00:00Three calls ended all this morning on the Andy Summers show.
00:03Whoosh.
00:04It's a big one.
00:05Whoosh is right.
00:06This is a tough one.
00:07Yeah.
00:07The note comes from Ida and she says,
00:10my granddaughter wants to name her unborn son after my late husband, her grandfather.
00:16But I want to tell her not to.
00:18She thought the world of him.
00:21However, I won't get into details.
00:23He was not the man everyone thought he was at all.
00:26I stuck with him for all those years and put up with it
00:29because that's what my mother did with my father.
00:31But the point is, can I tell her not to name him that?
00:35And if I do, I have to tell her why.
00:38Right.
00:38Right.
00:39Or will having a new boy in the family with his name maybe change the stigma?
00:44Please help.
00:45Wow.
00:46Ida covering all the bases here, unfortunately, because she's right.
00:49Like, if you say, honey, you can't name him after my husband.
00:54Well, why?
00:55Why can't I name him after Grampy?
00:57And nothing good comes from you kind of spilling the beans on.
01:01Like, I give Ida so much credit for clearly hiding whatever indiscretion her husband had.
01:09So much so that her granddaughter was enamored with him, you know, and wants to honor him.
01:14And so I say, Ida, let her do it and take that as a feather in your cap.
01:19Don't don't think of it as even if the even if your granddaughter thinks that she's honoring her grandfather, know
01:27that she's really honoring you because you made him the man that she sees.
01:32Right.
01:32And, you know, in saying something, you might collapse what so many other family members thought of this man and
01:40of the whole family structure.
01:42When you really think about it, grandparents are, you know, I know I look back at I was named after
01:47my grandfather.
01:48I'm Jeff because of my grandfather.
01:50And I mean, I know he passed away when I was 10.
01:54So I have fond memories with him.
01:56But I would be absolutely devastated, obviously, being named after him, that I found out later in life he was
02:03not the man I thought he was.
02:04Right.
02:05And and that is part of the reason why I almost say, Ida, if this is upon your heart, tell
02:12her.
02:13Because what if that child finds out by somebody somehow, even if Ida might be the only secret keeper, who
02:20knows?
02:20There might be somebody else who knows who this man really was.
02:24And he finds out at age 33, I was named after my grandfather, who was not a good dude.
02:29Like, but Andy, I was thinking I was going to feel the same way you did, which was like create
02:33a new stigma around the name.
02:35Make this a beautiful boy and and raise him to the man that was thought to be.
02:39But I also worry about what if he found out later, the son, the grandson.
02:44So I say, tell her the truth.
02:46Oh, this is tough, though.
02:49I would go with Andy's side.
02:50I'm going to take that side, Andy, because I was named after my grandfather.
02:53And he is a god to me and he will always be a god.
02:57And he probably had a couple of discretions that I don't need to know.
03:01I never need to know.
03:02We're human.
03:03You never need to know him.
03:04Do I feel bad for the granddaughter because she's never going to know?
03:08Yeah.
03:08But guess what?
03:09What you don't know won't kill you.
03:10So, Andy, I'm taking your side and I like that side.
03:13Wow.
03:14Well, that doesn't happen very often.
03:15But it doesn't matter what the three of us think.
03:18That's why we call it Three Calls End It All.
03:20It's all about your calls this morning.
