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kenith
  • 17 hours ago
Complete story recap and breakdown for The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.

What happens when Donald Trump enters Middle-earth and completely ruins The Lord of the Rings? From the Fellowship of the Ring to the Battle of Helm's Deep and the final war for Middle-earth, Trump somehow manages to get involved in every major event. Armed with his questionable wisdom, terrible spells, a very loyal donkey, and absolutely no understanding of how Middle-earth works, he joins Gandalf, Aragorn, Frodo, Sam, and the rest of the Fellowship on the most ridiculous adventure imaginable. **All three movies. One complete adventure.** 🎬 **TRUMP RUINS THE LORD OF THE RINGS – THE COMPLETE TRILOGY** Featuring: - The Fellowship of the Ring - The Two Towers - The Return of the King This is the complete fan-made AI parody, combining the entire trilogy into one continuous adventure. Every sc

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Transcript
00:00hey kid get off this cart i'm not a kid i'm a hobbit whatever it doesn't matter you old man
00:05drive me to the town what kind of party is this it's my 111th birthday congratulations little
00:10man you've aged well are you two out of your minds pulling a stunt like this
00:16dear bagginses and boffins welcome to my 111th birthday excuse me bilbo this place is incredible
00:21the shire is so cool the best and the hospitality tremendous the friendliest people we're going to
00:26make the shire great again what is going on here frodo take the ring in your hand i'll take that
00:31ring old man are you frodo you fool okay okay relax
00:39strange markings are appearing on the ring you can't even read that gandalf explain this nonsense
00:44this is the one ring forged by the dark lord it holds the power to control middle earth
00:49gandalf what do we do now can i have the ring i'm the best believe me ha never like the
00:54old man said
00:55you two are going to that one tavern now i forget the name the prancing pony yeah maybe i don't
01:00care
01:00if i take one more step i'll be further from home than i've ever been don't be such a weakling
01:04sam
01:05push forward loser nazgul the worst get out of here you're fired hobbits run run like hell
01:12hey you make way it's freezing out here and we're all soaked what are you staring at everyone for
01:18are you a stalker or something
01:24are the ring wraiths servants of sauron neither living nor dead what a bunch of nonsense those
01:29guys are total losers i've had enough of waiting for gandalf i'm gonna get the old man myself are
01:33you kidding me sipping wine while everyone's waiting hurry up trump go back i'll come when i'm ready
01:39sauron it's donald i'm making middle earth great again believe me you're fired
01:43where are we even going shouldn't we wait for mr donald and gandalf why should we wait
01:49trump will find the way we know what he's like he would say believe me it will be tremendous
01:54i am the best pathfinder tremendous pathfinder nobody better nobody knows for us like i do huge
02:03you weaklings will clear the cellar so we can breed the orphank hooligans immediately master
02:08and don't forget to pack in the steroids yes my master they shouldn't end up as scrawny as you
02:14uh what
02:20tremendous i'm here to save the hobbits the best get out of here you low energy nazgill you're fired
02:24get out tremendous kick nobody kicks like me you call that a sword pathetic get out of my ruins you
02:30sad hooded guys
02:35tremendous wind coming
02:39you're fired we have to move fast we were going to rivendell good idea i'll find the way
02:46i'm a tremendous pathfinder
02:56little man get up the elf woman is here to take you to rivendell wake up frodo this is a
03:02disaster
03:03believe me
03:05stop whining i know wounds the best wounds
03:07gandalf where have you been
03:08i had a bit too much wine and woke up on the roof of orthank
03:12gandalf i told you to stop and come with me
03:15oh leave me alone
03:16elrond saruman has betrayed us he's breeding orc hooligans to seize the ring
03:20then the ring cannot remain here
03:22this is an impressive place believe me
03:24come on frodo the meeting with agent smith is about to start
03:27agent smith very well
03:28the ring is not safe here it must be taken back to mordor and destroyed in mount doom
03:32one of you must do this
03:34this ring is a gift it would be utterly foolish to destroy it willingly
03:37ned stark shut your mouth
03:38swing your ass back to your chair
03:40my name is boromir who are you
03:42doesn't matter sit down
03:43nine companions
03:44elrond are you too dumb to count
03:46there are ten
03:47so be it
03:49you shall be the fellowship of the ring
04:05winter is coming but not for me
04:08ned stark you shouldn't always be thinking about stealing this ring
04:11gandalf it's fucking cold out here
04:13we should take the dead mines
04:14yes the dead mines
04:16you will capture the halflings for me
04:19and if you succeed you can make trump pay for that kick in the ass
04:22yes
04:29gandalf didn't do your pre-quest did you
04:33melon
04:35take this dumb chamber of secrets door
04:37i will shed some light on this
04:41we must face the long darkness of the dead mines
04:44be careful
04:46there are worse things here than orcs
04:50boom
04:52that was not funny
04:53we must be cautious
04:54orcs could be nearby
04:57gandalf down there
04:59a disgusting ugly creature is following us
05:01that is golem
05:02but this little weirdo should not concern us further
05:04not concern us
05:06it's disgusting
05:08wow this place looks like a group got wiped here
05:11i need a break
05:12get out of here
05:15wow that was pretty loud
05:17oh this is not good
05:18not good at all
05:20what have you done you fool
05:21we must run now
05:22what's the problem it's just a hole
05:24we can all thank trump for waking the balrog
05:27what the hell is a balrog
05:28this is a balrog
05:30this is a balrog
05:31oh shit
05:33gandalf i have a tremendous idea
05:37okay i will try
05:39trump this is a shitty spell
05:44why did i even listen to trump
05:46i find this amusing
05:48it's usually the best spell
05:49anyway the old man will figure something out
05:53not bad
05:56not bad at all
06:00no
06:01i'll be back
06:05gandalf
06:06wait up
06:07can't you see i'm taking a leak
06:08do not shout
06:09there is an elven witch in this forest
06:12whatever
06:13what are the elves gonna do
06:14they're losers
06:17how dare these pointy-eared tree-huggers aim at us for no reason
06:20where is the old man
06:21i can't see him
06:23why is everyone looking at me
06:25he has fallen unnecessarily into the dead mines into the shadows
06:28i had nothing to do with the old man wanting to fight the balrog
06:32a lament for gandalf is odd
06:34yes very sad about the old man but also very sad if i have to die of thirst here
06:40it's empty
06:41frodo do you wish to look into the mirror you will see what was what is and what may yet
06:45be
06:45hey galadriel is there any water here i'm about to die of thirst
06:48silence
06:48all right frodo let's take a look in the pensive
06:52get in there
07:07whoa that was some crazy shit
07:10i want a cool gift too
07:12but i have nothing for you
07:14that's exactly why your show rings of power is total garbage
07:18behold the pillars of the kings
07:22they should make one of those statues of me
07:26must you comment on everything
07:27yes
07:29this journey is a disaster believe me
07:31i need a break
07:32a tremendous break this is too much
07:34aragorn where are frodo and boromir
07:36it's ned stark
07:37he's trying to steal the ring again
07:39i'm going to find him now
07:42frodo you old shrimp there you are
07:44everyone's been looking for you
07:46boromir tried to take the ring
07:48i knew he was up to no good
07:50weak
07:51here let me help you up
07:53no stay back
07:56you two also want the ring for yourselves
07:59why are you talking such shit
08:00aragorn and i would never take the ring from you
08:02never
08:05the fucking orc hooligans are here
08:07don't worry they're losers we'll win big
08:09come on you orc hooligans i'm not afraid
08:12aragorn move your ass
08:16i'm doing all the work here
08:17you're weak
08:18pathetic
08:19keep fighting
08:24you fight like losers
08:27tremendous we're winning bigly
08:30boromir needs help
08:32i will save ned stark
08:37get out of my way you orc
08:38nobody messes with trump
08:41you're finished orc nobody beats me
08:48boom you're done
08:49pathetic
08:50well well look who it is
08:52i knew you'd go down you always do
08:56frodo were you really going to sneak off to morto without me and sam that's weak
08:59pathetic
09:00you want morto to swim there yourself
09:02enjoy the swim loser
09:03frodo sam and trump have gone on alone
09:06but we will rescue the two hobbits from the orcs
09:09i fear trump will join us anyway
09:11it will be tremendous
09:13is that morto back there that's the ass end of the world
09:16the way there is really shitty but i guess we have to go through it
09:18what a stupid path through these mountains
09:21frodo we should keep the ring it's a tremendous ring
09:23no
09:24look ahead mr donald morto is right there
09:26stop complaining
09:27is this it that's at least a million miles away
09:30stupid fat hobbit
09:33get away from him you loser
09:35nobody messes with trump
09:36you're fired
09:38pathetic creature
09:39why are we stopping
09:40i can smell we're being followed
09:42and i smell an unknown person
09:43we have to run faster
09:45hey elf
09:46wait up for me
09:47we were wondering when you would show up
09:51hey aragorn gimley look who's here
09:53i'm here
09:54and now we're gonna hunt some orcs
09:56trump
09:57how did you get here
09:58what about frodo and sam
10:00you don't need to worry about how i got here
10:01that's hogwarts shit
10:02besides that ugly creature is with them
10:05what could go wrong
10:06gollum
10:17let's not get too tough here folks
10:19we're just looking for the orcs who took those two hobbits
10:22we destroyed all those orc hooligans
10:24we burned them in a huge pile
10:26impossible
10:28hey wait up
10:29you can wait for me
10:31this noble donkey isn't as fast as your horses
10:34come on you dumb donkey
10:36go faster
10:42oof that must have hurt
10:44but seriously look closer
10:46hobbit tracks everywhere
10:46leading straight into that forest
10:48yeah i know
10:48you're a tremendous pathfinder
10:49you see everything
10:50that's right
10:51move faster you disgusting little creature
10:53or i'll throw you in the swamp
10:55to swim with the zombies
10:56no nasty trump
10:57gollum wasn't ready
10:58why did you do that
10:59gollum is supposed to guide us through the swamp
11:01i can lead better
11:06there are too many to just go through the gate
11:08get lost you loser
11:11if you built a big beautiful wall in the south
11:14you wouldn't have this problem
11:15what the hell are you talking about
11:17just saying
11:18these are strange tracks
11:20yes these are very strange tracks
11:22like those of a giant tree
11:23a giant tree
11:24how would you know that
11:25because i'm a very stable genius
11:26don't say anything else
11:28what do you see
11:29the white wizard approaches
11:33white wizard
11:34i already kicked his ass
11:35let him come
11:37we have nothing to fear
11:41this cannot be possible
11:43congratulations to the old man
11:45on his resurrection
11:46tremendous
11:47gandalf did you use a soul stone
11:49or a horcrux
11:50tell me
11:51after that fiasco with trump's shitty spell
11:53i defeated the balrog in single combat
11:55and got an upgrade
11:56maybe you just weren't worthy of covefe
11:58trump shut your mouth
12:00we must ride to rohan to free king theoden's mind
12:03from saruman's control
12:04mind control that's easy to dispel
12:05nobody does it better
12:06you must surrender your weapons
12:08or you will not see the king
12:09let us in
12:10or you'll get the ass kicking of your life
12:13i ordered the old man to surrender his staff
12:15you better be very quiet now
12:19you have no power here old man
12:22yes i know i have no power here
12:24saruman
12:25get the hell out of the king's spirit
12:28trump you will pay for this
12:32well that wasn't too bad
12:34yeah i know it's not the first dark wizard i've taken down
12:39my face still hurts
12:41you're welcome
12:41now deal with it
12:43you should get it together now
12:44i'm really screwed now
12:46so now to you my little slimy friend
12:51you must fight saruman and his army of orc hooligans or rohan will be overrun
12:55we will go to helm's dip and seek refuge there
12:57wait a minute did i hear that right we're supposed to hide in this shabby fortress instead of kicking the
13:01orcs asses
13:02unfortunately you heard correctly i can't understand it either
13:04pathetic we should be winning bigly
13:07aragorn i will ride out and fetch reinforcements
13:10all right let's go then
13:11no trump you will stay here i go alone
13:14fine i'll go check on frodo and sam in the meantime
13:16hi clear the path
13:18best donkey tremendous we're riding to victory
13:20they will flee to helm's deep
13:22and they will have a powerful unknown companion with them
13:26do you mean that trump
13:28this arrogant busybody will see what he gets
13:30so what did i miss is that ugly freak still with you
13:35ah there he is
13:37keep moving
13:38golem hates trump
13:39but trump is not so bad my precious
13:42he always shouts at golem says he knows the way better
13:44he says i know the way the best way believe me
13:47yes that is annoying sometimes
13:48we must do something
13:51or we'll never get the precious back
13:54we promise to serve the master
13:56smegol is an idiot
13:57do you think i'm stupid
13:59i heard all this shit
14:01if you betray me
14:02or frodo and sam
14:03i'll throw you into mount doom myself
14:05take a look at these nasty people
14:08and i can only repeat it
14:10a big beautiful wall would have prevented this
14:13all right i'm gonna disappear for a minute
14:15you hobbits don't do anything stupid
14:17i mean it
14:18no nonsense
14:19so folks
14:20anything exciting happen while i was gone
14:23yeah
14:28legolas what do you see in the distance
14:33orc hooligans
14:34i knew it the worst
14:36we're gonna finish off the orcs folks
14:39to victory
14:43no mercy for the orc scum
14:46indeed charge my warriors
14:48we're gonna win big league
14:53get out of my battlefield
14:59they're sads
15:00nobody punches harder than me
15:02where is aragorn
15:04tell me now
15:05he fell off the cliff
15:06he fell
15:07you're lying
15:08take that
15:11i've looked around
15:12this shabby fortress isn't so bad
15:14beautiful high walls
15:15but that drain grate could be a problem
15:16nonsense
15:17we are safe here from the orcs
15:18let them come
15:19well if you say so
15:24my orc hooligans
15:25march to helms deep
15:26destroy everything
15:28leave nothing standing
15:29and capture trump
15:30bring him to me
15:40guess who's back
15:42the army of orc hooligans is on the way
15:44i have seen them
15:46at least ten thousand
15:48what ten thousand
15:49we can do this
15:50the orcs are losers
15:51weak
15:52pathetic losers
15:54everything must be ready for battle by nightfall
15:56i'm taking over the defense of this fortress
15:58i am king here and i decide
15:59you have no idea how to defend a fortress
16:01i defended hogwarts against skeletor
16:02so you better be quiet
16:04what's the matter
16:05i fear we don't have enough men
16:07i have no idea how we'll survive the night
16:10don't worry we'll figure something out
16:12believe me
16:14welcome my pointy ear tree huggers
16:17you've come at exactly the right time
16:23stay calm
16:24don't shoot or the orcs will attack
16:27yeah great
16:31just great
16:32lagolas you have to take down that suicide bomber now
16:38i missed the rain obscured my shots
16:41what can you even do you're useless
16:42we're gonna win bigly
16:44believe me
16:44my sword is tremendous
16:45the best
16:46trump
16:46less talk more fight
16:48i'll show you how a winner fights
16:49watch this
16:51get out of my way
16:52see nobody fights like trump
16:55the best punch
16:56now watch this
16:57just fight you fool
16:59we're gonna win this battle
17:00bigly
17:01these orcs are weak
17:03we're making middle earth great again
17:05charge forward with me
17:06we'll make this fortress great again
17:08charge you peasants
17:09we're winning bigly
17:12the old man is back
17:14now we'll destroy the orcs
17:16this isn't the end
17:18sauron is going to be really pissed off
17:20that saruman
17:20the loser
17:21failed so badly
17:22i've got other things to do
17:24i'm out of here
17:26okay aragorn is fighting an army of hooligans
17:29frodo and sam are somewhere with golem
17:30and now i have to find mary and pippin
17:32in a stinky forest
17:33three storylines
17:34one donkey
17:35unbelievable
17:36trump is here
17:37what is this big beautiful tree meeting
17:40we need to attack saruman
17:42and his hooligan factory
17:44it's necessary
17:45believe me
17:46we're gonna win so big
17:48so easy
17:49it's gonna be the greatest march ever
18:19that cannot be true
18:21eat shit saruman
18:23i will make the forest great again
18:27trump
18:30mr frodo do you know where mr donald went
18:32no sam but he is a tremendous pathfinder
18:35and will find his way back to us
18:36and where did that stinking ugly creature go
18:38he is crawling around here somewhere
18:40hello my friends
18:41welcome to saruman's new water park
18:43the old temo wizard is hiding on the roof
18:46are you really that dumb to believe there will be peace between us
18:49you will all perish
18:53gandalf must have a plus 20 fire resistance since his upgrade
18:57give me that bow
18:58this is going straight up
19:06hail the victorious dead
19:08and let's not forget saruman
19:09very nasty wizard
19:11he died like a dog
19:12he died like a coward
19:13whimpering
19:14screaming and crying
19:15the world is now a much safer place
19:16you're welcome everybody
19:17god bless rohan
19:18any questions
19:19why can't trump keep his mouth shut for once
19:29eat shit sauron
19:32fool of a took
19:33i will ride to minas tarith with pippin the fool
19:36oh yes i want to go there too
19:37this horse stable is getting on my nerves
19:38i need some excitement
19:40gandalf
19:40don't ride so fast
19:42my noble steed is not that quick
19:44and you
19:45no prophecies this time
19:46prophecies
19:47i don't do prophecies
19:48you'd be surprised
19:50denethor
19:50war is coming
19:51you must light the beacon
19:52i know exactly what your goals are
19:55first i'm supposed to fight against the orc hooligans from mordor
19:58and then make room for the homeless loser aragorn
20:00you heard the old man don't waste my time
20:02the enemy gathers
20:03you can disappear now
20:04i've seen enough of this shithole
20:06you and pippin can handle it from here
20:07don't forget the signal fires
20:08those lazy horse people can finally join the battle that's coming
20:11where are you going
20:12i got important things to do
20:13tremendous things
20:14looks like the old man and the little hobbit
20:16finally managed to light that damn fire
20:20haven't you seen the strange beacons burning
20:22why are you all standing around like idiots
20:24two arms you horse people
20:25he's right you know
20:27he is right
20:28assemble the men
20:29in two days we ride
20:30yes my lord
20:32that's a whole lot of horse people down there
20:35tremendous
20:36not tremendous enough trump
20:37we need more men
20:38you have me
20:39no more men needed
20:42what are you staring at
20:44so dumbly
20:45i saw something back there
20:51whoa
20:52what is that ugly green freak back there
20:55mary the orc butcher
20:57the most feared hobbit in all the shire
20:59i believe you're going to kick their asses
21:01tremendous
21:03must you startle me like that
21:06yes
21:07you there
21:08what do you want
21:09you are both expected by the king
21:11the king expects us
21:12how quaint
21:12i don't wait for kings
21:13they wait for me
21:18my lord elrond
21:20agent fucking smith
21:22what are you doing here
21:23aragorn you must finally abandon this homeless loser's existence
21:27embrace your destiny
21:28take the mountain path
21:29and compel those cowardly decrepit ghost zombie soldiers to fight for you
21:33listen up aragorn
21:35that pointy ear tree hugger
21:36the little footbeard and me
21:37we're riding with you
21:38end of discussion
21:42i don't know if i really want to ride into that darkness over there
21:46trump be quiet
21:47what kind of army are you looking for in here
21:49this is just a stinking cave
21:51there's a cursed band of undead living in here who still owe me something
21:56you will fight for me
21:57that will fulfill your oath
21:59i'll handle this
22:00i'll make a deal with the king
22:01the living have no business in this place
22:03look king tremendous deal for you
22:05you're ghost zombie soldiers
22:06and fight for aragorn
22:07and when aragorn freeze them from their curse
22:08best deal believe me
22:10this is exactly how you make a deal
22:11you get the best people
22:12you make the best deals
22:13that's how it's done
22:14just like that
22:15i have to go to gondor
22:16you take these ghost zombies here
22:17and go intercept the pirates
22:18catch them
22:20why the grim look faramir
22:21got a problem
22:22no but i have seen two further hobbits two days ago
22:24frodo and sam
22:25they are traveling together with such an ugly freak
22:27on the way to minis morgul
22:28we must tell trump about this
22:30everyone flee now
22:32abandon your posts
22:33it's over
22:33it wasn't so easy sneaking into this city
22:36with all those orc hooligans standing down there
22:38you should make yourself ready for battle
22:40i'll show you battle
22:42watch this
22:44your steward is weak
22:46i'm taking charge now
22:47gandalf is handling him
22:48watch and learn
22:49we will win
22:50believe me it'll be tremendous
22:51we are going to win this war
22:53believe me
22:54the enemy is weak
22:55we are strong
22:56so strong
22:57gondor will be great again
22:58prepare the catapults
23:00and aim only for the fat man
23:02in the blue suit
23:04these orcs are so low energy
23:06watch the best swordsman
23:07nobody fights like me folks
23:09you're all fired
23:11this is what winning looks like
23:13beautiful
23:16so if they get through the gate with that thing
23:18we're really screwed
23:20i hope you have another horcrux old man
23:22these orcs are losers
23:24believe me
23:24i'm clearing them out
23:25fast
23:36gandalf i'm going down to the battlefield
23:38to help the captain of the titanic
23:41riders of rowan
23:42you don't need to be afraid of these giant elephants
23:44they're big but we're bigger
23:45we're going to win
23:46believe me
23:47tremendous elephant
23:48but my donkey is better
23:49believe me
23:49i'm hacking the big one
24:00witch king get your ass down here
24:01move your ass you loser
24:03you're fired
24:06frodo and sam have gone to minas morgul
24:08then i'll ride there myself
24:10i'm riding to minas morgul
24:12hey folks i'm back
24:14do we have to go through there
24:18no we have to climb that shitty mountain
24:20are you kidding me
24:21you want me to climb this whole mountain
24:23what a terrible path
24:25the worst
24:25that little grey freak should find an easier way
24:28we must keep climbing
24:30we must keep climbing
24:30this is a disaster
24:31a total disaster
24:33i'm not going into this shithole of a cave
24:36to hell with this i'm out
24:39sam why are you lying there uselessly on the ground
24:41tired while frodo and that ugly freak go into some disgusting spider hole
24:44mr trump we must go back at once golem is leading them into a trap
24:47a trap that sounds like a bad deal
24:48the worst
24:49hey big ass spider
24:51let frodo go right now or i'll rip you to pieces
24:53look at this ugly spider
24:54biggest loser i've ever seen
24:56watch me sam best punches in middle earth
24:57boom boom
24:58you're fired spider
24:59completely knocked out
25:00loser
25:00we gotta hide and i mean hide right now
25:02those orc hooligans are coming
25:04and they're not nice
25:04trust me i know hooligans
25:06we can't do a thing for frodo anymore
25:07nothing it's sad very sad
25:08but that's the deal
25:09did you even check if frodo is still alive
25:12you didn't did you
25:16you're fired loser
25:18i'm sorry i listened to golem it was a mistake
25:21thanks for the rescue
25:22you're welcome little man
25:24and now get dressed the damn mount doom isn't far
25:26he's right mr frodo
25:28that was not yet the end
25:31the battle is won
25:32but what about the ring
25:33you are right
25:35we must somehow help frodo
25:37sam and trump
25:38we must gather all available men
25:40and march to the black gate
25:41this will buy trump enough time
25:43to get the hobbits safely through mordor
25:44a bold plan aragorn
25:46it may work
25:50no wonder the orcs are always in such a bad mood
25:53living in this hole i'd be miserable too
25:55it's a disaster
25:56believe me this place is a total mess
26:01listen kid that was close
26:02i just saved you
26:03you're welcome
26:04hey sam carry me i'm exhausted
26:06i can't i'm carrying mr frodo
26:08so carry us both
26:09go on little man
26:11run
26:12finish it already
26:13don't you dare mess this up
26:15frodo destroy that damn piece already
26:18you loser
26:24i told you i'd throw you in here myself for your betrayal
26:29i can't go on but at least that damn ring is finally destroyed
26:34so how the hell do we get out of here
26:35this doesn't look good for any of us
26:38well i guess this is the end
26:41i'm so proud of you two
26:42are you fucking serious
26:45you could have called the giant eagles the whole damn time
26:48then we could have spared ourselves the whole shitty walking tour on foot
26:57this crown believe me is tremendous the best crown
27:00i'm giving it to you aragorn a big beautiful crown
27:03thank you my tremendous pathfinder
27:18frodo hurry the hell up we gotta get going
27:21my favorite pointy-eared tree huggers
27:24except you you did nothing
27:26it's time to say goodbye my friends
27:28it has been an honor my little hobbits
27:31you keep middle earth safe
27:33i didn't rescue it for nothing after all
27:37at last the undying land's a place of eternal peace
27:40eternal so we're gonna be together forever tremendous
27:42oh dear god what have i done
27:44i'll make valinor great again
27:48man where the hell am i now
27:50where did frodo and gandalf go
27:51okay folks here i come

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