00:00When I was going on talking like this, I did not know that my mother had expired of heart attack.
00:09I did artificial respiration, everything I did, I was living with her corpse for almost one night.
00:20Earlier, when I was in school itself, I was harassed by my classmates and school seniors, bullying and all that.
00:27They wouldn't allow me to flourish further in any developing step in my school age.
00:34That is, I used to come first in sports, games.
00:38I used to do quite very well in studies, but one of my classmates was very much against it.
00:45So one of my school seniors also were against my coming up in life.
00:52So they harassed me through a pun.
00:55He went from every classroom, he went and finally when he saw a girl, myself in the classroom, he tried to pull my hand.
01:02And my classmates name, I am not willing to say.
01:06He was there with me.
01:08He asked me to run away.
01:10You run, you run, you run.
01:11He had high fever, he asked me to run away.
01:13When I tried to run away, he tried to pull my hand.
01:15That shock was there.
01:18And so for so many years, but I took it as a challenge and studied till 12th standard in front of the pun itself in the same school.
01:30I didn't change the school at all.
01:33I didn't complain to anybody, even not even to my principal.
01:37So not even to my parents or relatives.
01:41Slowly my concentration deteriorated in studies.
01:45I used to get nice marks around 95 and all that.
01:50Slowly the concentration reduced.
01:53And in my native place also, my cousin was not a very good guy.
02:00My metal and uncle and my cousin, my aunt and all, they harassed me for a lot of household work used to be given.
02:10If my college is at 8 o'clock for practicals, they used to send me only at 10 o'clock.
02:14I used to keep on losing practical classes.
02:17When I told them, when I complained to my parents, I complained to my aunt.
02:22She said, no, no, you are a girl, you have to do household course and only go.
02:26And then I came back, I will not study further, they are trying to harass me.
02:30I said, so my parents said, okay, we'll find you apply in kindergarten.
02:36I was around 22 or something when I went to kindergarten as a school teacher, kindergarten teacher.
02:46My father-in-law was not there.
02:48My husband, ex-husband, he was harassing me for dowry.
02:54He compared my schoolmates with me.
02:57My schoolmates, whenever they come to visit me or my college mates, whenever they write a letter, he used to take the letter.
03:03And he used to read the letters and he used to say, this girl should have been my wife.
03:06That girl should have been.
03:07Wherever he goes, to whichever marriage, I went to my friend's marriage.
03:11I took him also and went and he said, I should be sitting there instead of that groom.
03:15Like that, he used to compare.
03:17Frankly, in front of everybody, he used to compare like that.
03:20And I said, I am filing a divorce against you.
03:25I am not willing.
03:26You get married to whomsoever you are willing.
03:29You get married again, I told him and I came off.
03:32My father was a house owner also.
03:34We had land in Kyalambakam also, near Kovalam.
03:37So, we had to sell all that.
03:39I told my father to sell all that.
03:41Because after he passes away, it will be very difficult for us to manage.
03:46So, and when my mother was harassed, I left it.
03:50I sold it to a real estate fellow.
03:52That real estate fellow, what he did was, he gave us house in a very remote area.
03:58One fine day, suddenly, his mind changed, the real estate fellow's mind changed.
04:06He told the neighbors something or what, I don't know, the neighbors came to shout.
04:10They came and shouted at me.
04:12They said, no, no, go back to your husband.
04:14Why are you, my husband is here.
04:18What will he think of you?
04:20Why are you living here as a single woman with your mother?
04:23You have to clear this place or I'll make you clear this place.
04:26Like that, my neighbor said in Chengalpet.
04:29So, I was worried.
04:31Suddenly, what happened, the real estate owner came.
04:34And he said that we are shifting you to Palur.
04:39That is also near Chengalpet.
04:41That place is very, very remote.
04:43Nobody buys a house there.
04:45And it was like a crime area almost.
04:49Palur.
04:50And my mother and myself had no food and water for so many days.
04:56From the electricity board came and removed the fuse.
04:59And my mother had died.
05:01I was going on talking like this.
05:02I did not know that my mother had expired of heart attack.
05:05I did artificial respiration, everything I did.
05:08I was living with her corpse for almost one night.
05:11But I was in a state of shock.
05:14And I was blabbering something, which I myself don't remember.
05:21My neighbor was a very nice old man.
05:24He said, I'll shift you to a phone to Banyan.
05:28People will come.
05:29When they came from the Banyan, she was going on explaining.
05:34Her name is, she is a staff here, Gajalakshmi.
05:38She was going on explaining.
05:39We are from the Banyan.
05:40We will do this.
05:41We will do that.
05:42I was not in a state of mind to accept even that.
05:47I was always thinking of my mother, something or the other.
05:50I felt haunted almost.
05:52So I missed my mother a lot.
05:54And then I said, after they pursued me to think it over.
06:00And then I almost took one day.
06:03I made them come again to the same place.
06:05From Chennai all the way to Palur.
06:07It's very far away.
06:08I made them come all the way again.
06:11They booked a car and they came.
06:13I took my jewelry and everything.
06:16And I went to Mogapir.
06:19In Mogapir, they had a tough time.
06:23Almost two months, I was in Dr. Kishore's medication.
06:31They gave me injections.
06:33They gave me a lot of tablets.
06:35And finally, one day they sent me to Covalum Health Centre.
06:45In Health Centre, I stayed for some time afterwards.
06:47I was shifted to ECRC to stay here.
06:50Now I am living in an independent living setup.
06:55I work as a personal assistant to the clients of the HomeAgain Project.
06:59Having lived in experience, I try to give them an update better than other PAs.
07:08Other PAs come from a normal setup.
07:10I had an experience of this psychiatric illness.
07:16I had psychiatric problems.
07:18So, when I give an update to the higher authorities or to the psychiatrist,
07:25it is easy for them, for me also to recognize, maybe this is the symptom.
07:30Like that.
07:31I don't have loneliness.
07:33Mostly, I have books.
07:35Now, I have Android phone for work and personal use.
07:44So, whenever I get time, I go to Bangalore.
07:47Otherwise, I talk with my relatives.
07:50My friend is there.
07:51She will chat a lot.
07:52And we also have, what to say, FM radio and all that.
07:58And so, mostly we won't feel very lonely.
08:02My only aim was, if I were a housewife, I would have had children and all that.
08:08I miss that family life.
08:11Of course, I definitely miss that.
08:13I miss that.
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