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Keylon Theus-Landory
  • 5 months ago

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Transcript
00:00Cooter was a worthless piece of trailer trash if he cared about anything it was
00:13booze guns and his welfare check but before Cooter got too drunk there was
00:24work to do it gets cold around here at night and he needed to hit the wood
00:29splitter for some fuel make that fool he was so trashed he broke his arm instead
00:45I've worked around heavy equipment most of my life a log split is probably one of
00:50the most dangerous some of these wood splitters they're putting out 10 15 20
00:54PSI right there at the tip you like getting your arm run over by a m1 Abrams
00:59tank Cooter saw himself as one of them red-blooded American do-it-yourselfers
01:05and he wasn't about to waste any hard-earned government welfare money on a
01:09doctor it's a work of art a month later Cooter was ready to cut off his homemade
01:18cast he brought over his favorite illegitimate daughter Tammy to help see
01:24this thing here yeah there's a doctor what what are you doing we're going to
01:29take this thing off I need you to hold it
01:32Cooter had a thing for power tools if he broke his arm with a log splitter might as
01:37well use a table saw to remove the cast
01:49redneck God smiled down upon the useless drunk see that told you I was fine and then
01:55they pulled his plug when Cooter decided to play doctor he made two mistakes one he
02:08didn't set the bone properly and two he made the cast too tight when he took it
02:14off fat globules that were leaking from the marrow of his broken bone were
02:19finally released back into his bloodstream they went straight to his heart and
02:23caused the fatal embolism the only thing to say about Cooter he was a
02:31worthless mean-spirited drunk
02:33y'all don't come back now here
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