00:00I think the date is going really horrible. Um, they're asking me really crazy questions.
00:04I don't know if I like this person. I hate it. This is so bad, you guys.
00:08Honestly, I don't think that they know how to wear Miu Miu correctly. Not hot.
00:25First date questions. Let's get this over with.
00:27Wow, you're already emotionally unavailable. I love that.
00:34Okay, what's the most embarrassing thing you're proud of?
00:37Probably my singing skills.
00:40It's kind of good. It's kind of embarrassing because I'm really good and I want to be humble.
00:47But it's really good. Somebody put me on X Factor.
00:51Oh, the crowd goes wild. You're not going wild. Let's change that.
01:00What era in your life was the hottest?
01:03Probably now.
01:04Yeah, I feel like all eras are hot, but you have to say now or else you're not being positive.
01:09It's good to be positive. You know, how would you introduce yourself in a reality confessional?
01:14Oh, hi. I'm the problem. It's me, Alex. You might know me from Euphoria or Spongebob.
01:24I'm here to give you the tea. To talk my shit. Beep.
01:29Okay, what's something that you used to be embarrassed by but now you're low-key proud of?
01:33Probably just owning being trans. I think it's always been difficult to be able to admit that
01:38I'm a trans woman and there's nothing wrong with that and I think now more than ever I feel powerful
01:42and I feel strong and I feel empowered to be who I am. I think there's nothing sexier than
01:47being quote unquote different but owning it.
01:50What's the song you want played at your funeral?
01:52Um, probably that bass, that titty girl, shake that ass by Saucy Santana or anything by JT or
02:01unwritten. The rest is still unwritten. Oh, that was kind of good. Yeah, um, probably that,
02:08you know, I think that's like a good mix of songs. Also, maybe some Michael Buble. Yeah,
02:13gag the girls. JT, Michael Buble, Saucy Santana. It's done. I'm in the ground. I don't think it's
02:20important for partners to have the same music taste. I think it's actually the opposite.
02:23If you're not expanding my mind, if you're listening to too much of what I listen to,
02:27you're going to piss me off because now I'm not original anymore. You know, I think that's important.
02:32Let me be original. You know, it's like the fuck. What's your villain origin story?
02:38Probably this date. Yeah, no shade, but pretty terrible. I mean, honestly, I've been a villain
02:45since day one. Been evil since day one. Can't you tell by the three buttons? Let's also look at this
02:51eyeshadow. Mean, nasty, shady bitches. Okay, what's your Roman empire? Probably girls that are about
03:03six foot tall, transsexual, blonde with a little bit of a root. Name starts with an A, ends with an X,
03:09and then their last name starts with a C and ends with an I. I don't really know that many people like
03:14that, but I think if I knew somebody like that, they would just be my Roman empire. I'd probably
03:18just give them all my money. Give them all my money. It's working or no? Or, um, yeah, someone
03:28that can make like a good egg and not get it stuck on the pan because that's annoying and I would hate
03:32to like, you know, talk to someone or be friends with someone and look in their sink and there's a
03:37fucking egg on the pan. That's so gross. Not an empire. So yeah. Okay. What's your irrational fear?
03:45Hmm. My irrational fear is definitely... Girl, this is a hard one because I don't really have many fears.
03:52Breaking my toe. That's really like scary. Thinking about having to put on a Manolo with a broken toe.
03:59I think the date is going really horrible. Um, they're asking me really crazy questions. Like,
04:10I don't know. I don't know if I like this person. I hate it. This is so bad, you guys. Honestly,
04:16I don't think that they know how to wear Miu Miu correctly. Not hot. Their outfit looks really good
04:21and they have a really good style and they're really hot. I mean, they're a 10, but it's not for me.
04:28Yeah. They think they're funny and they're not. Chop. It's a chop. Zeroes across the board.
04:33I'm into this mask vibe going on over here. The way they got that five layers of shirts.
04:39It's not that cold in here. Do I think that there'll be a second date?
04:43Um, depending if they pay for this wine, this unopened bottle of wine that looks somehow like water.
04:52Okay. So serious question. What's your first date? Red flag.
04:56I think showing up late or making me wait after more than five minutes, call me a diva down,
05:03but like, mm-mm, girl, I have places to go. You never know. Like, could have been an iFly with my
05:08homegirls, you know? People do fun things and now I'm wasting my time waiting for you outside of a
05:14restaurant or wherever. Take me to iFly. When is it too soon to say I love you? Never say it. Ever.
05:21I think love, you don't need to say it. You need to show it. Yes. It's about showing the love because
05:27talk is cheap. Do you share food on a first date? Yeah, why not? Sometimes you don't want to have
05:32the full burrito. Just depends, you know? Sometimes, like, I'm not trying to eat your steak. You know,
05:37I don't know if you like steak, but I'm not a steak girl. So if we like the same thing, like if you're
05:42getting like a mac and cheese, extra breadcrumbs on the top, a little crumbled, baked 350, extra crispy at the
05:48top, I'll have a bite. Could you date someone funnier than you? Good luck. I don't think there's
05:54so many people out there that can make me laugh. How do you get out of a date and is ghosting acceptable?
06:02I don't think so, girl. That's rude. Boots. That's boots. Like, that's so rude. Why would you do that?
06:07I mean, to each his own. I think, yeah, just say you don't like them. Say you don't want to go on a date.
06:13It's over. Do you still watch your ex's stories on social media? I'm gonna plead the fifth to that
06:18one, but yeah, of course. But that's not pleading the fifth, I guess. Yeah, of course, babe. I like
06:24to keep an eye out for Selena. Always. So how do you flirt? Um, probably by just being funny.
06:35Yeah. I love to be funny. So sexy. I think that, or I just give like this.
06:46Little eyebrow raise, you see that? Like a, I don't know.
06:49Okay. Whose closet would you rate, dead or alive? No questions asked. Personally,
06:57it'd be Paloma El Cesar. I've rated it already and I'll continue to rate it.
07:02Sorry, sister. I think she knows, but, um, if she doesn't, it's fab. Like, she has really good. I
07:08love a Yoji girl. I love a Home Des Garcon girl. That is her. I love a, yeah, all of it.
07:15Which fashion era should make a comeback and which should stay dead? I think that 1920s is fab. I
07:22think there was extra-ness and extravagance in the details that I don't think they have anymore.
07:26I think an era that shouldn't come back is probably maybe like the 1700s. Like, I don't know what they
07:32wore, but probably not something fab. So like, I don't know, like a girdle. Is that what they wear?
07:37Probably. I don't like that. Um, what is it? The, the pointed shoes for the men, that's fab. That's extra.
07:43But I think it's like when the layers are like doing something that you can't see,
07:47it's not extra enough. So like, yeah, probably like roughly 1738 can go. I don't want to see it
07:53come back. I'm seeing it come back on TikTok and I don't like it. 1738, aye!
07:58How many outfit changes is acceptable on a first date? There could never be too many.
08:03If you had to flirt with runway walks, which designer show would you pull from?
08:11Okay. I'll probably pull from a little bit of Margiela. The funniness there, fab,
08:16like the unseriousness in the walk, love. Versace, of course, that's pinnacle of sexy.
08:21Probably makes a little bit of like d-squared in there for some hip.
08:25Would you rather wear the same outfit for a week or have to switch shoes with a stranger every day?
08:30I honestly wear the same outfit every day. I've worn the same jeans for three years.
08:34Great jeans. So I'll switch my shoes and my shirt, obviously, but I think jeans are
08:38pretty universal. So I'd have to say probably, yeah, keep the same outfit. But like layers,
08:44like this, head to toe, Prada exclusively. You know, Monday, I take off the Prada coat
08:49and there's a Prada shirt on top of the Prada dress. And at the end, I'm just in Prada panties
08:54and a Prada heel. There's no love like Birkin. No Birkin up. No, Prada. Just Prada girl.
09:04I think that she's very fab. I'd give her a 10 out of 10. I probably would go on a date
09:09now that I talked to her a little bit. I'm not going on another date with this person.
09:13I think that they're cute, but something about the way that they
09:17talk pisses me the fuck off. So trick or treat, boo. Let's go on a second date. It's a chop. It's
09:23chop city, chop lettuce. Something about everything that they do, actually, I hate. And I've just been
09:28really good at acting throughout this date, but they are trade. I will say that's good. They're trade.
09:36They're hot. I think they should definitely get a chance with someone really hot.
09:40So hook them up, but just not with me. Shout out to that person, Alex Batty.
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