Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers Speed Date Each Other

them.

In this game-ified version of speed dating, the "Las Culturistas" podcast hosts ask each other about their preferences in a partner. See besties Bowen and Matt interview each other one at a time with juicy first date questions that'll determine their compatibility. Are they a good match for each other? Take a look!  Director: Jameer Pond Director of Photography: Mar Talent: Matt Rogers, Bowen Yang Producer: Madison Coffey Line Producer: Jen Santos Associate Producer: Rafael Vasquez Production Manager: James Pipitone Production Coordinator: Tania Jones Talent Booker: Keaton Bell Camera Operator: Jack Belisle Gaffer: David Djaco, Niklas Moller Audio Engineer: Sean Paulsen Production Assistant: Erica Jordan, Rowmel Findley

Transcript

00:00 - Do you suck toes?

00:01 - There's nothing like putting a toe in your mouth

00:03 and both simultaneously looking at each other's eyes

00:06 and realizing it's not for you at the same time.

00:08 (upbeat music)

00:11 - Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang,

00:14 you are about to speed date each other.

00:16 You will ask each other first date questions

00:18 until you're asked to stop.

00:20 You will be given 90 seconds each round to do so.

00:22 You must be completely honest with each other.

00:25 Good luck.

00:26 - This will be the first time

00:27 where we're really truly honest.

00:29 (laughing)

00:30 - Oh, hello. - Thank you so much.

00:31 - Them.

00:32 - Thank you, them.

00:33 I love this restaurant, by the way.

00:35 - Yeah, it's really good.

00:36 I've been hearing about it.

00:36 Five stars. - Five stars.

00:38 (upbeat music)

00:41 Would you let your pet stay in the room,

00:43 and I'm just reading what's on the card,

00:45 while you're shagging?

00:47 - I have had a pet in the bed with me while I was shagging.

00:51 You know which pet.

00:52 - Which pet?

00:53 Bailey? - Jane.

00:54 - Jane.

00:55 - She was doing this.

00:57 (laughing)

00:59 The dog was sitting on the edge of the bed, just like.

01:01 - Judging, or a turn on?

01:02 - I think because the animal wasn't mine,

01:05 it was my boyfriend at the time.

01:06 I think she was like, "You're fucking my man."

01:09 (laughing)

01:10 - You're fucking my daddy.

01:11 - You're fucking my daddy.

01:12 - Uh-huh.

01:12 - And I'm right here, girl.

01:14 I can see it all.

01:15 - I haven't been fed in six days.

01:16 - But I was eating.

01:17 - Ooh.

01:18 - Period. - Period.

01:19 - Oh, he's gonna hate this.

01:21 Okay, rank my exes without naming names.

01:26 I'm gonna say that there are three.

01:27 - There's three.

01:28 - In last place is a guy who I really did not.

01:32 - Stop!

01:33 - Did not care for.

01:35 It's fine.

01:36 And then, oh my God.

01:37 I haven't seen him in a while, but I love him so much.

01:39 But I'm gonna say this one.

01:42 - Yeah.

01:43 - This is a saxophone. - It looks like a big dick.

01:44 - No, this is a saxophone.

01:45 - Not no.

01:46 - Not no, though.

01:47 - And then is number one, our beloved.

01:49 - Our beloved.

01:50 - Describe him.

01:51 - He's got curly hair.

01:52 - Yes.

01:53 - A very talented director.

01:54 He's so funny.

01:55 He is the most hyperbolic individual.

01:57 He says any song that he listens to,

01:59 he says is the best song of all time.

02:00 - Yeah, and he loves Taylor.

02:01 - And he loves Taylor.

02:02 - And we forgive the one that's on the bottom, too.

02:03 We forgive.

02:05 - Sure.

02:06 - We forgive, we forgive, but we never let it go!

02:09 Taylor Swift.

02:10 (upbeat music)

02:13 - Rank Taylor Swift's eras.

02:15 - This is gonna take up the whole 90 seconds.

02:16 - It sure would.

02:17 - I'll go in backwards order.

02:18 - This is hot.

02:19 - Debut, you know, she was just introducing herself.

02:23 - I think she would agree.

02:23 - I love the Speak Now era.

02:25 - Fair.

02:26 - Lover.

02:27 I have listened to Revisited, it's phenomenal.

02:29 Then I'm gonna say--

02:30 - More on that later.

02:31 - Fearless.

02:32 - Fearless, good.

02:33 - Then I'm gonna say Red.

02:35 No!

02:35 - You're ranking Midnight over Red?

02:37 - No, no, no.

02:38 - This is why you shouldn't have gone backwards.

02:38 - Then I'm gonna do Midnight.

02:39 - Okay.

02:40 - Then I'm gonna do Evermore.

02:41 - Yeah, well.

02:42 - Then I'm gonna do Red.

02:43 - Okay.

02:44 - Then I'm gonna do Folklore, then I'm gonna do,

02:46 number one is Reputation.

02:47 - Number one is Reputation.

02:48 This is gonna work out.

02:49 - Who is your favorite real housewife of all time?

02:52 - Of all time?

02:53 Of all time?

02:54 - It's really hard.

02:55 - Dolores Catania.

02:56 - Dolores?

02:57 - Yeah, from New Jersey.

02:58 - Why?

02:59 I did not expect you to say that.

03:00 - Because when I watch her, she takes me home.

03:01 - But does she fulfill the superlative of best?

03:05 Oh, I guess it's favorite, I'm sorry.

03:06 - It's favorite, you know what I mean?

03:08 It's about personal tastes.

03:09 That's just, when you said you're Taylor Swift-erous,

03:11 I didn't say one thing.

03:13 - You raised your eyebrow a couple times.

03:14 - Just, and you raised your voice

03:17 when I said Dolores Catania.

03:18 - Okay.

03:19 Do an impression of me for all to see.

03:22 - Bowen Yang is like, "All right, okay."

03:26 He's sort of like, Bowen Yang is Bowen Yang.

03:30 Bowen Yang.

03:31 Like he's Yang.

03:32 Like he likes a hard eye.

03:33 Sometimes, like, you put a little bit of,

03:35 you have a little bit of a lisp.

03:37 - Uh-huh.

03:37 - Yeah, I don't notice my lisp, but then--

03:39 - Yeah, I don't notice my lisp.

03:41 [laughing]

03:42 [upbeat music]

03:44 - Biggest red flag you let pass because someone was hot.

03:47 - One time I hooked up with someone,

03:49 and after I hooked up with them,

03:50 they said, "Can we take a selfie?"

03:51 - I've had that happen to me before the hookup,

03:55 and I was like--

03:56 - Hot and horny.

03:57 - If I say no, then does it make it weird?

03:59 But then him asking makes it weird no matter what.

04:02 - Maybe he has a humiliation kink,

04:04 and he wanted you to say, "No, fucking idiot."

04:08 - "You're a loser."

04:09 And then you guys have passionate lovemaking,

04:11 which is what every Grindr hookup is.

04:13 - Passionate lovemaking.

04:15 Do you suck toes?

04:17 - You know what?

04:18 I'm gonna be honest.

04:19 I was hooking up with someone during the pandemic,

04:21 and I went to put their toe in my mouth,

04:25 and there's nothing like putting a toe in your mouth

04:28 and both simultaneously looking at each other's eyes

04:31 and realizing it's not for you at the same time.

04:33 'Cause I don't yuck any yums,

04:35 but then we'll be sucking no--

04:36 - If we dated IRL,

04:39 perish the thought.

04:41 What's something I do that would get on your nerves?

04:44 - Bowen has this thing where he,

04:46 when he calls an Uber or a Lyft,

04:48 he runs into the street to wave it down.

04:51 And it just drives me crazy 'cause I'm like,

04:53 he knows where we are, he's gonna pull over.

04:55 But Bowen likes to--

04:56 - Some of these drivers don't know where we are.

04:58 - I understand, but you have to give them

04:59 benefit of the doubt just because when it comes to traffic,

05:02 I don't like to see you run into traffic.

05:04 And I can tell you that if we were dating,

05:06 this would drive me nuts!

05:09 (upbeat music)

05:12 - F. Mary, Kill, The Grinch, Scrooge, and Santa.

05:16 - F. The Grinch.

05:17 - For sure.

05:18 - Because there's a song that you sing

05:19 called "Hottest Female Up In Whoville."

05:20 - Yes. - It's sort of about that.

05:22 Mary, Santa.

05:25 - Rich. - 'Cause it has

05:26 his own business.

05:27 - Access to the world.

05:28 - He only travels once a year.

05:30 Every other night, he's with me.

05:32 - 100% girl.

05:32 - And then Kill, Scrooge.

05:34 'Cause he, like, this is the thing about a Christmas Carol,

05:37 not a guarantee that he's a changed man after that.

05:40 He probably goes right back to being a fucking asshole.

05:43 - 'Cause people don't change.

05:44 - People don't change.

05:45 - Choose one.

05:46 - Okay.

05:47 - "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey.

05:48 - Okay.

05:49 - "Underneath The Tree" by Kelly Clarkson.

05:50 - Sure.

05:51 - "Santa Tell Me" Ariana Grande.

05:53 - There's like one answer here,

05:54 which is "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah.

05:56 But I'll say, because I feel like that song

05:58 has had its cultural moment,

06:00 I'm gonna choose "Underneath The Tree" by Kelly Clarkson.

06:02 It's very hard to, but you said choose one.

06:05 And so therefore I have to say,

06:06 I'm gonna give it to my girl, Kelly, "Underneath The Tree,"

06:08 just because I feel like it deserves to level up.

06:11 - Yeah, great answer.

06:12 - Do I give elf, Santa, or reindeer?

06:16 - Ooh, this is a great question.

06:18 I'm gonna say you give reindeer, Rudolph.

06:21 - (gasps) Are you dragging my nose?

06:23 - I'm not dragging your nose.

06:24 - Well then why am I like Rudolph

06:27 and not like the other ones? - Because you're the star.

06:29 - Oh, that's so kind.

06:30 - I think I'm just dragging your nose.

06:32 He was a huge star. - He definitely became a star.

06:34 Well, I think what Rudolph didn't understand

06:36 in the very beginning is that what makes you different

06:38 makes you special. - Yeah.

06:39 - And I think that I wanna thank you for saying that

06:42 because for so many years of my life,

06:43 I didn't understand that all the ways in which I'm different

06:46 is the ways in which I'm special.

06:48 (dramatic music)

06:51 - How was your date?

06:52 - It was good.

06:53 I think it went really well.

06:55 He seems really nice.

06:57 We didn't eat anything.

06:59 So I think the circumstances were also a little bizarre.

07:03 - So the restaurant sucked.

07:04 He really was able to fill that sort of void

07:08 of no food and no cocktails with a lot of personality.

07:11 He was definitely really cute.

07:13 - He made me do a lot of emotional labor

07:15 and rank Taylor Swift eras.

07:19 - When he said that Midnight's was better than Red,

07:21 I was like, check please.

07:24 - It was a huge turnoff that he couldn't

07:26 do an impression of me.

07:28 - Bowen Yang, Bowen Yang.

07:30 Like he's Yang.

07:31 He doesn't have an understanding of my essence

07:34 and I'm hurt.

07:37 (laughing)

07:40 - He was immediately critical of my love

07:42 for Dolores Catania and even raised his voice.

07:46 And we were in a restaurant.

07:47 - Dolores Catania.

07:50 - Dolores?

07:50 - Dolores.

07:52 - The way that he was so nasty to me was a big turnoff.

07:56 - On a scale of one to 10,

07:58 I would give it a 7.4.

08:02 So you can't round it up to an eight.

08:04 - I would give it a 10.4.

08:07 You round it down to a 10.

08:08 (upbeat music)

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Transcript

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