- 7/17/2025
What We Do in the Shadows (2014) is a clever mockumentary comedy that follows a group of eccentric roommates trying to adapt to modern life—with an unusual twist. Directed by Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement, the film humorously captures their everyday struggles, house rules, and adventures in the city. With a unique blend of wit, charm, and satire, it’s a refreshingly original take on friendship and fitting in.
What We Do in the Shadows, What We Do in the Shadows (2014), Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement, comedy movie, mockumentary film, 2014 movies, clever humor, modern life satire, cult comedy, New Zealand film, roommates story, quirky characters, indie comedy, original concept, full movie
What We Do in the Shadows, What We Do in the Shadows (2014), Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement, comedy movie, mockumentary film, 2014 movies, clever humor, modern life satire, cult comedy, New Zealand film, roommates story, quirky characters, indie comedy, original concept, full movie
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CreativityTranscript
00:01:30So it's 6 p.m. in the nighttime, which is when I wake up.
00:01:53This is always a really scary part for me.
00:02:02Yes! Nighttime.
00:02:04So now I'm going to wake up my flatmates.
00:02:10I really love living in a flatting situation.
00:02:12Wake up! Wake up, everyone!
00:02:15I like to hang out with other vampires.
00:02:19I like the company.
00:02:22Awake, Clint! Awakey, wakey!
00:02:26I just really like having a good time with my friends.
00:02:30Peek, Clint. Hi.
00:02:33Hey, Peek, Clint.
00:02:34How was your night last night?
00:02:39I transformed into a dog and had sex.
00:02:42Cool.
00:02:43We're going to have a little flat meeting in the kitchen in about 15 minutes, okay?
00:02:48Okay.
00:02:49Okay.
00:02:50Should I close this?
00:02:51Yes.
00:02:53Vladislav!
00:02:55Oh!
00:02:56Sorry!
00:02:57Sorry!
00:03:03What?
00:03:04Hey.
00:03:04What time is it?
00:03:07We're going to have a flat meeting in about 10 minutes.
00:03:1020.
00:03:11Okay.
00:03:11Is it...
00:03:12So, uh, in Peter's room, I'm just going to wake him up.
00:03:34Peter.
00:03:50Peter.
00:03:52Peter.
00:03:56Peter, wake up.
00:04:01Hey, listen.
00:04:01We're just having a flat meeting upstairs in about 10 minutes.
00:04:05You don't have to come, but I thought I'd extend an invitation to you just in case.
00:04:11Um, there's a lot of stuff on the floor down here, Peter.
00:04:16And, like, these things, I don't...
00:04:18Oh, it's a spinal column.
00:04:20Yuck.
00:04:21And I was thinking maybe I should just bring a broom down here for you if you wanted to sweep
00:04:26up some of the skeletons.
00:04:29I don't know.
00:04:30You know, maybe...
00:04:31Okay.
00:04:35I got you this chicken.
00:04:41Is Peter coming?
00:04:42Should we be great?
00:04:43Peter is 8,000 years old.
00:04:45We're not going to have Peter at the meeting.
00:04:47Okay, so, I wanted to have a quick chat about flat responsibilities because, uh, guys, I think
00:04:55that we're not all pulling our weight here.
00:04:57We're not just pointing the finger at you, Deacon.
00:05:00You're a cool guy, but you're not pulling your weight in the flat.
00:05:03Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool.
00:05:07No, that's not the point, though.
00:05:08Yeah, no, I know.
00:05:09Not the flat meeting about how cool you are.
00:05:12I do my flat chores.
00:05:13No, you don't.
00:05:13Yes, I do.
00:05:14You don't.
00:05:14Just why we're having the flat meeting.
00:05:16The point is, Deacon, that you have not done the dishes for five years.
00:05:19Vladislav is right.
00:05:21It's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over this bench like this.
00:05:25I'm so embarrassed when people come over here.
00:05:27Well, what does it matter?
00:05:28You bring them over, you kill them.
00:05:31Vampires don't do dishes.
00:05:33Deacon's like the rebellious young vampire.
00:05:36He's always doing crazy things, saying crazy things.
00:05:40He's just like the young bad boy of the group.
00:05:44Okay, so, one day I was selling my wares, and I walked past this old creepy castle, and
00:05:54I look at it and think, very old and creepy, and then this creature flies at me.
00:06:03It dragged me back to this dark dungeon and bit into my neck, and just at the point of death,
00:06:11this creature forced me to suck its foul blood, and then it opened its wings like this and hovered
00:06:20above me, screeching.
00:06:25Now you are vampire.
00:06:29And it was Peter.
00:06:33And we're still friends today.
00:06:35Vlad, you were great.
00:06:36You put out the recycling, which was really cool.
00:06:40And, the other day, I dragged the man's body down the hallway, and noticed that there was
00:06:46no dust.
00:06:49Like, I kind of swept the hallway.
00:06:52Vladislav is just like this older vampire who grew up in the medieval times, and, you
00:06:58know, to be living this long, and to see the things that he's seen, and still, like, kind
00:07:05of have it together.
00:07:07I mean, hats off to him.
00:07:08Vlad, help!
00:07:11Sorry!
00:07:12He's a really great guy.
00:07:14A bit of a pervert.
00:07:16He has some pretty old ideas about things.
00:07:19But we should get some slaves.
00:07:21When I first became a vampire, I was quite tyrannical.
00:07:27I was known for torturing a lot of people.
00:07:34This is my torture chamber.
00:07:37I don't come in here often anymore.
00:07:41I tended to torture when I was in a bad place.
00:07:45My thing was I would poke someone with implements.
00:07:49I was known as Vladislav the Booker.
00:07:55It's been like this the whole time, okay, so...
00:07:58Viago is a little pedantic.
00:08:01The washing and the rubbish.
00:08:03I did that deacon on dishes, and it still hasn't moved in five years.
00:08:07He was an 18th century dandy, so he can be very fussy.
00:08:13Nags and nags.
00:08:14I went in the lounge yesterday, and there was blood all over my nice antique...
00:08:18...couch.
00:08:20Which one, the red one?
00:08:21Well, it's red now, yeah.
00:08:23If you're going to eat a victim on my nice green couch, put down some newspaper on the floor,
00:08:28and some towels.
00:08:29It's not hard to do.
00:08:30We're vampires.
00:08:31We don't put down towels.
00:08:33Some vampires do.
00:08:35We're not serious ones.
00:08:37When you get the four vampires in a flat, obviously there's going to be a lot of tension.
00:08:44There's tension in any, any flatting situation.
00:08:47It's settled then.
00:08:48We'll all do our jobs, starting with a certain deacon.
00:08:52I will do my dishes.
00:08:54It's good to do that.
00:08:54Shh.
00:08:55Shh.
00:08:56Shh.
00:08:57Shh.
00:08:58Shh.
00:09:15This bullshit.
00:09:16Don't sing if you want to live long.
00:09:17They have a good feeling.
00:09:18Don't sing if you want to live long.
00:09:19Don't sing if you want to live long.
00:09:20They have no use for your song.
00:09:22You're dead, you're dead.
00:09:23Let's sing if you want to live long.
00:09:49You're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, and out of this world.
00:09:55I became a vampire when I was 16, and that is why I always looked 16.
00:10:02In those days, of course, life was tough for a 16-year-old.
00:10:06You'll never get a second chance, plan all your moves in advance.
00:10:12Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead, stay dead, and out of this world.
00:10:17Vampires have had a pretty bad rap.
00:10:20We're not these mopey old creatures who live in castles.
00:10:25And, well, most of us are, a lot are.
00:10:27But there are also those of us who like to flat together in really small countries like New Zealand.
00:10:33Don't ever talk with your eyes, make sure that you compromise.
00:10:39You're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, and out of this world.
00:10:43I was a Nazi vampire.
00:10:45After the war, which the Nazis lost, I don't know if you know that the Nazis lost that war.
00:11:00If you were a Nazi after the war, and if you were a vampire,
00:11:05And if you were a Nazi vampire, no way, I was out of there.
00:11:14Long gone, long gone, long gone, long gone, long gone, and out of this world.
00:11:31When you smile and it tears your face, it's time for the inhuman race.
00:11:37You're down, you're down, you're down, you're down, you're down, and out of this world.
00:11:42Yes, I came to this country for love.
00:12:01There was a girl, human girl, and I thought she was fantastic.
00:12:09She was absolutely amazing.
00:12:11I was smitten.
00:12:13Her family emigrated to New Zealand, and I thought, you know what, to hell with it.
00:12:20I'm going to go.
00:12:21I'm going to chase her and tell her how I feel.
00:12:24I told my servant, Philip, send me to New Zealand.
00:12:28He put the wrong postage on my coffin, so the whole journey took about 18 months.
00:12:37And when I got here, she had found someone else.
00:12:42She had fallen in love, and she was married.
00:12:58She gave me this before she left.
00:13:03There she is.
00:13:06That's me.
00:13:07I put myself in there, too.
00:13:09She told me it was pure silver.
00:13:13Unfortunately, we vampires cannot wear silver.
00:13:18It's about as long as I can wear that.
00:13:43It's about as long as I can wear that.
00:13:50The New Zealand
00:13:51The New Zealand
00:13:53The New Zealand
00:14:04Tonight, we are going out into Wellington Central.
00:14:05It is important that we look good.
00:14:06Yes, really good.
00:14:07Tonight we are going out into Wellington Central.
00:14:14It is important that we look good.
00:14:16Yeah, it's really good.
00:14:17Yeah, I like it.
00:14:18One of the unfortunate things about not having a reflection
00:14:21is that you don't know exactly what you look like.
00:14:25Ooh, look!
00:14:28A ghost cap!
00:14:30Floating all by itself!
00:14:33We can give each other feedback and help each other out
00:14:37until we're looking great.
00:14:39Yeah, some of our clothes are from victims.
00:14:41You might bite someone and then you think,
00:14:44Ooh, those are some nice pants.
00:14:46Do with these!
00:14:47No! Change it.
00:14:48When you're a vampire, you become very sexy.
00:14:55We are trying to attract victims to us.
00:14:58Not sure about the waistcoat.
00:14:59I go for a look which I call dead but delicious.
00:15:03We are the bait but we are also the trap.
00:15:07Hello, ladies.
00:15:08And Bala! We are ready to go to town and party!
00:15:13Vampire style!
00:15:14going to town and party!
00:15:15Vampire style!
00:15:16And voila, we are ready to go into town and party.
00:15:34Vampire style.
00:15:35Vampire style.
00:15:36Vampire style.
00:15:38When we go into town, we must try to blend in.
00:15:48We started walking yesterday.
00:15:50Coming into town, it's really cool because just for one brief moment, I feel-
00:15:55HUMO!
00:15:56The trouble with being a vampire is you have to be invited in to go to the
00:16:08bar, please.
00:16:09Invite us into the bar.
00:16:10Please.
00:16:11Invite us in!
00:16:12If the humans found out what we were, they would destroy us.
00:16:21There are between 60 and 70 vampires in the greater Wellington region.
00:16:27Yuli.
00:16:28Hello.
00:16:29I'm thirsty.
00:16:30He's a guy I used to work with when I was human.
00:16:33Gone?
00:16:34Yeah, he's gone.
00:16:35I've been drowning him all night.
00:16:37I've been a very thirsty girl.
00:16:38Hey guys.
00:16:39Being bitten as a little boy or a little girl, you're always going to look the same age.
00:16:43What are you doing tonight?
00:16:44You're going to kill some perverts?
00:16:45Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile.
00:16:46Cool.
00:16:47Yeah.
00:16:48Okay.
00:16:49Let's just go, please.
00:16:50Have a good night, guys.
00:16:51Yeah, have a good night.
00:16:52We, Kumara, is vampire owned and operated and so we can always get in.
00:16:56It's the hottest night spot for vampires in Wellington.
00:17:02Thanks.
00:17:11Perhaps you could bring some people to the house.
00:17:13Sure.
00:17:14Perhaps some virgins.
00:17:15Virgins?
00:17:16Yep.
00:17:17Okay.
00:17:18Maybe some ladies.
00:17:19Yep.
00:17:20Ladies.
00:17:21Perhaps a guy.
00:17:22One of each.
00:17:23One of each would be cool.
00:17:24My relationship with Deakin is, well, I'm his familiar.
00:17:25He's my master.
00:17:26He tells me what to do.
00:17:27I do it.
00:17:28We have that kind of master-servant relationship which works nicely, actually.
00:17:29Hello.
00:17:30Hello.
00:17:31Oh, it's a little bit of blood.
00:17:32Um, my husband, he's a haemophiliac.
00:17:33Oh, okay.
00:17:34You know, someone that bleeds a lot.
00:17:35Yep.
00:17:36Any kind of age range?
00:17:37Young.
00:17:38But not, not kids.
00:17:39Not kids.
00:17:40Okay.
00:17:4118 to 30.
00:17:42Okay.
00:17:43Okay.
00:17:44Okay.
00:17:45Okay.
00:17:46Okay.
00:17:47Okay.
00:17:48Okay.
00:17:49Okay.
00:17:50Okay.
00:17:51Okay.
00:17:52Okay.
00:17:53Okay.
00:17:54Okay.
00:17:55Okay.
00:17:56So, it's a dinner party.
00:17:57I'll be there.
00:17:58Yes.
00:17:59Dinner party.
00:18:00The guys will be there.
00:18:01Yes.
00:18:02We'll all be there.
00:18:03We'll dress up.
00:18:04Okay, great.
00:18:05And then eat them.
00:18:06Okay.
00:18:07Should be fun.
00:18:08Great.
00:18:09I was just wondering if we could talk about the...
00:18:11Do you know of a night dentist?
00:18:13Because I have this thing here.
00:18:14I was just wondering if we could talk about the...
00:18:16The deal?
00:18:17Hmm?
00:18:18The deal?
00:18:19The dishes?
00:18:20No, the...
00:18:21You know, the...
00:18:22The...
00:18:23The...
00:18:24The dishes?
00:18:25The deal is that he is going to give me eternal life.
00:18:31Um, which is...
00:18:34Very exciting.
00:18:35Well, I just feel like I've kind of reached my potential and I wouldn't want to kind of
00:18:38get any older before, kind of...
00:18:40I just feel like I'm the best version of myself that I can be.
00:18:42Yeah, the blacks.
00:18:43It's just that it's been four and a half years and I just...
00:18:45But it's doing your pot plants and doing your dry cleaning.
00:18:47I'm now doing your dishes and I'm doing...
00:18:49And the dentist.
00:18:50And the dentist.
00:18:51And it's just taking an awful long time, so I was just wondering...
00:18:53Be gone.
00:18:54Okay.
00:18:55I'll see you later.
00:18:56Okay.
00:18:57One of the most unfortunate things about being a vampire is that...
00:19:14You have to drink human blood.
00:19:16I like to make a real evening of it.
00:19:18Lovely.
00:19:19Play some music.
00:19:21Maybe give them some nice wine.
00:19:23It's their last moment alive, so why not make it a nice experience?
00:19:27So...
00:19:28Tell me what you do.
00:19:29What do you...
00:19:30I'm thinking about going to uni, actually.
00:19:31Oh, you are?
00:19:32Oh...
00:19:33University.
00:19:34Yeah.
00:19:35Yeah, but after that I'm going to travel.
00:19:36Yeah.
00:19:37Really wanted to go overseas for ages, so...
00:19:38I'm saving up and I'm going to go to Spain and Italy and London and...
00:19:41Yeah.
00:19:42Yeah.
00:19:43Okay.
00:19:44Excuse me.
00:19:45Just put that there.
00:19:46There you go.
00:19:47there you go.
00:20:07There you go.
00:20:09Ah.
00:20:10Ah.
00:20:11Ah!
00:20:12Ah!
00:20:13Ah!
00:20:14Ah!
00:20:15Ah!
00:20:16Shit!
00:20:25Well, that didn't go so great.
00:20:28I hit the main artery.
00:20:31So, yeah, it's a real mess in there.
00:20:35On the upside, I think she had a really good time.
00:20:46So, it's quite late, and I've managed to find a woman up watching television,
00:21:03and she seems like she'd be a good victim.
00:21:07I'm just going to use hypnosis on her.
00:21:12See me.
00:21:16See me.
00:21:20She can't see me from that angle.
00:21:23Vladislav used to be extremely powerful.
00:21:26He could hypnotize crowds of people.
00:21:29Great orgies.
00:21:30Twenty, thirty women.
00:21:32He could turn into all sorts of animals,
00:21:34but now he never gets the faces right.
00:21:36He would kill anybody.
00:21:38Man, woman, children, burning, everything.
00:21:42It's totally great.
00:21:44But he suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of his arch-nemesis,
00:21:50the Beast.
00:21:52And he's never been the same.
00:22:02See me.
00:22:04See me.
00:22:06See me.
00:22:09See me.
00:22:12See me.
00:22:14Would you like to come inside?
00:22:18Oh, Jackie, welcome.
00:22:32Hello.
00:22:33Come in.
00:22:34This is Nick, ex-ex-boyfriend.
00:22:49And Josephine.
00:22:50And this is Deakin, my overseas friend from Europe.
00:22:53Deakin and his friends need victims.
00:22:56Hi.
00:22:58Please, come in. Welcome.
00:23:00They can't be people that I actually invest in or like
00:23:06because, of course, they will become victims.
00:23:08Hi.
00:23:09Josephine?
00:23:10No, I sat next to you in English.
00:23:12Remember?
00:23:13You used to call me the Jaxasist.
00:23:15No, you did.
00:23:16No, you did.
00:23:17Yeah.
00:23:18No, you started that.
00:23:19You were the one that started calling me that,
00:23:21and then it kind of caught on.
00:23:23Yeah.
00:23:24Okay, bye then.
00:23:26Bye.
00:23:27Shazam.
00:23:33Do you like that, Nick?
00:23:34Yep.
00:23:35I will go and prepare dinner.
00:23:41Please.
00:23:44Nick, are you a virgin at all?
00:23:47What?
00:23:48Doesn't seem like...
00:23:49Are you a virgin?
00:23:51Yes.
00:23:52No.
00:23:53You were a virgin when we were seeing each other?
00:23:55Yeah, I was 12.
00:23:56You said he was a virgin.
00:23:58I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.
00:24:02I think of it like this.
00:24:04If you were going to eat a sandwich,
00:24:07you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
00:24:11Let's concentrate on Josephine then.
00:24:13Are you a virgin?
00:24:14I'm not, no.
00:24:15Okay, I'm really sorry.
00:24:16Because I totally pinned her as a virgin.
00:24:17She looks like a virgin.
00:24:18She talks like a virgin.
00:24:19I mean, who would have sex with her?
00:24:20I wouldn't.
00:24:21I would.
00:24:22Two dinners.
00:24:23Yum.
00:24:24Nick, do you like biscotti?
00:24:25Uh, yep, usually like it.
00:24:26But it'd be better if it was warm.
00:24:27So this is my favourite trick.
00:24:28We present our guests with a plate of biscotti.
00:24:32And then I will say, why don't you eat some biscotti?
00:24:35Please, Nick, eat some biscotti.
00:24:38Please, Nick, eat some biscotti.
00:24:40I didn't realise you enjoyed eating worms, Nick.
00:24:41No, no, they are worm-offs.
00:24:42There's worms wiggling around in my plate.
00:24:43It is worm-like, but it's not actually worms.
00:24:44It's not really biscotti.
00:24:45It's not really biscotti.
00:24:46It's not really biscotti.
00:24:47I do like it.
00:24:48But it would be better if it was warm.
00:24:49So this is my favourite trick.
00:24:50We present our guests with a plate of biscotti.
00:24:53And then I will say, why don't you eat some biscotti?
00:24:55Please, Nick, eat some biscotti.
00:24:58I didn't realise you enjoyed eating worms, Nick.
00:25:01No, no.
00:25:02They are worm-offs.
00:25:04Sweet.
00:25:05There's worms wiggling around in my plate.
00:25:07It is worm-like, but it's not actually worm-like.
00:25:08It's just merely biscotti.
00:25:09We stole that idea from the Lost Boys.
00:25:12But I put a nice twist on it.
00:25:14Nick, how does it feel to have a snake for a penis?
00:25:20Jackie, my penis has disappeared.
00:25:22There's a cobra cell.
00:25:23No one's going to mistake your penis for a cobra neck.
00:25:25Okay, I believe you, Nick.
00:25:26What are you doing with my spaghetti?
00:25:27No, it is just a normal penis.
00:25:29I'm out.
00:25:30I'm out.
00:25:31Josephine, you like biscotti?
00:25:38Look, look, this freaks.
00:25:39I'll bite my spaghetti, make my cock turn into a snake.
00:25:42It's not cool.
00:25:43Not cool.
00:25:51You don't think this is weird?
00:25:53For fuck's sake.
00:25:55Oh, fuck.
00:25:56Yeah, that's weird.
00:25:57Jacky!
00:25:58Jacky!
00:25:59Jacky!
00:26:00Jacky!
00:26:01Sorry, Nick.
00:26:02What are you doing?
00:26:03Jacky!
00:26:04Jacky!
00:26:05Oh!
00:26:06Jacky!
00:26:07Jacky!
00:26:08Jacky!
00:26:12Jacky!
00:26:13Jacky!
00:26:14Jacky!
00:26:15Jacky!
00:26:16Jacky!
00:26:18Orご!
00:26:19Fuck off.
00:26:49Where am I?
00:27:19Freak!
00:27:29Oh, no.
00:27:40Peter got in.
00:27:42Poor guy.
00:27:44Who let Peter out?
00:27:49Oh, no.
00:27:54Oh, no.
00:27:59Oh, no.
00:28:04Oh, no.
00:28:10Oh, no.
00:28:23Oh, no.
00:28:25Hey what are you doing what are you doing Nick coming to the house
00:28:55Hi my name is Nick, I've been a vampire for two months
00:29:00Probably I reckon the best thing about being a vampire is flying
00:29:04Like I've always wanted to, I think everyone's always wanted to fly and now I can do it
00:29:19Nick, why don't you use the front door?
00:29:22Why would I? I'm flying
00:29:24Peter bit me, sucked all my blood out, I woke up in his basement and he offered me some blood
00:29:30I just thought it was something, some German thing that these guys do
00:29:34The transition into becoming a vampire was pretty hard
00:29:37I looked like shit to start off with, like I had a massive gash in my neck
00:29:42Like you could see the inside of my neck, had blood all over my top
00:29:46And then I came home and I was sweating, I was either really hot or really cold
00:29:50It was like a hangover times 10 I reckon, it was really bad
00:29:59It was quite similar to having the flu
00:30:01Except the only difference would probably be that my eyes bled heaps
00:30:05Are you guys not cold?
00:30:08I don't know, I can't really explain it
00:30:10Like it's just, yeah, just real hot and cold and like bloody eyes and flying and stuff
00:30:15The neighbours can see you flying around the house
00:30:18Do you want to draw attention to this house, hmm?
00:30:20You've got a whole documentary crew following you around
00:30:22I'm doing an erotic dance for my friends and you ruined it
00:30:26I was in the zone, my friends are loving it
00:30:28I love it, I saw the end of it, it looked great
00:30:30I don't know if I'm accepted yet
00:30:33But I don't know, I think it's getting there
00:30:35I know they're old and stuff but they're quite naive when it comes to the real world
00:30:39So, I don't know, I'd be cool to just hang out with them, they can teach me some stuff
00:30:44I can probably teach them a few things
00:30:54At the start I was like, oh no, like I'm dead
00:30:57It's kind of affected my friendship with normal people, my family and stuff
00:31:01But the way I see it, I've got a whole new family
00:31:04They accept me for who I am and I accept them for who they are
00:31:09Even though, one of them killed me
00:31:11Where shall we go tonight?
00:31:13Let's go to the big kumana
00:31:15Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland?
00:31:16We never get into Boogie Wonderland
00:31:17My friend Richie's a bouncer, he can get us in
00:31:20What? Really? He'll invite us in
00:31:21Stu's king
00:31:23Stu loves it
00:31:23Of course, that's too
00:31:25Uh, this is my friend Stu
00:31:27Hey, he works in computers and stuff
00:31:29Originally he went out with my sister
00:31:31And then they broke up
00:31:33I don't really get into it
00:31:34It's not got nothing to do with me
00:31:36And um, you can't hear me
00:31:38So basically, Stu doesn't know that I'm a vampire
00:31:44And he doesn't know that my friends are vampires
00:31:46He just thinks that I've met some colourful friends
00:31:49This is Jasmine
00:31:50I brought him around to the house and they all thought I'd bought a meal for everyone
00:31:55Just like, it really, really sucks that I can't eat him
00:31:59I just wanna like, ahhh
00:32:02Look at it, he's the reddest guy I know
00:32:05Alright, you can hear me
00:32:07Yeah, like computer-based stuff, eh, mainly
00:32:09Yeah, yeah, yeah, geodatabases
00:32:11Yeah, yeah, like computers mainly
00:32:13Let's have a vote for Boogie Wonderland on the big kumala
00:32:17I don't think Nick should have been turned into a vampire
00:32:31He's such a big
00:32:33How are you, brother?
00:32:34Looking great, man
00:32:35Gentlemen
00:32:36You are most welcome
00:32:38Thank you, Ben
00:32:40We're in Boogie Wonderland
00:32:48So here we are at Boogie Wonderland
00:32:51And it is so much fun
00:32:54They have an electric store
00:32:56This is amazing!
00:32:57I'm just so happy to be here
00:32:59This place is pretty cheesy
00:33:01Also, did you see the jacket he wore?
00:33:03He's wearing the same jacket as me
00:33:06It's not exactly the same
00:33:08It's pretty close
00:33:15What?
00:33:15Awesome life
00:33:16I'm just loving being a vampire, man
00:33:24I'm here with the Fett Lady's Arms
00:33:26On Wednesdays they do like a Fear Factor competition
00:33:29You can win like t-shirts and hats and spot prizes
00:33:32I can smell werewolves
00:33:34We're just about to walk past the werewolves
00:33:37So some shit might go down
00:33:38Look out, guys
00:33:39Don't catch fleas
00:33:41What's that, mate?
00:33:42Deca
00:33:42Sorry, what?
00:33:43Keep going, keep walking, keep walking
00:33:44What? We heard though, mate
00:33:45We've got sensitive hearing
00:33:46Have you?
00:33:47Yeah
00:33:47What are you filming?
00:33:48This is a music video, is it?
00:33:49We don't want any trouble
00:33:51I do
00:33:52Why did you start it?
00:33:53Have I got your hackles up, huh?
00:33:54Why don't you go smell your own crotches, huh?
00:33:56What are you talking about?
00:33:57What are you talking about?
00:33:58We don't smell our own crotches
00:33:59We smell each other's crotches
00:34:01And it's a form of greeting
00:34:03You're on camera, mate
00:34:04Don't, don't do it
00:34:05What? It's okay
00:34:06Because I know this guy
00:34:07It's Count Fagula
00:34:08Hey, hey, hey, hey
00:34:10Don't swear
00:34:11Sorry, they, they
00:34:12We're werewolves
00:34:13What are we?
00:34:14Werewolves, not swears
00:34:16It's a very offensive word
00:34:18It's a very offensive word
00:34:19Well, unless you're talking about a bundle of sticks
00:34:22This bundle of sticks
00:34:23Werewolves
00:34:24Don't get it
00:34:25It's not real
00:34:26Nathan, it's not real
00:34:27He's just gonna take off his gloves
00:34:28Alright
00:34:29Oh shit
00:34:30Oh, man, what the fuck you do that for?
00:34:31Hey
00:34:32That was...
00:34:33Don't swear
00:34:34We're gonna lose it
00:34:35We're gonna lose it
00:34:36Whoa, whoa, whoa
00:34:37Calm down
00:34:38Do the breathing, do the breathing, do the breathing, count to ten, count to ten, human again, count to ten, human again, it's alright, it's not full moon, thanks a lot guys, enjoy your night, you ashamed yourselves man, great, we didn't want this to happen.
00:34:58Hey, say it, don't spray it bitch.
00:35:08Why are you swearing all the time?
00:35:11Well they actually werewolves.
00:35:13Are you ok still?
00:35:15I just don't really know how to approach this because I've never done it before.
00:35:22Um, and he was a good friend and I don't want to, I don't want to break that friendship but, then again, what do you do when someone tells you that they're a vampire?
00:35:32I'm expecting him to be angry, he might be scared, I'm expecting a lot of things to bubble to the surface.
00:35:39You've probably noticed there's been, I've been going through a few changes lately.
00:35:45Yeah.
00:35:46Yeah?
00:35:47Yeah.
00:35:48Like, I don't show up for lunch anymore.
00:35:51Yeah.
00:35:52And how I've changed all our tennis games to night time tennis games.
00:35:57Right.
00:35:58And how you went from beating me every time and how I've won the last three.
00:36:05Yeah.
00:36:06So, the reason I brought you here is to tell you that I'm a vampire.
00:36:15Stew took it pretty well.
00:36:20He's definitely my best mate.
00:36:21And I'm not going to eat him.
00:36:23If they ever offer you spaghetti, um, you shouldn't eat it.
00:36:27I think they offered me biscotti.
00:36:30Vampire mates don't eat human mates.
00:36:33And no matter how much I wanted to eat him, I would never eat him because he's my mate.
00:36:37Hey, Stew.
00:36:38Yeah.
00:36:39Yeah.
00:36:40Stew is great.
00:36:45We really like him.
00:36:48At first I wanted to kill him, but now I'm glad I spent the time to get to know him.
00:36:54Yeah, of course he looks delicious with his big red cheeks, but we've all got an agreement
00:37:00that we're not going to eat Stew, right?
00:37:03Right.
00:37:04The guys upstairs, they're loving him.
00:37:07At the start they were a bit, oh, who's this human you bring into the house?
00:37:10But it took them literally two minutes and they like him more than they like me, I reckon.
00:37:14I am knitting a scarf for Stew.
00:37:17Try and attack.
00:37:18Use your legs.
00:37:20Wow.
00:37:21Step back and roll up high.
00:37:23Okay, I'm punching high.
00:37:25Yep.
00:37:26High.
00:37:27Yep.
00:37:28I'm just, what I'm trying to say is, because I know that you, you turned me into a vampire.
00:37:33Maybe don't do that to him.
00:37:35He's a vegetarian.
00:37:37The last thing he'd want to do is eat a live being or eat blood or eat meat.
00:37:42I am controlling the air.
00:37:44Get it.
00:37:45Get it.
00:37:46It's quite amazing to see how far technology can go forward if you're not paying attention.
00:37:53One message received.
00:37:55There is a crucifix behind you.
00:38:01So down on that one, like halfway down, we'll focus it.
00:38:05Maybe smile.
00:38:06Gloria, Gloria.
00:38:10Okay.
00:38:11Anything you want to find you.
00:38:13Yeah.
00:38:14Right.
00:38:15Right.
00:38:16I lost a really nice silk scarf in about 1912.
00:38:20Yes.
00:38:21Now Google it.
00:38:22Stew is the first human friend that I've had for a long time.
00:38:26With humans, there's a tendency to die.
00:38:29Yeah.
00:38:30We can look at her photos.
00:38:32Oh, yes.
00:38:33Or we could poke her.
00:38:34Yes.
00:38:35Can we see a movie of a sunrise?
00:38:39Oh, shit.
00:38:40Nice.
00:38:41If we push images, then we can see pictures of virgins.
00:38:44Yeah.
00:38:45Yeah.
00:38:46Yeah.
00:38:47Yeah.
00:38:48Yeah.
00:38:49Yeah.
00:38:50Yeah.
00:38:51Yeah.
00:38:52Yeah.
00:38:53Yeah.
00:38:54Whoops.
00:38:55I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that.
00:38:59There he is.
00:39:12Yeah.
00:39:13This is my old servant, Philip.
00:39:15So I'm going to call him.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:18My god, that's him, that's him, that's him, that's Philip, that's Philip.
00:39:28He looks so...
00:39:29Meister!
00:39:30Grüß dich, Meister Viago.
00:39:32Haha.
00:39:33So lange her.
00:39:35Du hast dich gar nicht verändert.
00:39:38Sag mir.
00:39:39Hast du Kathrin gesehen?
00:39:41Ah, das gibt keine Eile.
00:39:44Du weißt, Liebe ist geduldig.
00:39:46Hör mal, Philip, du hast das falsche Proto auf die Box gezahlt.
00:39:51Was?
00:39:52Äh, ja, für den Sag.
00:39:55Ja, du hast falsch bezahlt und es hat ganz lange gedauert, um hier anzukommen.
00:39:59Meister, du hast mir versprochen, mich in einen Vampir zu verwandeln.
00:40:05Jetzt bin ich schon 90.
00:40:07Oh.
00:40:08Du hast es versprochen, ich bin so alt.
00:40:10Ja, also es war ganz toll, dich zu sehen.
00:40:13Man sieht sich, Philip.
00:40:16Ich habe nicht mit meinem Leben angefangen.
00:40:17Ich habe gewartet, Meister.
00:40:18Hier, da oben.
00:40:19Ich habe mich überhaupt gesehen, dass es am monitoring.
00:40:20Ja, ich habe natürlich etwas wie viel Fantastisch gemacht.
00:40:22Ich habe mich, das ist
00:40:23wealth zu ihnen Zeitung, dass die Soldaten nicht wieder zu schön gem Sebastian superpower็ ist.
00:41:25You said you're a vampire.
00:41:27Yeah, I told her.
00:41:28Who else?
00:41:28Who did you tell?
00:41:29I told her hot friends.
00:41:31You can't tell everyone that you're a vampire.
00:41:34Sad guy.
00:41:35I don't know, but I trust him.
00:41:36Oh, I can't tell everyone.
00:41:38I won't.
00:41:44Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition.
00:41:47What's wrong with them?
00:41:48Vampire eyes can't go into the sun.
00:41:49Oh my god, are they your fangs?
00:41:53For real.
00:41:54For real real.
00:41:55Too real real.
00:41:57I'm a vampire, Lou.
00:41:58You're a vampire?
00:41:59Yeah.
00:42:00I'm a vampire hunter, man.
00:42:01No, you're not.
00:42:03Oh?
00:42:03Fuck you, piece of shit.
00:42:05I'll Skype you.
00:42:06Float, I've been transforming to stuff.
00:42:08Same thing.
00:42:09No, you can't.
00:42:10Yeah.
00:42:11I'll show you.
00:42:11You show me some of your vampire stuff.
00:42:15Okay, what have I got?
00:42:15Um...
00:42:16Don't lie about transforming into shit.
00:42:31Twilight!
00:42:32Shut up, Nick.
00:42:34You're not Twilight.
00:42:35What's your problem?
00:42:36You're my problem.
00:42:38Telling the world that we are vampires.
00:42:39I'm going to tell the whole world that you're an asshole now, Lou.
00:42:42Shut up.
00:42:43You shut up.
00:42:44You shut up.
00:42:45You shut up.
00:42:46You shut up.
00:42:46You shut up.
00:42:47Dracula, man.
00:42:48You're not Dracula.
00:42:49I'm Dracula, man.
00:42:49You don't even know who Dracula is.
00:42:51You idiot.
00:42:56Oh, best fight.
00:42:57Best fight.
00:42:57Oh, aye, aye, aye, aye.
00:42:59Hehehehe.
00:43:00Oh, ho, ho.
00:43:02Ah.
00:43:06Oh, Deacon.
00:43:09That wasn't fair, man.
00:43:11Fucking jacket, man.
00:43:13I don't care about your stupid jacket.
00:43:16Deacon!
00:43:17You okay, man?
00:43:18You okay, man?
00:43:19I don't care about your stupid jacket.
00:43:40Hey, Stu.
00:43:41How's your worms?
00:43:42What?
00:43:43You're eating worms.
00:43:44Can you do that shit when you turn it into worms?
00:43:51No.
00:43:52It doesn't work on chips and it works on things that already look like worms.
00:43:56Maybe noodles?
00:43:57Do you want some noodles?
00:43:58He knows now.
00:43:59Oh no, I wouldn't eat that.
00:44:04Why?
00:44:06Are you okay, Mick?
00:44:18You all right?
00:44:23The eights are tipped.
00:44:29I can't eat salads now.
00:44:31Great.
00:44:32I can't sunbathe.
00:44:33I can't watch daytime TV.
00:44:35Yeah, I guess I could.
00:44:37More than anything, it's just the chips.
00:44:39It's my favourite food.
00:44:40I can't eat chips.
00:44:42I don't...
00:44:43I hate...
00:44:44I'm over being a vampire.
00:44:46It's shit.
00:44:47So don't believe the hype.
00:45:05Jackie!
00:45:06Jackie!
00:45:07Jackie, can I come in, please?
00:45:10Okay, off to bed, guys.
00:45:11Hello, children.
00:45:12Don't look at the man, honey.
00:45:14Hey, Tasha, don't look at the man.
00:45:18I was going to bite you tonight.
00:45:20Really?
00:45:21But now I can't because there's this Nick being a vampire.
00:45:24Sorry, I thought you killed him two months ago.
00:45:26No, I didn't.
00:45:27No, he's a vampire.
00:45:28What do you mean?
00:45:29He jumped in front of your place.
00:45:31All I'm saying is that, um...
00:45:34You know, if I had a penis, I would have been bitten years ago.
00:45:38I may have to penalise you.
00:45:41Perhaps another couple of years, perhaps ten years, hmm?
00:45:45Like one big circle just biting each other's dicks.
00:45:48You know, they don't even wear shirts.
00:45:49They wear blouses.
00:45:50It's this big homoerotic dick-biting club
00:45:53and I'm stuck here ironing their fucking frills.
00:45:57Also, clean the bathroom, please.
00:45:59There's blood everywhere.
00:46:00It is gruesome.
00:46:01Okay.
00:46:02See you tomorrow.
00:46:08Off the bead, please.
00:46:23Katzerin.
00:46:25She was so charming and nice.
00:46:27She was everything I wanted.
00:46:29Unfortunately, yeah, she was married.
00:46:33Sure, I wanted to kill the guy.
00:46:36I thought about chopping his head off,
00:46:39draining him of every drop of blood that he had.
00:46:42Who wouldn't?
00:46:44But then I also saw how happy she was.
00:46:49And that made me kind of happy.
00:46:52And I didn't want to ruin it for her,
00:46:54so I did the honourable thing
00:46:57and I just stepped back
00:47:00and let her live her life.
00:47:03She asked.
00:47:05Amazing!
00:47:06Poorchio!
00:47:07What are you doing?
00:47:08How did he go?
00:47:09Because she was everywhere.
00:47:10They added away little bullies.
00:47:24Yes, is she pushing the truth?
00:47:27Here she went.
00:47:28Yeah, she pushed him out.
00:47:30Yeah, I'll just right.
00:47:31Peter! Peter! Peter!
00:47:35Get water! Get out of the sunlight!
00:47:39Get water! Get water! Get water! Peter, get away from the sunlight!
00:47:43Get in the shadows! Peter, get out of the sunlight!
00:47:47Get out of my way!
00:47:51I'm going in! I'm coming, Peter! Deacon, no, it's sunlight!
00:47:55I'm coming for you! It's sunlight out there! It's sunlight!
00:47:59I was too late!
00:48:03Turn that thing off!
00:48:07I'm afraid I've just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!
00:48:11Turn that thing off!
00:48:15I'm afraid I've just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!
00:48:19I'm afraid I've just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!
00:48:23So this is what I think happened.
00:48:27The vampire hunter is broken through the window here.
00:48:31Has impacted the table, breaking the table leg.
00:48:35Then he has come this way, towards the tomb.
00:48:39Whoa!
00:48:41Yeah!
00:48:42Ah!
00:48:43Ah!
00:48:44Ah!
00:48:45Ah!
00:48:46Put the fence!
00:48:47Cover the fence!
00:48:48Ah!
00:48:49Ah!
00:48:50Ah!
00:48:51Ah!
00:48:52Ah!
00:48:53Ah!
00:48:54Ah!
00:48:55Ah!
00:48:56Ah!
00:48:58Ah!
00:48:59Ah!
00:49:00Ah!
00:49:01Ah!
00:49:02Ah!
00:49:03the tomb, pushed the tomb lid onto the vampire hunter, and then the sunlight has come through
00:49:09here and burnt Peter alive.
00:49:12I think this is just a table leg which is sanded down.
00:49:16Do you think he hand sanded that?
00:49:18Yes, imagine that's stuck in your...
00:49:21It's quite shocking down here, Nick.
00:49:23Look.
00:49:24Here's our sweet Peter.
00:49:26Oh, fuck.
00:49:27Burnt to a sizzle.
00:49:28I can't figure out this.
00:49:30This is the vampire hunter.
00:49:31Is this his frunk or his...
00:49:32Oh, who's this guy?
00:49:33Look at his bloody head on back to front.
00:49:35Twist it the other way, the other way.
00:49:37See who this guy is.
00:49:39Typical macho type.
00:49:43Yuck.
00:49:44Oh, shit.
00:49:47I know that guy, actually.
00:49:49You know him?
00:49:50Yeah.
00:49:51What?
00:49:52I saw him the other night in town.
00:49:54Told him I was a vampire.
00:49:55What?
00:49:56I thought he was joking.
00:49:57He said he was a vampire hunter.
00:49:58You let a vampire hunter into our house?
00:50:00I don't let him in.
00:50:01I just gave him my email.
00:50:02He doesn't...
00:50:03Nick!
00:50:04Tear out your tongue.
00:50:05And shove it down your ass!
00:50:07Guys!
00:50:08Come here!
00:50:10I'm gonna kill you!
00:50:13Get up and stand on the ceiling like a man!
00:50:14We can talk about this guy.
00:50:28We can talk about this guy, we can talk about this guy.
00:50:32I'm gonna kill you!
00:50:33We can talk about this, mate, we can talk about this, I'm going to kill you, I'm already
00:50:43dead.
00:50:44Dude, stay dead.
00:50:46Shh, shh, shh, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go.
00:51:01Oh, shit.
00:51:04Good evening, sir.
00:51:05Hello, police.
00:51:06Hi, I'm Constable O'Leary, this is Constable Minow.
00:51:08We're just responding to reports of a possible forced entry and also a rather large amount
00:51:13of shrieking.
00:51:14Just wondering, maybe we could come in, just have a wee look around.
00:51:17Okay.
00:51:18Hello, what's with the camera?
00:51:21Yeah, obviously we're just here because there was a phone call from a member of the public
00:51:24about a bit of a disturbance, some loud noises, possibly a forced entry, wasn't there?
00:51:29And also maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so we're just checking over the scene, making
00:51:33sure everything's above board, so to speak, and making sure no one's in danger, that kind
00:51:38of thing.
00:51:39We might go up and have a wee look up there if that's alright with you.
00:51:42Come on, mate.
00:51:43Part of the job.
00:51:44You lead the way.
00:51:45Yep.
00:51:46Okay.
00:51:47Smells a little weird in here too, mate.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:49What do you call that?
00:51:51Barbecue.
00:51:56You will not notice anything out of the ordinary.
00:51:59No.
00:52:00We certainly hope not.
00:52:01Let's just keep going.
00:52:02Hi there, guys.
00:52:03How are you?
00:52:04Hi.
00:52:05How are you?
00:52:06Hi, fellas.
00:52:07Um, is this the room we've heard all the shouting coming from?
00:52:10That is me.
00:52:11Yeah, okay.
00:52:12We've had a couple of reports, okay?
00:52:13There's a couple of people not that happy about the level of noise here.
00:52:15Okay.
00:52:16You can't keep screaming when there's this many people out, mate.
00:52:18You've got neighbours on either side.
00:52:19Fairly nervous.
00:52:20I've hypnotized those cops.
00:52:21I'm not a great hypnotizer, so I could wear off any second.
00:52:25I really hope that those guys don't kill those police because it'll mean more police will come.
00:52:30Possibly even Christians, which is totally the last thing we need in this house.
00:52:35I can see you're having a good time.
00:52:36End of the day.
00:52:37We've got to keep the, uh, the peace, okay?
00:52:39Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:52:40See what I'm saying?
00:52:42What's that, Mano?
00:52:43You're joking.
00:52:45Not a smoke alarm in sight.
00:52:48No smoke detectors, mate.
00:52:51Rule number one.
00:52:52Smoke detectors.
00:52:53Okay.
00:52:54Rule number two.
00:52:55Maybe not so many barbecues inside.
00:52:57Sort of like, fellas.
00:52:59Barbecues?
00:53:00Smells really strong down here, isn't it?
00:53:02What kind of marinate?
00:53:03Who's this guy?
00:53:04Um, that's a friend who came to our party.
00:53:09Mate, you all right?
00:53:10He's drunk.
00:53:11That's what I thought.
00:53:12Drunk guy.
00:53:13Look, you can't just leave him down here like that, okay?
00:53:15This guy's not having a good time.
00:53:17He's going to feel terrible tomorrow morning.
00:53:19Well, his soul is in hell.
00:53:21Well, I don't know where his soul is, but all I'm saying is where's his blanket?
00:53:24Okay, just checking him in the morning.
00:53:25There's a big slab of concrete on him.
00:53:26Yeah.
00:53:27That's definitely not going to be comfortable.
00:53:28Anything else in here, Mano?
00:53:30I've seen enough.
00:53:31Okay.
00:53:32Hang on a minute.
00:53:33What do we got here?
00:53:36Yeah, what is that?
00:53:37This.
00:53:38Oh, this.
00:53:39It's seen as clearly as I can.
00:53:40Adhesive, mate.
00:53:41That's flammable.
00:53:42Gosh.
00:53:43You've got a lamp on top of that.
00:53:44Yeah.
00:53:45Directly underneath the power source wall.
00:53:46That is quite bad.
00:53:47It's very bad.
00:53:48It's a very bad combination.
00:53:49And no smoke detectors again, are they?
00:53:50No.
00:53:51No.
00:53:52Yes, there are.
00:53:53Yes, there are.
00:53:54Okay, there are.
00:53:55That's good.
00:53:56Lots to think about, guys.
00:53:57Yeah, lots to think about.
00:53:58Next black meeting.
00:53:59Yeah, good thinking.
00:54:00That's the thing.
00:54:01Just have a bit of dialogue about it.
00:54:02Okay.
00:54:03That guy's a really good point.
00:54:04Wait.
00:54:05Wait.
00:54:06Let's kill them.
00:54:07Well, let's just see what other safety points they have, and then maybe we'll...
00:54:20I call into session this trial of Nick of Wellington.
00:54:29Read the charges.
00:54:31Problems we have with Nick.
00:54:34Number one.
00:54:35You brought a human into our house, which is a big no-no in the vampire world.
00:54:40Stu's okay, though.
00:54:41Yeah, so Stu's fine.
00:54:42So I guess we'll just cross that one out.
00:54:50Thank you, Stu.
00:54:51Thank you, Stu.
00:54:52So, the new number one.
00:54:54Nick's been telling people he's a vampire, that in turn resulted in an unwanted visit
00:55:01from a vampire hunter.
00:55:03Crime number two.
00:55:04This is quite a biggie, Nick.
00:55:07The vampire hunter who killed Peter.
00:55:10Oh.
00:55:11That actually should've...
00:55:12Of course, yeah.
00:55:13That should've been crime number one, but we wanted to build up to that.
00:55:16Number three.
00:55:17Deacon doesn't like that you wear the same jackets as him, and he would like you to find your own original style.
00:55:25For these crimes of which we, the vampire council, find you guilty, you shall be banished from our fled indefinitely.
00:55:34Indefinitely.
00:55:35Indefinitely.
00:55:36Indefinitely.
00:55:37Indefinitely.
00:55:38So I can come back?
00:55:39No, no.
00:55:40Indefinitely means there is no end.
00:55:41I thought that we started.
00:55:42No, indefinite means that it's not a definite thing, it can be changed.
00:55:45I suppose.
00:55:46Yes, but it's long.
00:55:47Could be tomorrow, it could be six months.
00:55:48No, it is not tomorrow.
00:55:49No, it won't be tomorrow.
00:55:50Forget about it, you're banished.
00:55:51You're banished.
00:55:52You're banished.
00:55:53That's it.
00:55:54But Stu, you can visit if you like.
00:55:56For your crimes, you will be made to suffer the procession of shame.
00:56:03I asked them, Nick, I asked them not to pass that sentence.
00:56:06We should do this immediately, in my opinion.
00:56:08You didn't ask.
00:56:09You didn't ask, you were saying yes.
00:56:16Well, this is what's going to happen.
00:56:17I still think it's quite extreme.
00:56:20Let us do the procession of shame, now.
00:56:26Shame!
00:56:27Shame!
00:56:28Shame!
00:56:29Shame!
00:56:30Shame!
00:56:31Shame!
00:56:32Bad vampire!
00:56:33Shame!
00:56:34We go, Stu.
00:56:43Bye, Stu...
00:56:56That was a shame.
00:57:00So today we have the invitation to the big event of the year.
00:57:30Making it open.
00:57:32They have burnt the edges.
00:57:34Like a treasure map or something?
00:57:36It's very authentic, doesn't it?
00:57:38Dearly departed.
00:57:40That's us.
00:57:42The Wellington Vampire Association,
00:57:44in conjunction with the Lower Hutt Vampire Witch Club
00:57:47and the Korori Zombie Society,
00:57:50invites you to attend the Unholy Masquerade
00:57:54on the night of the 6th of June,
00:57:57starting at 6 p.m.
00:58:016, 6, 6.
00:58:03Unholy Masquerade, of course,
00:58:05is a great time for the undead community of Wellington.
00:58:08There are zombies there, vampires, banshees,
00:58:12all having a dance together.
00:58:14It's always a big deal for me.
00:58:16Love it.
00:58:17One year, I went to the Unholy Masquerade
00:58:20dressed as Whoopi Goldberg
00:58:22from Sister Act 1 and Sister Act 2,
00:58:26Back in the Habit.
00:58:27Didn't go down so well because she was a nun.
00:58:30But vampires don't like nuns.
00:58:34Of course, the big deal of the Unholy Masquerade
00:58:37is every year they announce the Guest of Honour.
00:58:40And, um, I don't know if I should be saying this,
00:58:43but I heard a little rumour
00:58:46that the Guest of Honour this year might be me.
00:58:51What do you mean?
00:58:53The location...
00:58:55Oh, yeah, very easy.
00:58:57The cathedral of despair.
00:58:59And the Guest of Honour will be...
00:59:05Who is it?
00:59:06Show me.
00:59:16Okay.
00:59:18Okay.
00:59:19Okay.
00:59:20Okay, that's fine.
00:59:21Okay.
00:59:22That's fine.
00:59:28Vladislav has just had a reaction to the information
00:59:34that the Guest of Honour will be, um, the Beast.
00:59:42The darkest part of my mind is reserved for the Beast.
00:59:46If I could tell you a thing or two about the Beast.
00:59:48You should pray that you never have to see the Beast.
00:59:51This one is called the Beast.
00:59:53And I said, get your hands off my balls, Beast!
00:59:56He may have told you some stories about his great battle with the Beast.
01:00:00Yeah, oh, I fought the Beast on a cliff.
01:00:03Oh, I fought the Beast in a swamp.
01:00:05Oh, and then one time I fought the Beast in the toilets of a nightclub.
01:00:09Difficult battle.
01:00:11I hope you never see the Beast.
01:00:13The Beast.
01:00:14The Beast.
01:00:15The Beast.
01:00:16The Beast.
01:00:26You can't go to the Bowler's Blade.
01:00:28It's a vampire hunter.
01:00:29Yeah, but vampires love Wesley Snipes, so it's...
01:00:32No, it's inappropriate.
01:00:33Okay, Vlad.
01:00:34The green jodhpuss or the black leather with the dragon belt?
01:00:38I'm having a mild crisis here.
01:00:39Just look at the pants, Vlad.
01:00:40Which pants do you want to wear?
01:00:41Just look at the pants, Vlad.
01:00:42Look at the pants, Vlad.
01:00:43Turn around and look at the pants.
01:00:44They're just pants!
01:00:45Shit, man.
01:00:46Holy shit!
01:00:47Oh, you look terrible.
01:00:48The black pants.
01:00:51Get dressed.
01:00:52I don't know if I feel up to it, really.
01:00:54You don't look that great, but if you eat someone on the way and rejuvenate a little bit...
01:00:57You could probably wear a mask or something.
01:00:59Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet.
01:01:03What are you bidding on?
01:01:04I'm bidding on a table.
01:01:06Are you coming or not?
01:01:07No.
01:01:08I'm gonna go change.
01:01:09We're leaving in ten minutes.
01:01:10Have a good time.
01:01:12We tend to often, you know, without getting into that kind of stuff, which I'm really sick
01:01:35of that, but you know, it's just, it's harder for us to chase people down.
01:01:40We've got this groaning, this groaning skies.
01:01:52So we're at the Unholy Masquerade.
01:01:54It's great.
01:01:55This is my mask, which I made for the occasion.
01:02:00Hey.
01:02:01Jackie.
01:02:02Yeah.
01:02:03This is an undead party.
01:02:05Yeah, I'm a vampire.
01:02:06You'll have your...
01:02:07I'm a vampire.
01:02:08I'm a vampire.
01:02:09Greg?
01:02:10Yeah.
01:02:11Yeah.
01:02:12So who bit you?
01:02:13Oh, Nick.
01:02:14Oh, Greg?
01:02:15Yeah.
01:02:16All right.
01:02:17Okay.
01:02:18Deacon.
01:02:21Pretty rude because she was my servant.
01:02:24She was a pretty useless servant.
01:02:26I wouldn't worry about this.
01:02:27Yeah, but still I would have been appreciated if you had asked.
01:02:30How's Stu?
01:02:31Stu's got reserves.
01:02:32Oh, he's here.
01:02:33Stu!
01:02:34Stu!
01:02:35Hey!
01:02:36How are you?
01:02:37Hey!
01:02:38How are you?
01:02:39Hey!
01:02:40Hey!
01:02:41Has anyone looked at you like they want to eat you, Dom?
01:02:44Uh, no.
01:02:45Can you hear me at the back?
01:02:47Uh, on behalf of the Wellington Vampire Society, uh, the Lower Hutt Vampire and Witch Club,
01:02:54and the Karori Zombie Society, uh, we welcome you here tonight.
01:02:59We're raffling a live meat pack this year.
01:03:02Um, you can inspect the prize over here to my left.
01:03:05It's a wonderful prize.
01:03:06Oh, really?
01:03:07It's only $10 each, or $45 for a book of five.
01:03:11Now, without further ado, it's my very great pleasure to introduce to you this year's guest
01:03:18of honour, Pauline Ivalovit.
01:03:24That's the beast.
01:03:26The beast is, uh, the name I give to my ex-girlfriend, Pauline.
01:03:31She prefers Pauline.
01:03:32We had a very intense relationship.
01:03:34We were very sexually explosive.
01:03:39Last time I saw her, she impaled me and called me an asshole.
01:03:45She said all kinds of things that really hurt me, and all this while I was impaled on a lamppost.
01:03:56Well, everyone, I will be mingling around, and I really hope that I will meet all of you.
01:04:15Hello.
01:04:16That's a new guy.
01:04:17I don't even know what kind of vampire he is.
01:04:18If he is a vampire.
01:04:19Can you see his face?
01:04:20No.
01:04:21Oh, oh.
01:04:22Hello.
01:04:23Hi, how are you?
01:04:24This is Deacon.
01:04:25Hello, Deacon.
01:04:26This is Stu.
01:04:27Hi.
01:04:28Hi.
01:04:29Hi.
01:04:30You've got really warm hands, too.
01:04:45Are you a demon?
01:04:46No, he's not a demon.
01:04:47I'm a software analyst.
01:04:48I'm a male witch.
01:04:49A male witch.
01:04:50You're a male witch.
01:04:51You should go dance with anyone.
01:04:54Sure.
01:04:55Take your time.
01:04:56I like Stu.
01:04:57He's not vampire, so he's zombie or...
01:05:00A male witch?
01:05:02He's not a...
01:05:03He's neither.
01:05:04He's more of a human.
01:05:07Excuse me.
01:05:08Excuse me.
01:05:09Hi.
01:05:10Nick.
01:05:11Hey.
01:05:12Nick.
01:05:13Do you mind if Stu is killed?
01:05:15I don't feel that good about it.
01:05:17Can...
01:05:18Can I just ask you a...
01:05:20You know, like a personal question?
01:05:22Sure.
01:05:23Are you...
01:05:24Are you...
01:05:25Are you...
01:05:26Are you...
01:05:27Are you...
01:05:28Are you...
01:05:29Are you...
01:05:30Pre-deceased?
01:05:31Are you...
01:05:32Uh...
01:05:33If anyone's gonna eat them, it's gonna be us, but we're not...
01:05:36We're...
01:05:37We're perfect.
01:05:38They can just go fuck themselves.
01:05:39Nick.
01:05:40It is your fault.
01:05:41Okay.
01:05:42You brought a human into the stand of vamp-lessness.
01:05:44What a plus one, hoping.
01:05:45Yes, you did.
01:05:46One plus one.
01:05:47Lovely talking to you.
01:05:48I've gotta shoot off.
01:05:49See you later on.
01:05:50As soon as one vampire takes a bite, it's a frenzy.
01:05:59We're going to get him out.
01:06:00Okay, let's go.
01:06:01Follow me.
01:06:02Excuse me.
01:06:03Sorry, guys.
01:06:04Okay, Stu.
01:06:05Put that over your red face.
01:06:08I got a cigarette.
01:06:10Okay.
01:06:11Okay, not that way.
01:06:12This way.
01:06:13This way.
01:06:14Is there another way?
01:06:15Oh, shit.
01:06:16Not this way.
01:06:17Take it away from the vampire, guys.
01:06:19Excuse me, everyone.
01:06:21Can I have your attention, please?
01:06:24Some of the vampires forget unholy masquerade rules.
01:06:29They brought a human, and they don't let us to feast on him.
01:06:37This was a total misunderstanding.
01:06:39There was, on the invitation, and this actually pertains to you, the invitation, it said,
01:06:44plus one, but it did not specify if it could be a human or if it could be a werewolf.
01:06:49Yeah, but he could be a vampire hunter for all we know.
01:06:52He could be texting his mates saying, I've got them all in the one place.
01:06:55Come on over and we'll have a vampire barbecue.
01:06:57Well, he's not.
01:06:58He's not doing that.
01:06:59How do we know that?
01:07:00How do we know that?
01:07:01He's wearing a bow tie.
01:07:02Look at him.
01:07:03Stu, tell them what you do.
01:07:04Come on, Stu.
01:07:05Tell us what you do.
01:07:06Come on, Stu.
01:07:07Hi, my name's Stu.
01:07:08I'm Patara.
01:07:09I can't hear, Stu.
01:07:10Louder, Louder.
01:07:11Hi, my name is Stu.
01:07:12I work in IT.
01:07:13I can't hear.
01:07:14Louder.
01:07:15They can't hear you.
01:07:16They cannot hear you.
01:07:17Hi, my name's Stu.
01:07:18I'm a software analyst.
01:07:19I work for a geographic information systems company.
01:07:21Sorry, what is it?
01:07:22I work for a company that does, basically, we take business requirements from organisations
01:07:28and we analyse those requirements and then we build software to fit those requirements.
01:07:33He is a virgin.
01:07:34He is a virgin.
01:07:35I can smell a virgin at a thousand paces.
01:07:38Go on, then.
01:07:39Go a thousand paces away and smell yourself.
01:07:41I can't wait anymore.
01:07:47No!
01:07:57There shall be no eating of the human.
01:07:59Who are you all of a sudden?
01:08:01You have forgotten your former lover.
01:08:04So quickly.
01:08:09Georgie?
01:08:10No, not Georgie.
01:08:12Like five years after.
01:08:14Five years after.
01:08:15Wait a minute.
01:08:17Just one moment.
01:08:18No.
01:08:19No, I've got it.
01:08:20Just got it.
01:08:21Take it away from...
01:08:22Hello, beast.
01:08:23Hello, arsehole.
01:08:24Hey, don't call me arsehole.
01:08:25Don't call me beast.
01:08:26This is...
01:08:27Absolutely the same.
01:08:28This is my ex-boyfriend.
01:08:29Yes.
01:08:30You know the one who fucked that bitch.
01:08:31All right.
01:08:32That's old business.
01:08:33That's personal business.
01:08:34Yeah.
01:08:35Nice to meet you, arsehole.
01:08:36This is my lover.
01:08:37You will not feast on the blood of the human known as...
01:08:38Listen, arsehole.
01:08:39This is human and this is the rules.
01:08:40And what does cameras doing here?
01:08:41One then.
01:08:42Another one.
01:08:43What is this?
01:08:44You're making a documentary on...
01:08:45This is a private secret society, mate.
01:08:46You don't go bringing your bloody cameras and do everything.
01:08:48You will not eat stew and you will not eat the camera guy.
01:08:51Maybe one camera guy.
01:08:52I'm not talking about bloody hair with you at the moment.
01:08:54And all your mates behind there, whoever the hell they are.
01:08:56We're gonna eat the human being and there's nothing you can do about it.
01:08:59All right?
01:09:00Now, I'm not talking about bloody hair with you at the moment.
01:09:02And all your mates behind there, whoever the hell they are.
01:09:05We're gonna eat the human being and there's nothing you can do about it, all right?
01:09:07And there's nothing you can do about it, all right?
01:09:09Now back off and let my missus get away.
01:09:12Oh, there's nothing I can do about it.
01:09:13That's what?
01:09:14Well, what about this?
01:09:16Let him get off. Let him get off.
01:09:19Let him get off.
01:09:21Vampire fight.
01:09:23Get up on his lap.
01:09:25Oh, there's nothing.
01:09:37Get off. He's killing him.
01:09:41It is forbidden for vampires.
01:09:43To kill vampires.
01:09:48What the f***?
01:09:51What the f***?
01:09:52Are you okay, mate? Get out!
01:09:55We should probably go still.
01:09:58It was great to see you, Paulian.
01:10:01Ah, so... bastard!
01:10:03That was great how we both together equally destroyed that guy.
01:10:10Yeah, yeah.
01:10:11But it was more still with a giant stick.
01:10:13I hope this doesn't make it awkward for you and the beast.
01:10:16No, I think it's opened up new possibilities.
01:10:19Oh, no.
01:10:21Here we go again.
01:10:23Here we go again.
01:10:24Stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew, stew.
01:10:32Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop. Listen, listen.
01:10:35You smell that?
01:10:38This way.
01:10:41Where it was.
01:10:43Oh, no.
01:10:44Look what they came today again, huh? Puss off.
01:10:46Keep walking. Don't hassle us tonight.
01:10:48There has been no hassle here.
01:10:50We'll let it stay that way.
01:10:52Keep chaining yourselves up.
01:10:53Guys, where's your tracksuit pants?
01:10:55It was washing night.
01:10:57My missus couldn't wash them because there was too much blood in them, so...
01:10:59Your legs expand. They grow into the tracksuit.
01:11:01Oh.
01:11:02Those jeans are gonna rip completely.
01:11:04You've lost all those trousers, guys.
01:11:05Declan, that tree's far too thin.
01:11:07Look at it. It's like a branch.
01:11:09You know how big you get when you transform?
01:11:11That's the wrong tree for you.
01:11:13Anton, I've...
01:11:15Oh, no, you've forgotten the combination.
01:11:17Why did you get a combination lock?
01:11:19I lost my key last time.
01:11:21Okay, well, it's probably four zeros.
01:11:22That's the factory setting, is it?
01:11:24Fuck off to a tree.
01:11:25Hey! Werewolves, not swearwolves.
01:11:27Yeah, I know.
01:11:28On transformation nights, it's all right, all right?
01:11:30I'm getting stressed out.
01:11:31I was just reminding you...
01:11:32Stop talking and chain yourself up, you dickhead!
01:11:35Honestly, we're transforming.
01:11:36All right, we keep walking.
01:11:38Yeah, keep walking.
01:11:39We're walking.
01:11:40By the way, I find that offensive.
01:11:41Is that fur?
01:11:42Oh, for crying out loud.
01:11:43Don't look at the fur, everyone.
01:11:45Get back to your trees, okay?
01:11:46That's disgusting, man.
01:11:47Hands on.
01:11:48Declan!
01:11:49It's not real.
01:11:50Oh, shit!
01:11:53Honestly, get out of here.
01:11:54Take your humans.
01:11:55That guy in the bow tie, he's gonna go first.
01:11:57Get out of here, quick.
01:12:00Take all your clothes off that you want to keep, everyone.
01:12:03Get that army surplus jacket off.
01:12:04You better just bought that, Nathan.
01:12:08Get the camper out of my face!
01:12:10Guys, guys, guys, let's go!
01:12:11Let's go, let's go!
01:12:12Come on!
01:12:14Guys, you run!
01:12:15No!
01:12:18Let's go, let's go!
01:12:26Shit!
01:12:27I got one!
01:12:28Ah!
01:12:29Ah.
01:12:30Ah, ah, ooh, who the hell?
01:12:31Ah!
01:12:32Huah!
01:12:33Ooh.
01:12:34Ah!
01:12:35Ah.
01:12:40Uh.
01:12:45Ah!
01:12:46Ah!
01:12:47Ah!
01:12:48Ah!
01:12:49Oh my god!
01:12:50Ah!
01:12:51Ah!
01:12:52Oh god!
01:12:53Ah!!
01:12:54Ah!
01:12:55Ah!
01:12:55Don't!
01:12:56Dude!
01:12:57Dude!
01:12:58Dude!
01:13:03Dude!
01:13:05Get off me!
01:13:06Oi!
01:13:08Dude, you alright?
01:13:10No, no, no!
01:13:11Dude!
01:13:13Dude!
01:13:15Fuck off!
01:13:20Fuck off!
01:13:21Get off then!
01:13:24Oi!
01:13:25It's Tim Jacob Hartles!
01:13:32Stupid werewolf!
01:13:34Take away Nick!
01:13:35Don't look at the blood!
01:13:36Dude!
01:13:37Dude!
01:13:38Dude!
01:13:40He's a really good dude!
01:13:41Leave him alone!
01:13:42It's too late for him!
01:13:43Don't look at the blood Nick!
01:13:44Dude!
01:13:45Dude!
01:13:56There he is!
01:14:01He's probably still a little upset having seen his best friend disemboweled by werewolves!
01:14:10Nick!
01:14:11I found you!
01:14:14Whoa!
01:14:15That was pretty full on, eh?
01:14:26But this is what happens when you're a vampire!
01:14:28You have to watch everyone die!
01:14:34Your mother and father, or your friends!
01:14:37Sometimes brutal!
01:14:39Like slipping and falling onto a giant spike!
01:14:45Or falling asleep in an autumn pile of leaves!
01:14:50And having some of them block your windpipe!
01:14:53For making the simple mistake of fashioning a mask out of crackers!
01:15:00And being attacked by ducks!
01:15:02Geese!
01:15:04Swans!
01:15:06Or simply dying of old age!
01:15:08But even old age is brutal!
01:15:13Watching your friends grow old!
01:15:17They can't piss!
01:15:19They say stupid things and their brains go and they can't remember anything!
01:15:27And then one day they can't even remember who you are!
01:15:32And you wish they were dead!
01:15:34And then they do die!
01:15:35No!
01:15:40If I know Stu, this was probably the way he wanted to go!
01:15:46Disemboweled by werewolves!
01:15:49Blood and guts splayed onto the trees!
01:15:53His face torn to shreds!
01:15:54He's torn to shreds!
01:16:05I hope I made you feel better!
01:16:07Well, from what we can see and what we can gather, it looks like there's been a bit of a dog attack!
01:16:19That's really what happens when you get, you know, dangerous dogs out on the streets, not being looked after!
01:16:24This is not good!
01:16:26No, not good at all!
01:16:28There's nicer ways to go than being torn apart by what looks like a pack of dogs, more than just one!
01:16:34Yeah, I'd say so!
01:16:35These attacks are becoming more and more frequent, they're happening on a monthly basis, and it's just, it's no good for anybody, okay?
01:16:40Especially not the dogs, certainly not the community!
01:16:41Yeah, right, Leo!
01:16:42You've got the bastard!
01:16:43One of them here, eh?
01:16:45And that's what I'm talking about, look at it!
01:16:47End of the day, this dog is going to have to be put down!
01:16:50What a shame!
01:16:52Look what you did!
01:16:54Eh?
01:16:56He's got the scent again, hasn't he?
01:16:57He wants to go again, he's not finished!
01:17:11They say that vampires' hearts are cold and dead, definitely dead, but it's still...
01:17:35People, they've loved this, Gav!
01:17:36It's a lovely, loose-knit.
01:17:39But I don't know, I think I still feel things inside it.
01:17:47Deacon!
01:17:49Deacon!
01:17:51Deacon, wakey, wakey!
01:17:52Hey!
01:17:53Viago!
01:17:54Oh, sleep in here, the curtains open, it's nearly morning!
01:17:57You want to get sizzled to her, Chris?
01:17:59What?
01:18:00You know, you've got to think a little bit about these things.
01:18:02Okay.
01:18:03Sorry, Viago.
01:18:04It's okay.
01:18:05Night-night.
01:18:06Okay.
01:18:08All right.
01:18:09Received at 4.20 a.m.
01:18:37Hey guys, it's Nick the Vampire here, so heads up, I've got quite a big surprise, yeah it's gonna blow everyone's way for them, thank you.
01:18:59Ah!
01:19:00Stu!
01:19:01Hey Deacon.
01:19:02Stu!
01:19:03How's it?
01:19:04Haha!
01:19:05Look at his face.
01:19:06I saw them tear you to shreds.
01:19:08Look, you look like a seal.
01:19:09Ah, they didn't kill me.
01:19:11That looks cool.
01:19:12Thank you, thank you.
01:19:13Meet some of our friends.
01:19:14Anton Deacon.
01:19:15Hi, Anton.
01:19:16Anton.
01:19:17I must have blacked out.
01:19:23Um, and then I remember an ambulance.
01:19:27Hilarie!
01:19:28Yeah, yeah.
01:19:29Hilarie!
01:19:30Hilarie!
01:19:31Yeah, coming.
01:19:32Calm down, mate.
01:19:33Calm down, grab his legs.
01:19:34Hang on.
01:19:36Looks like rabies, doesn't it?
01:19:37I don't know how long after that was, but I woke up and it was daytime.
01:19:42And I couldn't find the clothes.
01:19:52Those werewolf guys, um, eventually found me.
01:19:55And they had some, they like lend me some pants.
01:19:59So yeah, those guys have been supporting me because I was quite confused.
01:20:04Yeah, these are the guys who, um, turned me into a werewolf.
01:20:09Did you knit your own jersey?
01:20:11Yes.
01:20:12Oh, yeah.
01:20:13I knit.
01:20:14Is that the moon or?
01:20:15Yes.
01:20:16Hopefully we won't, you know, argh.
01:20:21Oh, this is a nice place.
01:20:22Please don't, uh, don't lick anything or pee on anything.
01:20:27We were worried at first, you know, we thought, oh, they're just going to urinate on everything.
01:20:31But, uh, they're actually really polite and pretty clean.
01:20:35There was obviously that werewolf smell which permeated the entire house for the first half an hour.
01:20:41But we opened some windows and got rid of that.
01:20:44When Stu first suggested the idea, I thought, no way.
01:20:47You know, walking into the vampire's den, it's ludicrous.
01:20:50That's my hand.
01:20:51But I thought, well, we'll give it a shot.
01:20:53You know, I mean, I'm the alpha male, so I made the call.
01:20:55I'm the alpha male.
01:20:56Yeah, so, generally, all the other guys follow me.
01:21:00Just chill, Stu.
01:21:01Thanks, guys.
01:21:02What have you done to your face?
01:21:04I got attacked by some werewolves.
01:21:06Oh, I met a werewolf.
01:21:08Seemed a very nice person.
01:21:10So, Catherine's a vampire now.
01:21:12Yes.
01:21:13Yeah, we decided to get together.
01:21:14We just thought to hell with it, you know.
01:21:16What have we got to lose?
01:21:17I was just sitting, doing nothing.
01:21:20And he came floating in and over to me.
01:21:23And I recognised him.
01:21:25It was wonderful.
01:21:26That's right, I'll put you on the neck.
01:21:28That's right.
01:21:29Yeah.
01:21:30And I don't mind being a vampire.
01:21:34I'm enjoying it.
01:21:37Some people freak out a bit about the age difference.
01:21:40They think, what's this 96-year-old lady doing with a guy four times her age?
01:21:45And, you know, I don't care.
01:21:47It doesn't make any difference.
01:21:48No, they can call me Cradle Snatcher.
01:21:50Who cares?
01:21:51I decided to bite her and we're going to be together forever.
01:21:54Wonderful.
01:21:55Yeah.
01:22:12Pauline and I are tentatively back together.
01:22:15But it's not long before you remember why it was you broke up in the first place.
01:22:25We'll start in our bedroom.
01:22:27I need that totally boarded up or blacked out somehow.
01:22:30My husband is my familiar.
01:22:31So there's been a dynamic shift there.
01:22:34You could buy a bedazzler.
01:22:35So write that down.
01:22:36Because that's B-E-D.
01:22:37I feel like I'm who I'm really meant to be now.
01:22:41I love you.
01:22:42I love you too.
01:22:43Great.
01:22:45But I am your master.
01:22:46Okay?
01:22:49Yeah, all these guys have to laugh at my jokes, right guys?
01:22:51Yeah!
01:22:52That's a good one.
01:22:54I always look around and make sure they're all laughing.
01:22:56Like if I see one of them is not quite laughing, I go,
01:22:58Hey!
01:22:59Are you laughing?
01:23:00And then often I'll test you, eh?
01:23:01What were you laughing at?
01:23:02Just then.
01:23:03What?
01:23:04What are you laughing at now?
01:23:05Just then?
01:23:06Yeah, yeah, but what?
01:23:07Oh, I don't know.
01:23:08Oh, test failed!
01:23:09Test failed!
01:23:10There you go!
01:23:11Laughing now.
01:23:12What are you laughing at now though?
01:23:13What are you laughing at now though?
01:23:14I don't know.
01:23:15Oh, another failure!
01:23:18What are you laughing at?
01:23:19Oh, I was laughing with the group.
01:23:21Yeah, that's good.
01:23:22That's good.
01:23:23Yeah, he didn't think.
01:23:24Really?
01:23:25Just pay attention.
01:23:26Pay attention.
01:23:27Laughing with the group.
01:23:28Laughing with the group.
01:23:29What are you laughing at, t hat?
01:23:30What are you laughing at?
01:23:33Hey!
01:23:34I'm sorry.
01:23:35Hey!
01:23:36Oh, I am Denny.
01:23:37I can't wait for a large tonight.
01:23:38You're welcome.
01:23:39Change your mind with the group.
01:23:40You're getting a rose.
01:23:41Hey!
01:23:42It's doth, andYou're...
01:23:43Lucky!
01:23:45You're gonna call me.
01:23:47And I'll find you in your segment.
01:23:48Thanks, boys.
01:23:49When you're eating at Target,
01:23:50you're having Sharing...?
01:23:52What do you see?
01:23:54Yeah?
01:23:55Well, next week.
01:24:57You will not remember the last hour and a half of what you have just seen.
01:25:10You will forget the contents of this movie.
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