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00:00Welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:30Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:33If you've never saw this show before, what happens is these guys are going to come up and make stuff up for you right in front of your very eyes based on suggestions on these cards and think of pocket for a confugle.
00:47Then I give them points, but who cares about the points because the points don't matter.
00:50I just pick whoever I like the best and they get to do a little something special with me at the end of the show.
00:53Yeah. When I say do a little something with me, that's just what I mean.
01:05We're going to start with a game called Superheroes. This is for all four of you.
01:09Brad is going to start the game. He's going to be an unlikely superhero.
01:12Then they're going to name each other as they come in.
01:13And what I need from the audience is a name of an unlikely superhero.
01:18No, a big up one.
01:19What?
01:20Body and Paint Man.
01:21Body and Paint Man.
01:25Body and Paint Man.
01:27And what's the prices for Body and Paint Man?
01:29Wallpaper.
01:30Wallpaper.
01:31Bad wallpaper.
01:32Bad wallpaper.
01:33Bad wallpaper.
01:35Bad.
01:35Oh.
01:36Body and Paint Man.
01:40There's bad wallpaper all over the world.
01:42What are you going to do?
01:48Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping.
01:52That looks pretty good.
01:53Oh my goodness, but it doesn't go with the wallpaper.
01:57I just painted my Porsche fuchsia and now it doesn't go with my room.
02:03Sorry I'm late.
02:06Good thing you're here.
02:09Just back from the dentist after invasive root canal surgery, man.
02:14Cow of the...
02:15Oh.
02:16Oh.
02:17Oh.
02:17Oh.
02:18Don't breathe in.
02:19Oh.
02:20Oh.
02:22Sorry I'm late.
02:24Just got plastered.
02:25Oh.
02:27Thank God.
02:28The exhibitionist kid.
02:33Oh.
02:34What's going on?
02:36You know, I can get rid of those rough spots for you.
02:43That's all right.
02:44That's all right.
02:44You got a few dents and dings I can fix.
02:47Sorry I'm late.
02:49Okay.
02:49Thank God you're here, Captain Breakdance.
02:53What is hell?
02:54Huh?
02:55Damn, look at this wallpaper.
03:07It's ugly, isn't it?
03:08I'll take care of it.
03:19What's up?
03:23See you later.
03:23I can't top that.
03:34Bye.
03:35Bye.
03:39All right.
03:42You dropped some cotton.
03:46There you go.
03:47All right.
03:48Well, now my place looks great.
03:51Another crisis averted.
03:52I'm going to go work on this rust.
03:53Hey, that'll be a thousand points for everybody.
04:06And except for Colin only gets 800 because he thought that Wayne couldn't really breakdance.
04:12I think he's just trying to fool him.
04:14And holy cow, look at him go.
04:16Let's play a game now called Weird Newscasters.
04:18This is for all four of you.
04:19Brad, you're going to be the anchorman of a local news show.
04:22Brad, you're the anchor.
04:22Colin, you're the co-anchor.
04:25You think you're in a confessional.
04:30Sportscaster is Wayne.
04:31Wayne, you'll be delivering the sports report from underwater.
04:36And Ryan, you're the weatherman, and you're a lost toddler looking for his mommy.
04:44So, Brad, whenever you hear the music, go ahead and start the news.
04:51Hello, and welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
04:52I'm Harry Hine-Quarters.
04:55In international news, the country of Palakalaka-Waka declared a state of war against the United States after a mutated sheep did something strange at the embassy.
05:06We'll keep you up to date on further developments in this.
05:09And now, with the local report, here's Chester Buttocks.
05:12Forgive me, it's, I haven't had my last confessional since, uh, never.
05:25Uh, I've been, uh, very bad.
05:27I shave...
05:29Animals...
05:33For my own entertainment.
05:37And then I make them do high-stepping Broadway musicals.
05:43Oh, what, what is my penance?
05:46Well, that's from the Too Much Information desk.
05:50And speaking of Hail Mary Pass, let's find out what's going on in sports.
05:53What a day in football.
05:54Please welcome David Derriere.
05:56David?
05:57Thanks a lot.
06:18I just thought of another one.
06:35I have impure thoughts about the Teletubbies.
06:42For some reason, I feel like I need to take a bath.
06:46And now, with the weather, let's find out what's going to happen this weekend.
06:50Please welcome, with the weather, Garrison Tush.
07:01It's going to be cold this weekend.
07:05It's dark and I put me all on.
07:10Are you my mommy?
07:16Are you my mommy?
07:20Are you my mommy?
07:21You don't know.
07:25Come on!
07:35Well, that's all the time we have for the 6 o'clock news.
07:38That's all the time we have for the 6 o'clock news.
07:40Sometimes it's just better to be held.
07:42Good night and thank you.
07:55Are you my mommy?
07:58Buy a nickel for every time I heard that, huh?
08:03Now let's go on to a game called Scenes from a Hat.
08:07Scenes from a Hat.
08:07This is from all four of you.
08:09And what we did before the show is we asked the audience to write down suggestions for
08:11games they'd like to see.
08:12Things they'd like to be acted out by the performers.
08:14And we put them all in this hat here.
08:16Well, we put a lot of them in this hat anyway, not all of them.
08:19I think the best ones.
08:20And you guys are going to have to act out as many as you can.
08:23And let's start with this one.
08:26Playing too hard with the puppy.
08:33Want to take a run at him?
08:37If Carol Channing were president.
08:48I never made love to that woman.
08:51I never had sexual affairs with her.
08:54Who the hell are you?
09:03German pickup lines.
09:06Yeah, can I conquer you?
09:08I have table.
09:20Least likely person to wind up on a stamp.
09:24Right this way, Ms. Lewinsky.
09:25Famous last words.
09:35Right this way, Ms. Lewinsky.
09:42Trust me, you'll blend in in Compton.
09:44Come on.
09:44If dogs could talk.
09:54My wife just doesn't understand you.
10:06Your name is Jeff.
10:07I've got worms where?
10:21Hey, Timmy, old lady Wilson's in the well.
10:30Least popular college courses.
10:32You know which way it is to butt-waxing 101?
10:39I said least popular.
10:44Unlikely Olympic events.
10:46All right, Jim.
10:48This is your last chance at the Viagra Vault.
10:49There's a good one.
10:59People who shouldn't rap.
11:01Oh, boy.
11:07Thank you very much.
11:09Hey, listen, that's it.
11:10We're going to be a good one.
11:11We're going to be a good one.
11:11We're going to be a good one.
11:12We're going to be a good one.
11:12We're going to be a good one.
11:14Don't go anywhere.
11:15Don't go anywhere.
11:19Hey.
11:26Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
11:27The show where everything's made up, but the points don't matter.
11:30If you're keeping track of score at home, I pity you.
11:34I just really do.
11:40Let's go on to a game called Props.
11:41We're going to come back with a game called Props.
11:43What happens?
11:43I'm going to give these guys some props.
11:44They're going to try to think as many things as they can back and forth.
11:46Ryan and Colin.
11:47It's your prop.
11:51And this is your guys' prop right here.
11:55I know.
11:57Okay, whatever you're ready, Ryan and Colin, why don't you start?
12:00Do you think I should lose the tie?
12:05How long you been a gladiator?
12:09You didn't bring the beer?
12:14Bring me the head of Frosty the Snowman.
12:17It's a quiet night.
12:21Hi.
12:21Is that a niceberg?
12:22What?
12:25Hey, Bon, hop in the new car.
12:29It's okay, Fred.
12:35I think you've burnt enough ants today, Gary.
12:38I hope they don't play any more foosball tonight.
12:50Will you come down on the price?
12:58I've got to go clean the giant's ears.
13:00Oh, this halo's killing me.
13:07I'm giving you three hours to leave town.
13:18That was great.
13:29A thousand points to whoever burns those props for us.
13:34Okay, let's go on to a game called Greatest Hits.
13:37This is for Ryan and Colin and Brad and Wayne with the help of Laura Hall on the piano.
13:41Laura Hall.
13:46What's going to happen here is Ryan and Colin are going to be TV voiceover guys,
13:50talk about their latest hit compilation album they're trying to sell you.
13:53And Brad and Wayne are going to try to sing snippets of the songs.
13:56And what we need from the audience is a suggestion for a type of profession you wouldn't normally sing songs about.
14:04Exterminator.
14:05That's a good one.
14:06Okay, let's hear the album is Songs of the Exterminator.
14:12Hi, we'll return you to your movie, Hoedown, The NeverEnding Story in just a moment.
14:17But first, have we got a deal for you.
14:19You know, throughout the ages, there have been songs celebrating the manly or womanly Exterminator.
14:27And we have compiled over 15 CDs with every song imaginable.
14:33Hey, why don't you buy it?
14:34It's not going to kill you.
14:38You know, some of the greatest songs you'll ever hear are on this compilation.
14:44For example, the 40s.
14:46Oh, some of my best prenatal memories go to this wonderful big band instrumental,
14:54Snarky, the mouse with PMS.
14:56Snarky, the mouse with PMS.
15:10Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:31It's Herky the Mouse with P.M.S.
15:33Here's Herky!
15:35Herky the Mouse!
15:37Oh, herky.
15:39Boy, they don't make music like that anymore.
15:53No.
15:54You know, Colin, you're a child of the 80s just like me.
15:58And Lord knows we both come from the wonderful province of Saskatchewan
16:02where our favorite type of movie was 80s rock music.
16:05And none was better than this number one hit.
16:08They're in the walls.
16:09They're in the walls.
16:39They're in the walls.
16:49Thank you, Cleveland.
16:55We have mentioned so many songs here today.
17:07Can they all fit in one CD?
17:08They can if you squeeze them hard and screw up with the sound quality.
17:12Hey, let's not talk about our personal life.
17:17You know, lounge music.
17:19Lounge music is making a big comeback.
17:22And so it should.
17:23Some of my finest memories were of lounges.
17:26And of this particular song, that great lounge song, Rat's Life.
17:32Thanks for coming out tonight.
17:36All right, don't forget to tip your waitresses.
17:38Oh, you see.
17:45Oh, please, baby, please.
17:47I'm just one rat trying to get cheese.
17:51Come on.
17:52Slice that cheese.
17:54Slice that cheese.
17:55With a switchblade knife.
17:57Because, baby, it's a rat's life.
18:16Enjoy the veal.
18:16That was great.
18:23Hey, listen.
18:23We're going to go see a commercial.
18:25We'll come back and find out who the winner is.
18:26And then get to do a little something special with me.
18:28So don't go away for Who's Lines right after this.
18:38And welcome back to Who's Lines?
18:39And tonight's winner, Ryan and Colin.
18:42Ryan and Colin are the winners.
18:43Or are they?
18:49We're going to do a scene called Hands Through.
18:52And this is what happens is Ryan can't use his arms.
18:54And Colin's going to be the arms for him.
18:56And we're going to do a scene.
18:58I saw the setup here.
18:59I don't know what the scene is yet.
18:59What's the scene?
19:01Ryan is a highly strong entertainer at a child's party trying to entertain birthday boy Drew.
19:08Hey, hey, you're stupid.
19:10Hey, I don't care if your dad is a television show or not.
19:13Shut up.
19:15I want to have some fun.
19:16Do something fun.
19:17All right.
19:18I got about 10 minutes left here and I'm off.
19:20Where'd you get?
19:20I see him up your sleeve.
19:21I see him up your sleeve.
19:23You see the gun up my sleeve that I'm going to use on you in about five minutes?
19:26All right.
19:26You want tricks?
19:27I got some tricks for you here.
19:28This is the magic egg.
19:30What is that?
19:31That's what I said.
19:31The magic egg.
19:32What's the magic egg do?
19:33I put the egg in my mouth.
19:34Yeah.
19:35And another one.
19:39Where'd it go?
19:40You like that?
19:45That was funny.
19:47That was funny.
19:48Look, why don't I make you a little balloon animal?
19:49How would you like that?
19:50I love animals.
19:51Quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly.
19:52I don't like red.
19:53There we go.
19:54I can't get her off my head.
19:59It's a finger snake.
20:02Wow, that's really great.
20:03Can I have it?
20:04Of course I can.
20:05Everything here is yours, my little friend.
20:07Thank you very much.
20:08What's these right there?
20:09Here?
20:09Oh, that's just a top hat.
20:11There's nothing in that hat.
20:13There's nothing at all.
20:14It's a rabbit.
20:18Oh, my God.
20:19Now, the hard part is pulling the hat out of a rabbit.
20:23Watch this.
20:27There we go.
20:30That was great.
20:32That was great.
20:34Another magic trick.
20:35I want to see another magic trick.
20:36All righty.
20:37Well, why don't I just get this can of peanuts?
20:39I love peanut butter.
20:40Why don't you open the can of peanut butter?
20:42Okay, sure.
20:49Don't worry.
20:50It happens to me all the time.
20:51You know, we got lots of stuff going on here.
20:55Oh, don't cry, little boy.
20:57Look, why don't we have a little bit of pie?
20:59That'll make you feel better.
21:01Just a little bit of pie, huh?
21:04I don't want any pie.
21:06I don't want any pie.
21:08Well, I certainly don't want any pie.
21:10How do you know unless you try it first?
21:13All right, all right.
21:14Just to make you laugh, I'll do it.
21:17One, two...
21:19What's going on?
21:27What the fuck?
21:29Oh, my God.
21:59Oh, my God.