00:00I love you so much, and to the entire Elle team, we're done.
00:04He said, we're done.
00:05We're done.
00:06Hi, I'm Renee Rapp, and this is Phoning It In with Elle.
00:11I feel like it's going to go super well.
00:12I love to lie, but I, oh my God, I hate cold calling people.
00:16So that's the only part about this that I'm like, oh God, I'm going to push through their
00:21D&D anyway.
00:23Who should I call?
00:24Who should I call?
00:24Sorry, I just have to skim through my book.
00:27Let's see.
00:27I'm going to call Bowen, and I'm going to tell him I accidentally hit Lorne Michaels walking
00:34on a crosswalk.
00:38Hello?
00:39Hey, this is Renee.
00:41Renee from where?
00:43Well, Renee, Rapp, Renee.
00:45Oh my God, hi, are you okay?
00:47Hey, sorry, honestly, okay, I don't necessarily know who else I can call.
00:51Okay, okay, yeah, what's up?
00:53Are you alone?
00:54I'm not, but I can get alone.
00:56Right here, okay.
00:57Yeah, hi, hi, hi, what's up?
00:59Okay, so I'm in New York, and I was driving.
01:03Well, I wasn't driving, I was in the car.
01:05There's a lot of traffic, and people were crossing, and I was like, oh my God, that's
01:09my friend, and it was Lorne, and the driver got distracted.
01:14He basically hit Lorne while he was walking.
01:18And so I like ran out of the car, and I just ran into this building, and I think he saw
01:25me, and I don't really know what to do, and I don't want him to think that I hit him.
01:29Like, it wasn't me driving the car, but I ran out because I got so scared.
01:32Don't worry, he probably totally understands what the situation was.
01:37I'm so sorry you feel this, of course, it makes total sense that you're scared and distressed
01:42about it, but...
01:42If he had a heart attack and died, I don't know what I would do.
01:46Oh, oh, Lorne, it's okay, it's totally fine.
01:49Okay, but I really want to do SNL again, so I just feel like, hey, I don't know, I don't
01:55know, what if...
01:56I know.
01:57Nothing bad is going to happen, okay?
02:00Okay.
02:01I promise.
02:02Can I be so honest?
02:03Yeah, yeah, please.
02:04Okay, I love you more than anything, and I am fully pranking you for an Elle prank call
02:12video, and I did not hit our dear friend, Lorne Michaels.
02:16You're a fucking...
02:18What the fuck is wrong with you?
02:23Oh, my God.
02:25Wait, why is my heart racing?
02:27Because you sold that shit.
02:30Wait, thanks, I kind of ate.
02:31I'm at work.
02:33I'm so sorry.
02:34All of her is going down.
02:37I'm awesome for that.
02:39Bye.
02:39I'm being crazy, I love you.
02:41Love you.
02:42So perfect.
02:44You're going to do SNL again.
02:46I'm like, but what if Lorne has a heart attack?
02:48Honestly, poor Lorne.
02:50All right, I'm going to call him a role model.
02:53I'm going to profess my love for him, and if he says something crazy, then we're fucked.
03:02It's his birthday.
03:05Hey, what are you doing?
03:06Hey, okay, wait, where are you?
03:09What are you doing?
03:10I'm at lunch with my lawyer, and I'm staring across the room at Cone and Greg.
03:15Okay, first of all, happy birthday.
03:21Okay, I have to tell you something.
03:24Okay.
03:24Okay, so I'm in New York, and I'm so drunk, and I'm out with my friends, and we were just
03:31talking about you.
03:33Honestly, like, I love girls, but I've had the biggest crush on you for so long, and I think
03:42you're the cutest thing ever, and I think that we should definitely be together.
03:49You're freaking me out.
03:51Wait, literally come to New York.
03:53This is like my birthday present.
03:55If I was going to date a boy, it's going to have to be you.
03:59Okay, totally.
04:01You're freaking me out, but I'm 100%.
04:03I agree.
04:04Hang on.
04:06Who is this?
04:06Hurry, call again.
04:07Answer it, goddammit.
04:09Hi, I love you.
04:11I'm prank calling you.
04:14It's freaking me out.
04:15You scared me.
04:17Okay, love you.
04:20Wait, Tucker's so scared.
04:28He's like, oh, I love you.
04:30I'm going to text you.
04:31My drunk voice is too good.
04:32No, it's actually insane.
04:33Yeah, by the way, Bowen just texted me and said, fucking insane.
04:36Oh, my God.
04:38Who is next?
04:40I'm going to call Toa and tell her that I got in a fight, and I'm being detained.
04:45We have a lot of conversations about our anger.
04:47Hey, baby.
04:51Hey, what are you doing?
04:53I'm just driving.
04:54What's up?
04:55Long story short, I was walking to rehearsal.
04:57There was this person outside, and they kind of just started, like, barking back at me and
05:00just started, like, yelling at me, and, like, I started going back at them, and, like, you
05:03know how...
05:04I'm coming, thanks.
05:05You know how hard of a week I've had, and I've been really wound tight, and I just kind
05:09of lost it.
05:09I just lost it on this person, and I hit this person, and they fell.
05:13What?
05:13Okay.
05:14The person who was watching called the police, and...
05:17And now they are basically detaining me.
05:18I don't know what to do.
05:19Okay, honey, it's okay.
05:20I don't know what to do.
05:21Okay, you're gonna be...
05:21I don't know what to do.
05:23You're gonna be okay, my baby, my baby.
05:26I'm right here.
05:26I'm right here, okay?
05:28Okay.
05:28I'm right here.
05:29Okay.
05:30Okay.
05:30Okay.
05:30Why are they detaining you?
05:32Just because I hit this person so hard that they fell.
05:34Speak to the police, and just tell them that they came at you, and you felt right.
05:39And you know how, like, in the episodes of SVU that we watch, like, basically somebody
05:43open somebody hard enough, and then they have, like, brain bleeding, and then they end up
05:47dying, and they just don't want that to be me.
05:51Honey, honey, it's not gonna be me.
05:53If you can try and calm down, if you can try and calm down...
05:58This was really just in self-defense, baby, I promise.
06:02I know, honey.
06:03I know, honey.
06:04Nothing bad is gonna happen to you, okay?
06:06Nothing bad is gonna happen.
06:07If you just calmly explain the situation, that it was important for you to keep yourself safe.
06:12Of course, of course.
06:14Okay, baby.
06:14So, if you could just post me all for me, I'm really, really sorry.
06:18Okay, baby, okay.
06:19Wait, hang on.
06:20I was pranking you.
06:28I didn't hit anybody.
06:31Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you?
06:36Please don't be mad at me.
06:37I love you so much.
06:40I'm gonna kill you, and I'm gonna kill that bitch.
06:42I'm too.
06:44Can I be honest?
06:47There's Oscar buzz.
06:47I've been going so crazy all day.
06:49Love you, baby.
06:51Bye.
06:52Bye.
06:53Wait, she genuinely got very upset.
06:57Wait, I'm, like, shaking.
06:59I'm so invested in my own performance.
07:01This is outrageous.
07:02Why am I, like, terrified?
07:04This is fun.
07:05I think I miss acting.
07:06I'm gonna call Jon Hamm and tell him that I've been asked to play a queer version of Don Draper in a Mad Men reboot.
07:18Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
07:20Jonathan, call me back.
07:23It's randomly urgent.
07:25And if he doesn't text me back in two minutes, I know he's filming, but I'm literally gonna call him again.
07:29I don't believe in D&D.
07:31For me, I believe in it, but for my friends, I don't.
07:34Oh, he said, hey, honey, I'm on set.
07:36Can I hit you in a bit?
07:38No.
07:41This is so random, but it's sort of dire.
07:44Only if you have a sec.
07:49He said.
07:50I'm right in the middle of the shooting.
07:51Is this about, quotes, bite me?
07:57I'm gonna be, like, so crazy, but it's about Mad Men.
08:01Okay, did I call everyone that I, oh, he just sent me a voicemail.
08:08Hang on.
08:09By the way, the transcription, the AI transcript, says transcription, low confidence, because he talks so low.
08:15He's so cute.
08:16Rob Star, I'm in a little shooting.
08:20I have limited service, but I will try you at a later moment in time.
08:24Hopefully later, as you think.
08:26He's so cute.
08:28Okay, and now I'm gonna send him a voicemail.
08:30I have to be so honest with you, because I don't want you to see this and get scared.
08:34I was trying to prank call you, and tell you that I was going to play the lesbian Don Draper in Mad Men Gay Edition.
08:42You're such a sweet little concerned friend.
08:45Have a good time shooting.
08:48I think he's the sweetest person alive.
08:51Like, this man is in lesbian group chats.
08:52Like, he can be trusted across the globe.
08:54Like, he's perfect.
08:56I have to call Jake.
08:57I'm trying to think of an insane, like, super raunchy.
09:01Oh, no.
09:03He was trying to find a sugar daddy.
09:06Sorry, this is a prank call for Elle Maxine.
09:09Oh, wait, got it.
09:11I'm gonna call Jake Shane and tell him that I'm pregnant.
09:14Queen!
09:18Okay, hey.
09:19What are you doing right now?
09:21Are you, is everything okay?
09:23I'm kind of freaking out, because I don't want to talk to any of my immediate friends in my friend group.
09:27Like, in the lesbian group, because I feel like they'll...
09:29Are you doing an Elle prank call series right now?
09:33I love you, and I genuinely wish that I was.
09:35Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
09:37I just, I just had to get that up.
09:38No, no, no, I know.
09:40I am pregnant.
09:44Oh, my God, are you serious?
09:45I obviously can't tell any of my friends, because they know Toa.
09:49And I think that they would freak out, because obviously, like, it's not hers.
09:53So, what do you want to do?
09:54I have you, I have you.
09:55I met this guy, and we had this, like, whole thing, and that was, like, attractive to me.
09:58Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
10:00I'm so sorry.
10:00I'm not sure what I'm supposed to, like, say to her.
10:03I just don't know what to do, and I, like, told her to, like, leave the house, because
10:05I was, like, I don't, I, like, can't be around you.
10:08But also, I'm, like, I have to, like, admit it to her.
10:11I feel like maybe she'll be, like, empathetic, you know?
10:14But, like, I've cheated before, and I think that this was always, like, the thing she was
10:17going to be afraid of.
10:19I'm going to finish work at, like, four o'clock, and then I can come to you literally
10:24right when I finish.
10:26Ugh, I love you so much.
10:29Are you fucking with me?
10:31I literally...
10:33I hate you!
10:37Wait, tell me I didn't sell it.
10:39No, you told her.
10:40I was like, oh, my God, you just gave me a fucking heart attack.
10:44Totally.
10:45I love you so much, and to the entire L team, we're done.
10:49He said it.
10:50We're done.
10:51We're done.
10:51I love you.
10:52Bye.
10:53Bye, hon.
10:54My sweet little peach.
10:55What a cutie pie.
10:57I think it went really well.
10:58I think that my girlfriend might leave me,
11:01but my heart is literally racing.
11:04Like, that was literally exhausting.
11:05I, like, put myself through those scenarios, basically.
11:08I just hit Lauren with a car.
11:09That's how it feels emotionally.
11:11Anyway, thanks for watching.
11:13Listen to my new music.
11:15Don't hit anybody too hard to the point where you're scared about, like, a brain aneurysm.
11:20Don't hit anybody.
11:34You
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