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00:00I'm Norma Dowling, and you're watching Comedy Central,
00:02or it's just on in the background while you eat
00:04and then I'm fed it.
00:09Get ready for Versus!
00:12It's a team that says,
00:14why settle for a handshake
00:15when you can personally Pat Buchanan?
00:18Versus!
00:20The team that loves the dead
00:22but draws the line in necrophilia.
00:25That's right, it's young Republicans
00:26versus deadheads on Versus!
00:31And now a man who needles more Americans
00:33than Dr. Kevorkian, Greg Roofs!
00:49Hola, que tal?
00:51Welcome to Versus, ladies and gentlemen,
00:53the show that brings together two rival teams
00:56and pits them against one another
00:58or another, if you wish to pronounce it correctly.
01:00I don't.
01:01Here on the field of mortal intellectual combat,
01:05where the Teletubbies live,
01:08tonight we have two total opposite teams.
01:12It's fascists versus freaks, ladies and gentlemen.
01:15We've met the teams, now let's cheat the players.
01:22Joe!
01:23Hey, first there's Erin.
01:25She has more blue blazers than a Chevy dealership.
01:30Let's meet Romney.
01:32She's such a brute,
01:33she'll be monitoring today's show for bad language.
01:37Hey, Romney, you can kiss my ass now.
01:39And there's John.
01:42He devoted his senior year in college to Bush.
01:45Then he got into politics.
01:48There they are, the young Republicans!
01:53Say hello to Richard.
01:55At concerts, he likes to break out the hacky
01:58and let his friends kick his sack.
01:59Next, say hello to Christopher.
02:04He has no idea where he is right now.
02:07None.
02:09Finally, let's meet Kevin.
02:11He's originally from Johannesburg, South Africa
02:13and occasionally returns there during flashbacks.
02:17And there they are, the Deadheads!
02:20Oh, boy!
02:22Hey, Greg!
02:24Greg, where did you get that paisley suit?
02:26Out of my macrame van, dude.
02:29He's groovy!
02:30All right, let's let the games begin.
02:34Well, first of all, Erin, let me ask you,
02:37do you ever listen to the Grateful Dead?
02:38I've never heard a Grateful Dead song.
02:40Never heard a Grateful Dead song.
02:42All right.
02:42And, Richard, have you ever voted?
02:45I vote all the time.
02:46Okay.
02:46What party do you belong to, man?
02:47Anything but Republican, usually.
02:49Okay.
02:50All right.
02:54Fair enough.
02:55We're going to start things off
02:57with some general knowledge questions.
02:58Everyone has a chance to ring in.
03:00And every correct answer is worth over a trillion dollars.
03:04If you get it wrong, you don't lose any points.
03:06But the other team has a chance to confer
03:08and steal the Condrullias.
03:10All eyes gaze in breathless wonder
03:13at the majesty of the Versus board,
03:15ladies and gentlemen.
03:16For here is our first subject,
03:18which is celebrities.
03:20And the category is M.
03:23When valets die, do they go to Park City?
03:27And bitch, Cassidy,
03:29because you're Kathie Lee's kid.
03:32Dead heads, you won the coin toss.
03:35No, really, you did.
03:36And you picked the first category.
03:39Richard, it's down to you, dude.
03:41Bitch, Cassidy,
03:43because you're Kathie Lee's kid, please.
03:44All right.
03:46More than just a spokesperson,
03:48Kathie Lee Gifford belts out the jingle
03:50for what cruise line?
03:52John?
03:53Carnival.
03:54Carnival is right.
03:56And already the hatred and animosity
04:04welling over, ladies and gentlemen,
04:06which is what America's all about.
04:08Here we go.
04:09Here's the next question.
04:11What annual film festival in Park City, Utah
04:14was created by Robert Redford?
04:17Richard.
04:18Sundance Festival.
04:18Is correct.
04:26You don't expect a spinning dance that early.
04:30Let's rage on to our next subject,
04:32which is artists.
04:35And the category is M.
04:36I love the museum so much,
04:38I can't wait to go again.
04:39And when painters were well hung.
04:49Richard, you're tending to prevail.
04:51You're wearing he-she beads
04:52I haven't seen since 1976.
04:55Your shout, matey.
04:57I loved the museum so much,
04:58I can't wait to go again.
05:00Stan, two contestants.
05:02French painter Paul Gauguin
05:03left his family and friends
05:05to live and paint
05:06on what French Polynesian island?
05:09Kevin.
05:09That would be Tahiti, Greg.
05:10It is correct, Kevin.
05:18And there's no extra points
05:19for addressing me by name,
05:21but it does win me over.
05:22Okay.
05:24Next question.
05:24What 17th century Dutch master
05:27painted the night watch
05:28and over 100 self-portraits?
05:31Jan.
05:32Rembrandt.
05:33Is correct.
05:34Is correct.
05:34Yes.
05:38Yeah.
05:39Boo, of course.
05:40He knew an answer.
05:42Boo.
05:43Let's go to our next subject,
05:45which is Crime Fighters.
05:47And the categories are
05:48How Adam West Was Won
05:50and Scooby-Dooby-Doo Me
05:52in the Mystery Van.
05:58John, you have a neatly trimmed beard.
06:00Will you choose?
06:01Oh, Scooby-Dooby-Doo Me
06:03in the Mystery Van.
06:04Here we go.
06:05Unlike the beautiful Daffy,
06:07what orange-shirted Scooby-Doo character
06:09is short, frumpy,
06:10and wears glasses?
06:12Richard.
06:12Belma.
06:13Is correct.
06:14I do.
06:19Well, you guys are slightly behind.
06:21Romney, how can you be losing
06:22to the Deadheads
06:23at this early juncture of the game?
06:24It's rather embarrassing, yes.
06:28Well, soak up that embarrassment
06:30because I know people at home are.
06:32Yeah.
06:34Okay, here's the next question.
06:36On the TV show Batman,
06:38Adam West played the title role
06:40Superhero as well as what
06:42mild-mannered millionaire?
06:44John.
06:45Bruce Wayne.
06:46Bruce Wayne is correct.
06:48We're there.
06:49We're there.
06:53Moving out of the Batcave
06:54and on to our next subject,
06:56which is war.
06:57Huh.
06:57What is it good for?
06:59And the categories B,
07:01How to Win Friends
07:02and Influenza People.
07:06And all that talk about soldiers
07:08made Enola gay.
07:10John, you seem to know something.
07:15Why don't you choose?
07:16How to Win Friends
07:18and Influenza People.
07:19All righty.
07:21During what war did Influenza
07:22kill over 20 million people
07:24worldwide,
07:25including a half million Americans?
07:28A little history, kids.
07:29Kevin.
07:30I'm going to say World War I.
07:31And you are absolutely correct,
07:33my friend.
07:34Deadheads, yeah.
07:47Educated guests, huh, dude?
07:49All right.
07:50Well-educated guests there, Greg.
07:52Did you know it?
07:53I knew it as well.
07:54Oh, you knew it as well?
07:55Yes, I certainly did.
07:56Pumped up with pro...
07:58Huh?
07:58And they certainly didn't.
07:59I'm sure about that.
08:00Did you know it?
08:01Oh, no.
08:02Okay.
08:02Your blank expressions tell me no.
08:05Did we know what, they say?
08:06All right.
08:07Here we go.
08:08After the Enola gay dropped
08:09the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima,
08:11what Japanese city was destroyed
08:13by the second atomic bomb?
08:16Kevin.
08:16Nagasaki.
08:17Is true.
08:19Raising for it at the end.
08:22Well, that concludes round one.
08:23And at the end,
08:24Deadheads with 500,
08:26Republicans with 300.
08:28But stick around,
08:30because we're going to dance
08:31when we get back.
08:39Welcome back to Versus.
08:57I'm General George S. Patton.
08:59After the General Knowledge round,
09:01the Deadheads are rockin'.
09:03Do not bother knockin'.
09:05Republicans just slightly behind by 200.
09:08John, I couldn't help but notice
09:09that the Deadhead answered
09:11both of the war questions
09:12and that you answered
09:14the millionaire recluse question.
09:18What are they going to say
09:19when you go to the meeting, man,
09:20and you didn't get the war ones?
09:22Well, these guys had a lot more time
09:23to study the war
09:24since they weren't in any of them.
09:25Oh, I see.
09:30Here are five questions
09:32written for each team.
09:33If you answer a question
09:34in your category,
09:35it's worth $200.
09:36If you answer a question
09:37from the other team's category,
09:39$400.
09:40A wrong answer will cost you $200.
09:43This is a timed round.
09:45You may wish to employ Stradgedy.
09:47Since the young Republicans
09:48are trailing,
09:49you may pick from your side
09:50of the board,
09:50or you may snooch a question
09:52from the Deadhead's side.
09:54Your choices are
09:55it's just a jump to the left,
09:57then a goose step to the right,
09:59and in the Deadhead's column,
10:01shroom with a view.
10:04John, what's it going to be?
10:06We'll go.
10:07It's just a jump to the left
10:08and then a goose step to the right.
10:10Here we go.
10:11Introduced in 1995,
10:14what title was given
10:15to the 10-point mandate
10:16Republicans claimed
10:17was inspired by American voters?
10:20John.
10:21Contract with America.
10:22Is precisely correct.
10:23That worked out pretty well
10:29for Newt, didn't it?
10:30So, and the new column is
10:32Wasted Days and Reagan Nights.
10:35John, you still have the ball.
10:38We'll stick with Wasted Days
10:40and Reagan Nights.
10:41All righty.
10:42What 80s sitcom
10:43revolved around two ex-hippie parents
10:45raising a young Republican son
10:47named Alex Keaton?
10:49Kevin.
10:50Family tie.
10:50Is right.
10:51Oh!
10:51Deadhead's taking it back.
10:58New category for the young reps,
11:00which is the few, the proud,
11:02the black conservatives.
11:04Kevin, it's your shout.
11:06We'll go with shroom with a view, dude.
11:07Okay, dude.
11:08Here we go.
11:10Often passed around at dead concerts,
11:13magic mushrooms contains what?
11:15Hallucinogenic substance.
11:17John.
11:17LSD?
11:18No, that is incorrect.
11:21It is a hallucinogenic substance,
11:25however, it's not the one
11:26contained in magic mushrooms.
11:27Yes.
11:28Psilocybin.
11:28Is exactly correct.
11:30Yeah!
11:30Yeah!
11:35Oh my God.
11:37You took a stab,
11:38but you haven't been there,
11:40have you?
11:40All right.
11:41Deadhead's new category,
11:43I come in a cone so you can lick me.
11:48Richard, I think it was you.
11:49It's your choice.
11:50You're going to poach,
11:51you're going to stay home.
11:51I'll stay home.
11:52Come in a cone so you can lick me.
11:53Here we go.
11:54What Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor
11:56is a tribute to the Grateful Dead's lead singer?
12:00Richard.
12:00Cherry Garcia.
12:01Cherry Garcia.
12:02Romney, I saw you pounding on that one.
12:12We were ready for that one, man.
12:13Just late, but you knew it.
12:14Okay, Deadhead's new category,
12:16why Jerry Garcia's liver
12:17is grateful that he's dead.
12:20There are two minutes left in the round.
12:22Who got Cherry Garcia?
12:23Was that you, Richard?
12:24Richard, your choice.
12:25I did.
12:25Stay with the Deadheads.
12:25Stay with the Deadheads.
12:26Whirling on.
12:28What classic Dead tune
12:29contained the lyric,
12:30living on reds,
12:31vitamin C,
12:32and cocaine?
12:34Richard.
12:34Truck in.
12:35All her friends can say
12:37this ain't a shame.
12:42Aaron, I know you weren't in on that one.
12:44Deadheads, new category,
12:45fit to be tie-dyed.
12:47What's it going to be, Richard?
12:47Fit to be tie-dyed.
12:48Here we go.
12:49At the Barcelona Games of 1992,
12:52what country's Olympic basketball team
12:55sported uniforms
12:56designed by the Grateful Dead?
12:59John.
13:00Croatia.
13:00No, it's not Croatia.
13:03Go ahead.
13:04Lithuania.
13:04Lithuania.
13:05Lithuania.
13:12New category for the Deadheads,
13:14which is,
13:14I love Fisherman's Wharf,
13:17but I hate Ashbury.
13:19That magical noise indicates
13:21I'm tripping my ass off.
13:23And there is one minute left.
13:28Christopher, what's it going to be?
13:29We'll take,
13:30I love Fisherman's Wharf,
13:31but I hate Ashbury.
13:32Here we go.
13:32Last question in your category.
13:34Which Dead drummer left the band in 1971,
13:37only to return in 1975?
13:39Richard.
13:40Mickey Hart.
13:40Is right.
13:41Yeah!
13:42That's all for you.
13:44They're all Young Republican questions now.
13:47Here we go.
13:47What African-American Republican candidate
13:50for president in 1996
13:52was named the president
13:53of the Ronald Reagan Alumni Association?
13:57Richard.
13:58Colin Powell?
13:59No, not Colin Powell.
14:01He's crazier than Colin Powell.
14:03Nobody?
14:04Anybody?
14:05You can confirm.
14:07Nothing?
14:07Okay.
14:08Alan Keyes.
14:09Alan Keyes.
14:10Talk show host.
14:12Bonne Ville.
14:12Not much time left.
14:13New category.
14:14Bible-thumping Christians
14:15who wear leather underwear.
14:17Here we go.
14:18In 1997,
14:19what Family Values icon
14:21apologized to his Christian fans
14:23for his heavy metal
14:24leather-clad performance
14:25at the American Music Awards?
14:27Richard.
14:28Pat Boone.
14:28Yes.
14:31That is all the time
14:34we have in that round.
14:36Deadheads manhandling their category.
14:3920, 100.
14:41Republicans, 100.
14:43When we come back,
14:44I don't know what's going to happen
14:46because I'm freaking.
15:09Welcome back.
15:10My name's Pigpen.
15:11It all comes down to this.
15:13The deadheads lead the young Republicans
15:15by a country mile,
15:18ladies and gentlemen.
15:19But there's so much time
15:21in the last round
15:22that anything can happen, man.
15:24Winners keep their cash.
15:26The losers leave here with nothing.
15:28Except this.
15:29What is it, Joe?
15:30Well, each loser will receive
15:32a Daewoo videocassette recorder
15:34from Daewoo,
15:35the latest technology in VCRs
15:37with on-screen display,
15:39digital tracking,
15:40and digital shuttle.
15:41It's the one to watch, Daewoo.
15:43Hey, Craig,
15:44I got one for you to watch.
15:45Yeah, what is it?
15:45Yeah, these girls are having
15:46a slumber party
15:47and this pizza delivery boy.
15:49Oh, I've seen that one.
15:50I love the money shot.
15:51All right.
15:51Okay.
15:54Each of you will get three questions
15:56and that's it.
15:58Ring in as soon as you think
15:59you know what the answer is.
16:01If you get it right,
16:01you win $250.
16:03If you get it wrong,
16:04we deduct $250 from your total.
16:06All of the questions in this round
16:09may be answered
16:09by one of these three choices.
16:12Golden Gate,
16:13that would be the bridge.
16:15Watergate,
16:15the scandal
16:16and the apartment complex.
16:18And Heaven's Gate,
16:19that would be the cult.
16:20Everything clear?
16:21I want to make sure we're clear.
16:23Okay.
16:24Let's rock
16:25and let's play versus.
16:27Eleven men were killed
16:28during its construction.
16:30Republican.
16:31Golden Gate.
16:31Correct.
16:32Site of the former
16:33military installation.
16:37Site.
16:38Ooh, Republican.
16:39Heaven's Gate.
16:40Incorrect.
16:41Deadhead.
16:43Golden Gate.
16:44Beautiful.
16:44That's it.
16:45When police broke in,
16:46they found all of its members dead.
16:48Republican.
16:49Heaven's Gate.
16:49Is correct.
16:50That's how it works.
16:51Moving on.
16:54That's how it works.
16:55Romney.
16:56Christopher.
16:58Christopher.
16:58Christopher.
17:01Your hat is freaking me out.
17:03Here we go.
17:04Monica Lewinsky once called it home.
17:08She lived there,
17:09in other words.
17:11That's it.
17:12Nobody answers that one.
17:13Watergate.
17:14It's just a hop,
17:15skip,
17:15and a jump
17:15from the bay
17:16called Chesapeake.
17:17Republican.
17:19Golden Gate.
17:20No.
17:20Incorrect.
17:21Watergate.
17:22Watergate.
17:23Largest of its kind
17:24in the United States
17:25as far as mass suicides go.
17:27Republican.
17:28Heaven's Gate.
17:29Is correct.
17:29That's how it works.
17:30Moving on.
17:31Okay, Aaron, Kevin.
17:36Aaron, Kevin.
17:38There's longer than mine.
17:39Yeah, there you are.
17:40Almost half the men
17:41got castrated
17:42like its leader,
17:43Doe.
17:44Republican.
17:45Heaven's Gate.
17:45Is correct.
17:46It shares its name
17:47with a racetrack.
17:49Republican.
17:50Golden Gate.
17:51Is correct.
17:51Its secrets were revealed
17:52by the mysterious
17:53Deep Throat.
17:54Republican.
17:55Watergate.
17:55Watergate.
17:56Smoking on the last round.
17:58But the dead eggs
18:00are in the right place.
18:04The dead eggs
18:04are not a Republican.
18:06The dead eggs are in the right place.
18:08Come on down, you guys.
18:10But don't go anywhere
18:11because when we come back
18:13we're going to tune up
18:15for 45 minutes.
18:16Stay where you are.
18:22Next time on Comedy Central's
18:29new game show, Versus.
18:31It's goth chicks
18:33versus beauty queens
18:34in a cerebral combat
18:36that pits medieval times
18:37against drowning time.
18:39Watch Versus
18:40Monday at 5
18:41only on Comedy Central.
18:50Yeah, that's right.
18:52The dead heads
18:53are the winners,
18:53ladies and gentlemen.
18:55You've won a total
18:56of $2,350
18:58which is of course
18:59yours to keep.
19:00Aaron, extremely strong
19:01showing in the last round there.
19:03You didn't win
19:04but you kept the dead heads
19:05from getting money
19:06and they'd only spend it
19:09on stuff that you put
19:10in a bong.
19:11Alright, here we go.
19:12Now we're going to see
19:14if you can't win
19:14some more cash.
19:15It's time for the
19:16grand finale.
19:18I will ask you
19:18one question.
19:19If you get it right
19:20you'll win the grand.
19:21$1,000.
19:23If you get it wrong
19:23the young republicans
19:25will have a chance
19:25to swoop in
19:26and take what was
19:27rightfully yours.
19:29Here are the two subjects
19:30that you may choose from
19:32for your final question.
19:34International Grand Masters
19:35of Chess
19:36or Jerry Garcia.
19:41I believe we'll take
19:42Jerry Garcia.
19:43Well chosen.
19:47Okay, you'll have
19:48ten seconds to confer
19:50then you must give me
19:51your answer.
19:52Here is the question.
19:53Recorded in 1971
19:55what was the name
19:56of Jerry Garcia's
19:57debut solo album?
20:01You have ten seconds.
20:01Now I realize
20:04this isn't the kind
20:05of question
20:05that everyone
20:06in America is going
20:07hey I know
20:07the answer to this.
20:09I think pretty much
20:10you'd have to live
20:11in a sleeping bag
20:12to know the answer
20:12to this.
20:13Or be really rich
20:15and live in Marin.
20:15That's all the time.
20:17Fellas.
20:19I need your answer.
20:21Richard what's it
20:22going to be?
20:22Garcia.
20:23Oh dude
20:24that's wrong.
20:27Although a really
20:28good guess
20:29because it had
20:29his name in the answer.
20:31Alright young Republicans
20:32I'll read it
20:33one more time
20:34and Aaron
20:35I know you know
20:35the answer to this.
20:37Recorded in 1971
20:39what was the name
20:40of Jerry Garcia's
20:41debut solo album?
20:43Take five seconds.
20:45Very valuable ad time
20:46we could be using
20:47to sell Cartman dolls.
20:49Here we go.
20:50What's your answer?
20:51The Jerry Garcia band?
20:53Again a very
20:54astute guess.
20:55However the answer
20:56and I think we all
20:57can say it at once
20:58Hooter Roll.
21:03That is of course
21:04Sans Blowfish.
21:05Thank you very much
21:06you guys.
21:07Congratulations.
21:08That's all the time.
21:11Next time join us
21:13when William Shatner
21:14takes on the
21:15word brush
21:16ladies and gentlemen.
21:17I of course
21:18am a bull moose
21:19right down the line.
21:22Some players
21:27may also receive
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22:00from Bush Furniture.
22:02Up next,
22:08watch the Comedy Central
22:09movie Repossessed
22:10starring Leslie Nielsen,
22:11Linda Blair
22:12and Ned Beatty.
22:13Clipart
22:24actor
22:25Captain
22:26D
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22:36Furniture
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