00:00I wanted a date with a chick
00:01that misrepresented herself in photos once
00:03and that she was like fat when I met her.
00:05But I still was like a good guy.
00:07So of course, you know,
00:07I like hung out with her
00:08and I looked at her like she was a human being.
00:12And then,
00:13but then there was a moment
00:16where she wanted to go to Starbucks
00:17and she got like an extra large,
00:19like whatever,
00:21like a cotton candy frappuccino.
00:24And I wanted to shoot her in the head.
00:27It made me so angry.
00:28Did you pay for the frappuccino too?
00:31Yeah.
00:32And I was just like,
00:33I just,
00:33there was something about like
00:35when somebody's already like fat
00:37and they're eating in front of you.
00:39It's annoying.
00:41I know.
00:41I was amazed
00:42because she knew we were going to fuck.
00:43So like I've got to get two donuts shaped like pandas
00:46and two of the pink donuts Homer Simpson eats.
00:49It's like you can't rub it in.
00:50No, that's what I'm saying.
00:51Like your body's already like,
00:55it tells the story.
00:57Yeah.
00:57The body keeps the score.
00:59So if you're eating in front of me now,
01:00it's like a hat on a hat.
01:01Like stop.
01:02It's a plate on a plate.
01:03You're really like,
01:04yes,
01:04it's a plate on a plate.
01:05You're fucking f***ing me.
Comments