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Short filmTranscript
00:0012 virgins are heading towards a paradise island to take part in a unique experiment the word
00:14virgin people see it as a joke it's quite upsetting I'm 23 still a virgin I feel like
00:22there's something wrong with me in a world where sex is everywhere my god terrified
00:29absolutely terrified the truth is surprising there are more adult virgins than ever being a
00:36young adult in this day and age it's difficult social media dating apps influence of TV shows
00:42porn porn porn porn is everywhere are you self-conscious about our genitals touching
00:48each other now yeah this radical retreat is offering a very hands-on solution she's a
00:57miracle worker whoa oh god yes overseen by a group of experts yeah like that I like that ready to do
01:06anything to help Britain's virgins there's the clitters do you have any questions lose the one
01:14thing so many nervous they feel is holding them back I would love to have sex with you I do feel
01:21like there's a barrier between me and sex I want to lose my virginity it's now or never but when the
01:29moment arrives would you like to move to bed who will be ready I just don't want anyone to touch me
01:37to go all the way here they come can you imagine I scared they are for the next two weeks welcome my
02:03friend this experimental retreat will be home to 12 young people from all over the UK who desperately
02:13want help so spiritual I could be a 40 year old virgin I feel like I'm on a really bad route right now and I
02:23need I need something to change I describe myself as nervous I feel I look like one the glasses perhaps
02:35not the best physique so if I can lose my virginity that's one less thing for people to ridicule me
02:41over hi they're here to learn hi would you like a hug I'm all right thank you okay from some of the
02:50world's most experienced experts on how to embrace intimacy oh hello welcome thank you I just can't do
02:58touch well I don't know why I've never had a girlfriend my fear is that I'm always gonna be a
03:04virgin like what am I doing wrong I've never been abroad before so so anything I've popped my blind
03:13virginity yeah my social life's non-existent I've got two cats I feed them I look after them but they
03:21attack me but I know they love me in the wrong way but yeah not very social
03:25this is where you'll be staying for the duration of their stay home sweet home I mean it's not quite
03:36my usual color they'll wear a retreat outfit you know like prisoners who get out on good behavior
03:42to go pick up litter that's sort of the color palette we're working with so they can focus on
03:47themselves not their image basic but comfy I would like to walk away from the island with more
03:55self-confidence because when you see a lot of celebrities on Instagram they they just have
04:01everything so perfect comparing myself to people online disrupting my self-esteem and it's something
04:07that I've been struggling with for so long it is so easy to say don't worry about the way you look in
04:14the mirror but then it is so hard to put that into action I think once I'm more content with myself
04:20I will then be able to live life and losing my virginity would probably be my final goal
04:35this is going to be your hangout zone that looks fantastic it's beautiful I can't get over how clear
04:43the water is before the cast begins the group have a chance to get to know each other at the hangout
04:50oh hello hey guys UK I'm Taylor nice to meet you nice to meet you I am bisexual I do know what I'm
05:01interested in but with boys and girls the only experience I've had of being negative you kind of feel
05:08like it's just you who's having this issue nobody else is is that quite isolating yeah it's very
05:15isolating yeah sorry oh hello all right I'm Tom I'm Zach Zach nice to meet you Zach how are you okay
05:28very good yeah I went to university for three years but I was depressed in many ways by the fact that I'm a
05:38virgin I didn't get the degree I should have got never since I've been stuck doing jobs that I never
05:44really wanted to do I'm tired of the person that I've become you can't go on hmm the group sessions are
05:58where most of the touch stuff's going to be done the thing I'm dreading is hugging did you not hug at
06:02the the start nope are you handshaving I shut the hands I don't do I don't do hugs yeah shut the
06:07hand oh and I would have like no watch them in the water it's the therapy itself it scares me now
06:14I'm just getting more and more tense the virgins are clearly nervous about what lies ahead and that's
06:23understandable it's a course like no other okay good set up by groundbreaking sex therapists Celeste
06:30and Danielle eyes closed what's gonna happen on this island is mind-blowing breathe one in eight
06:39people at age 26 are still virgins in the UK this is happening all over the world even the French are
06:45having less sex with a team of international sex coaches trained in different touch therapies
06:53they'll help the group try to overcome their worries around virginity tucked away on the island a sexy
07:03therapy spaces and bedrooms where they can practice the art of intimacy you can't really learn how to play
07:12guitar from a book and you can't learn how to give and receive pleasure by just talking about it
07:16sometimes the only way to help someone is to get physical they don't know it yet but each phase of the
07:25course will push them to their very limits as they take their first steps to sexual confidence
07:36let's go it's a process that starts now they're waiting for us of course with the foundation of all sexual
07:51attraction welcome welcome desire we so excited to start our workshops today
08:05and the first phase of this course is desire and letting shame go shame is very much attached
08:13to desire and turn-ons and so much of shame melts away when people come together and start to talk
08:19about sex each of you need to have a space and a pillow the first exercise will give Celeste and
08:26Danielle a clear idea of who in the group is open to desire wonderful start by closing your eyes and
08:33who may be resistant just listening to my voice I'm gonna start by taking a nice deep breath I'm gonna
08:48make lots of noise too by the way this may not be most people's idea of sex but for virgins Celeste and
08:55Danielle's research shows it's a great way to tune into your body breathwork is very powerful we use breath to help people expand on sensations release emotions so breath is key I'm gonna up the speed of the breath
09:13okay who was willing to make sound with me some throwing themselves in wonderful you're doing it I love it good job
09:34ah but others seem more skeptical and for touch phobic Jason ah it's more than he can handle
09:44ah it's amazing how much rest we need to take warm up our body to feel more and experience more and get it in
09:55yeah check your feet yeah I love this dance
09:58ah
10:01ah the next one is gonna raise your hands
10:04wonderful it's great okay Celeste and Danielle move on to the next exercise start by pairing up
10:17to teach them that before saying yes it's okay to say no
10:21all right so this exercise is about saying no so one of you is going to ask the other person for three
10:29things and then the other person is going to say no
10:32go on think that's a minute can I borrow 50 pounds oh no we need people to feel safe if people don't feel
10:46safe they won't feel safe to open up and start and try new things can I have go on your golf cart
10:52absolutely not no can I don't have to say when I'm around a member of opposite sex I'm very awkward
10:58can I point you in the face no I tend to say things without thinking can I throw you in the seat
11:07no no I wish it was different love to be able to speak to a girl keep a conversation and go on a
11:15date that's my kind of dream can I feed you to a lion no why not violent take a seat yeah just sit and
11:26relax the level of inexperience is clear so Celeste and Danielle decide to test how the group reacts to
11:33intense intimacy I want to give you a little demo of what you might get to it tease your appetite a
11:38little bit Andre we call it up against the wall
11:44witnessing sexual desire for most of this group is clearly unsettling
12:08okay I actually want to get your first sort of like a visceral response it was like watching a
12:31sex scene your parents but times a hundred quite uncomfortable to be honest watching that yeah it's
12:36normal to have so let yourself have any feelings you want to laugh laugh if you want to cry cry it's
12:41all okay this big insecurity I have when it comes to my looks means I can't imagine that someone would
12:49want to be with me in any way where you're so stuck in this mindset that someone would be ashamed to walk
12:56down the street with you it's like a never-ending cycle like a roundabout it doesn't stop when I was
13:03growing up I would always get labeled as the duff which is designated ugly fat friend so I would
13:11always believe that I was ugly so I think there's a lot that I need to work on all right we're gonna come in a
13:23circle big round of applause thank you all bye bye bye
13:32what I got myself into I feel like
13:35I'm in a cult I'd be lying if
13:37I said it wasn't weird they seem cultish it just seems like they've got this island where they live in a
13:44completely different world the up against the wall was interesting by the end I'd love to be
13:49able to do that I could not look after he kicked our legs apart that was too aggressive I think
13:56that's actually the most intimate I've ever seen people in front of you I don't think I was fully
14:03ready for that cuz I'm so shut off to that sort of world I've never felt that sort of emotion I've
14:11walked away feeling really overwhelmed I'm a bit like brain-boggled at the minute the course has
14:17just begun and so far they've only had a taste of the unconventional methods ahead the next
14:22workshop may be tougher and I may actually not be ready for that
14:26it's halfway through day one on Virgin Island coming out as a version is very difficult because I think in
14:50this day and age people see it as such like a negative for men we we hide it if you're a
14:57virgin because mostly because how other men will see them a hundred percent yeah so I told someone
15:02in our office that I'm a virgin and everyone who comes in they tell everyone I wish I was like
15:09to just say yeah I've had lots of the sex people have so much shame about being a virgin I think
15:18between rom-coms and porn there's so much perfectionism that's put out there like it's so
15:24much pressure that they're just terrified to try anything at all that's where we come in
15:30each step of the way the experts will share notes with each other about the group when you did the
15:38up against the wall exercise she started crying and after an emotional reaction during this morning's
15:44workshop their first concern is Emma I could see her face she was like really feeling it really
15:51intense it was too much for her to see it really she was like picturing herself in the situation and
15:56she got very overwhelmed like that was my sense every afternoon there are one-on-one sessions across
16:04the island and first the experts want Emma to explore her boundaries around intimacy with Thomas
16:11during 23 years being single I've never had the experience of someone romantically touching me if I
16:20ever got presented with the situation of sex I would worry that I could have a panic attack
16:26hello okay I've never masturbated and I've never experienced an orgasm there's no way that I could
16:36experience one other thing I want to propose you a little game around touch okay you just ask for the
16:47kind of touch you really like what would make you happy to receive it's not something that I'm like
16:57are I really wish someone would touch me John I don't think yeah maybe yeah maybe you could touch my knee okay
17:07the idea is to test how Emma reacts to escalating touch yeah thank you do you want to try somewhere else where
17:18you feel that might be more like involved maybe if you try upper thigh when it gets to this bit it
17:34gets a little bit like oh god like what's gonna happen sort of thing it feels like you mean you have
17:40some fear I feel like if you went around here I probably would have maybe had a panic attack I did as
17:51much as I could and I pushed myself to my limits for the level that I'm currently at but I don't think I
17:58was really ready for it I I feel quite drained I feel a bit upset well thank you so much and yeah
18:07we'll just come with you I feel she's kind of a bit stuck thank you see you again take care see you
18:16later bye bye she was going through it but really one toe at a time one step at a time Emma's struggling
18:24um hello Charlotte do you want a hug no I'm all right thank you and as some of the others
18:31experienced their first taste of touch therapy what's coming up for you I know it's a simple
18:37thing but like I feel like I'm not doing a bad job it's clear Emma's not the only one finding it
18:44difficult if we go right or close yeah out of a hundred how intimate would you describe it
18:50yeah probably like 90 I think that's why we call it don't step backwards please
18:55but booking the trend is Zach oh come on in I'm so excited as well after throwing himself into the
19:08first workshop the experts want to test how far Zach is ready to go I've always wanted to be accepted
19:15I've always wanted to be liked by others it's something I felt I haven't had at many points
19:20in my life I know you feel also like a failure around sexuality right time yeah it's just it's so hard
19:28to let go of that of course I don't know if I can just have a tissue please wipe these away
19:36sex was a taboo my family never even to this day talks about it I grew up seeing my dad only once a
19:47week and he never talked about it so I can't get tips or ask someone hey how do I attract a woman it
19:56feels like I should have figured out all that out a long time ago also I don't feel attractive or
20:04handsome I assume the way that other people see me it's negative I think generally I want it
20:15playing a fantasy with you Danielle believes her methods can give Zach the confidence he needs
20:23how close that's all right yeah but it's not like any therapy he may have seen before
20:31I'm just gonna kiss you gently and I want you to like see if you can really take it in okay
20:41how does that feel
21:02now I start to feel your arousal oh my god this is so sexy her hands-on technique works by giving
21:19Zach a physical experience I just love how you bite your lip you're doing a form of somatic or touch
21:25therapy somatic therapy believes that just talking with someone is not gonna be sufficient and we
21:39really need to help people through the body in order to really create some sort of change thank you thank
21:47you no one's ever said that I'm sexy no one I'm feeling fuzzy all over in that session alone I've done
22:01things that I've been craving for a long time you go conquer the world I'm making tons of progress
22:07back in the hangout the others are keen to find out more where have you been the one-to-one session
22:17was it good it's pretty intense oh neck kissing do you need a minute
22:22the first day at the retreat has shown just how many issues the group has around sex shame and intimacy
22:35and as the Sun sets on the island oh I can just sensed red Celeste and Danielle have one last exercise
22:47hello so you each brought an item that is about letting go of some piece of shame that you're ready
22:56to be done with and we can't wait to hear your stories they'll each share a story that represents a
23:03past failure in the hope that they can move on I'll go my items about my first year uni um event of a
23:17feeling so my flatmate um so I decided to get her a necklace um but before I could give it to her she
23:24made it very clear you're never gonna be anything um I didn't handle the rejection too well and I just
23:31beat myself up every day about it in terms of how I ended things with her
23:35it's my first ever Rubik's Cube and the way I treat a lot of relationships as a puzzle I think
23:47that gets in the way this is a gift that one of my well my only ex got me I didn't really think it meant
23:56that much and I should have thrown out a while ago this is a hoodie from a time in my life when I I just
24:08felt like really worthless and I didn't see a future for myself this is actually a dive from one of my only
24:18kind of dating relationships that I felt was too much for me at the time and um it's something I really
24:26need to let go of my one's a bit more literal I have expired condoms my mate gave these to me before a house
24:42party and he said you're definitely gonna need these um I didn't I think if anything signifies
24:47sexual failure it's having condoms go out of date
24:49so mine is a childhood photo I felt quite difficult to express emotions while I was this age I was more
25:02of a people pleaser into the point where I'd end up really damaging myself because I was more worried
25:07about their feelings rather than my own but I want to let go of the people pleasing aspects if you
25:15don't love yourself how the hell are you going to love anyone else thank you so much you're amazing
25:21okay well you made us cry this was really deep and really meaningful and we're just so proud of you
25:30amazed actually amazed yeah
25:33how did you feel I wanted to you know say goodbye to it it's like pulling a band-aid off
25:45I walked into it a bit skeptical on how I was gonna feel I'm trying to open myself up to learning new
25:53things but I don't know whether I've achieved a lot but I'm not looking forward to what tomorrow may
26:00hold geez Louise it is an intense day a long day tensions are only gonna get higher yeah
26:09stormy night last night stormy weather I think means upheaval change
26:24morning it's day two at the retreat smoothie it's strawberry milk the morning after last night's
26:36shame exercise how are you guys feeling about the presentation last night I wasn't expecting to be
26:42quite as emotional yeah I didn't really enjoy it now the experts hope the next exercise will move
26:52from shame back to desire we want to see what motivates them around sex and there's nothing
26:59more explicit than writing your erotic story the storm clouds are circling but it's not
27:07just the weather the group embracing themselves far hello okay your next exercise right your hottest sexual
27:22fantasy okay oh my it's a fantasy so let yourself go with it don't hold back okay ciao ciao wonderful to see you oh my god did she say hottest or hardest
27:37hottest oh I'm cross I wanna go inside it's anyone feeling a bit sick about writing this I certainly expect 12 virgins to struggle with writing an erotic story I don't think they will
27:51will have much of a clue about what they want in terms of sexuality but you know we shall see this
27:58needs to have backing music over and it's like bow wow wow Celeste and Danielle want to test how in touch they are with their desires
28:08so far I've got a couple of openings it was a dark and stormy night obviously a classic confident after his one-on-one session with Danielle yesterday Zach is
28:21quick off the mark never before has he been so surprised is my other one I think I'll try that
28:28yeah oh but for others revealing their innermost desires doesn't come easy 50 Shades of Grind stuff I've never
28:40never read that I'm not erotic I have no idea how to write like right now I'm writing I bought a lottery ticket
28:45it's hard to say what my dream would be in a sexual manner when I haven't really been open to having a sexual
28:55manner that makes sense I'm trying to open myself up to learning new things but it's difficult to do
29:03that when you're not happy with yourself I haven't read anything I am a senior parliamentary researcher
29:13for an MP in Parliament I deal with the public and I'm actually in a public speakers club I'm perfectly
29:20comfortable doing that but I thought having sex with just one person for whatever reason that just
29:24really is is quite frightening oh you've written a novel once you get started it's a lot easier right
29:30where's he got an idea I don't even know how I'd write more on the page like John Stewart just pick
29:34a subject and just start from there yeah and then just make it real sexy all right well that's not me
29:41whatever floats your boat you know you're way more confident I am yeah I just this yeah this
29:47is quite scary oh god we're in the amphitheater stories written the experts will watch to see who's embracing
30:00welcome back everyone morning and who's hiding their true desires so we're gonna invite you to share it your
30:12fantasy with us I'm not ready for this anyone want to volunteer to go first take the leap it can be so
30:23empowering I'll go first yeah so my fantasy it started me walking toward my castle as I entered I'm greeted
30:38by Sofia Vergara the Latino lady from modern family she would say how great castle is and how my wife is
30:45a lucky lady I would then proceed to my master bedroom due to hearing my name being called by an
30:50almost angelic voice my wife brackets not married as I don't want to lose the castle in divorce the sex
30:57is unbelievable and the best way to describe it is for you to imagine your very own fantasy and multiply
31:02the pleasure by 10. As more of the group step up we've reached a bit of land covered in rocks fuck
31:13there's our luggage hope she doesn't find my cum socks some are struggling to reveal their desires
31:19instead they're hiding behind humor I didn't even get a chance to write anything because I'd write this
31:26block but you know I thought about it and I'd say I'd be with either Angela Jolie or Anne Hathaway watching
31:30villa when the Champions League you know she'd be just wearing a villa top and that'd be that
31:33others a sigh a kiss hot air against skin fingers dancing across one another the both of us would
31:42enjoy the experience fully seem happier to share their real fantasies and feelings Aphrodite requires
31:49tributes made to her in act of physical love by a devoted a naive nymph we'd head back to my house
31:58and she'd sort of lead me upstairs you know I pick her up take her down on the bed and I'd probably
32:05do something with all her sex I don't know what I'm doing we just naturally start kissing and she'd
32:12bite my lip pull down on it um yeah that's that's what it would be like let's go but it's Zach who has the
32:25most explicit story of all the shadow descended from the top of the hill upon which stood a towering
32:32warrior he removed his helmet to expose his fiery hair a maiden stood forth remove your sandals she
32:39commanded obligingly he knelt down in that moment she lifted her skirt and forced his head between her
32:45knees she let out a moan of pure ecstasy she removed her dress exposing her breasts and naked body the
32:51warrior into that many times the body's becoming one that's just the first chapter anyone else feeling
33:02brave okay yesterday's session with Thomas reveal the extent of Emma's issues around intimacy but her
33:09erotic story could offer more insight
33:11my ideal fantasy would be a person coming into my life unexpected
33:25a genuine honest supportive and kind male with no expectation of me who has a genuine big heart
33:38a love for the world to treat others how we wish to be treated and to be happy I have the
33:43opportunity to grow together you're fantastic really amazing right that was phenomenal
33:53gather your stuff thank you so much thank you thank you amazing I really like jokes when I'm awkward
34:04I'm trying to make jokes my story wasn't very sexual it's how I deal with awkward situations and
34:11things that I don't really know what to do just a defense mechanism for me everyone seemed to laugh at
34:15it in likelihood so it went better than I thought I felt really good actually the story I was telling
34:22showed a lot about myself and you know I can see what experiences I want to have now it was actually a
34:29a little bit of a confidence boost pushing myself and having the courage to go up there and do that
34:36sort of thing they made me feel a lot better afterwards a lot of people say to me oh you look
34:44young I think I'm like 18 19 20 but then I always say oh it's because I never had a boyfriend so I
34:50haven't been stressed out you've never had a boyfriend no no after a successful workshop the
34:58dynamics between the girls and boys seem to be shifting you definitely seem like one of the most
35:04confident of all of us I'd say thank you I've worked very hard to be this confident I uh I think you're
35:13really pretty thank you it's um I don't I don't want to be in the in the sun for too long okay it's
35:20nice having that chat with you do you think Ben likes me I don't love not let him be enough with
35:26you or anyone else no it's just I think he likes me likes me oh like that way oh yeah I don't know
35:32while sparks fly between Ben and Charlotte not everyone is finding island life quite so easy
35:42I think Jason needs a lot of like basic this is how you do this this is how you do this it just
35:51it's going to take time for him to to feel the empowerment around touching other people I think
35:56weirdly enough my sex education because I've moved to school I've missed the sex ed week so
36:02basically safe parks my sex education I've never touched a condom the only thing I could know about
36:08a woman's and I mean stuff would be on from TV and the internet that kind of thing if it was a game
36:14I'm level one at intimacy I'd love to be able to level up in a way sound like a verity explaining that
36:21oh god come on in so the experts have planned a session on the basics of touch with Celeste
36:28I've never really been able to be a touchy-feely person yeah my family's like that though like my
36:34mom she's never been a touchy huggy person but I know she loves me I love her but we can't do hugs
36:39it's just not in our nature I want to try putting my hand on top of your hand and see how that feels
36:45more more intimate exactly so I could scooch to you after this morning's workshop Celeste wants
36:52to learn more about the real Jason behind the humor let's take some steps you know yeah and we can see
36:58like do you like putting your hand on mine do you like me putting my hand on yours for example
37:02so you want to start with like just yeah just put it like that yeah is it okay like is the sensation
37:09feel good it's okay yeah yeah all right okay so can we try it where I put my hand on your hand
37:15okay yeah I feel like because it's happening to me it's like a little overwhelming yeah yeah
37:27feeling uncomfortable receiving touch when I work in like offices and so I'm a bit worried I'm a bit
37:33too firm with handshakes Jason takes matters into his own hands right like that that feels good
37:44is that okay I would even like let our palms touch a little bit more okay like that do you feel like
37:53yeah yeah on safer territory it feels so limp you can give a little bit more pressure one more yeah
38:01let's do it Jason's flying like that that was beautiful success I'll show you myself because
38:08I had no idea what I was in for but I think it's just getting more intimate with touch I want to be
38:16improved I want to be cured who wants a butt plug I don't want to touch it I don't think this has been
38:31inside I don't know if it's been inside anyone to encourage the group to broaden their sexual horizons
38:37come more butt plugs I could be like Wolverine the experts have handed over a box of sex toys oh these
38:44are fun if I took your butt and you fart enough power could you actually like blow it out and left them
38:52to explore who wants to be tied up you know you'd be in a bed and this would be tight you just help
39:00reinforce for me when I have sex it's gonna be vanilla just vanilla sex for me I'm gonna leave you like that
39:06now
39:08he wants the feather yeah how does it feel so you feel like me struck by chicken chicken I want to
39:21lose my virginity or to retreat absolutely all of the shame and the self criticisms that come being a
39:29virgin my hope would be that afterwards they that would be gone because you're not anymore you don't
39:34have to put this label on yourself anymore
39:37hello hello so far Zach is adapting quickly to the course comfortable with hugs absolutely yeah yeah
39:48yeah Zach is starting to stand taller he's more confident please have a seat and after our last
39:57session I think is ready for most advanced therapy working with a surrogate partner a highly trained
40:05therapist able to have sex with a client today I'm here to give you the introduction into surrogate
40:12partner therapy what my role is what Kat's role is and you know a little bit about how this process works
40:19surrogate partner therapy has been around for quite a while and it involved a therapist a client and a
40:28surrogate partner it starts pretty slow with clothes on embodiment exercises just while we're kind of like
40:33getting used to getting used to each other and I can learn what you like and vice versa the surrogate is helping them explore what it feels like to take your clothes off with someone what it feels like to touch someone in an erotic way and can go all the way to a
40:48can go all the way to a full sexual experience as you're comfortable with we'll move to more organic encounters kissing oral intercourse it will eventually feel like just practicing different sexual skills that's the gist yeah cool
41:04yeah got it this is a container for you to practice a relationship and so I am a licensed mental health clinician
41:13you will be working with me with regards to like any emotions that come up and that's
41:18like my side of the street got it I'm gonna let the two of you have the remainder of the session
41:23all right I will see you guys soon take care bye
41:26is there anything you want to talk about before we move to some body work
41:32I don't think so no okay I'm gonna have you lie down
41:37mm-hmm so I'm gonna touch you first and I'm only gonna touch your arm and I'm gonna use my hands my arms my face and my hair if that's okay yeah
41:55I think it's really important to teach people how to have sex teaching like really basic relationship skills
42:02when clothes come off things get more erotic helping people be human again it makes me want to do my job
42:10while sex is the ultimate aim
42:15that must build a connection with cat before getting to that level
42:19how was that
42:29it was good I was tingly
42:32in a good way
42:33yeah
42:34are you ready to switch
42:35mm-hmm
42:36yep
42:36let's go
42:47a surrogate partner bond
42:48and really make sure you're feeling what feels good
42:52takes time to nurture like any relationship
42:58we're done
43:06you're done
43:07yeah yeah
43:08what came up just then that made you feel like stopping
43:13I think you know touching your arm is great
43:18it feels amazing it's just obviously I want more
43:22okay but it's a process
43:24you know like that I wouldn't do more than that on a first session with anybody
43:27yeah
43:28the speed of the surrogate program doesn't seem to be moving fast enough
43:32for Zach
43:32so how far are you wanting to go with surrogate partner therapy
43:35I would like to go all the way I would love to have sex with you you know that's why I came here really
43:41yeah
43:41it's hard to connect with someone you know it's hard to connect with someone you just met telling you hey
43:45I'm your surrogate you will be eventually maybe if you want having sex with me
43:49okay so let's stand up
43:50let's just shake it off
43:53but I do think I'll be able to lose my virginity
43:57you know have sex with Kat eventually
44:00I would like to
44:02how was it yeah so we were doing arm touching like
44:10it was intense like I didn't realize like I would have that strong of a reaction to be honest
44:14you know maybe I'll lose my virginity very soon
44:17but yeah very positive experience I think
44:24ready guys
44:26oh we're down here with a big fire
44:28after two days at the retreat
44:30the first phase of the course is drawing to a close
44:34shame bonfire is a culmination of everything that we've done in the first phase
44:40it's a chance for them to get rid of their shame items from yesterday and move on
44:46we're going to call you up one at a time
44:52to let these old stories about yourself and these old ways of being and thinking go
44:57and I am so delighted for you
45:00okay
45:02are you ready to let it go?
45:05yes
45:06let it go
45:07let it go
45:09let it go
45:10let it go
45:14the act of burning something is the act of letting go and saying I can change now
45:20ready
45:21let it go
45:22let it go
45:22it felt really good to be able to release all my feelings into the fire
45:26I feel a lot more confident
45:29it's like a whole refresh of emotions
45:32let it go
45:34let it go
45:35let it go
45:37I was stuck in a rut
45:39I was stuck in my way of thinking
45:41and I think this is my opportunity now to really change that
45:45I'm keen to fill in more of the gaps
45:49let it go
45:51next time
45:55you're quite attractive so I mean you know
45:57things heat up on the touch phase of the course
45:59there's another animal here with you on this rug
46:05it was like watching it pull though
46:09as emotions bubble over
46:11I just don't want anyone to touch me
46:13I just have one minute
46:15when things turn physical
46:20I can't touch you
46:22you care
46:22so that's tomorrow at nine
46:32or if you just can't wait
46:33get immediate satisfaction by streaming it now
46:36although it's a marathon not a sprint
46:38turning their hand to whatever comes up next
46:41we're back on the beat
46:42with the night
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