00:00This is Terrence. He fell in love with Nikki.
00:06We're in a mixed-race relationship.
00:08Since getting together, the couple have been judged both online and offline.
00:13People do judge me based on my size.
00:16They will tell me that no one is going to really like me.
00:20I've heard people say stuff like,
00:22is she going to eat that? Are you going to eat that? That's a lot of food.
00:25People have made assumptions that Terrence has ulterior motives in the relationship.
00:30This is not my very first mixed-weight relationship.
00:34It's actually my third.
00:36This one says, that's the best he can get.
00:39Perfect for a desperate man. That's crazy.
00:43You want coffee or tea? Let's do coffee.
00:45Yeah, let's do coffee.
00:46The salted caramel is good.
00:48I'll try the salted caramel. I love caramel.
00:50We've met through our best friends, so our best friends are dating each other.
00:54They kind of play matchmaker.
00:57My friend, she messaged me one day.
00:59She was like, her boyfriend has a friend.
01:01He's single.
01:03He wants to know if you would be interested.
01:06At first, I was like, I don't know about the friend of a friend.
01:10She thought me to be the ugly friend, as it were.
01:15I decided to move forward with it when I saw the picture.
01:18It took a long time to text me.
01:20Not that long.
01:22Five hours.
01:23Not five hours, 45 minutes.
01:25We've been together for seven months.
01:28Our first official date, we went to Red Apple Barn.
01:32It's like an apple orchard in a pumpkin patch.
01:36It was really fun, except I had the bright idea to wear heels,
01:39not realizing that we were going to be outside.
01:41I thought she was beautiful.
01:43Very beautiful.
01:44We pretty much hit it off.
01:46We talked for about six hours.
01:50I like how we feed off each other's energy.
01:52I like how we have fun together.
01:58I've always loved nerdy guys.
02:01I call him the king nerd.
02:03This is not my first mixed relationship.
02:05I've always dated smaller guys.
02:07A lot of times, as a plus-size girl, you can't really tell if they actually like you
02:12or if they're fetishizing you.
02:14If I feel like you don't actually like me, you just like what I look like,
02:19that would definitely keep me from dating.
02:22My size has held me back from doing certain things in life,
02:25like amusement parks, rides, fair rides.
02:29Generally, I do think society is fatphobic, definitely.
02:32All right.
02:33I'm trying to help you with the outfits, baby.
02:36Yeah, I have way too many clothes.
02:38You're a fashion influencer.
02:40I started in 2018.
02:44I just used to film things that I bought.
02:48It started taking off around 2019, 2020-ish.
02:53I started just as a confidence booster for myself,
02:56but people just started liking it, and I just kept going
03:00because I realized I was helping other people.
03:02I have a really big plus-size following.
03:04They tell me that I give them the confidence and the encouragement
03:09to be themselves and to just love theirself.
03:12I love seeing her in sundresses, maxi dresses.
03:16I really love the fact that she's very, I know this sounds silly, girly,
03:21so she really loves fashion.
03:23Oh, yes!
03:25Too often in society, we have this ideal sense of how a person is or should be,
03:32how everyone fits the mold.
03:34Whoever you love, it's not always about size.
03:38It's about what kind of character they have.
03:40I am attracted to plus-size women.
03:42That's part of the reason I love Nikki,
03:46but the main reason is her character more than anything.
03:50It makes a good team.
03:52Yeah, I would think so.
03:54Like peanut butter and jelly.
03:56Nutella.
03:57Oh.
03:58Oops, sorry.
04:00You're so shy.
04:02Peanuts, what's up?
04:03People are very, very cruel,
04:05especially seeing on comments on Instagram that being a boyfriend is very,
04:11it's hard seeing that.
04:13Now you're way too big.
04:15You need to lose weight.
04:17This one says, that's the best you can get.
04:20Perfect for a desperate man.
04:22That's crazy.
04:24I'm a nerd, so I'm used to being picked on by people,
04:27and people have said mean things to me since kindergarten or whatnot,
04:31so I'm kind of used to people talking about me behind my back.
04:35I remember one comment,
04:38he's with her because she pays off bills,
04:41or another one called me a bum or whatnot.
04:45At first I was engaging in the comments.
04:48Have some freaking decorum.
04:50Act like you're not a trans person,
04:52even if you are, just like pretend that you're not.
04:54I don't mind what you say about me because I'm used to it,
04:57but you talk about my baby, we got a problem.
04:59So at first I was kind of like going off on him,
05:03but then I just was like, that kind of makes them comment more.
05:08So I just decided to ignore him.
05:10I'm not going to lie, sometimes the comments do get to me.
05:12He's there to kind of...
05:15Mitigate it.
05:16Yeah, and just help calm me down,
05:19and just help to reinforce that you do love yourself,
05:23you don't have to listen to them.
05:25Hey babe, you ready to head out for a date?
05:28Yeah, we can get ready.
05:30Man, I'm starving.
05:32Today we're going to go out on a little date,
05:35relax and just enjoy this beautiful weather out here.
05:38We love going out to eat and try new restaurants.
05:42Here you go, my lady.
05:47People, they stare at us when we're out.
05:49Yeah, they just kind of tend to just be like,
05:52well, what are they doing together?
05:55If we're out holding hands, being affectionate,
05:58people be looking like I don't deserve to have someone with me.
06:03I think I'm just hyper aware of it
06:05because I'm used to people staring at me anyway.
06:07I feel like they're just trying to see how much I'm going to eat
06:10or what I'm going to eat.
06:12I think that restaurants are where people stare the most
06:16because there's food involved and obviously I eat a lot.
06:19I just think it's crazy how people just stare
06:23and look at you just for existing.
06:25I've heard people say stuff like,
06:27is she going to eat that? Are you going to eat that?
06:30That's a lot. That's a lot of food.
06:32Passive aggressive, yeah.
06:33They'll say stuff like, oh, I know you're going to have dessert.
06:36Like, no, I don't want dessert.
06:38I was bullied. I was bullied a lot.
06:40As early as kindergarten, I can remember that
06:44because I've always been a heavier girl.
06:46And just being one of the biggest people in my class,
06:49nobody really wanted to play with me.
06:51The bullying continued all the way to freshman year of college.
06:54The guys didn't want to date me because they were embarrassed
06:59and they felt they would get talked about.
07:02And it was around, I want to say like sophomore year-ish,
07:07I just decided that I was going to just love myself how I was
07:13because being bullied, it takes a lot on your mental.
07:17And I just didn't want to just be unhappy like that anymore.
07:21I'll try to make them feel uncomfortable
07:23because if someone's staring at you,
07:25and you just be like, hi, they'll either look away
07:28or they'll wave back and then don't look at you again.
07:31I think Nikki is beautiful no matter what size she is.
07:34Our relationship works because we communicate a lot.
07:38Even though we may be different in terms of our interests,
07:41we still find things in common.
07:44Just focus on yourself, focus on your partner,
07:47and don't worry about those outside factors
07:50because the only people that matter in your relationship
07:53is you and your partner or partners or whoever you're dating.
07:57Definitely focus on making yourself better
08:01instead of spending so much energy
08:03worried about how someone else lives their life.
08:06You still have to love yourself regardless of what size you are,
08:09even if it may not be your ideal size at the time,
08:12you still have to love yourself.
08:14Our relationship proves that love is more than just about how you look.
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