- 5 months ago
Two college outcasts set up their own fraternity for similarly un-hip students to give the campus sporting jocks a run for their money.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30Gilbert you better get up they're here I'm up you okay yeah you sure sure I'm sure
00:00:47mom you remember the first time you left home yes and I was just as scared as you are
00:00:56I'm not scared really I just don't like the idea of leaving you here all alone oh I'll be fine
00:01:03I was fine when you went away to computer camp mom it was just for two weeks I can take care of
00:01:09myself I'm much more worried about you I'm gonna be just fine anyways I'm not gonna be alone I got
00:01:16Lewis Gilbert come on rise and shine dad's waiting outside in the car it's all packed
00:01:24hi Flo hi it's a beautiful day isn't it it's gonna be a great year now I figure with lunch
00:01:30and two ARVs we should be on the road approximately seven hours 18 minutes and seven seconds
00:01:35ARVs average restroom visits oh I'm so proud of you two boys come on Gilbert let's go to college
00:01:44mom packs us a bunch and we're up to school they call us nerds cause we're so uncool they laugh at our clothes they laugh at our hair the girls walk by with their nose in the air so go ahead put us down one of these days we'll turn it around
00:02:09won't be long for my words time has come for revenge of the nerds
00:02:16hey Lewis what time you got we're trying to work out our exact ETA
00:02:20I got 237 dad how fast are we going I've got the old cruise control set at 35
00:02:27we wear horn-rimmed glasses with a heavy-duty lens button-down shirts and a pocket full of pens
00:02:34we're straight A students teachers pets they call us nerds but we've no regrets
00:02:40so go ahead and put us down one of these days we'll turn it around
00:02:46won't be long for my words time has come for revenge of the nerds
00:02:52revenge of the nerds
00:02:55revenge of the nerds
00:02:57revenge of the nerds
00:02:59Adams College home of the Adams
00:03:01Gilbert this is going to be really neat
00:03:04I sure hope so what if it isn't huh
00:03:07don't be so negative we're going to have the time of our lives
00:03:09I'm not being negative I'm just being nervous okay
00:03:12well don't be okay because everything's going to be great
00:03:14just like high school right
00:03:16this is college remember there's 6,127 students at Adams
00:03:2258% of which are girls
00:03:24so?
00:03:25so that's 7,107.32 boobs
00:03:28you college guys are all alike
00:03:32all you really care about is getting laid
00:03:34I wish I was wrong with you
00:03:37dad
00:03:42revenge of the nerds
00:03:46revenge of the nerds
00:03:48wow
00:03:49this campus is awesome
00:03:51it's a lot bigger than I expected
00:03:54maybe we should have just gone to City Tech
00:03:57come on
00:03:58tech's nothing
00:03:59you know Adams has got the best computer department in the country
00:04:02yeah you're right
00:04:04Adams is the best
00:04:06so if they call you a dork
00:04:08a spaz or a geek
00:04:09stand up and be proud
00:04:11one
00:04:12don't be meek
00:04:13hey beautiful people
00:04:14haven't you heard
00:04:15the joke's on you
00:04:17it's revenge of the nerds
00:04:18so go ahead
00:04:20put us down
00:04:21put us down
00:04:22turn it around
00:04:24won't be long
00:04:26mark my words
00:04:27time has come
00:04:28for revenge of the nerds
00:04:30here we are
00:04:31revenge of the nerds
00:04:33what an opportunity for you guys
00:04:38you're both gonna do great
00:04:40I'm proud of you
00:04:42one
00:04:43two
00:04:44your father would have been proud of you too Gilbert
00:04:45oh
00:04:46I know Mr. Skolnick
00:04:47don't tell my mother I was nervous okay
00:04:49I wouldn't want her to worry
00:04:50of course not
00:04:51don't sweat it
00:04:52thanks
00:04:53come on
00:04:54let's go
00:04:55Lewis
00:04:56come here
00:04:57sit down
00:04:58I envy you Lewis
00:05:01this is one of the finest institutions in the country
00:05:05you're gonna do fantastic here
00:05:08try not to break too many hearts
00:05:11I'll lose
00:05:12that hasn't been a real problem yet
00:05:14dad
00:05:15oh come on
00:05:16you're gonna make some lucky girl very happy
00:05:18you're smart
00:05:19easy going
00:05:20get your father's good looks
00:05:22and you've got a great sense of humor
00:05:26I really believe in you son
00:05:28thanks dad
00:05:29I won't let you down
00:05:31I know
00:05:33Gilbert
00:05:34help me with the trunk
00:05:35uh
00:05:39Gilbert
00:05:40yes sir
00:05:41college isn't like high school
00:05:44you'll be on your own
00:05:46I want you to take care of yourself
00:05:48I will
00:05:49anyway
00:05:50I won't be alone
00:05:51I got Lewis
00:05:52besides
00:05:53we're college men now right
00:05:54right
00:05:55ow
00:05:56oh
00:05:58here
00:05:59come on
00:06:00oh
00:06:01these are getting down
00:06:03oh
00:06:05oh
00:06:06guys
00:06:07this is a historic moment
00:06:09alright
00:06:10say cheese
00:06:11cheese
00:06:12cheese
00:06:13got it
00:06:14haha
00:06:15bye dad
00:06:16haha
00:06:17bye
00:06:18thanks for the ride
00:06:20thanks for the ride
00:06:21thanks for the ride
00:06:30look out
00:06:31you okay
00:06:32you okay
00:06:33yeah
00:06:41bye Mr. Skolnick
00:06:43drive
00:06:44drive
00:06:45careful
00:06:46dad
00:06:51sorry
00:06:52excuse us
00:06:55daddy daddy daddy
00:06:57daddy
00:06:58you know Gilbert
00:06:59I feel different already
00:07:01like a
00:07:02more mature
00:07:03yeah
00:07:04looks like we're in for quite a change
00:07:06I'll say
00:07:07parties
00:07:08meeting new people
00:07:09this is really gonna be great
00:07:11I don't know
00:07:12just relax
00:07:13be yourself
00:07:14like Davy Crockett always said
00:07:15you sure you're right
00:07:16then go ahead
00:07:17hey
00:07:18oh
00:07:19oh
00:07:20oh
00:07:21oh
00:07:22oh
00:07:23oh
00:07:24oh
00:07:25oh
00:07:26anyway college is a whole new ball game
00:07:27oh
00:07:28oh
00:07:29oh
00:07:30people judge you differently than they did in high school
00:07:31oh
00:07:32oh
00:07:33oh
00:07:34oh
00:07:35oh
00:07:36oh
00:07:37oh
00:07:38oh
00:07:39where are they
00:07:40oh
00:07:41I think they're talking about us
00:07:42oh
00:07:43no way
00:07:44oh
00:07:45oh
00:07:46nerds
00:07:47nerds
00:07:48nerds
00:07:49nerds
00:07:50nerds
00:07:51nerds
00:07:52nerds
00:07:53nerds
00:07:54nerds
00:07:56nerds
00:07:57nerds
00:07:58nerds
00:08:02nerds
00:08:03nerds
00:08:05nerds
00:08:06nerds
00:08:07Whoo!
00:08:08Whoo!
00:08:09Oh!
00:08:10Whoa!
00:08:11Yeah!
00:08:12Whoa!
00:08:13Yeah!
00:08:14Yeah!
00:08:15Fill her up, baby!
00:08:17All right!
00:08:18Ha, ha, ha!
00:08:21Yeah!
00:08:22Yeah!
00:08:23Whoo!
00:08:24Whoo!
00:08:25Yeah!
00:08:26Whoo!
00:08:27Whoo!
00:08:28Yeah!
00:08:29Whoo!
00:08:30Yeah!
00:08:31Whoo!
00:08:32Whoo!
00:08:33Whoo!
00:08:34Whoo!
00:08:35Whoo!
00:08:36I'm ready.
00:08:37Okay, let it stop.
00:08:38Time for stair diving!
00:08:39Yeah!
00:08:40Whoo!
00:08:41Whoo!
00:08:42Whoo!
00:08:43Whoo!
00:08:45Whoo!
00:08:46Whoo!
00:08:47Whoo!
00:08:49Whoo!
00:08:50Whoo!
00:08:51Whoo!
00:08:52Whoo!
00:08:53Whoo!
00:08:54Whoo!
00:08:55Whoo!
00:08:56Whoo!
00:08:57Whoo!
00:08:58Whoo!
00:08:59Whoo!
00:09:00Whoo!
00:09:01Whoo!
00:09:02Whoo!
00:09:03Whoo!
00:09:04Ugh!
00:09:05Well, Gilbert,
00:09:06Here's our new home.
00:09:08Can't believe we finally made it.
00:09:27Lewis, if you don't want the bed by the window, I'll take it.
00:09:30You got it.
00:09:32Thanks.
00:09:32Sure.
00:09:36You know, this is really a great room.
00:09:40Yep.
00:09:41Definite possibilities.
00:09:45Do you think maybe they'd let us put in a little refrigerator for snacks and things?
00:09:49Are you kidding, Gilbert?
00:09:50We can put a fridge and a microwave right there.
00:09:54That'd be a good place for the entertainment center, too.
00:09:57Great.
00:09:59And that's just the beginning.
00:10:01We're going to have the best dorm room on campus.
00:10:03I don't know about the best, Lewis.
00:10:04It'll certainly be the messiest.
00:10:06Relax, Gilbert.
00:10:07Remember, we got it covered.
00:10:11This robot will be better than the big.
00:10:15I love it with the women, too.
00:10:17Women?
00:10:18Yeah.
00:10:19Let's say one of us is up here with a woman.
00:10:22This will be our early warning device so we don't walk in on each other.
00:10:25Wait a minute.
00:10:26We're allowed to have girls in our dorm room?
00:10:29Not girls, Gil.
00:10:30Women.
00:10:31We're college men now.
00:10:32Isn't college great?
00:10:33It's going to be a great year.
00:10:34Come on, Betty.
00:10:45Show me what you got.
00:10:48Gable, check this out.
00:10:49Check this out.
00:10:50What is it?
00:10:50It is outrageous, man.
00:10:51What is it?
00:10:52Just try it.
00:10:53Oh, jeez, Bert.
00:10:57What is this?
00:10:59188 proof.
00:11:00It's called a fireball, man.
00:11:01Watch.
00:11:02Oh, my God.
00:11:02Hey, Zach, flame on, buddy.
00:11:03Flame on.
00:11:04Oh, man.
00:11:04Come on, Zach.
00:11:05Fireball, fireball.
00:11:27Fireball, fireball, fireball.
00:11:30Come on up.
00:11:31Nobody's in there.
00:11:33Two, two, three, me off my feet, burning down at us.
00:11:40Our house, our house is burning down.
00:11:44Our house, our house, our house is burning down.
00:11:50Our house, our house, our house is burning down.
00:11:57This must have been the electrical wiring.
00:12:00That isn't what the fire department thinks, Stan.
00:12:02Dean Yulick, if my boys say it was the wiring, I've got to believe them.
00:12:05You know, Dean, school ought to be more careful.
00:12:08Dean, we've got a big game coming up,
00:12:11and I don't want my boys' minds worried about where they're going to live.
00:12:14They should have thought of that before they burned their house down.
00:12:18What's done is done. Now, where am I going to put my athletes?
00:12:21How about the freshmen dorm?
00:12:22What about the students who are living there now?
00:12:26All right. Thanks to faulty wiring, we have no place to live, right?
00:12:30Right!
00:12:30And these freshmen, freshmen, are sitting pretty in there.
00:12:34So as of now, that dorm is ours, right?
00:12:36Yeah!
00:12:37Any room you want. Ready?
00:12:39Bang!
00:12:49Don't come back!
00:12:52There's your roommate, pal.
00:12:53If everyone follows directions,
00:13:00we can manage this move with as little inconvenience as possible.
00:13:05All right, man, I want everybody to listen up.
00:13:07We're moving out, and I mean now.
00:13:09Move it! Move it!
00:13:11Move, move, move!
00:13:12Move it!
00:13:13There's nobody here!
00:13:18Get out of here!
00:13:19All right, man, listen up.
00:13:24I'm going to say to it that each and every one of you is taken care of.
00:13:28You will be provided with the best possible food, shelter, and accommodation.
00:13:32We will try to provide you...
00:13:36Now let's move it out!
00:13:38Move it! Move, move, move!
00:13:40Move it!
00:13:41Oh, get out of here!
00:13:43Get out of here!
00:13:44Come on!
00:13:46Move it!
00:13:49Get out of here!
00:13:50Well, I know this move has probably been very sudden for all of you,
00:14:12and you're probably all still very disoriented.
00:14:16I do want to assure you that this move is in no way permanent.
00:14:21It's only temporary.
00:14:22As you can see, we've provided accommodations for you that are quite acceptable,
00:14:28and I think it'll be a very nice place for you to enjoy your studies.
00:14:31But I don't even want to go to college.
00:14:33You have a special gift.
00:14:35You need college to develop it.
00:14:37I want to be with people my own age.
00:14:39You will be with people your own age when you're older.
00:14:42But you can't just drop me off in a gymnasium.
00:14:44You look like we're refugees from war.
00:14:47We've got to go now, honey.
00:14:48Your dad has an appointment.
00:14:50Bye, son.
00:14:53It is really very comfortable here.
00:14:57Is there anyone here with allergies?
00:15:01For those of you who do have allergies,
00:15:04you can request a foam rubber pillow.
00:15:07Also, there's a television for your viewing pleasure.
00:15:11It is a black-and-white television.
00:15:14More good news.
00:15:15Because of the housing situation,
00:15:19we are allowing the freshman class to join and live in fraternities.
00:15:24The fraternities will select their new members tomorrow.
00:15:27All right, enough of the social bullshit.
00:15:31Grab a card.
00:15:33Move it or lose it!
00:15:37Go, son.
00:15:40Move!
00:15:41Move, move, move, move, move, move!
00:15:43And the Delta Kappa Gamma fraternity has selected as its new members,
00:15:55Oliver Scott and Bill Manius.
00:15:57For those of you who aren't selected by any fraternities,
00:16:03you won't be left out in the fall.
00:16:05You can stay here in the gym for as long as you like,
00:16:11or at least until basketball season.
00:16:15Please answer when I call out your names.
00:16:19Poindexter, Arnold.
00:16:23Luttrell, Lamar.
00:16:26Lamar Luttrell.
00:16:29Wormser, Carol.
00:16:32Present.
00:16:33Takashi, Koshiro.
00:16:36Yes, sir.
00:16:39Dawson, Dudley.
00:16:42Call me Booger.
00:16:44All right, Booger.
00:16:47Rahim, Taj.
00:16:49Excuse, please, but why do they call you Booger?
00:16:52I don't know.
00:16:55Posquito, Lawrence.
00:17:00Daniels, Paul.
00:17:02I knew nobody would pick us, Lewis.
00:17:05Gilbert is probably not over yet.
00:17:07There's a fraternity for us.
00:17:09Julie, Edward, Wazanski, Joseph.
00:17:13One second, Lewis.
00:17:14You sure about this?
00:17:15Gilbert?
00:17:16Yes.
00:17:17Come on.
00:17:18Hi, girls.
00:17:19Are you guys looking to join a sorority?
00:17:20A sorority?
00:17:21A sorority?
00:17:22No.
00:17:23Guy, we really need some help.
00:17:28We figured pretty girls like you might be able to suggest a fraternity.
00:17:30Well, you know, boys, choosing the right fraternal organization can be one of the most important decisions in a man's life.
00:17:37For sure.
00:17:38Guys like you have to weigh your choices very carefully.
00:17:39Definitely.
00:17:40Well, tell us what frat do you think is us.
00:17:41You guys are alpha betas all the way.
00:17:42Totally.
00:17:43For sure.
00:17:44Wait.
00:17:45Wait.
00:17:46Aren't alpha betas all the way?
00:17:47Totally.
00:17:48Wait.
00:17:49Aren't alpha betas like all jocks and face men?
00:17:50Yes.
00:17:51But you guys have that certain something I know they'd be interested in.
00:17:53I'm gonna call them and tell them you're coming.
00:17:54Should we ask for a particular alpha beta?
00:17:55Standby.
00:17:56Standby.
00:17:57Standby.
00:17:58Standby.
00:17:59Standby.
00:18:00Standby.
00:18:01Standby.
00:18:02Standby.
00:18:03Standby.
00:18:04Standby.
00:18:05Standby.
00:18:06Standby.
00:18:07Standby.
00:18:08Standby.
00:18:09Standby.
00:18:10Standby.
00:18:11Standby.
00:18:12Standby.
00:18:13Stan Gable.
00:18:15And you're?
00:18:16Betty Childs.
00:18:19Thank you, Betty.
00:18:20And Miss Childs.
00:18:21Maybe if you're not busy sometime, we could have a cup of coffee or something.
00:18:25Oh.
00:18:26Come on, pal.
00:18:28I can't believe you asked her out.
00:18:31You know, Gilbert, if we get in, maybe we can have our old room back.
00:18:35These guys are never going to accept us.
00:18:38Why wouldn't they?
00:18:39These are the Alpha Betas.
00:18:40They're the football players.
00:18:43Gilbert, I really don't think Miss Childs would have sent us over here
00:18:47if she didn't think we had a more than decent chance of getting in.
00:18:53Yes?
00:18:54Hi.
00:18:55Tell Stan Gable that we're the guys that Betty Childs sent over.
00:18:59Follow me, boys.
00:19:04Gilbert.
00:19:13Welcome.
00:19:34Hi.
00:19:36Hi.
00:19:36Hi.
00:19:36Hi.
00:19:36Hey.
00:19:40You guys seem pretty cool.
00:19:45Take these for later.
00:19:48Rubbers?
00:19:49What do we need rubbers for?
00:19:51Let the initiation begin.
00:19:59Have you ever made love to a woman?
00:20:02Yes.
00:20:03No.
00:20:03No.
00:20:06Liars!
00:20:07All right, girls.
00:20:09Let's go for the burn.
00:20:10Let's get skinny.
00:20:11And one.
00:20:12And two.
00:20:13And three.
00:20:14And four.
00:20:15And three.
00:20:16Two.
00:20:16And three.
00:20:17Okay, Takashi, what do you got?
00:20:19Oh, I think I have a frush.
00:20:21What the fuck is a frush?
00:20:22A frush?
00:20:24Oh, well, see, I got two sevens, and two sevens beats a frush.
00:20:27Oh, thank you.
00:20:28Come on.
00:20:29One.
00:20:29One.
00:20:30One, two, three, four.
00:20:35Come on, girls.
00:20:36That is your enemy.
00:20:37Hold those arms out straight and three.
00:20:39And four.
00:20:40And five.
00:20:41Oh, Jesus.
00:20:43And four.
00:20:47Smile, girls.
00:20:48You're going to be beautiful.
00:20:49One, and two, and three, and four, and three.
00:20:53So, getting into a fraternity could be the most important thing in a man's life, huh?
00:20:57You know, I truly just set us up, Lewis.
00:21:02I really don't think Vinny Childs is that kind of person, Gilbert.
00:21:08Hey, Lewis.
00:21:10What is it, Gilbert?
00:21:13I'm really sorry that I snapped at you.
00:21:16This gym's really getting to me.
00:21:17It's okay.
00:21:18I understand.
00:21:19Tomorrow morning, we'll find a better place to live, okay?
00:21:24Good night, Gilbert.
00:21:25Good night, Lewis.
00:21:27Good night, Gamora.
00:21:29Good night, Morker.
00:21:30Good night, Takashi.
00:21:32Good night, Playdex, darling.
00:21:34Good night, Morker.
00:21:37Hey, take it easy.
00:21:53Computer's your friend.
00:21:54What was it meant to interface with the machine?
00:21:57Well, you're just beginning.
00:21:59Relax.
00:22:00It's no use.
00:22:02It's inhuman.
00:22:03Oh, it's not inhuman.
00:22:04Only humans can be inhuman.
00:22:07Here, let me show you.
00:22:08Working with a computer is great.
00:22:15I mean, it's, uh, it's godlike in a way.
00:22:19So you can, uh, have complete control.
00:22:24That's good.
00:22:26Thanks.
00:22:26You know, some people, they can create with their hands, but when you're working with
00:22:33a computer, you gotta build something with your mind.
00:22:38If you're good, you can do something no one's ever seen before.
00:22:41It's a definite high.
00:22:52Uh, what's your name?
00:22:55Judy.
00:22:56Judy, Gilbert.
00:22:58Very nice to meet you.
00:23:00Nice being you.
00:23:01Hiya, boys.
00:23:07Hello, Lewis.
00:23:09Hi, Gilbert.
00:23:11Did you find the house?
00:23:12No.
00:23:13I met a girl.
00:23:16Gilbert.
00:23:18Her name's Judy.
00:23:20Judy's a nice name, Gilbert.
00:23:21Yeah, she's a nice girl.
00:23:23Big deal.
00:23:24Did you get in her pants?
00:23:25She's not that kind of a girl, booger.
00:23:27Why?
00:23:28Does she have a penis?
00:23:28Yes.
00:23:28Yes.
00:23:29You're gonna eat this?
00:23:40Smell this one, nerd.
00:23:42Oh, and coach, coach, I got to find a place to live.
00:23:45It's okay I leave early?
00:23:47No.
00:23:49Oh, okay.
00:23:51You know karate?
00:23:53No.
00:23:53Good.
00:23:53Okay, I've programmed him with all the rental units in the area.
00:24:01To achieve optimum efficiency, I've assigned each of you a different part of the list.
00:24:05This will prevent doubling up and we'll be able to blanket the area in no time.
00:24:10Booger?
00:24:12Worms there?
00:24:15DeShiro?
00:24:16Hi.
00:24:25Hi.
00:24:29you're not hi all right mr. Wilson yeah just checking hi there big boy I came
00:24:55about the room for rent it's right next to mine it'll be perfect for us
00:25:08who's there guys what do you want is this a Stewart residence why are you here I've come about the
00:25:15we want I come about the room I'll go away I do you have a room to rent not for rent I thought
00:25:21it was for rent fuck off hi Judy hi Gilbert how are you I'm fine where are you going I gotta go find a
00:25:36place to live it's horrible you guys having to live in the gym oh yeah well what is that is that
00:25:43yours oh it's my accordion you play the accordion yeah I love the accordion really yeah are you
00:25:50very good or no not really oh I'm on my way to accordion class right now do you want to walk
00:25:55with me yeah sure oh no here let me get I think I found a house isn't it fantastic
00:26:17open your eyes
00:26:24open your eyes prepare for surprise a dream in disguise you know we can have it
00:26:34a place we can be there's something to see
00:26:40welcome
00:26:43you feeling anything yet Takashi oh Booker I feel nothing
00:27:06you know you better have another hand that doesn't
00:27:08teach it to dance
00:27:12teach it to dance
00:27:14it's coming to life
00:27:16little by little
00:27:18it's coming to life
00:27:20could be good
00:27:22well I know we can do
00:27:24I know we can do it too
00:27:26you've got to put
00:27:30one foot in front of
00:27:32the other
00:27:34the other
00:27:36foot from the
00:27:38feet
00:27:40who
00:27:42the other
00:27:44down
00:27:46down
00:27:47down
00:27:48down
00:27:52do
00:27:54You got to put one foot in front of the other, put two of the foot down, down, down.
00:28:01You got to put one foot in front of the other, put two of the foot down, down, down.
00:28:09You got to put one foot in front of the other foot, down, down.
00:28:13I can't believe what they've done to that house.
00:28:16That's amazing. Looks terrific, doesn't it, Stan?
00:28:20Yeah. Well, it won't look terrific for long.
00:28:23What are you looking at, nerd? Huh?
00:28:29I thought I was looking at my mother's old douchebag, but that's in Ohio.
00:28:34Seven and eight and stretch those arms, come on, looks great, come on, one, sir, come on, get up, two, three, four.
00:28:46Good morning, Dexter.
00:28:48Uh-huh.
00:28:49Okay.
00:28:50Excuse me.
00:28:52Oh, thank you very much.
00:29:02Okay, okay, Tekashi, now show me your cards.
00:29:04Okay, two and four kings. That's good, yes?
00:29:06No, no, you got too many kings.
00:29:08Oh.
00:29:09So you got to get rid of these. Here, we'll take three of these kings out, and we'll replace them with three fresh cards.
00:29:15Oh, okay.
00:29:16Oh, okay.
00:29:18Okay.
00:29:19Here we go.
00:29:20When do I deal?
00:29:21Well, you got to win a hand first.
00:29:22I thought you would find a better place.
00:29:24Yeah.
00:29:25This is way better than the dorm.
00:29:29It says nerds get out.
00:29:39What is a nerd?
00:29:41We are.
00:29:42I don't know what this world is coming to.
00:29:47You see that man over there?
00:29:49We arrested him for Mopery.
00:29:50We arrested him for Mopery.
00:29:52What's Mopery?
00:29:53Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person.
00:29:56I'm sorry about your windows, fellas.
00:30:00It's out of my jurisdiction.
00:30:02Sounds like a fraternity prank.
00:30:04There's only one organization that can handle this.
00:30:07What organization is that?
00:30:09The Greek Council.
00:30:12Our next order of business, new membership.
00:30:16Earl, show the petitioners in, please.
00:30:26Oh, my God.
00:30:36Kneel, gentlemen.
00:30:45You are the gentleman who wished a former fraternity?
00:30:48Yes, sir.
00:30:49Yes.
00:30:55Well, gentlemen.
00:30:56As president of the Greek Council, I'm sorry to inform you that your membership has been denied.
00:31:01Excuse me, but why?
00:31:03Well, according to our charter, you must have a national fraternity as your sponsor.
00:31:08Do you have one?
00:31:09No.
00:31:10No.
00:31:11No.
00:31:12No.
00:31:13I'm afraid he's right.
00:31:14But all we have to do is get a national sponsor and we're in, right?
00:31:17Right, right.
00:31:18So, I guess we'll see you in about, say, 20 years.
00:31:30Dear Sirs, thank you for applying to Delta Kappa Gamma.
00:31:34We've gone over your application and it wasn't even close.
00:31:39In the future, we recommend that you not include a group photo.
00:31:43It's 29 rejections so far.
00:31:45Do we send pictures to everybody?
00:31:47Yeah, everybody except for, uh, Lambda, Lambda, Lambda.
00:31:52Here's one who'll see us.
00:31:55Lambda, Lambda, Lambda.
00:31:57Yeah.
00:31:58You're gonna love us.
00:31:59As you know, we have no chapter at Adams College, which is why I've agreed to see you.
00:32:10But I must tell you, gentlemen, you have very little chance of becoming trial earners.
00:32:16I'm in a difficult situation here.
00:32:18I mean, after all, you're nerds.
00:32:26According to your bylaws, you have to take us on a 60-day trial basis.
00:32:30I beg your pardon?
00:32:31According to your bylaws.
00:32:32He's right, Yuan.
00:32:33Any group that petitions can become a probationary trial and chapter.
00:32:35May I see that, please?
00:32:37Well, gentlemen, you are now probationary trial and trial.
00:32:39Hey, great, Yuan.
00:32:41Why don't we have a party?
00:32:42You can come down and celebrate with us and observe us to make sure that we're trial
00:32:51and material, okay?
00:32:52Great.
00:32:53We won't let you down either.
00:32:54I bet you we'll have the highest grade point average of any chapter you've got.
00:32:56And we certainly won't discriminate.
00:32:57I mean, our chapter will be open to people of all races and creeds.
00:32:59And sexual orientation.
00:33:00Wonderful.
00:33:02Thank you, Yuan.
00:33:03Thank you, Yuan.
00:33:04Thank you, Yuan.
00:33:05Thank you, Yuan.
00:33:06Thank you, Yuan.
00:33:07Why don't we have a party?
00:33:08You can come down and celebrate with us and observe us to make sure that we're trial
00:33:09and material, okay?
00:33:10Great.
00:33:11We won't let you down either.
00:33:12I bet you we'll have the highest grade point average of any chapter you've got.
00:33:15And we certainly won't discriminate.
00:33:17I mean, our chapter will be open to people of all races and creeds.
00:33:20And sexual orientation.
00:33:21Wonderful.
00:33:26Hi.
00:33:27Remember me?
00:33:28No.
00:33:29Well, we're having a party Saturday night.
00:33:30Would you like to come?
00:33:31No.
00:33:32Oh, well.
00:33:33Come on!
00:33:34Get it up!
00:33:35Get it up!
00:33:36Come on!
00:33:37You're shit!
00:33:38You're nothing!
00:33:39You're scum!
00:33:40You suck!
00:33:41You're nice!
00:33:42No!
00:33:43I'm not!
00:33:44How do we, Yuan?
00:33:45Hi.
00:33:46What's up, Yuan?
00:33:47Something wrong?
00:33:48Yeah.
00:33:49What?
00:33:50One of those nerds just asked me out.
00:33:51Which one?
00:33:52I don't know.
00:33:53They all look alike for me.
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:55Apparently they're trying to go party and they can't get any dates.
00:33:56Oh, yeah?
00:33:57I don't need their ancestors.
00:33:58I'll kill their parents!
00:33:59No!
00:34:00I'll kill them!
00:34:01Don't worry about it.
00:34:02Wait a second.
00:34:03Just wait a second.
00:34:04Maybe we can help them out.
00:34:05Yeah?
00:34:06Yeah.
00:34:07Then I know.
00:34:08Then I know.
00:34:09Just what to do.
00:34:10We'll put the bar over here and, uh, the hors d'oeuvres over there and we'll pass
00:34:32the rumaki and the cheese puffs.
00:34:34Oh, good.
00:34:35That sounds expensive.
00:34:36Arnold, this party's important.
00:34:38If we don't impress the Trylands, we'll never get in.
00:34:40Oh!
00:34:41Maybe we can have Robster Cross.
00:34:42What the fuck are Robster Cross?
00:34:44Have any of you guys got dates besides Gilbert?
00:34:47I do.
00:34:48Yeah, but that's with a guy.
00:34:50Well, what about you, Booger?
00:34:51I've been out combing the high schools all day.
00:34:54Maybe we should cancel the party.
00:34:56No, we can't cancel the party.
00:34:58Yuan Jefferson's coming.
00:34:59We gotta impress him.
00:35:01We'll never find dates.
00:35:03Hello, Lambda.
00:35:05We're the Pies.
00:35:07And we're here to say.
00:35:10We think you are special guys.
00:35:14Lambdas all the way.
00:35:17Alpha betas are okay.
00:35:20If you like sweat socks.
00:35:23We prefer your high IQs to their great big jocks.
00:35:30Lambda, Lambda, Lambda boys really are the best.
00:35:37Won't you take a piece of pie and we'll do the rest.
00:35:44The sisters of pie welcome our newest fraternity, Lambda, Lambda, Lambda.
00:35:49We'd like to be escorts to your party Saturday night and help out in any way possible.
00:35:59We got dates.
00:36:00I've never been out with a girl before.
00:36:02Not just a girl, Poindexter, but a pie.
00:36:05What's pie stand for?
00:36:07Pear pie.
00:36:08What's that?
00:36:09Oh.
00:36:10Oh.
00:36:11Oh.
00:36:12Oh.
00:36:13Oh.
00:36:14Oh.
00:36:25Lewis, where are the pies?
00:36:26I don't know.
00:36:27The phone's been busy for two hours.
00:36:29I don't think UN's having a very good time.
00:36:32It must be the music.
00:36:34I'll put on something he'll like better.
00:36:36Lewis.
00:36:37You out?
00:36:38Great party.
00:36:39Thanks.
00:36:40Where are those good looking sorority girls you're supposed to have dates with?
00:36:43You know women, they're probably just being fashionably late.
00:36:45Swim low, sweet chariot.
00:36:49I don't think the pies are going to show.
00:36:51They stood us up, huh?
00:36:52Yeah.
00:36:53I could call my sorority sisters.
00:36:54You could?
00:36:55You think they'll come right over?
00:36:56They're really spontaneous people.
00:36:57I'll call them.
00:36:58Crush this ice for me.
00:36:59Hey guys, we got dates.
00:37:00Who?
00:37:01Judy's going to invite the Omega Moos over.
00:37:02Oh.
00:37:03Oh.
00:37:04Oh.
00:37:05Oh.
00:37:06Oh.
00:37:07Oh.
00:37:08Oh.
00:37:09Oh.
00:37:10Oh.
00:37:11Oh.
00:37:12Oh.
00:37:13Oh.
00:37:14Oh.
00:37:15Oh.
00:37:16Oh.
00:37:17Oh.
00:37:18Oh.
00:37:19Oh.
00:37:20You can invite the Omega Moos over.
00:37:21Oh, no.
00:37:22Not the Moos?
00:37:23Yeah.
00:37:24They're a bunch of pigs.
00:37:25Wow.
00:37:30They're coming over.
00:37:32We're bubbling over.
00:37:42Hi.
00:37:43Hi.
00:37:44Are you ready for the sex girls?
00:38:03The fine, fine, super special, real sex girls
00:38:07Are you ready for the best girls?
00:38:10The niche show, niche show, big west girls
00:38:14There's a knife on your door and they're there in your house
00:38:19If you can't talk love, then you better get out
00:38:22They are women's without any fault
00:38:26Are you ready for the sex girls?
00:38:40You can all sing along, the words are really easy
00:38:49So I say I gotta be free
00:38:51So I say I gotta be me
00:38:53So I say I gotta be free
00:38:57So I say I gotta be me
00:39:03I'm saying
00:39:04I'm saying you gotta be
00:39:08Yeah!
00:39:09This party isn't going very well, is it?
00:39:19I don't know why everybody's so uptight
00:39:21Me either
00:39:23Maybe we should eat
00:39:25Maybe we should watch TV
00:39:27Hey guys
00:39:29Wonder joints
00:39:33They taste better than they look
00:39:55It's almost picture time
00:39:57Oh, goodie
00:39:58Oh, smile pretty, chickies
00:40:01Oh, thank you very much
00:40:03Thank you, thank you
00:40:03They are five
00:40:04Oh, they are five
00:40:06You try to scream
00:40:10But Tara take the scent before you make it
00:40:15Nothing, nothing
00:40:17Now I have a mic on data link
00:40:30Which hooks this phone to the computer and the robot
00:40:33This is some good shit
00:40:42You hit the doors
00:40:44Hell pie?
00:40:48Thank you
00:40:48Hell pie?
00:40:51You built this yourself?
00:40:52Yeah
00:40:52I think robots are sexy
00:40:54I do too, really
00:40:58Do you want to dance?
00:41:01Okay
00:41:01You're out of time
00:41:04I could do this
00:41:05Real, real life
00:41:08There ain't no second chance against a thing with a pointy eyes
00:41:13Girl, real, real life
00:41:16You're fighting for your life inside of
00:41:19Canter, canter, canter
00:41:21My creatures call and the dead start to walk in their masquerade
00:41:29There's no escaping the jaws of the alien inside
00:41:35Be the force of the end of your life
00:41:41They're out to get you
00:41:46As demons comes to land on every side
00:41:49Damn, you who moves sure can party
00:41:54Unless you change that number on your dial
00:41:57And now it's the time
00:41:59For you and I to cuddle close together
00:42:03Yeah
00:42:04Come on, let's go
00:42:06Where?
00:42:07Up to your room
00:42:08You want to go up to my room?
00:42:09Yeah
00:42:10Are you nearsighted or farsighted?
00:42:15Nearsighted
00:42:15So am I
00:42:16Really?
00:42:17Yeah, you want to switch classes?
00:42:19Yeah
00:42:19Cuba, we almost have the same prescription
00:42:26Yeah
00:42:27Listen, um
00:42:29Would you like to dance?
00:42:31Yeah
00:42:31Yeah, well, when I was in high school
00:42:35I was thinking mostly of the aerospace field
00:42:38But then when I got into college
00:42:40I decided that I wanted something a little more challenging
00:42:42So, um, I switched to computers
00:42:45And, uh, now aerodynamics is just sort of a hobby
00:42:48Tell me why you're so afraid to let go
00:42:58Believe me, boy
00:43:00I'm not afraid to let my feelings show
00:43:03Wait, wait, no, no, wait
00:43:15Would you rather live in the ascendancy of a civilization or during its decline?
00:43:21Point Dexter
00:43:21Do you want to fuck or not?
00:43:24You know, if, uh, we get into Lambda Lambda Lambda, we could be your partners in the Homecoming Carnival
00:43:38I know, they'd be so great
00:43:54Yeah
00:43:54This party sure worked out well
00:43:56Oh, MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
00:44:25And on that farm he had some pigs
00:44:27E-I-E-I-O
00:44:29We thought you could use some more pigs for your party, nerds
00:44:33When I got here and I got there
00:44:36There and I did it and I went like
00:44:39Oh, MacDonald had a farm
00:44:42E-I-E-I-O
00:44:44What year?
00:44:48What year?
00:44:49What year?
00:44:49What year?
00:44:50What year?
00:44:50What year?
00:44:51What year?
00:44:52What year?
00:44:54What year?
00:44:54We'll never get into Lambda Lambda Lambda now
00:44:58Man, those jocks ruined everything
00:45:01I say we blow their fucking houses up
00:45:05No, we can't resort to violence
00:45:08That'll just bring us down to their level
00:45:10What do we do?
00:45:12We gotta beat them at their own game
00:45:14We've gotta become the best fraternity on campus
00:45:18You know, if we win that homecoming carnival
00:45:22We can take over the presidency of the Greek council
00:45:24That would drive them crazy
00:45:27But Gilbert, if we don't get approved by the tri-lamps
00:45:31We won't even be a fraternity
00:45:32I say we blow the fuckers up
00:45:35Oh, we can't do that
00:45:36But you're right
00:45:38Their action tonight
00:45:40Demands
00:45:42An immediate
00:45:43Retaliation
00:45:44And if we don't
00:45:46We're nothing but the nerds
00:45:48They say we are
00:45:49I know what we're gonna do
00:45:53Down, down, down
00:46:04Come on
00:46:08We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:09We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:10We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:11We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:12We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:13We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:14We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:15We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:16We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:17We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:18We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:19We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:20We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:21We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:22We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:23We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:24We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:25We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:26We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:27We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:28We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:29We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:30We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:31We're nothing but the nerds
00:46:32Ah!
00:46:56Where?
00:46:57Right there.
00:46:59Isn't this gonna make a lot of noise?
00:47:01It's got a built-in silencer.
00:47:20Camera.
00:47:21There we go.
00:47:28Hey, Susie.
00:47:30Hi, Betty.
00:47:31God, that was fun tonight.
00:47:32We were the highlight of their party.
00:47:34Oh, I know.
00:47:35Those pigs show a greasy tongue.
00:47:36I've got to get the smell off of you.
00:47:37Oh, I know.
00:47:38Oof.
00:47:39Listen, if Stan calls, tell him I'll call him back, okay?
00:47:41Okay.
00:47:42Okay.
00:47:43Okay.
00:47:47Hey, Red!
00:47:49Hey!
00:47:50Hey!
00:47:51What are you doing?
00:47:52Give me those snacks!
00:47:53Come here!
00:47:54Hey!
00:47:55Hey!
00:47:56What are you doing?
00:47:57Give me those snacks!
00:47:58Come here!
00:47:59Hey!
00:48:00What are you doing?
00:48:01Give me those snacks!
00:48:02Come here!
00:48:03Hey!
00:48:04Hey!
00:48:05What are you...
00:48:06I mean, I'll be back! Come here!
00:48:09Hey!
00:48:10Robinson, how many cameras do we have left for?
00:48:17Step aside, Mama. I want to see some of that muff.
00:48:20Help, hi! Help, hi!
00:48:30That nerd saw me naked!
00:48:32Oh, get out!
00:48:33Ow!
00:48:34Ow! Get out!
00:48:36Hi, buddy.
00:48:37Hi!
00:48:38Oh, great.
00:48:39This is going to be a great year!
00:48:40Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
00:48:42We love you when you're mad.
00:49:09Almost there, Wormsor?
00:49:10This should do it.
00:49:12This is a stationary camera.
00:49:21We got pies.
00:49:23You got other angles, Lamar?
00:49:25Yeah, you have something else?
00:49:26Go in the room.
00:49:27Yeah, good.
00:49:31Arnold, that's her.
00:49:32Go to the right, go to the right.
00:49:34Arnold, that's the girl we saw.
00:49:38Go up, go up, go up.
00:49:40Oh, wait a second.
00:49:40Hold it right there, Lamar.
00:49:42Don't move the camera.
00:49:48Oh, no.
00:49:50I drink to that.
00:49:54Oh, yes.
00:49:55I like that night.
00:49:56Oh, that's very good.
00:49:58Can you go in that room?
00:49:59Okay.
00:50:00Yeah.
00:50:00Oh, here she comes.
00:50:07God, take your towel off, please.
00:50:09Come on, remove it.
00:50:10Is there something coming up?
00:50:11Oh, yes.
00:50:12Oh, yes.
00:50:13Is she cold in there or what?
00:50:18Get your thermometer.
00:50:19Go, let's go.
00:50:21Focus.
00:50:21Focus.
00:50:23What happened?
00:50:24No, focus.
00:50:26Just kidding.
00:50:30This is bullshit.
00:50:31I want Bush.
00:50:32Pan down.
00:50:36We've got Bush.
00:50:37Oh, wow.
00:50:38We've got Bush.
00:50:40Oh, hell, pie.
00:50:41I'm tired of watching them brush their teeth.
00:51:01See if Betty's up.
00:51:02Dooley, throw me a beer.
00:51:04Thanks.
00:51:06Oh, I'm getting tired of Betty.
00:51:09Are you kidding?
00:51:10Zoom in.
00:51:13I could never get tired of Betty.
00:51:15How could you ever get tired of that ass, Akasha?
00:51:18Oh, I see your point.
00:51:23Are you guys still watching the pies?
00:51:25Yes.
00:51:26Have you been up all night?
00:51:28Yes.
00:51:29Wormser, haven't you had enough?
00:51:32No.
00:51:34Well, I think we got even with the pies.
00:51:37Now we've got a little score to settle with the Alphabetus.
00:51:39Shit, Hank, what is that stuff?
00:51:48Liquid heat.
00:51:49It burns.
00:51:50You ought to feel it when I don't mix it with water.
00:51:59Get them.
00:52:04Kyle, yeah.
00:52:04Okay, here it goes.
00:52:14Whoa.
00:52:15Good boy.
00:52:16Okay, don't touch now.
00:52:18Okay, come on.
00:52:19Okay.
00:52:20Here, get this one.
00:52:21Okay.
00:52:21Looks like salad.
00:52:23Yeah.
00:52:23The key to each season is homecoming.
00:52:28You win that one, you got your alumni support.
00:52:33You got your alumni support?
00:52:35You got that jock dorm, you get the laundry money, you get the new cars.
00:52:38Now, this season started out fine.
00:52:42We won some big ball games.
00:52:44But we were lucky.
00:52:47We can't get soft.
00:52:49We can't sit back on our laurels.
00:52:51We went homecoming.
00:52:52We take league.
00:52:54We take league.
00:52:55We get a bowl bid.
00:52:57It's as simple as that.
00:52:59But gentlemen, you have got to want it.
00:53:03Do you want it?
00:53:05Yeah!
00:53:06I can't hear you.
00:53:07Yeah!
00:53:08We can't let up.
00:53:09We got to stay tough.
00:53:11You can do it.
00:53:13You can do it.
00:53:14You can do it.
00:53:15You can do it.
00:53:16You got to believe that you can do it.
00:53:20You got to let them know that you want it.
00:53:23I want it.
00:53:24Good.
00:53:25Oh, ow.
00:53:26Shower up.
00:53:27Oh, man.
00:53:28Shit, we forgot to practice.
00:53:35You put what?
00:53:37Liquid heat.
00:53:38On their what?
00:53:40In their jocks.
00:53:41That's outrageous.
00:53:43Are you angry, Ewan?
00:53:45No, I'm not angry.
00:53:49I'm glad to see you, nerd.
00:53:50You guys finally fought back.
00:53:52I think you make a fine addition to Tri-Lambda.
00:53:55And I want to welcome you aboard.
00:53:57Congratulations.
00:53:57All right.
00:53:59You tell the guys?
00:54:00Oh, I will.
00:54:04Okay, everybody ready?
00:54:06Okay, I focus now.
00:54:08I set timer.
00:54:09And I'll say, hi, Ewan.
00:54:13Hi, Ewan.
00:54:18Well, I'd like to propose a toast to Ewan Jefferson, who, in his ultimate wisdom, chose to accept us.
00:54:27And to our new fraternity, Lambda, Lambda, Lambda.
00:54:29Before we take this matter to a vote, I would like it clearly stated in the record, Ms. Giles, that the evidence is overwhelmingly against the alpha betas, and I urge that they be found guilty.
00:54:54Point of order, Dean Ulick, I am an alpha betas, and I know that no member of my fraternity could have perpetrated such a callous, anus act against the nerds, or the Tri-Lams.
00:55:11Therefore, I feel a vote at this time would be, shall we say, premature?
00:55:17Premature?
00:55:17Sure.
00:55:18Yes.
00:55:19You see, instead, I am going to organize a special blue-ribbon fact-finding commission made up of myself and, uh, Ms. Betty Childs.
00:55:30And we will get to the bottom of this dastardly deed.
00:55:33Wait a minute, you can't get away with this.
00:55:35Oh, no, I'm afraid I can.
00:55:37You see, only the president of the Greek council can call a vote.
00:55:42Dean, that's completely unfair.
00:55:44This is bullshit.
00:55:45Meeting adjourned.
00:55:46You know, guys, we are never going to get a fair shake as long as Stan Gable is president.
00:55:57But the only way to become president is to win the Homecoming Carnival.
00:56:01That's right, Arnold.
00:56:02And that's exactly what we're going to do.
00:56:04Yeah.
00:56:08I take great pleasure in officially opening this year's Homecoming Carnival.
00:56:16The overall winner will be determined by total points from number one, field events, number two, the charity fundraising booth, and number three, the musical show and skit competition.
00:56:38And now, let the games begin.
00:56:42Let's begin.
00:56:52Kate.
00:56:52The object of the race is to complete 20 laps around the track while stopping every lap for a mandatory pit stop, at which time the driver will chug a beer.
00:57:02You don't have a fucking chance, nerd.
00:57:06Oh, thank you.
00:57:07Good luck to you, too, Burke.
00:57:08Fuck off.
00:57:09Gentlemen, start your engines.
00:57:12This is trichloromethaline.
00:57:33It counters all effects of alcohol in your system.
00:57:35Okay, drink the whole beer.
00:57:38Go, go, go.
00:57:39Come on, Danny.
00:57:40Come on, buddy.
00:57:40You got it.
00:57:41Take his ass.
00:57:42All right.
00:57:43Go, go, go.
00:57:44Go, go, go.
00:57:55Okay, okay, okay.
00:57:56Come on.
00:57:56Are you feeling okay, too, Cheryl?
00:57:57Oh, fucking great.
00:57:59Go, go, go.
00:58:00Go, go.
00:58:00Go, go.
00:58:01Go, go, go.
00:58:02Go, go.
00:58:03Go, go, go.
00:58:04Go, go, go.
00:58:05Come on, baby.
00:58:07Yeah.
00:58:11Come on, Danny.
00:58:13We only got one more lap to go, buddy.
00:58:14It's just you and the alpha betas.
00:58:16Danny, you let that nerd beat you and you're nothing.
00:58:18You understand that?
00:58:19No, Swift.
00:58:19He lost that.
00:58:20No chance now.
00:58:21That's right.
00:58:22Go, go, Danny.
00:58:22Come on, let's go, Burke.
00:58:24Here we go, let's go.
00:58:27All right.
00:58:28Come on.
00:58:28Go, go, go.
00:58:30Oh, man, he's wasting.
00:58:31Te chi, te chi, hai-to-youtte yo.
00:58:38Come on, lad!
00:58:39What?
00:58:39You're enough, Peter!
00:58:41Come on!
00:58:42Police!
00:58:46Fuck on your damn shit!
00:58:50Cut.
00:58:51The things are changing, Betty.
00:58:55Times are changing, Betty. These nerds are a threat to our way of life.
00:59:00If they win homecoming, they're gonna take over the Greek Council.
00:59:03We'll be up to our next in nerd shit.
00:59:09Our next competition will be the Trojan Horse.
00:59:25Sounds great, it's good.
01:00:25Hoki him! Hoki! Hoki him!
01:00:30Holger! Holger! Holger! Holger!
01:00:42Oh, come on!
01:00:46Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:00:55You mark, set.
01:01:09Ooh, ah, alfa, veta.
01:01:12Ooh, ah.
01:01:14L-A-V-A-D-U-S-I-T
01:01:16L-A-V-A-D-U-S-I-T
01:01:21You win!
01:01:37Frankly, I'm not too wild about this next event, but it has become a tradition here at Adams.
01:01:42The belching contest.
01:01:46Our first of two finalists, Frederick W. Polowacki.
01:01:52Ogre, you asshole.
01:01:55Ogre.
01:02:12And from the Lambda Moo Team, Dudley Dawson.
01:02:22Booger.
01:02:23Ogre.
01:02:24Ogre.
01:02:32Our next event is one that goes all the way back to the Peloponnesian War, the javelin
01:02:53Let's roll
01:03:23Wait till you see Lamar's throw
01:03:41How come?
01:03:42Worms is a master at aerodynamics and he designed the javelin to go along with Lamar's limp-wristed throwing style
01:03:53I can't believe it, did you see that?
01:04:23I love you all, I love you all, thank you
01:04:31The Alpha Beta Pi team leads, the Lambda moves are a surprising second
01:04:41Now let's see what happens at the charity fundraising booth
01:04:44Eat a pie for charity, come on, let's go
01:04:48Eat a pie for charity
01:04:49Big break tip
01:04:56Hi
01:05:00Hi Betty
01:05:04A nerd
01:05:06I'm not kissing a nerd
01:05:08You have to, I paid my money
01:05:12It's time for my break
01:05:15Kiss this, nerd
01:05:18Stan
01:05:20Yeah
01:05:22I want to do it, all this kissing's made me horny
01:05:27God, Betty, you're like a goat
01:05:29Next
01:05:35Stan
01:06:02Stan, you changed your mind.
01:06:12I'm glad.
01:06:15Come on.
01:06:15You want to do it on the moon?
01:06:45Take off your mask.
01:06:59Oh, Stan.
01:07:01You're so kicking.
01:07:08Eat a pie for charity.
01:07:10Come on.
01:07:10Step right up.
01:07:11All right.
01:07:12Come on, guys.
01:07:12Step up.
01:07:13Eat a pie for charity.
01:07:14Here we go.
01:07:16Eat a pie for charity.
01:07:18Gable, how are we doing?
01:07:19Great.
01:07:20$1,258.
01:07:22Better than last year.
01:07:23The nerds are over $2,000.
01:07:25Yep.
01:07:26They're selling pies?
01:07:27They've got a line around the corner.
01:07:28Guys are buying two, three pies a piece.
01:07:30There's something fishy about these pies.
01:07:32Come on.
01:07:33Let's go check it out.
01:07:33Hold on for a second.
01:07:38This can't be.
01:07:43Ogre, go get a pie.
01:07:44Find out what the hell's going on here.
01:07:50Thanks, wimp.
01:07:50Get yourself one.
01:07:55Well, how is it?
01:07:56Keep going.
01:07:57Is it good or is it great?
01:07:58I'm good.
01:07:59Just good?
01:08:00Then what the hell are they selling so many of them for?
01:08:02This is why.
01:08:04Uh-oh.
01:08:04That's my pie.
01:08:12Don't feel that in my people.
01:08:13Okay, we better get it.
01:08:14Eat a pie for people.
01:08:15Come on.
01:08:16Eat a pie for good.
01:08:17Come on.
01:08:18Eat a pie for good.
01:08:19Come on.
01:08:19Oh, Stan.
01:08:22That was wonderful.
01:08:25He did things to me you've never done before.
01:08:27You're that nerd.
01:08:31Yeah.
01:08:33Oh, God.
01:08:34You were wonderful.
01:08:36Thanks.
01:08:39Are all nerds as good as you?
01:08:41Yes.
01:08:43How come?
01:08:44Because all drags think about is sports.
01:08:48All we ever think about is sex.
01:08:52What's your name?
01:08:53Lewis.
01:08:55Lewis.
01:08:57Would you meet me after the pep rally tonight?
01:09:01Sure.
01:09:07It's all tied up, which means the musical show and skit competition will decide the winner.
01:09:12So, let the music begin.
01:09:15Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.
01:09:20Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily.
01:09:23Life is but a dream.
01:09:30What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?
01:09:32What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?
01:09:33Dead ant.
01:09:34Dead ant.
01:09:35Dead ant.
01:09:35Dead ant.
01:09:36Dead ant.
01:09:37What is the dirtiest thing ever said on television?
01:09:39Dirtiest thing ever said on television.
01:09:40I don't know.
01:09:41Tell me.
01:09:41Ward, I think you were a little hard on the beaver last night.
01:09:48Gable, Gable, he's our man.
01:09:49If he can't do it, Burton can.
01:09:51Burke, Burke, he's our man.
01:09:53If he can't do it, Ogre can.
01:09:55Give me an A.
01:09:55A.
01:09:56Give me a D.
01:09:57D.
01:09:58Give me an A.
01:09:59A.
01:10:00Give me an M.
01:10:00M.
01:10:01Give me an S.
01:10:02S.
01:10:03What's that spell?
01:10:04Adams.
01:10:05Adams.
01:10:05Adams.
01:10:06They always call you Mr. Touchdown.
01:10:11They always call him Mr. T.
01:10:15He can run and kick and throw.
01:10:18Feel the ball and just look at him go.
01:10:20Give him hooray for Mr. Touchdown.
01:10:24He's gonna win today.
01:10:27So give a great big cheer for the hero of the year.
01:10:30Mr. Touchdown USA.
01:10:32He's gonna win today.
01:10:33He's gonna win today.
01:10:34He's gonna win today.
01:10:35He's gonna win today.
01:10:35He's gonna win today.
01:10:36He's gonna win today.
01:10:36He's gonna win today.
01:10:37He's gonna win today.
01:10:38He's gonna win today.
01:10:38He's gonna win today.
01:10:38He's gonna win today.
01:10:39He's gonna win today.
01:10:39He's gonna win today.
01:10:40He's gonna win today.
01:10:41He's gonna win today.
01:10:42He's gonna win today.
01:10:43He's gonna win today.
01:10:44He's gonna win today.
01:10:45He's gonna win today.
01:10:46He's gonna win today.
01:10:47He's gonna win today.
01:10:48He's gonna win today.
01:10:49He's gonna win today.
01:10:50He's gonna win today.
01:10:51He's gonna win today.
01:10:52He's gonna win today.
01:13:43I'd like to announce we've made our selection already.
01:13:45It's Gilbert Lowe.
01:13:47This sucks.
01:13:49I gotta get rid of some of this anger.
01:13:51Come on, Betty.
01:13:52Let's go pump some iron.
01:13:53I gotta get rid of some of this anger.
01:13:55Come on, Betty.
01:13:56Let's go pump some iron.
01:13:57No, Stan.
01:13:58I don't think so.
01:13:59What do you mean you don't think so?
01:14:00Come on.
01:14:01Let's go.
01:14:02Why not?
01:14:03A lamb.
01:14:04A dry lamb.
01:14:06Here's your pin.
01:14:08Take it.
01:14:10Wait, Betty.
01:14:12Come on.
01:14:14God, I'm in love with a nerd.
01:14:18Gable.
01:14:19Yeah, coach.
01:14:20I want to see you and the other girls in the locker room now.
01:14:28Yes, sir.
01:14:37When you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you.
01:14:43He had but one hope.
01:14:45Someday my son will grow to be a man.
01:14:50Well, look at you now.
01:14:54You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds.
01:15:03Nerds!
01:15:06Well, if I was you, I'd do something about it.
01:15:09I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my maker, and my coach.
01:15:19Well, let's get those nerds!
01:15:21Nerds!
01:15:22Nerds!
01:15:23Nerds!
01:15:24What are we waiting for?
01:15:25Nerds!
01:15:26Nerds!
01:15:35Nerds!
01:15:37Nerds!
01:15:39Nerds!
01:15:40Nerds!
01:15:42Nerds!
01:15:43Come on, come on!
01:16:13I'm a nerd.
01:16:21Welcome to the real world.
01:16:25I never really wanted to believe that.
01:16:28It's okay.
01:16:30It's not okay. We're nothing.
01:16:33We let them destroy our house.
01:16:36Lewis, we're gonna control the Greek Council next year.
01:16:39Big deal!
01:16:41You'd be dead by then, Gilbert.
01:16:44Nobody cares, don't you understand that? The university doesn't care.
01:16:48There's nothing we can do about it.
01:16:51I think we got something good going, and I'm not gonna let them take it away from us.
01:16:54Gilbert, don't be a fool.
01:16:56You just get yourself hurt again.
01:16:58Big deal.
01:17:00Gilbert.
01:17:11I'd like to introduce to you the men that are gonna bring you a homecoming victory against State tomorrow.
01:17:26At defensive back, number 38, Kevin O'Leary.
01:17:30Offensive guard, number 64, Rich Balroy.
01:17:37At center, number 53, Harry Reagan.
01:17:42Look who's coming.
01:17:43Hey, keep going, nerds.
01:17:44Just leave me alone, all right?
01:17:45Because you guys went way too far this time, and you're not getting away, will we?
01:17:48Saw, is that right?
01:17:49Yeah.
01:17:50Well, let's see if shit floats.
01:17:51How many think of that idea?
01:17:52Come on.
01:17:53Come on.
01:17:54Come on.
01:17:55You're down.
01:17:56Goddamn.
01:17:57Come eat down.
01:17:58Come on, go away!
01:17:59Now, our tri-captains.
01:18:02Leading the conference in reception.
01:18:04At wide receiver, number 84, Danny Burke.
01:18:07Our defensive captain, number 79, Fred Palowatsky, the Ogre.
01:18:14Now, our two-time All-American quarterback, number 10, Stan Gaber.
01:18:24Hold it, son.
01:18:25Hold it, hold it.
01:18:26Come on.
01:18:27Leave him alone.
01:18:28Coach, I said leave him alone.
01:18:30What did you say?
01:18:31You heard me.
01:18:32I'll break his goddamn neck.
01:18:33He doesn't give me-
01:18:34You will do nothing of the sort.
01:18:35Don't touch that boy.
01:18:40Says who?
01:18:43Says me.
01:18:46You asshole.
01:18:48Hold it, coach.
01:18:50You just hold it right there.
01:18:57Don't touch that boy.
01:18:59Okay, kid.
01:19:29Say what you got to say.
01:19:32Thanks.
01:19:40Uh, I just wanted to say that now I'm a nerd.
01:19:47And I'm here tonight to stand up for the rights of other nerds.
01:19:51I mean, uh, all our lives we've been laughed at and made to feel inferior.
01:19:58And tonight, those bastards, they trashed our house.
01:20:05Why?
01:20:07Because we're smart?
01:20:09Because we look different?
01:20:12Well, we're not.
01:20:16I'm a nerd.
01:20:18And, uh, I'm pretty proud of it.
01:20:20I'm a nerd, too.
01:20:32I just found that out tonight.
01:20:35We have news for the beautiful people.
01:20:37There's a lot more of us in our view.
01:20:39I know there's alumni here tonight.
01:20:44When you went to Adams, you might have been called a spaz or a dork or a geek.
01:20:51Any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join us, okay?
01:21:04Okay.
01:21:04Come on.
01:21:05Come on.
01:21:11Hi, Betty.
01:21:13Hi.
01:21:13Just join us, because, uh, no one's really going to be free until nerd persecution ends.
01:21:22And that mistake
01:21:23I've made a few
01:21:27I've had my shoes
01:21:31And kicked in my face
01:21:33But I've come through
01:21:35And we need to go on, on, on, on, on
01:21:39We are the champions, my friends
01:21:44And we'll keep on fighting
01:21:49Till the end
01:21:52You know, Coach
01:21:53I think I'm going to let these boys live over at the Alpha Beta House
01:21:57While you and your boys rebuild theirs
01:22:00And where the hell are we going to live?
01:22:02Yeah, what about us, huh?
01:22:04You're jocks.
01:22:05Go live in the gym.
01:22:06Nerd.
01:22:08Nerd.
01:22:09Nerd.
01:22:10Nerd.
01:22:11Nerd.
01:22:12Nerd.
01:22:13Nerd.
01:22:14Nerd.
01:22:14Nerd.
01:22:15Nerd.
01:22:15Nerd.
01:22:16Nerd.
01:22:16Nerd.
01:22:17Nerd.
01:22:17Nerd.
01:22:18Nerd.
01:22:18Nerd.
01:22:19Nerd.
01:22:19Nerd.
01:22:20Nerd.
01:22:20Nerd.
01:22:21Nerd.
01:22:21Nerd.
01:22:22Nerd.
01:22:23Nerd.
01:22:24Nerd.
01:22:25Nerd.
01:22:26Nerd.
01:22:27Nerd.
01:22:28Nerd.
01:22:29Nerd.
01:22:30Nerd.
01:22:31Nerd.
01:22:32Nerd.
01:22:33Nerd.
01:22:34Nerd.
01:22:35Nerd.
01:22:36Nerd.
01:22:37Nerd.
01:22:38Nerd.
01:22:39Nerd.
01:22:40Nerd.
01:22:41Nerd.
01:22:42Nerd.
01:22:43Nerd.
01:22:44CHOIR SINGS
01:23:14CHOIR SINGS
01:23:44CHOIR SINGS
01:23:46CHOIR SINGS
01:23:48CHOIR SINGS
01:23:50CHOIR SINGS
01:23:52CHOIR SINGS
01:23:54CHOIR SINGS
01:23:56CHOIR SINGS
01:23:58CHOIR SINGS
01:24:00CHOIR SINGS
01:24:02CHOIR SINGS
01:24:04CHOIR SINGS
01:24:06CHOIR SINGS
01:24:08CHOIR SINGS
01:24:10CHOIR SINGS
01:24:12CHOIR SINGS
01:24:14CHOIR SINGS
01:24:16CHOIR SINGS
01:24:18CHOIR SINGS
01:24:20CHOIR SINGS
01:24:22CHOIR SINGS
01:24:24CHOIR SINGS
01:24:26CHOIR SINGS
01:24:28CHOIR SINGS
01:24:30CHOIR SINGS
01:24:32CHOIR SINGS
01:24:34CHOIR SINGS
01:24:36CHOIR SINGS
01:24:38CHOIR SINGS
01:24:40CHOIR SINGS
01:24:42CHOIR SINGS
01:24:44CHOIR SINGS
01:24:46CHOIR SINGS
01:24:48We're the greatest, we're the latest
01:24:53No more waiting, anticipating
01:25:03And finding love, having to hurt
01:25:08Good times, happy feelings
01:25:13Having to hurt
01:25:18Good times, happy feelings
01:25:40Having to hurt
01:25:43Good times, happy feelings
01:25:46Having to hurt
01:25:49Good times, happy feelings
01:25:53Good times, happy feelings
01:25:57You can do your thing
01:25:59It's not happening
01:26:01Oh
01:26:03Ba-la-ma-la
01:26:05We're outrageous
01:26:07It's contagious
01:26:09You can change your
01:26:11Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
01:26:13It's finding love
01:26:14Haven't you hurt?
01:26:15Haven't you hurt?
01:26:16Haven't you hurt?
01:26:17Yeah
01:26:18We're the greatest
01:26:19Good times, happy feelings
01:26:21You
01:26:23Haven't you hurt?
01:26:24Haven't you hurt?
01:26:25That's right
01:26:26Imagine
01:26:31You
01:26:32Haven't you hurt?
01:26:33And you
01:26:35Have a nice
01:26:36in the middle of the night
01:26:37Where
01:26:38I know
01:26:39I can't get away
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