00:00I've been talking about abortion.
00:04I'm also talking about it.
00:07Hey, Alex.
00:08What rhymes with abortion?
00:10You're writing another song about abortion?
00:11Well, it's not a song about abortion as much as it's a song with the word abortion in it.
00:16Our love is rooted in emotional contortion.
00:19Keeping everything in proportion would be a flat out abortion.
00:23Boom.
00:24License to print money.
00:25Mm.
00:26Hey, John.
00:27Jack here is writing another song about abortion.
00:29I have ears.
00:30And they're bleeding.
00:31At least I don't have to rhyme with syphilis.
00:33That would be tough.
00:34No, that's easy.
00:35Sisyphus.
00:35Don't get all Greek on me, Jack, okay?
00:37Not now.
00:38Not this morning.
00:39Chlamydia.
00:39That's a tough one.
00:40Rhyme that.
00:42Mass media.
00:43Or mass media.
00:45See?
00:45Easy.
00:46So, Shere, I'm writing this song for Planned Parenthood and the lyrics have to be all about
00:50services and information that men can get at Planned Parenthood.
00:54Men can go to Planned Parenthood?
00:55Yeah, very common.
00:56Really?
00:57Yeah, I'm there all the time.
00:58Like, just like getting past mirrors and stuff?
00:59No.
01:00Well, what do you have so far?
01:01Well, I have, it's like a sketch, but it's really good.
01:03It's like, it's like, um, I need some advice about sex and a helping hand.
01:07Man, I need an HIV test and I could use a better plan.
01:11And it repeats, I need advice about sex and a helping hand.
01:14Okay, I need a fucking helping hand.
01:16That is disgraceful.
01:17You have a Grammy.
01:18Guys, I'm trying the best I can and this is much harder than you think.
01:23That's what he said.
01:24That's what she said.
01:24That's what she said.
01:25Jack, your lyrics stink.
01:26Like, really bad.
01:28But, it's a good issue.
01:30Don't forget to include that one out of two sexually active young people in the U.S. contract
01:34an STD before the age of 25.
01:36Ah, really?
01:37I can only describe last night as sexual spanakopita.
01:40But Planned Parenthood has all kinds of tests and treatments.
01:43I have so much to teach and so little time.
01:46How's he gonna squeeze all this info on one song, I wonder?
01:49I don't know.
01:49I mean, he's talented.
01:50He's very good, but he has no fee on Apple.
01:52Absolutely not.
01:53No, far from me.
01:53Testicular cancer.
01:55Write a song about that.
01:55Go.
01:56Every morning, he woke up and scratched his jewels.
01:59He thought he had the ball cancer.
02:01He went to the dock, because he's no fool, and finally got his answer.
02:08No.
02:09No, that's okay.
02:10Yeah, we just got word.
02:11No.
02:11That was upsetting.
02:12Oof.
02:12Yeah.
02:13I do, however, have to write the song today, and I need help.
02:16Okay, look.
02:16I will appear in your star-studded, cameo-filled, We Are The World-esque video only if I'm standing
02:22on a riser between Jennifer Hudson and Adam Lambert.
02:25Promise.
02:26John, I'm not making a video.
02:27Okay, well that's your tragedy.
02:33Planned Parenthood.
02:33If you have a penis or not, it could be understood.
02:42It's very catchy.
02:43Yeah, like STDs.
