00:00I'm talking to you as part of a nationwide campaign, really, by Sue Ryder, to help people
00:06appreciate the degree of loneliness that goes along with bereavement.
00:11You know, eight out of ten people, when they're grieving, feel that they're doing so alone.
00:17And alarmingly, there's a very high percentage of people who feel they've got nowhere to
00:21turn.
00:21So I'm having this conversation with you because anything we can do to increase the
00:26visibility of the services that are available to people has got to be a good thing.
00:31You know, grief hurts.
00:33It sucks.
00:34It's dreadful.
00:35But if you can find things to help with it, then it's good to let people know about them.
00:41Losing any loved one can be devastating for people, whether it's a cousin you haven't
00:45seen for a few years or a parent or partner.
00:47It affects everyone differently, and there's no shame in grieving fully for that person.
00:51And there's no sliding scale of, you know, how much a different person matters to you.
00:58You know, you might lose an aunt of whom you were particularly fond.
01:02I lost my wife, who was my best friend.
01:04But both of those situations carry with them a weight of grief.
01:09And it's important that people know where they can turn to when they're trying to carry
01:13that weight with them.
01:15There are resources out there for people to use.
01:18Professional help, counselling and support.
01:20Richard says that it's just as important as any of it, is the face-to-face conversations
01:24with friends and family members that can make the biggest difference to people experiencing
01:29bereavement.
01:30Best advice would be look up Sue Ryder Griefkind.
01:36Look that up, and you'll find all kinds of resources there.
01:39That's one thing.
01:40But the other thing I would say is have conversations with people.
01:44Your best mate in the pub, or the person you do the park run with, or, you know, someone
01:48walking their dog alongside you.
01:51Talk about the person you're missing.
01:54And you'd be surprised by how compassionate people can be.
01:57They'll find it awkward at first.
01:59Three out of five people in the UK are worried about talking to someone who's been bereaved
02:03in case they get it wrong.
02:05You know, my personal experience has been, the worst thing you can do is not talk to me.
02:10Those tough conversations aren't guaranteed to go perfectly.
02:14They can be a bit awkward or uncomfortable to bring up lost loved ones to people, but
02:18those conversations are important no matter how well they go.
02:22It means that sometimes those conversations will go well, and sometimes they won't.
02:26But again, you know, from where I'm sitting, you know, I'm eight years in now to being a
02:31widower.
02:31But, you know, I would far rather that somebody had the conversation, and it might be a bit
02:37awkward, but I'll go away from it and say, well, thank goodness they spoke to me.
02:41So, you know, I think anything we can do to get rid of that fear that people have of saying,
02:47well, this is a dodgy subject and I won't touch it, has got to be a good thing.
02:52Because you don't know how lonely the person is that you're talking to.
02:56They might seem fine on the outside.
02:58We're all good at putting a mask on, aren't we?
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