What_A_Cartoon_Show_Larry_and_Steve

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Transcript

00:00Hi there. My name's Steve. I'm a dog, in case you're, um, well, stupid.

00:20I came that close to breakfasting with my maker this morning. My number was up in the city pound.

00:26Number 27, please prepare for immediate destruction.

00:30With less than a few minutes to live, I set about the task of being noticed by prospective pet owners.

00:36Hey, Opie, Opie, would you like a dog?

00:38Uh, excuse, excuse me, sir. Sir, I can do your taxes for you.

00:41Oh, okay.

00:43There was just, uh, one problem, however.

00:46Listen, kid, I need your help. You've got to get me out of here or else I'm...

00:49Finished for good. What do you say? Can you give me a hand?

00:53No one could understand me until Larry showed up and thus began the ugliest day of my life.

01:02For crying out loud, is anyone listening?

01:05Whoa, a dog that speaks English.

01:07What?

01:08You know, you know, I once had a Jack Russell Terrier that spoke Dutch, but I couldn't understand a word he was saying.

01:13Listen to me. If you don't get me out of here, I will be put to sleep.

01:16Do you, are you listening? Do you understand me?

01:17You will be indirectly responsible for the resulting euthanasia.

01:20Oh, boy, they got enough kids over there as it is.

01:24Just my luck that the only person who could hear me had the IQ of a flank steak.

01:28So Larry took me back to his quality apartment downtown.

01:34Here's your room, Steve. What do you think?

01:36Well, it's got everything I need. TV, light, bed.

01:41Well, great. You're all set then.

01:45Hmm. Well, at least the bed's okay.

01:48Larry, we, uh, need to address this problem.

01:52Oh, boy, you're right, Steve. We gotta do something.

01:58What are we gonna do?

01:59Well, let's go shopping, hmm?

02:00Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

02:02Uh, Larry, it says here your license is suspended.

02:05No, no, they just took it away temporarily.

02:08Oh, let's see now. Where to shop? Where to shop?

02:11One of the Stewie's has usually got good stuff.

02:13Air conditions always turn up kind of high in there, though.

02:15That's the only thing I don't like about that place.

02:18Poopons. Poopons.

02:20Hey, cut it out. Steve was gonna test the shot there the other day.

02:30Larry, next time be more careful.

02:32Go!

02:41What was that?

02:42Half an Ultimobile.

02:43Well, as long as it don't go near the chickens.

02:45Wait a minute, isn't that a bit contrived?

03:00Pardon me.

03:01Would you have any yellow redneck mustard?

03:05I don't know, Steve.

03:06I just can't find anything.

03:07Anyhow, what about that place?

03:09Hi there.

03:10Welcome to quality furnishings with quality affordable items and only the finest in customer service.

03:23Just ask our spokesman, Mickey the xenophobic Scotsman.

03:26I'm Cindy.

03:31How can I help you?

03:32My goodness, she's rather sprightly, isn't she?

03:34Oh, isn't that cute?

03:36Your dog walks on two legs.

03:38Yeah, isn't that cute?

03:40I could...

03:41...wade my feet in your makeup.

03:43Listen, relax, Steve.

03:44Cindy, we need to find a bed.

03:46Oh.

03:47Well then, follow me.

03:48This is the massage mattress, our newest item in stock.

03:53Oh, boy, that sounds comfortable, huh?

03:55Hey, why don't you turn it on, Steve?

03:56Oh, okay.

04:00Oh, boy, does that feel...

04:02Oh, my gosh.

04:03Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

04:05Oh, Steve, you've got to try this.

04:06Oh, that's okay.

04:08Oh, come on.

04:09Come on, come on, come on, come on.

04:10Feels good.

04:11Well, oh, all right.

04:13Oh, that's actually quite nice.

04:19Huh?

04:19See, there you go.

04:21See, I knew he'd like it.

04:36See, there you go.

04:37Now, is that therapeutic or what?

04:38How do you feel, Steve?

04:40Like Agamemnon after the fury of Clytemnestra.

04:42Hi, uh...

04:43Who?

04:44It's a tragedy.

04:45Oh.

04:48Is everybody all right?

04:51This light is perfect for the avid reader.

04:53With directional adjustability and variable intensity.

04:56Hey, you know, I bet if you used one of these big bulbs, it'd work even better, huh?

05:00That's an 800-watt bulb, sir.

05:01Yeah, yeah, you can't put an 800-watt bulb in a lamp that size.

05:04Steve, honey, I think I know what I'm talking about, all right?

05:08All right?

05:08I mean, I didn't spend 12 years in kindergarten because I'm stupid.

05:11Why then?

05:12I got my foot caught in a radiator.

05:13Here, let me see this.

05:18Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

05:21Oh, now that's light, huh?

05:24Look, this is your plan, Lord.

05:28You still haven't retained my weed weapon.

05:29Ricky, I know you've never flown a plane before, but why don't you take the controls while I go in the back and grab a wee nip of the creature?

05:55Okay.

06:05My goodness, Ricky, look what you've done.

06:09Oh, heck, I can't stay mad at you.

06:11Come on, I'll buy you a licorice whip.

06:13Look, Steve, I hate to tell you this, but my card was declined.

06:16We're going to have to come back next week.

06:20Thanks for shopping quality.

06:22Bye-bye now.

06:23So there you have it.

06:25Being with Larry is hazardous to my health, but as long as no one else can hear me, I'm stuck with him.

06:30Look, if anyone out there can understand me, help me out, huh?

06:33I'm housebroken, I'm neutered, and I'm well-versed in the works of Chaucer.

06:37Hey, Steve, what you doing?

06:38Oh, you know, your tripod's loose.

06:42There we go.

06:43Whoops.

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