00:00Hello everyone and welcome to 10 Reasons Why.
00:03You know every week I say,
00:05Hello everyone and welcome to 10 Reasons Why.
00:08I don't know why I don't do something different.
00:10Let's try this.
00:11Hello everyone and welcome to
00:1310
00:14Reasons
00:15Why.
00:16Better?
00:17This is the first show I have done since I got back from LA
00:20and I can tell you, it does not feel that great to be back.
00:23I know people think I'm mad when I say this
00:25but I do sometimes think it's really not worth going away
00:29because it really does make it 10 times frickin' worse to come back.
00:33So this week I am going to be hopefully entertaining you
00:36for about 5 to 10 minutes
00:38on why you might be a single man.
00:40Oh hey, how was your...
00:42Oh, Dave, are you in a dress?
00:44Yes, yes I am, yeah.
00:46Well, now we know why Dave is single
00:48how about we look at the rest of you.
00:50One.
00:52You're polite, you're kind, you're generous.
00:54You're the type of guy that all women want, right?
00:58Wrong.
00:59Maybe you're too much of a nice guy
01:01and women just end up walking all over you.
01:03You alright?
01:04Yep.
01:06Now I actually don't agree with that one.
01:08I actually like nice guys.
01:10I don't really understand why women want to go out with dicks.
01:13Two.
01:14Maybe you're too much of a lad.
01:16Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui.
01:18What are you doing?
01:19Lad, lad, lad, lad.
01:20What?
01:21Oui, oui, oui, oui, I'm a lad.
01:23I've got a big penis.
01:24You're a twat.
01:26What does oui mean, by the way, when people do that?
01:28Three.
01:30I mean, obviously, I had to put this one into the mix
01:32because it's just way too obvious to not put in.
01:35Maybe you're a commitment phobe.
01:37Oh, you know, my parents might want to meet you.
01:42Babies.
01:44Yeah, I don't think Dave wants my babies.
01:46Do you?
01:47And if you're a woman who said yes to that
01:50we can adopt.
01:51Four.
01:52Now women, well, maybe not all women actually
01:56but I mean, I like men who have drive and ambition.
01:58You don't have to be hugely rich or even hugely successful
02:01just to have, you know, the drive
02:03and the get up and go attitude.
02:05And if you don't, this might be why you're single.
02:08Hey.
02:09Alright?
02:10How was your day?
02:11Such, oh my god, it's such a long day in the office
02:13I feel knackered.
02:14How was your day?
02:15It's been a rough one.
02:16I planned four wanks before lunchtime
02:19but only rattled off two.
02:21And then, uh, Domino's was late, again.
02:25And, uh, I was going for number three this afternoon
02:27and fell asleep mid-wank.
02:29Countdown's on.
02:30Five.
02:31Maybe you're doing too much of this.
02:33Dave, I'm just popping out to the, uh, the shop
02:35do you want me to get?
02:36Oh my fucking god, what are you doing?
02:39Research.
02:40Just so you know, doing that sketch with Dave
02:43really made me feel like we were crossing
02:45quite a lot of friendship boundaries.
02:48Mainly because I did actually go onto RedTube
02:50and look up real porn
02:51and I think I chose the worst one
02:54because I literally wanted to pull out
02:56both my eyes
02:57so I couldn't watch it anymore.
02:59Six.
03:00I mean, women do like men
03:01that, you know, they think are keen
03:03but, um, not too keen.
03:06Why are you calling me?
03:09Oh my god, he's calling me.
03:10Again.
03:11Ugh.
03:12Answering.
03:13You've got to be fucking kidding me.
03:17Oh my god.
03:18This is going to be fucking horrendous.
03:20Hello?
03:21Hi, it's Dave.
03:22I met you about 30 seconds ago.
03:24Yeah, hi.
03:26I was just wondering if you wanted to do something
03:28literally any day next week.
03:30Monday through to Sunday
03:31I've got absolutely no plans whatsoever.
03:34I mean, I can do any week.
03:36Literally, I don't have any plans.
03:38Oh, oh, cool.
03:39Um, right.
03:40Well, I will just give you a little call back.
03:43Fuck.
03:44Seven?
03:45Maybe you're boring.
03:46I mean, you're probably not.
03:48But maybe you are?
03:50They used to, like, that'll change.
03:53I am one of the only people who has completed
03:56the HMS Belfast.
03:58Belfast, obviously revisited in 1970
04:01as I've told you before.
04:03Eight!
04:04Maybe you're a pervert.
04:05Hi.
04:06Oh, hey, good to see you again.
04:08How's it going?
04:09Yeah, good.
04:10Take a seat.
04:11Good, thank you.
04:12I got some wine.
04:13Yeah, so you brought the girls again?
04:14Oh, that was somewhat inappropriate
04:16for the first date.
04:17Oh, I always do that.
04:18I'm going to go.
04:19Nine.
04:20Maybe you're shallow.
04:21Hey, you ready to go?
04:22You know what?
04:23If you took as much time on looking good
04:26as I do, you might look good.
04:28If you're looking for that perfect woman
04:30who has no flaws,
04:31you're going to be waiting a long time.
04:37And ten.
04:38And finally, maybe you're just too shy.
04:40You know, nothing's going to happen
04:41if you don't grab the bull by its horns.
04:44It's not attractive
04:45when men are really shy around women
04:47or when they piss their pants.
04:51Hi.
04:52Nice to meet you.
04:53You look...
04:54You're sexy.
04:55I'm Emily.
04:56I'm Dave.
04:57You alright?
04:58Sorry, have you pissed yourself?
05:01No, no, no.
05:03Cool.
05:04Yeah, cool.
05:07Top comments.
05:09Or comments?
05:10One.
05:11How the hell are you single all the time?
05:13You've got to be amazingly picky.
05:15I am.
05:16I am.
05:17Can't tell you how irritating it is.
05:20But you know what?
05:21I just don't want to settle.
05:22So I guess it just takes people longer
05:25who don't want to settle.
05:27Two.
05:28I would watch you in a porno.
05:30Okay, so it's time to admit it.
05:32I did once star in a porn movie
05:36called Big Tits, Big Dicks.
05:39You can search for it.
05:40I'm sorry.
05:42Three.
05:43Top comments.
05:44You've got blonde highlights in your hair.
05:46So pretty.
05:47Thank you.
05:48Because genuinely,
05:49my hair really stresses me out.
05:51You know when tiny insignificant things in life
05:53do not fucking matter?
05:55But they really stress you out?
05:56I feel the same way about my hair
05:58like I do about buying a card.
06:00I am literally in card shops
06:01for a way longer
06:03than normal amount of time to be in them.
06:05Because I just want to find that perfect card.
06:07I don't know why I've been talking about cards
06:09for the past minute.
06:10Because I actually wanted to talk about my hair.
06:12So I've decided to dedicate
06:14quite a large chunk of this show
06:16to the outtakes.
06:17Because there was absolutely shitloads.
06:19Mainly because I think there were things
06:21that Dave said
06:22that he didn't know I was recording.
06:24How are you feeling in a dress?
06:26No answer.
06:28Literally.
06:29What shall we watch on TV?
06:31Dave Station.
06:33Siri, when we spoke about this scene
06:36is that what I told you to say?
06:38No.
06:39We know you're wearing a monkey t-shirt.
06:42You need to constantly tell us.
06:43We can see.
06:44This bit I've practised before.
06:45This bit is just you.
06:47Dave, is this not the best job in the world?
06:51So Dave is just about to touch my breasts
06:53for the first time.
06:55How are you feeling?
06:57Oh my god.
06:58It feels great.
06:59Well, it's the first time I've touched my boobs
07:01in a long time
07:02so I'm going to enjoy it.
07:03Do you know what's ironic?
07:04This is actually what you do
07:05I think before you go out.
07:06I did not straighten my hair.
07:07It didn't look like I straightened my hair.
07:09Look who came to the party!
07:12Okay, so we are done for this week.
07:19I've done the same as I do at the beginning.
07:21I say the same thing every time at the end.
07:23I say, okay, so we're done for this week.
07:26I literally don't know how else to say it.
07:28I'd love you guys to follow me on Twitter
07:30at Emily Hartridge
07:31and join my Facebook group 10 Reasons Why.
07:33That would also be really nice.
07:35Also, I hope you guys have checked out
07:37my new movie show called 2 Girls 1 Movie.
07:39I do 10 Reasons Why videos every Monday
07:41and I do the movie shows every Friday
07:44with my friend Paula.
07:46I realise I'm literally going to be in
07:48my bedroom filming by myself
07:50talking to a camera
07:52for a very long time.
07:54Fuck it. Bye!
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