Sage Todz - Modern relationships & men finding it hard to talk to each other - video Dailymotion

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00:00 Why did you want to have a chat with us about the sound campaign?

00:02 You can reduce stigma by like, you know, there's trends of saying

00:07 let's normalise this or normalise that.

00:09 I think a better way than just telling people to normalise something

00:12 is just being normal about it and just speaking about yourself.

00:16 That's why I try to just emphasise having good people around you.

00:19 Thanks for having a chat Sage.

00:28 Let's talk about you growing up then.

00:30 Gwynedd, what was that like for you? Paint a picture for us.

00:33 Beautiful scenery, freezing, a lot of rain.

00:36 But yeah, interesting. A bit of a culture shock for me.

00:39 I was born in Essex. I was there till I was seven.

00:42 So I'm moving somewhere where the language is completely different.

00:45 The culture is completely different. Yeah, it was a lot.

00:49 You adjust to it. You assimilate somewhat in terms of

00:52 I learnt the language and learnt what being from Wales means, etc.

00:57 You got Ayrtoda and Sage Todd's as well.

01:00 Is there a difference between the two?

01:04 Not really. It's mostly for practical reasons of people being able to say it easily, quickly, etc.

01:10 They're both me. Just one is a more potentially

01:15 exaggerated version of my thoughts and feelings.

01:19 Like when I'm just chatting with you now, I'm not going to tell you

01:24 everything I feel to its deepest extent, you know.

01:27 Anytime I have a conversation with someone, but through the music,

01:31 you're going to hear a more raw version of me.

01:33 Obviously, music is such a big part of your life, but

01:42 how much did it have an influence in shaping who you are?

01:47 I'd say it's the other way around. It's more so my life shaping the music

01:50 than music shaping me. I think it's just a positive outlet

01:53 for negativity, a way for me to get some sort of catharsis from life

01:57 and my experiences and putting it into the music.

02:00 And you perform as a job. What's that like for you? How do you manage that?

02:05 It's a switch I have to flick.

02:07 Is it?

02:07 Like in my daily life, you were speaking to me outside.

02:10 I wasn't necessarily shy, but I'm more, I'm just chill, you know, most of the time.

02:15 But when I'm about to jump on stage, it's more so you flick the switch and then I'm Sage

02:20 and I'm here to perform right now. And then once that's done, I'm chilling again.

02:24 And it was definitely something I actively had to overcome.

02:27 I remember even when Round Around started to go a bit viral online,

02:32 I had only performed once live at that point, and it went terribly.

02:38 I almost cried. That was like a year or two before that.

02:41 So after that, I was like, OK, do I want to do this music thing?

02:45 I have to perform if I'm going to do music.

02:47 So I found a random open mic in Finsley in London and I was just like, OK, loads of old

02:54 drunk people there. And then for me, that was like, OK, I can do this now.

02:58 Yeah.

02:58 I just went there with my laptop, did a few songs. I was like, OK, I'm ready.

03:01 In this campaign, we talk a lot about the notion of masculinity.

03:06 What does Welsh masculinity mean to you, Sage Tards? What do you reckon?

03:10 That is, yeah, that is a very interesting one.

03:12 What does it look like? My day to day is just a grind right now, I'll be honest.

03:17 I'm sure a lot of young men will say that.

03:18 For me, it'll be looking after the people that matter to me,

03:22 being there for my friends, being there for my family, looking after people when I can.

03:26 There's a more so something I just try and embody.

03:28 I feel like if someone spent time with me,

03:30 that even just through the way I talk, my mannerisms, that's what it means to me.

03:35 It's just a feeling more than anything else.

03:38 Somewhat, because I feel like I have some really positive examples in my life of masculine men.

03:45 So being able to embody some similar traits to them, etc.

03:49 And I have good blueprints.

03:51 So it's just a question of taking what's useful and discarding what's not.

03:56 My dad's definitely a huge example of a great male role model.

04:03 Discipline. I'd say strength of will, strength of character,

04:07 integrity. So be a man of your word.

04:11 Say what you mean. Don't snake around things.

04:13 He's instilled those things in me.

04:15 Be someone other people can rely on as much as you can.

04:19 Why did you want to have a chat with us about the Siren campaign?

04:24 And it focuses primarily about trying to stop violence against women.

04:29 But the way of doing that is trying to understand how men think and why men don't want to open up

04:35 about their things, which does eventually lead to violence against women.

04:38 You can reduce stigma by, you know, there's trends of saying,

04:42 let's normalise this or normalise that.

04:45 I think a better way than just telling people to normalise something

04:49 is just being normal about it and just speaking about yourself.

04:52 That's why I try to just emphasise having good people around you.

04:56 That way, when I go to my people, my friends,

05:00 I can get a real feedback instead of just egging me on or whatever.

05:06 When I go, when I have my FaceTime calls with my friends asking about whatever,

05:12 they'll tell me their honest opinion and then you can take it and do what you want with that.

05:18 I'm a millennial, but I look at Gen Z and I think of them as being the most kind of

05:24 progressive in that way, in terms of talking about their feelings.

05:28 I think there's a lot of knowledge and information out there.

05:32 And I think we're "intellectual" more so than maybe previous generations.

05:37 But I don't think that equates to wisdom.

05:39 I think those are two different things.

05:42 You can know all you need to know about a subject and not be able to apply it.

05:45 As well, I don't know if you can relate, but I think

05:48 it can be difficult to open up in a general sense, because I think as young men,

05:55 we work better, me anyway, I work better with solutions.

06:01 More so than just speaking.

06:04 Me included, that's what a lot of young men need or desire anyway.

06:10 Like some sense of community, solution, purpose, as you mentioned earlier, purpose.

06:17 Purposelessness can cause a lot of issues.

06:27 Singe, let's talk about Gone Scene Blocked.

06:30 Give us a bit of a taste as to what it's about.

06:32 That's what it says on the tin.

06:33 It's about, I guess, relationships in the modern day and how they can be quite disposable,

06:42 or how they can feel that way.

06:43 So, gone, as in gone from your life, scene, left unseen.

06:47 If anyone uses technology today, you can see when someone sees your messages.

06:52 And then blocked, you have the option to completely block someone out of your life

06:57 on social media, etc.

06:59 And I highlight as well, I guess, the young men facing the challenge that is breakups.

07:05 I've had a few breakups myself, and they are, I think you kind of underestimate how

07:10 hard and horrible they are.

07:12 Do you reckon there's ever pressure to have the male bravado thing,

07:16 of you've got to have everything together and always be the guy that's always happy,

07:21 you're always the guy?

07:23 Definitely.

07:25 I think there is, and I think some of it is warranted in the sense that

07:28 I'm not vulnerable with everybody.

07:32 I don't believe I need to be.

07:34 But I think it's important to have a group of people that you can be very open with.

07:38 And if you have a good friend group that you can trust, then that sort of

07:44 omits a lot of that potential insecurity or whatever.

07:51 If you have people that you can trust and talk to, then yeah.

07:54 I don't know if you feel this way, but sometimes there's pressure for when guys do something

07:57 in a group, they have to follow the group consensus or whatever.

08:00 Say if one of the boys said something that was a little bit inappropriate or maybe backwards,

08:05 or even something a bit sexist, but you think there's that pressure for guys to fit in.

08:10 Fitting in is more important than doing the right thing.

08:13 Do you know what I mean?

08:14 I think that exists.

08:15 I can't currently relate personally, because I only really want to surround myself with

08:20 people that are like-minded, so I don't want to have to be challenging my friend every

08:26 time and being like, "Yo, don't watch what you're saying, this, that, this, that."

08:30 If we're like-minded generally, you don't have to do that.

08:33 But I think if you are in that situation, yeah, you should definitely say something.

08:38 If something...

08:39 But I think there's even a wider conversation to be had if you're in a group of friends

08:46 and you don't morally agree with a lot of their views, then you might...

08:50 I don't know, there might be more conversations to be had with them.

08:54 That's a good point.

08:55 Yeah, maybe not just in that one moment, but...

08:57 Yeah, you might want to look, reflect and think, "Okay, maybe I should be around more

09:02 like-minded people," or not.

09:04 It's up to you, you know?

09:05 Yeah, exactly.

09:06 Sound it out, get sound advice, be sound as.

09:10 Sound it out, get sound advice, be sound as.

09:16 [music]

09:18 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Sage Todz - Modern relationships & men finding it hard to talk to each other

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