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Short filmTranscript
00:0012 virgins are heading towards a paradise island to take part in a unique experiment the word
00:14virgin people see it as a joke it's quite upsetting i'm 23 still a virgin i feel like
00:22there's something wrong with me in a world where sex is everywhere my god terrified absolutely
00:30terrified the truth is surprising there are more adult virgins than ever being a young adult in this
00:37day and age it's difficult social media dating apps influencers tv shows porn porn porn porn is
00:44everywhere are you self-conscious about our genitals touching each other now yeah this radical retreat
00:52is offering a very hands-on solution oh yeah she's a miracle worker woohoo oh god yes overseen by a group
01:01of experts yeah like that i like that ready to do anything to help britain's virgins there's the
01:10clitters do you have any questions lose the one thing don't make you nervous they feel he's holding
01:18them back i would love to have sex with you i do feel like there's a barrier between me and sex i want
01:24to lose my virginity it's now or never but when the moment arrives would you like to move to bed
01:32who will be ready i just don't want anyone to touch me to go all the way
01:42here they come can you imagine i scared they are hello hi welcome for the next two weeks welcome my
02:03friend this experimental retreat will be home to 12 young people from all over the uk who desperately
02:13want help welcome so good to meet you everyone's so spiritual i could be a 40 year old virgin i feel
02:21like i'm on a really bad route right now and i need i need something to change hey damn i'm deva hi nice
02:27to meet you do you need a hand yet now uh yes i will cheers i describe myself as nervous i feel i look
02:33like one the glasses perhaps not the best physique so if i can lose my virginity that's one less thing
02:39for people to ridicule me over hi they're here to learn hi would you like a hug um i'm all right thank
02:48you okay from some of the world's most experienced experts on how to embrace intimacy oh hello welcome
02:56thank you i just can't do touch i don't know why i've never had a girlfriend my fear is that i'm
03:03always going to be a virgin like what am i doing wrong i've never been abroad before so so if anything
03:12i've popped my blind virginity yay my social life's non-existent all right i've got two cats i feed them
03:20i look after them but they attack me but i know they love me in the wrong way but yeah not very social
03:25this is where you'll be staying for the duration of their stay home sweetheart i mean it's not quite
03:36my usual color they'll wear a retreat outfit you know like prisoners who get out on good behavior
03:42to go pick up litter that's sort of the color palette we're working with so they can focus on
03:47themselves not their image basic but comfy i would like to walk away from the island with more self
03:55confidence because when you see a lot of celebrities on instagram they they just have everything so
04:02perfect comparing myself to people online disrupted my self-esteem and it's something that i've been
04:08struggling with for so long it is so easy to say don't worry about the way you look in the mirror but
04:15then it is so hard to put that into action i think once i'm more content with myself i will then be
04:22able to live life and losing my virginity would probably be my final goal
04:36this is going to be your hangout zone oh that looks fantastic it's beautiful
04:41i can't get over how clear the water is before the course begins the group have a chance to get to
04:48know each other at the hangout oh hello hey guys you okay i'm taylor nice to meet you nice to meet you
04:58i am bisexual i do know what i'm interested in but with boys and girls the only experience i've ever
05:05had been negative you kind of feel like it's just you who's having this issue and nobody else is
05:11is that quite isolating yeah it's very isolating yeah yeah sorry
05:23oh hello all right i'm tom i'm zach zach nice to meet you zach how are you okay very good yeah
05:31i went to university for three years but i was depressed in many ways by the fact that i'm a
05:38version i didn't get the degree i should have got never since i've been stuck doing jobs that i never
05:45really wanted to do i'm tired of the person that i've become it can't go on
05:57the group sessions are where most of the touch stuff is going to be done the thing i'm dreading
06:01is hugging did you not hug at the the start nope are you hanging i i shook the hands i don't do hugs
06:06yeah shut the hand oh and i would have been like no i'll jump in the water no i don't hug it it's the
06:12um therapy itself it scares me now i'm just getting more and more tense the virgins are clearly nervous
06:20about what lies ahead and that's understandable it's a course like no other okay good set up by
06:28groundbreaking sex therapists celeste and danielle eyes closed what's going to happen on this island
06:35is mind-blowing breathe one in eight people at age 26 are still virgins in the uk this is happening
06:43all over the world even the french are having less sex with a team of international sex coaches
06:50trained in different touch therapies they'll help the group try to overcome their worries around
06:58virginity tucked away on the island a sexy therapy spaces and bedrooms where they can practice the art
07:07of intimacy you can't really learn how to play a guitar from a book and you can't learn how to give
07:14and receive pleasure by just talking about it sometimes the only way to help someone is to get
07:19physical they don't know it yet but each phase of the course will push them to their very limits
07:28as they take their first steps to sexual confidence
07:36it feels so good let's go
07:44it's a process that starts now they're waiting for us of course with the foundation of all sexual attraction
07:52we're so excited to start our workshops today and the first phase of this course is desire
08:08and letting shame go shame is very much attached to desire and turn ons and so much of shame melts away
08:17when people come together and start to talk about sex each of you need to have a space and a pillow
08:24the first exercise will give celeste and danielle a clear idea of who in the group is open to desire
08:30wonderful start by closing your eyes and who may be resistant just listening to my voice
08:37ah i'm gonna start by taking a nice deep breath
08:47i'm gonna make lots of noise too by the way this may not be most people's idea of sex
08:53but for virgins celeste and danielle's research shows it's a great way to tune into your body
08:59breathwork is very powerful we use breath to help people expand on sensations release emotions so
09:09breath is key i'm gonna up the speed of the breath
09:13breath okay who was willing to make sound with me
09:26some are throwing themselves in wonderful you're doing it i love it good job
09:34ah but others seem more skeptical and for touch phobic jason
09:42it's more than he can handle
09:47it's amazing how much rest we need to take to warm up our body to feel more and experience more
09:54and get it in yeah check your feet yeah i love this dance
10:02with the next breath we're gonna raise our hands
10:10wonderful it's great okay celeste and danielle move on to the next exercise start by pairing up
10:17to teach them that before saying yes it's okay to say no
10:22all right so this exercise is about saying no so one of you is going to ask the other person for
10:29three things and then the other person is going to say no
10:35go on
10:39can i borrow 50 pounds oh no we need people to feel safe if people don't feel safe they won't feel safe
10:48to open up and start and try new things can i have to go on your golf cart absolutely not no can
10:54i i don't know what to say when i'm around a member of opposite sex i'm very awkward
10:59can i punch you in the face
11:02no i tend to say things without thinking can i throw you in the seat no no i wish it was different
11:10love to be able to speak to a girl keep a conversation and go on a date that's my kind
11:16of dream can i feed you to a lion no why not violent take a seat yeah just sit and relax
11:27the level of inexperience is clear so celeste and danielle decide to test how the group reacts
11:32to intense intimacy i want to give you a little demo of what you might get to tease your appetite a
11:38whole bit andre we call it up against the wall
11:54oh
12:04witnessing sexual desire for most of this group is clearly unsettling
12:08oh
12:22oh
12:26okay i actually want to get your first sort of like a visceral response it was like watching a
12:31sex scene with your parents but times a hundred quite uncomfortable to be honest watching that yeah
12:36it's normal to have so let yourself have any feelings you want to laugh laugh if you want to
12:40cry cry it's all okay this big insecurity that i have when it comes to my looks means i can't imagine
12:49that someone would want to be with me in any way where you're so stuck in this mindset that someone
12:54would be ashamed to walk down the street with you it's like a never-ending cycle like a roundabout
13:01it doesn't stop when i was growing up i would always get labeled as the duff which is designated ugly fat
13:08friend so i would always believe that i was ugly so i think there's a lot that i need to work on
13:18all right we're going to come in a circle big round of applause
13:29thank you all bye bye
13:31bye
13:32what i got myself into i feel like i'm in a cult
13:37i'd be lying if i said it wasn't weird
13:39it seemed cultish it just seems like they've got this island where they live in a completely different world
13:45the up against the wall was interesting by the end i'd love to be able to do that
13:52i could not look after he kicked our legs apart that was too aggressive
13:55i think that's actually the most intimate i've ever seen people in front of you
14:02i don't think i was fully ready for that because i'm so shut off to that sort of world i've never
14:09felt that sort of emotion i've walked away feeling really overwhelmed i'm a bit like
14:14brain boggled at the minute the course has just begun and so far they've only had a taste
14:20of the unconventional methods ahead the next workshop may be tougher and i may actually not be ready for
14:26what do you reckon with any dead bodies in the water
14:43it's halfway through day one on virgin island
14:47coming out as a virgin is very difficult because i think in this day and age people see it as such like
14:52a negative for men we we hide it if you're a virgin because mostly because how other men will see
15:00them 100 yeah so i told someone in our office that i'm a virgin and everyone who comes in they tell
15:05everyone i wish i was like smart to just say yeah i've had lots of the sex
15:11people have so much shame about being a virgin i think between rom-coms and porn there's so much
15:21perfectionism that's put out there like it's so much pressure that they're just terrified to try
15:27anything at all that's where we come in
15:32each step of the way the experts will share notes with each other about the group
15:36when you did the up against the wall exercise she started crying and after an emotional reaction
15:43during this morning's workshop their first concern is emma i could see her face she was like really
15:50feeling it really intense it was too much for her to see it really she was like picturing herself in
15:55the situation and she got very overwhelmed like that was my sense every afternoon there are one-on-one
16:03sessions across the island and first the experts want emma to explore her boundaries around intimacy
16:10with thomas during 23 years being single i've never had the experience of someone romantically touching
16:19me if i ever got presented with the situation of sex i would worry that i could have a panic attack
16:26hello okay i've never masturbated and i've never experienced an orgasm no there's no way that i could
16:36experience one other thing i want to propose you a little game around touch okay um you just ask for
16:46the kind of touch you really like okay what would make you happy to receive it's not something that
16:57i'm like oh i really wish someone would touch me john i don't think yeah okay um maybe yeah maybe you
17:05could touch my knee okay the idea is to test how emma reacts to escalating touch yeah thank you do you
17:17want to try somewhere else where you feel that might be more like uh involved maybe if you try upper thigh
17:25when it gets to this bit it gets a little bit like oh god like what's gonna happen sort of thing you it
17:39feels like you you mean you have some fear i feel like if you went around here i probably would have
17:47maybe had a panic attack i did as much as i could and i pushed myself to my limits for the level that
17:56i'm currently at but i don't think i was really ready for it i i feel quite drained i feel a bit upset
18:05well thank you so much and yeah we'll just come with you i feel she's kind of a bit stuck
18:13okay thank you see you again take care see you later goodbye she was going through it but really
18:19one toe at a time one step at a time emma's struggling hello charlotte do you want a hug no i'm
18:29all right thank you and as some of the others experience their first taste of touch therapy
18:34what's coming up for you i know it's a simple thing but like i feel like i'm doing a bad job
18:40it's clear emma's not the only one finding it difficult yeah right or close yeah i love 100
18:49how intimate would you describe it yeah probably like 90 i think that's where we call it don't
18:54step backwards please
19:01but booking the trend is zach oh come on in i'm so excited as well after throwing himself into the
19:08first workshop the experts want to test how far zach is ready to go i've always wanted to be accepted
19:15i've always wanted to be liked by others it's something i felt i haven't had at many points
19:20in my life i know you feel also like a failure around sexuality right time yeah yeah it's just it's
19:27so hard to let go of that of course i don't know if i can just have a tissue please wipe these away
19:37sex was a taboo my family never even to this day talks about it i grew up seeing my dad only once a
19:47week and he never talked about it so i can't get tips or ask someone hey how do i attract a woman it
19:56feels like i should have figured out all that out a long time ago also i don't feel attractive or
20:04handsome um i assume the way that other people see me it's negative i think generally
20:12i want to play a fantasy with you really danielle believes her methods can give zach the confidence he
20:23needs how close that's all right yeah but it's not like any therapy he may have seen before
20:33i'm just gonna kiss you gently and i want you to like see if you can really take it in okay
20:42how does that feel
21:02now i start to feel your arousal oh my god this is so sexy her hands-on technique works by giving
21:19zach a physical experience i just love how you bite your lip you're doing a form of somatic
21:24or touch therapy somatic therapy believes that just talking with someone is not going to be
21:37sufficient and we really need to help people through the body in order to really create some
21:43sort of change thank you thank you no one's ever said that i'm sexy no one i'm feeling fuzzy
21:56all over in that session alone i've done things that i've been craving for a long time
22:03go conquering the world i'm making tons of progress
22:07back in the hangout the others are keen to find out more
22:13where have you been the one-to-one session was it good it's pretty intense
22:20oh neck kissing to need a minute
22:22the first day at the retreat has shown just how many issues the group has around sex shame and
22:34intimacy and as the sun sets on the island
22:39oh very i see them staring at us oh i can just sense red celeste and danielle have one last exercise
22:47hello
22:48so you each brought an item that is about letting go of some piece of shame that you're ready to be done
22:57with and we can't wait to hear your stories
23:00they'll each share a story that represents a past failure in the hope that they can move on
23:06i'll go
23:08my items about my first year uni um have any feelings for my flatmate
23:18um so i decided to get her a necklace um but before i could give it to her
23:23she made it very clear we were never going to be anything um i didn't handle the rejection too
23:30well and i just beat myself up every day about it in terms of how i ended things with her
23:35it's my first ever rubik's cube and the way i treat a lot of relationships as a puzzle
23:47i think that gets in the way
23:48this is a gift that one of my well my only ex got me i didn't really think it meant that much
23:57and i should have thrown it out a while ago
23:59this is a hoodie from a time in my life when i
24:07i just felt like really worthless and i didn't see a future for myself
24:12this is actually a diary from one of my only kind of dating relationships
24:20that i felt was too much for me at the time
24:24and um it's something i really need to go of
24:27my one's a bit more literal
24:35i have expired condoms
24:38my mate gave these to me before a house party and he said you're definitely going to need these
24:45um i didn't i think if anything signifies sexual failure it's having condoms go out of date
24:49so mine is a childhood photo i felt quite difficult to express emotions while i was this age
25:00i was more of a people pleaser into the point where i'd end up really damaging myself
25:06because i was more worried about their feelings rather than my own
25:10but i want to let go of the people pleasing aspects
25:14if you don't love yourself how the hell are you going to love anyone else
25:17thank you so much
25:19you're amazing
25:21okay well you made us cry
25:23this was really deep
25:25and really meaningful
25:27and we're just so proud of you
25:30amazed actually amazed
25:32yeah
25:32how did you feel
25:40i wanted to you know say goodbye to it
25:42it's like pulling a band-aid off
25:45i walked into it a bit sceptical on how i was going to feel
25:49i'm trying to open myself up to learning new things
25:53but i don't know whether i've achieved a lot
25:57and i'm not looking forward to what tomorrow may hold
26:00jeez louise
26:02it was an intense day
26:05a very long day
26:06tensions are only going to get higher
26:08yeah
26:09stormy night last night
26:19stormy weather i think means upheaval change
26:24morning
26:26morning guys
26:27it's day two at the retreat
26:31smoothie
26:32it's strawberry milk
26:33get one
26:34the morning after last night's shame exercise
26:37how are you guys feeling about the presentation last night
26:40i wasn't expecting to be quite as emotional
26:43yeah
26:44i didn't really enjoy it
26:47now the experts hope the next exercise will move from shame back to desire
26:53we want to see what motivates them around sex
26:58and there's nothing more explicit than writing your erotic story
27:02the storm clouds are circling
27:06but it's not just the weather the group are bracing themselves for
27:09hello hello are you all right now okay your next exercise write your hottest sexual
27:22fantasy okay oh my it's a fantasy so let yourself go with it don't hold back okay
27:31ciao ciao wonderful to see you bye oh my god did she say hottest or hardest hottest
27:38oh blind cross i want to go inside
27:42is anyone feeling a bit sick about writing this
27:45i certainly expect 12 virgins to struggle with writing an erotic story i don't think they
27:51will have much of a clue about what they want in terms of sexuality but you know we shall see
27:56this needs to have backing music over and it's like
28:00bow to go wow wow
28:04celeste and danielle want to test how in touch they are with their desires
28:11so far i've got a couple of uh openings it was a dark and stormy night obviously a classic
28:17confident after his one-on-one session with danielle yesterday zach is quick off the mark
28:22never before has he been so surprised
28:26is my other one i think i'll try that yes
28:30oh but for others revealing their innermost desires doesn't come easy
28:38you have to try the grind stuff i've never never read that i'm not erotic i have no idea how to write
28:43like right now i'm writing i've bought a lottery ticket
28:45it's hard to say what my dream would be in a sexual manner when i haven't really been
28:52open to having a sexual manner that makes sense i'm trying to open myself up to learning new things
29:01but it's difficult to do that when you're not happy with yourself
29:05i haven't read anything
29:09i am a senior parliamentary researcher for an mp in parliament i i deal with the public
29:17and i'm actually in a public speakers club i'm perfectly comfortable doing that
29:20but i thought having sex with just one person for whatever reason that just really is is quite frightening
29:25god you've written a novel once you get started it's a lot easier
29:29right once you've got an idea i don't even know how i'd write more on the page like to ask you
29:33just pick a subject and just start from there honestly
29:37and then just make it real sexy right
29:40well that's not me whatever floats your boat you know you're way more confident i am
29:44yeah i just this yeah it's quite scary
29:47oh god we're in the amphitheatre
29:54stories written the experts will watch to see who's embracing
30:00welcome back everyone morning
30:02and who's hiding their true desires
30:05so we're gonna invite you to share your fantasy with us
30:13i'm not ready for this
30:15anyone want to volunteer to go first
30:18take the leap
30:21it can be so empowering
30:23i'll go first yeah
30:31so my fantasy it starts with me walking toward my castle
30:36as i enter i'm greeted by sofia vergara the latino lady from modern family
30:41she would say how great my castle is and how my wife is a lucky lady
30:46i would then proceed to my master bedroom due to hearing my name being called by an almost angelic voice
30:51my wife brackets not married as i don't want to lose the castle in a divorce
30:55the sex is unbelievable and the best way to describe it is for you to imagine your very own fantasy
31:01and multiply the pleasure by 10
31:03as more of the group step up
31:09we've reached a bit of land covered in rocks
31:12fuck there's our luggage hope she doesn't find my cum socks
31:15some are struggling to reveal their desires
31:19instead they're hiding behind humour
31:22i didn't even get a chance to write anything because i'd write this block
31:26but you know i thought about it and i'd say i'd be with either angelia jolie or anne hathaway
31:30watching villa in the champions league
31:31you know she'd be just wearing a villa top and that'd be that
31:33others
31:37a sigh a kiss hot air against skin
31:39fingers dancing across one another
31:41the both of us would enjoy the experience fully
31:43seem happier to share their real fantasies and feelings
31:47aphrodite requires tributes made to her
31:51an act of physical love by a devoted and naive nymph
31:55we'd head back to my house and she'd sort of lead me upstairs
32:00you know i'd pick her up take her down on the bed
32:04and i'd probably do something for her sex i don't know what i'm doing
32:08we just naturally start kissing and she'd bite my lip pull down on it
32:14um yeah that's that's what it would be like
32:17but it's zach who has the most explicit story of all
32:27the shadow descended from the top of the hill
32:30upon which stood a towering warrior
32:32he removed his helmet to expose his fiery hair
32:35a maiden stood forth
32:37remove your sandals she commanded
32:39obligingly he knelt down
32:41in that moment she lifted her skirt and forced his head between her knees
32:45she let out a moan of pure ecstasy she removed her dress
32:49exposing her breasts and naked body
32:50the warrior entered her many times the body's becoming one
32:54that's just the first chapter
32:59anyone else feeling brave
33:02okay
33:03yesterday's session with thomas revealed the extent of emma's issues around intimacy
33:08but her erotic story could offer more insight
33:11my ideal fantasy would be a person coming into my life unexpected
33:25a genuine honest supportive and kind male
33:34with no expectation of me
33:36who has a genuine big heart
33:38a love for the world
33:39to treat others how we wish to be treated
33:42and to be happy and have the opportunities to grow together
33:45yay
33:46you were fantastic
33:50really amazing
33:51right
33:52that was phenomenal
33:53phenomenal
33:53phenomenal
33:54gather your stuff
33:56thank you so much
33:58thank you
33:58thank you
33:59thank you
33:59thank you
33:59thank you
34:00thank you
34:00I really like jokes
34:03when I'm awkward
34:04I'm trying to make jokes
34:05my story
34:07wasn't very sexual
34:08it's how I deal with awkward situations
34:10and things that I don't really know what to do
34:12just a defense mechanism for me
34:14everyone seemed to laugh at it
34:15it was a bit unlikely
34:16so it went better than I thought
34:18I felt really good actually
34:20the story I was telling
34:22showed a lot about myself
34:24and you know I can see
34:25what experiences I want to have now
34:27it was actually a little bit of a confidence boost
34:31pushing myself
34:32and having the courage
34:33to go up there
34:35and do that sort of thing
34:36it made me feel a lot better afterwards
34:39a lot of people say to me
34:43oh you look young
34:44I think I'm like 18, 19, 20
34:46but then I always say
34:48oh it's because I never had a boyfriend
34:49so I haven't been stressed out
34:51you've never had a boyfriend?
34:53no
34:53no
34:53after a successful workshop
34:57the dynamics between the girls and boys
35:00seem to be shifting
35:01you definitely seem like
35:03one of the most confident
35:04of all of us I'd say
35:05thank you
35:06I've worked very hard
35:08to be this confident
35:09I think you're really pretty
35:13thank you
35:14I don't want to be in the sun for too long
35:19okay
35:19it was nice having that chat with you
35:21do you think Ben likes me?
35:25I've not noticed it'd be enough of you or anyone else
35:27no it's just
35:28I think he likes me
35:29likes me
35:30oh like that way
35:31I'll work out
35:31I don't know
35:32while sparks fly between Ben and Charlotte
35:37not everyone is finding island life quite so easy
35:42I think Jason needs a lot of like basic
35:48this is how you do this
35:49this is how you do this
35:50it's just it's going to take time for him to
35:52to feel the empowerment around
35:54touching other people I think
35:56weirdly enough
35:57my sex education
35:59because I'd moved to school
36:00I'd missed the sex ed week
36:01so basically safe parks
36:03my sex education
36:04I've never touched a condom
36:07the only thing I could know about
36:08women's and that I mean stuff
36:10would be on from TV
36:11and the internet
36:12that kind of thing
36:13if it was a game
36:14I'm level one
36:15that's interesting
36:16I'd love to be able to level up in a way
36:18sound like a virgin
36:20explaining that
36:21oh god
36:21come on in
36:23so the experts have planned a session
36:25on the basics of touch with Celeste
36:27I've never really been able to be a touchy-feely person
36:32my family's like that though
36:34like my mum
36:34she's never been a touchy-huggy person
36:36but I know she loves me
36:37I love her
36:37but we can't do hugs
36:39it's just not in our nature
36:40I want to try
36:41putting my hand on top of your hand
36:44and see how that feels
36:45more
36:46more intimate
36:47exactly
36:48so I could scooch to you
36:49after this morning's workshop
36:52Celeste wants to learn more about the real Jason
36:54behind the humour
36:55let's take some steps
36:56you know
36:57yeah
36:57and we can see like
36:58do you like
36:59putting your hand on mine
37:00do you like me
37:01putting my hand on yours
37:02for example
37:02so you want to start with like
37:04just putting
37:04yeah just putting it on there
37:05like that
37:06yeah
37:06is it okay
37:08like does the sensation feel good
37:10it's okay
37:11yeah
37:11yeah
37:12alright
37:12okay
37:13so can we try it
37:14where I put my hand on your hand
37:16okay
37:16yeah
37:16I feel like
37:23I feel like
37:23because it's happening to me
37:24it's like
37:24a little overwhelming
37:25yeah
37:26yeah
37:27feeling uncomfortable
37:30receiving touch
37:31when I work
37:32when I work in like offices
37:32and stuff
37:33I'm a bit worried I'm a bit too firm
37:34with handshakes
37:35mm-hmm
37:35Jason takes matters into his own hands
37:39right
37:40like that
37:42that feels good
37:44is that okay
37:45I would even like
37:47let our palms touch
37:48a little bit more
37:48okay
37:50like that
37:53do you feel like
37:53more like that
37:54yeah
37:55on safer territory
37:57I feel so limp
37:59you can give a little bit more pressure
38:00one more
38:00yeah let's do one more
38:01Jason's flying
38:03like that
38:03that was beautiful
38:05success
38:06I was shitting myself
38:08because I had no idea
38:09what I was in for
38:10like
38:11alright
38:11I think it's just getting more intimate
38:14to touch
38:14I want to be improved
38:16I want to be cured
38:18who wants a butt plug
38:28I don't want to touch it
38:30I don't think this has been inside
38:31I don't know if it's been inside anyone
38:33to encourage the group
38:35to broaden their sexual horizons
38:37a couple more butt plugs
38:38I could be like Wolverine
38:39just like
38:39the experts have handed over
38:41a box of sex toys
38:43oh these are fun
38:45if I took your butt
38:46and you fart
38:47enough
38:48could you actually
38:49blow it out
38:50and left them to explore
38:53who wants to be tied up
38:55go on then
38:55you know you'd be in a bed
38:57and this would be tied to like a thingy
38:59it just helped reinforce for me
39:01when I have sex
39:02it's gonna be vanilla
39:03just vanilla sex for me
39:04I'm gonna leave you like that now
39:06Charlotte
39:07who wants the feather
39:13yeah
39:14how does it feel
39:16it's making me feel like being struck by chicken
39:18chicken
39:20I want to lose my virginity on the retreat
39:23absolutely
39:25all of the shame
39:27and the self-criticisms
39:29that come being a virgin
39:30my hope would be that afterwards
39:32that would be gone
39:33because you're not anymore
39:34you don't have to put this label on yourself anymore
39:37hello
39:41hello
39:42so far
39:43Zach is adapting quickly to the course
39:45comfortable with hugs?
39:47absolutely
39:47yeah
39:48yeah
39:48Zach is starting to stand taller
39:52he's more confident
39:53please have a seat
39:55and after our last session
39:57I think he's ready for most advanced therapy
40:00working with a surrogate
40:02partner
40:03a highly trained therapist
40:05able to have sex with a client
40:07today I'm here to give you the introduction
40:10into surrogate partner therapy
40:13what my role is
40:14what Kat's role is
40:16and you know
40:17a little bit about
40:18how this process works
40:19surrogate partner therapy
40:21has been around
40:22for quite a while
40:24and it involved a therapist
40:26a client
40:27and a surrogate partner
40:29it starts pretty slow
40:30with clothes on
40:31embodiment exercises
40:32just while we're kind of like
40:33getting used to each other
40:34and I can learn what you like
40:36and vice versa
40:36the surrogate is helping them
40:39explore what it feels like
40:41to take your clothes off
40:42with someone
40:43what it feels like
40:44to touch someone
40:45in an erotic way
40:47and can go all the way
40:49to a full sexual experience
40:51as you're comfortable with
40:53we'll move to more
40:54organic encounters
40:55kissing
40:56oral intercourse
40:58it will eventually feel like
41:00just practicing
41:00different sexual skills
41:02that's the gist
41:03yeah
41:03cool
41:04got it
41:05this is a container
41:07for you to practice
41:08a relationship
41:09and so
41:10I am a licensed
41:12mental health clinician
41:13you will be working
41:15with me with regards
41:16to like any emotions
41:17that come up
41:18and that's like
41:19my side of the street
41:20got it
41:20I'm gonna let the two of you
41:22have the remainder
41:22of the session
41:23alright
41:24I will see you guys soon
41:25take care
41:26bye
41:26bye
41:26is there anything
41:29you want to talk about
41:30before we move
41:31to some body work
41:32I don't think so
41:35no
41:35okay
41:35I'm gonna have you
41:36lie down
41:37so I'm gonna touch you
41:40first
41:41and I'm only gonna touch
41:42your arm
41:42and I'm gonna use
41:44my hands
41:45my arms
41:46my face
41:46and my hair
41:47if that's okay
41:47yeah
41:48I think it's really
41:56important to teach
41:57people how to have sex
41:58teaching like
42:00really basic
42:00relationship skills
42:02when clothes come off
42:03things get more erotic
42:05helping people
42:07be human again
42:08it makes me want
42:09to do my job
42:10while sex
42:14is the ultimate aim
42:15Zach must build
42:16a connection with Kat
42:17before getting to that level
42:18how was that
42:29it was good
42:31I was tingly
42:31in a good way
42:33yeah
42:33are you ready to switch
42:35mm-hmm
42:36yeah
42:36let's go
42:37a surrogate partner bond
42:48and really make sure
42:50you're feeling
42:51what feels good
42:52takes time to nurture
42:56like any relationship
42:58we're done
43:06you're done
43:07yeah
43:07yeah
43:08what came up
43:12just then
43:12that made you feel
43:13like stopping
43:13I think
43:17you know
43:17touching your arm
43:18is great
43:18it feels amazing
43:19it's just
43:20obviously I want more
43:21oh okay
43:22but it's a process
43:23you know
43:24like that
43:24I wouldn't do more
43:25than that
43:25on a first session
43:26with anybody
43:27the speed
43:28of the surrogate program
43:30doesn't seem
43:30to be moving
43:31fast enough
43:32for Zach
43:32so how far
43:33are you wanting
43:34to go
43:34with surrogate
43:35partner therapy
43:36I would like
43:36to go all the way
43:37I would love
43:38to have sex
43:38with you
43:39you know
43:39that's why
43:40I came here
43:40really
43:40yeah
43:41it's hard
43:43to connect
43:43with someone
43:43you just met
43:44telling you
43:44hey
43:45I'm your surrogate
43:46you will be
43:47eventually
43:47maybe
43:48if you want
43:48having sex
43:49with me
43:49so let's
43:50stand up
43:50let's just
43:53shake it up
43:53do you think
43:56I'll be able
43:56to lose
43:56my virginity
43:57you know
43:58have sex
43:59with Kat
43:59eventually
44:00I would like
44:01to
44:02how was it
44:08yeah
44:09so we were doing
44:09arm touching
44:10like
44:10it was intense
44:11like I didn't realise
44:12like I would have
44:13that strong
44:13of a reaction
44:14to be honest
44:14you know
44:16maybe I'll lose
44:16my virginity
44:17very soon
44:17but yeah
44:19very positive
44:19experience
44:20I think
44:20pretty guys
44:26oh
44:27down here
44:27with a big fire
44:28after two days
44:30at the retreat
44:30the first phase
44:32of the course
44:33is drawing
44:33to a close
44:34shame bonfire
44:36is a culmination
44:37of everything
44:38that we've done
44:39in the first phase
44:40it's a chance
44:41for them
44:42to get rid
44:43of their shame items
44:44from yesterday
44:44and move on
44:46we're going to call
44:51you up one at a time
44:52to let these old stories
44:54about yourself
44:55and these old ways
44:56of being and thinking
44:57go
44:57and I am so
44:59delighted for you
45:00okay
45:02are you ready
45:04to let it go
45:05yes
45:05let it go
45:07let it go
45:09let it go
45:10woo
45:11let it go
45:14the act of burning
45:15something
45:15is the act
45:16of letting go
45:17and saying
45:18I can change now
45:20ready
45:20let it go
45:22it felt really good
45:23to be able to
45:24release all my feelings
45:26into the fire
45:26I feel
45:27a lot more competent
45:29it's like
45:29a whole
45:30refresh of emotions
45:32let it go
45:34let it go
45:35let it go
45:37woo
45:37I was stuck in a rut
45:39I was stuck in
45:40a way of thinking
45:41and I think
45:42this is my opportunity
45:43now to really
45:44change that
45:45I'm keen to fill in
45:48more of the gaps
45:49woohoo
45:50let it go
45:51next time
45:55they're quite attractive
45:56so I mean
45:56you know
45:57things heat up
45:58on the touch phase
45:58of the cast
45:59there's another
46:02animal here
46:03with you
46:04on this rug
46:05oh
46:06it was like
46:08watching a portal
46:08as emotions
46:10bubble over
46:11I just don't want
46:12anyone to touch me
46:13I just have
46:15one minute
46:15when things
46:19turn physical
46:20I can't
46:21for you
46:22I can't
46:24I can't
46:24oh
46:25yeah
46:26oh
46:26oh
46:27yeah
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