- 3 months ago
The director of a failing summer camp decides to invite campers from ten years ago for a free weekend event, hoping that he can trick them into fixing up the place and also get their families to provide them some financial support. The boys and girls return to the camp and play pranks on each other and try to score with the other campers and the staff.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00One, two, three...
00:00:30okay okay all right everybody take a good look around what do you see
00:00:44cap malibu yes yes yes we know that but what else herman get to the point obviously you're
00:00:52all blind i'm gonna have to spell it out for you shouldn't we be setting for this
00:00:56as you know this is a summer camp i run down summer camp now the main function of summer camps
00:01:03is to give young people the opportunity to experience outdoor living the main function
00:01:09of this summer camp is to make money now if you took a good look around you observe that
00:01:14there are no young people here see camp malibu is in trouble you mean they're gonna close down
00:01:22the camp no no no no not unless i have to but i have a plan and i need everybody's help
00:01:28i have here a list of influential past alumni i'm gonna invite these kids up here for weekend
00:01:34reunion at our expense that's your plan i don't get it i do and i think it sucks it's very
00:01:42simple dr fox while they're here we give them a big sob story about the condition of the camp
00:01:47you know really lay it on without their help the camp will fold we really need their family's
00:01:54financial support also if we play our cards right we'll get them to fix the place up i don't think
00:02:00the kids are gonna fall for it sure they will because that's part of the plan we make it fun
00:02:05competitive women's lip boys against the girls whoever does the best job will win a prize what kind
00:02:11of prize ah a certificate of achievement be careful that's liable to break you let me congratulate
00:02:16you on your brilliant but larcenous plan herman thank you doctor now everybody let's get to work
00:02:25and save camp malibu
00:02:36Summer camp, summer camp
00:02:49Where the days are short and the nights are fast
00:02:53Memories dance of sweet romance
00:02:56And the very first taste of love
00:03:00Everybody come to have a good time
00:03:04Everybody come to have a ball
00:03:08And the things we learn and all the truths we find
00:03:13Hard to ever face the battle
00:03:15Summer camp, summer camp
00:03:21You know a child came in and a young man left
00:03:25Fantasy dance, a sweet romance
00:03:28And the sweet taste of love
00:03:32Everybody come to have a good time
00:03:36Everybody come to have a ball
00:03:40And the things we learn and all the truths we find
00:03:45Hard to ever matter at all
00:03:48Geronimo!
00:03:54Geronimo!
00:03:55Yes!
00:03:56Yes!
00:03:57Summer camp, summer camp
00:04:12Summer camp, oh, oh
00:04:16Summer camp, summer camp
00:04:20Summer camp, oh, oh
00:04:24Summer camp
00:04:25I hope girls can't
00:04:31Randy!
00:04:33Hell!
00:04:37Yeah!
00:04:40Yeet, yeet!
00:04:42Woo-hoo!
00:04:43Woo-hoo!
00:04:44Woo-hoo!
00:04:44Woo-hoo!
00:04:46Woo-hoo!
00:04:47Woo-hoo!
00:04:47Woo-hoo!
00:04:48Woo-hoo!
00:04:48Woo-hoo!
00:04:49Woo-hoo!
00:04:49Welcome, kind sir, to the Beverly Hills Hotel.
00:05:15Thank you, John.
00:05:21This place looks like a refugee camp.
00:05:24Speaking of refugees, look at those two.
00:05:30Jenny Soames?
00:05:31Yeah, you're in cabin number two.
00:05:33Thanks.
00:05:34You're a horse, right?
00:05:35It's Cable.
00:05:36Mark.
00:05:37Uh, Web four.
00:05:39Jerry Walker.
00:05:42I'll call you when I need to.
00:05:45Don't I even get a kiss?
00:05:48Yeah, I guess so.
00:05:51Here you are, you little squirrel.
00:05:53Would you get your ass in the kitchen?
00:05:55I have a lot of cooking to do.
00:05:56You call it cooking.
00:05:58I call it cooking.
00:05:59I call it revolting.
00:06:00Would you get into that kitchen before I flatten you like a pancake?
00:06:01Ah, yes.
00:06:02One of your specialties.
00:06:03Frisbees.
00:06:04Come on.
00:06:05Hi.
00:06:06I'm the camp doctor.
00:06:07Hi.
00:06:08Cindy Curtis.
00:06:09Hello.
00:06:10Welcome, girl.
00:06:11Hi.
00:06:12Hi.
00:06:13Hi.
00:06:14Hi.
00:06:15Hi.
00:06:16Hi.
00:06:17Hi.
00:06:18Hi.
00:06:19Hi.
00:06:20Hi.
00:06:21Hi.
00:06:22Hi.
00:06:23Hi.
00:06:24Hi.
00:06:25Hi.
00:06:26Hi.
00:06:27Hi.
00:06:28Hi.
00:06:29Good to see you again.
00:06:30Hi.
00:06:31Hi.
00:06:32Hi.
00:06:33Hi.
00:06:34Hi.
00:06:35Hi.
00:06:36Hi.
00:06:37Oh, thank you, Herman.
00:06:38Hi.
00:06:39Hi.
00:06:40Hi.
00:06:41Hi.
00:06:42There's a strange character over there.
00:06:43I've never seen him before.
00:06:44I wouldn't want him.
00:06:45You take care of this, honey.
00:06:46Well, hello.
00:06:47Hi.
00:06:48Hello there.
00:06:49I'm Herman Samuel.
00:06:50Can I help you with anything?
00:06:51No.
00:06:52No, thank you.
00:06:53Then just what the hell are you doing?
00:06:54Uh, looking.
00:06:55Just looking.
00:06:56Looking.
00:06:57Looking for what?
00:06:58Oh, you know, gold, silver, molybdenum, possibly even oil.
00:07:02You mean here?
00:07:03Uh, maybe, maybe not.
00:07:05One never knows.
00:07:07Just who or what are you?
00:07:09Oh, me?
00:07:10I am a geologist.
00:07:12Well, uh, look here, Mr. Geologist.
00:07:16This is my property.
00:07:18So if you should find anything, you let me know.
00:07:20I'll even give you 10%.
00:07:21Make it 40.
00:07:2220.
00:07:2320.
00:07:2460.
00:07:2550.
00:07:27Hi.
00:07:28It's good to see you again.
00:07:29Steve.
00:07:30Same here.
00:07:31Matt.
00:07:32Yeah.
00:07:33Yeah.
00:07:34Hi.
00:07:35It's Horst, right?
00:07:36No, no.
00:07:37Haley.
00:07:38Haley Mills.
00:07:39You're Jerry, right?
00:07:43What you got here?
00:07:44Nothing.
00:07:45Nothing to me.
00:07:46Cool it.
00:07:47Nobody knows, and that's the way I want to keep it.
00:07:49Partners?
00:07:50Uh-oh.
00:07:51The head honchos.
00:07:52Bum, bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum pum, ba da ba bum.
00:07:53I'll keep him away.
00:07:54Don't worry about him.
00:07:55Hello, Mr. Daniel.
00:07:57Uh-oh, the head honchos.
00:07:59Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:08:02Ba-da-ba-ba.
00:08:05I'll keep them away. Don't worry about it.
00:08:08Hello, Mr. Samuel.
00:08:09I'm a horse.
00:08:10I don't leave.
00:08:11Call me Herman Matt.
00:08:13Glad you decided to come up.
00:08:15We hope that joining our team here is in your future plans.
00:08:19Speaking of my future plans, aren't you in school?
00:08:22Yeah.
00:08:23I'm registered and enrolled in everything.
00:08:25I'm just not really sure what I'm going to do about...
00:08:28About what?
00:08:29Well, I've never really been able to talk about this.
00:08:32I don't know why. I know it sounds silly.
00:08:35But for some reason, Herman, I feel I can talk to you.
00:08:38Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Matt.
00:08:43Well, the fact is, I just really don't know what to do with my life.
00:08:46I mean, the path seems so well laid out.
00:08:50College, law school, job waiting, family, marriage, senility.
00:08:55Well, what do you really want?
00:08:57Well, that's just it. I don't know.
00:09:00I mean, I could get a job.
00:09:02I could travel.
00:09:03I could bum around Europe, United States.
00:09:06Hell, I could even join the Navy or the Army.
00:09:08I just don't know.
00:09:10Well, you seem like a bright young man.
00:09:13I'm sure that whatever you decide will be the right thing.
00:09:16Thanks a lot.
00:09:16I just can't get over how much he's changed.
00:09:45Kim?
00:09:47Nah, she's changed, all right.
00:09:49But I have a feeling it means trouble.
00:09:51If I'd give anything to look like that.
00:09:54All right, girl.
00:09:56I just want to explain a few things to you.
00:09:58First, as some of you are still underage,
00:10:01and I am still responsible for you,
00:10:03there will be no boys or men in this cabin.
00:10:06Understood?
00:10:07Second, you will be in your beds alone by lights out.
00:10:14Does that mean we can't even fool around with each other?
00:10:18And last, you will keep this cabin neat.
00:10:22There is no maid here,
00:10:23and this essentially means the bathroom, okay?
00:10:26Be very careful how you dispose of things.
00:10:29What does she mean, Cindy?
00:10:31Kotex?
00:10:32Any other questions?
00:10:34Yeah.
00:10:35Do we get milk and cookies before you tuck us in?
00:10:38Real cute kids.
00:10:40As you work.
00:10:43Boy, she hasn't changed much in ten years.
00:10:46But we have.
00:10:47That's the problem.
00:10:49Yeah, well, I came up here to have fun,
00:10:50and nobody's missed standing my way.
00:10:52We're all up here to have fun.
00:10:54Well, she's only trying to do her job.
00:10:57Yeah, well, I don't know about you people,
00:10:59but I'm not about to stay cooped up in this hen house.
00:11:01Ciao.
00:11:09I assume this is my bed.
00:11:11Yours in the bed bag.
00:11:13Very funny.
00:11:15That's exactly what they said about you.
00:11:17Fuck all you guys.
00:11:19I am fed.
00:11:20Stop your second.
00:11:20Come on, that's enough.
00:11:22Jesus.
00:11:23I don't understand.
00:11:24If the guy doesn't want to be here,
00:11:25what is he doing here?
00:11:26Maybe he's in a self-abuse.
00:11:28Isn't that when you get hair in your palms?
00:11:29That could be it.
00:11:30We're going to check his palms for stubble.
00:11:31It could be he can't fit it.
00:11:33Leave me alone.
00:11:35I never wanted to come here ever.
00:11:36They made me.
00:11:37Now I understand.
00:11:39They made him.
00:11:40They made him.
00:11:42Ah, well, they didn't do a very good job.
00:11:46Why don't you shut up, you fruit?
00:11:49What'd you call me?
00:11:50You heard me.
00:11:53Yeah.
00:11:54I don't put this where the sun don't shine.
00:11:57Gnome, Alaska.
00:11:58Get him, boys.
00:11:59Get him.
00:11:59Yes.
00:12:00Get him.
00:12:00Oh, shut up.
00:12:01Shut up.
00:12:02Civilians out of the way.
00:12:04Yeah.
00:12:04Yeah.
00:12:05Yeah.
00:12:05Yeah.
00:12:06Yeah.
00:12:06What's going on?
00:12:08What is this?
00:12:09It's a giant dildo.
00:12:13What does this belong to?
00:12:14A giant.
00:12:15She was right over there.
00:12:16It's mine.
00:12:16Oh.
00:12:17All right, guys.
00:12:19Will you cool it?
00:12:20Hey.
00:12:20Will you just cool it?
00:12:22Hey.
00:12:24What's up?
00:12:24Guys, is this the right place?
00:12:26Hey, J.
00:12:26Pornelli Asshole.
00:12:27How are you?
00:12:28How's the van, Speedo?
00:12:29Oh, it is fine, and I am ready for action.
00:12:33For action, you've come to the wrong spot.
00:12:37Your bed, master, man.
00:12:39The very last one.
00:12:41You'll be sleeping on top of Sir Gerald the Jackal.
00:12:44You guys wouldn't believe what happened to me on the way up here.
00:12:55Try us.
00:12:56Well, I picked up this real looker of a hitchhiker.
00:12:59I mean, real looker.
00:13:01She had a pair on her that would kill it to her.
00:13:04Anyway, she gets in.
00:13:06Now, I'm riding along, minding my own business.
00:13:08When all of a sudden, I look over and bingo!
00:13:11She's completely naked.
00:13:13No.
00:13:14Oh, she was a real nympho.
00:13:23What are you doing?
00:13:25Watching you.
00:13:27What for?
00:13:28I think you're very sexy.
00:13:31That's what you're...
00:13:32Oh, shit.
00:13:36I was hoping this wouldn't be one of those weekends.
00:13:39I don't understand.
00:13:39Well, every so often, we get a group of girls up here and all they want to do is bawl the lifeguard.
00:13:45It's getting to be a joke.
00:13:47I can assure you, it's no joke.
00:13:50I hope whoever is responsible for this is satisfied.
00:13:56Did someone think to go get yours?
00:13:58No, of course not.
00:13:59I appreciate you two volunteering.
00:14:01Hurry up before it gets worse.
00:14:02Go on!
00:14:03Go on!
00:14:04I hope we don't get caught.
00:14:10Chicken?
00:14:11No.
00:14:23Hey, guys.
00:14:24Have you seen George?
00:14:25No.
00:14:26Gee, what a coincidence.
00:14:27Matt here was just talking about you two.
00:14:30Hi, Jack.
00:14:31Hey, you don't have to believe me.
00:14:32Ask him.
00:14:34Yeah, that's right.
00:14:35Um, I was just telling you about the two foxy chicks I saw.
00:14:38I'm Cindy.
00:14:39This is Ginny.
00:14:40Hi there.
00:14:40I'm Ricky.
00:14:41Would you two lovely ladies like to join us for a walk and maybe...
00:14:46Gee, uh, we'd like to, but we really do have to find George.
00:14:51See you around.
00:14:59Oh, that looks like we're in luck.
00:15:11Wow.
00:15:12What a swell pair of shoes.
00:15:21Oh, shit.
00:15:22Here comes Joe.
00:15:23Oh, shit.
00:15:25This one's about to fall in love.
00:15:27Oh, hey, Joe.
00:15:30What's happening?
00:15:30Well, nothing.
00:15:31What's happening with you?
00:15:32Oh, not much.
00:15:33Well, there is something.
00:15:35Uh, it's sort of hard to talk about, but, uh, I think I can feel real comfortable talking
00:15:39to you.
00:15:40Yeah, well, I'm glad you feel that way.
00:15:42Well, it's just that I don't know what to do with George.
00:15:48You're crazy.
00:15:49I could lose my job for one thing.
00:15:51It ain't much, but I enjoy it.
00:15:52Don't worry.
00:15:54I'm not going to tell you.
00:15:56Well, that's because there isn't going to be anything to tell.
00:15:58Oh, now do I turn you off that much?
00:16:01Uh, now don't go getting your hopes up.
00:16:02Excuse me.
00:16:03Uh, have you seen George?
00:16:04He's not here.
00:16:05I know where he is.
00:16:06I'll take you to him.
00:16:07Bye.
00:16:08Bye.
00:16:08Bye.
00:16:08Bye.
00:16:09Bye.
00:16:09Bye.
00:16:09Bye.
00:16:10Bye.
00:16:10Bye.
00:16:10Bye.
00:16:11Bye.
00:16:11Bye.
00:16:11Bye.
00:16:12Bye.
00:16:13Bye.
00:16:14Bye.
00:16:15Bye.
00:16:16Bye.
00:16:17Bye.
00:16:18Bye.
00:16:19Bye.
00:16:20Bye.
00:16:21Bye.
00:16:28George, can I be next?
00:16:30Please be gentle, George.
00:16:32May I please have your attention?
00:16:34Uh, please be reminded that our laboratory system here is only suited for normal use.
00:16:40Any abnormal use of the facilities will result in problems.
00:16:44Uh, one more thing.
00:16:46Dinner will be in one hour, and there's a misprint on your schedules.
00:16:49Please change that line that reads clothing optional to read, uh, wear whatever you like.
00:16:56Little hands.
00:16:58And seated next to him is Dick, the lifeguard.
00:17:01Woo!
00:17:02Woo!
00:17:03All right.
00:17:04And right there is Joe, the boy's counselor.
00:17:07Hey, Joe.
00:17:09And Alice, the girl's counselor.
00:17:11Woo!
00:17:12Woo!
00:17:13If you have any problems, you'll find Dr. Fox here in the infirmary.
00:17:16Woo!
00:17:17Woo!
00:17:18And this is my wife, Sharon.
00:17:19Woo!
00:17:20Woo!
00:17:21Uh, down, down, down, down.
00:17:24And Roger.
00:17:25As you know, we've planned a number of the activities you used to enjoy as much as campers.
00:17:34So, tonight, we're gonna have a campfire with hot cocoa and marshmallows!
00:17:41Ha!
00:17:42Whoopee!
00:17:43Uh, right now, I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank each and every one of you
00:17:51for your presence here this weekend.
00:17:54As I'm sure you're aware, this camp, Camp Malibu, has a long and hallowed tradition.
00:18:03And the responsibility for keeping that tradition alive has now fallen into our hands.
00:18:09He's gonna do that football coach routine again.
00:18:12We're now at a crossroads.
00:18:14This could be the final quarter of our last game.
00:18:19What'd I tell ya?
00:18:20All that you see here today, all that you've remembered with fondness these past years,
00:18:25is in danger of being lost.
00:18:28Now, the opponent is formidable.
00:18:30It's apathy.
00:18:32Decay.
00:18:33Lack of support, both in terms of numbers and money.
00:18:37You want money from us?
00:18:38Now, we want you on our team.
00:18:40There are plenty of spots left open on our roster for you, for your parents, for your brothers
00:18:46and your sisters.
00:18:47You could have my sister for two bucks!
00:18:49For if we don't join together, we will lose.
00:18:53We must commit ourselves to the fight.
00:18:56Not only for our own benefit.
00:18:58I think I'm gonna throw up.
00:18:59Yeah, me too.
00:19:00But for those of our children.
00:19:01You know?
00:19:02The future generations.
00:19:03The future generations.
00:19:04Someone should turn him off.
00:19:07The future is in your hands.
00:19:10We can't allow our opponent to keep us from our goal.
00:19:14We must drive hard.
00:19:16Harder.
00:19:17Harder still until we can see the light.
00:19:20Cross that goal line.
00:19:22Raise our arms in triumph, and smell the sweet smell of success!
00:19:27Skook!
00:19:28Look, I think he's trying to use us, and we shouldn't stand for it.
00:19:42He invited us up here as guests.
00:19:45To have fun.
00:19:46Not to work.
00:19:48Well, come on.
00:19:49Let's look at it from Herman's point of view.
00:19:51I mean, we could be his last hope.
00:19:53We should be selfish and just think of ourselves.
00:19:55Yeah.
00:19:56Could be the end of Camp Malibu.
00:19:57How would you live with that on your conscience, Ricky?
00:19:59Horse is right, you guys.
00:20:02It won't kill us to help out a little bit.
00:20:05We owe it to him.
00:20:07It's a free weekend.
00:20:08Besides, you guys could use the exercise and work off some of that baby fit.
00:20:12Oh, shit.
00:20:13Well, Matt, what do you think?
00:20:16Well, I think Ricky's got some good points.
00:20:19Oh, come on.
00:20:21Although, I see where the girls are coming from.
00:20:24Well, I don't know.
00:20:25What the hell?
00:20:26Well, what I don't understand is what exactly does Herman want from us?
00:20:30Slave labor.
00:20:31Oh, come on, Ricky.
00:20:33Do you want this camp to go under?
00:20:35Is that really what you want?
00:20:37Well?
00:20:38Well, I just don't believe him.
00:20:39That's all.
00:20:40I think we ought to have an orgy.
00:20:41Dive into some fives.
00:20:42Oh, come on.
00:20:43Be serious.
00:20:44I am serious.
00:20:45Argy.
00:20:46Argy.
00:20:47Now, I am ready.
00:20:48There's a woman I want to pick.
00:20:50Oh, yeah.
00:20:51Oh, yeah.
00:20:52Oh, yeah.
00:20:53Oh, yeah.
00:20:54Oh, yeah.
00:20:55Oh, yeah.
00:20:56Oh, yeah.
00:20:57Never mind.
00:20:58Hey, would you guys speed it up?
00:20:59I ain't got all night.
00:21:00Oh, that's right.
00:21:01There's a full moon out tonight.
00:21:02And, uh, you got a date with the Wolfman.
00:21:03I didn't know you liked hairy men.
00:21:04Don't worry, I won't cut in on your territory.
00:21:05Well, you got me there.
00:21:06Well, you got me there.
00:21:07If I had my choice, I'd rather bang the Wolfman than you.
00:21:09I'd rather bang the Wolfman than you.
00:21:10You couldn't bang a cap gun.
00:21:11Listen, I'm going to be back in about fifteen minutes.
00:21:12And if this place is up, I'd rather bang the Wolfman than you.
00:21:13I'd rather bang the Wolfman than you.
00:21:14You couldn't bang a cap gun.
00:21:15Listen, I'm going to be back in about fifteen minutes.
00:21:16And if this place isn't cleaned up, it's your ass.
00:21:17And the only ass you can get is in Tijuana.
00:21:19That's an important one.
00:21:20I'm going to hang out.
00:21:21Oh, that's all right.
00:21:22I don't know.
00:21:23Hey, will you guys speed it up?
00:21:24I ain't got all night.
00:21:25Well, that's right.
00:21:26There's a, uh, a full moon out tonight.
00:21:27And, uh, you got a date with the Wolfman.
00:21:28I didn't know you liked hairy men.
00:21:29Don't worry, I won't cut in on your territory.
00:21:31Well, you got me there.
00:21:32If I had my choice, I'd rather bang the Wolfman than you.
00:21:35You couldn't bang a cap gun.
00:21:37Listen, I'm going to be back in about fifteen minutes.
00:21:39And if this place isn't cleaned up, it's your ass.
00:21:42The only ass you can get is in Tijuana.
00:21:45And the poor dumb animal has to be strapped down.
00:21:48Let's get this over with. Come on.
00:22:04I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not cut off of that sort of thing.
00:22:07Now that's okay.
00:22:08Is there anything I can do to make up for it?
00:22:11What do you mean?
00:22:13Would you like to keep me?
00:22:14Now?
00:22:18Oh, is there anywhere we can go?
00:22:20Right now?
00:22:21Yes, before I throw it. Oh, think of something.
00:22:23Something.
00:22:24Something.
00:22:24Something.
00:22:24Something.
00:22:25Something.
00:22:26It's very cold.
00:22:34The warrior is very hot.
00:22:36Yeah, right.
00:22:36Oh, people, my clothes.
00:22:43Take my clothes off, please.
00:22:44Yeah, take my clothes.
00:22:45Yes, please.
00:22:46Yes.
00:22:47Oh, yeah.
00:22:49Oh, play with me, play with me.
00:22:50Yeah.
00:22:51Touch me, they devour me.
00:22:52Yes, I love it.
00:22:53Love it.
00:22:54Oh, take me.
00:22:57Take me.
00:22:57Take me.
00:22:58Take it where?
00:22:59This is all there is.
00:22:59Oh, down there.
00:23:00Take me.
00:23:01Oh, come on.
00:23:08Give the guy a break.
00:23:09Out.
00:23:11I said out.
00:23:16I hope he gets worse.
00:23:18Right there.
00:23:19Oh, yeah, I'm not sure.
00:23:22Oh, yeah, I'm not sure.
00:23:23Oh, I want it.
00:23:25Oh, I want it.
00:23:26Oh, I want it.
00:23:26Oh, I want it.
00:23:27Oh, I want it.
00:23:29Oh, I want it.
00:23:29Oh, I want it.
00:23:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:23:39Oh.
00:23:40Whoops.
00:23:41Oh, shit.
00:23:42Shit.
00:23:47Country nights where the stars shine in the sky, country nights, alone, baby, you and I,
00:23:59Country Nights, I'm a city boy and you're a pretty girl
00:24:06Here in the moonlight, we're together on a country night
00:24:11Country Nights, there's a message in the breeze
00:24:20Country Nights, and it's calling to you and me
00:24:26Country Nights, I'm a hoping boy and you're a wishing girl
00:24:33Here in the moonlight, we're all alone on a country night
00:24:38Out here no words need to be spoken, oh no
00:24:46I can see it all in your eyes tonight
00:24:54Yeah, while the trees are all sleeping
00:24:58You and I will be promised keeping
00:25:05Hey, let's say you and me have our own private little party
00:25:13What kind of little party did you have in mind?
00:25:16We'll pick us up
00:25:17Well, why don't you join the group?
00:25:20I don't like crowds
00:25:21Was there anything wrong?
00:25:24Look, I know you're only trying to do your camp mother a bit, but
00:25:27Stop, leave me, I've been taking care of myself a long time
00:25:31Yeah, I'm sure you have
00:25:33How about another shot?
00:25:39You had your shot
00:25:41College, law school, job waiting, family, marriage, sonility
00:25:55Herman
00:25:56Herman
00:25:58Herman
00:25:58Not now, dear, I've got too much on my mind
00:26:02You really think so?
00:26:09I guess you're right
00:26:10You know, I feel a lot better about things after talking to you
00:26:13I'm sure you'll make the right decision
00:26:16I really think you're right
00:26:17Having any luck?
00:26:21Sure, sure
00:26:22Some bullshit
00:26:25Well?
00:26:28Not really
00:26:28See those three girls over there?
00:26:33Hey, do you know of him?
00:26:35Yeah, depends on what you mean by now
00:26:36I mean, you mean intellectually or carnally or biblically or...
00:26:39Well, do you?
00:26:40Yeah, but I'd like to
00:26:41Come on, I'll show you
00:26:45Master at work
00:26:46Hello, ladies
00:26:52This is Mike
00:26:54My name is Horace
00:26:55They call me Horace
00:26:57I'd like to know why they call me Horace
00:27:01Because they can't call me anything else
00:27:05Once they see the size of my Kakosi here
00:27:08Right in here
00:27:10Pretty look
00:27:12Looking, everyone looking?
00:27:13So what makes you think I'm interested?
00:27:16A little bird told me
00:27:17And my, how that little bird is growing
00:27:21All right, so you turn me on
00:27:23There's lots of girls turning me on
00:27:25I bet
00:27:26Listen, if you don't stop that
00:27:28I'm going to come all over my pants here
00:27:30All right
00:27:31But that's just a sound
00:27:32All right
00:27:34All right
00:27:34Just tell me where you want me
00:27:36And I'll be there
00:27:36Oh, no
00:27:37You tell me
00:27:39Here in the moonlight
00:27:40We're together on a country night
00:27:43Here in the moonlight
00:27:46We're all alone
00:27:48On a country night
00:27:51It seems like the things have changed
00:28:19The more things remain the same
00:28:21Yeah
00:28:22No, I mean, like this weekend
00:28:23It seems like time has stood still
00:28:25Like we were ten years
00:28:27We were ten years back
00:28:28Matt
00:28:29What?
00:28:30Will you stop talking and kiss me?
00:28:42Time out to breathe
00:28:44Time back in
00:28:46That's enough
00:28:49What do you mean, that's enough?
00:28:51Haven't we just started?
00:28:53Uh-uh
00:28:53Bye-bye
00:28:55Bye-bye?
00:28:58I don't know
00:29:03Everywhere, everywhere
00:29:07Look at her
00:29:08Deep, deep
00:29:09There goes in the neighborhood
00:29:10I believe it
00:29:13Where is it?
00:29:14You guys clean up
00:29:29I'll get a dump all over
00:29:31Holy shit
00:29:33My bed's full of crap
00:29:34What is going on?
00:29:38Sounds like somebody's getting murdered
00:29:40All right
00:29:44I want everybody in bed
00:29:45Right now
00:29:46And you'll clean up in the morning
00:29:47My bed's full of fucking shaving cream
00:29:49Well, look at it this way
00:29:50You'll be able to shave in bed
00:29:51In the morning
00:29:51All the bed brings a Vaseline
00:29:53So a little Vaseline
00:29:55Never hurt anybody
00:29:55This is so true
00:29:56You city savage, you
00:29:58Oh, a good night
00:29:59Did you do this?
00:30:04What makes you think I did it?
00:30:06What makes you think I did it?
00:30:07Sacraments of California
00:30:12I've been short-sheeted
00:30:13God damn it
00:30:20I've been short-sheeted too
00:30:22Good night, guys
00:30:23The girls did this
00:30:27What?
00:30:28The girls did this
00:30:29I'm positive they did
00:30:30What should we do about it?
00:30:31Glad you brought that up
00:30:32We've got to get back at them
00:30:33Yeah, how?
00:30:35Panty rain
00:30:36Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:30:37Whip, whip, whip
00:30:39After a child
00:30:39That's when I'm ready
00:30:40Let's do it
00:30:41Let's do it now
00:30:41Right on
00:30:42Guys, guys, guys
00:30:43Did I ever tell you about the time
00:30:45That I picked up the stewardess?
00:30:46Oh, great
00:30:47Well, I was flying from San Fran to L.A.
00:30:51When this creature of incredible beauty
00:30:54Comes up to me
00:30:55And she says
00:30:55Hey
00:30:56T.W.A. coffee
00:30:57T.W.A. milk
00:30:59Or T.W.A. tea
00:31:01And that means me
00:31:03Do this article of bad taste belong to anyone?
00:31:13Oh, sorry
00:31:14Well, try to keep your dirty lingerie off my bed, okay?
00:31:18It was clean until you touched it
00:31:20Don't you girls have anything better to do than to talk about me?
00:31:27Oh, we weren't saying anything bad
00:31:29Even if you were, coming from you, it wouldn't mean anything
00:31:33Now, wait a minute, Kim
00:31:34If you're going to pick on anybody, pick on me
00:31:36I wouldn't waste my time
00:31:38Looking at you broads
00:31:40It's no wonder all the guys are chasing after me
00:31:42That's a laugh
00:31:44You throw yourself at every guy in this camp
00:31:47By tomorrow, you'll have to go to the butcher for fresh meat
00:31:50Uh-oh
00:31:51These two broads and me, right?
00:31:55They begged me to drive to the secluded spot
00:31:57Where nobody would bother us
00:31:59And we all get into the back
00:32:01And, uh, well, you guys can imagine all the possibilities
00:32:06You guys want me to describe everything in detail?
00:32:14Are you sure?
00:32:19Hey
00:32:19Where is everybody?
00:32:23Those bastards, look what happened!
00:32:26Everything under control?
00:32:28Well, for the time being, yeah
00:32:30Good, good
00:32:31Keep up the good work
00:32:32Okay
00:32:32Joe
00:32:34Yeah, Herman?
00:32:36Yeah
00:32:36Boys cabin in shape?
00:32:39I guess so
00:32:40Ah, that's good
00:32:42We could all use a nice, peaceful evening
00:32:44Jesus, the whole fucking staff is out there
00:32:49Look, we've got to create a diversionary tactic, it'll ruin the whole surprise
00:32:54We'd start a fire
00:32:55Yeah, we'd burn the camp down, I like it
00:32:57Wait!
00:32:59There's this trash can over there
00:33:00And if we throw this little ruby in there
00:33:02Explosures should distract them long enough
00:33:04Any volunteers?
00:33:06Hey!
00:33:07Your bastard's left me!
00:33:08Yeah, it was a defensive tactic
00:33:09You're boring us to death
00:33:10Go away, go away
00:33:12You sure?
00:33:13Kidding!
00:33:14Does Dolly Parton sleep on our back or what?
00:33:17He's a brave kid, isn't he?
00:33:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:33:48Come on, girls! Let's get him!
00:34:01You hurt! You hurt! You hurt!
00:34:04You hurt! You hurt! You hurt!
00:34:18You hurt! You hurt! You hurt!
00:34:21You hurt! You hurt! You hurt!
00:34:34What's going on, ladies?
00:34:40I like it to me.
00:34:48I like it to me.
00:34:53You hurt! You hurt!
00:34:57You hurt! You hurt!
00:35:00You hurt! You hurt!
00:35:03You hurt!
00:35:05Hey, George.
00:35:08George!
00:35:11Hey, George!
00:35:13George!
00:35:14I don't think that's very funny.
00:35:19What's all the noise up in the camp?
00:35:21The boys are getting their rocks off of their panties.
00:35:24Oh, yeah? Aren't you a little afraid of losing your panties?
00:35:27No, because I never wear them.
00:35:29Oh, yeah?
00:35:37Oh, yeah.
00:35:42Oh, yeah.
00:35:44Hey, is everybody ready?
00:35:45Yeah, come on.
00:35:46Cindy, are you sure we ought to be doing this?
00:35:49Must be.
00:35:49If we only did the things we ought to do, life would be awfully boring.
00:35:54Let's go.
00:35:54All right.
00:35:56Yeah.
00:35:57Oh, come on.
00:35:58Yeah.
00:35:58Yeah.
00:36:01Yeah.
00:36:09Yeah.
00:36:10Hey, let's get out of here.
00:36:13Oh, no.
00:36:13Let's have round two.
00:36:14Not now.
00:36:15Well, why?
00:36:16If I get caught, I'll just tell them it was an easel race, too.
00:36:18Very funny.
00:36:19Put this on and get your ass out the window.
00:36:21Boy, you sure know how to ruin a good time.
00:36:25Hey, we're going to have to do this again sometime.
00:36:27Yeah, well, don't come at it.
00:36:29Oh, Georgie, you forgot something.
00:36:35George?
00:36:37What are you doing in there?
00:36:40Working.
00:36:42Yeah, I'll bet you were working.
00:36:44And I know who you were working on.
00:36:46You do?
00:36:46Oh, and I want what's inside here.
00:36:50I want it.
00:36:51I want it.
00:36:52Oh, and look at this.
00:36:53Look who can finish this.
00:36:54Can you believe it?
00:36:55Hold it.
00:36:56Hold it.
00:36:57These are my shorts.
00:36:58I've lost it.
00:36:59You are a pervert.
00:37:00Sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:01Yeah, I didn't want it.
00:37:02But look at this stuff.
00:37:03I got this.
00:37:04And this I want.
00:37:05Yes.
00:37:06Boom.
00:37:11Okay, girls, let's get them.
00:37:18Oh, shit.
00:37:21Cut it off.
00:37:23This is so cold.
00:37:25May I please have your attention?
00:37:27The schedule for this morning is as follows.
00:37:30calisthenics at the main athletic field in 10 minutes everyone is expected to
00:37:36participate breakfast comes next followed by group leadership training
00:37:40projects
00:37:41uh one more thing will anyone who has in his possession the under uh the panty
00:37:59please return all items of clothing not your own to a table that's been set up under the
00:38:09totem pole so the rightful owners may claim their property
00:38:12and so in keeping with the themes of this weekend commitment leadership responsibility
00:38:24here it comes again created a leadership training activity designed to reinforce your pride in your
00:38:31surrounding not only that but also pride and accomplishment now each staff member will call
00:38:38out the names on his or her list and the group that does the best job will win a prize probably
00:38:46another glorious weekend in camp malibu yeah and second prize is probably a whole month i'm not real
00:38:51sure i understand what we're supposed to do i'm afraid they're gonna put us to work well guys
00:38:57go away
00:38:59go away
00:39:03go away
00:39:07Hey, listen here.
00:39:36I got some real hot news.
00:39:38We, the men of Cabin Tour, have a little contest of our own.
00:39:41I already have here, let's see, 10 people signed up.
00:39:43That's $1 per person, winner take all.
00:39:45What do we got to do?
00:39:48We'll refer to it as a Fantastic Feces Contest.
00:39:51Uh, I don't get it.
00:39:52You will, my dear.
00:39:53The rules are very simple.
00:39:54The longest one wins, and it's got to be in one piece.
00:39:57And with Bertha's food already in our stomach, we can expect some real whoppers.
00:40:01Want to sign up?
00:40:03I still don't get it.
00:40:05Stupid.
00:40:06And so, since all work and no play make us all very dull, fun is the order of the day
00:40:12for the rest of the afternoon.
00:40:13Oh, boy.
00:40:15Can't wait to hear this one.
00:40:16Now, the staff and I have organized a series of contests in which...
00:40:20Speaking of contests, who's winning?
00:40:22So far, horses, but just by a fraction of an inch.
00:40:25And to add to the spice of the proceedings, the two teams will be...
00:40:29Huh?
00:40:31The boys against the girls.
00:40:32Yeah, I wouldn't mind being up against her.
00:40:35The contests consist of various athletic and non-athletic events.
00:40:40How could we be expected to compete against the boys?
00:40:42I don't know, but it could be fun.
00:40:44Okay, everybody.
00:40:46Let the competition begin!
00:40:47Let the competition begin!
00:40:47Come on!
00:44:48Okay, you guys, we've got to win this thing.
00:45:04You've got to be kidding.
00:45:05They're not going to let us win.
00:45:06Trust me, the first thing we've got to do is work on our onside kick.
00:45:10What's an onside kick?
00:45:11Well, I don't know, but we'll figure it out later.
00:45:13Ooh, hold it, let's go.
00:45:21Ooh, hold it!
00:45:22Hold it! Hold it!
00:45:52Hold it!
00:45:54Hold it!
00:45:56Hold it!
00:45:58Hold it!
00:46:00Hold it!
00:46:02Hold it!
00:46:04Hold it!
00:46:06Ow!
00:46:08Kill!
00:46:10They can't win!
00:46:12Ready?
00:46:14Go!
00:46:16Easy stuff, Roller!
00:46:18Come on!
00:46:20Now! Right now!
00:46:22Well, now that we've got the ball, what can we do with it?
00:46:24This will probably be the last place it came, girl.
00:46:26Okay, now listen.
00:46:28We're gonna run a triple reverse.
00:46:30Are you out of your mind?
00:46:32Probably.
00:46:34Ready?
00:46:36Go!
00:46:38Go!
00:46:40Go!
00:46:42Go!
00:46:44Go!
00:46:46Go!
00:46:48Go!
00:46:49Go!
00:46:52You're
00:46:58Go!
00:46:59God, God, God!
00:47:07Go!
00:47:09Go!
00:47:11Go!
00:47:12Go!
00:47:13Come on, come on, shoot!
00:47:26Oh, Doctor!
00:47:27Yeah?
00:47:28Oh, Doctor!
00:47:29I really appreciate it.
00:47:31If you could check out my ankle, I think I sprained.
00:47:42Here?
00:47:43No!
00:47:44In the infirmary.
00:47:45Oh.
00:47:46Now tell me, how long have you been having these pains?
00:47:51Oh, it happened now.
00:47:53Very recently.
00:47:54Don't be a bad sport.
00:47:57Cheer up.
00:47:58For what?
00:47:59Maybe for me.
00:48:00The competition isn't over yet.
00:48:02What do you mean?
00:48:03Hey, Ricky, get in here.
00:48:05Terry's about to make history.
00:48:06I'll bet the Guinness World War II.
00:48:08The Guinness World Book of Records has nothing like this on its hands.
00:48:15Well.
00:48:16Come on.
00:48:17Come on.
00:48:18Come on.
00:48:19Come on.
00:48:20Come on.
00:48:21Come on.
00:48:22Oh, I just love the way this feels against my naked eye.
00:48:36Now.
00:48:37Now then, uh, uh, where's that problem?
00:48:42Well, you see, Doctor, I, uh, I've got this itch, and nobody I know has been able to scratch it yet.
00:48:51Well, uh, have you, uh, tried calamine lotion?
00:48:55No.
00:48:56Have you tried this one?
00:48:57No.
00:48:58No.
00:48:59No.
00:49:00Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner at 13 inches and still moving around to the bathroom floor.
00:49:10The winner of Cabin 2's first annual fantastic CC contest is...
00:49:14Jerry!
00:49:15How gross!
00:49:16If you ladies think that was gross, wait till you find out what you'll be measuring in tonight's contest.
00:49:26Yeah!
00:49:27Yeah.
00:49:28Roll, roll your books gently down the stream.
00:49:33Mellie Miller, let the dream.
00:49:37Roll, roll, roll your books gently down the screen.
00:49:41Mellie Miller, let the dream.
00:49:44We want the girls.
00:49:46We want the girls.
00:49:48Let the dream.
00:49:57Oh, my.
00:50:09Boat! Boat! Boat!
00:50:12Ah, the boat.
00:50:22Oh, stream.
00:50:24I don't like this one bit.
00:50:40Me neither.
00:50:41May I please have your attention?
00:50:45I'd like to congratulate the girls on their victory in today's competition.
00:50:50Now, the announcement you've all been waiting for.
00:50:58Tonight's activity will be a disco.
00:51:04And the theme for the disco will be Knights of Arabia.
00:51:09And what does that mean?
00:51:11Everyone will have to improvise some sort of costume within the bounds of good taste.
00:51:16And the winners will receive a...
00:51:18Receive a prize so fabulous I can't tell you what it is!
00:51:25Yeah, probably the same prize you forgot to award at lunch.
00:51:28Muffy, you take the spaghetti, you take the punch, Ginny the pie.
00:51:31Ready?
00:51:32All right.
00:51:32All right.
00:51:48The fireworks is now.
00:52:02Wow.
00:52:03Wow.
00:52:03Oh, my God!
00:52:05Oh, my God!
00:52:06Oh, my God!
00:52:07Oh, my God!
00:52:37Oh, my God!
00:52:39How beautiful!
00:52:45Hey, guys!
00:52:47How's it going?
00:52:49We're getting there.
00:52:57I like them better.
00:52:59Jesus, I'm not going to trust in those dumb brags.
00:53:03It really figures, Pam, you can never get into anything, can you?
00:53:07No, Jenny, I do.
00:53:09Hey, do you really think you'd be able to teach me how to dance?
00:53:13Oh, of course, love, no problem.
00:53:15Hey, what do you guys think about this?
00:53:19Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
00:53:21You, sit down.
00:53:24Linda, we are going to make you beautiful.
00:53:27These have got to come off.
00:53:29But I can't see anything!
00:53:31I don't care, fake it, and the hair is going to come down.
00:53:35My mom likes this hairdo.
00:53:37Your mommy is in a camp with you.
00:53:39I've got to get going now.
00:53:41Well, what's the difference?
00:53:43I've got to figure out my costume for tonight.
00:53:45You should, too.
00:53:47Just one more.
00:53:49See ya.
00:53:50Okay.
00:53:51I've got to get going now.
00:53:52I've got to figure out my costume for tonight.
00:53:54You should, too.
00:53:55Just one more.
00:53:56See ya.
00:53:57Okay.
00:53:58You should, too.
00:53:59Just one more.
00:54:00See ya.
00:54:01Okay.
00:54:02See ya.
00:54:03See ya.
00:54:04Okay.
00:54:05See ya.
00:54:06See ya.
00:54:07Okay.
00:54:08And you can here.
00:54:09See ya.
00:54:10Ooh!
00:54:12Ooh!
00:54:13Ooh.
00:54:14Uh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:54:15Oh, my God.
00:54:45Oh, my God.
00:55:16Yes.
00:55:18Sit with me.
00:55:24I'll be all right.
00:55:25I just needed a good cry.
00:55:27What?
00:55:29Oh, lots of reasons.
00:55:31Things you probably wouldn't understand
00:55:33until you get a little older.
00:55:36What?
00:55:37Oh, things like loneliness
00:55:42and getting old.
00:55:48When I see all you kids with all that vitality,
00:55:51I get envious.
00:55:54Do you know what that's like?
00:55:55Look, you've still got time
00:55:59to change your life.
00:56:03And it's too late for me.
00:56:04Oh, Matt, look at me.
00:56:13I'm 35 years old,
00:56:15and I'm losing my look.
00:56:17I think you're a very beautiful woman.
00:56:23Oh, you're just saying that.
00:56:25No.
00:56:26I really mean it.
00:56:27I really do.
00:56:30Kiss me.
00:56:30There's no one around.
00:56:36I don't, you know, I...
00:56:38I don't know.
00:56:55I'll try it again.
00:57:04Whoa, Matt, easy.
00:57:06Easy, Matt.
00:57:07I'm sorry.
00:57:08No.
00:57:09I'm sorry, I just...
00:57:12Don't be sorry, Matt.
00:57:15I'm not.
00:57:17Does it say I'm not?
00:57:19Matt, come here.
00:57:25Matt, come here.
00:57:55?
00:58:19You set my heart high
00:58:22Woo!
00:58:23Making my desire
00:58:26Oh!
00:58:27You got me going now
00:58:29Can't wait
00:58:30So I put off your honey pie
00:58:33Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me your love
00:58:37Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me your love
00:58:41Give me, give me, give me your love
00:58:44Honey, give me your love
00:58:46We will sail together now, you and I
00:58:54Together we'll discover paradise
00:59:03Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me your love
00:59:07Give me, give me, give me, give me your love
00:59:10You wanna?
00:59:11No
00:59:12No, sure
00:59:14I love to dump
00:59:16Hands
00:59:21Are you okay?
00:59:22Sure
00:59:23Why?
00:59:24You're so quiet
00:59:25I'm so quiet
00:59:27I'll get with you
00:59:33Hi, I'm Steve and you're really a foxy chick
00:59:36I don't believe we've met
00:59:37I'm Linda, you dummy
00:59:39Huh?
00:59:40It's Linda all right
00:59:41Wait, wait a minute, hold, hold me
00:59:43Hold, hold me
00:59:44Wait a minute
01:00:05Horace my boy
01:00:06Having fun?
01:00:07Oh yeah, well, good
01:00:09Good
01:00:10When you get home, be sure and tell your folks about it
01:00:13You know, how much fun you had and about the champ's problem
01:00:17I hope you know
01:00:18I will
01:00:19By the way, how's your father's export business doing?
01:00:22He's not
01:00:23Huh?
01:00:24Thank you
01:00:25Oh
01:00:26Oh
01:00:27Oh
01:00:28Oh
01:00:29I can't believe you're eating all that
01:00:31Mmm
01:00:33Don't worry
01:00:34I save plenty of room to eat you for reserve by a little sugar home
01:00:38I want to get laid tonight
01:00:51You heard me
01:00:53I want a man
01:00:55Tonight
01:00:56Are you sure?
01:00:57Are you sure?
01:00:58Of course I'm sure
01:00:59Of course I'm sure
01:01:00What's the matter?
01:01:01Aren't I as good as anybody else?
01:01:03Of course you are, Muffy
01:01:04Well, do you have anybody in particular in mind?
01:01:08Well, after eliminating the boys that you guys are interested in
01:01:12I've decided
01:01:14I've decided
01:01:15On
01:01:16Him
01:01:17Him?
01:01:18Are you kidding?
01:01:20No, I'm quite serious
01:01:22Hey, where are you taking me?
01:01:24Shut up and come with us
01:01:26For the campsite, why don't you have them send your sister out?
01:01:31My sister?
01:01:32No way
01:01:33Not with all the smoking and boozing around here
01:01:36Of course
01:01:39How would you like to get laid tonight?
01:01:47You care who it is?
01:01:49Are you sure?
01:01:53Oh, I see
01:01:57Hey, what about me guys?
01:02:07Of course
01:02:08This is very special we knew
01:02:10You could turn a nun into a nymphomaniac
01:02:38I don't have any brothers or sisters
01:02:40You don't?
01:02:41Couldn't your family adopt some?
01:02:42Hey, what do I do next?
01:02:44Hey, what do I do next?
01:02:45What do you mean what do I do next?
01:02:46What do you mean what do I do next?
01:02:47Have you ever been alone with a girl before?
01:02:48Have you ever been alone with a girl before?
01:02:49That's right
01:02:50That's right
01:02:51No
01:02:52No
01:02:53Are you shitting me?
01:02:54No
01:02:55Are you shitting me?
01:02:56What do you mean what do I do next?
01:02:58Cut it out and tell me what I'm supposed to do next?
01:02:59Look, we gotta get her to quit coughing
01:03:00Look, we gotta get her to quit coughing
01:03:01Try water
01:03:02Oh, hello, hello, hello
01:03:03Hello, hello, girls
01:03:04I am Mike
01:03:05And I'm gonna be having a little get together in my van
01:03:07Oh, hey, what do I do next?
01:03:10Hey, what do I do next?
01:03:11What do you mean what do I do next?
01:03:15Have you ever been alone with a girl before?
01:03:17Ha, no
01:03:20Are you shitting me!
01:03:23Don't cut it out and tell me what I'm supposed to do next
01:03:25Look, we gotta get her to quit coughing
01:03:27Try water
01:03:29Hello, hello, hello girls
01:03:31I am Mike
01:03:32And I'm gonna be having a little get together in my van
01:03:33Okay, and I'm gonna be having a little get together in my van
01:03:35And then later on, just some sheeps and, uh, cowgirls.
01:03:55Wow.
01:03:57That's wonderful water.
01:04:01That's the best water I ever had.
01:04:05It's clean and it's cool, fresh.
01:04:11Wet.
01:04:12Wet?
01:04:14Yeah.
01:04:35Wet.
01:04:44Wet.
01:04:45Wet.
01:04:46Wet.
01:04:47Wet.
01:04:48Tell me, do you think a slave and his mistress can ever find true happiness together?
01:05:08That's very possible, but you don't look like a slave.
01:05:14Well, that's because my sheets haven't come back yet from the laundry.
01:05:18What's your excuse?
01:05:19You know, with your family's connections, I'm sure they could help us out.
01:05:23I don't know about that, but I'd like to help you out.
01:05:26How?
01:05:27You know, a tit for chat.
01:05:33How do you feel?
01:05:36Terrific.
01:05:38Oh, it feels so good.
01:05:42Oh, shit. I gotta go.
01:05:44Why?
01:05:45Never mind, don't worry. I'll be right back.
01:05:48Well?
01:05:57Make yourself comfortable.
01:06:05Can I get you a drink or something?
01:06:10Scott, straight up.
01:06:11Straight up it is.
01:06:32To us.
01:06:34Undress me.
01:06:45Sure.
01:06:55Okay, take me over to the bed.
01:06:57Hurry up.
01:07:08Hurry up.
01:07:10Oh, shit.
01:07:13Oh, shit.
01:07:14Oh, shit.
01:07:16Oh, shit.
01:07:16Scamming position.
01:07:20Because they are ready.
01:07:24Rolling.
01:07:26Sex at its best.
01:07:28Take one.
01:07:29Action.
01:07:30Okay, doctor, you're going to do everything I want you to do, right?
01:07:38Right.
01:07:40Okay.
01:07:41Kiss my fingers.
01:07:44Harder.
01:07:45Come on.
01:07:47Okay, that's good.
01:07:49I want you to bite my neck now.
01:07:51Ooh, my ear.
01:07:56Come on.
01:07:58Okay, that's good.
01:08:00Now I want you to kiss my breath.
01:08:06Good.
01:08:09Good.
01:08:12Now, I know what you want and I want it too.
01:08:16I'm going to walk all over you with my heels.
01:08:22Great.
01:08:25Okay, I want you to kiss my toe first.
01:08:28Could we talk about this for a moment or so?
01:08:30Come on and kiss it.
01:08:35How does that feel?
01:08:37Great.
01:08:38Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
01:08:40Wow, look at that.
01:08:43I wonder if this is where the last guy got it started.
01:08:46Come on, Dr. Horner.
01:08:48Come on, Dr. Horner.
01:08:50I'm coming.
01:08:51I'm going, Horner.
01:08:52I don't.
01:09:01It's a wrap.
01:09:03Thank God.
01:09:04It was an Academy Award performance.
01:09:06You know it.
01:09:07Yeah.
01:09:07Now, let's get this equipment back like fast.
01:09:09Let's go.
01:09:09Let's go.
01:09:10They got it.
01:09:31Oh, you got me going now, I can't wait, so I put off your honey for the blue face.
01:09:43Give me, give me, give me, give me your love.
01:09:47Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me your love.
01:09:51Give me, give me, give me, honey, give me your love.
01:09:57Oh, we will sing together now, you and I.
01:10:04Oh, together we'll discover paradise.
01:10:12Give me, give me, give me, give me your love.
01:10:16Give me, give me, give me your love.
01:10:20May I have your attention, please?
01:10:23We will now view videotaped highlights of today's activities.
01:10:38Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
01:10:41This is your renouncer, Herman Sands.
01:10:44Inviting you to join us for the first annual camp.
01:10:48I'm going right.
01:10:49Herman!
01:10:50Herman!
01:10:51Herman!
01:10:52Herman!
01:10:53Herman!
01:10:54Herman!
01:10:55Herman!
01:10:56nesse home, give me your hands, oh, woohoo!
01:11:16Hey Dr. Fox, can I be next, any floppy seconds?
01:11:20Oh shit, ma'am.
01:11:22The party's over.
01:11:32Where are we going?
01:11:33I tell you, it'll ruin the surprise.
01:11:35I don't like surprises.
01:11:37You'll like this one.
01:11:39Oh, Horace, look at the stars.
01:11:41They're beautiful.
01:11:43I want to fly up to them.
01:11:45Mike, Mike, Mike, you've got to let me use your van.
01:11:48Gee, I don't know.
01:11:49Come on, anything.
01:11:49I'll do anything for you.
01:11:50I got it, buddy.
01:11:51Can I watch?
01:11:53Mike, don't do this to me.
01:11:55All right, all right.
01:11:55It was just an idea.
01:11:56Just an idea.
01:11:57You can have it.
01:11:57The keys are in there.
01:11:58Yeah.
01:11:58You're a pal.
01:11:59You're a buddy.
01:12:00You're a pal.
01:12:05Do you want to go for a walk?
01:12:14Mrs. Samuels, I, uh, I just want to...
01:12:21Well, I really don't know how to say this, but I...
01:12:24You don't have to.
01:12:26I understand.
01:12:28You want Cindy.
01:12:31Yeah.
01:12:34I'm sorry, Mrs. Samuels, but I...
01:12:36Don't be.
01:12:36I'll remember our moment for a long, long time.
01:12:43Can we remember this together?
01:12:45Sure.
01:12:46And nothing can ever take this away from us.
01:12:49No.
01:12:55All chariots awaits.
01:13:05You mean this?
01:13:06Yeah, why not?
01:13:08You know, you ought to be on the stage.
01:13:10Oh, yeah, the first stage out of town.
01:13:23Hey, Dick.
01:13:23I think there's a leak in the moon bounce.
01:13:25I think you better go check it.
01:13:27Shit.
01:13:27Come on, everybody.
01:13:36Let's have a drink.
01:13:38We deserve it.
01:13:39Oh, you can say that again.
01:13:42Okay.
01:13:43Come on, everybody.
01:13:44Let's have a drink.
01:13:45We deserve it.
01:13:45Wow, Horace.
01:13:47They're beautiful.
01:13:49Isn't that the Big Dipper?
01:13:51Huh?
01:13:52The stars.
01:13:54Aren't they beautiful?
01:13:59Well, there's nothing wrong with it.
01:14:01No, look inside.
01:14:06Come on.
01:14:09What's going on for you?
01:14:10What are we going to do?
01:14:12Help!
01:14:12Help!
01:14:12Help!
01:14:13Help!
01:14:13Help!
01:14:13Help!
01:14:14Help!
01:14:14Help!
01:14:15Help!
01:14:15Help!
01:14:16Help!
01:14:16Help!
01:14:16Help!
01:14:17Help!
01:14:18Help!
01:14:18Help!
01:14:19Help!
01:14:19Help!
01:14:20Help!
01:14:20Help!
01:14:21He likes me.
01:14:22she likes me not
01:14:24she likes me
01:14:27she likes me not
01:14:29she likes me
01:14:31she likes me not
01:14:35shit, no one likes me
01:14:52oh, this is number one
01:15:02and we're having lots of fun
01:15:04roll me over, lay me down and do it again
01:15:08roll me over
01:15:11oh, Steve
01:15:22what?
01:15:28oh, Steve, Mike's in trouble
01:15:29what kind of trouble?
01:15:31his van is stuck
01:15:32come on, I'll take it to you
01:15:33what's wrong?
01:15:35I'm going to give Mike a hand
01:15:36I'll be right back
01:15:36yes, we better take your bike
01:15:38it'll be a lot faster
01:15:39Cindy
01:15:44Cindy
01:15:47look, I'm sorry, okay?
01:15:51it was nothing
01:15:52just please don't be angry with me
01:15:53I'm not angry with you, Matt
01:15:55you're not?
01:15:57no
01:15:57I'm furious
01:15:59come here
01:16:05hey, I got a great idea
01:16:08what?
01:16:09good for I to the beach
01:16:10okay
01:16:12guess who?
01:16:21I don't know who
01:16:23it's me
01:16:24who's me?
01:16:26me
01:16:27oh, me
01:16:29I mean you
01:16:31come on, Mike
01:16:33time
01:16:34for what?
01:16:37it's time for us to make
01:16:39mad
01:16:41passionate
01:16:42animalistic love
01:16:45are you kidding?
01:16:52you're not kidding
01:16:54she's not kidding
01:16:55stop here
01:16:58where's Mike?
01:17:06I don't know
01:17:07I don't get it
01:17:08aw, come on
01:17:11Steve
01:17:11don't be so naive
01:17:13come here
01:17:15hey, look, Kim
01:17:16cut the crap
01:17:17I've got to get back to Linda
01:17:18well, what for?
01:17:20you know
01:17:21you'd have a much
01:17:22better time
01:17:22with me
01:17:23come on
01:17:25Steve
01:17:25give it a chance
01:17:28huh?
01:17:29you could grow
01:17:29and put your dress back on
01:17:30no
01:17:31suit yourself
01:17:33hey, where'd you go?
01:17:37back to Linda
01:17:37you know you're
01:17:39a little bastard
01:17:39how'd you find out
01:17:40it's supposed to be
01:17:41a family secret
01:17:41stop it
01:17:42and the saints go marching
01:18:11it's over
01:18:16what say Herman?
01:18:22I said it's over
01:18:24what's over?
01:18:27the camp
01:18:27done
01:18:33finished
01:18:35the end
01:18:37period
01:18:39oh, Herman
01:18:41it can be
01:18:42oh, it is
01:18:44only a miracle
01:18:47could save it
01:18:48now
01:18:48the kids might
01:18:50still come there
01:18:51even if they did
01:18:57it wouldn't help
01:18:57oh
01:18:59we
01:19:00might be able
01:19:01to coast by
01:19:02for another year
01:19:03come on
01:19:12dear
01:19:12let's go to bed
01:19:13I don't know
01:19:33I don't know
01:19:34Herman, don't worry.
01:19:43There are other things in this world besides this can.
01:19:46We'll find something.
01:19:49You're right, and we will.
01:19:52Together.
01:19:54Hey, Herman, have you seen Dick?
01:19:57Yeah, I don't know.
01:19:58I'm...
01:20:04Hey, Mike.
01:20:13Yeah?
01:20:13How'd you make out last night?
01:20:14Did you get any?
01:20:15Hey, Steve, I mean, that's personal.
01:20:17You know, I don't believe in bragging about things like that.
01:20:20Well, did you?
01:20:25Of course.
01:20:27Take it easy.
01:20:28It's been a lot of fun.
01:20:30Yeah, and don't do anything we wouldn't do.
01:20:32Well, you guys are real.
01:20:35Jeez.
01:20:37Well, excuse us!
01:20:43Oh, hey, Cindy, isn't that what's-her-name?
01:20:45Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
01:20:47Can I have your autograph?
01:20:49We saw you on the tube last night.
01:20:50You're our favorite star.
01:20:52Oh, fuck off, will you?
01:20:55Are you Mike?
01:20:56Yeah?
01:20:57We have heard so much about you, lover.
01:21:00Can we ride with you?
01:21:04Sure.
01:21:05Get those little tipsy, dear.
01:21:09Hiya.
01:21:10Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
01:21:12Where are you going?
01:21:13Home.
01:21:13Not on that bus.
01:21:14You're going with us.
01:21:16I thought they'd never ask.
01:21:19Well, okay.
01:21:21Okay.
01:21:25You rotten mother!
01:21:27Good-bye, Herman.
01:21:29Oh.
01:21:30Thanks, Bob.
01:21:31Thank you, Mr. Samuels.
01:21:32Come on.
01:21:36Thanks for coming.
01:21:37Oh, God.
01:21:38Good-bye.
01:21:38Thanks, Mr. Samuels.
01:21:40We had a great time.
01:21:42You know, the guys and I had a little talking.
01:21:45We decided we're going to try our darndest to help out the camp.
01:21:48Oh, thanks, Ricky.
01:21:49I certainly appreciate that.
01:21:51Bye-bye.
01:21:52Good-bye.
01:21:52Well, Herman, that's just about done as we're all finished up.
01:21:56Okay.
01:21:56Thanks, George.
01:22:01Wait until I get my hand out!
01:22:04Nothing will happen.
01:22:05You've been abusing that pipe.
01:22:06So long, you don't know what to do with the real thing.
01:22:08Oh, dear.
01:22:09You probably try to plug it into a wall.
01:22:11Listen, I could get more sex in a week than you could in a whole year.
01:22:16What?
01:22:16If I wanted to.
01:22:18What makes you think the zoo would let you do that to their animals?
01:22:19Oh!
01:22:20Hey!
01:22:25Wait for me!
01:22:26Wait for me!
01:22:40You know, Matt?
01:22:42Seriously?
01:22:43I don't know what I'm going to do with my life.
01:22:46I mean, college, job waiting, marriage.
01:22:49What up yours, Ricky?
01:22:51Mr. Samuels!
01:22:52Mr. Samuels!
01:22:55Mr. Samuels!
01:22:56Mr. Samuels!
01:22:57You remember me, huh?
01:22:58Yes, yes.
01:22:59You're that, uh, Mr. Geologist.
01:23:02Right, right.
01:23:02And you'll never guess what I found.
01:23:04It's fantastic.
01:23:05Over there...
01:23:05Don't tell me.
01:23:07Let me get it.
01:23:08You discovered oil on the property, right?
01:23:12Absolutely.
01:23:14And I'm going to be a very rich man, right?
01:23:17Yeah, right.
01:23:20Well, what do you say, huh?
01:23:22What do I say?
01:23:23I'm rich!
01:23:29I'm rich!
01:23:29I'm rich!
01:23:31We're rich!
01:23:32We're rich!
01:23:34The camp is safe!
01:23:37We're rich!
01:23:38We're all rich!
01:23:42We're rich!
01:23:43The camp is safe!
01:23:47The summer camp, summer camp
01:23:50Where the days are short and the nights are fast
01:23:55Memories dance, a sweet romance
01:23:58And the very first taste of love
01:24:02Everybody come to have a good time
01:24:06Everybody come to have a ball
01:24:10And the things we've learned
01:24:13And all the truths we find
01:24:15Hardly ever face us at all
01:24:18At all
01:24:19Everybody come from
01:24:22Go Dad
01:24:22ar
01:24:23What Oo
01:24:23I'm rich!
01:24:24I'm rich!
01:24:34Everybody come to have a hut
01:24:34Where the hell tried
01:24:35I'm rich!
01:24:36I'm rich!
01:24:37I'm rich!
01:24:40I'm rich!
01:24:41I'm rich!
01:24:43How many gifts?
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