- 2 days ago
A wild life simulator turns one person’s entire journey from birth to old age into a chaotic comedy of choices, disasters, and second chances. The video follows a full 0 to 100 years old playthrough where the character is born, grows up, dates, works, gets fired, goes to prison, escapes, rebuilds his life, and even ends up on stage as a comedian.
It starts with childhood milestones like crawling, talking, school, crushes, and family moments, then spirals into awkward teen drama, jobs, romance, money decisions, and prison survival. Along the way, the creator reacts to every absurd game event with commentary that makes this feel like gaming comedy, life simulation gameplay, and a hilarious storytime all at once. The second half becomes a redemption arc with stand-up jokes, travel, survival challenges, and a final reflection on whether life was actually successful.
If you enjoy funny gameplay commentary, life simulator games, age progression videos, and chaotic character-driven gaming content, this one has nonstop moments. It also fits searches for comedy gameplay, simulation game reactions, and long-form funny gaming storytelling.
SEO: life simulator gameplay, funny gaming commentary, age progression game, comedy gameplay, simulation game story, character life challenge, and chaotic playthrough. Great for viewers who like gaming comedy, story-driven gameplay, and entertaining life sim videos with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
It starts with childhood milestones like crawling, talking, school, crushes, and family moments, then spirals into awkward teen drama, jobs, romance, money decisions, and prison survival. Along the way, the creator reacts to every absurd game event with commentary that makes this feel like gaming comedy, life simulation gameplay, and a hilarious storytime all at once. The second half becomes a redemption arc with stand-up jokes, travel, survival challenges, and a final reflection on whether life was actually successful.
If you enjoy funny gameplay commentary, life simulator games, age progression videos, and chaotic character-driven gaming content, this one has nonstop moments. It also fits searches for comedy gameplay, simulation game reactions, and long-form funny gaming storytelling.
SEO: life simulator gameplay, funny gaming commentary, age progression game, comedy gameplay, simulation game story, character life challenge, and chaotic playthrough. Great for viewers who like gaming comedy, story-driven gameplay, and entertaining life sim videos with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00How much do you think you have in common with a random person? Really think about it. Probably
00:03not much. Maybe if you and another person live in the same country, you share some sort of
00:07nationalism. Or if you share a religion, then you guys worship the same God. Or even if you're
00:11the same gender, you probably have some shared experiences together. But one thing that every
00:14single person on earth and in history have had in common is age. Everybody who's nine years old
00:20has lived through years one through eight. Everybody who's 50 has lived through years
00:23one through 49. And God willing, most of you guys will live to 100. And so today we'll be
00:28living life from zero to 100 years old. They literally made a game on this. And I am actually
00:32really excited to play this. So they're not lying when they call this a full life simulator
00:35because we are starting off as and we can decide whether we want to be male or female. And I'm
00:40going to live the life of a male because that is an experience that I know. And I think most
00:44of you guys watching this are also loose or evolved. Could be a tadpole. I'm getting ahead
00:49of myself. Ah, so there is the egg. So I guess I have to. Okay. So we penetrated the egg
00:54and
00:54we have to get in there because we are trying to be born right now and turn into some sort
00:58of embryo. I think that's how that works. Critical hit. It was like Pokemon. I choose
01:02your baby. So I don't look like the bottom two. I would say I look closer to this guy
01:08than this guy. This guy looks Northern European and I happen to be more Mediterranean. Maybe a
01:13little bit of sprinkling and some like other stuff. So maybe we go right there with that
01:17guy. What a beautiful baby. What's your name? My name is actually going to be Sam. Let's make it
01:22Sambucha. So he goes on like a path of content creation and then he likely fails and then
01:26he's going to be miserable and poor and he's going to have a really miserable life. So let's
01:30set him up for failure. All right, Sambucha. Here we go. Parting on this. Okay. Yeah, you
01:33crawl. That's right. Going to age one. Flight year one. I don't remember much. I guess those
01:38are my parents. Babies are so easily entertained. Mom or dad. Let's make him a mama's boy. I love
01:47my mom. Okay. Crawling right over. Oh my gosh. What? What is this game? I guess that's natural
01:53and normal. I did not expect that. That threw me off big time. That's all it takes. A little
01:57bit of milk and then we just move on to the next year. That's wild. Okay. We're in for something
02:02crazy here. Doesn't really feel like that's how much I should be aging within a year, but
02:07okay. I'll accept it. Next up, we have to get our boy. Are you telling me this man is
02:12he's incapable of taking turns. So we just have to go avoid everything very tactical.
02:17So he's learning spatial awareness, which is important. All right. That's a task. So I learned
02:21to crawl. I learned to have an affinity towards mom over dad. Sorry, dad. Okay. Spawned with a shirt
02:26on. Now you're three. Can you talk at three? That's what we do here. Oh, we're standing. That's
02:31big. Vase or toy night. So do I want to be mischievous or do I want to be playful? Let's
02:35be playful.
02:36I'm going to actually keep this kind of cannon in line with who I am. Oh no, don't be. He's
02:40going to be one of
02:40those like sadistic serial killers who hurts animals. Yeah. Teach me the value of death.
02:45Teach me. I know you're eight. Look. Why is my dad like an anime character? All right, here we go.
02:52Going on to year five. I do not think five-year-olds are that big. This guy's a boozy fade
03:00already.
03:01Five-year-old. I guess I'm in kindergarten. I'm speaking Mandarin. That's my crush. Kind of looks
03:05like my girlfriend. All right, let's invite her for lunch. Let's be a little stud. Five-year-old.
03:08I feel like when I was five, I was making moves. Can somebody please decipher what was said right
03:13there? Oh, look, we're eating lunch together. That's very nice. I do not believe my guy is five,
03:16but she seems to like me. So now here we are. We're six. Year six. What? How did my toilet
03:23get
03:23that dirty? So I have to clean this toilet? How does it even get to that state? Who is like
03:28using this
03:29bathroom? I don't even know what you could possibly do. Like why is there little rust and poop on the
03:33back
03:33of this toilet? Oh my gosh. Six years old. I'm already being put to work. Sounds about right.
03:38No, we're not done. We're getting this 100%. Won't be not in my household. I live here too. So guess
03:43what? We're going to keep it squeaky clean. Look at that. You could lick it. Lick that toilet clean.
03:47Year seven. Let's see if I grow a beard now because this guy is aging insanely. Okay. So he grew
03:52pants.
03:52Got a good fit right now. White t-shirt. I feel like it's something I'd wear. All right. Year seven.
03:56We're going camping now. Oh no. That's my girl. That's my girl. Go up to them.
03:59Okay. Join them for three beads. So they want me to buy experiences. This is a, this is a gotcha.
04:06I'm going to go fishing with my dad because that's the right thing to do. There's no universe in which
04:09I'm going to abandon my father to buy in-game ads so then I can be closer to a girl
04:14who I'll probably
04:15never speak to again after school. Hopefully I catch something. Was this worth it?
04:21And okay, I guess that's worth it. We caught a salmon. We got dinner. That guy's excited. Okay.
04:26We got a present. Guess it's Christmas time over here in China. Oh, oh my gosh. Did they're tell
04:30special offer? No ads. Pay us $2.99. Okay. Here we go. Year eight. Excited for this one. This is
04:36an
04:36important year. Tag everyone. Oh, okay. So let's go ahead and
04:40Wow, this guy's fast. All right. Let's get this girl first because girls are slower than guys.
04:45Got you. Got you. All right. Got you. And then get over here. Get back here.
04:49Mmm. Mmm. I'm faster than you. I'm taller than you. Gotcha. All right. Year nine. So now I'm the tag
04:55master at school. I got the finesse. All the girls like me. This is big. All right. So it's Halloween.
05:00My guy has an age since year five. Is there a banana or a clown in there? Should we give
05:04him trauma early?
05:06Well, why is there a banana in there? I think that's even more traumatic. Let's go clown. Oh, I'm dressing
05:10up as a clown.
05:11Oh, that's fun. Okay. Let's see. What do my friends think? Oh my gosh. Me and my girl are...
05:15Yes. And it's my crush. Oh, we're in America. Why did I think we were Chinese? I guess I'm racist.
05:19Oh, Batman.
05:21That's definitely my dad. A billion percent my dad. And I don't know why he's showing out like that.
05:26Wait. Retry. Oh my gosh. All right. So maybe I have to dress up as a banana.
05:30So they want me to just make a fool of myself. That's what this proves to me.
05:33Oh, but she's dressed up as a strawberry. Okay. So it was meant to be, I guess.
05:36All right. Everybody's having fun now. And here we go. So do I have to avoid Batman? All right.
05:40Oh no. Is he there? Okay. Do you want to go to a nice house or a spooky house? Let's
05:44go to a nice house.
05:45You know, I'm not like really the type to kind of just cause trouble out of nowhere. Hey, trick or
05:50treat.
05:51What a joke. Okay. We're going to have to go to the spooky house. Here we go. Lead the way,
05:56big man.
05:56Show these girls that you're not scared of anything. You can protect them. You're a man.
05:59Show that testosterone. Here we go. Good costume. Thank you for all the candy. Oh great. We are feasting.
06:07Everybody had a good time. Happy Halloween. Now we're going on year 10. 10 years old. So what are you
06:12in?
06:12You're in like fourth grade. All right. So that baby is swimming and you can't do anything.
06:17Let's keep training. All right. Yeah. One hour later. Time is not of the issue here. See? And you're a
06:21beast.
06:21This is about patience. We learned a great thing today. Patience. Year 11. We are getting pretty big.
06:27Our guy hasn't really like gotten taller though. All right. Here we go. I thought that was something
06:32else coming out of there. That's kind of a dirty joke. Take that back. All right. Papa,
06:36your car is looking pretty clean. Next. Let's get up top. Did you get into a fight with somebody?
06:41Like why is there paint on your car? Reminds me of beef. That show on Netflix where they drew on
06:45his
06:45car. All right. 66%. That is two thirds. You probably don't know that yet because you're 11,
06:50but just now you're almost done. And this is a hundred percent good. Your car is clean. Are you
06:54going to pay me at least? Do I get an allowance for this? Year 12, baby. Oh, this is a
06:57big walk. I
06:58think something's going to happen. Oh, the leveling up is going to happen on the next turn. I believe.
07:01Oh, good Catholic boy. There we go. This is like me. I went to Catholic school for K through eight.
07:06A world peace. God doesn't exist. World peace. God does exist. God is very real and he's in all of
07:11us.
07:11It's a formative religious experience. There we go. Level up. Get the beard. Get the beard. Get
07:15the muscles. Start looking good. He threw on a blazer and he got a really skinny neck. All right.
07:21You're 13. Here we go. Please don't get bullied. Please don't get bullied. So 13. How old are you?
07:25Seventh grade-ish? Going into school. He has no friends. It's kind of sad. Why is that one guy?
07:30Of course he gets bullied. What are you going to do? Are you going to fight or keep walking? I
07:34think
07:34you're going to fight because you want to be... No son of mine is going to run away from danger
07:38like that.
07:40Yeah. Punch him. Look at this soft kid. Punch him again. Punch him five times. There we go.
07:45Bop. Okay. That was okay. You want to do it again? You can take it. Keep going. I think red
07:49is what I want
07:50to hit, right? Perfect. Yeah. Knock him down. Yay. Cheer it up. Good job. I don't condone violence,
07:55but I do condone self-defense. And yeah, get the girl too. Wow. What a great story. You'll never forget
08:01that.
08:01Here we go, baby. Into your teenage years. Well, I guess 13 was that. Reach your girl. All right,
08:05let's get her. Dodge everybody. I don't know why we're sprinting in the hallway. It feels like
08:09we're about to get flagged. All right, not flagged. What do you do? You get like in trouble. All right,
08:14reach my girl. First kiss? Let's go. Let's go. There we go, man. I'm so proud of you. Wow. Okay,
08:24cool. She's not your girlfriend though. You probably should have kissed somebody that's your
08:27girlfriend. You don't want to go around kissing random people. Oh no, do not make it a wet
08:31dream. Do not make it anything like that. Please. Let's keep a PG. Go to school, skip school. We're
08:35going to go to school. We're diligent. We're a good student. Okay. Here we are now. This does not
08:39look like a professor. It looks like some random dude off the street. Here we go. Oh, I'm late.
08:43Please don't give me detention. I'm sorry. I don't know what he's saying. Okay. I went to school. I guess
08:47that's an accomplishment. Oh, what is this? What are we doing here? I just didn't I just do year 15.
08:53So
08:53they want me to skip school. Okay. So we could skip this cut scene. Yada yada. Let's skip school. Okay.
08:59Ferris Bueller's day off. Oh no. My girl took off too. Why is she with another guy? You got to
09:04beat
09:04him up too. Okay. Wait, they might be my friends. Do not do drugs. That's all I ask. Let's play.
09:10Let's play. Here we are. I guess it's been a full year that we've been stuck in this forest
09:13considering I've aged Rome here. That guy's doing squats. Do not cliff jump. You know how dangerous
09:19that is? Don't jump. It's not worth it. Don't jump. It's okay. Let her down. But guess what?
09:23You're being responsible and that's the most attractive thing you could be because God forbid she
09:27gets hurt. You don't want to be the one responsible for that. You're 17. Big one. I
09:32think this is when we drive, right? Still no facial hair though. Kind of embarrassing. All right. Get
09:35off the Xbox. Hang out with your girlfriend. Aren't you interested in like hanging out with
09:39her? Look, she's clearly enraged. Don't do that though. That's not right. Don't NFL her. Don't
09:44Ray Rice her. Okay. Hug her. Give her a hug and say, look. Okay. You're right. Rejected. You got to
09:48deal
09:48with that rejection now. You were a fool. You had her. You had her in the palm of your hands.
09:51You let her
09:52slip away. Oh, 17 to 20. Big jump. So if you're 18 or 19, guess what? You guys don't matter.
09:57Let's see.
09:57Please get a beard. Please get a beard. My guy became a full man. Three years. Look what it does
10:01to somebody. Scrolling on your phone. That looks awfully uncomfortable. Don't be looking at anything
10:06naughty. No way. We're on Tinder right now. That's what you're doing on your phone. Okay. Michelle,
10:12I think you're wearing honestly like too many revealing clothes. I don't think that's really
10:16wifey materials. We're going to pass on you. I think you look a bit better, Alice. You're a year
10:21younger than I am. I don't like all this dance you're doing. It looks a little bit too much. I'm
10:24going to
10:24pass on you. I can't even joke about that. Let's just swipe away. Okay. Let's see what's up with
10:29her. Xiao Xiao. 18 years old. Blonde. Blue eyes. You're not dancing as much. So I kind of like that.
10:34I think you could be a good prospect. So let's go for you. Are you sure? Yes. Because my other
10:38two
10:39options behind do not look super enticing. We are 21. We're going to be drinking. Let's go.
10:45Bust out the booze, baby. All right. Me and my girlfriend. I wonder what happened to that high
10:49school crush. Maybe she's going to re-emerge and I'm going to have an opportunity to be
10:54infidelity. Jewelry. Oh my God. She's high maintenance. She's showing me rings. What?
10:57We've been dating a year. Buy? I don't want to buy either. Okay. Let's buy her. You know what?
11:02If she's not happy with the $100 ring, then she's not the one anyways. So let's go for it.
11:07Don't give me the Branga. Don't give me that. Good. You know what? She wasn't meant to be. You don't
11:13want a girl that's asking for a $20,000 ring. That's ridiculous. Who's going to spend $20,000
11:17on a ring? There we go. Let's get another diamond. Collect our diamonds as the guy. We're
11:22collecting. This is our year. Year 23. LeBron year. Okay. On your phone again. Don't tell me
11:27you're swiping again. Are you that lonely? Oh my gosh. You're bombarding her. Hi. Yo, yo, yo. Hello.
11:32She said no. She doesn't want to hang out with us. Let's not even text her. Is there an option
11:36to
11:36just not text her? Because it's not a good look. She's not the one for us anyways. But let's ask
11:39her.
11:39Let's be nice and say, how are you? Because she didn't answer what's up. Let's have a little bit of
11:44EQ here.
11:44Talk to me, please. Why are you being so desperate? This is not a situation I even want
11:48to be in. All right. Let's say, please respond. A la email. Get lost. Okay. Well, let's get lost
11:52then. You're going to be upset. Yep. You can throw your phone. These are mistakes you're going to make
11:56when you're young. I love that the only English he said is, oh my gosh, jump or make up. Okay.
12:02Let's make up. We don't want to. Okay. No, I did make up. I didn't click jump. No. Okay. Pick
12:07up your phone.
12:08Okay. And let's be a normal human. Step away from the ledge. No. Step away from the ledge. All right.
12:13There we go.
12:14You survived. So here we go. 23 young twenties. I guess you somehow got back with her after that
12:18phone call. Oh my God. She's a gold digger. She's a gold digger. You lost your girl to a guy
12:26with a
12:26Ferrari. And guess what? He probably can't even afford that Ferrari because did you know that 75%
12:31of people who drive sports cars are leasing them and, or they can't actually afford them. So guess
12:36what? Who's the real winner here? Me, because I'm investing all my money into an index fund. That's
12:41appreciating at 10 to 12% per year. So you're the winner, but you should find a job for sure.
12:46You should fix your haircut too. You got a weird like bowl cut going right now with like an undercut.
12:50Why are you happy? We just lost our girl. My guy is so complacent. It's crazy. All right. So we
12:54have four diamonds now. So I think we're able to make some pretty fun decisions soon. 25. We're
12:59getting dangerously close to my age. Manager. All right. So let's kiss some butt here. We want
13:04to get that promotion. Oh, Branga. You messed up. Clean up the coffee. Punch her. We don't want it.
13:12We want to live a good life. Clean up the spilled coffee. This guy's crazy. She's putting her foot
13:16on us. Oh, I just can't condone punching a woman ever. All right. This is a long walk. So maybe
13:21we
13:21just go right to 30. This would be disappointing. Okay. 27. So, I mean, this is the territory of your
13:26boy right now. So I'll tell you if this is accurate. Do we use our diamonds now? I think
13:33we should save our diamonds. And no, it's not super accurate for me to like be in this dilemma.
13:38I don't think I've ever had the dilemma of which washroom I should go into. Who calls it a washroom
13:42also? It's clearly a bathroom. Oh no. Go in the urinal. Knock on the stall. Let's knock. Maybe the
13:47guy's almost done. Maybe it's a girl. Because when you're seriously hurt like that, your injury could
13:52be worth millions. I know Morgan and Morgan does not settle for low ball offers. Justin
13:56the past couple of months, Morgan and Morgan saw verdicts of $12 million in Florida, which
14:00is 34 times the highest insurance offer. Also $26 million in Philadelphia, which is 40 times
14:06the highest insurance offer. And in my neck of the woods of New York, they saw a verdict
14:10of $6.8 million, which is 25 times the highest insurance offer. Oh, and the best part, you
14:15only pay a fee if you win. And they only get paid if you do, which means there's literally
14:19no upfront fee. That's pretty nice. And it's really not hard to do. Like, do you know you
14:23can start a claim with America's largest injury law firm in just a single click? It's that
14:27easy. So if you got injured and you're seeking an injury law firm, you can start your claim
14:30now with Morgan and Morgan at www.forthepeople.com slash Zambucha. That is forthepeople.com slash Zambucha.
14:40Big year 29. You know what they say? I don't know what they say because I'm not 29. So I
14:45don't know
14:45what happens. This is all new territory for me now. What would a 29 year old do? Ooh, so I
14:50could
14:50purchase a two. So I'm looking at two luxury vehicles. Wow. I guess he started making good
14:54money, blue or white. So we want to be as fiscally responsible as possible. So we're going to go with
14:59$100,000 car. Okay. The big 3-0. I think we're going to be probably settling down pretty soon.
15:04Hopefully. Wow. Driving without being in the seat. There she is. Guess what? You got the nice sports
15:10car. What did she think about this? Yeah. Yeah. Drive away. Yep. Drive away. We don't need her. You
15:17also shouldn't have lived your life though. Just trying to prove a point. I feel like that's a
15:20pretty weak person. So somehow we own a house now. What? Oh, it's dirty. I see. Yeah. Okay. Oh,
15:25you know what? This is kind of, this is kind of fun. It came full circle, right? We were cleaning
15:28dad's
15:29car, you know, 20 years ago or whatever it was. I think I was six cleaning his car and now
15:33we're
15:33cleaning my car. Good year. Nice. 32, 32. I think this is the family year. Nope. Still work. Hey,
15:40you. Okay. Who's, who's calling me? Get over here. My boss. All right. What do you want? A
15:45caulk machine at home stopped working. How is this my problem? Could you come over later and fix?
15:48She's hitting on me. She's hitting on me. Yes, ma'am. She's hitting on me. She's got bread and I'm
15:53completely fine with that. Let's enter. There she is. I'm here. Let's kick this off. Let's kick this
15:58off. There it is. Okay. Now be a man. Let's fix this. Let's fix this. If we can't fix this
16:03for her,
16:04why are we even here? Hopefully she makes a move on us. One hour later. It takes that long. As
16:08long
16:08as you fixed it, I won't be mad at you. Gent lawyer. I think that's good. I think we fixed
16:13it. Oh,
16:14she's married. No, she's married. All finished. Yes. She's naked. Would you mind giving me a leg
16:19massage? Oh my gosh. Where's this going? Oh, we got to give the leg massage. You need to get
16:26yourself this girl. Okay. If I watch three ads, I might be able to do this. Is that seven? Yes.
16:31Okay. So we got seven. Sure thing, boss. Do it. Do it. This is your wife now. This is your
16:35new wife.
16:35It could also be your first opportunity at intimacy. Don't mess this up. Don't mess this up. Just like
16:40the pedicurist ladies do. She's saying, oh no. Three hours. Now she's, this is like indentured servitude.
16:47Oh my God. We've been here six hours. Ah, that was great. Six hours worth. Unfortunately,
16:53it's completely inappropriate to massage your boss. You're fired effective immediately. Are you
16:57kidding me? Oh my gosh. Please say psych. Why are you excited? We lost our job. Oh,
17:04here we go. So now I'm panhandling because unfortunately I was fired because I did the
17:08right thing. Oh no. Don't tell me this is one of these cities where they enforce this. Oh no.
17:13Definitely not New York. It is illegal to be homeless. You're under arrest. Take his gun,
17:18get arrested. Let's just get arrested. Our life's going down ever since we lost our job. We're going to
17:22have a good redemption arc though. I don't think this is how it works. How does he know we're
17:26homeless? Should have pled the fifth. Why are we happy? We shouldn't be happy. There was,
17:30there was nothing good that just happened to us. It's year 33. We're going to prison. What about a
17:35trial? I thought I'd just stay overnight until I'm released on bail or something. Okay. You're
17:39saying some words. Now I'm naked. What now I'm being harassed. Okay. I'm don't worry. I don't have
17:43anything. I didn't try to like sneak anything in. Let's go striped. I feel like it's more of a
17:47statement. Yeah. He likes it. He likes it. Okay. So we're spending our thirties in prison and looks
17:51like we're going straight to 35. So hopefully we're not spending too long in here. There's
17:55still a path forward here. We can make it. We can make the right decisions here. All right. It's
17:59cold. We dropped the soap. Oh no. We dropped the soap. That's not good. Let's continue showering.
18:03We don't need soap. Soap is unnecessary. Our ancestors didn't need soap. We're good. Yep. Good
18:07decision. Honestly, really solid. 38. Is this our redemption year? This could be our big year.
18:12Find me a way out. I don't know why we've been doing like four years in jail for being homeless.
18:15Oh,
18:16the priest. God will help me. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, officer, for letting him in. Thank you so much.
18:20This is big for me. I really needed this. I need to find God during these trying times. Good. Maybe
18:25I'll see. I might get out now on good behavior. No. Why would you store that? I didn't make that
18:30decision. I did not make that decision. Okay. We just rebuilt the church though. That's great.
18:35Should I escape now? Huh? Let's see if they give me the opportunity to. We won't know. To be
18:40continued. So now we're 39. We're starting to get a little tight. We don't have many years left. We
18:45wasted a full year contemplating if I should escape here. And it looks like, okay,
18:50so we want to do this then. That one's good. Now we're going to fix this one. Yep. I got
18:55you.
18:56That one's good. This one's going to be a little tough because a little smaller. That's okay. That's
18:59okay. No problem. No problem. I got you. Good. Two more. And good. Almost there. And we are out.
19:07We're out. Escape. Escape. Restart your life. Even though they have your name and all of your
19:11information and they can clearly put you back into jail quite easily. Let us escape. Are we happy?
19:15Are we celebrating or what? Uh, is it my left or your left? Let's go left. I'm hoping. Okay,
19:20good. I'm glad that this game's illogical. All right. So we escaped. I think. Pothole.
19:25Go under. Escape. It's like Shawshank Redemption. Beautiful. Looks like a good hole to me. Get in
19:30there. Dive right in. So now we're 39 again and we have an opportunity at restarting our life. Oh,
19:35we're still escaping jail? This jail arc is forever. It's like filler at this point because we know that
19:40we're going to escape. Just make all the right decisions. You're in good hands. Trust me. I've
19:44been here before. Good. Sprint farm route wide. Maybe you need to go to a new country. I think
19:49that's what you need to do. You need some water. You're going to get delusional. Oh,
19:52some Apache folk. I think you found some native Americans. Let's run over there and maybe we'll
19:57be able to assimilate into their culture and be accepted. Oh, look. Camels. Where are we? I thought
20:01we were in the U.S. I don't think there's any camels in the U.S. All right, cool. So
20:04they gave me a
20:04little teepee to sleep in, which was very gracious of them. Now I'm 40. They say 40 is the prime
20:09of
20:09your life. Let's see what we do with it. Okay. We woke up alive. That's big. Explorer, go home.
20:14Let's go home. Let's end this. So you're telling me I still have access to my home despite not paying
20:19my mortgage, insurance, and property taxes. I'm falling in love. Oh, great. This is our opportunity.
20:26You're 41, man. We got to start. We got to start dialing in here. Switch seats with the mother or
20:30stay
20:31here. Let's switch seat with the mother. At the end of the day, if you're living a life,
20:37you want to be on your deathbed knowing that you made the right decisions. The kid can go next to
20:42you. Okay, fine. I'll retry. So clearly they want me to switch seats with the mother. Fine. Okay. Okay.
20:47Okay. So now I'm going to be just lonely forever because you have to sit next to your toddler and
20:52you
20:53should have booked it next to them. Now I'm next to these nasty guys. Can you upgrade? Oh,
20:57I got upgraded to business class. Let's go. Let's go. Huge. But now the only downside of that is that
21:03I don't have a girl next to me. All right. So I finally returned home after a 10 year stint
21:08in jail
21:08basically between all of that. Hey, just like I left it, garage open and everything. I have no beard
21:13still despite not shaving for like eight years. All right, let's walk right inside. Hopefully nobody
21:17else lives here. Just like I left it. My family died. Oh no, mom and dad. While I was gone
21:28in jail,
21:29they both passed away. Let it out, man. That's really sad. Let's, let's go inside. Let's try to keep
21:36composure just for a little bit. Just ensure that the home is in a good shape. We don't want to
21:40find
21:40any bodies or anything sus in there. Oh my gosh. I know it's sad. Wait, what? What are the cops
21:49doing
21:50here? What did I do? Oh no. Oh no. Enemy, what did I do? All right, let's retry. So clearly
21:59they want
21:59me to run away. That ending was a pretty bad one. I forgot that I'm a convict. I have to
22:03keep running.
22:04I'm a fugitive. All right, so we're kind of like halfway done with life pretty much. 43 years old. Oh,
22:10taxi. Forgot they existed. This feels more like a hotel than a motel. We'll take it. Okay, so year 43
22:17was just spending a motel. Urgent comedians needed. Are we about to take a turn? Is our life about to
22:22go
22:22on the up and up? Here we go. We got our first gig. John Wick seems to be the bartender.
22:27All right,
22:28open mic. What are we going to say? Let's rip some good jokes. What did one boob say to the
22:32other boob?
22:32You're my best friend. What is the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear.
22:43That's funny. That's actually a good joke. Two jokes and then you get off the stage. Nice and
22:46sweet. Everybody likes you. That's humor. That's humor. Here comes a budding midlife crisis comedic
22:53career. We're about to host SNL. Oh, more people showing up, including our ex. Maybe this is our
22:57chance to get back with her. She likes what she sees. We know she's a cloud chaser. My hotel tried
23:01to
23:01charge me $10 extra for air conditioning. That's not cool. What do you call a cow with
23:08no legs? Ground beef. My guy's really booking all these events now. Let's see if I have another
23:15gig. Tell me I got MSG. We got stadiums. We're going to... Oh my gosh. It's an auditorium. Let's
23:21go. Why do cemeteries have fences? People are dying to get in. Oh, they love it. The crowd
23:28goes wild. They're roaring. What's blue and not heavy? Light blue. I think that's funny.
23:36You know, a lot of this is contingent on me finding the funny jokes, so I feel like maybe
23:40I could be a stand-up comedian. Oh, here we go. Oh my gosh. Can I have a glass, please?
23:45We
23:45don't want to be an alcoholic. Our guy just... He is an actor now. Oh, Sambucha stand-up.
23:50Nice. Oh, look at that. We're selling out the Coliseum. That's insane. Paparazzi and
23:55everything. Here we go. The lights are on us. I was in jail 10 years ago. Wow. I wonder
24:03how I did. Year 48. What do you call a sad strawberry? I'm a little stumped here. What's
24:08the funny joke here? A blueberry or a grape. Is grape... That'd be like a... No. A raisin's
24:14a sad grape. A blueberry. Please like it. Please like me. Please like me. Why can't a nose
24:19be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot. Oh my gosh. He just Googled, like, knock-knock
24:25jokes, and now he's a trillionaire with a really great career. We really turned this thing
24:29around. I'm telling you. Oh no. Oh no. What? What is this? Ask her to leave. Who is this?
24:36She can't be busting in. If I give her a hug, then I have to give everybody a hug. And
24:39I also
24:39see my girl is right there. I'm going to have to ask her to leave politely. No. That's
24:45assault. Okay. But here's my girl to console me. I didn't die, did I? All right. Don't
24:49worry. Everything's good. Yep. We survived. Jeez. Okay. Halfway point. You're 50. Ooh.
24:54And I haven't aged since you're 25. So my guy's doing awesome. All right. Here we are in
24:58the airport. He recognizes me. Wow. You're Sambucha. It was I. Please tell me some jokes. What
25:04do you call a calculator that works instantly? A calcu-now? Both are pretty bad. I don't
25:09know. A computer? Wow. I guess I lost some fans. Let's retry that. I guess the funny joke
25:17there is a calcu-now. Okay. They like me again. Marriage involves three rings. The engagement
25:21ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. My fans still like me. You're 51. Oh no. Are
25:29we going to die in a plane crash? Sit tight or jump? Why would I jump? Sit tight. Why would
25:34I jump? Jumping seems like the worst possible- Okay. So I guess I have to jump. Okay. Now
25:43we're playing Fortnite all of a sudden. Why is he excited? Year 52 involves us free falling
25:48from the sky. All right. So I guess he somehow survived that. A broken man. Finally got a
25:52beard though. Oh, he sees his family. Don't worry. That could have been you. If we just stayed
25:56on that plane, it literally could have been us. Oh, we are going to die if we ask for
26:02help. So let's just do nothing. Let's just do nothing. We don't want to involve ourselves
26:06with them. We don't know the language they speak. You know, you could live without food
26:09for up to like 20, 30 days, depending on how much body fat you have. Okay. Guess my guy
26:14died. Let's retry and ask them for help. Still doesn't feel like the right thing to do.
26:17No. Don't shoot. Don't shoot. You're also kind of cute. Okay, cool. She's willing to help.
26:22Yeah, there we go. Gave us some food. Very nice people. I think we're going to marry her. That would
26:30be my guess. Hopefully we're able to marry one of these women because our reproductive window is
26:34quite low. Join the training. Let's let's just don't die. Girls don't want a weak man. We have
26:39to complete this training after one year. Watch me look like Tarzan. I'm going to be a beast.
26:43I'm going to be hunting wolves. There we go. Just like I said, Oh, look at my hair too. He
26:52Please, please tell me we married one of these women. Please tell me we married one of these
26:57women. Oh, he's thinking about his old life. Doesn't she kind of look like my ex? Stay here
27:01or leave? I think we're going to leave. Last time I paid for something, it was the wrong
27:05decision. 58. I can't believe we have no children. What do I look like now? Why do we look terrible
27:12now? What happened? Now we're hiking. I guess we're back. Is that a bear? That's a treehouse.
27:16Obviously I want to go right. Why do I want to follow a bear? When there's a bear cub, there's
27:20probably a mama bear. Let's just walk through this graveyard. You'll be fine. Remember when
27:24you were a kid? Remember, you know, 30 minutes ago when we were just having fun for Halloween?
27:29What is that? Sandwiches? Okay. So they're all, they're all looking at sandwiches. I guess
27:32you got robbed by ghosts, which is pretty pathetic. All right. I guess you survived. Something to be
27:36excited about. Okay. The other path would have led me to death at 61. So I think we're making
27:40all the right decisions. Casino. Do not be a degenerate gambler. Oh, there's a girl. She's looking
27:45at us. All right. How do we have money? All right, let's play a little bit. Oh, two ace
27:49in the hole. All in. What you got there, old man? Don't act like you're not attracted to
27:53me. Why don't you fold? How about no? How about I'm going to double down if I can? Yeah, there
27:58we go. What are you going to do about that? You're going to fold. I know it. Fold. I call.
28:01Really? Flip him over. Let's see what you got. Doesn't even matter what's there.
28:05Yeah, no. Hey, hey. Hey.
28:07Hey. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, wait. What? Do I not know the rules of blackjack? So I lost?
28:15Okay. So here comes the degenerate gambling addict. All right. Let's go all in again.
28:20Two and a seven. I got a nine. Okay. What are we playing? Are we playing blackjack or poker?
28:26Okay. So we successfully looked at her cards. Looks like she has a two and a five. What do I
28:30have?
28:30A two and a seven. Okay. So I won. I don't know what just happened. We somehow survived and
28:34we made it to 62. I don't know what lies ahead, but we made it to 62. This might be
28:38our final
28:38year. This doesn't look like there's much going on. Don't tell me I'm at the doctors. How are we
28:41doing today? So I just went over your MRI scans. It looks like you have colon cancer. Yeah. My same
28:46reaction. Please tell me there's a way out of this. You have two minutes left to live? Two minutes?
28:57Oh my gosh. He's going through his, his memories reflecting on his life. I can't believe we died
29:04at 62. Don't tell me that's a precursor for what's to come. Sorry. I must. Yeah, you did.
29:11What are you? Oh, okay. This is God. I'm not a big fan of labels. All right. Why don't you
29:15check out that hole over there? Okay. Let's see it. Should I go in? Wait, why are you pushing
29:21me in? Are we going to heaven? I think we lived a good life. I think we lived a pretty
29:24good
29:24life, at least for half the years. Hey, okay. Rip. 62 years old, net worth 53,000, career comedian,
29:32strength 65, happiness 36 years in prison, quite the life. So now we're going to see whether it's
29:36easier to be a girl or a guy. So let's say if we live a better life and if we
29:39could outlive 62
29:40and more than $53,000 of net worth and happiness and strength and those things too. So we're going
29:45to keep things one for one by choosing a white girl. So this skin tone, just so we can diversify
29:53racism away, just in case that comes into play here. So this little girl right here, let's begin
29:57our journey. Now her name is going to be Sammy Bucha because she's a girl. Sammy Booch. That's
30:04cute, right? Sammy Booch. She's definitely getting bullied in school. All right, but here we go.
30:08Excited to see what happens here. I think there's a lot of optimism coming from me because I feel
30:13like girls, they live longer than guys, don't they? Oh my gosh. What a start. Okay. Let's just push
30:19the lid. We got to be self-serving here and not expect this start. My poor Sammy Booch. Please have
30:24money. Please have money. Please have money. Please be an NFL player. All right. We'll see
30:28what kind of dad I have. Hopefully this dad is just some big baller billionaire. Oh, okay. This
30:33is where we establish some, a competitive nature. Oh no. What are we doing? Why are you, where
30:38are you going girl? Hold on. Keep, keep it chill. Keep it chill. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. First
30:44place. Hold on. We're athletes. Look at that dodge. Look at that dodge. Wait, wait for it. Beep,
30:48beep. No. Oh my God. We're losers. No, we're winners. Nice. All right. I think we just made our
30:53dad proud. So this is a good start. The athleticism is starting to show. Skip two to five. Let's see
30:58what we look like. Come on. Let's grow a bit. I know that we walk now. So that's big. All
31:03right.
31:03Five-year-old girl. Looks like one. Cool. All right. So now it's the roles are reversed. So let's
31:08see. What are we going to do during this lunch period? Do I want to sit with friends? Should I
31:12sit
31:12by myself? Oh, look at this doofus. No, I know how you turn out. I'm like Madam Webb. Like I
31:18know the
31:18future of this. So I'm going to just join the group. I'm going to stick to some friends because then,
31:22you know, like we both go to college and things get weird. Let's just, let's just leave
31:26it as is. So now I'm going down a different path. See, I think the guy should have eaten
31:30alone. That would have been best for us. All right. Dad's trying to teach me ball. You
31:33know what? God bless this man for taking me out of the dumpster. Oh my gosh. I think I'm
31:37destined to be like an NBA player, a WNBA player. Where do I want to shoot? That's the
31:41question. Green. Hopefully that means she's like enrolled into basketball now. All right.
31:49Let's collect these. Play. Oh yes. It's like high school musical. All right. I don't know
31:54why I'm playing in these clothes. It doesn't really feel appropriate. Pass it or take the
31:57shot. Am I a winner or team player? Let's take the shot. Even though I'm heavily guarded
32:01and yeah, I probably should have passed, but that's a good lesson on failure. I think that's
32:05honestly better than if I made it. Okay. We can retry. I like that they gave me the option
32:09for that. Oh no, I took the shot again. Wow. I am selfish. Hold on. Let's retry again. And now
32:14let's pass the ball. Oh, that's a hell of a pass. Huge game winning shot. We win the championship
32:27and I am just revered by everybody. That is great. What a lovely life. But let's remember
32:32the guy had a good start too. Sambucha and Sammy Booch equal starts. Okay. We got girl scouts. And
32:37if you're a girl watching this, let me know if this is your experience. I feel like this seems
32:40like a normal zero through nine for a girl. Uh, put on a show or trip her. Why would I
32:45trip her? Let's put on a show. This is like very K-pop-y. Who are we trying to impress?
32:52Oh,
32:52we got all the money. So we're rich. We're social. We're good basketball players. It looks like we
32:56have another canon event now coming year nine. Let's play it. Okay. We're visiting like Machu
33:01Pichu. It's like we're in Mexico. All right. And what do we got here? Why are we in Indiana Jones
33:06temples? How did we end up here? Did she use the money to fly to? I don't understand. Do we
33:12afford her? Let's get some enlightenment. We want the wisdom. We're young. We can afford to,
33:16you know, hear some things. She's definitely has some deep seated trauma after that. All right.
33:2011 year old girl. Let's see what you look like. Come on, baby. Okay. You, uh, definitely had a glow
33:28up.
33:29I think you're maybe Asian now. So I think we actually changed races. That's fun. Sammy Booch.
33:34Here we go. In class. Looks like a bit of a loner, even though I made sure to get you
33:38friends.
33:39Hop on Naomi. Laugh at her. Help her out. Let's be a good, we're going to now risk our friend
33:42group,
33:42but we're going to help her out. And she's going to be a billionaire. Very nice. Oh no,
33:46this park. This is where the group of friends were. Okay. Let's see if you still got it.
33:51Oh, you still got it. No, get away, doofus. I'm an independent woman. I don't need anybody like
33:55you. Get away from me. Don't talk. Mess him up. Go easy. Let's literally mess him up. We're not
34:00going easy. Why would we go easy? Literally mess him up. Dunk on him. Whatever you got to do.
34:05Oh, good. He's a doofus. You think he's going to take care of you in life? No.
34:10Strong, independent woman. That's now we're 14 years old. Okay. Meow. Oh no, there's a cat
34:15somewhere. Ooh, a cat. Something's up with its face. How about we adopt it? Let's feed it. Why
34:20would you kick the cat? Of course we're going to feed it. What? Why did we feed the cat and
34:27it
34:27turned into that? Is that, is that what happens when you feed cats? That's very weird. All right,
34:32anyways. No, get away from me. You're a doofus. No, I'm not going over your house. No, I refuse to
34:38do it. What about my choice? I thought I was the one playing this game. Get your hands off my
34:43baby
34:44girl. My daughter. No, not give her, friend zone this guy. No, not like that. It's too much. Kids
34:53don't know how to act nowadays. It's crazy. These kids just hugging anybody. Okay, let's play.
34:57Another 16. 16 seems to be the formative years of her life. Hey, Sammy Booch, want to hang out
35:02tomorrow? Honestly, no. No. Retry. Okay. So that was the wrong thing to say. So there was only one
35:08correct answer. Sure. Where do you want to go? Okay. The mall or music? Let's just go to the mall.
35:12All right. I'm not looking to risk my life with you. Okay. So this is a big year for us.
35:17Again,
35:1716. We're going crazy. So far this life, life's pretty good. And we're like a Johnny Rockets or
35:21something. I don't know how that just happened. Some magic. We're dating David Blaine.
35:30I will say that's very cool. That is, that's quite impressive. Probably should be eating all
35:34of that. Okay. That was a cute date. Holding hands in the park. All right. I like this guy.
35:38I think this guy has potential. I think he has potential. We just got to see what his career
35:41is going to be. I want to make sure that he's on the right path. Oh, valedictorian. Expected nothing
35:45less. Make sure you give a shout out to your father. Wow. 17. We are really going through it. 17.
35:5017. Jeez. All right. The moon is out. We're walking late at night. We shouldn't be walking
35:55late at night. That's not right. No, don't go. What are you doing? Stay back. I knew he was
36:00a bad influence. You can't trust these kids. You're in a rusty pool. Night swimming. He's
36:04going to ask you to skinny dip or something or somebody's going to push you in. What are
36:07you doing? Sign language? Oh my God. He's trying to steal you away. No. Refuse. Even though
36:13it's going to probably lead to some negative things, but refuse.
36:19What'd I say? Okay, good. You kept your dignity and that's important. So now let's see 18 year
36:23old Sammy Booch. Okay. She looks 30. Oh no. A little younger in the face. Looks like a Pokemon
36:29trainer. Love the pink alarm clock. So far, pretty solid, pretty solid life. She's definitely changed
36:34a bit. Driving exam. Jeez. Okay. Let's go plane. We're not trying to do too much. We're not trying
36:42this time. No, I don't know if this means that we can drive after this, but let's live life. Let's
36:47see. Make sure you speed bump. Stop. Why would I keep going? Let's stop. Let's try to live this the
36:53right way. Yep. Good job. I got to get my license. There's no time to play around here. Stay behind
36:57the bus. No, no, no, no, no. Good. Keep waiting. You don't go around school buses because you don't
37:01know if they're dropping off a kid or something. This guy's getting dangerously close to me. He's trying
37:05to tailgate me. Am I going to speed up or pull over? Let's just pull over. Let aggressive drivers
37:09pass us. Okay. We're not racing anybody. Let him get past us. See, that's why. Yeah. I don't know
37:16if that's something to cheer about, but I knew something that was bound to happen. So, so far,
37:19you are living a perfect life, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you. All right, here we go. Walking
37:23outside. Don't know. This is our house, isn't it? Oh, it's a bear. Okay. What do we want to do
37:28in
37:28this situation? Let's help it. Of course. Even though the mama bear is going to be close by. Okay. I'm
37:36happy
37:36with that. Oh, we got rewarded. Oh, very nice. This is absurd. This girl is living a crazy life
37:48right now. So far, I can already tell she's just having a much better life because her timelines
37:52are extended. Like we're doing more in her life. What do you notice? You got to go to the gym
37:55or
37:55something? No plane. We're not trying to dress sexily. That's not the goal of this. Okay. Just
38:00stay as you are. I don't know where we're going. Is this work? Okay. Here we go. We are now
38:0621.
38:07It looks like there's a path for us to reverse aging too, which interests me. Okay. Here we go.
38:12So we're with our boyfriend, rich guy. Hmm. Ignore the Lambo. You are a girl of good status yourself.
38:19You have to believe in yourself. Great decision. And we continue with life. All right. 22 years old,
38:25still with the same guy. This is good. You guys are getting serious. I like to see that. Hopefully you
38:29hop on his health insurance or something. Who is this? Is that his ex or his sister? I think we
38:35have to leave because we can't afford to stay, frankly. Yeah. What you just witnessed wasn't
38:39right. 23 years old. Let's see what you do with your very important year. If I must say so myself,
38:45you're out of college, you're working full time. Is this your, this is your roommate perhaps? I don't
38:49know. I think it is. So maybe you're still in college at 23, which is interesting.
38:54What is going on? Say sorry. Move her away. Sorry. Okay. Need some personal space. That was
39:01assault. I can't believe they would allow that to happen. All right. 24. So now we're hiking
39:05out of breath. Hopefully you pack correctly out of water. Danger or viewpoint. Where do you think
39:09I'm going to go? Let's go to the viewpoint. Let's be safe. Our goal is to outlive the guy. So
39:14we want
39:14to live to 70. Trampled. The good news is the bear's on our side, right? Because that bear gave us
39:21honey in the past. Retry. So I have to go to danger. Interesting. Okay. There's a rainbow.
39:27Wow. It looks like sometimes you want to face danger in its face. Okay. Now we're at year 25.
39:32So now we're approaching how old I am. So let's see if this is, um, let's go to, oh, if
39:37we go to a
39:38comedy, keep in mind, we're going to see the guy, AKA Sambucha, the first guy. So maybe we go,
39:44let's go comedy though. I kind of want to see what he's up to. Although we're, maybe we're a bit
39:47too
39:47young at this point. Oh, it's a movie. I thought it was like a comedy show. I don't understand
39:51how this is a comedy. It looks very tragic. Uh, she's having a good time. That's insane. I don't
39:57think I've ever laughed. Wait, she died. Oh, she literally died of laughter. Okay. So we have to go
40:01to the horror film. Pumpkin man. Let's see how scary this is. Oh, oh no. Is this a lose lose?
40:10You have. Oh, nice. Wow. What a weird 25 for you. You died laughing at a comedy movie and then
40:17you had
40:17to fight off like an ax murder penguin. Okay. Strutting. There we go. You should maybe be
40:22wearing a one piece though. Young lady. Don't fall for the lifeguard. Don't do it. Are you going to
40:26fake drown or just swim up to him? Uh, let's keep swimming. We don't need distractions in our life.
40:32Okay. He might have to actually save somebody. Okay. We're not. I guess we're going to have to fake
40:36drown and just play the part here. All right. CPR. There you go. You finally kissed him. Life of a
40:43lifeguard. Why does she have to run so much further than the guy had to go? Doesn't it seem like
40:47she's
40:47just like trekking much more? It's like she's back. Oh my gosh. You have to be kidding me. The
40:53lifeguard's cheating on you. Study or eat some cake. Okay. Wait, I guess she's still in school.
40:57Let's, let's study. We're going to be studious here. Sorry. I have to study. Can you get out of my
41:01room? Very proud of you. If he ate some cake, that's just a distraction. So now we're 28. I know
41:05all
41:05about this. Finally graduated. I guess she got like her master's or something. Do you remember everything you
41:10learned here? Yes. Of course. What is the square root of nine? Three. Okay. I'm about to ace this.
41:15Negative three. Okay. I was wrong. So just ignore me. Three I. Okay. All right. Job hunting. Firefighter
41:22or okay. Fire. It's enticing. I just, I frankly don't have enough coins to do so. Look at our girl
41:28and I'm saying ours because we've raised her at this point. 30 year old firefighter. I hope she does
41:33not, you know, succumb to any major injury from a fire. Uh, throw a life buoy or jump down. We're
41:38going to jump
41:39down and rescue the cat. The life buoy is not going to work. Beautiful. So proud of you. You're 31.
41:47Oh no. I have to make some tough decisions here. Jeez. Oh no. Save her. It's too late. We have
41:54to save
41:54her. We have to. It's my job as a firefighter. Let's restart that. So we're going to have to say
42:00it's too late. I can't save her. Unfortunately, it means she died. No, we don't share about that.
42:06That's not good. Uh, I hope she doesn't, I hope nothing happens to her as a result. Okay. I guess
42:11she's still living home at 33. Dad hasn't aged a bit. I cooked you breakfast. I mean, he's got to
42:15be
42:1570 at this point. He looks great. I think you have to eat. Eat with your father. You don't know
42:20how
42:20many more days you have with him. Oh my gosh. Don't tell me. Oh, our teammate got injured. You don't
42:25deserve this job. Let me guess. We're fired. You save a cat. You saved a person. None of it matters
42:30in this corporate world. No, don't share. That's not good. It looks like we're kind
42:34of leading astray. We have a couple options coming up. So it looks like 34 is a big year
42:38of our life. Good thing you don't have to pay for a mortgage or anything like that. Don't
42:41tell me there's a natural disaster. What are the odds of this? Literally, what are the
42:45odds of this? Under the table or beside the wardrobe? You want to go under the table
42:48because beside the wardrobe, it's going to fall on you, right? Good job. You took cover
42:51and I have a lot of paths here. Cute little chihuahua. Oh, that's the girl that we used to,
42:56you know, I used to save her from getting bullied. All right. You need a companion. So here's a pet
43:00shop. Ooh, what do we want to get? So many options. We can get a dog. We can get a
43:03cat and
43:04get a spider. Penguin. That doesn't seem legal. Of course. Penguin or golden retriever. Let's get
43:10a golden retriever. It just feels natural. Oh no. Give me your money. Okay. I'm glad we got a dog.
43:16Yeah. If we got a penguin, we'd be done. There we go. Thank you, dog. If we got a penguin,
43:21we would
43:21have been dead. So I ended up prolonging her life because I made the logical choice. This is why I'm
43:25in the driver's seat right now. You may be thinking, oh, I wish we were doing some of these more
43:28bizarre paths. One, I got to keep it family friendly. And two, I want her to live as long
43:33as possible. Why are there aliens now? Again, this life is crazy. This life she's living is crazy.
43:38Okay. They seem very kindhearted. I like their dance too. That's cute. Should I follow them? Kill
43:44them? No, follow them for sure. And who's this guy? Some random kid just spawned. All right. We're
43:49going intergalactic. We're about to see some stuff. I might be living to a thousand. We might've just
43:53unlocked some technology. All right. It looks like Saturn, a ring to planet. This is going to be a
43:57very interesting turn of events here. I might be able to age back backwards on this planet.
44:02Should I let them destroy the earth? I mean, let's think. You don't really, the only person
44:07you have back there is your dad. And I don't think you should let them because your dad is
44:12the reason why you're here today in the first place. And it's one thing if he was already
44:15dead, but he's still alive. So you can't let him go. All right. So they didn't do it. Wow.
44:20You literally just saved humanity. Do you realize what you just did? You just did such a good
44:24service to all the people living there. No, why would you kill them? They're listening
44:31to everything you're saying. They seem like good people. Yeah. You don't got to kill them.
44:34Is that me? All right. So I have to kill them. So I'm going to go ahead and kill aliens
44:37now.
44:43Oh no. Oh wow. You have like some cult leaders. This is so bizarre. Okay. So now we're 40,
44:49jumped three years and you're still on this ship. You don't think they're going to like start a
44:53coup or something soon. I don't know what's more bizarre, the jail and comedy arc of the guy or this
44:58alien arc of the girl, Rocky planet or the ring planet. Let's go to the ring planet. I feel like
45:02there's more potential for life there. All right, cool. That advances us invade or join. Let's join
45:08them. We don't want to be colonists, right? We want to be assimilators. Let's assimilate to your
45:12culture. Hello. Oh, we're all dancing. Look at that. What a fun planet. We are definitely living to 75
45:18minimum pink kitty. That seems a little in a probe. We're at like a galactic strip club.
45:23How did he get here? What? Why are you here? Yeah. I don't know. There was a flash of light.
45:28And
45:28then I don't remember much after that. I don't believe it. No, thanks. Don't tell me that I have
45:34to redo everything I just did. Don't tell me that I have to sleep with this jerk. Fine. Okay, fine.
45:41Against my better judgment. I guess it's the only way I could advance my life. You're 43. He's got a
45:46good,
45:46good pad, I guess. No. Oh. Yeah, I bet you're happy. Oh my gosh. Why do we choose to do
45:56that? At
45:56least let's start a family with this guy. Of course, he's nowhere to be found. The lifeguard. What a jerk.
46:04Oh, we have to kill him. Killing seems to be the right thing to do in all situations.
46:12Oh my gosh.
46:18Wait, what? Am I just back now into basically the city? So I got dropped back into basically
46:24the city I grew up in, but now I'm just being watched over by an alien. Oh my gosh. What
46:28a sad life. Oh, that's the actual lifeguard. Um, I think we got to strip dance, build basketball
46:36court, of course, because that's our passion.
46:40Finally, some entertainment going into your 46.
46:46Oh my gosh. What does he want?
46:50Oh my gosh.
46:52Oh, thank you. Go clean the urinal. Fine. This is so nasty. Listen, I don't stop a job unless I'm
46:59done
46:59100%. There we go. 48. All right. So we aged two years. Not bad.
47:05Oh, that's a good plan. That is a really good plan, Mr. Lifeguard. Cannon or catapult? I feel like a
47:11catapult is a higher chance of survival. No idea how they built it. Wow. What an athlete. Okay. I don't
47:21know if you could generate enough power to grow. Nice. So now you just got to shoot them all. You
47:37what is going on here? What just happened? Did you just, did you just channel the power of nostalgia
47:50and your childhood memories? You have to help them. I just don't understand how you just harness the
47:54power to kill an alien like that just from thinking about your childhood.
48:0049 is looking good on you. Now we're in this dystopian Mad Max era. What are you getting hungry?
48:05Oh no. She's pregnant with an alien baby. That's the baby I have in this series. Where should I raise
48:11them? Earth. Of course, you want to go back to earth so you can have somebody to help you watch
48:15them. I don't know what's going to happen here. I feel like this is going to be a very pivotal
48:19journey. I hope we make it out alive. All right. Do we want to take the big or the small?
48:23Let's put my
48:24baby in, why can't you go together? I guess baby in blue. Cause that will ensure the baby safety and
48:29it's smaller. That seems right. And then you're going to go in that one. This one looks messed up.
48:34I know that you're going to crash. Something's up here. You're 50. We're doing great. I think we
48:38could live to a hundred. I think it's all looking good. Duration. That's a long trip. We're arriving
48:43in 2050. It just looks like it's going to explode midair. This is what 2050 is supposed to look like.
48:50There's no shot that earth looks like this in 2050. Don't tell me it's a lifeguard.
48:58Is that my baby? Who are you? That's, that's.
49:09No. I have to protect him. This is the saddest thing ever. Oh wow. They walked away. All it took
49:15was a hug from the mom. Okay. That's beautiful. Wow. You just protected your baby right there.
49:20That is admirable. All right. So nobody's batting an eye at the fact that your baby's an alien.
49:24Church. So we're here to get you baptized. Oh, her, that's really sad. Her dad was a real one.
49:30Saddest fictional death of all time. That was an amazing man right there. Robot boxing tournament
49:35or a history teacher. We want her to be 95. So we're going to make her a history teacher. Here
49:40we go.
49:40What does she look like? I'm guessing that robot boxing tournament would have killed me.
49:43It would have gone on the other path. Oh, not bad. You're looking pretty good at 53. You can't be
49:47upset with that. I think you look great. Which planet did humans come from? Uh, let's pick. I
49:53killed your family. So let's choose you. Uh, sure. Incorrect choice. What? Which planet did humans come
49:59from? Have we asked the human? I think that's the right person to ask here. Jupiter. Wrong. Let's ask
50:04you. Earth. Correct. Very good. Which virus started a pandemic in the year 2020? Let's ask you,
50:11miss alien. Alien goo virus? No, that's incorrect. So this was definitely a post 2020 game. Ooh,
50:16crazy pig virus. That is also incorrect. Have we asked, we'll go back to, uh, Gamora. Coronavirus.
50:22That's correct. Beautiful. Moving on to 55. Who invented the iPhone? Wow. I'm really spitting
50:27right now. Let's ask you. Cause you kind of look like me. Isaac Newton? No. He invented gravity
50:33and the apple he used. Stephen work? No, not quite close. Let's ask you. You seem to be the
50:39worst student here. Steve jobs. Yes. Let's go. I'm happy that our, our guy finally got
50:43a question, right? Which search engine do people use in the 2000s? Let's ask you in
50:47the back. Poople? No, I'm guessing they want me to say like Yahoo or something. Let's go
50:50with you. Google. People did. That is correct. You are a great teacher. What's her name again?
50:55Sammy Booch. You are a wonderful teacher. So this is like her comedy hall. She's just a massive
51:00professor. Which website did people use to watch videos? YouTube? No, they're either. They're the
51:04people who forced songs on our phones in 2014. Let's ask you a little cute alien. YouTube? Yes,
51:09that's right. And if you're watching YouTube right now, if you're still watching this video
51:12and you're not subscribed, that's crazy. So I'm not going to ask anyways. Which bomb
51:15destroyed the earth? What? The big bang bomb? That's incorrect. I don't even know the answer
51:19to this. Is this game from the future? Alien goo bomb. That is incorrect. I'm guessing it's
51:23going to be like the SAR nuclear bomb. Atomic bomb. Yes, that's correct. Good job. Edgy teen. 59. We
51:28are approaching 60. Here we go. Let's play it. Oh, there's my baby. I love my kid. Such a good
51:39kid. Did he find love? Can we go on a date? Uh, duh. Can I please? How old are you?
51:45Like 15? Yeah,
51:46you can go. That's fun. Just make sure you take care of her. Okay. 62. Looks like I dodged a
51:53bullet.
51:53I could have died there. Looks like 70 was the finale on the other path. Wow. Don't peek. Give
51:59them their time. Oh, that's cute. So at least she was able to survive to see her son's wedding. And
52:05he looks so good. He looks great. It's like Majin Buu. That's okay. You sneezed. It's fine. Let's
52:11clean her off. All right. Done. Great. You go, girl. 64. So we have officially made it past the guy.
52:18We're living to 64 years old. You're telling me this wedding ceremony took two full years. What's wrong?
52:24She fell sick. What happened? I mean, you're still alive. It looks like we're heading towards
52:2864. But is this it after or is there more? Let's see what happens, I guess, in this final
52:32year. No, she's dead, I think. I think she died on her deathbed. Oh no. And she's thinking
52:37about God. Oh no. It's God again. Looks like this is your second time. You already know what's
52:43happening next. Yeah, I know. So I guess we got reincarnated. You did this last time too,
52:48I'm pretty sure. Oh wait, no. Oh yeah. Okay. Rest in peace, 64 years old and we were much
52:57poorer. Net worth of $500. That's kind of crazy. Career firefighter, strength, a lot. Happiness,
53:0370%. Years in space, a lot. All right. Well, I think we led a better life, I think, as the
53:09woman,
53:09as we did a guy. And so to that, I would say girls have it easier than guys, I guess.
53:15That's the
53:15conclusion of this video. Anyways, thank you guys so much for watching. If you want to see more
53:18content, make sure to click here, click here. Otherwise, subscribe on your way out and I will
53:21see you next time. Peace.