- 2 years ago
El Presidente | Stool Scenes
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00:00 There's a fear that she says, "I just won't talk to Kyle."
00:03 You do?
00:05 There's a zero percent chance that happens.
00:07 If she just walked right by.
00:09 He's acting like she's literally about to walk
00:11 through the door, that's how it's like,
00:11 "Oh, no, she puts up."
00:13 Is he like gonna go up to her and stuff?
00:15 Hello.
00:18 Hello.
00:19 Wow.
00:21 Oh, wow.
00:24 Oh my God.
00:25 I thought you were gonna just sit there.
00:26 Oh my God, how are you?
00:28 Pat, oh my God.
00:29 (upbeat music)
00:31 Finally here.
00:35 New York office.
00:37 25 million, I want 20 million,
00:39 or 20 million and one dollar on me.
00:42 Hey, Chicago's office is here,
00:44 but you can't forget about us.
00:46 We gotta remind, we have a nice--
00:49 Wait, don't forget about me.
00:50 Like, y'all go to Chicago and y'all be acting brand new.
00:52 This is where it started.
00:54 Uh-huh.
00:54 Y'all ain't gonna have a front desk
00:56 and you just gonna be talking like, "Me!"
00:59 We have, this is a lobby.
01:02 I think these TVs are supposed to be on, but--
01:06 I turned them off, guys.
01:08 Stop trying to play.
01:09 You gotta pay rent, bro.
01:10 I turned them off.
01:11 That is true.
01:12 We're cutting back here,
01:15 Barcelona might see some electricity.
01:16 This is free to take for--
01:21 Hey, hey, dodge ball.
01:23 Now you're all in big trouble.
01:25 I'm gonna show you the amenities.
01:28 This is the big new thing where they have this wallpaper,
01:31 it's Barcelona Sports, but it's already kind of,
01:34 I don't know why.
01:35 Yeah, we got junk on the floor.
01:37 This is where the magic happens.
01:39 Travi leaves all his food around here.
01:41 The internet barely works.
01:43 Internet barely works.
01:44 Actually, Kareem comes in here
01:45 because this is the only spot.
01:48 Here, look, we have some trash there.
01:50 We just have Santa.
01:57 Come here, come here.
01:58 At the Chicago office, there's a golf simulator.
02:00 Come here, we have our own video game station.
02:02 We have to kind of roll up the screen,
02:07 and the only one controller works.
02:11 We're lucky to get a couple games
02:15 at the Wattfest actually.
02:16 We had a remodeling,
02:17 we couldn't come into the work for a week,
02:20 and we got back, and it was just couches.
02:24 We did have this NFL Blitz machine.
02:27 It did work.
02:29 At one point, I broke it.
02:31 It's, yep.
02:32 Broken's the name of the game around here.
02:36 Connect four.
02:37 I would just play with the buttons.
02:39 Always, well, I think we're missing the bottom part,
02:42 but this is from God knows when.
02:45 You may be wondering why there's a ladder here.
02:47 This is where you can get the best wifi,
02:51 so after you, when you upload a video,
02:54 people come here.
02:55 Closest wifi.
02:57 I think three of the boxes work these days.
03:00 Place is falling apart.
03:02 This is supposed to be the $20 million and one dollar,
03:07 $20 million and one dollar--
03:09 - Tour. - Office tour.
03:10 Don't say it's falling apart.
03:12 Chicago has a Fiji water fountain,
03:16 which is Fiji water running.
03:17 They bring in new water every single day from Fiji.
03:21 We have a urinal that hasn't stopped flowing in 12 months.
03:26 I don't know if that gets fixed at any point.
03:30 And we're gonna go to the state of the art studio.
03:32 So this is my favorite part of the office.
03:34 Studios.
03:36 We have these mics that just fall over.
03:42 Yeah, they redid the studios.
03:48 Uh.
03:48 They redid them.
03:52 I don't even, like what is this?
03:57 Is this in North Carolina, Forestland?
04:00 This is unbelievable.
04:03 We have our own montage that features Mincy twice.
04:06 Including his infamous moment.
04:11 On the first of the month, one month.
04:16 The library studio's actually pretty cool.
04:18 I'll say, I'll say.
04:19 - Makes sense though.
04:21 - They're like legit.
04:23 This is a nice little spot.
04:25 This was supposed to be, I think, put up at some point.
04:31 But the Yaku is not in the city.
04:36 We have these nice little recording songs that do nothing.
04:39 And we have these that, they're off too.
04:42 I have Barcelona up top.
04:45 I have Sirius power, or Sirius XM power effect.
04:50 Hasn't been that way for three years.
04:54 Yeah, thanks for coming along to my tour.
04:57 It's beautiful here.
04:58 The wifi, hopefully this gets up on time.
05:01 The wifi rarely works here.
05:04 - Hey, if you're looking for it,
05:06 there's a single cigarette in the snack cabinet.
05:08 - Oh, hell yeah.
05:09 - Take a puff and put it out.
05:11 - There you go.
05:11 - Watch Jeremy.
05:12 - The New York difference.
05:14 It's community.
05:15 You have a golf simulator, we have a single cigarette.
05:19 - Who's coming in?
05:19 - Alex Cooper.
05:23 - Who?
05:24 - Alex Cooper.
05:25 - Why? - Here?
05:25 - Yeah.
05:26 - Oh, what's the reason?
05:27 - Tommy's, Tommy's freaking out.
05:29 - That she was coming in just to shoot Smoke Show?
05:32 - To do the Smoke Show, yeah.
05:34 - I mean, I was talking to Dave about it.
05:36 'Cause I was like, is there any chance that you can,
05:38 or I can FaceTime her for a video.
05:41 And Dave said he's going to her live show next week.
05:43 And he was like, I'll just put a camera in her face
05:45 and make her talk to you, or put his phone.
05:47 But I mean, if she's gonna be.
05:48 - She's gonna be at one.
05:49 - Two old rivals, like Hamilton and Byrne.
05:52 Seeing each other down the hallway.
05:55 Call her daddy, call her mommy, fixing off.
05:59 One battle royale.
06:01 Winner take all.
06:03 Winner gets the 50 million from Spotify.
06:07 - Erica tells me, and I'm like, what is she here for?
06:09 And Erica either doesn't know,
06:11 or is telling me she doesn't know.
06:13 And I was like, do you think she would do some content?
06:15 Like what she have on radio?
06:16 And Erica's like, totally, I think so.
06:18 And I was like, you do?
06:20 There's a zero percent chance that happens.
06:23 - There's a fear.
06:24 There's a fear that she says, I just won't talk to Tommy.
06:26 I'll do anything.
06:27 - I think she's big enough now that she doesn't walk alone.
06:29 Like she's got people with her,
06:31 and they're gonna see you and like spray you.
06:33 - I bet she's coming around, Mommy.
06:34 - I bet the dust is just.
06:35 The dust is just.
06:38 - It's been long enough.
06:40 - He's acting like she's literally
06:41 about to walk through the door.
06:42 That's how I was like, oh, you know, tits up.
06:44 What's going on?
06:45 - But it's while we're on radio.
06:47 So I sent a message that will undoubtedly not be opened.
06:50 And we'll try to have her come on radio
06:52 and it 100% will not happen,
06:54 but gotta take a shot, right?
06:55 - If she just walked right by.
06:57 Like, just thinks he's just a custodian here.
07:02 And just walks right through.
07:03 - Call her Mommy.
07:04 I mean, how could you forget call her Mommy?
07:05 - All right, we have a loaded episode for you guys today.
07:08 We're talking new sexual intercourse moves,
07:10 some penis in some vagina.
07:13 We're gonna tell you how to slide in a girl's DMs.
07:16 We're gonna talk to the Dilf Hunter,
07:17 see what she's got to say.
07:18 - Dilf Hunter, baby.
07:20 - And of course, we'll take some questions
07:22 from you guys in the Mommy gang.
07:24 So let's get into it.
07:25 - Do you call her Mommy?
07:27 Do I call him Mommy?
07:29 Call him Mommy.
07:33 (laughing)
07:34 Showtime, baby, let's make some magic.
07:36 - It went from like, I'm joking around
07:38 with the quirky weird dude at Barstool,
07:42 'cause I'm making content there now,
07:44 to, oh, I never have to talk to people like him ever again.
07:47 - One on radio where I was like,
07:49 it was like right in the mix of this,
07:50 and me and Dave were talking about it.
07:52 And Dave was like, "Tom, I love you,
07:54 but if I could only save one of you, I would drown you."
07:57 (laughing)
07:58 - Like it's not even that far.
07:59 - I was like, you know what?
08:00 I was like, let's check back in like 10 years.
08:02 Let's see who's doing better.
08:04 - So far, Alex, a massive headstart.
08:06 - Listen, we've both gone on to big things since then.
08:09 - Wait, let me just be clear to the audience
08:12 and everybody here.
08:13 There's a 0% chance any of this is happening.
08:15 There's a Doctor Strange in the Avengers,
08:17 one in 14 million scenarios,
08:20 where you catch her walking out the door
08:22 and you like bombard her with a video
08:25 and you get her in.
08:26 - But here's the thing.
08:26 - That's it.
08:27 - My life has been built on those one in 14 million scenarios.
08:32 The universe, God smokes me.
08:33 And so I think there's a chance God's a smokes fan.
08:37 - I mean, if she, look, if she wants to break the internet,
08:39 the offer is there at the back.
08:40 - Sure.
08:41 - Wow.
08:42 - Sure.
08:43 - She's, you know she's watching.
08:43 - Come on, Coop.
08:44 You know, it's been a while.
08:45 Let's bury the hatchet.
08:46 Let's make some magic.
08:47 Let's make a quick scene and let's go beavy.
08:50 - Why is Tommy freaking out?
08:52 She probably doesn't even know who Tommy is.
08:54 - Remember they did the videos?
08:55 - Thank you.
08:56 - She probably doesn't know who any of us are.
08:58 (laughing)
08:59 - Tommy, I hope he just,
09:01 is he like gonna go up to her and stuff?
09:02 - Yeah.
09:03 (laughing)
09:06 - Hello.
09:07 (laughing)
09:10 - Good thing nothing has changed.
09:12 - Everything has changed.
09:14 - I already said I'd get out of here.
09:16 - How are you?
09:17 - Francis!
09:20 Tommy!
09:21 - Alex!
09:22 (laughing)
09:23 - We're meeting, you wanna make?
09:24 - Wow.
09:25 (laughing)
09:26 - How are you?
09:28 Pat, oh my God.
09:30 - Grandma, the mic right there.
09:31 - Oh, okay.
09:32 - And we're live.
09:33 - And we're live.
09:34 - What are we, what is this?
09:35 - This is Barstool Radio.
09:35 - Barstool Radio.
09:36 - Oh, hey.
09:37 - So we're live on YouTube right now.
09:38 - I got my own show.
09:39 - So it's like.
09:40 - You're big dick energy now.
09:40 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:41 - Fuck.
09:42 - Yeah.
09:43 - I knew you would make it.
09:44 - Thank you, yeah, no, I know.
09:45 We always said that.
09:45 The two of us would be one and two.
09:47 - This is crazy, it's like the same as I left.
09:50 It's vile.
09:50 - Yeah, you kinda went on to bigger and better things
09:53 and we're just.
09:54 - No, no, no, no guys.
09:55 - I am never too good for Barstool.
09:57 I don't forget where I came from.
09:59 I remember, I remember.
10:00 - She's so bad at smokes.
10:02 She ran over, gave him a hug.
10:04 Pretty good.
10:05 Go smokes, go.
10:06 - When I was here, I really had to work
10:08 on like establishing my brand
10:10 and you couldn't be a part of that.
10:11 - Yeah, that's fair.
10:12 - But now that the brand is established,
10:13 the way that Call Her Daddy did start to get some traction
10:17 in this office was because we were so like,
10:20 no, we wanna do our own thing, you know?
10:21 And I think it worked branding wise.
10:23 - Was that on purpose though?
10:25 - Yeah.
10:25 - So you kinda helped establish that brand.
10:26 - I don't think it would be on accident.
10:28 - No, I knew what I was doing.
10:29 Like I think it was like sticking out
10:30 like a sore thumb here was good for us.
10:32 And I think it like made us kind of more polarizing
10:35 and even if it was guys online hating us,
10:37 I think it was good.
10:38 - So did you ever really dislike me or?
10:40 - No, Tommy, I didn't love your outfit.
10:43 - I keep seeing you guys say don't wear khakis.
10:45 - Yeah, fuck khakis.
10:46 - What's up with that?
10:47 - They're just like, yeah.
10:48 They're not flattering, they're not hot.
10:50 - Don't wear khakis.
10:51 - Okay.
10:52 - I would like to order you guys to dress him.
10:55 I'll give you a budget.
10:56 Can you take him and like dress him?
10:58 - I never didn't like you,
11:00 but I didn't think it was like appropriate
11:01 for us to give you a makeover.
11:03 'Cause like--
11:03 - It was your idea.
11:04 - It would've cheapened the brand.
11:06 - It would've cheapened the brand.
11:07 - And then maybe things would've--
11:08 - No, no, no, I agree.
11:10 It wouldn't have unfolded the way it did.
11:11 - If you took Tommy's alarmingly stupid smokes
11:14 and made him something,
11:15 it would be like the daddy gang can do anything.
11:17 - Yeah, well, you know, I don't regret it though.
11:20 - Okay, yeah, I mean, things have turned out all right
11:21 for you.
11:22 - I'm doing pretty decent.
11:24 - Pretty good.
11:25 - I'm doing my thing.
11:26 - It's so cool to come back though.
11:26 So I think it was a lot of like me just like trusting myself
11:29 to like fucking get it done.
11:30 And it's cool to now see like everyone say like,
11:32 wow, you over, you like promise and you over delivered.
11:36 - And to think none of it would have happened
11:37 if you had done the thing.
11:39 - It was Tommy.
11:40 - None of it.
11:40 You would've fucked up the whole thing.
11:41 - I mean, butterfly effect.
11:42 (laughing)
11:43 - It could be me with the Spotify deal
11:46 and you sitting on this couch from Barstool Radio.
11:48 - Are you--
11:48 - It could have never happened.
11:49 (laughing)
11:51 I'm just kidding, I'm kidding.
11:52 Many, like the guys were like,
11:53 Alex has more lighting cues than like those we've worked on.
11:56 I'm like, that sounds about right.
11:58 Holy fuck, the daddy gang is so loyal.
11:59 So I love them and I'm so appreciative.
12:01 - You just a quick question.
12:03 - You're back, you got rehired.
12:05 - Yeah.
12:06 - I know.
12:06 - When I was here, you got fired.
12:08 - Yeah, those were fun times.
12:09 (laughing)
12:12 No, we're doing great, Yumi.
12:13 I wanted to ask, 'cause I was performing in Boston
12:17 this last weekend and on the same night,
12:19 not too far from you.
12:20 And I was thinking, do you think we should make sure
12:23 that we don't go to the same market in the same night
12:26 because we can cannibalize?
12:28 I sold out and I was wondering if that had hurt you.
12:33 - You know what, it didn't hurt me.
12:35 I didn't feel that.
12:36 But what I do know is like,
12:37 we probably have very different audiences.
12:39 - It could be.
12:40 - I think.
12:40 - I tend to have like the college educated.
12:43 (laughing)
12:44 - And what would you call the daddy gang?
12:46 Let's make sure this goes online.
12:47 - I don't know.
12:48 - You're gonna get fired again.
12:49 - I love the daddy gang, personally.
12:50 - Are they like readers or not really?
12:53 I don't think they're--
12:54 - They definitely are readers.
12:55 - Are they?
12:56 - Yeah, readers of the mind.
12:58 Of the male mind.
12:59 - That's too bad.
13:00 - It's okay, Francis.
13:01 I'm glad you sold out though, congrats.
13:02 - Yeah, thanks, thanks.
13:03 I did well.
13:04 All five shows, no big deal.
13:06 Yeah, how many shows did you sell out?
13:09 - I sold out seven.
13:10 - And how many seats are we talking?
13:14 - Like 5,000 to like 7,000.
13:17 - Cool.
13:18 - So you can do the math there, right?
13:19 How many people sold out?
13:20 - Look, we don't have to.
13:21 - Harvard, right?
13:22 - We don't have to do the math.
13:22 - Francis, I love you.
13:23 I'm so proud of you.
13:24 - Thank you.
13:25 Look at us, a couple college athletes from Boston.
13:28 Done good.
13:29 - I just feel like there's like a whole camera crew
13:31 of Phil's back there.
13:33 (laughing)
13:34 - I don't think people realize that was--
13:36 - Intentional.
13:37 - Yeah.
13:38 - It's cool to now have watched Barstool
13:40 and be like, I feel like I'm creating a new version
13:42 for myself of a network of people I believe in.
13:44 - Guys, good seeing you guys.
13:46 - See you guys tomorrow at noon.
13:47 - Holy shit.
13:49 - Thanks for popping by.
13:50 - Thanks guys.
13:51 - Are you guys ready for a three minute video?
13:52 - Okay.
13:53 - This might be your Tommy time of the lot.
13:54 (laughing)
13:57 - Wonder if we could pull up the stool scene clip
13:59 of like me going in here and just like yelling at Dave.
14:02 Why does Dave have a bed in his office?
14:09 - The fuck?
14:11 - It's so weird being back,
14:13 but also feels like the same.
14:15 - I just moved back to Los Alamos.
14:17 - Oh you did?
14:18 - I was in Florida for the last two years.
14:20 - And now you're back.
14:20 - Now I'm back full time.
14:21 - You and Davey just going down to Miami
14:23 and leaving everyone for death.
14:24 - Yeah, avoiding taxes.
14:25 - I, fuck, I get it, those LA taxes, I'm like, ooh.
14:29 Fran!
14:29 - Hey!
14:30 - Hi!
14:31 - Good to see you.
14:32 - It's so good to see you.
14:33 - It's so cool.
14:34 - Oh wait, you guys are here.
14:35 - Thank you.
14:35 - It's so crazy.
14:36 - Everybody's getting married.
14:37 - No, I know, I'm like you, me, and Dan,
14:39 like we started and we're like little babies
14:41 and now we're all fucking in a cage.
14:42 - I know, I know.
14:43 - So Alex Cooper is here and as one last ditch effort
14:47 to make the Forbes 30 Under 30 list,
14:50 I need her official endorsement.
14:52 - Okay, I think she's gonna come.
14:53 - Sure.
14:54 (laughing)
14:57 - Can I use that cam for a smoke shot?
14:59 - Yeah.
15:00 (laughing)
15:02 We're filming whatever we can, all right?
15:05 - All right.
15:06 - We're getting all the content we can.
15:08 - Dan.
15:09 - I can't do this.
15:11 - Fran's eating up all your time right now.
15:17 - Is this funny?
15:18 - I want her to blow you off, no offense,
15:23 in the worst way.
15:24 - Honestly, the play here for her is absolutely to be like,
15:28 I'm so sorry, I gotta go.
15:29 - Oh yeah.
15:29 - If she left you hanging, it would be unbelievable.
15:32 - Why do you have a tag on the shirt still?
15:34 - Comedic effect, Phil, comedic effect.
15:36 (laughing)
15:38 (laughing)
15:41 - Get in there, Tommy.
15:57 - All right, where should we set up here?
15:59 - So we're gonna do a little scene where I,
16:03 this is sort of like a sitcom acting, so.
16:07 We'll set up maybe over here.
16:09 - Okay.
16:09 - What, do you want me to stand over here?
16:10 - No, I'll sit here.
16:12 - Tommy's suddenly directing a 20 camera shoot.
16:14 - No, I saw something on TikTok the other day
16:17 and it was like you walking by,
16:19 like begging us as we were sitting in the front lobby,
16:21 like, please give me the makeover.
16:22 And we wouldn't make eye contact with you.
16:25 We were like really in character.
16:27 - Yeah, yeah, I was in character too.
16:28 - Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
16:29 - If you wanna sit here, I'll sit here, sort of like.
16:31 - Okay, so you're gonna interview her, Tommy, is that right?
16:34 Are you gonna interview her again?
16:35 - No, I'm gonna ask you, it's like three minutes.
16:36 - Can we put a mic on you?
16:38 - Sure.
16:38 - That would be great.
16:39 - Yeah, yeah, okay.
16:40 - Can one of you go on the other end?
16:41 - I don't know, do we want Tommy in the doc?
16:42 Like, fuck, fuck me.
16:44 We probably won't use this in the doc, but.
16:46 - That's fine.
16:47 - No, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.
16:48 - As long as I have it.
16:49 - So, Tommy, can you just go to Joe and grab a drink?
16:50 - Of course, of course.
16:51 - Thank you so much.
16:53 - Tommy.
16:54 - He was the bane of my existence when I worked here.
16:57 He was like the gnat that like you would walk
16:59 around the corner and be like, oh, Tommy again.
17:02 And then I'd be like coming out of the bathroom stall
17:03 and I'd be like, oh my God, Tommy again.
17:05 And then I'd be like getting in my Uber to go home
17:07 and it's like, Tommy's the driver.
17:08 Like literally every, like, where I turn, it was Tommy.
17:12 Yeah, no, it's Tommy.
17:14 - I wore a lot of khaki pants.
17:20 - A lot of khakis, a lot of just like unfuckable material
17:24 on his body that like, we were like, you could,
17:26 you could get there if you tried a little bit harder.
17:29 And then he became obsessed being like,
17:31 well then give me a makeover.
17:32 And then Dave and Erica and everyone in the office was like,
17:36 do an episode, put him on an episode of Call Her Daddy
17:38 and give him makeover.
17:39 And respectfully, we were like, over our dead bodies,
17:42 Tommy fucking smokes the first guest on Call Her Daddy
17:44 in the history of, no, like, it's just not gonna happen.
17:47 You were the epitome of everything
17:49 you didn't want to be associated with.
17:50 - Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
17:52 But now it's like.
17:53 - No, no, no, now it's like we're homies, we're friends.
17:55 - I guess, I mean, let's just seal it with like,
17:57 maybe follow me back on Instagram.
17:58 - Oh yes, yes.
18:00 - Or seal it, @tomsmiley, @tomsmiley.
18:02 - Yes, I'll do that tonight.
18:03 - Yeah, or now, or even later.
18:06 Yeah, okay, cool, cool.
18:07 - God bless.
18:08 - Seal it with a pic.
18:09 It's like gangs coming together.
18:11 - Okay, okay, wait.
18:13 - We don't have anything we hold up.
18:15 - Oh, okay, just a picture.
18:16 All right, Tommy.
18:24 - All right, I'm done with you, thanks.
18:26 - I'm done with you, thanks.
18:28 - Woo, okay.
18:29 - All right.
18:30 - It was huge.
18:35 - It was huge.
18:36 - I could have gotten better.
18:38 - Besides her maybe calling you bud before.
18:40 - I love how Erica was like,
18:47 did you ever come to this office?
18:49 I'm like, yes, Erica, like.
18:51 - Well, you gotta understand,
18:53 we were coming from a place of jealousy and like.
18:57 - No, it was all crazy.
18:58 - Like it was crazy.
18:59 - Like it was, I'm sure your version and our version
19:03 and then the truth is, so you know what I mean?
19:04 - I totally get it.
19:06 Yeah, what is my background?
19:07 Like what gets green screened in here?
19:09 - It's just a gray background.
19:10 I don't know why we do a green screen
19:12 to put a gray screen.
19:13 - It's the silliest thing that they do.
19:15 - In a castle or something like.
19:16 - Yeah, like what the fuck?
19:17 What the fuck?
19:18 - Whatever you wanna be put in, we can do that.
19:20 - Yeah.
19:21 - Okay, okay.
19:22 - Space, like.
19:23 - I know, I'm like, put me in space.
19:25 - It's very big.
19:25 - Tell me the universe.
19:26 - Oh yeah, show me an example
19:27 so I know what I'm doing.
19:28 - Okay, thank you.
19:30 - No, it is not.
19:31 - Space, give me the question.
19:32 - You probably just look.
19:32 - Do you give up?
19:33 - Okay.
19:34 - Do you give up an inch of dislike?
19:36 No.
19:37 (laughing)
19:38 - Okay, so just like, just answer.
19:39 - It's like totally.
19:41 You are very, very capable of that.
19:42 - I got this.
19:43 You know what I'm still hurt about?
19:45 Is that we never got our own studio.
19:47 We never got our own studio.
19:49 We would have to take our cover art
19:51 and like replace it with someone else's
19:53 and like put our shit out there.
19:54 It was all we ever wanted.
19:55 - They should have come into my studio.
19:57 - And ripped me out.
19:58 - Rip me out.
19:59 (laughing)
20:00 - Fuck.
20:00 'Cause part of my take had it.
20:02 And I knew they, and everyone would be like,
20:04 well they've been here for years.
20:05 I'm like.
20:06 - You, part of my take deserved,
20:07 you should have kicked, they should have kicked me out.
20:08 - Yeah, yeah, you should have.
20:09 No, I'm just kidding.
20:10 I'm just kidding.
20:11 Okay.
20:12 - Okay, cool.
20:13 So you're just gonna be like,
20:14 I'm Alex Cooper, I'm here to answer the internet.
20:15 You read the question, answer it.
20:17 And I'll banter back and forth with you if you want to.
20:19 But it's more you to the camera, okay?
20:20 - Okay, cool.
20:21 - Here you go.
20:22 - Wait, I say, hi, I'm Alex Cooper.
20:23 - And I'm here to answer the internet.
20:26 - Okay.
20:28 Hi, I'm Alex Cooper and I'm here to answer the internet.
20:30 Fuck my life.
20:32 Goodbye.
20:33 Okay.
20:35 Hi, I'm Alex Cooper and I'm here to answer the internet.
20:38 Would you rather give up the hungover breakfast sandwich
20:42 or the drunk pizza?
20:44 100% the drunk pizza.
20:45 I am obsessed with the bacon, egg, and cheese
20:47 with cream cheese on it and everything bagel toasted.
20:49 Put it up my asshole, let's go.
20:52 - The highlight of the day might have been
20:53 Meek Phil going, why do you still have a tag on your shirt?
20:56 And Tommy goes, for comedic effect!
20:58 (laughing)
21:00 Also, it's funny, it's an expensive shirt
21:04 with the tag still on it.
21:05 - He's been doing it for three weeks.
21:06 - And Meek Phil's in his face every second.
21:08 - Why do you have a tag on the shirt still?
21:10 - Comedic effect, Phil, comedic effect.
21:13 (laughing)
21:15 - Joe, did you see Alex Cooper was in here yesterday?
21:20 - You know, I don't know what she's coming around here for.
21:22 I'm the new supreme here.
21:25 I may not have $60 million, but you know what I have?
21:27 It's pizzazz.
21:29 I've got drive and I'm caked up.
21:32 I think she came on a day purposely I wasn't here
21:35 'cause she didn't want any altercations.
21:36 We're both big wigs in the industry,
21:38 we have been for many years.
21:40 She has a Cosmo cover right now,
21:42 but who reads Cosmo anymore?
21:44 I have a Jugs magazine cover coming out in November.
21:47 So, step your game up, daddy gang.
21:50 I'm upset she probably didn't come
21:51 'cause she didn't want any bad blood between us.
21:54 - Yeah, the man mafia and the daddy gang.
21:56 You think there could be beef there?
21:57 - Yeah, and that poor Sophia Richie,
21:59 she's torn between the two of us.
22:01 What's her last name?
22:03 - Franklin.
22:04 - Sophia Franklin, yeah, she doesn't know
22:05 what to make of it all.
22:07 But yeah, I'm proud of her.
22:09 I mean, she's given it a little try
22:11 for her little small business.
22:12 I'm sure she'll do fine.
22:13 Not my cup of tea, but.
22:17 (upbeat music)
22:20 - Jerry, and then it's a free throw.
22:38 - Come on, Jer.
22:39 - Jerry!
22:41 (cheering)
22:43 - Jersey, Jerry!
22:44 - Yes!
22:45 (upbeat music)
22:48 - I've been gaining weight.
22:49 - So you're wearing the same pants you were?
22:52 - I've been gaining weight.
22:54 My pants didn't fit.
22:55 34, 32's my normal size.
22:58 Way too tight.
22:58 I'm probably 36, 33 getting taller.
23:00 - Little body armor, see-saw.
23:04 - What do you got going there?
23:05 - Something light, little body armor wristband,
23:07 my headband somewhere.
23:09 - You tried on yet?
23:12 - Yeah, sideways though.
23:13 (laughing)
23:15 - I'm gonna rip it out.
23:16 - I've been down with the bris and all my life.
23:18 (upbeat music)
23:23 - You gotta go.
23:29 (cheering)
23:31 - Florida Legends, now in his run of the tournament,
23:38 Jaylen Caffey.
23:39 - I didn't know he was the mop guy.
23:43 I just saw him out on the floor
23:44 and I got scared and then I saw the mop in his hand
23:47 breathe a huge sigh of relief.
23:48 Thank God, I thought he was charging the fucking ref.
23:51 He's been chewing the ref out nonstop.
23:55 - Feeling good?
23:56 - What's up?
23:57 - Kyle was saying you were talking to the ref
23:58 for a little bit there.
23:59 - Yeah, they got a weak table.
24:01 For opening possession, they went down to 27
24:03 while it was still jostling around.
24:05 Review the tape, horrible table.
24:13 - I mean, look at how slow, he's arguing with people,
24:15 he's going in slow motion.
24:17 - No sense of a ref's boot.
24:18 - This is crazy.
24:19 - What the hell is he doing?
24:20 - Get on your knees and do something.
24:22 - Guys, I'm here with Rico Bosco.
24:24 Rico, can you describe your attitude
24:26 and what your responsibilities are right now?
24:28 - Well, it's taking a bit of a knock.
24:30 No names, but maybe a guy from Florida
24:32 who got hired recently spilled the beer and had a big laugh,
24:36 so the mop is now compromised, a lot of liquid.
24:38 So that gets flustered.
24:39 It was doing pretty good till this spill.
24:41 Maybe it's Nicky Spills, not Nicky Smokes.
24:43 - Thank you, boss.
24:47 I didn't do it on purpose.
24:52 - Did you get another mop?
24:55 - No.
24:56 - No?
24:58 - No.
24:58 - I switched out a half time.
25:00 - One of the top two mop guys in here.
25:01 What are you seeing out there?
25:04 - Seeing a lot of sweat.
25:05 Seeing a lot of wet spots on the court.
25:07 Trying to keep it dry, I don't want nobody to get hurt.
25:09 - You're a top two mop guy, but are you two or are you one?
25:13 - Oh, come on.
25:14 Top two and I ain't two, one.
25:16 - I saw you changed out your mop at halftime.
25:19 I noticed Rico did not change out his mop at halftime.
25:21 Why did you decide to change your mop out?
25:23 - Very simple, I'm a professional.
25:24 This is what I do.
25:25 Change out the mop at halftime.
25:27 I keep my mop dry at all times.
25:29 Rico, he doesn't do those type of things.
25:31 - Back to you guys.
25:33 - Oh, mama mia.
25:34 - Dave's talking Italian now.
25:38 (laughing)
25:40 - This is something that you don't expect,
25:43 but this is like tough to watch.
25:45 This is not fun.
25:47 - Water, water.
25:50 - They don't want water, they got their own water.
25:53 They got their own water.
25:55 - Honestly, Jake, you may just have to carry this
26:02 the rest of the way.
26:03 - Yeah, no, it's gonna be Jake's time to shine.
26:06 - So disinterested in this right now.
26:07 - Blowout means story time for the Booth.
26:10 They can't even get the ball across midcourt.
26:12 - This is one of those things that I wish I was a part of.
26:16 - Paul Fowl route.
26:20 It's a foul.
26:22 - How's that going the other way?
26:23 - Dan just broke the headset.
26:25 - Big Pat slams his headset in disgust.
26:28 - I just went to go check and see how the traffic was
26:31 in the last episode of The Bracket.
26:32 And like one of the top comments is,
26:34 hearing Tommy Smokes with his nasally sick voice
26:36 saying dry orgasms made me nearly have an existential
26:39 crisis, like, is this a new low point in my life?
26:42 What am I doing?
26:43 God, I agree.
26:45 It's a rough one.
26:47 (whooshing)
26:49 (whooshing)
26:51 (whooshing)
26:54 (whooshing)
26:56 (whooshing)
26:58 (whooshing)
27:01 (whooshing)
27:03 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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