The Rookie: Mutiny and the Bounty

Parade

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00:01The ceiling leak is back.

00:03Oh, well, I can fix it again,

00:05but the truth is we need a new roof.

00:07That sounds expensive.

00:08About $15,000.

00:09Oh, can we DIY it?

00:11That would be $15,000-plus hospital bills.

00:13Roofs are my nemeses.

00:14Okay, sounds like I'll be getting a lottery ticket

00:16on the way to work.

00:17All right.

00:18I will see you shortly.

00:23Oh, hello, Officer John Nolan.

00:25What a joy to my eyes.

00:27I need advice from my bestie.

00:28May I come in?

00:29Well, I know we're friends.

00:31Think he means me.

00:32What's up?

00:33Oh, well, Snooki Putzi,

00:35I'm struggling with a major problem,

00:37one that has plagued humanity

00:38since it first emerged from the primordial ooze

00:40and ate from the pornographic apple.

00:43I'm in love.

00:44Again?

00:45This time it's for keeps.

00:46She's the one the future Mrs. Skip Tracer Randy.

00:49That's wonderful.

00:50I hope we get to meet her.

00:52Oh, what do you already have?

00:53The object of my affection is none other than

00:55the beautiful, talented, and unnervingly flexible

00:57Chastity Sneed.

00:58My brother's girlfriend.

00:59Half-brother.

01:00Yes.

01:01When we were having a wonderful role-playing

01:02adventures together at your wedding,

01:04I felt a deep and powerful connection

01:05I can no longer deny.

01:07I love Peter.

01:08Yes, he's fine.

01:09Okay, whatever.

01:10But I also kind of wish he was a little bit dead.

01:11Well, we've all been there.

01:13Okay.

01:14Well, have you let her know this?

01:15That is why I'm here.

01:16I need your help.

01:17I want to make a grand romantic gesture.

01:19What do you think she would like more?

01:20A giraffe or perhaps like a purple Lamborghini?

01:23Oh, well, those are two very different, very expensive options.

01:27Yes, I forgot to tell you how silly of me.

01:29So, ten years ago, a client paid me using a pretend wallet thingy on the computer.

01:34I checked it recently and it turns out Randy Spitz is a Bitcoin billionaire.

01:38A billionaire?

01:39A billionaire?

01:40Okay.

01:41We're like a hundred millionaire, but that doesn't roll off the tongue the same way.

01:43Anyway, let's brainstorm.

01:45What is the clearest path to Chastity's heart?

01:47Okay, we actually have to get to work,

01:49so maybe we can talk about this over dinner.

01:50Yeah.

01:51Perhaps I give you $100,000 for five more minutes of your time.

01:55I'm gonna grab you a cup of coffee.

01:57Are you still four cream sticks?

01:58Always, yes.

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