00:00 I think the biggest single challenge is trying not to feel guilty,
00:04 because you know you're not giving your 100% at work,
00:08 and you can't give 100% to the caring,
00:11 and something's got to give somewhere.
00:13 I'm an IT consultant for a law firm.
00:22 It's seven to eight hours a day doing my payroll.
00:27 I may do more, I may do less, depending on what I have to do to help mum.
00:32 I'm a project specialist, and I work Monday to Friday, 9am to 5.15pm.
00:36 I care for my mother, who suffers with dementia,
00:39 and I have to look after her every day.
00:41 It's a full-time caring job.
00:42 I'm a planner for a local planning authority.
00:45 We have to do seven and a half hours a day,
00:48 although with the caring role that it does get broken up,
00:51 and inevitably leads to longer days.
00:53 My work were very understanding,
00:55 and rather than logging in and out for 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there,
01:00 I used to log a two-hour lunch break, and actually only take half an hour,
01:04 and that sort of covered the time that I spent doing things for mum.
01:10 It's really hard to balance all the different roles.
01:12 Career is impacted because you're spending so much time
01:16 being pulled doing something else as well.
01:19 For appointments, I tend to use my holiday to take her to the hospital,
01:24 to any memory clinic appointments.
01:26 I get a lot of flexibility from work and from managers.
01:29 They're very understanding.
01:31 The emotional side is more challenging,
01:35 and it's just seeing somebody that I've obviously looked after me when I was younger.
01:40 Just to see that deterioration and the impact it has on her,
01:44 the knock-on effect it has an impact on me from an emotional perspective,
01:48 I can get quite upset at times just seeing her deteriorating, really.
01:54 My mother was very bad with arthritis and various other things.
01:59 She couldn't do anything for herself.
02:01 I had to take her to the toilet, make her drinks, make her meals,
02:05 make sure she had everything to hand.
02:06 Balancing that time out and finding time for work, very, very stressful.
02:13 Knowing that you're keeping her out of a home obviously is the most rewarding,
02:18 but other than that, it's the little things.
02:21 When I creased her up with laughter with something,
02:24 or if I'd been out working and thought, "Oh, that's a fantastic view,"
02:28 and I'd come home and show her those photos, that was really rewarding.
02:34 Seeing somebody smile when you turn up because they felt lonely,
02:37 or they're relieved because you're going to sort the problem out that they've got that day.
02:41 Just being there with her, having the time with her, whatever time I've got left,
02:44 to just be able to chat, she deserves that
02:47 after the time she put into me when I was a youngster.
02:51 [Music]
02:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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