00:00 People don't know this, but sleep is bad for you.
00:02 Did you read that somewhere?
00:03 I don't read. It lowers your testosterone.
00:04 Really?
00:05 Podcast police!
00:05 Put the mics down! Put the mics down!
00:07 I don't even think about it!
00:08 This episode is over, fellas.
00:10 We're the podcast police.
00:11 We're a task force that stops white guys from starting podcasts for no reason.
00:14 Anything you say can and will be used against you.
00:16 Subscribe to the Patreon.
00:17 Alright, enough!
00:18 It's become a real problem here in Los Angeles.
00:20 These guys reuse mics, share mics, podcast in the morning, podcast at night.
00:24 Hell, half the time, they don't realize the mic's not even plugged in.
00:27 Poor guy doesn't even have a co-host.
00:28 Mic's down! Mic's down!
00:30 God damn it, they fled!
00:32 Just missed them. Mic's still hot.
00:33 Jesus!
00:34 Every year, we lose about half our recruits.
00:36 Do they die?
00:36 No.
00:37 We lose them to podcasting.
00:38 Class of 2015?
00:40 Lost a lot of good men.
00:42 Just busted a 17-year-old for podcasting.
00:44 Already on the mic.
00:45 What life advice could you possibly be sharing?
00:48 Hey! Get back here!
00:49 Parents call.
00:50 Hey, I had no idea my son was podcasting.
00:52 You had no idea?
00:54 Your son's 11!
00:55 And he's asking for a goddamn cold plug!
00:57 Alright, man, what do you need? I got mics, I got whatever podcasting equipment you need.
01:00 You know what? I need for you to get on the ground!
01:02 Go, go, go! Get down, get down!
01:03 Suspect apprehended! Suspect apprehended!
01:05 This is personal to me because I lost my brother to broadcasting.
01:09 He was top of his class. Then one day he says to me,
01:11 "We have such funny conversations. Why don't we start recording now?"
01:14 From that point on, he was hooked.
01:16 You gotta follow the money. All this is funded by big sponsors.
01:19 You got Roman, BetterHelp, Athletic Greens.
01:21 Those guys go under, this whole nightmare ends.
01:24 Good fucking luck.
01:25 See, the best time to invest is yesterday, so when it comes to compound nutrients...
01:28 Everything okay there, buddy?
01:29 We got a runner! We got a runner!
01:31 Drop the mic and don't say another word!
01:34 Well, biologically speaking, men are stronger than...
01:36 For 25% off MeUndies, use code...
01:44 Ugh.
01:45 Get the goddamn code.
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