:07Then come back

00:24:08Back to exactly

00:24:09My same life

00:24:10Doing the exact same things

00:24:11And like

00:24:12Have it you know

00:24:13Change me

00:24:14And then

00:24:15When I try to think about

00:24:16What are my intentions

00:24:18Like for this

00:24:19Like do I really

00:24:20Actually want to become

00:24:21Like a spiritually

00:24:23Um more open person

00:24:25Or do I think

00:24:26It's gonna like

00:24:27Make me a better worker

00:24:28And like

00:24:29So I can produce more

00:24:30Cause I'm still like

00:24:31Always chasing that career high

00:24:32You know what I mean

00:24:33For sure yeah

00:24:34Like like

00:24:35Would I be going with

00:24:36The intention of

00:24:37Perhaps

00:24:38Changing things in my life

00:24:39Not working so much

00:24:40Yeah

00:24:41Which to me

00:24:42Just seems insane

00:24:43So I feel like

00:24:44My intentions for doing that

00:24:46Are not the right ones

00:24:47It's

00:24:48It's

00:24:49Surprising sometimes

00:24:50What you get

00:24:51When you do

00:24:52Go the plant

00:24:53Medicine route

00:24:54I know psilocybin

00:24:55There have been days

00:24:56When like I said

00:24:57I've gone in with an intention

00:24:58And I actually do resolve that

00:25:00Whatever that intention is

00:25:01That I need to consider this

00:25:03And that ends up getting resolved

00:25:05During that trip

00:25:06Other days

00:25:07I let come

00:25:08What may be

00:25:09And it's the most transformative

00:25:11It

00:25:12The days that I allow it

00:25:14To bring up in me

00:25:15Whatever is going to arise

00:25:17Is going to arise

00:25:18No matter what

00:25:19It's never

00:25:20You know if you were

00:25:21If you have a benevolent intention

00:25:23And you know that it's going to be

00:25:24For your best and highest expansion

00:25:26It might not be

00:25:27What the you now

00:25:29That you perceive

00:25:30May want

00:25:31But it may bring you in a direction

00:25:33That might make you happier

00:25:35So it just

00:25:36It's

00:25:37Completely unexpected

00:25:39Unpredictable

00:25:40In the best way

00:25:41So

00:25:42But you're microdosing

00:25:43Right?

00:25:44So you're not actually like experiencing

00:25:45Like a full mushroom trip

00:25:46No

00:25:47Where you're like

00:25:48Seeing patterns on the wall

00:25:49And shit like that

00:25:50Like can you

00:25:51Are you

00:25:52Are you feeling pretty sober

00:25:54But

00:25:55Because people I've talked to

00:25:56You've done microdosing

00:25:57Say it's like

00:25:58It's not really a high

00:26:00It's almost like

00:26:01It's not

00:26:02Having caffeine

00:26:03But not

00:26:04I don't know

00:26:05It seems like impossible to describe

00:26:06It's

00:26:07It's very very different

00:26:08It does motivate you to do something productive

00:26:11And it comes in waves

00:26:12For me at least

00:26:13The way I've perceived it is

00:26:15During the first hour

00:26:16I

00:26:17On an empty stomach

00:26:18With a little bit of juice

00:26:19Or something acidic

00:26:20A little lemon or apple cider vinegar

00:26:22I allow it to come into my system

00:26:24Because you have to give that

00:26:26That respect

00:26:28And that

00:26:29You have to kind of step back

00:26:30And allow it to come in

00:26:31Because

00:26:32You will become very emotional

00:26:34And you will appreciate

00:26:36Little things

00:26:37And something

00:26:38So seemingly

00:26:39In waking consciousness

00:26:41Insignificant

00:26:42May make you bawl your eyes out

00:26:43The beauty of a bird

00:26:45Landing on your balcony porch

00:26:47While you're looking at the sky

00:26:48Just you

00:26:49May just burst into tears

00:26:50But

00:26:51I think

00:26:52Just kind of riding that wave

00:26:55It comes in waves

00:26:56So sometimes

00:26:57I'll be microdosing at home

00:26:59And with an agenda in mind

00:27:02Or an intention

00:27:03And I end up cleaning out my closet

00:27:06And getting rid of half my clothes

00:27:08Or cutting my hair

00:27:09Or

00:27:10But everything I do

00:27:11I'm like

00:27:12Yes, this is what's coming next

00:27:13And this is what I need to do

00:27:14And this is going to be great

00:27:15Never regret a thing I do

00:27:17Never do anything dangerous

00:27:19And I'm never at a point where

00:27:21It's altering my perception

00:27:23To

00:27:24Where I'm

00:27:25I'm not mindful of what's going on

00:27:27I'm very much

00:27:29Aware of them

00:27:31When they're in my system

00:27:33And

00:27:34Just mindful of

00:27:36The feeling that is coming and going

00:27:39And

00:27:40So it's very soft

00:27:42Very gentle

00:27:43It's never overwhelming

00:27:45I think in an emotional sense sometimes

00:27:47They can be quite overwhelming

00:27:48But in general it's not overwhelming

00:27:50Or scary

00:27:51I'm also not taking them

00:27:53To experience colors

00:27:54And shapes

00:27:55And

00:27:56Distorted vision

00:27:57And things like that

00:27:58Or an altered perception

00:27:59I'm

00:28:00I'm going in with a

00:28:01Set intention of

00:28:02How can this allow me to grow

00:28:04As a person

00:28:05And to help serve others

00:28:07It's so interesting to see the way

00:28:09That like these drugs are being used

00:28:11In different ways

00:28:12And how there's a whole new perception

00:28:14Of them

00:28:15Because I used to do a ton of acid

00:28:16When I was 15

00:28:17But you know

00:28:18Like tabs of acid

00:28:19And like

00:28:20Tripped balls

00:28:21And you know

00:28:22Mushrooms too

00:28:23And you know

00:28:24That was purely for recreational use

00:28:25And it was very

00:28:26Careless and reckless

00:28:28And

00:28:29That was my understanding too

00:28:30When I went in

00:28:31Very deviant

00:28:32Yeah

00:28:33But I know so many people

00:28:34Who

00:28:35You know

00:28:36Practice that

00:28:37And

00:28:38A friend of mine sent me

00:28:39Like a bunch of literature on it

00:28:40And I was reading like

00:28:41Reddit

00:28:42You know

00:28:43Reddit

00:28:44On Reddit about it

00:28:45And

00:28:46It's kind of really interesting

00:28:47People are talking about

00:28:48How

00:28:49It's

00:28:50It helps like

00:28:51With addiction

00:28:52And it helps with depression

00:28:53And

00:28:54I think they're here

00:28:55They're here for us

00:28:56Yeah

00:28:57They really are here for us

00:28:58Because it wouldn't be

00:28:59It wouldn't be doing that

00:29:00You know

00:29:01Of course

00:29:02When I

00:29:03I told my parents

00:29:04Flat out

00:29:05Hey I'm starting to microdose

00:29:06Because I need to heal

00:29:07From some of these things

00:29:08I experienced as a kid

00:29:09And

00:29:10Well you know

00:29:11Look out

00:29:12Because I had a buddy Joe

00:29:13Back in the day

00:29:14And he never came back

00:29:15There's that old understanding

00:29:16And when I first started

00:29:17You know

00:29:18When I was introduced to them

00:29:19I had that knowledge

00:29:21That old paradigm knowledge

00:29:23Of you do a bunch of mushrooms

00:29:25And you see shapes and colors

00:29:26And you freak out

00:29:27And you're scared

00:29:28Mm-hmm

00:29:29So going into them

00:29:30I was

00:29:31I was intimidated

00:29:32Mm-hmm

00:29:33But

00:29:34Mushrooms are here for us

00:29:35Mm-hmm

00:29:36100%

00:29:37Just as cannabis is I believe

00:29:38Yeah

00:29:39It's really interesting

00:29:40Okay

00:29:41Well we're gonna take a quick break

00:29:42And

00:29:43We will be right back

00:29:45Cool

00:29:46Okay

00:29:47We can be right back

00:29:48Unless

00:29:49Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything?

00:29:50No no I am good

00:29:51Are we still alive?

00:29:52Yeah we're still alive

00:29:53He just has to cut like the audio

00:29:54So I can insert my commercials later

00:29:56Ooh

00:29:57So

00:29:58Manscaped

00:29:59Manscaped

00:30:00Lawn Mower 2.0

00:30:03Manscaped

00:30:05Okay

00:30:06Good?

00:30:07Okay

00:30:08Alright

00:30:09And we're back

00:30:10So one of the other

00:30:11Really big steps that I saw you take this year

00:30:14Was you got your breast implants removed

00:30:16Yes

00:30:17So what was your decision behind that?

00:30:19And are you happy that you did it?

00:30:21Oh my goodness

00:30:23I

00:30:24I was

00:30:25I was a double D

00:30:26Mm-hmm

00:30:27When I first got them done

00:30:28They weren't done correctly

00:30:30When I first

00:30:31Got my first pair

00:30:32Mm-hmm

00:30:33I had a revision surgery

00:30:34That went well

00:30:35It was helpful

00:30:37And then I went smaller

00:30:41November of 2018

00:30:42I remember that

00:30:43I think I shot you right before you went smaller

00:30:45Right before

00:30:46Yes

00:30:47You're right

00:30:48I was thinking that that was going to be my next step

00:30:51Mm-hmm

00:30:52And you know working on

00:30:53Laser sessions to help those

00:30:56The skin texture and scarring and stretch marks

00:30:58Mm-hmm

00:30:59While the implants were in

00:31:00Was originally my goal

00:31:01Mm-hmm

00:31:02After going smaller

00:31:03About six months after that

00:31:04I just

00:31:05Started to feel like poop

00:31:06Mm-hmm

00:31:07Like something's not right

00:31:08My right side's not healing very well

00:31:10I don't know why

00:31:11I don't know what's going on

00:31:13I'm healthy

00:31:14I'm active

00:31:15My mobility was improved

00:31:16But

00:31:17Something was off

00:31:19And I started reading

00:31:20Or

00:31:21You know

00:31:22I

00:31:23Played a really big part in it

00:31:24Because I was

00:31:25Reading more and more and more

00:31:26About

00:31:27Breast implant illness

00:31:28And the symptoms

00:31:29And

00:31:30Things surrounding that

00:31:31I was never diagnosed

00:31:32And

00:31:33I also didn't let it get that far

00:31:34It was less than a year

00:31:35That I had the smaller implants

00:31:37And I called my doctor

00:31:38And I said I want these out

00:31:39Can you replace them with fat

00:31:41He said

00:31:42Already?

00:31:43Really?

00:31:44You just got them

00:31:45Yeah

00:31:46The work we did

00:31:47Because

00:31:48They were

00:31:49Not done right

00:31:50And

00:31:51So

00:31:52There was a lot of reconstruction

00:31:53That needed

00:31:54In the end

00:31:55But

00:31:56It's been

00:31:57It'll be three weeks tomorrow

00:31:58I've never felt better

00:32:00Really?

00:32:01I feel

00:32:02I

00:32:03I feel sexy

00:32:04I've never

00:32:05I mean

00:32:06Having

00:32:07You know

00:32:08I didn't realize it for so long

00:32:10I wanted to fit into this

00:32:12During the time

00:32:13During that

00:32:14The porn culture is weird

00:32:15Like

00:32:16Our time periods are different

00:32:17Than regular society

00:32:18Yeah

00:32:19Like

00:32:20Six months is

00:32:21An eternity

00:32:22Yeah

00:32:23In the way porn culture changes

00:32:24So

00:32:25You know

00:32:26Nine years ago

00:32:27I got my implants in

00:32:28Because that's what was in

00:32:29Big giant boobs

00:32:30And I was the new girl

00:32:31With the big implants

00:32:32So I was put in

00:32:33With the all stars

00:32:34That had big implants

00:32:36And

00:32:37So

00:32:38As time kind of progressed

00:32:39I was like

00:32:40God this isn't really my thing

00:32:41But I'm going to keep them up

00:32:42And

00:32:43You know

00:32:44I'm going to keep them in

00:32:45And I'm going to be the big boob porn star

00:32:46And

00:32:47I started

00:32:48I find myself

00:32:49Feeling less confident

00:32:51And

00:32:52Just

00:32:53I wanted to wear more clothes

00:32:54And I still

00:32:55I dress pretty

00:32:56Mild

00:32:57Yeah

00:32:58I'm not like a flashy dresser

00:32:59Right

00:33:00I don't show a lot of skin

00:33:01But

00:33:02I noticed

00:33:03I just

00:33:04I wasn't

00:33:05I didn't want to go out

00:33:06I just

00:33:07I don't really

00:33:08You know

00:33:09If I began to get healthier and healthier

00:33:11My body mass index got smaller and smaller

00:33:13So I was losing

00:33:14A lot of

00:33:15Just body fat

00:33:16Right

00:33:17Going vegan

00:33:18And all this stuff was changing

00:33:19So they looked bigger and bigger

00:33:21And

00:33:22So

00:33:23I don't know

00:33:24I just woke up one morning

00:33:25And I was like

00:33:26I

00:33:27I don't care if I lose work

00:33:28These have to come out

00:33:30It's a foreign object

00:33:31And something's wrong with them

00:33:33Um

00:33:34I noticed

00:33:36About eight days after I got them out

00:33:38Something changed

00:33:39In

00:33:40And I've been on this

00:33:41Spiritual journey

00:33:42So you know

00:33:43I've been very self aware

00:33:44Of

00:33:45My thought patterns

00:33:46And

00:33:47My skin

00:33:48And my

00:33:49You know

00:33:50Just the way I'm

00:33:51My digestion

00:33:52Everything

00:33:53Something is different for sure

00:33:54I feel

00:33:55Immensely better

00:33:56Um

00:33:57And I've already gotten

00:33:58So much support

00:33:59So what I did

00:34:00As a little experiment

00:34:02Before I pulled the trigger

00:34:04I

00:34:05Ran a few polls

00:34:07You know

00:34:08Do you guys like natural boobs?

00:34:09Or you know

00:34:10Twitter and Instagram

00:34:11Yeah

00:34:12Um

00:34:13And I was watching

00:34:14The trends as well

00:34:15Lean more towards

00:34:16Natural breasted women

00:34:18Yeah

00:34:19Bigger

00:34:20Big natural boobs

00:34:21Which is

00:34:22Those are always gonna be

00:34:23And fake boobs have their place too

00:34:24And if women want that

00:34:25They should be

00:34:26Um

00:34:27Of course

00:34:28Empowered to

00:34:29Do what suits them

00:34:30Right

00:34:31It's just

00:34:32I had this

00:34:33Um

00:34:34Inner knowing that I have to get these out

00:34:35No matter what

00:34:36And I'm so extremely grateful

00:34:38For the support

00:34:39Of

00:34:40Not only my fan base

00:34:41But the companies

00:34:42That I've worked for

00:34:43For ten years

00:34:44That are like

00:34:45We can't wait to have you back

00:34:46We're excited

00:34:47We're ready

00:34:48Congratulations on your choice

00:34:49And

00:34:50You know

00:34:51I know I'm not gonna fit

00:34:52The traditional role

00:34:53Where I was

00:34:54I'm not getting any younger

00:34:55I'm in my thirties now

00:34:56Self role thing

00:34:57Which is great

00:34:58I'm happy to fulfill any role

00:34:59That keeps me working

00:35:00Yeah

00:35:01Yeah I hear ya

00:35:02But

00:35:03Um

00:35:04Yeah to be in that position

00:35:05To be able to make that choice

00:35:06And to still have just a resounding yes

00:35:09Was a huge relief

00:35:11And I feel better than I ever have

00:35:13And I feel

00:35:14I feel sexy

00:35:15Yeah

00:35:16So I wanted to

00:35:17I wanna go out and do more

00:35:18And at this point though

00:35:19It hasn't been very long since I've taken

00:35:22Begun to take my break

00:35:23But I don't know that I'm gonna go back

00:35:25To shooting?

00:35:26I'm gonna go shoot for my own channel

00:35:28Right

00:35:29For a few months

00:35:30And see how I feel

00:35:31As I continue to heal

00:35:32And work on

00:35:33Any minor

00:35:34You know scarring

00:35:35And things like that

00:35:36Just really take care of my body

00:35:38To be able to get back to

00:35:39Full fledged health

00:35:41But

00:35:42I'm

00:35:44I'm considering just sticking to my own stuff

00:35:46And if I go back

00:35:47Go back for you

00:35:48Do a content day with you

00:35:49Go back for

00:35:50You know

00:35:51A couple

00:35:52Collect companies

00:35:53Yeah

00:35:54Well I mean you're self representing

00:35:56Make your own decisions

00:35:57And I imagine that you do well

00:35:58With your own channels

00:35:59Yeah

00:36:00That you're in that place

00:36:01That a lot of

00:36:02You know popular girls

00:36:03Are finding themselves these days

00:36:04Where they really get to make the choices

00:36:06That they wanna make

00:36:07And believe me

00:36:08I totally get it

00:36:09Like I think to myself

00:36:10Sometimes

00:36:11Like if I

00:36:12You know didn't have to

00:36:13Would I work for other people?

00:36:15You know

00:36:16Probably not

00:36:18Yeah

00:36:19Cause shooting for yourself

00:36:21Is like so gratifying

00:36:22When you have complete control over everything

00:36:24Yeah

00:36:25But yeah same thing

00:36:26Maybe certain projects here and there

00:36:27Like you know

00:36:28Maybe the twisties treat

00:36:29I like doing that

00:36:30Yeah

00:36:31They're really creative

00:36:32But

00:36:33So I totally understand

00:36:34Yes

00:36:35That feeling

00:36:36And I know a lot of girls are doing that

00:36:37I had Mia Malkovan recently

00:36:38You know

00:36:39And she's only shooting for herself now

00:36:40And

00:36:41She's doing wonderfully

00:36:42She's doing great

00:36:43Yeah

00:36:44And I mean you guys put in your time

00:36:45We've done a lot

00:36:46You know

00:36:47Been a lot

00:36:48We've been a lot of places

00:36:49Yeah

00:36:50And going back in January

00:36:51After having had taken a break

00:36:53I'm exhausted

00:36:54Yeah

00:36:55Some of these days

00:36:56And the rate is the same

00:36:57Our earnings are the same

00:36:59No matter if we're on set for three hours

00:37:01Or sixteen hours

00:37:02Yes this is true

00:37:03And I still live two and a half hours

00:37:04Or three and a half hours

00:37:05On a traffic-y day

00:37:06Yeah

00:37:07From my home

00:37:08So

00:37:09That's a tough deal

00:37:10Yeah

00:37:11But I'm going to be very selective

00:37:13And I still am waffling

00:37:16I'm not sure if I will come back fully

00:37:19Yeah

00:37:20But I'm just so grateful for the support

00:37:22Of all my amazing fans and stuff

00:37:24Like they're freaking awesome

00:37:26I really support them

00:37:27Have you found like there's a different

00:37:29Like that

00:37:30The quality

00:37:31I don't want to say the quality

00:37:32Maybe the type of fan

00:37:33Has changed for you

00:37:35Over the last couple years

00:37:36Like as you've changed as a person

00:37:38Oh most definitely

00:37:39Yes

00:37:40And like your perception

00:37:41And just the way I think you engage

00:37:42On social media

00:37:43Do you find that the kind of people

00:37:44That are

00:37:45Absolutely

00:37:46Follow you are different

00:37:47Yes

00:37:48The more I am myself

00:37:50And as I expand into the being

00:37:54That I've always meant to

00:37:55I've always been meant to be this way

00:37:57And I'm always continuing to grow

00:37:59But the more I am my most heart-centered

00:38:02Authentic innocent self

00:38:04That I've always really wanted to be

00:38:06Outside of the cultural norms

00:38:08Of you know

00:38:09Posting a half-naked photo

00:38:11Which is what gets people's attention

00:38:13Unfortunately nowadays

00:38:14Right, that's true

00:38:15And then posting a meaningless caption

00:38:17Is no longer in my reality

00:38:19Mm-hmm

00:38:20I am

00:38:21I just feel so inclined to post a photo

00:38:24Get their attention

00:38:25Because I have 96% male viewership

00:38:27Yeah

00:38:28And social media across the board

00:38:3096% male

00:38:31So if I can get half of those people

00:38:34To read my caption

00:38:35And if half of those people

00:38:37Feel inspired by something positive I write

00:38:39Then my job's done

00:38:40Yeah

00:38:41I don't care if I ever shoot

00:38:42For another outside company again

00:38:43Right

00:38:44If I can get the numbers

00:38:45And get people to feel something

00:38:47That is different

00:38:48Than what they're experiencing

00:38:49On social media

00:38:50Every waking minute

00:38:51Mm-hmm

00:38:52Then I'm excited about that

00:38:53Yeah

00:38:54Yeah

00:38:55But yes, my fans

00:38:56My comments

00:38:57My responses

00:38:58And the way people are responding

00:39:01To the way I'm changing

00:39:02Is so gratifying

00:39:04Because in general

00:39:06I've felt more

00:39:07Of a positive rubber band effect

00:39:10Than I've ever received

00:39:12And I feel that people understand

00:39:14That this is real for me

00:39:16This transformation

00:39:17And expansion of my higher self

00:39:20Is happening live

00:39:21In front of everyone's eyes

00:39:23And I want to share that

00:39:24With as many people as possible

00:39:26And it's not about getting people

00:39:28To go vegan

00:39:29Or to join a cult

00:39:30Or I mean none of that

00:39:31I just

00:39:32I want people to be happy

00:39:33Mm-hmm

00:39:34We're all

00:39:35I mean everything is great

00:39:36And no one's happy

00:39:37Yeah

00:39:38So

00:39:39Yeah

00:39:40The more we get what we want

00:39:41The less satisfied we become

00:39:42That's the western world

00:39:43Yeah

00:39:44It's capitalism for you

00:39:45It's consumerism

00:39:46And it's in all of our brains

00:39:48Muddling our heart-brain connection

00:39:50Mm-hmm

00:39:51And people are really looking outward

00:39:55For something more

00:39:56They're not getting it on social media

00:39:58They're not getting anyone

00:39:59Who's saying

00:40:00You're beautiful

00:40:01You're incredible

00:40:02Man, woman, or child, creed, or color

00:40:04Whatever shape you come in

00:40:05You're incredible

00:40:06You're so fucking awesome

00:40:09And people are

00:40:10You know

00:40:11You know

00:40:12Build an empire

00:40:13And be a go-getter

00:40:14And fight for what you believe in

00:40:16That's not what it's about

00:40:17Yeah

00:40:18That's not the innate human qualities

00:40:19That we were all born with

00:40:20Yeah

00:40:21And I'm excited to share that

00:40:23That new reality coming into being

00:40:26I feel like more people are looking for that

00:40:27But they just don't recognize that yet

00:40:29You know, it's interesting

00:40:30I think

00:40:31What you were saying

00:40:32You know, western culture

00:40:33Especially America

00:40:34I

00:40:35My favorite podcast

00:40:36That I listen to all the time

00:40:37Is This American Life

00:40:38And they did an episode recently about

00:40:43It's called Americans in Paris

00:40:46And there was this one where they talked about

00:40:51This woman who had moved to Paris from here

00:40:53Just talked about how different the French are

00:40:57With what they value in life

00:41:00So grateful

00:41:01Yeah

00:41:02And just like the way that we are here in America

00:41:05How we, you know, work 80 hour weeks

00:41:07And we're all about like being the best

00:41:09And like, you know, being top

00:41:12Competitive

00:41:13So competitive

00:41:14The number one

00:41:15Entrepreneurs

00:41:16Like you're only worth something

00:41:18If you have this big career

00:41:19Yeah

00:41:20Like how they just think that's insane

00:41:22It is

00:41:23And like they don't understand

00:41:24The way that we have that drive

00:41:26Yeah

00:41:27And I don't know

00:41:29It just made me like

00:41:30I don't have a desire to move to France

00:41:32But it kind of made me feel like

00:41:34I don't

00:41:35You know, you get so caught up in that culture

00:41:37Yeah

00:41:38And like you said that whole comparison thing

00:41:39I go on

00:41:40On

00:41:41Fucking

00:41:42Instagram all the time

00:41:43Oh yeah

00:41:44And I see things that other people are doing

00:41:45And I like

00:41:46Feel like I'm not doing that

00:41:47I'm not doing

00:41:48Like, you know, it makes me feel

00:41:49Less than 100%

00:41:50Yes

00:41:51It's like not healthy

00:41:52And I don't know

00:41:53I just listened to this program

00:41:54And then I just had this idea of like

00:41:55What would my life be like

00:41:57If, you know, being the most successful

00:42:00Pornographer of all time

00:42:03Wasn't like my ultimate goal

00:42:05Yeah

00:42:06Like what would my life be like

00:42:07If like my work wasn't

00:42:09You know, the

00:42:11Everything that it is to me

00:42:12And I don't know how to answer that

00:42:14I feel like

00:42:15I've gotten that a lot from people

00:42:18Like how do you not compete?

00:42:20How do you not

00:42:21There's

00:42:22There's

00:42:23Literally

00:42:24Like I have given up

00:42:25Or released

00:42:26Jealousy in comparison

00:42:28Because we're all on our specific journey

00:42:30And I'm not meant to experience that

00:42:32Level of success

00:42:33That other women

00:42:34At my

00:42:35You know, timeline

00:42:36Or whatever in porn

00:42:37Are experiencing

00:42:38Through social media

00:42:39You know, booms

00:42:40And things like that

00:42:41And also too

00:42:42Like one

00:42:43We never think about how people

00:42:44Only post the best of what's happening

00:42:46On their life

00:42:47It's completely scripted

00:42:48Not like, yeah

00:42:49So, you know

00:42:50We're not seeing like a real

00:42:51A true reality

00:42:52And then of course

00:42:53When somebody posts something

00:42:54On social media

00:42:55About like shit that's going down

00:42:57In your life

00:42:58You're like, oh god

00:42:59This person's such a bummer

00:43:00Yeah

00:43:01Like it's so negative

00:43:02I don't wanna read about that

00:43:03But we're upset

00:43:04When they post a success

00:43:05Or something

00:43:06Yeah, like I'm doing so great

00:43:07It's like, oh fuck that person

00:43:08Yeah, which

00:43:09If we were to experience that success

00:43:12Would it affect us in the same way?

00:43:14Yeah

00:43:15Are they really truly genuinely

00:43:17Being fulfilled by that particular success

00:43:19Right

00:43:20That they announced so loudly

00:43:21Yeah

00:43:22But I feel like your

00:43:23You know, any of our unrest

00:43:25That we, you know, feel

00:43:27I wish I was this, this, and this, this

00:43:29Or you're out of place

00:43:30Or you wish you were somewhere else

00:43:31I feel like we're all here now

00:43:34Or are perceived now

00:43:36Because time is nonsense

00:43:39We're all here to

00:43:41That change

00:43:42And if you're here

00:43:44And you feel out of place

00:43:45And you feel like, oh, what is this?

00:43:46And you're, it's just

00:43:47That's the beginning of your transition

00:43:49Something is coming for sure

00:43:51Nothing stays the same

00:43:53Literally

00:43:54Like, third dimensional acceptance of time

00:43:59Is just like, where are we gonna meet and when?

00:44:01That's, that's all it's for

00:44:03But it's, it's amazing

00:44:05Like the more you kind of go with, you know

00:44:09I've turned off so much

00:44:11And if I catch myself scrolling

00:44:13I'm like, oh my god, what am I doing?

00:44:15Because I, that is, that's entrainment

00:44:18Teaching me to compare myself

00:44:20And measure my own self-worth

00:44:22By the success or failures of others

00:44:24That I witness

00:44:25And, um, social media can be

00:44:28A beautiful thing

00:44:30It's awesome

00:44:31Because it's so weird

00:44:32Once you, you practice that enough

00:44:34Of non-competition

00:44:36And, and feeling a self-worth

00:44:38No matter what anyone else is doing

00:44:40You can scroll

00:44:41And you can see

00:44:42Oh, so and so got this stupid award

00:44:44That means nothing to me

00:44:45Good for them

00:44:46I'm happy for them

00:44:47Right

00:44:48If they feel that their self-worth

00:44:49Is based on whatever that is

00:44:50At that time in their evolution

00:44:52Good for them

00:44:53Right

00:44:54They deserve to feel that, that gratification

00:44:56Um, but I just no longer feel any

00:44:59I mean, less and less negativity every day

00:45:03Yeah

00:45:04I also recognize too

00:45:05When I'm looking at other people's Instagram

00:45:08And I'm feeling like anger

00:45:10Or I'm feeling comparison

00:45:11Or I'm feeling jealousy

00:45:12That's so much more a reflection of myself

00:45:15And where I'm at in my life

00:45:17Yeah

00:45:18As opposed to, you know, whatever I may think about them

00:45:21If I think they're, you know, obnoxious

00:45:23Or, um, really pretentious, you know

00:45:27Yeah

00:45:28You know, I think that says a lot about

00:45:29How I'm feeling about myself at the time

00:45:31Yeah, for sure

00:45:32And if, if someone's boisterous about their post

00:45:34Then you can also look at it

00:45:36And as, you know, that's what they need

00:45:39To share with the world to feel gratified

00:45:42To feel gratification

00:45:43Right

00:45:44To feel like, okay, I'm alright with myself

00:45:47Rather than posting, you know

00:45:49I, I really applaud, um, my friends and people that I see posting

00:45:53I'm having kind of a down day today

00:45:55Or just being honest about how they're feeling

00:45:57What they're experiencing

00:45:58Right

00:45:59Because we're not doing that on social media

00:46:00We're not, I don't think we're sharing

00:46:02The honest, um, open communication

00:46:05About heart-centered issues

00:46:06Right

00:46:07That we really should be

00:46:08We're sharing, um, this hierarchy

00:46:10This structure of

00:46:11Mm-hmm

00:46:12I'm up here and you're down there

00:46:13Yeah

00:46:14And that's not reality

00:46:15It's really separated us from each other

00:46:17And from ourselves

00:46:19Um, but I feel like it's also, like, supreme time to be incarnated right now

00:46:23Mm-hmm

00:46:24Because we can share with each other simultaneously all around the world

00:46:27Yeah

00:46:28And I feel like more and more

00:46:30There's, um, a much more unified attempt at connecting on a heart-centered level

00:46:36For a lot of people

00:46:37A desire to do so

00:46:38Yeah

00:46:39The first time

00:46:40Compassion, I think, is just really big right now

00:46:43Yeah, I think as much as we're seeing, you know, the bad things about this kind of, you know, worldwide connectivity

00:46:50With, um, you know, the harmful effects of social media

00:46:55We're also seeing that, that compassion that you're talking about

00:46:58And people kind of, like, really talking about love

00:47:01And talking about, um, accepting yourself for who you are

00:47:05And embracing all people

00:47:07So, you know, it's a double-edged sword

00:47:09Mm-hmm

00:47:10And, um, it's, you know, social media can be a wonderful thing

00:47:14And it can be a bad thing

00:47:17But I think, ultimately, you know, it's up to the user to decide how they want to take that

00:47:22Yeah, it's up to us really seeing through that veil

00:47:25Mm-hmm

00:47:26Of, um, what is faux and what is real

00:47:29Yeah

00:47:30And I think, um, more and more people reaching out for that, that interconnectedness

00:47:35Rather than that comparison and tearing each other down

00:47:38Even if it's in a subtle way

00:47:40Mm-hmm

00:47:41People are, are really inspired by that connectedness

00:47:44Because they desire that

00:47:45We've been so cut off from each other for a long time

00:47:47Yes, yeah

00:47:48So, tell me, take me a little bit, like, through maybe one of your days where you're not working

00:47:53Like, do you have a meditation practice?

00:47:55Do you have a routine that you follow in the morning or maybe at night?

00:47:58Is there any kind of advice that you could give somebody who's maybe seeking a way to kind of explore a more spiritual path?

00:48:05Um, what are some of the things that you did, besides, you know, the obvious diet change that you've talked about

00:48:10Mm-hmm

00:48:11Um, that kind of helped you, helped you move along that way?

00:48:14The, the diet change was big

00:48:16Right

00:48:17Um, the healthier, cleaner, sustainable eating, um, along with pretty hardcore detoxing as well

00:48:24And incorporating a lot of minerals and earth elements that we're lacking from our normal American diets

00:48:32Was a big precursor for, um, an inner spiritual cognitive awakening

00:48:39Mm-hmm

00:48:40Um, I was never, uh, I never looked into the, the smart category

00:48:47Um, I was looking for something else

00:48:49Mm-hmm

00:48:50I, I, not from here, I don't think

00:48:52Don't fit into this

00:48:53Um, and I'm, I'm kind of at the point where I, I'm still assimilating what I've learned so far

00:48:59I'm learning something new every single day

00:49:01Mm-hmm

00:49:02So I would say, um, to someone looking to start out

00:49:06I mean, my average day is pretty, pretty quiet

00:49:09A lot of tea, I love my tea

00:49:11Um, but, you know, I, every day I'm incorporating minerals and detox supplements to continually filter out the, the, I know I'm gonna be called woo-woo, but the aluminum particles are exposed to

00:49:24And the, and the plastic microparticles and the toxins in the food that we're eating

00:49:29And the over-processed everything that we're being bombarded with

00:49:32Mm-hmm

00:49:33Whether it be the sounds we hear or the visions, the visible things that we look at and everything is, is really designed to be over stimulating

00:49:42Mm-hmm

00:49:43Um, so I've, I turned off, uh, I know I'm crazy, but just a lot of people out there

00:49:51I've turned off most media

00:49:53I do not watch television

00:49:55I'll watch some reruns of The Office once in a while

00:49:57Cause I'm sorry, that is hysterical

00:49:59But I can, I'm not involved in it

00:50:01Right

00:50:02I'm not into it, I'm not causing a rise in my blood pressure

00:50:05Right

00:50:06Um, I, I'm, I live a very stress-free life

00:50:09I separate myself from most everything that doesn't concern me intimately

00:50:13Mm-hmm

00:50:14Or doesn't require my immediate attention

00:50:16Um, no TV, no, uh, no current music

00:50:21I listen to now an entirely different array of music than I listened to even a year ago

00:50:27Mm-hmm

00:50:28And it's completely, I, I'm a big believer in, um, binaural beats as well

00:50:32Okay

00:50:33Fantastic

00:50:34Hemi-sync is great

00:50:35Yeah, I think that's stuff that, like, taps into a certain, like, uh, wavelength in your brain

00:50:40It does

00:50:41I think Charlotte Stokely told me about that

00:50:42They're incredible

00:50:43Yeah

00:50:44Yes, that's been a really, that's been fun

00:50:45And I think they have, like, a playlist like that on Pandora that I saved

00:50:49Yes, they do

00:50:50Yeah

00:50:51Yeah

00:50:52Really, really great

00:50:53There's a lot of different places you can find them

00:50:54You just have to, just have to search

00:50:55Mm-hmm

00:50:56Um, I would, I, my life is very quiet

00:50:59Um, I think the advice that I would give to others to begin is, um, start with some detox stuff

00:51:07Um, try, um, she legit, sulfic acid, uh, zeolites, um, pace, detoxing is really important because our bodies are inundated with chemicals, um, and stuff that is blocking us from getting in touch with us

00:51:24Mm-hmm

00:51:25Um, so detoxing from, from media and from yucky food and incorporating minerals, um, pick up a book, you know, go into a, a bookshop and pick up something new

00:51:37I would say, um, on a more activity level based thing, I, I would suggest to people just try something different, um, shake up your routine in any way you possibly can

00:51:50These people are very, we're routine based

00:51:52Right

00:51:53We love that, we love predictability

00:51:54Um, I never do the same thing in the same day, like in any particular order

00:51:59Mm-hmm

00:52:00Never, because it, I did feel stagnant

00:52:03Mm-hmm

00:52:03When I do that

00:52:04So a lot of variety in your activities, um, if you go to the same coffee shop every day, switch it up, take a different route home, wear a different colored shirt, do your hair different, you know, shave your eyebrows off, I don't know

00:52:16Just do something that shakes up your comfort zone, because your brain is so hardwired into these patterns, it's keeping you in these patterns of the old paradigm as well

00:52:28Mm-hmm

00:52:29And you, your cellular body holds onto a lot of the memories of the patterns you did 10 years ago, they're no longer serving your evolution

00:52:35Right

00:52:36So shaking that up and, um, you know, meeting new people, getting friendlier and more compassionate with strangers

00:52:43Um, meditation's important to me, definitely

00:52:47Um, I usually am about, about 20-30 minutes a day

00:52:52Sometimes longer on my, on my mushroom trip days

00:52:56I'm definitely in meditation a little longer than that

00:52:58Yeah

00:52:59Um, spend time outside

00:53:01I would say, you know, get in touch with the earth and with nature in any way you can

00:53:06Hiking's great

00:53:07Get barefoot, get dirty, get out in the dirt and roll around a little bit or put your feet on the ground

00:53:12A little bit or put your feet in some grass out in the parking lot

00:53:15I mean, anywhere you can connect with the earth and take a few moments to appreciate, um, something beautiful

00:53:23Have you heard about these new, uh, like, I think it's sand, or it might be grass, like, pads that people are actually putting under their computers to put their feet on

00:53:32Really?

00:53:33Is it really grass?

00:53:34Yeah, I think so

00:53:35I believe so

00:53:36I was talking to someone about it

00:53:37Um, it must be real grass

00:53:39It wouldn't make sense if it was fake grass

00:53:40Yeah

00:53:41And yeah, they put, you put your feet on it

00:53:43So, like, when you're working at your computer, you're, like, grounded in nature

00:53:46While you're, like, on technology

00:53:48That's awesome

00:53:49It's kind of interesting

00:53:50Yeah, when we have that Schumann resonance coming out of our mother Gaia that we are so disconnected from

00:53:55The rubber soles in our shoes are continuously cutting off that Schumann resonance

00:54:00If we leave the planet, literally, if we go up in a rocket ship to, to, whatever, do an orbit or, you know, an astronaut goes up

00:54:07Not me or you, but an astronaut goes up

00:54:09Right

00:54:10They have to have something emitting that Schumann resonance up there, or they'll get sick

00:54:14We have to have that

00:54:15So, if we're here, I mean, we're getting some of it walking around up here, but we need to reconnect with the earth

00:54:21Because she's giving us the plants, the vitamins, and the minerals, and the beautiful animals we interact with

00:54:28And that resonance that keeps us healthy

00:54:30Yeah

00:54:31And that's really part of our innate nature, and we're very disconnected from nature right now

00:54:35Yeah, that is true

00:54:36It's important to get back in touch

00:54:38Alright, Eva has been monitoring the chat room

00:54:42Please tell me that we have some good questions

00:54:45We do

00:54:46Yay

00:54:47A lot of sexy questions

00:54:49Of course

00:54:50How many guys asked, uh, Nicole to show them her tits?

00:54:54Nobody actually

00:54:55Ooh

00:54:56Oh boy

00:54:57Progress, girl

00:54:58I have a lot of questions about

00:54:59We are changing humanity

00:55:00I'm shocked

00:55:01Everyone wants to know about, like, what scenes you're shooting next

00:55:04Oh, yeah

00:55:05We kind of covered a lot of, like, here and Nicole

00:55:07There's still some stuff that hasn't been released

00:55:09Yeah, maybe, like, update them if you can, because I've really been about it

00:55:13Oh, yeah, there's some stuff

00:55:15I would say, uh, Team Skeet's got one or two

00:55:19I think coming out

00:55:21Uh, Brazzers just had one

00:55:23That Brazzibots thing

00:55:24I don't know

00:55:25That was weird

00:55:26I was like

00:55:27I'm

00:55:28I was a robot

00:55:29Okay

00:55:30Fembot

00:55:31Fembot

00:55:32Okay

00:55:33I was a bot

00:55:34It was a sex bop

00:55:35It was a sex bop

00:55:36Something

00:55:37Um, there's some more stuff coming out

00:55:39There will always be more stuff coming out, um, on a very regular basis

00:55:43On my OnlyFans

00:55:44And my Snapchat

00:55:45I'm always on there

00:55:46I'm getting there

00:55:47I'm healing and, um, I'm getting there

00:55:50I'm ready to get back into action though

00:55:52I know that my fans are ready for the same

00:55:55Yeah, that was great

00:55:56Somebody

00:55:57I'm just gonna do a few sex ones getting out of the way

00:55:59Yeah

00:56:00Somebody said, like, I guess you did only one anal scene for Trishy?

00:56:02One anal scene, yes

00:56:03And they wanted to know, like, what, like, what kind of, like, reaction did you get?

00:56:06Like, were people, like, freaking out about it?

00:56:08Were they super excited about it?

00:56:09Some people were freaking out about it

00:56:10Some people

00:56:11Yeah, so you did that one anal scene for Trishy

00:56:12I did one

00:56:13It wasn't very

00:56:14I wasn't very good at it, though, to be completely honest

00:56:17It's, um, some women just are so good at it

00:56:21Some women are

00:56:22And they really enjoy it

00:56:23Yeah

00:56:24I looked like I was in pain

00:56:26And most of the folks that have seen my work over the years know when I'm in pain

00:56:31Mm-hmm

00:56:32By my face

00:56:33They know for sure

00:56:34And I've gotten that comment a few times

00:56:36So, um, if, when I do another

00:56:39I did make a promise also to put a free one on Pornhub

00:56:42So, I'm, I'm still working on that

00:56:44I gotta, I gotta work up to that

00:56:45And I already asked, I asked Tommy Pistol if he was with me

00:56:48Aww

00:56:49So, I'm gonna, he's still gonna

00:56:50I love Tommy

00:56:51I know

00:56:52He's fantastic

00:56:53He's great

00:56:54So, that's gonna happen

00:56:55Um, I just, I gotta heal up from this situation

00:56:57Yeah

00:56:58I wanna get

00:56:59You gotta be ready

00:57:00Get all the bumps out

00:57:01Get all the kinks out and everything

00:57:02Yeah

00:57:03But, um, yeah

00:57:04Um, and then somebody asked, um, in regards to 60

00:57:06You were just kinda talking about, like, health and fitness

00:57:08Um, someone wanted your tips on, um

00:57:11For people that are finding it difficult to, like, stay, like, uh, motivated

00:57:16And, like, keep a good diet and, and exercise

00:57:19And kinda, like, really get into the swing of it

00:57:21Like, do any tips for those people?

00:57:22Okay

00:57:23Staying motivated is tough

00:57:24Yeah

00:57:25Definitely

00:57:26I'm just gonna repeat the question in case it's not

00:57:28You're not hearing it very well through the audio

00:57:30So, someone was asking, um, if you have any tips on staying motivated

00:57:34If someone's having a hard time staying healthy, right?

00:57:36Yeah

00:57:37Okay

00:57:38Yeah

00:57:39Um, there's a lot of apps that can kind of help keep you on track

00:57:41That are really helpful

00:57:42Um, none that I can really say directly

00:57:47But, there's a lot of apps that can help

00:57:49Just check for apps

00:57:50Look around for apps

00:57:51There was one that I was using that I was using religiously for a few weeks

00:57:55And then I fell off the wagon because I'm terrible like that

00:57:58But, I actually really liked it

00:58:00It's called

00:58:01Oh, okay

00:58:02And, you can actually choose the kind of diet that you want

00:58:06And then it'll actually, like, build you a plan based on, um, you know, your height, your weight, and your age, and your gender

00:58:13That's really helpful

00:58:14Yeah, and it actually, what, what, the thing that I loved about it is it has a barcode scanner

00:58:19That, that literally works with almost anything that you buy

00:58:23So, all you have to do is scan the barcode on the item and it knows what it is

00:58:27And it automatically puts it into, you know, your meal plan

00:58:30Oh, that's really handy

00:58:31Like, so you can see exactly how many calories

00:58:32And if you're, like, getting close to going over a certain amount of carbs, whatever you're doing

00:58:36It kind of alerts you

00:58:37It also has a water drinking reminder, you know, has certain glasses of water, like, and you have to

00:58:43I like those too

00:58:44Yeah

00:58:45You can get those, uh, those big jugs with the water markers, time markers along the bottle

00:58:49Oh, those are helpful

00:58:50Because I'm so bad about drinking water, so I need something like that

00:58:53That's really helpful

00:58:54Yeah, I found several really good ones on Amazon

00:58:56I would also say, um, you know, set little goals for yourself

00:59:00Um, reasonable goals

00:59:02Yeah, I think

00:59:03Even if it's an underwhelming goal, just set something for yourself

00:59:06I think you're right

00:59:07The fault that I've noticed I've fallen into is that I set a goal too high for myself

00:59:11I'm like, okay, I'm gonna lose two pounds in a month and do this

00:59:15And I'm gonna exercise every-

00:59:16It's a mountain

00:59:17And then it just becomes overwhelming

00:59:18Yeah, you're right

00:59:19And it inhibits your, your lifestyle

00:59:20And then you feel like, well, I'm, I'm deprived of whatever I enjoy

00:59:23Or I failed

00:59:24I failed, yes

00:59:25And there's no failure in this

00:59:27This is a progressive change, no matter how long it takes you

00:59:30Mm-hmm

00:59:31Set small goals for yourself and allow yourself to have a reward for your hard work and progress

00:59:36And, you know, keep measurable, uh, little markers for your progress

00:59:39If it's a half pound

00:59:41If it's three freakin' ounces that you lose if your goal is weight loss

00:59:45Mm-hmm

00:59:46Or, um, you know, possibly buy a, uh, fit that is your goal weight

00:59:51Mm-hmm

00:59:52And have that hanging somewhere where you can see it every day

00:59:55Mm-hmm

00:59:56And that could be, you know, I really wanna wear this

00:59:57Mm-hmm

00:59:58Or I wanna fit into this and be this size and I'll be most confident in this size

01:00:02But no matter what your, your, what physical form you take

01:00:07I think the most important part is to not focus on what is

01:00:11Focus on what you wish for

01:00:13Mm-hmm

01:00:14So don't, don't say I can't because I'm this weight or this shape

01:00:17Or I have this different ability

01:00:20Focus on what is

01:00:21Uh, focus on, uh, what you want and not what is

01:00:24Mm-hmm

01:00:25Don't, you know, you don't say I'm this, you know, I'm 20 pounds too heavy

01:00:31Say to yourself, literally, I'm this, focus on that

01:00:34Focus on what you'll be happiest on

01:00:36But set yourself goals and go at your own

01:00:38And don't ever, uh, you know, get hard on yourself for not living up to your own

01:00:44Mm-hmm

01:00:45Because you're not gonna

01:00:46Or

01:00:47Just, you know, you learn as you go

01:00:51We all

01:00:52I've never

01:00:53But we're all as we go

01:00:54And you can't get too hard on yourself

01:00:56Because we're all gonna be our worst critic no matter what

01:00:58Yeah

01:00:59But being gentle and loving with yourself as you progress

01:01:01That's, that's how you're gonna actually meet those goals you set for yourself

01:01:05Yeah, I think one of the hardest things to do is to be gentle with yourself

01:01:08Yes

01:01:09I think we have a tendency to be really hard on ourselves

01:01:11I know I do

01:01:12I do too

01:01:13That is, um, that is one of the biggest, um, stumbling blocks for me

01:01:17We're not taught to love ourselves

01:01:19We certainly are not

01:01:20Yeah

01:01:21In our preschool

01:01:22Yeah

01:01:23We're not taught to love ourselves

01:01:24Right

01:01:25We're having to unlearn that paradigm for sure

01:01:28You know, it's funny, I remember

01:01:29I don't know what just made me think of this

01:01:31But I remember being in high school

01:01:32I don't know if you had this

01:01:33But do you have like a yearbook

01:01:35They would do like

01:01:37Oh, absolutely

01:01:39Best dressed

01:01:40Most popular

01:01:42It was nothing

01:01:43To succeed

01:01:44Yes

01:01:45And I remember my history teacher

01:01:48Thinking about that

01:01:49And saying how incredibly unhealthy that was for teenagers

01:01:52And what a bad practice it was

01:01:54They were right

01:01:55And I remember thinking at the time like

01:01:56Ah, that old stickler

01:01:57He's so boring

01:01:58And what a stupid guy

01:01:59But now I'm like

01:02:00That is

01:02:02Fuck

01:02:03Like, why do we do that?

01:02:04You know

01:02:07Extremely impressionable

01:02:09Yeah

01:02:10We've got to measure ourselves

01:02:11Based on the successes and failures of others

01:02:13Right

01:02:14There's nothing

01:02:15Right

01:02:16But they're putting it on the yearbook

01:02:18And then you take the yearbook home

01:02:19And then you read it over summer

01:02:21And then you have it for the rest of your life

01:02:23Senior year

01:02:24And you know, how many people do you

01:02:25Hated every

01:02:27Yeah

01:02:28And now I'm

01:02:29I'm the happiest person

01:02:30In the world

01:02:31I did a lot of drugs and drinking in high school

01:02:33I didn't, but I was self-loathing

01:02:35Yeah

01:02:36No, I was definitely never

01:02:37Never good enough

01:02:38You know

01:02:39I thought I was

01:02:40I mean, I was like

01:02:4220 pounds lighter

01:02:4325 pounds lighter than I am now

01:02:45And I'm like

01:02:46What was I thinking?

01:02:47Like, how did

01:02:48Fuck me?

01:02:50It's amazing

01:02:51But that at the time

01:02:52Was your reality

01:02:53Right

01:02:54That was what you felt

01:02:55About yourself every day

01:02:56Yeah, and I was not cool

01:02:58And it's just so funny

01:02:59Cause you know, obviously with Facebook

01:03:00We're able to connect

01:03:01You know, with people

01:03:02That we went to school with

01:03:03And just seeing all the people

01:03:04That were the most popular

01:03:05You know, where they are now in life

01:03:07Yeah

01:03:08It was totally flip flopped

01:03:09Our priorities were

01:03:10Yeah, completely skewed

01:03:11Yeah

01:03:12And now we're all just doing

01:03:13Whatever we're doing

01:03:14Yeah

01:03:15We may not be popular or successful

01:03:16We might not have the best smile

01:03:17Yeah

01:03:18You know, and a lot of the people

01:03:20I went to high school with are dead

01:03:21So I'm happy to be here

01:03:24Doing whatever I'm doing

01:03:25Yeah, yeah, yeah

01:03:26And you know, some people are

01:03:27Ugh, fucking porn star, huh?

01:03:28I'm like, yeah, I sure am

01:03:29And I'm doing great

01:03:30Like, I'm happy doing porn

01:03:32It's awesome

01:03:33I'm completely free of my physicality

01:03:36Like, I don't really

01:03:37I get up and I'm a mess

01:03:38Yeah

01:03:39In the morning

01:03:40But I'm healthy

01:03:41My body works well

01:03:42So that's

01:03:43I'm like, alright

01:03:44I got that going on

01:03:45That's cool

01:03:46Yeah, that's important

01:03:47Yeah

01:03:48Anything else?

01:03:49Okay, so somebody has this

01:03:50Another kind of

01:03:51I think it's kind of like a spiritual

01:03:53Maybe more sci-fi question

01:03:55Oh yeah

01:03:56But someone under JK

01:03:58Has asked you

01:03:59And I'm into this

01:04:00Do you think we're alone in this universe?

01:04:03Or are we just many of

01:04:05Or are we just one of many species?

01:04:07Oh my goodness

01:04:08Okay, somebody wants to know

01:04:09If we're alone in the universe

01:04:10I have a feeling

01:04:11That we just opened

01:04:12A fucking Pandora's box

01:04:13This is the biggest can of worms

01:04:14In the entire world

01:04:15Yeah, I was like, uh oh

01:04:16Tell us about

01:04:17Oh my goodness

01:04:18The human bipedal form is universal

01:04:21There are many of

01:04:22There are many humans on most planets

01:04:24There are far more planets

01:04:25In our specific galaxy

01:04:27Or in our solar system

01:04:29Than we're being informed of

01:04:30The bipedal form is universal

01:04:33We're a seed

01:04:36We're a slave species to this planet

01:04:39At the time anyway

01:04:40But we're not to be messed with

01:04:44We're kind of little experiment

01:04:45Like if you imagine the ants

01:04:47In a little ant thing

01:04:49Ant farm

01:04:50Whatever, the ant farm

01:04:51Here we go

01:04:52And you drop a sucker in there

01:04:53See what happens

01:04:54Or you drop

01:04:55A couple drops of water in there

01:04:56And then whoever dropped that water in there

01:04:58Is going, all right

01:04:59Look what they're doing

01:05:00Yeah

01:05:01Oh, they're all freaking out

01:05:02Or they're scrambling

01:05:03Or they're fighting each other

01:05:04Oh my god, there's a queen

01:05:05And a king

01:05:06And a this

01:05:07And there's all this stuff going on

01:05:08In a hierarchy

01:05:09So we're being closely monitored

01:05:13But we're not being monitored

01:05:15So you'll notice

01:05:16And if you take interest in this

01:05:18You'll see a lot of people

01:05:19A lot more channelers lately

01:05:21I for one have been working on practicing that myself

01:05:26It's really fun

01:05:27Because there is

01:05:28Because there is

01:05:29It's actually illegal to attempt to connect with a non-terrestrial species

01:05:33Which if they don't exist

01:05:35Why is it illegal?

01:05:36This is true

01:05:37Why?

01:05:38Why would it be illegal?

01:05:39I don't know

01:05:40So

01:05:41There's a proof of the pudding right there

01:05:43I mean it's illegal to jaywalk

01:05:46People are doing it

01:05:48Every day

01:05:49Out there, outside

01:05:50Right outside the building

01:05:51You're jaywalking

01:05:52Yeah

01:05:53So

01:05:54No

01:05:55We're not alone

01:05:56Absolutely not

01:05:57We've been here as a species a very, very long time

01:06:01Many, many far advanced civilizations have come before us

01:06:07And we're right at the cusp of the Satya Yuga

01:06:11We're coming into a golden age of consciousness

01:06:13And we need to tap into that love, that compassion, that ultimate forgiveness

01:06:18So that we can further advance the evolution of the species

01:06:21But no, we're being closely monitored for sure

01:06:24Absolutely

01:06:25We're not supposed to see and connect

01:06:28But there's a grid in place so that we can't see what's coming and going out of our little tightly knit bubble

01:06:34Mm-hmm

01:06:35That we have

01:06:36But we're a very unique planet

01:06:37Mm-hmm

01:06:38It's alive

01:06:39It's very earth

01:06:40It's very life-giving from the inside out

01:06:43Mm-hmm

01:06:44It's a very unique sphere that we're on

01:06:48And there's all this debate about our, aren't we?

01:06:51We

01:06:52Why

01:06:53It's out there

01:06:54We have the proof

01:06:55We have the sightings

01:06:56We have channelers

01:06:57We have all this incredible information

01:06:59You know, all these leaked documents coming through

01:07:03I follow very closely the work of, um, uh, gosh, uh, shoot, I have a brain fart right now

01:07:12Mm-hmm

01:07:13So, uh, David Wilcock

01:07:14Okay

01:07:15Fantastic

01:07:16Awesome

01:07:17Um, Emory Smith, fantastic

01:07:20Uh, Gaia.com is like one of those sites, it's like Netflix for spirituality and self-expansion

01:07:25I feel like you told me about this before

01:07:26Oh my gosh, let me tell you

01:07:28The information is in there and, and the things you learned over there

01:07:33Have me completely excited to meet our non-terrestrial family members

01:07:38Mm-hmm

01:07:39And to see and experience and communicate with other beings that just aren't allowed to mess with us right now

01:07:43Mm-hmm

01:07:44As well as inner earth species and beings that live beneath the surface in these massive, um, caverns and caves

01:07:51that live as a complete, you know, unit, completely separate cut off from the surface world

01:07:55So I'm excited over the, uh, the next few years will be really interesting

01:08:00I don't know that we'll get this openly admittent, uh, full disclosure from this elite that is keeping us from knowing that

01:08:10It's not even government really

01:08:12There's this whole elite class that really thinks that we don't need to know about it

01:08:16Mm-hmm

01:08:17Um, that we, because there's a tendency to, to, that would create mass hysteria

01:08:21And questioning of self and religion and system and order

01:08:24I was just gonna say

01:08:25I mean, you see the way social media is now

01:08:26Can you imagine if, like, aliens are real came out there?

01:08:29Oh my God

01:08:30And it would also make us understand the fact that we no longer need to consume coal and oil

01:08:36And that would be a detriment to the system that is puppeteering our entire collective, um, being

01:08:42Mm-hmm

01:08:43So once we don't have to depend on that anymore, then we go, well, where the hell's good energy at, you know?

01:08:48Yeah

01:08:49We have free energy all over the place

01:08:51Um, so

01:08:52I have so many questions, and everyone's losing their minds in there

01:08:55Oh my goodness

01:08:56Oh, I can imagine

01:08:57We have a few more questions, though

01:08:58Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

01:08:59I really wanna get around to everybody

01:09:01Um, somebody says they were very glad your surgery went well

01:09:05Thank you

01:09:06I had a feeling that was Chris Green

01:09:07Thank you, Chris

01:09:08I don't know if you can't hear that

01:09:10Um, this is kinda just like a back down to the boring ground question

01:09:16But, um, do you prefer the word MILF or Cougar, or neither?

01:09:21Do you prefer the word MILF, Cougar, or neither?

01:09:24I don't have a preference

01:09:25Like, does it...

01:09:26I think that whatever positive light someone wants to see me in, then great

01:09:30Yeah

01:09:31I'm 32 next month, um, so if I'm a mom to you, then great

01:09:37Sign up for my OnlyFans, you know?

01:09:39However you wanna perceive me

01:09:41Yeah

01:09:42If that's your sexual fantasy

01:09:43If you still see me as, you know, the small, boob, innocent teen

01:09:47You know, the teen stuff that I did when I got in when I was 23, but

01:09:51Um, or 22

01:09:53But, uh, no, however you wish to perceive me

01:09:56If it's in a positive light, then go whatever category you wanna put me in

01:10:00Cool

01:10:01I like that answer

01:10:02Thanks

01:10:03This, uh, kind of last one

01:10:04It's a simple one

01:10:05But, um, I don't know, maybe people don't know

01:10:06Um, how did you come up with your porn name?

01:10:08And that's from someone named Alicia

01:10:10Oh

01:10:11How did you come up with your porn name?

01:10:12Well, I went with Nicole, which is my legal middle name

01:10:14I know

01:10:15And I'm like, well, gosh, I don't know

01:10:16The pressure's on

01:10:17And, uh, so, what did you suggest?

01:10:21Favorite actress?

01:10:22Yeah, so I said, I said, maybe go with your, like, first name and, like, middle name

01:10:28Yeah

01:10:29You know, cause a lot of people, it's not your first name

01:10:31And then I was like, yeah, maybe favorite actress, somebody whose last name you like

01:10:34And you're like, like, like, Jennifer Aniston

01:10:36Jennifer Aniston

01:10:37And I was like, Nicole Aniston, that sounds good

01:10:38Yeah, and it fit

01:10:39And it, I didn't wanna go with any, I, that just, it wasn't particular to me

01:10:42I didn't wanna go with something like Fox or Nicole

01:10:46And, um, I prefer, I like Nicole

01:10:49I like Nicole too

01:10:50It's a, it's a warrior name, you shout and you're going to battle

01:10:53Nicole

01:10:55I love that

01:10:57So I, I was like, oh, that works

01:10:59And it's my, my legal middle name

01:11:00So, when I, whenever I was in trouble

01:11:02My mom, Ashley Nicole

01:11:03And I was at full attention

01:11:04Yeah

01:11:05So that really helped me to kind of build the bridge

01:11:07And, um, now I go by both

01:11:09So, Nicole

01:11:11I like it too

01:11:12Thanks

01:11:14Yeah, sure, one more

01:11:15We'll do one more and then we'll wrap it up

01:11:16Okay, this is kinda cool

01:11:17I like, I like these ones

01:11:18Um, if you could work with somebody past or present, who would it be?

01:11:21If you could work with somebody past or present, who would it be?

01:11:24Oh boy

01:11:25Um, do they have to be a porn star?

01:11:27I think, I think it's, it's not specific

01:11:29So I feel like you can do whatever you want

01:11:30Open-ended questions

01:11:32Um

01:11:33Gosh, I, I, I am just so, um, pleased that, um, each, each person I've encountered and experienced has been, uh, a little pebble added to my little temple construction

01:11:51And, um, I don't regret a day

01:11:54And I, and I think that every particular encounter with each, um, I think that they're probably referring to adult

01:12:01Mm-hmm

01:12:02Every adult encounter that I've had with each star every single day, no matter the situation, um, good, better, and different

01:12:09Was constructive

01:12:10Mm-hmm

01:12:11And I think that, um, you know, there's a lot of those that I'll, I'll probably work with in the future that I'll be like, that was a great day

01:12:19And that was a great day

01:12:21And that was a great day

01:12:22To do with the right partner

01:12:24Yes, yeah, and I've learned, and even on my bad days, I've learned, you know, well, I don't want to do that again

01:12:29Yeah, that, that's, that's, that's, no, that's not gonna happen

01:12:32But whatever it was, it was super constructive

01:12:34Right

01:12:35And I'm like, okay, I learned something about that

01:12:37That, you know, you have to experience something you don't want to learn you don't want it

01:12:41Right, this is true

01:12:42So, yeah, it's all been really, um, perfect as it is

01:12:47So, I'm, I'm happy to be able to say, whatever the fans want, and they suggest to the companies, for the most part, has kind of played out

01:12:54Mm-hmm

01:12:55So, getting to provide a lot of people with what they really fantasize about

01:12:58Right

01:12:59And that, that fulfills me a lot, too

01:13:01Yeah

01:13:02It's not really my choosing, it's kind of been the fans choosing how that's gone

01:13:05And that's, they've made some great things

01:13:07Yeah

01:13:08Yeah

01:13:09That's great, it's good to hear

01:13:10Yeah

01:13:11Um, well, Nicole, thank you so much for coming on

01:13:13Thank you for having me

01:13:14It's been such a pleasure to see you always

01:13:16It's great to see you, too

01:13:17You always have such a, like

01:13:18You're such a beautiful soul, and you have so much light around you

01:13:20It's always

01:13:21Thank you

01:13:22It's always an honor to be in your presence

01:13:23I'm very glad to be here

01:13:26Now

01:13:27And thank you so much for the tacos

01:13:29I literally am going to eat the tacos as soon as we finish this

01:13:33I miss them already

01:13:35Well, I did leave some, but you might fight me for them

01:13:38I might

01:13:40You actually tell people where, does Sugar Taco have a website that people can go visit it at?

01:13:45They do

01:13:46Give me one quick second

01:13:47All this glass and stuff

01:13:48They, uh, actually just relaunched the website

01:13:52I believe if I heard Jade correctly today

01:13:55We'll be getting our, um, we'll be officially serving up some, uh, liquor after Tuesday, next week

01:14:04Sugar Taco

01:14:05If they don't already know

01:14:06Social media, Instagram, at real Nicole Aniston

01:14:08Um, Twitter, at xnicoleanistonx

01:14:10Um, I am, I only am on those two

01:14:14I've had a lot of scammers lately

01:14:16Trying to really get people's attention

01:14:17Um, also I'll be at Mosaic

01:14:19September 12th and 13th

01:14:21The, um, Mosaic event

01:14:23Which is the Animal Rights March

01:14:25And I'll be on the guest panel speakers

01:14:27So we'll be discussing a lot about, um, animal and human rights, sustainability

01:14:32And, um, a little more of a conscious, compassionate way of living

01:14:36Fantastic

01:14:37Is that, that in LA?

01:14:38It's LA based

01:14:39Okay

01:14:40The Mosaic event is from the 12th to the 15th in LA

01:14:42Um, and I'll be there the 12th and 13th

01:14:44Okay

01:14:45Super excited to meet some new people out there

01:14:46Will you, I assume you'll probably link to all of the information on your social media

01:14:51Yes

01:14:52So people can find out about it

01:14:53I'll be posting quite a bit until, until then

01:14:55Okay, fantastic

01:14:56All right

01:14:57And you guys can follow me at Holly Randall on Twitter and on Instagram

01:15:01Also, don't forget if you love this podcast

01:15:03Please support me through my Patreon

01:15:05Patreon.com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered

01:15:08Thank you all for joining us here today

01:15:11Thank you again, Nicole, for coming

01:15:13Thank you

01:15:14Um, really, uh, eye-opening, thought-provoking stuff

01:15:17So

01:15:18I'm so glad

01:15:19Thank you

01:15:20Thank you for having me

01:15:21All right guys, we'll see you, uh, next week

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