00:00Is a Ferrari like a sports car?
00:02I like a Ferrari.
00:05Sometimes it can be a bit of a mind fuck.
00:07I remember crying on my 21st birthday.
00:09Creation is supposed to be from a place of total freedom.
00:24I mean, my team is fucking chaotic.
00:27We have very ambitious shoots.
00:29We want to do everything in the world.
00:31And I'm also just like a bulldog on music.
00:34I'm just like, let's get everything done.
00:36I don't need a lunch break.
00:37Like, let's just go.
00:38Everyone's screaming at me, like, whip your hair.
00:40Go.
00:41It's like, it's literally chaotic.
00:42The last set of the day, and it was the tank.
00:45And we were shooting the whole thing on film,
00:46so we only had so much left.
00:47And the director, my creative director, my hairstylist,
00:51everyone would be like, whip your hair.
00:52Dance.
00:53And then eventually, like, I dunked my head underwater
00:55and my whole wig fell off.
00:56And I was like, guys.
00:58This is literally insane.
01:06What I need in the studio, as long as I just have a person
01:10that doesn't make me feel awkward,
01:13then I can write a good song.
01:14If I have people who are open to, like, the worst ideas ever,
01:19I feel like I'll usually spit out good stuff.
01:23But if there's a judgy crowd or energy in the room,
01:25it's, like, literally one of the most dreadful processes
01:29of all time.
01:30I knew I wanted to put Sports Car out
01:32mostly because I felt like it was a big swing for me
01:35as a dancer, and I could really see that song visually.
01:38Whenever a song kind of scares you in the studio,
01:42there's some magic to it.
01:43And I was really terrified of that song for a long time.
01:46We had referenced the Yang Yang Twins, the Whisper song.
01:49And that was a bold move for a pop song.
01:56Julia Michaels, I had worked with her back when I was 16.
02:00I was just very confused about what kind of music
02:03I wanted to make.
02:04And so it was interesting coming this time around,
02:06knowing that I wanted to make a dance song,
02:08knowing what I wanted the sonics to sound like.
02:11And so I was like, this is the beat that we need.
02:13She was like, I might sound crazy,
02:16but I think we should do a whisper chorus.
02:18I was like, Julia, that is insane.
02:21Because I also love a melodic chorus.
02:24That's really freaky.
02:25Also, I'm not a rapper.
02:27It's not just me in an 808 going ham on a chorus.
02:31I am a pop girl.
02:33So I was like, we have to execute this perfectly
02:36for this to work.
02:37I mean, I just feel very lucky to be in the studio
02:41with such legends.
02:43Julia Michaels, Ryan Tedder, I've looked up to them
02:45for so long.
02:46And every day, I get to work.
02:48I am just gaining more knowledge on music
02:51and things that I never knew.
02:52It's so interesting walking into a room
02:54with my perspective and then taking their perspective
02:57and putting it together.
02:58I think it's a really special thing.
03:00Ryan gives me advice every day.
03:01He has advice on everything in life.
03:04He's just like a man full of facts.
03:06When I started writing music when I was like 13, 14,
03:09I didn't even know what the structure of a song was.
03:12And I had self-taught pianos.
03:14I wasn't really aware of what I was doing.
03:16I was just doing it.
03:17And it's been interesting to see why
03:20a chorus feels euphoric.
03:22Or if it gives you that serotonin boost,
03:24it's usually because the notes before it aren't touching it.
03:27Or if the message of the song right before
03:29sets it up perfectly.
03:30There's human instincts that connect with music
03:33that's so interesting you would never think about.
03:35But it's been interesting to learn.
03:42I really wanted to find the contrast
03:45between a very sexy top line and a sexy melody
03:48and a really heartbreaking story.
03:50I worked with Emile Haney on the production on this
03:53who is just a god.
03:54He's one of my favorite producers of all time.
03:57And Amy Allen.
03:58I think I was honestly just feeling a little sensitive
04:02as a girl at this time.
04:04It's not a normal thing to be perceived by that many people
04:08when you're releasing music,
04:09when you're putting yourself out there.
04:11Sometimes it can be a bit of a mind fuck.
04:13And so honestly the song was about
04:14my relationship with me in the media.
04:16Feeling like a woman for the first time.
04:18Feeling sexualized for the first time.
04:20And feeling like people weren't receiving my work
04:24how I wanted it to be received.
04:31I feel like it's once my story
04:33and then as soon as I give it out to the world
04:35you have to learn to detach from it.
04:37Let people put it into their own lives.
04:39Otherwise it can be a really terrifying thing.
04:41Feeling like you're airing out your whole life
04:43for the world to see.
04:47I just had this reoccurring theme
04:50that was going on in my life.
04:51Thinking the same thoughts,
04:52making the same choices,
04:53going back to the same people.
04:55My life just kind of felt like
04:56this never-ending revolving door.
04:58And a lot of the imagery for this album
05:00was like a never-ending road,
05:01a never-ending door.
05:02Because I felt like I was sometimes
05:04just going towards something
05:05where I could never see a finish line.
05:07It was a really fun song to play with
05:09because I realized it was not only about a relationship
05:11but it was also about me
05:12and my inability to let go of that.
05:14But it was also about me
05:15and my inability to make decisions
05:17and me chasing this career that I was like
05:19oh my god, what do I want out of this?
05:21And so you can kind of see in the bridge of the song
05:23it goes from a relationship song
05:25to a fully introspective song
05:27about my personality
05:29and how I literally just can't make my mind up.
05:31Well, I'm a cancer, so...
05:45I have a song called Nostalgia on the record
05:47and it closes out the album.
05:48It honestly stemmed from a conversation
05:50I had with my dad
05:51and I think I was in Barcelona with him.
05:53My mom and dad had flown out on tour to see me
05:55and I was doing all these rapid-fire questions with them.
05:58I'm like, what's your biggest regret?
05:59What do you wish you did in your life?
06:01All my deep, annoying questions.
06:02And I remember asking my dad,
06:04do you regret anything in your life?
06:06And he was just like, well,
06:07I wish I would have been an architect in my life.
06:09And I was like, that's so crazy
06:11that someone could go their whole life
06:13wishing to do something and not do it.
06:15And we had this whole long conversation
06:17about how that's the reason why he raised me
06:20how he raised me,
06:21was to be like, you can't miss out on things in life.
06:23You gotta do what you're passionate about
06:25and do what feels authentic.
06:26Otherwise, you feel like life kind of passes you by sometimes.
06:35I think in this career, in this lifestyle,
06:37it can feel like you're sometimes working
06:39towards nothing and everything.
06:42Constantly going and going and going
06:44and trying to find a reason.
06:45The reason is the moments you make in the meantime
06:49and the process of it all.
06:50You realize that you never, ever hit that point.
06:53It just always keeps going up.
06:55Touches on how I felt about turning 21
06:58and the feeling of being heartbroken
07:00and falling in love again, dealing with relationships.
07:03As a 21-year-old, you're also freshly an adult,
07:06but also you're still young.
07:09In your head, you feel like
07:11you're the oldest person on earth.
07:13That's how I've felt a lot.
07:14I was like, oh my God,
07:15I should have everything figured out by this age.
07:17This is my time.
07:19You also feel like you're one years old too
07:21because you're like, holy shit,
07:22I just started living a life alone.
07:24I remember crying on my 21st birthday.
07:26Mostly because I feel like as a young girl,
07:28you picture 21 as the year where you would watch your idols.
07:33You're like, oh, they're 21 and they're prime
07:35and they're doing their thing
07:36and they've got it all figured out.
07:37I got to 21 and I was like, oh, this feels a little
07:40this feels a little different than I thought it would.
07:46I'm really excited for this tour.
07:48Obviously, I feel like I'm just hitting the surface
07:51of what I want to do dance-wise and performance-wise.
07:54And I think there's some really deep and dark messages
07:58behind a lot of my songs that I want to crack a little.
08:01That sounded weird.
08:03That I want to open up a little further
08:06and really work with my choreographers
08:07and my creative directors
08:08and try to figure out a message for everything
08:11and make it feel like a whole story.
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