Celebs Go Dating (2016) Season 14 Episode 1- Episode 1 - - video Dailymotion

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Celebs Go Dating (2016) Season 14 Episode 1- Episode 1 -

Transcript

00:00We are back and this year we're front-loading this mofo with a mega break to Ibiza lucky bastards

00:09I can't wait. I'm excited

00:16You have no idea what we've got in store for you

00:20Kicking off the lineup this year are these five lonesome luminaries former pop star and prom ring purveyor

00:26Kerry Katona

00:28My pussy's been petted

00:32TV star and all

00:34Documentarian Christine McGuinness. It's a really good example of how I'm used to faking it

00:40S-club sevens John Lee have you ever been found? I have not too hot for handles Louie Russell and he's reportedly

00:49Enormous love muscle. I can take two

00:51I think you're trouble. Love Island lovely Olivia Hawkins

00:55Do you come with friends? Me

00:57That's why you've been single for 29 years

01:00And if that's not enough celebs for ya joining the agency we've also got made-in-chelsea Sam Prince

01:06It seems like a bit of a dick

01:07I did? Yeah

01:08Nice

01:09Funny woman Donna Preston

01:11Sex clubs you into that? Never tried one

01:13You like getting pegged

01:14And a whole different beast

01:16It's the beast

01:18Hello

01:19Hello

01:20What's your usual type?

01:21It's more who's around and who's available

01:26With Partake hanging over them all

01:28The trust was broken

01:29I never had anyone to look after me

01:31The agents have got a job on their hands

01:33What's clear is that you're immature

01:35Expect all the drama

01:37It would've just been nice

01:38Sorry you feel like that

01:39Just take a breath

01:40And the last

01:41Cool girl

01:44As our celebs

01:45It's very west and very moist

01:47Go!

01:48Wait now are you smoking peanuts?

01:50Dating

01:51Dating

01:52It is about time

01:53Hopefully today it's deeper dick

01:59Welcome to a brand new series of Celebs Go Dating

02:02The show that gets more stars snogging than the free champagne at the soap awards

02:07As you can see we're cruising our capital city this evening

02:10And getting ready for some glam

02:12Cause we're kicking things off with a mixer

02:14With a mixer

02:17That's right we've rammed the room full of some of the country's sexiest singles

02:21Meaning our celebs can have a night so memorable

02:24They'll get their ghostwriters to put it in their autobiography

02:27And of course the whole thing is masterminded by our romance promoting receptionist

02:32Tom

02:33Who as per usual is putting in the real graft

02:35And by real graft I mean flapping about with a flower in his mouth

02:39Get a vase Tom

02:40I'm so sorry Matthew

02:41So uncomfortable

02:44With the scene set it seems that all we're missing are our celebrities

02:48And one of my custom re-nob gags

02:50So let's kill two birds with one stone

02:52And whip one out right now

02:54I'm scandalous

02:55All flavour

02:56Yes I'm a major force of nature

02:58Here they come

02:59The first celeb of the season

03:01And prepare yourselves people

03:04Because making a return to the agency

03:06It's the atomic kitten who's grown into a nuclear cougar

03:10Kerry Ka-flippin-tona

03:12Wooo

03:14Uh oh we having fun tonight

03:16I'm Kerry Ka-flippin-tona

03:17Best known for being a singer

03:19A mother

03:20A reality star

03:22And a car crash

03:23People think I'm this crazy wild partying person

03:30When in fact I'm a bit of a loner

03:32In fact I'm just really boring

03:38The whole dating thing is not something I do

03:40I just meet somebody and then we get married

03:43I was very young when I met my first husband

03:48I was 18

03:49We got divorced when I was 25

03:51I got married straight away after that

03:53Got divorced, got married again

03:55Then I met my last fiancé

03:58But I never actually got up the aisle that time

04:02I keep getting rejected

04:03That's what it is

04:04I'm never good enough

04:05You always want something else

04:07I just want to be loved

04:09I'm so desperate to be loved

04:11Oh you'll find love alright

04:13That's the celebs go dating guarantee

04:15Small print you probably won't find love

04:17And Rob Beckett's guarantees are not legally binding

04:19Terms of conditions apply

04:20Good luck though

04:21I'm back at the agency

04:22I'm dead serious about this

04:24I adore Paul and Anna

04:26We're like this, me and Anna

04:27My girl

04:28And I'm convinced

04:29Convinced

04:30It's got to work out this time

04:32Oh, someone knows how to descend a staircase

04:38Alright, calm down Tom, she's not a Dalek

04:40This is the sequel I know for

04:43My little chicken name

04:45A little birdie told me

04:48Champagne and Red Bull

04:50My kind of woman

04:51It's a heady melange

04:53The smell out of this world

04:56That's my natural odour that sweetheart

04:58I could be like one of those air fresheners young in your car

05:01Ah, the tingly fresh scent of sweated out booze and energy drink

05:05I know this isn't your first rodeo

05:07Do you want to case the joint?

05:08See you later

05:11Hiya gang

05:12Oh, you all look like young enough being my kids

05:15I'm Kerry

05:16What's your name?

05:17I'm Mark

05:18Nice to meet you Matt

05:19I've had a Mark

05:20Kerry Katona, caffeine and booze

05:22That is a potent combination

05:24Good luck men of the mixer

05:25You're gonna need it

05:29Time for another

05:30And this one is a harm dinger

05:32Ladies and gentlemen

05:33Please be upstanding

05:34For the model with a pout

05:36Who's named after a stout

05:37It's Christine McGuinness people

05:39Drink her in

05:40I'm Christine McGuinness and I am best known for my TV work

05:48I am also a mother of three and an author

05:54I've been separated from my ex-husband for around three years

05:59I met Paddy McGuinness when I was 19 and for me it's not Paddy McGuinness I'll tell you everyone sees

06:07I've got Patrick the father of my children my ex-husband

06:11I describe my sexuality as being a free spirit

06:17Mine's like a caged bird rescued from a hoarder's flat

06:20When I was a teenager I dated men and women before I was married

06:25And now I'm really really just enjoying spending time with women

06:33Oh I'll get ya

06:34If they're called Mikey, no likey

06:37I got diagnosed with autism six years ago

06:41It affects me a lot with socialising

06:43It takes me a while to feel relaxed and be open to getting to know someone

06:49The thought of going on a date scares me so much

06:52It's all brand new to me but I'm in the best place I'm excited for it

06:56Well then get your ass in there and get dating McGuinness

06:59Come to the right place and let's go, let's do it

07:03Oh Christy

07:07You're an assault on the retinas you know

07:10Such violent imagery Tom, just say she looks nice

07:13I'm so nervous

07:15Oh don't be

07:16I'm so nervous

07:17Don't be, don't be

07:18Everybody is so warm and benevolent in this room

07:21And I also think there are a few people you might like flanking the bar

07:25Really?

07:26Yes

07:27Okay

07:28Flipping heck, take your pick

07:30You're going to have a very happy baptism

07:32Hi

07:35Hold your horses, she's keen

07:37I'm totally out of the comfort zone

07:39I find big social situations like this really uncomfortable

07:43But I've got to take a deep breath and just dive in

07:48I can't be single for the rest of my life

07:50As Christine takes the plunge in her search for clunge

07:53I'm thinking we should chuck a bit more celebrity your way

07:59And woo wee, this one's wearing a V so deep I'm surprised his pubes aren't poking out

08:04It's John Lee from S Club 7

08:11I was only 16 when the band really started

08:14So to be in the recording studio up on stage in front of tens of thousands of people

08:18Travelling all over the world, selling millions of records

08:21It was an incredible experience

08:23The perfect S Club song to describe my dating life would probably be Bring the House Down

08:29Because my dating has been a complete car crash

08:32You as well?

08:33I've been single for six years and in that whole time that means I've been celibate as well

08:38Wait what, six years? No sex? This guy must be blocked up like a bad drain

08:43Umbrellas out people, he could blow at any moment

08:46Ideal man would be someone who is rough around the edges

08:49Seems like a quite nice, fun guy

08:51But it looks like they could rip your head off with their bare hands if they really wanted to

08:56It's not too sinister is it? Fucking hell

08:59Here we go, that guy's perfect, he'll pull your head off, no worries

09:01Let's get John in there quick

09:03Oh my god

09:07How long, it must be about 20 years mate

09:0920 years sweetheart, at least 20 years

09:11We haven't aged a day

09:12Ah, it's a 90s pop reunion

09:14They probably haven't seen each other since the backstage

09:17Orgy at the smash hits poll winners party night in 98

09:20Good times

09:21So sorry, how remissive

09:22Oh, thank you so much

09:23You're so brutal

09:24You're so brutal

09:25I bet he has, you look amazing

09:27Thank you darling

09:28Anyone tell your fans this?

09:29I've not even looked around you, I haven't even looked at you

09:31Give him a chance Kezza

09:32I'm trying to know

09:34Oh, I'm not that pissed

09:36I'm just eating double already

09:38Given you're drinking champagne and Red Bull

09:40I'm surprised you're not seeing through time

09:44Whilst those two go off and try and spread whatever it was they caught in the 90s

09:48It's time to mix up this mixer with another delicious spoonful of stardom

09:52And if you are wondering where the obligatory love islander is

09:55Relax, they're here and it's not one of the shit ones either

09:59It's only bloody Olivia bloody Hawkins bloody work it baby

10:03Everyone, she's here

10:07People might know me for being a little bit of a nightmare

10:13I know I can be fiery sometimes but it's only if you rub me up the wrong way

10:19So I have been single now for 29 years

10:25Not the best

10:27Wow, pretty far from the best I'd say

10:29In fact, it's possible it might be the worst

10:31I would love to find a husband

10:34I'm very romantic

10:35I'm a great cook

10:37I'm a catch

10:38My biggest ics

10:40Long fingernails

10:41Running for the train

10:43Bad shoes

10:44Bad dress sense

10:45Can't swim

10:47Men that use umbrellas

10:48Bit picky

10:49Where do you stand on podgy blonde geezers running for a train

10:52With their dirty fingernails dragging on the floor?

10:54Because I'm ready

10:55I'm turning the big 3-0 this summer

10:57So I'm definitely looking to settle down

10:59I'm looking for marriage

11:00I'm looking for babies

11:01I'm going to be intentional of my dating

11:04In this journey

11:06And have a bit of fun

11:08Hello

11:10Come to me, Ben, to me

11:12Oh

11:14How are you?

11:16How are you?

11:17Good thanks

11:18All better for seeing you

11:19I have a libational present

11:22Oh, wow

11:23He means a drink

11:24Who like bellinis still?

11:25Have a bellinis

11:26How did you know?

11:27Thank you

11:28Well, also in search of bellinis

11:30People have migrated to swearing

11:32That's Tom Ford

11:33You've got a drink

11:34Now sod off and get stuck in

11:35And over at the bar

11:36It looks like a nervy Christine

11:38Is getting stuck in herself

11:39How are you feeling?

11:40I'm running to date then

11:42And I'm still

11:43Kind of getting used to swear

11:45But

11:46I'm

11:47Are you alright?

11:48Yeah, I'm good

11:49Thank you

11:50It's Christine, is it?

11:51Yeah

11:52Nice to meet you

11:53Well, she's kind of having one, mate

11:55Erm

11:56Yeah, okay

11:57Can't do it

11:58I'll speak to you later

11:59I'll come first

12:00Yeah, yeah, step aside darling

12:01Billy big bollocks is here now

12:03Bad luck, ladies

12:04But the silver lining is

12:05We could all enjoy

12:06How this total cringe fest

12:07Plays out in a moment

12:08But first

12:09It's time to squeeze out

12:10The udders of fame

12:11And milk out another celeb

12:13Fetch my stall and bucket

12:14And let's get pumping

12:15Everyone screen next up

12:16But I'm the number one candidate

12:18And if you're aching for six foot summing of prime cut chiseled beef

12:22Then I've got a guy who's gonna wang your desired doors wide open

12:25It's Too Hot To Handle's big old slab of stud

12:28Louis Russell

12:30Release the hunk

12:34I am the man

12:35The myth

12:36The menace

12:37Louis Russell

12:38Best known

12:39For Too Hot To Handle

12:42I can persuade you

12:43To be in my bed tonight

12:49The misconceptions that people have about me is

12:51You think I'm a player

12:52And I'm not

12:53I'm just in the game

12:55I love women

12:58And apparently women love me

12:59So why would I complain about it?

13:01This guy is a player

13:02With a capital P

13:04Miss

13:05So they call me Big Ben

13:06This came about from a game of show and tell

13:09And I showed her

13:11And she told

13:14Same and that's why they call me the stuffed bell pepper

13:18When he gets excited in the morning

13:19I wake up to an alarm

13:21Ding dong

13:22Ding dong

13:23Ding dong

13:24Ding dong

13:25Ding dong

13:26Ding dong

13:27Ding dong

13:28Ding dong

13:29Ding dong

13:30Ding dong

13:31Just odd that really isn't it?

13:32Bit odd

13:33I've joined the agency

13:34Because I feel like

13:35I need help

13:36With finding within myself

13:38To why I can't just

13:41Be

13:42With one person

13:43And that be it

13:44That's why I'm here

13:45I need the agents to help me just find out

13:47What is wrong with me

13:48What is wrong with me?

13:49Well you've got a nickname for your penis

13:50So we could start there

13:52Look at him literally running towards the ladies

13:55Louie

13:56He's more excited than the jizz in John Lee

13:58From S Club 7's ball bag

14:00You alright?

14:01I've been told that you're too hot to handle

14:04They say that

14:05Oh, Olivia's keen

14:06Everybody says that

14:07Yeah, they do, they do

14:08I've got a little rep from myself

14:10But we're here to show that I'm growing

14:13Hi

14:14How you doing?

14:15I am good, how are you?

14:16Nice to meet you

14:17Right, vultures round a bag of meat these women

14:19Do you want to go for a chat?

14:20Yeah, go on then

14:21Oh, I say

14:22I'm so admiring of that confidence

14:24I'm just going to gently

14:26Melt weight

14:27So I was never here

14:28Think of me as a spectrum

14:29Okay

14:30A phantom

14:31Okay, cool yourself what you like mate

14:32A gooseberry is what you were

14:34Where you from?

14:35Newcastle

14:36Newcastle

14:37Yeah, Geordie

14:38I've been there a couple of times

14:39Not to see me

14:42Chance, what do you do?

14:43Tell me about yourself

14:44I'm an engineer

14:45Have you been married?

14:46Twice yeah, twice divorce

14:47Oh yeah

14:48I probably know the same lawyer

14:50Yeah

14:51When you flirt your banners about divorce lawyers

14:52You've definitely hit middle aged

14:54Respect

14:56Back to Christine now

14:57And the man who mustled his way into a chat with her

14:59Kieran

15:00And we're looking forward to this one

15:01So you've been dating before or?

15:03Um, I'm quite new to dating

15:06But um, yeah, for the last three years I've only dated women

15:11Oh have you?

15:12Okay

15:13Oh have you?

15:14Get it

15:15I'm not someone you look at then

15:18I just

15:20I can get a much deeper connection with a woman

15:23With a woman?

15:24Yeah

15:25But that might because you've never had the proper deep connection with the right blokes

15:28God loves a trier Kieran, women aren't that keen though

15:31Does that make sense?

15:32Like where they're not being, why not be listening to properly

15:41What's the traits you sort of, what you want from someone?

15:44A vagina

15:45I like someone who knows what they want and isn't playing games

15:50I want to know that it's just me and her

15:54Is it sinking in yet mate?

15:56Lovely, nice to meet you

15:57Nice to meet you

15:58Cheers

15:59Oh that's a horribly awkward attempted handshake there

16:01Unlucky mate

16:02Maybe next time trying to chat up some of the fancies men

16:05Just a thought

16:07Oi eyes off mate, you're not her type

16:09She digs chicks

16:21Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating

16:23You've got this, you're fine

16:25Bye

16:26All the celebs are in and the mingling has begun

16:29Oh god

16:30Kezza's doing her best to avoid chatting to anyone

16:32Hi kids

16:34Kids

16:35Got enough fucking kids in my life, thank you very much

16:38Oh my god, I feel sick

16:40I'm 44

16:41How the hell have I ended up back here again?

16:44S Club John's been out the game so long, he's a rusty lee

16:47How long have you been single for?

16:48I've been single for about six years

16:51So have you been dating a lot or have you not really dated?

16:53No, not at all, that was it

16:55This is crazy, I feel like one of those animals that's been released back into its natural habitat

16:59But two hot Louie and Love Island Liv look like their bloody loving life

17:03Saw you from over the other side of the room, thought I'd come over

17:07But after a shaky start, thanks to that guy, Christine McG is having a wobble

17:11How are you feeling right now?

17:13Like I'm starting to calm down a little bit

17:15I feel like everyone else is absolutely fine

17:17I'm not sure I can cope, I am not used to this sort of thing

17:22I definitely need the agent's help

17:25Yeah, where the effing hell are they?

17:27Oh hang on, what's this?

17:29Uber XL, slow motion

17:31Could it be the overlords of the whole damn thing?

17:36Oh, stick a bulldog clip on my nipples, here we go

17:39Give it up for the leather trousered love guru, Paul Carrick Brunson

17:44Purple-dressed princess of interpersonal relationships, Anna Williamson

17:50And the one and only green sequin sexpert herself, Dr. Tara Su Win Yattie Jaipo

17:56And yes, I pronounced that right, so suck it and put the cancellation on hold

18:01It's the agent's

18:06Hey guys, hey guys

18:08Welcome to the agency

18:13Yes, yes

18:14Now as you know, when you're members of the celebrity dating agency

18:18You'll be thrown in all sorts of tests and challenges

18:21Which is why this is a great time to reveal our first big secret

18:26Tom's actually straight and works as a scaffolder in Cardiff

18:29Tonight you'll be making your first choices on your dates

18:32Already?

18:33Okay

18:36But there's a catch

18:38Your first date will be in a totally different country

18:43North Korea?

18:45In the beautiful Spanish island

18:48Of Ibiza

18:49Yeah

18:54Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it? More direct flights

18:57Oh, we're going to Ibiza?

18:59Get in there

19:01The fact that the celebrities have to make a selection

19:03And bring that date with them for an entire week means that this is someone that they actually have to like

19:10And I love that decision for them

19:11The beauty of you being in Ibiza is that you will have the person that you select tonight

19:17And you will have them exclusively

19:20Yeah, but if you pick that person, you then stuck with them for the week

19:24Week's a long time, listen, you know what my weddings are like

19:29A week? Are they serious?

19:32Well, it's over to you

19:33Let the mingle recommence

19:35I've got a question

19:41I've got a question

19:42Yes

19:43Do we only pick one?

19:45Yes

19:46Do we only pick one person?

19:47One person

19:48One person

19:49One person

19:50I feel like everyone's going to be off in the ante now

19:51Because they all want to go on holiday

19:54Oh, I love Ibiza

19:56What?

19:57I need a minute

19:58Can I go for a minute?

19:59What?

20:00I can go for a minute

20:01Can I go for a minute?

20:02Can I go for a minute?

20:03I need a minute

20:04Can I have a minute?

20:05Can I have a minute?

20:06Can I have a minute?

20:07I don't want to just take someone away

20:09Aye

20:10It's a lot in it

20:11Yeah

20:12How can I go abroad with someone that I don't even know?

20:15This is not normal

20:17Yet things have just got real for our celebs

20:19And with his mind set on securing an Ibiza Plus One

20:22S Club John's getting down to business

20:24Go on there CJ

20:25What do you do for like hobbies and stuff?

20:27I live a very quiet life down in Cornwall

20:30Very, very quiet

20:31It revolves solely around the dogs

20:32I've got three dogs

20:33You've got three dogs?

20:34Yeah, yeah

20:35We're together 24 hours

20:36We sleep together in the same bed and everything

20:37So from the moment I wake up

20:38So is there room for somebody else in that bed?

20:40No

20:41There isn't?

20:42No

20:43That might need to change if you want to find love, John

20:44Any more dogs in the future?

20:47Um, I couldn't get any now

20:49Because they don't like other dogs

20:50They don't like little dogs

20:51They sound like little arse

20:53You've not heard dates in your bed

20:54Yeah, I've let them take over my life

20:56Oh yeah

20:57And the equivalent of a cat lady

20:58That's what's happened

20:59You're the equivalent

21:00I am, yeah

21:01You're the dog man

21:02Dog man is the equivalent of becoming the old cat lady

21:04He looks very nervous

21:05Yeah, yeah

21:07He looks like he's sweating

21:09Not necessarily feeling comfortable with himself

21:12I'm with you, I'm with you

21:13I'm with you

21:14These guys joined the agency because they wanted our help

21:16So, to be able to observe them in action here at the Mixer

21:19is incredibly helpful to us

21:21We can see how they operate and gather information

21:24And that's going to help us on their journey

21:30And with our sights set firmly on finding love on an island

21:33Love Island Live now makes a beeline for Ryan and Chris

21:36Look at them blue dog

21:38Thank you

21:39Thank you

21:40Please don't tell me you are a Chelsea fan

21:42A Chelsea fan?

21:43Absolutely not

21:44Oh, from the colour

21:46Yes, I'm saying

21:47I thought you're Chelsea

21:48Yes, I'm big Arsenal fan

21:49Gooders

21:50Big Arsenal fan

21:51Yeah

21:52What do we do like

21:53Spud

21:54Spud about that

21:55Nah, kisses man

21:56Okay

21:57Come on man

21:58I'm gonna test you

22:000405

22:02Name five invincible

22:04Players from the arse school

22:06Alright mate, do you want to date her or Ray Parler?

22:08Well to Harry and Ray, obviously

22:11Great start to be fair

22:12Yeah

22:13See, it's my crush

22:14Seaman

22:15Yeah, yeah, yeah

22:17No

22:18It was layman

22:19Is that one?

22:20Yeah, that's yeah

22:21I want to say like Fabregas

22:22Yeah, go on

22:23You're going

22:24Really?

22:25I don't know if I can do it

22:26Nah, you've got two more

22:27You've got two more

22:28Can you give me a clue?

22:29Nah, nah, two more

22:30You've got this

22:31Alright, calm down Geoff Stellan

22:32I mean, I love Arsenal

22:34Don't get me wrong

22:35But the football chat is a bit much

22:37We need to park it

22:38Having had a wobble earlier

22:40Christine has bravely ventured back into the lady fray

22:43And is chatting to Elise

22:44Are you in the queer scene much?

22:46Or like

22:47Me too?

22:48Yeah, yeah

22:49And I have been for years

22:50But I think because I'm married a man

22:53And whilst I was married

22:55I was always there as an ally

22:56Yeah, yeah, yeah

22:57Erm

22:58No, I'm one of us

22:59Yeah, I'm in it

23:00It's a little obstacle for us

23:02It's cute

23:03I think it's difficult for 10% in queer people

23:07It is, it is

23:08I was just saying that we need like a secret symbol or something

23:12A thumb ring apparently

23:13Is to tell

23:14Wait, hello

23:15You got a little thumb?

23:16You got a little thumb?

23:17It's all right

23:18Now I'm single again

23:19I'm kind of like

23:20Now you're out in it again

23:21Oh, I'm just saying

23:22Do you know what?

23:23I think I want to feel that kind of the intense like

23:27It's intense

23:28Yeah, but you know

23:29It's intense when it's a woman

23:31She's definitely the most nervous

23:32Out of all the celebrities

23:33But this is a really big deal to her

23:35I think joining the agency

23:37The stakes is really high for her

23:39I'm very pleased to see Christine being very honest though

23:41She's been open

23:43She's not hiding who she is

23:45She has gone straight in with that

23:51Now fully juiced on Red Bull champers

23:53Katona is on the Roma for her Ibiza beefcake

23:57All right, good?

23:58Kieran, isn't it?

23:59Kieran it?

24:00Yeah, Kieran

24:01Oh God, it's this geyser again

24:02Hello, Kieran

24:03Is that for me?

24:04I think one, yeah

24:05What is it?

24:06I ain't got a Scooby

24:07Well, tell me first right yourself

24:11How old are you?

24:12I'm 30

24:13Oh, you're bad back

24:15Fuck a dog

24:16When his balls has dropped

24:17And puberty is hit

24:18He can give me a call

24:19Taking him to a beefer

24:20Is a no-go

24:21An interesting fact about myself

24:23I'm one of three

24:24I'm triplet

24:25No!

24:26I've got two older brothers and a sister

24:27And what do you do?

24:28I'm a carver to the trades

24:30Quite a good wags

24:31Jesus was a carpenter

24:33I'm quite a good wags

24:34As long as you can part the worst

24:35And we're all right, love

24:36Yeah

24:37I think that was Moses, Keza

24:38Do you know how old I am?

24:40Same in late 30s

24:41Late 30s

24:42Oh, Kieran

24:43I tell you what

24:44I'm married for less, love

24:46I'm 44

24:48What's going on?

24:49I'm Denise going with me

24:51I'm a hoot

24:52I'm dead fucking funny

24:53Maybe laughing

24:54No, no

24:55Who's there?

24:56Kerry Katona

24:57Kerry Katona who?

24:58That's fucking showbiz

24:59LAUGHTER

25:00I knew she was Kerry

25:01She gives chat

25:02She gives good chat

25:03But I just don't think she's very sincere with it

25:06And I wonder who she's going to bring to Ibiza

25:10I just can't imagine who she would pick and why

25:12And yet that is what we're asking her to do

25:14that is what we're asking her to do i can see you believe can you she more your sight live

25:20yeah she can go yeah yeah yeah do you want me to put a word in put a word in

25:29too young too young i'll end up feeding him

25:35i wouldn't mind that i bet you wouldn't mind your thirsty little dog my problem is i've got

25:40no filter i don't give a shit dude well i drink to that well i'll put a word in my life

25:46yeah nice one see you not before you wish bad luck kieran so as kezza continues her search

25:53lover man louis is making moves on someone new what's your name neil and you're louis

25:59louis big ben whatever you want really what are you drinking tequila pineapple oh what do you do

26:05social media full-time what type of social media uh the only fun i was thinking of doing one as

26:11well to be fair really what club perfect match i reckon lick those lips boy i've got a degree

26:19though okay smart girl qualified mental health nurse you should have a field day in here then

26:24you've got beautiful teeth by the way thank you and eyes natural i'm not natural yeah that's what we

26:30like the only thing that's that it's always everything it's just just that just that space

26:35i didn't i didn't you weren't looking you're the only person you're the only person here

26:42ain't looking at my breasts and i was like mm-hmm yes while looking at her breast out of my side

26:47vision we know about the peripherals i mean you can have a glance if you want a glance

26:52this gator will subscribe to him i allowed it i think your eyes are prettier so it's fine thank

27:06you louie's gonna be a real handful because all of these girls look keen uh-huh well i'm gonna go

27:13and mingle a little bit i appreciate you okay it's nice to meet you see you later once he's glanced at

27:19your boobs he is done he gets what he wants and he gets out am i right dr t uh-huh told you

27:36hello and welcome back to celebs go dating where the mixer might be going off but the pressure is

27:41certainly on as our celebs have to pick one of our singletons to take with them for a week of having

27:47it large in ibiza currently lover man louie is like a dog with two dicks kerry katona's having

27:53a car crash and a nervy christine who's worked herself into a ripe paddy has now sat down with

27:58leanne you look stunning before are you okay yes how are you i'm feeling a little bit better i'm enjoying

28:07this body language is going on between them they look like two love hearts stacked together do you have

28:11any children i've got three so have i i've got three as well i've got twin boys i've got two

28:17look off have you got me me and leanne i've got loads in common and she's absolutely stunning but

28:24i can't really read that am i doing okay i don't think i've got any game come on chrissy you've got

28:30this how do you find navigating being in a relationship but you know what the the only

28:36thing i've struggled with is when i've really really liked someone and they haven't got children

28:42and then they want more yeah and i just know that that isn't for me you're done it's actually quite

28:49stressful because obviously i'm a mum full time and then i've got to find carve out my time in the day

28:54for whoever i'm speaking to so i find that that is a really special thing if i'm actually giving

28:59you time yeah it's because i actually really like you because i'm a very busy person that's what i

29:05always say dear my my time is actually very very precious it's very valuable and if i am spending

29:10time with somebody that you should know that you're important 100 okay well i have got to mingle some

29:17more okay it's lovely talking to you darling i've only got two and most days it look like someone's

29:31throwing clothes on a composty back to lover man louis now and christine if you need any tips on how to

29:39charm the ladies watch him with scottish last courtney this mofo is literally made of moves i like your

29:45accent i think your accent is the most attractive one i've heard really is it nice and soft

29:52i think it's cute oh do you also you also smell like

29:59warm yeah it's like sweets like a bakery like a bakery yeah like a bakery yeah that was what i was

30:06going for i wanted to smell that you could eat me get me a pint of milk and a bib papa's thirsty

30:15oh did she just say what i think she said not gonna lie man likes a snack innit

30:24i i i do you know what what are you gonna say

30:30whilst louis thinks of courtney's cookie there's a man eater across the room and i think she's looking

30:35to take a big old bite of dale hi hi can i excuse why it's hot it says handsome young man yeah get

30:43lost love it's time for queen katona to feast young i'm not that young i'm only 37 37. oh would you

30:49like me to call you an old bastard no no oh there you go where are you from is that where you live yeah

30:55yeah you got any kids no kids do you want kids i'd like to but it's not end all if i don't because you

30:59know i've got an orphanage right yeah i don't know how many how many kids you've got i don't know

31:04i've lost count they just keep popping up everywhere especially when they want money

31:09you seem all right well yeah i'm all right you've got a good body on you haven't you

31:13i've been oh i've been training for 21 years oh yeah see your biceps and i'm

31:19they're good aren't they they're like my nipples

31:21and if you want to fact check that get yourself on over to only fans i tell you what dale's the

31:29best out of bad bunch let's be honest but he's got a body to die for so uh i'm going to go talk to

31:35yeah of course obviously dale you've been the best so far i've got to tell you thank you chick

31:42right i'll go talk to you two whoever's closest eh kerry tell me more about yourself you said you don't

31:47have a type but i don't believe it as a win are you are you paying attention to something else

31:59i was i'm sorry i think he's a little bit distracted at times like who are you looking at he is like a

32:06lion looking for his prey what do you put on your lips lip gloss oh maybe i should start using lip gloss

32:14now i can give you some if you want yeah i bet you could we could sneak it if you come behind

32:22there you can sneak it oh he could be the most confident celeb we have ever seen at the agency

32:33well hey first kiss of the series episode one he was probably the bookies favorite to be fair

32:39and i'll wager he won't stop there and you look very elegant as well oh do you like the dress is

32:45he given to is he having wedding though is he given too elegant well do you want to get married

32:49whoa first proposal of the series i know he worked fast but that is ridiculous i'm dressed the way i

32:55intend to be married i take it that's a yes wonderful news i'm going to get ordained on the internet right

33:01now speaking of dog collars s club john's banging on about his four-legged friends again to his

33:07brand new pedigree chum jared got three dogs colin and bruno who are there lolly was supposed to be

33:14on it but she was really naughty that day i was getting my tattoos so she got struck off yeah yeah

33:18i have uh one of my cat's names under my right pack what's your cat's for ocean i've got a tattoo of

33:26my cat's name on my arse cheek he's called chinese symbol i'm actually allergic so makes no sense to have

33:32a cat do you know what i mean so what's your like normal type then look back on the guys that i've

33:37dated in the past and they're all very very different yeah they're all on this thing i'm

33:40the same but i guess just someone just someone's easy to talk to you do you know i mean i think you

33:45need it i get a lot of attention from like younger guys all right show off yeah as you get older and

33:49they start calling you daddy i'm like what the what the hell are you doing the what when did that

33:53happen one minute i was oh you're kind of like jockey it's rinky jockey and now you're daddy

33:58suddenly i'm a daddy call me daddy better than being called mommy i'm putting out there john is

34:04doing well john is doing way better than i thought he was gonna do like for real you thought he would

34:10suck i thought john was gonna be crap john has been a surprising outstanding mixer person it's been really

34:17nice to talk to you i'm gonna carry on at mingling i'm gonna see you in a minute as s club john

34:23confidently prowls around the mixer collecting more cock than a ball boy a badminton match

34:28olivia has snuggled into a tom-shaped security blanket lots of beautiful people yes hither and

34:33yon lots of beautiful people oh right back at you kiddo thank you darling right back at you

34:41oh here he is the unflushable turd oh you've got one anyway to be fair to him you've got to respect

34:47the hustle he's a grafter hello lovely to meet you we can do a hug third time lucky kieran good

34:52luck kieran olivia lovely to meet you cheers so can i just ask how old are you i'm 13. it's good

35:00i'm 29. i'm trying to do older than yeah what i've been going for before would you normally go for

35:05please tell me energetic what's it vibes yeah energetic banter good chat football ibiza is that

35:12a bit of you yeah getting on it and ibiza not sure he's waiting till ibiza i'm a party girl you'll find me

35:18dancing on the table you'll find him next year trying to start another conversation so he's not

35:23my usual type but he's got good chat good bants could be a potential date for ibiza you're a big

35:29party animal no no no no i used to be a party boy so you got it all out your system got out my system

35:34ready to meet someone okay you know do stuff with each other do stuff to each other well studio sorry that's

35:39sort of that's what i heard you say what did you say do stuff with each other like travel travel

35:44wholesome vibes well what are you thinking get off with each other our squeeze swap phone numbers look at

35:50live she's a little pocket rocket she's a professional out here she's just like bam bam bam this is how

35:55you do a mixer this is what is your ideal date sort of like an activity or something me too ah yes a museum

36:02or gallery perhaps an opera really soak up some culture love that i'll say like mini golf cocktails

36:08or mini golf cocktails either's good well i'm gonna go and scan the room all right when you um

36:14when you get bored of the others come find me later unlikely okay then liv take a look around all these

36:24hot eager single men we've laid on for you it's an absolute sexpot smorgasbord who you gonna pick

36:31you look stunning thanks darling oh for fuck's sake this guy's pheromones must be weapons grade

36:37are you confident me i think you look nice really nice thank you i appreciate you i'll try it wow

36:46i mean two attractive people yeah but i don't know i know i know why are they not talking to all these

36:55other sexy singles yeah oh my god this guy's unbelievable his dick's like a magnet in a

37:01toolbox i think you're trouble but trouble can be good yeah it can be there we go okay so who are you

37:09feeling because like out of it you are like probably the sexist girl in probably yeah it's better okay

37:17this is quite flirty quite intense is there something there there might be here's your tie

37:25i've just joined the agency and i'm not 100 of the rules just yet but i'm pretty sure i can date

37:40live and even if it is in the rule book rules are made to be broken it's just interesting observing you

37:46to see what you're like don't try and kiss me because you ain't getting one you're attracted to me

37:54what the hell you've never been told no before have you yeah really of course

38:02his stylist should have said it when he asked if a knit polo shirt was a good idea

38:06everyone's easy i'm not easy a lot of people are i'm hard work i'm talking like let me get to know

38:11you yeah yeah but that's that comes in hard work if you're hard like take me out on dates like

38:17take an interest not just like expect it how many dates

38:24however many it takes okay or you could just go out with one of the many people we've spent a lot of

38:31money bringing here tonight if you two end up getting off with each other you're paying everyone's

38:35travel expenses including mine

38:51if i take this off i'm drinking over my boss and hippos welcome back to celebs go dating with time

38:57running out of the first mixer all the celebs are beavering their way to secure their beef a plus

39:02one well except louis who's got them all eating out of his two hot hands

39:09you look nice son pretty girl

39:16so i've been told

39:20and an unsure olivia is saying hello to mark who she met earlier

39:24how do you feel about this ibiza trip then do you honestly i've never actually been

39:28i've never been to ibiza yeah it's definitely on the bucket list so i wouldn't mind taking it off

39:32maybe see one of you in ibiza i'll see what happens lovely to chat to you oh come on save that

39:40double kiss shit for the continent mate it's one kiss here you know what she's a little suspo actually

39:45she's she's young she's bubbly she's fun and actually she surprised me i think by doing probably

39:51probably one of the best in this mix of scenario she's enjoying it i would definitely say the best

39:56and doing her best not to have a full-on meltdown tonight is christine who bless her is having one

40:01last crack of the lady whip with shell and carly what is your time i love tattoos

40:08shorts and hair but energy as well energy is everything like i really do love like a more

40:14sensitive woman's patient to understand because i need that i'm a mom i'm busy life

40:21talking of busy s club john won't stop moving as he's now man mingling with man mountain lucas

40:28he a big boy so tell me something about yourself i've only actually been back in the country for

40:35three years before then i went traveling one on a big soul-searching uh mission and where did you go

40:42i didn't have only a plan i went into london i got on the eurostar and go for it and i was gone for

40:48four years yeah yeah i'm back i'm back and ready to kind of back in the business exactly and what's

40:54your type i like people that are taller than me i'm quite sure i'm only like five foot eight so

40:59um how about yourself i usually go for creative types

41:01yeah creating what though creating us as you know singers dancers yeah nice body someone who looks

41:11after themselves you know goes to the gym and stuff like this quite fit uh yeah um yeah i think that's

41:18that's my time lucas is saying all the right things and he's a big guy as well so far so good

41:24how are we doing how are we doing well i just don't care him yeah uh i know we both certainly

41:33like it yeah young for me i don't think so no i do 30 well i just don't fancy doing coloring in books

41:39with him i think coloring in might be a bit advanced for him he suggested breastfeeding earlier okay

41:43okay but no i know but we've got to like get out of our comfort zone and experience thank you

41:50no but you two are really interested well who else is there though i'll tell you he's all right dale

41:55yes yeah i think he's a nice guy okay it's a nice guy enough but you know what yeah

42:04he's probably nervous as well look at you i was who would like generally it's so close

42:09too much i'm sure you just careful if she'll have you on only fans good money but awkward at the

42:14school gate after a bountiful evening of lady shopping too hot lothario louis is now looking

42:21to close one last deal how are we doing double trouble hi how are you are they real or ai

42:29are you two are you two like different they're twins louis we haven't cloned them amber's very much a

42:35little bit more she's quick written and sassy whilst me i'm very like flirty and a very like

42:39you can get like a different side of me sometimes so you're more like witty

42:45sometimes i'm a bit like flirty and very sarcastic at times but sometimes my sarcasm

42:49that comes off a bit standoffish standoffish but that's not the person i am at all these two

42:54they're looking kind of fine two for one special

42:57what's your uh ethnicities wait no you need to guess this one yeah go on go i'll guess i'll guess

43:10african is not it's not it's not african it's not african jamaica yes you're good man how did you

43:18how did you get that i know my license it's awesome asian black and asian no beys and asian like

43:26barbadas oh and tegan and tegan 365 beaches every day of the year wow just like my mum with her

43:35blood thinners see you soon i'll see you guys and just like that he's gone off to see if he can find

43:42some triplets all right everyone let's gather around what's this paul jamaic music oh me don't

43:51tell me jet to have pulled out i beef us off you all have mingled your little socks off and this is

43:59the moment of truth

44:01celebs i want you right now right here to invite one of these very charming singles

44:17to come with you to ibiza big decision picking someone from this room because i've only spoken

44:23to them each for about five minutes to come away with me that's a big step here's how you're going

44:28to do it you see this it's what i call a golden ticket okay so this is yours john this is yours

44:36christine okay it's very simple the person that you would like to select you're going to simply

44:42present your golden ticket to i'm really freaked out by this i thought that agents were going to be

44:50the ones picking who i was going to date if you choose not to go with them that's a denial and you'll

44:57have to continue to ask until someone says yes oh really this is about stepping outside of your

45:07comfort zone you have to give them their own right of refusal it works two ways i don't think the girl

45:14i'm going to pick because i hate my ticket oh dear will things go wrong for louis armstrong i don't know her name

45:25i don't know the names do you know your names

45:31okay let's do this are you ready yeah so first up

45:35we have louis

45:38oh louis it's all about you now oh he wants some claps let's give him some claps yeah chances are

45:47he's given lots of people some claps so it's only fair i don't want pity caps i don't want pity

45:52caps i'm not gonna lie you have an idea of someone you want to take to ibiza

45:56okay ladies please step forward if you have spoken to louis tonight

46:07oh shit big ben's gonna be dinging tonight you're setting a record right now no no no i just wanted

46:13to get to i want to give everyone a chance that's it i just want to give everyone a chance

46:16it's very kind of good

46:22no bro all right louis it is decision time

46:27who would you like to take to ibiza there's a sexy girl that i want to take i'm pretty sure

46:33it's katherine or maybe jenny okay i would like to take to ibiza

46:41i don't know your name in the white dress oh i've never seen identical death stairs before

46:50no no because the reason why i don't know your name is because i just being forgetful and you also

46:55have a twin i just but i also think you have nice energy you're beautiful and i want to get to know

46:59you better so i think our beef will be a great place to do that louis not remembering someone's name

47:06is a big no no angie member oh my god one out of nine you know i'm just a sharp oh my i'm just

47:15stop talking

47:19my name is caitlin nice to meet you caitlin you're absolutely stunning you've already met her louie

47:24and her sister courtney there was a moment of affection

47:30wait a minute so did you guys have a snog no i just bought some lip gloss

47:33i did i did it was just we did just pick yeah some might say a moment of intimacy

47:44okay so so lips rubbed against each other that's excessive though how do you think it's

47:50going to feel great it's not going great is it not great can i just give it a ticket please

47:56well one second caitlin louie has chosen you to go to ibiza with him now are you going to say yes

48:07what's she gonna say will she say yes will she say no what's the decision here it comes yes yes

48:14got it find out tomorrow bitches next time on celebs go dating

48:20we're off to ibiza baby that guy will pet anything before and after

48:31and could there be some celebrity shape love in the air there's definitely sparks flying between

48:37louie and live is he what of course i'm my type literally today i have a lot of romance to give

48:42just no one to give it to them i doubt that inundated swamped overwhelmed

49:12so

49:17and that's what i did

49:18it's

49:21it's

49:23it's

49:25it's

49:29it's

49:31it's

49:33it's

49:35it's

49:37it's

Celebs Go Dating (2016) Season 14 Episode 1- Episode 1 -

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