00:00I am Alexis and I've chosen to be celibate for seven years now.
00:03I have received a lot of backlash, mainly from males.
00:08I cannot see one single reason why this would be of interest to anybody.
00:12Another attention seeker.
00:14She has no idea what she's missing out on.
00:16She better not let me catch her in public.
00:19I'm Alexis' father.
00:20In the back of my mind, I just knew you were gonna be like me.
00:24Seeking out partners.
00:25Just felt like you'd be missing out on a big part of life.
00:29By being celibate, are you afraid that it'll keep guys away from you?
00:34I am Alexis.
00:35I was fed up with dating, so I decided to become celibate.
00:39I have currently been celibate for about seven years now.
00:42I decided to become celibate due to spiritual development.
00:46Tired of the dating apps and just decided to focus solely on my spiritual growth.
00:52I started making TikTok content about three months ago about my celibacy journey.
00:57Since I publicly came out based on my decision to become celibate,
01:01I have received a lot of backlash, mainly from males.
01:06A lot of hate comments.
01:08The worst thing I have received is a sexual assault threat online.
01:12And this is from males twice my seniors.
01:16It's disgusting.
01:18Some of the comments I have received since sharing my celibacy story are,
01:22who asked?
01:23Also, who would want to be with a person who's willing to do that?
01:27The sheer stubbornness and determination it would take to be
01:30in a relationship with a person would be a nightmare.
01:33I cannot see one single reason why this would be of interest to anybody.
01:38Another attention seeker.
01:39She has no idea what she's missing out on.
01:42She better not let me catch her in public.
01:44Sometimes it does take me back a bit.
01:46But other times I find myself calling my friends or family just to bring me back to reality.
01:52To remind me that those people don't know me.
01:55In the beginning, since becoming celibate, it was a bit challenging due to my decision,
02:00which was pretty much different than my peers around me at the time.
02:04However, because I have a solid support system,
02:07they tend to help make the process a bit easier.
02:10At this current time, I do not miss intimacy.
02:13However, that is due to my diagnosis with endometriosis.
02:18A lot of the symptoms that comes from endometriosis impacts my day-to-day life.
02:24It has impacted my day-to-day life in the past where
02:28hurts, intimacy hurts physically.
02:31With celibacy, it is easier for me to solely focus on myself
02:35rather than become intimate with someone
02:38and introduce them to something that they're not necessarily comfortable with.
02:43I actually plan on being celibate until I find the right person.
02:47However, if I don't find the right person, the rest of my life.
02:52Today, my dad is coming over to discuss my decision on becoming celibate.
02:56However, I am very nervous about this.
02:58When I revealed to my dad that I decided to become celibate,
03:02he was floored.
03:03He was stunned.
03:05The young lady I was in my 20s is the complete opposite of who I am now in my 30s.
03:11I'm Alexa's father.
03:12What did you think when she first told you that she was becoming celibate?
03:16At first, it threw me off because I knew how I lived my life.
03:20My biggest reservation was the outside world.
03:23I know how people are.
03:24They always have something negative to say.
03:26So, how did you feel about me sharing that I was celibate with you?
03:31Well, at first, it threw me for a loop because I don't know why in the back of my mind,
03:37I just knew you were going to be like me, seeking out partners.
03:42Yeah.
03:43What were your initial concerns and reservations?
03:46My initial concerns were it just felt like you'd be missing out on a big part of life.
03:52Yeah.
03:53And I had to realize you're not me and you have your own mind.
03:57Yeah.
03:58The concerns is I just know how people are by judging.
04:04They'll judge you on every little thing.
04:06Since becoming celibate, the guys you dated, how have they acted?
04:11Once it hit social media, I had a few reach out to me,
04:15just really inspired by it.
04:17However, trying to pursue a future with me, nonexistent.
04:22Since becoming celibate, I still do date.
04:25However, I'm not in a committed relationship.
04:27I share on the first date with guys that I am celibate.
04:31How?
04:32It's just a in-person conversation.
04:34So, it's never been through text or through social media.
04:38Normally, when I share that I am celibate on the first date,
04:41guys are floored.
04:42They cannot believe it.
04:44After revealing that I am celibate,
04:46guys do share that they no longer want to pursue anything.
04:50When I have shared with my peers my decision on being celibate,
04:54a lot of them at first were stunned.
04:58The pushback is often my future relationships.
05:04Do you want to get married?
05:05Do you want to have kids?
05:08How that would impact my dating life.
05:09But again, like I share with anyone,
05:12I'm just more of a day-to-day person.
05:14So, if it comes, it comes.
05:16If it doesn't, I'll still be okay.
05:18By being celibate, are you afraid that it keep guys away from you?
05:23Not really.
05:23I feel like it really is a superpower.
05:25It kind of weeds them out from those that actually see potential
05:29versus those that are just looking for a quick hookup.
05:32Is it pretty hard to stay celibate during these trying times?
05:36In the beginning, it was a bit challenging.
05:38But over time and self-discipline, not anymore.
05:42Do you feel like you're missing out on anything by being celibate?
05:46Not at all.
05:47My 20s, I experienced a lot.
05:49So, no, I feel like I'm right on time, if anything.
05:53Okay.
05:54Glad you passed the 20s there.
05:56Do you think that you could ever be celibate?
05:58No, no, no.
06:00I'm in my 50s.
06:04Started young.
06:05I enjoy all my little moments in life.
06:08I enjoy the company of a woman too much.
06:10Oh, how would you feel if my brother decided to be celibate?
06:16Just like you.
06:17Whatever y'all want.
06:18You, your brother's sister, I'm behind you 100%.
06:21Like you said, it's a personal thing.
06:23Right.
06:24If that's what he wants, I'm behind him.
06:27Do you have a date or future plans on bringing your celibacy?
06:33When I bring you a son-in-law, hopefully.
06:36But other than that, if I don't meet the one, then no.
06:39I just plan on carrying this out for a lifetime.
06:42You got it.
06:42You got it.
06:44What do you think about my celibacy now?
06:46Since you've given me the reasons, I'm all for it.
06:50This is a personal journey.
06:52And I'm happy that you're learning to love yourself and getting to know yourself.
06:56So I understand now the reason.
06:58You set your mind to do something, you follow through.
07:01So I'm happy.
07:03I'm glad you're out the 20s.
07:04Yeah.
07:05He was running a little wild, but I'm so happy he slowed down.
07:11So I'm getting ready to go out, hang out with the girls at the local bar,
07:14and hopefully I get to meet some fellas.
07:16I never feel nervous to tell guys that I'm celibate,
07:19just because I just rather for them to know ahead of time than later down the line.
07:25Being celibate definitely works for me and my lifestyle.
07:29Just with me becoming celibate, I think has enhanced my day-to-day life.
07:35To people that judge my decision on becoming celibate that do not know me in reality,
07:40I really feel they need a life check.
07:42To say the least, they need a life check because my decision shouldn't impact
07:46your day-to-day movement in your life.
07:58you
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