00:00Hey friends, welcome.
00:03Imagine for a moment that your life is filled with less conflict, more clarity, and deeper
00:08connections.
00:10Picture waking up each day feeling more empowered, with a stronger sense of peace and purpose.
00:17This kind of life isn't just possible, it's achievable by adopting a set of principles
00:23known as the Four Agreements.
00:26These were developed by Dawton Miguel Ruiz, and these principles are based on ancient
00:32Toltec wisdom, and have gained popularity because they offer a practical guide to personal
00:38freedom and transformation.
00:42Let's explore each of these agreements, backed by insights from psychology and neuroscience,
00:48so that we can understand why they work, and how to apply them effectively.
00:57Be impeccable with your word.
01:01Use your words consciously, speaking with integrity and avoiding harmful or untruthful
01:06language.
01:08The words we use have a direct impact not only on our brains, but the brains of others.
01:16Research in neuroscience shows that the words we use shape our reality.
01:22Positive words activate the brain's motivational centers, promoting constructive behavior,
01:28while negative words trigger the amygdala, the brain's fear center, leading to stress
01:34and anxiety.
01:37Psychologists also highlight the self-fulfilling prophecy.
01:40When you repeatedly say or think something, your behavior often aligns with those words,
01:47making them come true.
01:49So start by practicing self-awareness in your speech.
01:54Notice when you use self-defeating or negative language, and intentionally replace it with
02:01positive affirmations or constructive words.
02:05For example, instead of saying, I can't, say, I'll try.
02:12Speak kindly not only to others, but also in your self-talk, as studies show that positive
02:18self-talk can reduce anxiety and improve performance.
02:25Don't take anything personally.
02:28Realize that what others say or do is a reflection of their own reality, beliefs, and emotional
02:34state, not yours.
02:37According to cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive distortions like personalization
02:44often cause unnecessary emotional pain.
02:48The human brain tends to make everything about itself, an evolutionary trait that once helped
02:54early humans survive, but now often leads to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
03:02Scientists also explain this through the default mode network of the brain, which
03:07activates when we reflect on ourselves, making us prone to interpreting others' actions
03:14as personal attacks.
03:18Now when someone criticizes you, pause and ask yourself, is this really about me, or
03:24is it about their perception?
03:27Having an internal locus of control can also help you not react impulsively to others'
03:33opinions.
03:35By focusing on controlling your response rather than others' words, you create mental resilience
03:42and emotional freedom.
03:45Mindfulness practices like meditation can help you create this space between stimulus
03:51and response, allowing you to navigate situations more peacefully.
03:58Don't make assumptions.
04:01Avoid jumping to conclusions without sufficient information, communicate openly, and ask questions
04:08to clarify understanding.
04:11You know, the human brain tends to fill in gaps with assumptions because of its tendency
04:17to create cognitive shortcuts to make sense of the world.
04:22While useful for quick decision making, this habit often leads to misunderstandings.
04:29Research in interpersonal communication emphasizes that many conflicts arise from assumptions
04:36rather than actual disagreements.
04:40Open communication activates the prefrontal cortex, the brain's rational center, while
04:46assumptions tend to activate more emotional responses, leading to stress and conflict.
04:54So practice active listening in conversations, where you focus entirely on the speaker's
05:01words and ask clarifying questions when something is unclear.
05:06For example, instead of assuming your partner is angry with you, ask, are you upset about
05:13something I did?
05:15This approach not only prevents conflict, but also strengthens relationships as it fosters
05:21trust and understanding.
05:25Always do your best.
05:27Your best will vary from day to day, depending on circumstances, but consistently striving
05:34to do your best builds self-respect and integrity.
05:40Scientists agree that when you give your best, you engage in intrinsic motivation,
05:45which is linked to higher levels of satisfaction and reduced stress.
05:51The growth mindset theory developed by Dr. Carol Dweck shows that focusing on effort
05:57over outcomes fosters resilience and continuous improvement.
06:03Moreover, neuroscientific studies on neuroplasticity suggest that regularly engaging in new
06:10challenges helps your brain develop stronger neural connections, making you more adaptable
06:17and capable.
06:19So instead of comparing yourself to others or focusing solely on results, ask yourself,
06:26am I giving my best today?
06:29This mindset fosters self-compassion and reduces feelings of guilt or inadequacy.
06:36Whether at work, in relationships, or personal growth, celebrate your efforts rather than
06:43fixating on outcomes.
06:45Over time, this practice not only builds confidence, but also rewires your brain to seek progress
06:52over perfection.
06:56The Four Agreements are powerful tools for personal transformation because they are grounded
07:02in both ancient wisdom and modern psychology.
07:06They may be simple to understand, but applying them requires practice and persistence.
07:13Yet, the rewards are immense, greater peace, deeper relationships, and an authentic sense
07:21of freedom.
07:22So here's something to think about.
07:25What would your life look like if you consistently honored these agreements?
07:32It's worth the effort because living by these principles not only transforms how you relate
07:38to others, but more importantly, how you relate to yourself.
07:44Start small, stay committed, and watch as these agreements reshape your reality for
07:50the better.
07:52And if anybody can do it, you can.
07:56I'll be back tomorrow, friends, with more great stuff.
07:58Let's keep working together.
07:59I thank you so much for joining me today.
08:02I always love time.
08:04Look forward to the time we spend together every day.
08:08Take care.
08:09I'll see you then.
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