Peep Show: Dave's Plane Ass Incident

Beasley Digital

Dave was involved in an uncomfortable situation on an airplane over the weekend. He accidentally squirted hand sanitizer on a man's ass that was standing in front of him and wanted to know if he handled the situation correctly.

Transcript

00:00we're gonna start by playing did I do the right thing okay about you what did you yeah okay I'm

00:17gonna be honest and say I didn't oh you didn't I didn't but can I justify it right okay okay okay

00:26would you have I can justify anything I hope so here's it's not great but I mean it could have

00:33been worse okay flying back from Boston yes okay yep um when we booked there was literally we were

00:42in like the back quarter of the plane yeah right there was like no seats left where Amber and I

00:46are all the way at the back you were in the back huh in the back yeah so uh you know I slowly get

00:52up because I know we got tons of time yeah in our bags and you know and then I'm standing and right

00:57where we are like the back quarter there's a bathroom here and um this older guy stands up in

01:02front of me and I thought oh you know what they have a little shelf now with hand sanitizer yeah

01:08right okay I thought okay good yeah I've been on this plane for a while I'm gonna say any yeah I'm

01:12talking to Amber I press it once nothing comes out press it really hard again oh and I'm like what's

01:19happening you guys what was happening was it was screaming the other way shooting out of that

01:24onto the back and ass of the older man in front of me like giant blobs oh my god hand sanitizer

01:32imagine the force that Dave was using least to crush that thing down yeah it's like him opening a

01:39door you know it was fortunately squirting not squirting me on my ass I'm surprised it didn't

01:43go right to the front of the plane oh my god oh my goodness so now what do you so right so now I'm

01:50like oh my god Amber's face is shocked and she hands me like she has like a kleenex in her hand

01:56like you're gonna wipe his ass like I'm gonna wipe this old man's ass in front of me no that's the wrong

02:01move sorry I've got my hand sanitizer on your ass now you're being reported out and then you're on

02:07the news because then you're wiping this guy's ass he wanted me I saw him he was a sexual pervert

02:13he had an erection he was hard as nails and he grabbed my ass a nice grab and he was stroking

02:24how strange is that that I'm arrested for wiping a man's ass and you know what then I looked back

02:29and my pants were covered in I think his semen

02:32yeah that's it you're the pervert of the day at that point yeah we're reporting on Dave

02:40yeah oh so then that all went through my head in a heartbeat yeah that I went I cannot even tell

02:49this man no that I have accidentally hand sanitizer jizzed on his back and ass yeah nothing good is

02:56gonna come out of this no does hand sanitizer not just dissipate yes does it not just develop

03:03alcohol longer than well of course because you blasted a wet spot oh yeah thing to happen to

03:11someone oh my god how unusual is that okay so here's what I did too what please let no one have

03:16noticed me okay I did the quick scan to see if anyone saw that no one else saw it the old man

03:24so that no one else would say hey yeah you did squirted your ass

03:29hey old guy

03:34what he got semen on me

03:40oh you son of a bitch

03:42I saw him come out of the bathroom with his pants down

03:45it was right beside the bathroom

03:47so so I didn't say a word and Amber was like like she's trying I'm like

03:54oh I think you did the right thing you had done the same exact thing I would never yes

04:00it's nothing good no what that's a that's I'm sorry my head if it was on like his ass

04:06how can I say like oh I got some wet stuff on your ass or right what am I gonna say there's nothing

04:11where the area was you what could you say nothing it sounds weird and here's me justifying it

04:18yeah it's not your fault Dave okay the airline needs to have sanitizer that when you put your

04:27hand under it it squirts down into your hand not on an old man yeah it is not shooting on an old man

04:34okay this is what I did you know I was talking to Amber once nothing twice and then oh right

04:40so like yeah unless Dave was just pulled a Dave and he was not where he was supposed to be

04:48with the sanitizer and I don't know either I feel like my hand was in the correct

04:53I feel like I'm not mentally challenged

04:56I would have assumed

04:58I would have assumed now if it would have been on his back maybe you could have said something I

05:02don't it's just the position of it being on his ass yeah once it's on a man's on his back and

05:08ass yeah but I mean you can't I think the first squirt hit his back and the second one just destroyed

05:13his ass listen I believe that when I'm old I'm gonna have wetness all over the place

05:19what I don't know I'm not really sure you're looking forward to it I just assume sometimes my

05:26I'll have some wetness on my pants in the front in the back and uh so and I'll just chalk it up to

05:34life I don't know at least I'm not sure but I just expect I believe that this guy even if he noticed

05:41it he's like ah it happens there it is once again that sneaky wetness you know and uh he might have

05:49just thought he sat in something so he had to walk to the airport and then other people saw his wet

05:55ass but you know like if you saw an elderly man with a wet ass you wouldn't say you'd just be like

06:01that's okay well my my hope was I mean it was wet the whole way off because I was right behind him

06:07but my hope was by the time he eventually gets to his car or his airport shuttle it would have

06:11dried exactly yes it would have dried I agree he'll be none the wiser yep I agree because he

06:16was by himself probably walking real fast get that wind on there what if it what if he walked

06:21too fast he had corduroys corduroys yeah he's old corduroys rub friction Dave lights this man on

06:29fire because it's alcohol oh my god what if he burned and catches fire

06:34help me ridiculous yeah okay did I do the right thing I mean it's not yes I would have done the

06:46same thing you did I wouldn't have said anything I wouldn't say it's the right thing well I mean

06:50what you did what had to be done okay how would you feel if that happened to you would you want

06:55somebody to say hey I just squirted I don't know it would be weird I think it would just be a very

07:02awkward it would be awkward and well how could I what do I have a paper towel I guess like you

07:06could have went in the bathroom is the bathroom right there was right there yeah he could have

07:09probably went in I would be you know what but still like I can never wipe an old man's ass but I

07:16also like can't say the only thing better the only thing better I guess would have been to give

07:22the heads up like oh man this thing is squirting all over the place yeah maybe that could have been

07:30a way you know I think I would just be like uh sir uh you might have sat on something strange

07:36no no I can't blame it you have to be honest about what happened but you definitely could not have

07:42wiped him no I can't you cannot wipe an old man's ass well you can but and I think I guess I would

07:49have understood I would have been like oh that thing malfunctioned and oh you know I'd have been

07:53just like of course you know I was still awkward what it wouldn't stain right oh yeah I don't know

08:00jacket or jeans I don't think it'll stain that's the good news there's alcohol in it but yeah I don't

08:05think what if he catches an uber and he thinks he got it on his ass and the uber and now that uber

08:09driver is going to get a bad review I mean anything's possible but it's out of your hands

08:13well yeah that's how it all started because you couldn't get the hand sanitizer in your hands

08:18yeah no I did have some guilt about it yeah after you know because I normally in a situation like

08:25that of course I'd tell someone but it was just the awkwardness of it yeah yeah you know yeah it's

08:30all because his ass was involved right that's what it is shut it down yeah the second it went on

08:38his ass that old man's ass did shut it down yeah Alan's with us good morning Alan what do you think

08:43hey good morning hey I was thinking he probably had a crazy ride if that hand sanitizer did dry and

08:50he sat down on it that's what I'm thinking too I hope it didn't burn him I'm sure he's gonna burn

08:55his b-hole but first of all he has old man underwear on get some hand sanitizer bend over and let's put

09:00this in your crack and see what happens I think it's pretty powerful stuff it's not something I wanna

09:06I don't wanna mess with it back there yeah but he would have thought ah my hemorrhoids must be

09:10flaring up oh no my anal fissures at it again I'm getting really bad I gotta go to the doctor

09:16when I get home holy cow that's burning it smells weird

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