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Bedtime is the worst time. The kids get up and visit mom's bed every night. How was the bedtime routine in your house?
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00:00Hi, we're the Winters.
00:01I'm Kathy.
00:02I'm Tom Winter.
00:04We have five children.
00:06We have Kristen, who is 16.
00:08We have twin girls, Kayla and Erica.
00:10They're six.
00:12Tori, who is three, and Tommy, who is two.
00:15Let go.
00:16I feel like my head is going to explode sometimes
00:18when the kids are screaming, and I'm here by myself with them.
00:20Ow!
00:22Poppy, give up.
00:23Erica.
00:23Ow!
00:24Mommy!
00:26Kayla hit Erica, or vice versa.
00:28Erica and Kayla, stop!
00:30Tori is a screamer.
00:33Tommy, he's a strong-willed two-year-old.
00:36Ew!
00:37There's something that he wants, and it's in your hand.
00:39He's going to come up and bite you.
00:41Help me, baby.
00:43Ew!
00:45I'm actually Kristen's stepdad.
00:47You know, love that first sight, you know?
00:49And I feel like I'm Kristen's dad.
00:50I'm not arguing with you.
00:51You are.
00:52No, I'm not.
00:53I just dropped it.
00:54You kept going with it.
00:55We used to be best buddies.
00:57Now, it's all about her friends, you know, and going out.
01:00I don't like the friends that she hangs out with.
01:03I feel like Kristen's doing things behind my back.
01:04Nothing's wrong.
01:05Something's the matter.
01:06Mm-mm.
01:07She thinks that I'm not cool.
01:09And I told her, that's why your mom married me,
01:11because I was cool.
01:18I can't believe this man.
01:20I am a pre-K teacher, and I'm with children all day long.
01:24I bring Tori and Tommy to work with me every day.
01:27And then I come home, get Kayla and Erica off the bus,
01:31and then I start all over again.
01:32I go from one job to another.
01:35Don't bite me.
01:36Ew!
01:36Let's go.
01:37No!
01:39She comes home, we see each other for 15 minutes,
01:41and I'm off to work.
01:42All right, love yous.
01:44Bye.
01:45Good luck.
01:46I'm a restaurant manager.
01:47I work long hours at night.
01:51Yeah, I wish he could get some more day shifts,
01:53because I'm doing it all by myself.
01:55Bedtime is probably the worst time.
01:58Kayla and Erica sleep in their bed.
02:00Tori and Tommy, they each have their own room,
02:02but they sleep in my bed every night.
02:06Once we get into the room, it's probably at least
02:09another hour, sometimes two hours,
02:12before they actually go to sleep.
02:14Lay down.
02:15Lay down.
02:16Now!
02:17Lay down, now.
02:19I had kidney cancer, and I had my kidney removed two years ago,
02:23and I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.
02:26At night, I lay my head on the pillow, and I say,
02:29I don't know how I'm going to get up tomorrow
02:30and start this all over again.
02:32This lady has just recovered from kidney cancer
02:35and taken under all this stress.
02:37We need Supernanny's help a lot.
02:39We need Supernanny.
02:41I know you're tired, Mom and Dad,
02:42but don't throw the towel in yet, because I'm on my way.
02:56Hello.
02:56Hi, Jo.
02:57Hi, how are you?
02:58Welcome to our house.
02:59I was afraid of what she was going to say to me
03:02about what I've done with the kids so far.
03:05Nice to meet you, Tom.
03:06Hi, Tom.
03:07I think Jo's going to tear me up.
03:10Say hello.
03:10Mommy.
03:11Hello?
03:12Oh, I'm Tommy.
03:13And how old are you?
03:15I'm two.
03:16You're two.
03:17OK.
03:18What's your name?
03:19Tori.
03:20Tori.
03:21Should we respond?
03:21You're right, I'm...
03:23Hi, Tom.
03:23Hi, Tommy.
03:25Hi.
03:25Hi, Erica.
03:26Pleased to meet you.
03:27I'm Jo.
03:28And who's this?
03:29Kayla.
03:30Kayla, are you sure this is not Erica again?
03:32No.
03:33And we've got Preston, haven't we?
03:35Yes.
03:36Where's she?
03:37On a Sunday morning.
03:42Dad knocked on Kristen's bedroom door,
03:44and she was still sleeping.
03:46Can we just wake you up?
03:47Yeah.
03:48Sorry, that's why I'm so late.
03:50All right, all right, all right, OK.
03:51You out last night?
03:52Oh, for a little bit.
03:53Yeah, yeah.
03:56I met Kristen, and I know that her dad was worried
03:59about what she'd been up to the night before,
04:02and I just knew this was something
04:03that I would have to follow up on.
04:05Let's go.
04:08Come on.
04:08OK.
04:09You out.
04:10Go on, Tori.
04:12Speak to you later.
04:14You know, just say, hi, and then back to bed.
04:21What happened?
04:24Tori hit you.
04:25Hey.
04:26You don't put your hands on your brother.
04:28You understand?
04:28Uh-huh.
04:29No, I win.
04:31All right, you're in.
04:32All right, let's go.
04:33I could see that Dad was struggling with the kids,
04:35and I know he was about to go off to work.
04:37But I wanted to see exactly how he would deal
04:40with the kids on his own, so I sent Mom off on an errand.
04:44I have to go run some errands.
04:45I'll be back.
04:48Are you kidding me?
04:49No.
04:50Where are you going?
04:51I have to go do a few things.
04:52I'll be back.
04:53When are you going to be back?
04:55When I'm done with what I have to do.
04:57How long do you think you're going to be?
04:59I don't, whenever I'm done with what I'm doing.
05:01I'll be back.
05:02All right.
05:03All right.
05:04All right.
05:05Bye.
05:06Bye.
05:07Bye.
05:08Daddy.
05:09Be back soon.
05:10When I'm done.
05:11Daddy.
05:12All right.
05:13All right.
05:14All right.
05:15All right.
05:16All right.
05:17All right.
05:18All right, Tori.
05:19All right.
05:20All right.
05:21Kayla.
05:22Hi.
05:23Can you get out of there, Kayla, like that?
05:24You.
05:25Out of there.
05:26Can't do it.
05:27I want to run out of the house.
05:28Hey.
05:29Hey.
05:30Where'd you go?
05:31Where'd you go?
05:32For two minutes, she couldn't have even really got in the car and drove out of the driveway.
05:39What store are you going to?
05:41I couldn't believe this.
05:42Call me.
05:43Later on.
05:44Twenty minutes later, he's ringing her again.
05:45He's crying.
05:46You're all heady.
05:47They want something.
05:48Hurry up, please.
05:49Bye.
05:50Bye.
05:51Taz panics to be left with his own kids.
05:56I mean, he breaks a sweat.
05:57I'm all flustered.
05:58I'm red.
05:59I can see you broke a sweat.
06:00Yeah.
06:01I'm starting to get red.
06:02Dad was absolutely petrified to be left with his own children.
06:07Who are we?
06:09Does he get nervous?
06:10He sounds like he's nervous.
06:12Mom.
06:13I don't know.
06:14I guess so.
06:15I don't really talk to him, so...
06:16You're down?
06:17So, you buying groceries?
06:18For everybody on the block?
06:19I got you.
06:20Can I have that, please?
06:21Tori, do you see Daddy's face?
06:22I'm serious.
06:23Look at my face.
06:24Am I laughing?
06:25Tori.
06:26You're all going to get in trouble.
06:27Come here.
06:28So, what form of discipline do you use when they misbehave?
06:31I realise that to release the pressure from Mum, this Dad would have to learn how to take
06:46control so that he wasn't pacing around his own house like some security guard.
06:51My partner just came back in the door to help me out.
06:54The cavalry just came to save the day.
06:56Thank God you're home.
06:59Tommy.
07:01Let's talk.
07:02Once Mum came home, I had a good chance to be able to talk to Kristen about why her dad
07:07should be so suspicious of her actions.
07:10We just don't have conversations.
07:12I think I say, like, four sentences to him a day.
07:15That's it.
07:16Does he trust you?
07:18I don't think he trusts me.
07:20Because of what?
07:21I don't know.
07:22He just...
07:23Does he know any of your mates?
07:24Has he seen any of them?
07:25Does he know who you hang with?
07:27I mean, does he know where you go?
07:29Yeah, I tell them where I go and I'll tell them who's picking me up.
07:33Do you think he knows you?
07:35No.
07:36Like, I'm very mature and I don't think he sees it.
07:39All right.
07:40After talking to Kristen, I wanted to find out from Dad exactly how he felt.
07:45So I took him out into the backyard hoping to get more info.
07:48She was the first one, first child of my life.
07:53I would do anything for her.
07:55I got with Kathy when Kristen was three years old.
07:57I loved that at first sight.
07:59We were both, like, you know, peanut butter and jelly.
08:01Now we're the pinky and the thumb.
08:03So you really...you don't know what's going on in her head.
08:06I mean, that's the worry, right?
08:08You don't know where she's at.
08:09You don't know her.
08:10No, I don't.
08:11I don't want her to make a mistake right now.
08:14I don't know her friends, so I can't trust her friends.
08:18I mean, straight up as a father, what do you think she's doing?
08:20Maybe smoking weed and...
08:21Right.
08:22You know...
08:23So you think she might be smoking some pot, she might be drinking...
08:25Yeah, maybe...
08:26Smoking...
08:27You know, interacting and...
08:29So why she's having sex?
08:30She's drinking, she's smoking pot, all that kind of stuff.
08:32And that worries me.
08:34The problem is, as his daughter's become a teenager,
08:36he's sitting there thinking, was she hiding?
08:38He's thinking the worst.
08:40We're losing each other.
08:42We're going to be lost.
08:48I think it's very common for every father to worry about their daughter.
08:52The fact is, if Tommy doesn't speak to Kristen,
08:54the distance is just going to grow and grow.
09:03Daddy kiss, goodbye.
09:04Daddy kiss, he's got to go to work.
09:05My work schedule is from 4pm to 3am.
09:08I feel bad because she's always with kids and, you know, she never gets a break.
09:12Good night.
09:13I'll call you later.
09:14All right.
09:15All right.
09:16After Doug went to work, I really got a chance to see exactly how much Mom has to deal with.
09:19Mommy!
09:21It's time to go take a bath.
09:23No!
09:24I dread bath time.
09:26Stop!
09:27It's everybody screaming at the same time.
09:32Help!
09:33It's Tommy and Tori jumping off the side of the tub.
09:38Tori!
09:39It's Erica and Kayla kicking each other.
09:43Kayla!
09:44Erica!
09:45Tommy, get down.
09:46Help, Tommy!
09:47It's just mass chaos.
09:49Tommy, get down.
09:50Tommy jumps up on that ledge and he likes to jump off and it's highly dangerous.
09:56Give me heart attack here.
09:57Tommy!
09:58It's a very stressful, highly charged situation for Kathy.
09:59I'm not laughing.
10:00That's how you're going to crack your head open.
10:01You know, little Tommy was the biggest problem at bath times because he was doing the most
10:14dangerous of things even though he was having fun.
10:16It was an issue.
10:17Let's go.
10:18Bath time is crazy.
10:21Tori!
10:24Tori!
10:27Tori!
10:28Where's this one going?
10:32Mount Everest?
10:33Between bath and bedtime, it's probably one of the most stressful times for any parent.
10:39Three times I've said your name.
10:41Because it's when kids are teasy, they're really at the end of their day, everything's
10:45wearing thin.
10:46Get up.
10:47I told you no.
10:48Mum really got fed up with Tori's little antics and set her on the naughty step for time
10:57out.
10:58Sit down!
10:59Get on the step, Tori.
11:00No!
11:01She holds Tori down on the step, which is a no-no.
11:02I mean, it's a real common mistake.
11:03Sit down and don't move!
11:04You need to go back to that step where I put you.
11:17And I'm doing green.
11:18Ow!
11:19Ow!
11:20No fighting!
11:21Do you hear me?
11:22You don't fight!
11:23There was fireworks going all over the place, and Mum decided that she was going to do two
11:38timeouts.
11:39Tommy and Tori in their bedrooms.
11:40And Tori was just kicking that door open.
11:50Mum was holding the door to keep Tori in, but then little Tommy would come out, and then
11:55she'd go and put little Tommy back, and Tori had come out.
11:58Close it!
11:59Get in and close it.
12:02Get in and close it.
12:03I mean, it was crazy.
12:04Get in the room.
12:07Stop!
12:08I didn't tell you to come out.
12:11I have no control.
12:13Are you going to stop?
12:14Bye.
12:15Now you stay in there.
12:20In your room.
12:26So it's gone 8 o'clock, the kids are riled up, and Mum decides that she's going to put
12:32the kids to bed.
12:33Good luck.
12:34Bye!
12:35Five!
12:36Four!
12:37You're going to be sorry if I get to one.
12:40Bedtime in my house, Kayla and Erica sleep in their beds.
12:43They're very good about that.
12:45Get up in the bed.
12:46Tori and Tommy will not go in their room.
12:48They will not sleep in their beds.
12:50They sleep in my bed every night.
12:52Stop.
12:53Stop!
12:54These parents have not taken into consideration the importance of the children sleeping in
13:00their own bedrooms, let alone in their own beds.
13:02It is time to go to bed.
13:03No, no to bed.
13:04Ow!
13:05It usually lasts for about an hour to an hour and a half that I have to keep telling them
13:10to lay down and go to sleep.
13:13It is time to go to bed.
13:14No, no!
13:15It was getting late, and I'd seen all I needed to see.
13:16It was time to go.
13:17Tomorrow morning, family meeting.
13:18Okay.
13:19Okay, so we can deal with all of this.
13:20Okay.
13:21All right?
13:22I'm going to let you go and do that.
13:23Okay, okay.
13:24Good night.
13:25I need my bed back.
13:26I need to get my sleep, and I think that they need to get their sleep too.
13:39It's just ridiculous.
13:40It really is.
13:41I can't wait to get in here tomorrow morning to start and change stuff for this lady.
13:44Watching the pair of you yesterday and observing your family, I realize that I am very much
14:05needed here.
14:06I want to talk firstly about yourself, Cathy.
14:11You have been through tremendous ups and downs with your journey, your illness of having
14:17kidney cancer.
14:18Just that alone is indescribable.
14:22That's no walk in the park.
14:26You are the backbone of this family.
14:28You're nodding your head there, Tommy.
14:31Tell me what you're nodding your head for.
14:33She is.
14:34She keeps us the glue that keeps us together.
14:37But then how much can she possibly do by herself?
14:40Seriously, Tom.
14:41You know, let's talk about yourself here.
14:44What are you doing?
14:45What are you doing to support your wife?
14:48What are you doing to support your family?
14:51What are you doing with regards to making sure that Cathy's life is easier?
14:58Tell him what you want to tell him.
15:04You know what?
15:05Here's the time.
15:06Tell him what you're feeling inside.
15:08Just that I need more help.
15:10I'm here to help you, honey.
15:14OK.
15:15Let's talk about bath time.
15:19Oh, my God, bath time.
15:22It's such a chaotic time, you know?
15:25And I just feel that you make a rod for your own back.
15:28You've got four in the tub.
15:29I mean, it's going to be hectic with four in the tub.
15:32You're causing drama where it's not necessary.
15:34Bath time should be fun.
15:36So let's work on that, please.
15:38OK.
15:39Because that kind of bath time is fun for the kids, but it's dangerous.
15:42It's a highly charged situation.
15:45Yeah.
15:46And then we go into bedtime.
15:48Let's get real here.
15:50These kids need to be sleeping in their own beds.
15:54Especially for Tommy, this is something he's getting used to.
15:57He kept climbing out of his crib.
15:59As you have got him a little bed,
16:02then that's what he needs to learn to sleep in.
16:05You know, it's all about him recognising it's his bed in his room.
16:10Let's talk about your relationship with Kristen.
16:15Where do I begin?
16:18You don't trust her.
16:19No.
16:20You don't trust her.
16:22You think she's hanging around with the wrong crowd.
16:24You think she's stupid.
16:26You think she's going to get herself knocked up and pregnant.
16:29You think that she's not capable of being able to read between the lines.
16:33In other words, you know what you were like yourself at 17, 18.
16:37Right?
16:40You've got to trust her that she has the savvy and the knowledge
16:43to work out the difference between smart moves and not such smart moves.
16:47Well, any time a boy comes over his house, I think it's a boyfriend.
16:53It can't be just a friend.
16:54I think it's someone that she's interested in.
16:57Maybe so.
16:58Maybe it is somebody she's interested in.
17:02But, like, get to know her friends.
17:04Like, give her the chance to be able to feel like she can invite her friends round.
17:07Gives you a chance to be able to get to know her friends too, right?
17:11Mm-hm.
17:12OK.
17:13I know that I can put techniques in your house that can change the circumstances,
17:16but I need two parents who are willing to muscle through the hard work
17:20that it's going to take in the beginning.
17:22There's no two ways about it.
17:24It's going to be challenging.
17:25It's going to be hard work in the beginning.
17:27But the results will be dramatic.
17:31So when do we start?
17:32Mm.
17:33Right now?
17:34All right, let's go then.
17:42When teaching began, my priority was to make sure Dad understood discipline,
17:47to take the pressure off her mum.
17:49Hello.
17:50Hello.
17:51Hiya.
17:52There was no doubt in my mind, as soon as I could put discipline in that house,
17:56as quick as possible, that we were going to be using it.
17:59And it's exactly what happened.
18:00You give them eye contact and you come down to their height.
18:04This is not about intimidating our child.
18:06This is about making sure you teach your children values here.
18:11I didn't think it was going to work for us.
18:13I was a non-believer.
18:15If my kids aren't going to listen, they're not going to do it.
18:19I could tell that Dad wasn't feeling very confident about whether he could do discipline or not.
18:25But you know, Tori played up and Dad got to see for himself.
18:29Now, you're going to go on the naughty step and if you stop crying, you can come off.
18:39But until then, you stay right there until Daddy comes and gets you.
18:43Do you understand me?
18:44Explain.
18:46Tori, look at me.
18:47Just talk.
18:48You'll get off the step when you learn how to share with Tommy.
18:51Do you understand?
18:52No.
18:53What is it that she did wrong?
18:54You were screaming and you wanted to take everything.
18:57That's why you're on this step.
18:58That's why you're on this step.
18:59Right, move on.
19:01He struggled doing that.
19:03He looked back every time he placed her there.
19:07He felt bad.
19:09Right, that screaming's got you like that, hasn't it?
19:11Mm-hmm.
19:12Why?
19:13Because I feel like she's in trouble, hurt.
19:17This isn't about Tom.
19:19This is about his duty as a father and supporting his wife.
19:23And I wanted to stop him screaming.
19:25You feel like she's in trouble, she's hurt?
19:26Mm-hmm.
19:27OK.
19:28Right, come with me.
19:29So I grabbed him by the hand and we walked around by the stairwell.
19:32There she was.
19:33She watched us.
19:34And then he realised, no, that she's all right.
19:37Is she hurt?
19:38No.
19:39Huh?
19:40Nope.
19:41Did you see that with your own eyes?
19:42Yep.
19:43All right, rest yourself.
19:44OK.
19:45If Dad's to carry his share of the load, then he needs to realise
19:48that it doesn't matter how many times he puts his kids into timeout,
19:52they're not psychologically going to be scarred.
19:54OK, you go back, you explain again why you placed her on the step
19:58and then say, I want you to tell me you're sorry.
20:01OK?
20:02Hugs and kisses.
20:03And I'm going to apologise to Tommy, OK?
20:05Hugs and kisses and then she apologises to Tommy afterwards.
20:07OK.
20:08Tori did not...
20:09She did not win.
20:10We won the battle by putting Tori on the naughty step.
20:13Do you know why Daddy put you on the step?
20:15You tell her.
20:16Daddy put you on the step because you didn't want to share with Tommy.
20:19Tell Daddy you're sorry.
20:20No.
20:21No.
20:22I love you too.
20:23Hugs and kisses?
20:24Hugs and kisses?
20:25Hugs and kisses?
20:26Cuddles?
20:27Cuddles me?
20:31Now that Dad's ability to discipline has improved,
20:34I wanted to see if we could improve his relationship with his daughter,
20:37Kristen.
20:38Let's just say it how it is.
20:39You guys have not been talking, so what was the first hurdle?
20:43Boys.
20:45It's always been a problem.
20:46What, that she looks at him?
20:47Yeah.
20:48Why?
20:49I just don't think any boy's good enough.
20:54I think that my Dad doesn't know how to accept the fact that I'm growing up.
20:58She went from being...
20:59I think I grew up really quickly.
21:01...a little girl to being this beautiful young woman now.
21:05And I...
21:06It's hard for me to cope with that.
21:10You know, I got this picture.
21:12I brought down a picture with a smile.
21:15She...
21:16She used to have on her face all the time.
21:18That smile.
21:20I went back on your face.
21:21I have that smile.
21:22And back on my face.
21:24You know, when we see each other.
21:26Every morning, you used to wake up like that.
21:30I still do.
21:33Maybe I'm just missing it.
21:34So, what does Dad need to learn to do so that you feel that you can come to him again?
21:42I just want you to listen to me.
21:45And listen to my opinions and see how I see things sometimes.
21:49What do you want from me?
21:51I would like some of your time.
21:54Some time for us.
21:56I'm willing to put a hundred in.
21:58Okay. Me too.
21:59So, I'll tell you what we'll do.
22:00Why don't we give your Dad a chance to meet some of your mates tomorrow.
22:10The talk of Kristen was great, you know.
22:13It should have been done a long time ago.
22:15My love.
22:20You know, it just made me feel good.
22:22It made my heart feel good.
22:23It made her feel good.
22:25You can't talk to me any time.
22:26Yeah.
22:27Okay.
22:32Hey guys.
22:33How are you?
22:34Kristen's friends came around and it gave Dad an opportunity to meet them.
22:38He's had definitely assumptions about what they may look like and what they may be into.
22:44Tom, this is Marie and this is Muse.
22:47Nice to meet you.
22:48That's James and that's Chelsea.
22:50I'm excited.
22:51I'm nervous, you know.
22:52Hopefully I don't make Kristen embarrassed and I don't look dorky to her friends.
22:57No, I'll go meet some of the people that just walked down.
23:00Small people walked down.
23:02I wanted to size them up but anxious because I wanted to see what boy that she talks to more than, you know, the other one.
23:11This is Cameron and this is Wesley.
23:15What's up?
23:16The reason, like, I don't bring the guys over to my house that much is because of my Dad.
23:20When I have guys come over to my house, the only way they can stay at my house is if you can walk it out.
23:30If you can't walk it out, you can't stay in my house.
23:33Why?
23:35I can do it.
23:36I want to see what you got.
23:38I'm old school.
23:39I used to be like this.
23:42Let's see what you got.
23:43You can just kick it old school.
23:44I'll give you guys a pass this time next time you come here.
23:46When my Dad started popping whenever he was doing, they were enjoying it.
23:51It probably felt cool too.
23:58Once Tom spent time with Kristen's friends, I think he realized himself they're not a bad bunch.
24:02They're intelligent.
24:03They come from good homes just like his own daughter.
24:07Thank you, sweetie.
24:08I was very wrong about Kristen's friends.
24:11No problem.
24:12Look forward to seeing you in the future.
24:14Yeah.
24:15He'll walk it out.
24:17All right.
24:18I'll see you then.
24:20It's important for every parent to get to know their teenage children's friends.
24:27I think it was good because they do get along with my parents.
24:30They can trust them.
24:31Mum's absolutely exhausted and it's going to be important for me to pace her throughout the time that I've got with her.
24:47Tommy's bath time and bedtime is an issue.
24:49It needs to be addressed.
24:50I've brought in some little bath toys for him to play with.
24:53Okay.
24:54We're going to run his bath.
24:55Put in some toys.
24:56Let him have some fun.
24:57Then I want you to give him the countdown.
24:59All right?
25:00Just say to him, in ten minutes, we're going to be getting out of the bath.
25:02Okay, Tommy?
25:03Okay.
25:04And then in five minutes and then a couple of minutes and then, right, let's tidy up all the toys.
25:09Tommy's the ringleader when it comes to all the wild play at bath time.
25:13So if she can get him just to settle down a little bit, the rest will follow.
25:18Come on, bring the dinosaur in the bathtub.
25:20He wants to go swimming.
25:21Okay.
25:22You put him in there.
25:23See that bag of treats?
25:24See that bag of treats?
25:25Say, look what I've got.
25:26Tip him up high into the bath.
25:30Sometimes when kids don't want to get into the bath, using toys to lure them in, certainly effective.
25:39Okay, pick up the dinosaur and just throw it in.
25:45That's it.
25:46And he goes.
25:47And once the dinosaur went in the bath for a wash, Tommy followed.
25:50Keep the water running like you normally do.
25:55He started to wash himself and then he started to wash dinosaur and he was into the whole bath time scene.
26:00And, you know, that brought a lot of peace to mum.
26:03Can you wash your body for me?
26:05I think it's healthier for the children to be able to have that space.
26:09It's healthier for me.
26:11It's more of a time where I could just sit back and enjoy the kids and watch them play and see the smiles on their face.
26:18Can you clean up those toys and put them in the bag for mommy and pull the plug on the tub?
26:22And they're part of the process of ending the bath time, pulling the plug and letting the water out.
26:27Bye bye, Walter.
26:28And saying goodbye to the water and putting the toys away.
26:31It's helpful to them and it's helpful to me.
26:34Oh, you got it.
26:35Very good.
26:37After bath time, the next step was to teach mum how to get Tommy to sleep in his own bedroom.
26:46Once you've read him a book, we're going to place him into his bed.
26:51OK?
26:52And we're going to sit on a little chair adjacent to his bed.
26:55OK.
26:56All right?
26:57And you're just going to turn away so you're not actually looking at him.
26:59OK.
27:00All right?
27:01If he gets out of his bed, I want you to place him back into his bed.
27:04OK.
27:05OK?
27:06And I want you to keep putting him back into his bed until he stays in his bed.
27:09OK.
27:10OK?
27:11I don't think Tommy is going to go down quietly, but at the same time, it's going to allow him
27:16to realize the importance of sleeping in his own bed.
27:19Oh, look.
27:20Now they're cleaning the dishes.
27:21I wasn't nervous.
27:22I was, oh, how long is it going to take?
27:24And am I going to be strong enough to keep putting him back in the bed?
27:28Mommy!
27:29The book is over.
27:30And it's time for Tommy to go night-night.
27:33Turn the light off.
27:34Turn the light off.
27:35Turn the light off.
27:36Turn the light off.
27:37Turn the light off.
27:38You're going to sit on the chair.
27:39And when he gets out of his bed, you're just going to say nothing but place him back
27:40into his bed.
27:41OK.
27:42Because Tommy's never slept in his bedroom before, it was important for me to use the sleep
27:49separation technique so that he would feel secure with her still being in the room.
27:52Turn around.
27:53Turn around.
27:54That way.
27:55OK.
27:56When he gets out of his bed, I'm going to place him back into his bed.
27:59Daddy!
28:00Daddy!
28:01Daddy!
28:02Daddy!
28:03Daddy!
28:04Daddy!
28:05Daddy!
28:19Daddy!
28:20Daddy!
28:21You know, it was a little bit difficult for me to do it.
28:51To not be able to look at him or say, you know, it's time to go to bed.
28:55Corey, keep going because he's calling you for that bed.
29:20Good job.
29:21Very good, Tom.
29:23I'm so sorry.
29:25This is what you have to go through every night.
29:27I feel so bad for you.
29:28She looked pretty good when she came down the stairs.
29:30She didn't look as stressed as, you know, we usually would have been.
29:33You're a bloody dropper, girl.
29:35So, I'm going to be going away for several days.
29:43Okay.
29:43I want you guys to continue using the techniques that you've been taught.
29:47I'm afraid that I'm going to resort back to my old ways instead of, you know, calmly handling the situation.
29:53Also, what I would like to see is the bedtime routines continued.
29:58My biggest challenge is to stay with everything that Joe taught me, you know.
30:02And I'll see you when I get back.
30:03Okay.
30:03All right?
30:04Take care.
30:04Bye.
30:05Bye.
30:05Bye.
30:12So, three days away.
30:14Dad had a day off.
30:16Did he do his share?
30:17I can't wait to find out.
30:19Hiya.
30:20Hi.
30:21Oh, I could hear a pin drop.
30:25The anticipation.
30:26Mm-hmm.
30:27The first clip we're going to take a look at is bedtime.
30:31And I'm very eager to see bedtime with you guys.
30:35Keep it on my dress up.
30:36Take it.
30:36Keep it on my dress up.
30:40Night, night.
30:42Night.
30:43Night time.
30:44Night.
30:47Night, night.
30:51Night, night, night.
30:53Night, night, night.
31:01I started to put Tori and Tommy down by a little after seven, and it's 8.15 now.
31:06It's taken me a little over an hour to get them both down.
31:09It's fantastic.
31:10Never thought it would happen.
31:13That's a major, major difference.
31:16Yeah.
31:16You spent an hour doing it, you went through the steps, they bantered a little bit, and
31:22they went down, you know?
31:24And it just goes to show you that as soon as the steps are done, you leave them no option
31:28but to realise, okay, go to bed now.
31:31You guys have really done this very, very well, and you can see how quickly, you know, that
31:37that has worked, you know, which is amazing.
31:38So, what we're going to take a look at here now is the naughty step.
31:42Let's take a look.
31:43Why is the refrigerator open, Erica?
31:49Go close the refrigerator, please.
31:53I was the one who opened it, Tori did.
31:55You were the last one in there.
31:57Go close the refrigerator, please.
31:59No.
32:00I'm going to give you one more chance, and then you're going to go sit.
32:05Mom!
32:06Mom!
32:07Mom!
32:08I'm going to close it.
32:09Too late.
32:10Mom!
32:11Mom!
32:12Mom!
32:13Mom!
32:14Mom!
32:15Mom!
32:16Mom!
32:17I'm going to close it.
32:18Too late.
32:19Mom!
32:20Mom!
32:28Why did I put you on the step?
32:30Because I want to shut the refrigerator.
32:34And why couldn't you just shut the refrigerator, like I asked you to?
32:38Why did you have to stare me down?
32:40Because I didn't open it.
32:42But you were the last one in it.
32:45So you see, you set yourself up there.
32:47You put her on the step, and what didn't you do?
32:49Was I supposed to say something to her?
32:51When you place them on the step, you explain to the child why you've got them on the step.
32:55Okay.
32:56I thought it was after.
32:57You do that after as well.
32:58Okay.
32:59Yeah.
33:00Okay, so this clip is the last clip.
33:02Erica, Kayla, and Tori, you don't hit.
33:07That is not nice.
33:09Come over here.
33:10Look at me.
33:11Well, while you're waiting, instead of fighting with each other, go play something.
33:15She slept.
33:18I just, I need to work on my tone with them.
33:21I know that I do.
33:22Do you feel like you're not able to control the kids?
33:25You feel like they're not listening to you and doing as they're told?
33:28So you start to panic.
33:29Because you feel, am I going to be in a place where, you know, I've got no control.
33:32They're not going to be listening to me and not going to be doing as they're told.
33:35It's like, let go of it.
33:37Yeah.
33:38Let go, let go of it.
33:40So what I'd like to concentrate on for this return here is the naughty step and just going
33:47over the steps again.
33:48Yeah.
33:49Certainly volume and tone of voice.
33:52Okay.
33:53So let's get back to work because I've got two busy bees who've done a good job so far
33:58and I'm eager to stop.
34:01After seeing in reinforcement how difficult it still was for the parents to do the naughty
34:07step, I felt it was important to put a chart up there to remind them.
34:11Warnings.
34:12Low tone voice, eye contact, come down to the kid's height.
34:15Explain.
34:16Always explain.
34:17They need to know why.
34:18If they don't know why, then they can't change it.
34:19They can't stop.
34:20Okay.
34:21Okay.
34:22So explain why.
34:23Set the timer.
34:24Make sure they do their time.
34:25If they get up, you place them back and set the timer again.
34:28When they've done their time, you explain again.
34:30Okay.
34:31Okay.
34:32Hugs and kisses.
34:33We're not holding any grudges here.
34:34That's why we do hugs and kisses.
34:35Okay.
34:36Because it's about them learning the value of being accountable and responsible for
34:39their actions.
34:40Okay.
34:41I need to work on my patience the most is, you know, having the patience with the kids
34:45and understanding that they're kids.
34:47Hugs and kisses.
34:48All right.
34:49Quick as they can.
34:50After we finished going over the technique, I saw that Erica was refusing to eat her last
34:56few bites.
34:57Here's your plate.
34:58Take Daddy's seat right here.
35:00All right.
35:01You got two choices.
35:02You got no choice.
35:03Now you go back on the step because you're not listening to nobody.
35:05Give her a warning.
35:06If you don't sit down, you're going to go on the step.
35:09This is your warning.
35:10You sit down on the chair and you get on with eating your dinner and you listen to Daddy.
35:14Any nonsense out of you right now, you'll be going straight on that step.
35:18Do you understand me?
35:19Right.
35:20Then do as you're told.
35:21Erica was having none of it.
35:22It was going nowhere.
35:23Time for the naughty step.
35:24You were told to do something and now you're going on.
35:27Remember the steps.
35:28Because you didn't do.
35:29Remember the steps.
35:30Take it to the step and then explain.
35:31It's all there for you.
35:33Don't talk.
35:34It's all there for you.
35:35Erica.
35:37You were told that you needed to eat some of your dinner.
35:40No, sit her up.
35:41Sit her up.
35:42She's being disrespectful right now.
35:44Sit up.
35:45Sit up.
35:46This is her.
35:47This is her being babyish.
35:48Stop this right now.
35:54Now just hold her there and then just tell her.
35:56I wasn't doing the naughty step the correct way.
35:59And if I'm not doing it the correct way, you know, it's not going to work.
36:03Erica, you put on the step because you were told to eat.
36:06And you're not eating.
36:07I already ate.
36:08My way.
36:09Come away.
36:10Come away.
36:11She's acting babyish.
36:13Finally, Erica stayed there for seven minutes.
36:16Erica, come down here.
36:19Erica.
36:20Come down here, please.
36:22So the next step was to explain why she'd been put on there in the first place.
36:26Sit up over here.
36:30When I went to the step to speak to Erica and let her off the step,
36:35she was crying and wouldn't look up at me.
36:38Erica, you will put on the step because you weren't eating.
36:41OK?
36:42I ate everybody.
36:43Didn't you see me eating my first place?
36:45OK.
36:46Come here.
36:47OK.
36:48Come here.
36:49After Erica understood what she did, it was time for hugs and kisses.
36:53You need to apologise to Mum for not listening and doing as you were told.
36:59Sorry!
37:00So come down, eat your three pieces, and then let's call it a day.
37:06I hate the naughty step.
37:07You guys say goodbye to JoJo.
37:08You've been amazing.
37:09Seriously.
37:10Bye, Dad!
37:11The Winter family are starting to get it, which is fantastic.
37:24Tom is being more supportive of Cathy, and he's connecting more with Kristin.
37:29Do you have to leave us?
37:30I'm going to miss you.
37:31Oh, thank you so much.
37:33Joe has been a big influence.
37:34She broke me down.
37:35She showed me that you don't have to be a tough guy.
37:36You don't have to be a, you know, silly man.
37:37You know, just be you.
37:38Bye-bye.
37:39Bye-bye.
37:40Bye-bye.
37:41Bye-bye.
37:42I'm very sad that Joe is leaving us.
37:44She's just done such a terrific job with helping us get the family back in order again.
38:05I'm disappointed that she has to leave so soon.
38:08Take care of yourself.
38:10Yeah, it's okay.
38:11I think things are definitely getting better between me and my dad.
38:15Bye-bye, sweetie.
38:17I think we'll be a really happy family soon.
38:20Take care.
38:23Bye-bye.
38:25There's still more work for the Winter family to do, but I believe I've given them the tools
38:28to make them a much stronger family so that they're tighter as a whole.
38:38Bye.
38:39Bye-bye.
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