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It’s Time to Check In for Your D.E. Eye Exam
The New Yorker
Follow
2 days ago
This vision test is far from routine—don’t forget that racism starts in the retinas.
Category
🛠️
Lifestyle
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
Hi I'm here for my exam. Hi I'm Dr. Black. Have a seat. What seems to be the problem?
00:09
Oh no problem just a routine eye exam. Before we get started I should let you
00:13
know I'm not a regular physician. I'm a little special. Have you heard of DEI?
00:18
Kind of. It's been in the news. Yeah it's really topical right now. Well I'm a DEI
00:22
doctor. What? A DEI doctor. It's like a regular doctor but you know. No. Whatever
00:31
it means to you. Should I not be here right now? Oh no. The question is should I
00:37
not be here? Where did you go to medical school? Harvard obviously. Cum Laude. But
00:42
I may or may not have taken the spot from a more deserving white person. Let's just
00:46
get to the eye exam. DEI exam. I'm just gonna show you a few images here. Go
00:52
ahead and read the letters on the board for me. B. L. A. C. Black lives matter. Yes
00:59
yes they do. Next. I. M. Y. T. Yes you are and don't forget it. One or two? One. All right. Who's
01:08
more qualified to be a commercial airline pilot Teresa or Jack? Teresa or Jack? They
01:18
both look perfectly qualified. Do they now? Even though that's Teresa
01:21
Claiborne the first female African American pilot in the United States Air
01:25
Force but I'm sure they're both equally qualified. I didn't know that that's kind
01:28
of cool. Who's more deserving of a promotion Winston or Michael? How could I
01:32
how could I know that? I said Michael or Winston? Well Winston's asleep so it's not
01:39
because he's white but Michael. Winston's asleep because he was up all night doing
01:44
the work that Michael didn't finish because he was out parasailing or whatever you
01:47
people. If I had the contacts. So the company's downsizing and somebody's got to be let go.
01:50
Who's it gonna be?
01:52
I'm not with HR and I don't want to fire anybody but I just gave the big promotion to the last
02:01
white guy so I will choose this white guy. Of course interesting you said guy when it's
02:06
actually Amy who provides for her entire family including her deadbeat husband Jeff and all their
02:12
special needs kids. Oh come on I thought this was a vision test. It's about your vision for the future
02:18
of this country okay racism starts in the retinas remember that. You're right I'm sorry I will do
02:25
better. You know you actually didn't do that bad your vision hasn't changed much at all yeah I just
02:29
have one more question for you here which of these should I put on my dating profile?
02:34
Definitely the second one. That's what I was thinking too I thought so yeah
02:38
You look really good now. Thank you so much okay amazing. Okay let's give you your prescription right
02:43
there you go. This is just a Groupon to a hookah lounge? Yeah I DJ there on Wednesdays. Make sure
02:49
you mention my name DJ Dr. Black and you get free water. Cool I love hookah. Just one water though.
02:54
All right get out. So and rate me good on ZocDoc.
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