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00:14Thank you everyone. We are actually really excited to get this conversation started.
00:19My name is Katie Wilcox and I'm going to be moderating today. So we're here to talk about
00:24Arkin which is very exciting. New shoes as you can see that were made by women for women but it
00:31also
00:32represents a step forward in the direction of culture and creativity and the conversations
00:38that really need to be had that we're not really seeing on our social media platforms. So that's
00:43why we're here today with these gorgeous empowering amazing women here and we're going to let them
00:48have a moment to say why you're here and share some of your amazing accomplishments with the audience.
00:55Hi everyone. I'm Olivia Perez. I'm 24. I'm from LA but live in New York now. I started a company
01:02when I was in college called Friend of a Friend. We're an online lifestyle digital company that
01:07focuses on food, fashion, beauty, travel, music, all aimed at again having those difficult conversations
01:14but also new and engaging ones and really creating communities that aren't being created online
01:20right now. I'm also a writer for Forbes.com and I have a non-profit called System of Service that
01:26brings people together to actually put together actionable days where people are going and donating
01:33their time instead of money. So we aim to do that once a month and there's more events rolling out
01:38through the year. That's me. Amazing. I'm Addie Samuel. I'm from the Bronx but I live in LA right now
01:44and I'm a fashion stylist. I work with Big Sean, Kelly Rowland, Janey Aiko, a few others, amazing talents.
01:53I'm here because I think that as a tastemaker, as a tastemaker I give a platform of inspiration to young
02:01girls letting them know from humble beginnings you can do whatever you want to do at your own pace
02:05and I just love to inspire. So I think that's why I'm here.
02:10What's up? My name is, well I feel like this is really close to my face.
02:14Lauren Avedini is my name. I also go by Kittens. I'm a DJ and producer born and raised in LA.
02:21I'm playing Coachella tomorrow for the first time so that's insane.
02:26But other than music related stuff I run a charity based series of workshops for women.
02:34We just teach DJing to women and all the money we raise goes to local women's and LGBT centers.
02:41And it's called Power and then our next phase of it is going to be expanding to be a little
02:46bit more
02:46inclusive of just different minorities targeting different levels of oppression and intersectional
02:52issues. So everybody's identity is kind of spoken on and just the whole goal is to provide mentorship and
03:00compassion and education for every different type of identity that faces struggles in our society with
03:07the hopes that you know we'll understand each other a little bit better and find ways to
03:11help make life easier.
03:14Awesome.
03:17Hi I'm Amber Whittington also known as Amber's Closet. I first got my start on Instagram just showing my
03:23androgynous style and then I went to YouTube and my YouTube kind of took off I think just because
03:29I'm an open book and I wanted to show my authentic self and I wanted everybody else to be their
03:34true
03:35authentic self and be confident in who they are love themselves and not be afraid to show that to
03:40the world. So I do a lot with YouTube and from YouTube I do a lot of acting activism things
03:47like
03:47that and so I try to do a lot for the community as much as possible and I want it
03:52and I want
03:52everybody just to feel empowered like by their fashion their voice and know that they have a voice
03:57and you know they are somebody so yeah amazing and a little bit about me to tie it all together
04:05is
04:05I started as a athlete in high school got scouted for plus-size modeling even though I was a normal
04:12weight for my height got into that industry and really understood how young women are being
04:19manipulated to think they need to be underweight to be a value and so I started to study the history
04:24of advertising and media manipulation and how we're able to sway people on a subconscious level
04:30through media and I opened my own company called Healthy is the New Skinny which educates young
04:35people on that power and the ability to choose their health over the beauty ideal. So I have a book
04:40that just came out and I also started a modeling agency called Natural Models which represents healthy
04:46models of all different shapes and sizes and that's in LA so woo! So that brings me into my next
04:53question our
04:54first question actually because social media and image for women especially is so powerful and
05:01prevalent when it comes to your opportunity how do you overcome the insecurities that might come
05:08with image to step into your creative power yeah whoever wants to say I think that there's in my mind
05:17insecurity comes from the unknown and I think that a lot of people when they're insecure feel this
05:23competitive nature and one thing I say to myself all the time is collaborate don't compete so those
05:29people that you feel competitive with that make you insecure instead of you know sitting across the
05:34table from them try and sit next to them find something that you guys have a common ground on find
05:40something within your your distinctive industries that you can actually collaborate on and build a
05:44partnership so that the both of you are stronger together it's a lot it's a lot better to have a
05:49big team
05:50than have you know tons of people on the opposing end yeah instead of the hey it's girl power except
05:55for you because you're too good at what you do and I'm threatened so not you but everyone else girl
05:59power like there's a lot of that in women in business so how do you overcome that more I mean
06:05I think the
06:06danger with social media and just you know perspective on all of that with women is is the whole issue
06:13with
06:13comparison like we're all like oh my god she's doing great and you know what are the things that I'm
06:19not doing that
06:20she is doing and then you know you feel threatened and your self-worth deflates and you're just questioning all
06:26these
06:27things and then you know some people are trying to mirror people that they see as successful versus really like
06:33delving into
06:33themselves and finding out what makes them special and what is authentic to them and you know if they want
06:39to create a brand or they want to
06:40show something about themselves you know how can they do that in a truly authentic way versus trying to
06:47put on somebody else's clothes and be like why doesn't it fit me you know and I think something that
06:52I've learned
06:53personally is anytime like we're all guilty of that you know but anytime I tried to do that in my
06:58life from
06:59when I was a kid until now trying to fit in with people and trying to be something that wasn't
07:03me people read that you know they saw
07:06and they're like that's whack like I don't vibe with her whatever and then that makes you even more insecure
07:11but seeing somebody who's just unapologetically themselves is so much more enticing um and it makes
07:19that's in person like you were just saying so what about the people who can just pretend to be anyone
07:24that's wild isn't it great and we all know them that's the weirdest part you're like whoa I know the
07:30real
07:30life and that's not at all what's being portrayed yeah so Amber what's your take on that like how do
07:35we how do we really evolve as women and have these conversations when we're all still trying to like
07:40be someone else or look like someone else for followers and for opportunity and all this it's
07:45crazy I mean but that's why there's people like us out there that's you know that's building our
07:49platforms off of just being unique and being different and being true to ourselves and I was
07:53going to say with being like confident what we were talking about earlier I feel like knowing who you
07:59are and being confident in who you are and being able to make fun of yourself like there's no one
08:04there's nothing anyone can say to hurt you so I make fun of myself on my videos like I'm not
08:08afraid
08:09of that so like when I get some crazy comments I'm like okay I heard it before it didn't even
08:13it just
08:13rolls off me it didn't it doesn't stick because I'm like okay well that's what you think but that's
08:19not who I am and so I think that if if someone or all of us just take a little
08:23bit of that and just
08:24know that hey the internet is crazy they're gonna say whatever but it don't let it not letting it affect
08:29us
08:29because us knowing who we are and being surrounded by people that know who we are and like and you
08:34know have our backs and support us then there's nothing that anybody can say to hurt us so we
08:39can just keep moving forward instead of allowing things to like push us back do you think that's
08:43a personality trait or do you think that's like is that just you and your essence like you're that's
08:48no one can really get to you or do you think this is something some people have to work harder
08:52to
08:53learn as a behavior like a pattern for me it was both like my dad was a very successful man
08:58very
08:59strong and so I feel like he raised me to be his son you know like almost like he taught
09:04me like
09:05if anybody says anything just punch him in the nose you know like whatever but a little bit of that
09:09but
09:09since it took me so long to kind of come into who I am because of various reasons Catholic school
09:16a lot
09:16of other things it did take me a while to get there and it was a learning process and so
09:21by the
09:22time I did get there I was like what have I been doing and so that's why I decided to
09:26make YouTube
09:26videos to share that with people so I can you know help them through that process and get there
09:31quicker than I was able to that's amazing okay so now that we've got that out of there what do
09:37you
09:37think the future for the next generation of girls looks like and how do you plan to play a role
09:42in
09:42that well I'll start with that one I think the future of girls right now I think being in the
09:48year
09:49of women and being in the year of powerful girls it's so astonishing to me because I remember coming up
09:54during a time where there wasn't social media and people didn't have a platform to be so brave so
09:59I think the future looks really bright for us because I think now with social media we have a
10:05way of expressing ourselves to the public and being very vocal and standing in our truth just bouncing
10:12from that into bouncing from the last question into this one I think the future of our women our
10:17girls and where people are now are building confidence everyone's building that confidence that's needed and
10:23um yeah I just think with social media we just have a huge presence that is allowing the girls
10:28to be more expressive do you think there are any messages of confidence that are false that we
10:35should address because I think on when it comes to body positivity we see this a lot which is I'm
10:40posting
10:41this because I love myself but really there's a whole other slew of reasons why you're posting images
10:46like that that are probably not because you love yourself and so do you feel like in the fields that
10:51you guys are in are you
10:52seeing that where people are kind of copying like we said saying oh this is a trend that gets me
10:57like
10:57followers validation but maybe isn't true to the message of confidence from the inside out I think it's a
11:03personal prep I think it's a personal thing for me it's it's about training your mind you know if you're
11:09using
11:09social media as a platform to build confidence with yourself that's fine you know but it's a personal thing and
11:16I think people need to reflect on their inner self's the inner mind to remember building confidence with yourself that's
11:22fine you know but it's a personal thing and I think people need to reflect on their inner selves
11:22and if that's you posting pictures to remind yourself that you're beautiful then so be it you know you don't
11:27have to utilize the comments to judge you as a person
11:31I think like people use social media to validate themselves a lot which in a lot of ways is like
11:37yeah you know it's nice getting compliments and whatnot and people sharing things and being like you know these are
11:41my stretch marks or this is my body and like I'm proud of it whatever it's great but then at
11:46the same time I think people need to really be self aware as to why they're doing that
11:50um you know am I am I looking for this validation because I feel I'm lacking and I need that
11:57and if that's so like you need to take a step back and really like fill up your own cup
12:02yourself
12:02because it's so so dangerous to be looking outside to to anybody not just with social media but like anyone
12:10in your life trying to seek and rely on other people to validate your self-worth and your existence
12:16and your beauty and your contributions to the world it's like you need to be you know gassing yourself up
12:23that's so important to do and be able to like tell the
12:26difference between you know when you need it from yourself versus when you need it from others
12:32have any of you felt pressure to post certain types of content over maybe what you love or what something's
12:40funny to you that maybe five people agree with
12:43but they would love to see your outfit for the day or your swimsuit or whatever do you struggle with
12:48that at all of finding that balance of this is who I am and I'm going to post it regardless
12:52of what
12:52people think about it versus you know we're all trying to have a platform so that we can do things
12:57like this and we can have a voice how do you find that balance
12:59I think it's a mix of both I mean it's I think it's really important to know your audience know
13:03who you're speaking to and cater to that
13:05but at the same time I also want to build an audience that's interested in me as a person and
13:10not me following the trend of thousands of other people on Instagram so I really don't
13:15I really have trained my mind to put blinders on like I want to constantly have like this tunnel vision
13:22that is not paying attention to like the noise around me and
13:25just as like me posting what I like what I know that like my audience will engage with and actually
13:30feel impacted by
13:33so I mean whether it's an outfit or like a stack of books that I'm reading I really I don't
13:37want it to be about a numbers game anymore
13:39I don't want to sit there and be like oh
13:42this got this amount of likes and the other thing got this amount of likes it shouldn't be about that
13:45anymore if I have all these comments of people that are like what
13:48is this book you're reading or you know where can I get this that's the most validating to me because
13:52I'm impacting people
13:54and even if it's ten or a hundred it's still making a difference to them and and talking about something
14:00that's important
14:01even I think switching from negative to positive so we see people with lots of influence and they only comment
14:06comment back to the
14:08person in that talk shit you're like but all these people that gave you all this praise and like loved
14:12everything you're doing and you
14:13only paid attention to the one person that didn't like you and I think that's kind of a shift too
14:18of like being really grateful for your
14:20audience and for your engagement versus focusing on the people who don't get you or want to be there so
14:25that's been a really like helpful tool with the
14:27people that we've worked with all right great so how how important has it been for you as women in
14:33business especially in male
14:34dominated businesses to set healthy boundaries what has that been like
14:39found what kind of boundaries like any boundary as a woman in business you work with mostly guys
14:44yeah I do explain what that's like and how you put your foot down when you when you need to
14:50I feel like I walk in the room with confidence of
14:54being me as a human being I don't really walk into the room thinking oh I'm the female in the
14:59room obviously I am the female
15:00but I walk in there with the intent of knowing my purpose here so that's that's my biggest thing is
15:07just understanding your purpose
15:09so when I walk into the rooms I don't really think of what boundaries I'm not going to touch I
15:14am going to touch
15:14because I'm there with the purpose of doing my job which I know I'm good at so yeah I think
15:21that just answers me
15:22it's just coming in and and not really hone in this idea of oh I'm a female in a room
15:28just being a person that's
15:30confident in who you are and walking into that room with that certainty I think allows you to be respected
15:36because
15:36that's above all what you need and want to be respected I hope amazing I think oh a dragonfly
15:46I just think with respect to I don't see the boundaries I think that's why I asked like what do
15:57you mean by boundaries because
15:58I'm like if I feel like I'm not being respected or heard or seen I'm gonna talk even louder and
16:04I'm gonna you know lean in
16:05farther until it's noticed and until like my voice is heard and my purpose is seen especially if I see
16:14something going on
16:15whether it's to me or to somebody else around me that is just not on par with what I feel
16:23like people as humans deserve but especially women
16:25um you know I think calling that out and making sure that everyone is held accountable because for so long
16:32people
16:32haven't been and especially like with times up and me too and everything happening it's like we're not playing games
16:38anymore
16:39like I'm not gonna sit here and be quiet and watch some inappropriate stuff go down even if it's subconscious
16:45subconscious like unconscious people doing stuff that might be inappropriate like they need to be checked and once we do
16:53that then
16:53everybody's like oh let me be more self-aware and let me be aware of this other person's boundaries or
16:58let me be aware of this other person's struggles so that I can think about this before they have to
17:02check me on it
17:04amazing so that leads me perfectly into my next question which is when do you feel most connected to your
17:10purpose and why
17:12for me I do a lot of YouTube events um and which are great because I'm able to meet my
17:18audience and I feel like
17:19where I host parties or things like that that are driven towards who my following are and it's all about
17:26meeting those people
17:27like sometimes I'll be in the club or meet my people meet the people that subscribe to me or been
17:32following me for a while
17:33and I'll be in the club partying and they'll come up and they'll be like you helped me come out
17:37to my family
17:37I told everybody they accepted me I watched these videos and they have me crying in the club they're crying
17:42in the club
17:43and like that is when I know that what I'm doing is what I'm doing has purpose and that I'm
17:52fulfilling that purpose
17:52because I'm helping someone be confident in who they are and in some way impacting their lives in a positive
17:58way
17:58so it's when I'm able to go and meet my followers and meet the people that support me because it's
18:03all about them
18:04if it wasn't for them I wouldn't have a platform and because I have a platform I speak for everyone
18:09else that doesn't have a voice
18:11and that's the most difficult place to be is a position that you're in and I we were talking in
18:16the green room because I know a lot of models
18:19who are African American and are also gay and don't feel they can publicly be that way because they'll lose
18:25opportunity
18:26and they lose their source of income and so looking to someone like Amber say oh you can find a
18:31way to be your authentic self
18:33and it shouldn't affect your possibilities for work and opportunity to make money
18:39and so it's a hard position to be in to be the one who's like alright I'm gonna step out
18:44there because everyone has eyes on you
18:45but it's the people who are watching that maybe don't say anything are the ones that you affect the most
18:50so that's a really awesome thing
18:52I mean I'm already at the bottom of the totem pole
18:53right
18:54like women are already at the bottom and then you put women of color and I'm pushed further and then
18:58you put also that I'm an LGBT woman
19:00I'm at the bottom but I've learned to be comfortable in that place like well like be comfortable in uncomfortable
19:05places
19:06I know that I am there and so because of that I love coming into places and like we were
19:11talking about in the back
19:12breaking stereotypes
19:13people meet me they might think one thing before they meet me and then when they meet me they're like
19:17wow you're educated
19:18oh wow you speak so great
19:21like there's a lot of things so I love being that person so I love being different from what people
19:26you know
19:26or being the one that's different in the room or breaking people stereotypes or what they have set in their
19:32mind
19:32for who a person like me would be like and then just change the world little by little one person
19:38at a time
19:39amazing
19:40what about the rest of you and your purpose what does that mean to you when do you feel connected
19:44to it
19:45are you talking to me sorry the sunglasses
19:47we'll go down the road this is a good one
19:49just I mean piggybacking off of what she said which I love saying the term piggybacking I don't know why
19:55but you know same like I'm a very open and out LGBT woman and I'm not white and you know
20:02I'm in a field that's like 99% men
20:06and you know a world that just pushes women to look a certain way act a certain way speak a
20:11certain way and whatnot
20:13but you know to me like for a long time I was trying to figure out what is my purpose
20:17and I've been kind of navigating like oh I like doing this and I can do this for a while
20:21for work and this can be my career trajectory or whatever
20:24but once I realized like oh being that person that you know is a visible character for people who don't
20:36feel like they're represented in the world and in media
20:39is so important and I'm like if I can you know the louder my voice can get and the bigger
20:44my platform can get that means the more like little girls and boys and whatever
20:49that feel like they can identify with me who feel like they don't see like Middle Eastern people who aren't
20:54terrorists or like like gay women or whatever
20:58like female DJs and whatever like other little niche identity bit you want to talk about but I think just
21:07realizing that being open and super authentic
21:11and like this is me and I don't care if it's not like popular and I don't care if it's
21:15not what everybody wants it to be
21:18it serves a greater purpose and there's more people who are you know able to feel like who I am
21:24is okay because there's somebody else who is that way
21:26and they're comfortable and they're proud of it and I also think what you're doing for straight women being able
21:32to build careers and identity outside of sexuality
21:36is pretty fascinating to go oh you get to be credited for like doing cool shit and like being who
21:42you are you don't have to wear bodycon dress
21:43and heels in order to like get a spot on the stage you know and like I look up to
21:48that so much like I'm like yeah I want to wear tennis shoes
21:51I don't want to wear bodycon dress
21:52wear those tennis shoes girl
21:53yeah exactly like so you know like that's that's something that I've really noticed as well like just like oh
21:58you get praise for who you are and I think all women want that
22:01and so I think that's a great thing that you're doing across that spectrum thank you
22:05alright Adi
22:06yeah I feel connected to my purpose in so many different ways I mean being a descendant from Nigeria my
22:13parents are both immigrants in the Bronx
22:16we lived in like a two bedroom house with six family members and living in LA I felt connected to
22:25my purpose you know seeing my client walk down the red carpet
22:27I feel connected when I go to Nigeria and I hear people say wow we see you from here globally
22:33I feel connected because I'm inspiring so many people to believe in themselves and believe that this journey is hard
22:40but it's possible
22:40so I feel connected when I hear people just kind of when people are excited you know and similar to
22:48Amber when I meet people and they say hey I'm from Lagos and I'm trying to come to America
22:53and because of you I don't have to be a doctor or lawyer or what my parents tell me that
22:57they want me to be I can be a fashion person and I can be successful at that
23:01and then the luxury of being a fashion stylist and seeing all these amazing reviews of my clients and being
23:07on sets with Beyonce and Rihanna and all these amazing people of course I'm like oh yeah my purpose I'm
23:13connected for sure
23:14so you know it's personal I mean I feel connected all the time I'm just grateful so
23:20I think the word connection for me is like is crucial to my brand identity identity I mean my company
23:26is called friend of a friend and I've always really just found so much satisfaction bringing people together
23:33social media definitely has its downside but it's so amazing right now because we can talk to people that we've
23:40never had access to in the past
23:42we can talk to people and communities from from every single background around the world and really have an impact
23:48on their lives
23:49so you know I think it goes back to what we were saying earlier about bringing people in real life
23:54together
23:55I think right now everybody really craves that human touch again and bringing people off screen bringing people off their
24:01phones and being able to sit in a room
24:03like this and look at people face to face and talk to them and tell them about our journeys and
24:07hear their stories in response so
24:09um I really stick true to my the company name and bring people together whether it's you and me or
24:16a friend of a friend
24:17that's awesome thank you guys so much and enjoy this beautiful venue thank you to adidas and to arkin check
24:25it out and yeah we're done
24:26you can come up and talk to us after
24:29you can come up and get ready