- 14/07/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I've only turned to Corners since she left.
00:29Teaching's going great.
00:30I'm positive, so the kids are positive.
00:33Wow.
00:33Well, I mean, it's only been six weeks,
00:35but I really am sorry that I didn't come out here earlier.
00:38New York must be a pretty lonely place, I bet.
00:41Probably, but I'm in Boston.
00:42I might apply for Deputy Head.
00:44He hasn't replaced you, so why not, eh?
00:46A man can dream.
00:47You hate teaching.
00:48The Head's more likely to appoint a B.
00:50Anyway, Dan, look, it's gone four in the morning here in Boston.
00:53Should have said.
00:54I did, I do, every time you call.
00:56And I assume that they still do the Friday 9 o'clock meeting?
00:59Yes, and?
01:00It's ten past nine.
01:01I know.
01:02I can see the Head arriving late from here.
01:04Oi!
01:06Yeah, you tardy bugger!
01:08Time did you call this?
01:10You fucking knob!
01:12You are!
01:14Oh, he's good as gold.
01:15There with me.
01:16Right, you're clearly still in your bed at your mum's house.
01:18You're probably in your pants.
01:20And do you know how I know that?
01:21Because the last time I was there, I stared at that tiser stain on your ceiling for four hours while you lay next to me and snored.
01:26Emma.
01:27Goodbye, Dan.
01:28Emma!
01:33Daniel, you're late.
01:34I need to get these windows open.
01:36Oh, dear.
01:36The whiff you create.
01:38Get out of my room, old woman.
01:39You can't wear those again.
01:40I can do what I like.
01:42Should I get another pail of cold water?
01:43Get your trousers on, boy.
01:46We don't want to see your messy rabbit.
01:48Good God, the stench in here is like a puffed boil.
01:50I don't want to see your messy rabbit.
01:51I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:52I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:53I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:54I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:55I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:56I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:57I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:58I don't want to see your rabbit.
01:59I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:00I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:01I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:02I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:03I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:04I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:05I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:06I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:07I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:08I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:09I don't want to see your rabbit.
02:10and clearly our graffiti artist is back
02:23so should you hear anything about their identity
02:27or indeed if you spot a member of staff licking a dog's bulb
02:30let me know
02:32seriously though let's get this kid caught
02:35doesn't look good for visitors
02:37now then happier matters
02:40teacher of the week
02:42who gets a handful of headmaster's jelly treats this friday
02:46I think you all know who it won't be
02:48so for her wonderful young enterprise event on
02:54on Wednesday afternoon
03:12miss shaman
03:13okay have a great weekend
03:17mr. Davis there's a note I don't want you to miss in your pigeonhole
03:23my
03:24whoa
03:25those are new aren't they
03:28headmaster
03:40headmaster
03:43hey little mouse
03:50you dropped your sweetie
03:52oh sorry mr. Blackover
03:54wait so later
03:56you know what the sweetie on the floor attracts
03:59um the fox
04:02you know what a fully grown fox is capable of
04:06oh god
04:10dump drop sweetie on my floor
04:13and make little little mouse
04:16women
04:23they are messy
04:27it's a disciplinary hearing sir
04:35about time
04:37you might just want to talk to me about the drama budget no
04:39he doesn't give a shit about drama
04:40I heard him say
04:41it's the same like he gave mr. Callaghan before he got sacked
04:44Callaghan tried to sell a boy in France what have I done
04:47you're always late
04:47set fire to robbing his hair
04:49you're like carrying in the cupboard
04:49I think it's when you got us drunk sir
04:51I didn't get you drunk you stole that from my office
04:53and a whole class shouldn't be able to get hammered on one box of wine
04:56it's pathetic
04:56shame his lipsy isn't here to bail you out anymore
04:59shame you're never going to get married
05:00says the man who lives with two old ladies
05:03your mum's got a new boyfriend now hasn't she
05:05no
05:05she has us all been playing bowls together
05:08oh well they must be banging then mustn't they
05:09grow up
05:10right
05:11go on get on with your work I need to think
05:13what work
05:14make up a play
05:14about what
05:15I don't know
05:17homelessness
05:17AIDS
05:18whatever
05:18what I get
05:21I'm gonna be a ninja
05:23with AIDS
05:24you don't have a father joe
05:27I just decided to be pregnant
05:29and I was
05:31so
05:33you're capable of
05:35yes
05:35I can self-fertilise
05:38I saw no reason to doubt her
05:41so I never asked about dad again
05:43joe
05:45no one is going to buy your autobiography
05:48why is it blank halfway through
05:50I'm not dead yet am I
05:52anyone who buys a book can come to me in the future
05:54and I'll write the next bit in
05:55you're insane
05:56tash
05:58what's this letter
05:59how should I know
06:01you're a bloody school governor
06:02I'm heading up the digitisation of school files
06:04I have nothing to do with staff matters
06:06and even if I did I wouldn't get involved
06:08it's called conflict of interest
06:10I pretend to know what Brian was talking about by nodding hard
06:13when are you next in
06:14you've got other people in my personal file tell me what I've done
06:17I'm in school tomorrow
06:18Saturday
06:18yes
06:19everyone has their guilty pleasures
06:21mine happens to be data entry
06:23but I'm not going to be divulging any information from your file
06:25here I'm your mate
06:27sure I am
06:28but as soon as I step over that threshold
06:30I'm governor Ames
06:31good day
06:32he's almost done it hasn't he
06:37just like he said he would
06:38since Julia left
06:39he's almost become 100% pure Brian
06:41it's chilling
06:42I thought you hated teaching
06:43I hate my cock and balls joe
06:45shall I snap them off
06:46my job's all I've got left
06:48listen
06:48if there's a file with all the bad stuff in it
06:50why don't you just get rid of it
06:52they can't sack you without evidence
06:54joe smiled
06:57she realised she'd said a really great thing
06:59for inspiration
07:02yeah I wouldn't bother
07:04it's fucking shit
07:05oh you're getting slow old girl
07:23you see my laptop
07:24I need to Skype Emma
07:25stop phoning her in the middle of the night
07:28you're like a horny mongrel Daniel
07:30I need to ask her advice
07:31I've been called in by the head
07:35what you can't afford to lose your job Daniel
07:37I mean technically you're almost homeless
07:40you're not far from being a giant human rat
07:42and you know what we do with rats
07:43yes I get the message
07:45shoot them in the mouth
07:46don't tell mum
07:47she hasn't brought that bloke home
07:52it's been a long time Daniel
07:54and your mother has needs
07:56she can't spend all her free time
07:57in the en suite
07:58thumbing her pudding
07:59oh come on
08:00Lester we were just
08:02oh Daniel
08:04you're home early
08:05aren't I
08:06this is my son
08:07Daniel
08:08this is dadalus
08:10but everybody calls him daddy
08:12not everyone
08:13hello lad
08:14he's in trouble at work
08:15Polly
08:16Nester
08:16oh Daniel
08:17teaching's all you've got
08:19now Emma's left
08:20Emma?
08:21who's Emma?
08:22his old boss
08:22silly boy should have squired her
08:24but no
08:24he let her slip through his fat fingers
08:26there was that one night
08:27before she left
08:28do you mind?
08:29a goodbye knee trembler
08:30before leaving the country
08:32that's hardly a solid foundation
08:33for God's sake
08:34he's got no money
08:36no children
08:37probably a jaffer
08:38never even had a scare
08:39he hasn't
08:40lack of testosterone
08:41his armpits are bald
08:42and now
08:42no job
08:43right
08:45thanks for that
08:46you shih tzu faced hags
08:47if you'll excuse me
08:49dadalus
08:51dadalus
08:51hmm
08:54unusual a young man
08:55talking to his elders
08:56like that
08:57in my day
08:57he'd have felt the hairy side
08:59but
08:59not my business
09:01I'll put the kettle on
09:04oh no
09:07I wouldn't have that at all
09:10Mr. Clackoff
09:16what do you do at school
09:19you forget
09:20it's Saturday
09:21like a stupid kid
09:23hey
09:24pigeon brain
09:25it's Saturday
09:27no no
09:31I
09:32I just bought you a present
09:34why
09:43are you
09:44fizzy in pants
09:46for men
09:46oh no
09:48I've heard
09:50there's a key
09:51oh
09:51ah
09:52Clackoff's magic
09:54key
09:54you want to get into
09:58headmaster's office
10:00yes
10:02come
10:02my office
10:04come
10:07office
10:15hardly the fucking
10:17pompadou center
10:18is it mate
10:18piss
10:21you ever
10:22try
10:22Serbian
10:23rakia
10:24oh
10:25it tastes
10:26like a
10:26lady's
10:27and
10:28how do you say
10:30um
10:30oh
10:31Fanny
10:33Fanny
10:33tears
10:35tears
10:35you've been Serbia
10:37no
10:38do you miss it
10:39it's a place of great pain
10:41I can never return
10:42oh
10:43it's my family
10:45oh lovely
10:47all dead
10:48oh
10:48I like you
10:51tell me
10:52how many years have you taken
10:53how many years
10:56have you taken
10:57how old am I
10:58yes
10:5945
11:00and Clackoff
11:01huh
11:02oh I wouldn't like to
11:03come on
11:04come on
11:05come on pretty boy
11:06how many
11:0765
11:1072
11:1872
11:18hey
11:18hey
11:19hey
11:19hey
11:20hey
11:20come
11:28dance
11:28no I
11:29I
11:29I couldn't
11:30tell you
11:30you want the magic
11:31key for piss
11:32wine
11:32no
11:33never
11:34dance
11:35you're blonde Fred
11:52oh no
11:53you're nothing crazy
11:54broken head
11:56Joe
11:57I like her
11:59you bring her to me
12:02I'm not a pimp mate
12:03oh
12:04I'll go to pimp
12:05they're a magic key for you
12:06oh
12:07oh
12:08oh
12:08oh
12:09oh
12:12okay
12:12yeah
12:13I'll speak to her
12:15fine
12:17you'll probably get on very well actually
12:18she used to be a part time cleaner so
12:20you say Clackoff is cleaner
12:24part of your job isn't it
12:25well you insult me
12:27you insult my dead family
12:28well you think my sons
12:29are dogs
12:30are beggars
12:31no
12:31cleaners
12:32no
12:33you think headmaster run this fucking school
12:36run this fucking school
12:40out
12:41get out
12:42get out
12:42you're mad
12:45you're fucking mad
12:48now what
12:56can I suggest you read chapter 34 of my autobiography
12:59it's blank
13:02it's blank
13:03yeah
13:03you want that file
13:11we break in and steal it
13:13oceans impossible style
13:15here's how I see it going down
13:20I distract the guard at the front gate disguised as a bush
13:25and then stealthily infiltrate the facility using my cunning disguise
13:29piss patrols the perimeter to check for the head teacher whilst I attach giant springs to my feet
13:35your mum someone sorts over the rear fence and busts out her ninja starts
13:39piss keeps watch for nesta while she takes out the free guards with tranquiliser dart
13:43which leaves me free to bounce up to the window like a fucking frog and
13:46what the fuck are you on about
13:49all my tents in my head
13:51I'll come up with a plan
13:53who did the map for you?
14:00Dennis
14:01cheeky little twat
14:02fifty quid
14:03he's lucky I didn't grass him up
14:04what for?
14:05it's obviously him doing all the graffiti isn't it
14:07how else does he know how to break in?
14:09right
14:10let's get this over with
14:11oh you
14:13will need
14:14these
14:15what's this?
14:16they're walkie talkies for insurance
14:23stay here and maintain radio silence unless absolutely necessary
14:37bye
15:07Ah, oh.
15:37I like this.
15:54Oh, thank you.
15:57It's thick down there, too.
16:02I...
16:03It springs.
16:04The hair, under your hand.
16:10You break anything in here, you will have to answer to Klakov.
16:20Righto?
16:34I don't know.
16:44HE SIGHS
16:47HE SIGHS
16:49HE SIGHS
16:51HE SIGHS
16:53HE SIGHS
16:55HE SIGHS
16:57HE SIGHS
16:59HE SIGHS
17:01HE SIGHS
17:03Dan? Everything's fine here, Dan. I don't want to panic you.
17:05But I would like a response, thanks.
17:07HE SIGHS
17:09HE SIGHS
17:10Shut up, Dan! Shut up!
17:12HE SIGHS
17:14HE SIGHS
17:16HE SIGHS
17:18HE SIGHS
17:20HE SIGHS
17:22HE SIGHS
17:24HE SIGHS
17:26HE SIGHS
17:28HE SIGHS
17:30HE SIGHS
17:32HE SIGHS
17:34HE SIGHS
17:36HE SIGHS
17:38HE SIGHS
17:40Hey!
17:43Fuck!
17:45Hey!
17:46Hey!
17:46Hey!
17:48Hey!
17:50Hey!
17:51Hey!
17:53Hey!
17:54You!
17:55Hey!
17:56I'm sorry that you're trying to dream.
18:26Shit!
18:44God! It's like a little holiday.
18:56God!
18:58God!
19:00God!
19:02God!
19:04God!
19:06I don't know.
19:36I thought I knew that stench.
19:41You're not taking that file, not on my watch.
19:43What does it matter to you?
19:45It's school protocol. School needs order.
20:06Don!
20:11Don!
20:13Just take it. Run. He's insane.
20:17No way from here. I'll take the hit.
20:20No!
20:22No!
20:23No!
20:24No!
20:25No!
20:26No!
20:27No!
20:28What the?
20:29No!
20:30What the?
20:31No!
20:32What the?
20:33No!
20:34No!
20:35No!
20:36No!
20:37No!
20:38No!
20:39No!
20:40No!
20:41What the?
20:42No.
20:49What the?
21:13Come out.
21:16Come out.
21:18Klakhov want to play.
21:25You forget.
21:27Klakhov's magic key.
21:31No one insult the Klakhov name.
21:34What now, my fat friend?
21:36The police are coming.
21:39Hey.
21:40Dan!
21:41What are you doing?
21:42Nowhere to hide.
21:43No!
21:44It's sucking!
21:45Let it go!
21:46Klakhov!
21:47Dan, you've got to get out of there!
21:48Klakhov!
21:49Run this fucking storm!
21:50Dan, hurry!
21:58What am I doing?
22:01I thought you hated teaching.
22:03You hate teaching.
22:04The head's more likely to appoint a bee.
22:06Of course.
22:09Of course.
22:39Fox!
22:40Go!
22:41Go!
22:42Go!
22:43Go!
22:44Go!
22:45Fox!
22:46Go!
22:47Take it!
22:48Go!
22:49Go!
22:50Go!
22:51Go!
22:52Go!
22:55The disciplinary wasn't that serious.
22:57You really don't need to resign.
22:59Look, mate.
23:00This has been a long time coming.
23:03I should never have become a teacher.
23:05I'm not good.
23:07I'll never be like Miss Sharman.
23:11It's time to move on.
23:21My aunt thought goose fat would get it off, but it hasn't.
23:31Yeah.
23:32It stings, doesn't it?
23:34You're driftwood floating under water.
23:38Breaking into pieces, to pieces, to pieces.
23:45Just driftwood hollow end of noise.
23:50Waterfalls are finally my ship prizes.
23:56Nobody is an island.
23:59Everyone has to go.
24:01Go!
24:02Go!
24:06Toots of the
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