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Watch taskmaster hotdogwater, Season 22 Episode 7 on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:02Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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04:15Car le thing est, c'est que vous pouvez juste boirement et utiliser les sexes.
04:21Ça peut-être une petite fille.
04:24Il va du fait un petit petit petit fils, un petit petit petit petit à l'habitude.
04:26D'accord.
04:27D'accord.
04:28L'Edge, t'as des temps.
04:31Le чудot arrive.
04:32D'awindé de la tête.
04:33Je suis prêt.
04:38Oh !
04:39J'ai eu.
04:40J'ai eu.
04:41J'ai eu 9 1 live.
04:43Justin 32 sleep now. I wouldn't mind going again
04:50Paul willculate Chloe moving everyone
04:56Perfect Nina, can you beat the instant gratification of the shoe measurement? It really depends on what you're into
05:04it's my dad in
05:09Vous avez vu votre père?
05:10En puppet form.
05:12Oh.
05:14Il est très bon.
05:16Il est très bon.
05:17Il est très bon.
05:17Je vais essayer de faire ses voix.
05:19C'est assez difficile.
05:20Vous avez eu un go?
05:21Oh, Nina, stop it.
05:22C'est ça.
05:23C'est plutôt bon.
05:24C'est plutôt bon pour avoir un puppet avec vos parents.
05:27Vous savez, pour quand ils se die.
05:30Oui.
05:31Je ne sais pas si c'est bon.
05:33Vous savez, le problème est que vos categories ne suit pas ce que je n'ai pas.
05:38Oui.
05:39Ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:41Qu'est-ce que vous pensez qu'il vous plaît pour votre partage?
05:46Br'en un puppet avec vos parents.
05:47Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:51Je n'ai pas votre père.
05:52Je n'ai pas déjà fait, et maintenant, je n'ai pas encore plus.
05:54Oui.
05:55Enfin, Izzy, ce n'est-ce que vous trouvez-vous ?
05:57Vous avez-vous jamais été à la table avec votre dinner...
06:00OK.
06:01...et vous pensez, oh, je n'ai pas besoin d'un knife et un fork.
06:03Oui.
06:04Et vous openz la cutlery drawer et c'est juste jumbled et vous pensez,
06:07oh, mon dinners' getting cold et je n'ai pas besoin d'un knife et un fork.
06:11Oui.
06:12Parce qu'ils sont jumbled up avec d'un knife et un fork ?
06:15LAUGHTER
06:15Vous êtes trop desperate, vous êtes trop hungry et vous ne pouvez pas...
06:18So, I'm so sorry, je n'ai pas besoin d'un, je n'ai pas besoin d'un
06:21de votre flow, mais le cutlery drawer a des knives, forks et spoons,
06:24en il.
06:25Et chopsticks, bottle openers...
06:28C'est un jumble in there.
06:29Et puis, à l'heure, vous n'avez pas besoin d'un, vous n'avez pas besoin d'un
06:31parce que vous avez été trop stressé.
06:33Alors, je n'ai pas besoin d'un knife.
06:36LAUGHTER
06:39Because my mum has invented the cutlery plait.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:50I think it might be great.
06:52LAUGHTER
06:53We can see it in action on a cupboard door, which is its natural habitat.
06:58LAUGHTER
06:59It's absolutely insane.
07:02Right.
07:03She's patented it.
07:06LAUGHTER
07:07It's just gone up...
07:09It's just gone up the rankings.
07:11LAUGHTER
07:12OK, well, I'm going to just do my gut instinct.
07:15I can't reward Matt for getting a member of production
07:19to throw a load of chocolate onto a plate.
07:20LAUGHTER
07:21One point to Matt.
07:21Now we're in between Izzy's cutlery plait and Richard's dog.
07:26I'm...
07:27Yeah, exactly.
07:28You heard that hostility.
07:30Yeah.
07:30I think it's Richard's dog, I think.
07:33There's a gasp.
07:34There's natural gasp.
07:35Richard, the gasp was for Izzy, not for you.
07:37I'm so sorry to break it to you.
07:38You can't differentiate gasp at this difference.
07:42LAUGHTER
07:42I'm outraged.
07:44I'm fucking outraged here.
07:46LAUGHTER
07:46What the hell's going on?
07:47You're out of control.
07:49It didn't bring me instant delight.
07:52LAUGHTER
07:53You fix your black heart or you die.
07:57Two points to Richard, is it?
07:58Yep.
07:59OK.
08:00God forgive me, I'm putting Nina's dad three points.
08:04Izzy's insane plait four points,
08:06just because they're the things that gave me the most instant joy,
08:08and very clever of Chloe to tap into all of our childhoods
08:12with that measuring device.
08:13OK.
08:13That takes the five points from me.
08:14Here's five points of Chloe, Pat.
08:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:19Big fan of your dad's work, though.
08:21Pfft!
08:22Right.
08:24I require a proper task, please.
08:26Yes, got it.
08:26And this one is our take on my favourite Denzel Washington film,
08:30Training Day, which is rated 18.
08:33LAUGHTER
08:45Where's Alex?
09:08Hello, friends.
09:14All right.
09:16You don't often do character work, do you?
09:21Geoff.
09:23Oh, yeah.
09:24Wow.
09:25This is the fast train to Gatwick Airport.
09:28We will not be stopping at the Buckinghamshire Railway Centre.
09:31Oh.
09:32The exits are on the left when the train is going forwards,
09:35and the exits are on the left when the train is going backwards.
09:38Yep.
09:38The exits must not be used when the train is in motion.
09:42OK.
09:43That is the last thing I'll say about the exits.
09:46Hello, Izzy.
09:47Hello.
09:47You can open your task.
09:48Good luck.
09:49Thank you.
09:50Thank you, Geoff.
09:52Here we go.
09:53Upside down.
09:54Complete the crossword.
09:55Fastest completed crossword, or most clues solved, wins.
10:00So I'll just take the opportunity to stretch my legs now.
10:02Your time starts when the train departs and stops when it returns to this platform.
10:07If you work out the secret word from the shaded squares, you may have one more trip on the train.
10:13Just for pleasure, maybe.
10:15The train will depart in one minute.
10:16Yes.
10:17Am I allowed to look at the clues now?
10:19I would.
10:19Which Taskmaster contestant is the train named after?
10:22I don't know.
10:26Which contestant is watching me?
10:29What the hell?
10:31Which Taskmaster is lurking in the bushes?
10:33What are you talking about?
10:34What was Geoff's 20th, 30th, 30th, 40th, 60th word?
10:40How would I know that?
10:43The train is ready to depart.
10:45Get ready.
10:46I am ready.
10:48Ah!
10:48I'm very scared!
10:58You enjoyed playing Geoff, didn't you?
11:00I enjoyed the clank-clank of the metal, the chuff-chuff of the smoke.
11:04Made me feel the power of the vessel.
11:07Come on, let's have a look at their train journeys.
11:09First to tackle the cross-rail word are Chloe, Izzy and a man who genuinely completes a cross-word
11:15every single day.
11:16That is Matt Lucas.
11:18What power is this train suggesting?
11:21What is the Taskmaster holding?
11:24Oh, an apple.
11:25Tickets, please.
11:26Excuse me, can I see your tickets, please?
11:28Have you got a ticket?
11:29No, I haven't got a ticket.
11:30I don't have a ticket.
11:31Would you like a ticket?
11:32Yes, please.
11:33Greg Scott.
11:34Tickets, please.
11:38Thank you.
11:39I don't have a ticket.
11:40There you go.
11:42Oh, my God!
11:45This train will not be stopping at the Buckinghamshire Railway Centre.
11:48What animal is behind the barrel?
11:50Well, which...
11:51Oh, cow.
11:56Nina.
11:57Nina's watching.
11:58Pink thing.
11:58What pink thing is at the bottom of the bin?
12:01I haven't seen a bin.
12:02Oh, there's a bin.
12:03The train will be starting in one minute.
12:07Oh, you are a piece of work.
12:12Pink thing is lurking.
12:14Donut.
12:15Donut.
12:15Right, fine.
12:16Please, could you get the ball off the track?
12:18I repeat.
12:19The passenger who dropped the ball on the track, please retrieve the ball.
12:21They weren't on the track.
12:22They were near the track.
12:23All aboard!
12:24That's a rat, but that's not a barrel.
12:26What's a barrel, Alex?
12:27I'm the conductor and my name is Jeff.
12:29I'm so sorry, Jeff.
12:30That's so rude of me.
12:32Next stop, Gatwick Airport.
12:33All aboard!
12:35What animal is nearest Gatwick Airport?
12:38Is that a cat or a fox?
12:39Sweet Jesus, what madness is this?
12:41We're now approaching Gatwick Airport.
12:43What castmaster contestant is lurking in the bushes?
12:46Oh, is it me?
12:48Pets.
12:49We've now arrived at Gatwick Airport.
12:51Okay.
12:51There is a cafe at the Gatwick Airport if you'd like refreshments.
12:55Well, I wouldn't mind it, necessarily.
12:57The train will be departing in 20 seconds.
12:59Who's Jeff?
13:00Who's Jeff?
13:01Who do you think's Jeff?
13:02Kim?
13:03No.
13:05Oh.
13:06Oh.
13:06Oh.
13:07Oh.
13:07I bet it's and or something.
13:09The exits.
13:10The exits.
13:10The exits must not be used when the train is in motion.
13:13That is the last thing I'll say about the exits.
13:16All aboard, the train is about to depart.
13:17Please take your seat.
13:19This is trying to sting.
13:21Who is Ioade?
13:22Three down.
13:23It was an arrow.
13:24What would have happened if I hadn't got back on?
13:26You would have left your Gatwick Airport.
13:27You would have had to have flown home.
13:29Fair enough, Jeff.
13:30If there is insulting behaviour or violent behaviour to our staff,
13:34it will not be tolerated.
13:35The train is now approaching White Waltham Airfield.
13:38What animal is behind the barrel?
13:41What colour is the biggest duck?
13:42Yes, yes, yes.
13:44Don't I just think you've left White Waltham Airfield in?
13:46Sorry, Jeff.
13:48Was that...
13:49Was that nice?
13:51The tar sniper is holding a mango?
13:54We're approaching your final destination.
13:55That looks like a mango, but that means ten is wrong.
13:59That's wrong.
14:00We're now approaching our final destination.
14:02Well, I haven't finished.
14:03Plenty sotty.
14:05Tens down, please.
14:06Thank you for travelling, Jeff Railways.
14:08What is the secret word?
14:10Resets.
14:12Please disembark the train.
14:14What?
14:14That is not the secret word.
14:16Goodbye.
14:18S-C-R-E-E.
14:21Screet.
14:22Please get off the train.
14:24Well, hang on a minute.
14:24That can't be.
14:25Is it...
14:26Is it Screet?
14:28OK, you must now leave the train.
14:30The train's stopped.
14:31No.
14:31You must leave.
14:32I refuse.
14:33With the secret word...
14:35S-C-T...
14:35Excuse me.
14:36Screet.
14:37You must leave the train.
14:38OK.
14:39Please go away.
14:40OK.
14:40Please step away from the vehicle.
14:42Well, I am.
14:43Right.
14:49I'm not sure anyone's ever refused to just stop doing the task before.
14:53It's quite a new tactic.
14:54Well, I had a bee in my bonnet.
14:55I refuse.
14:56Oops.
14:58Screet.
14:58Screet.
14:59Yeah.
14:59Screet.
15:00It's fucking secret.
15:03And it's so like you to be sec...
15:06What is the secret word?
15:08And it was the secret word.
15:09Oh, it's secret.
15:10Oh, I know.
15:10I so like you too.
15:13So...
15:13Did you just see him in his room when he thought of that?
15:16Yeah, he got the shoe measurer out.
15:17Yeah.
15:19I was so sure I was right with resets.
15:23Yeah, I mean, that was way off.
15:26I was most intrigued by your relationship with Geoff.
15:29Yeah, it really developed.
15:30I think you sort of became a schoolgirl again.
15:34I know.
15:35It was quite an intimidating, naughty schoolgirl.
15:37Going, whatever, Geoff.
15:39Because also, he was in control of the vehicle.
15:42Thank you.
15:45But because those boundaries were set, I was able to play.
15:49So true.
15:53OK, time to take a break from our crossword on a train task.
15:57What's next, Alex?
15:58Sudoku on a Segway.
16:00Hmm?
16:00Word search on a wagon.
16:02Eh?
16:02Maze on a motorbike.
16:04Dr Dot on a dinghy.
16:05See?
16:06It's easy, isn't it?
16:07See you soon.
16:08Rubik's Cube on the Tube.
16:17Hello.
16:18Welcome back to part two.
16:20In a role he was born to play, Alex is a discontented train guard on a novelty steam engine that
16:25travels back and forth on an extremely limited and bleak journey.
16:32Jeff also has a loud speaker.
16:34And he's a bigamist.
16:36He's also supervising while these five passengers complete the crossword from the clues on their journey.
16:42And remember, if they work out the screet word from the shaded squares, they get to have another trip.
16:48Finally then, it's four and five across.
16:50Yes, it's Nina and Richard.
16:56Tickets, please.
16:57Tickets, tickets, please.
16:58I'd love to see your tickets.
17:00What is it?
17:03Tickets, please.
17:04Tickets, please.
17:04Eight o'clock.
17:06What's the taskmaster holding?
17:08Oh, I missed him.
17:09Did I miss him?
17:10Tickets, please.
17:13That was absolutely exhausting.
17:14We've arrived at White Wolf from Airfield.
17:17Train will depart.
17:18Exit.
17:18Seven down.
17:19What powers this train?
17:20Steve.
17:21How's it going, Ian?
17:21Very good.
17:22I mean, I think you're all amazing for sorting this out.
17:25Right.
17:26This train will be departing in one minute.
17:28What would you call that creature in there?
17:29I'd call it a mouse.
17:32What would you call it?
17:33Oh, that.
17:34In the bushes, it's pet.
17:36Arrow is pointing to three down.
17:38The biggest duck is white.
17:39We're now approaching White Wolf from Airfield.
17:41What do you call that?
17:44Do you not know what any animals are?
17:46Can I say I have extreme motion sickness?
17:48Do you want us to go slower?
17:49Just stop.
17:50Can you just stop for a sec?
17:51Just stop.
17:52We can stop.
17:53Are you going to vom?
17:54I'm going to vom.
17:55We're now breaking our final destination.
17:58Oh, no, no.
17:58Oh, God.
17:59What was that?
17:59Rat or cat?
18:01We're now at Catwick Airport.
18:03Any customers who need to vom?
18:08Can do so under the table.
18:10This train will leave in 30 seconds.
18:11We have reached our final destination.
18:14Oh.
18:14What is the secret word?
18:18The secret word is secret.
18:22Correct.
18:23We go again.
18:24Yay!
18:25This is the fast train to Catwick Airport.
18:27We will not be stopping the Buckinghamshire Railway Centre.
18:29This is the return journey from Catwick Airport.
18:32How's the dummy?
18:33It's not good.
18:34We're nearly home, Richard.
18:35I genuinely feel terribly nauseous.
18:38Tickets, please.
18:39This is amazing.
18:41This is amazing.
18:42This is amazing, you guys.
18:44This is White Wolfram Airfield again.
18:46You really need to be safe.
18:47The bin is probably not a bad.
18:49What's the pink thing?
18:50This train will be leaving in 30 seconds.
18:52I haven't called any of these things pink.
18:53Oh, don't I?
18:56We are now approaching Catwick Airport again.
18:58Train's ready to depart.
18:59We're now approaching White Wolfram Airfield.
19:01This train will only be here for a very short period of time.
19:05Please ensure you have all belongings with you when you leave the train.
19:08We are after our final destination.
19:10Thank you very much.
19:11Taking all your belongings with you.
19:13You came with this, didn't I?
19:14Why did you come with that?
19:15I was on the floor.
19:16I thought I'd need to water things as we went.
19:18Thank you, Nina.
19:19Thank you.
19:20What is the secret word?
19:22The secret word is...
19:26Screak.
19:27Please leave the train.
19:29Secret.
19:30Well, you said screak.
19:31The secret word is secret.
19:32Do you want another journey?
19:33What does...
19:34Have I unlocked some other part of the dungeon?
19:38Do the same again.
19:40All right, I'm off.
19:41OK, well, off we go.
19:50Well, what I've written down is, um, that was a tale of two very different childhoods we saw there, I
19:57thought.
19:58Absolute wonderment from Nina.
19:59Total joy.
20:00There was one moment where the camera just stayed on your face at the end and you were just doing
20:04this.
20:06You were like...
20:07You were like...
20:08You were like Michael Portillo.
20:11You had a great time.
20:12I hated it.
20:13Yeah.
20:14I was sick as a parrot throughout.
20:17It was going just over walking pace.
20:20Oh.
20:21Oh, my God.
20:22If you'd have been sick, Richard, I think I would immediately resign because I know life's not going to get
20:27any better.
20:30Jesus Christ, what a rush.
20:32Who hurt you, Greg?
20:35Do you remember how you got home that day after the filming?
20:37I don't remember the start of the show.
20:40LAUGHTER
20:40You got home on a train.
20:43LAUGHTER
20:44Yes.
20:45It wasn't a steam train.
20:47LAUGHTER
20:47Nina was the only one who managed to bag the second journey with the...
20:50Hang on, I refused a second journey.
20:52You did also say Screet.
20:53And I have to take your first answer because earlier on in the series you said how good Mastermind was.
20:58And I took that on board.
21:01LAUGHTER
21:01Izzy, you get the one point for getting seven out of ten in the crossword.
21:05Oh.
21:05Matt got eight out of ten, you get two points.
21:07Both Chloe and Richard got nine out of ten, so they share four points for second place.
21:12Nina, with her two journeys, got the full complement of ten answers correct.
21:15She gets the five points.
21:17Five points.
21:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:19And a lovely, lovely day out.
21:21APPLAUSE
21:22Very good.
21:23Scoreboard, please.
21:24Well, with nine points, Chloe Petz is in the lead.
21:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:30I think we should have a team task, please.
21:32Right.
21:32Yes, I think so too.
21:33And this one involves, in his own words, a revered Taskmaster legend.
21:39OOF!
21:41OOF!
21:52Hello.
21:52Hello, Richard.
21:53Hello, how are you?
21:54I'm good.
21:54Hello, Chloe.
21:55Hi, Alex.
21:56Hello, everybody.
21:56The team of three are here.
21:57Hi, Nina.
21:58Hello.
21:58Hi, Izzy.
22:08I recognise you guys from TV.
22:10How are you doing?
22:12Just hanging out.
22:13Been living here since 2016, when I did the series.
22:16We're here.
22:17Right.
22:18Oh!
22:18Hello.
22:19Matthew.
22:20How are you?
22:20Good to see you.
22:21Nice to see you.
22:22Richard.
22:23How are you?
22:24Haven't seen you since 1999.
22:25What happened then?
22:26We had a gig together, when you first started.
22:29I'm sorry.
22:29I'm sorry to hear that.
22:30You can open the token if you're ready.
22:32Create the greatest shrine to Paul Chowdhury.
22:35Is that Paul Chowdhury?
22:37That's Paul Chowdhury.
22:39You must all pretend Paul Chowdhury isn't here for the duration of the task.
22:43You have 20 minutes.
22:45That's long.
22:46OK.
22:46That's Alex, Paul Chowdhury.
22:48OK.
22:49But we have to not listen when he says things like that.
22:52Oh, we must pretend he's not here.
22:53Yes, very soon.
22:54You're not going to get any reaction at all, Paul.
22:56That's a bit triggering, because that's happened a lot.
22:59The greatest shrine.
23:01The shrine starts now.
23:03OK.
23:03I saw Matt Lucas in...
23:05Pretend he's not here.
23:06Oh, yeah.
23:08He's from my area.
23:10Should we go to the little caravan and see if there's any like that?
23:13Yeah.
23:14Materials.
23:15OK.
23:17There's no-one there.
23:18No.
23:20Do you reckon they're going to build a good shrine for you?
23:23I think they should.
23:24Consider the contribution I've made to British comedy over the last 50 years.
23:29How many years?
23:3050 years.
23:3150?
23:34APPLAUSE
23:39Paul's a fascinating character.
23:41I've known him for 20 years.
23:43Every time I see him, every time, the first thing he says to me is,
23:47Greg, why have you unfollowed me on Facebook?
23:50LAUGHTER
23:50And I haven't.
23:53You were unfamiliar with Paul, were you?
23:55No, but since we did that, we've been for a cup of tea together.
23:59Have you really?
24:00Yeah, we have, yeah, yeah.
24:01That was nice.
24:02How was that?
24:02We talked about Edgware, because I grew up near Edgware, and he grew up in Edgware.
24:07Matt, can I just...
24:09Can I just say, that is literally all you spoke about with him in the green room after?
24:14Yeah.
24:15Anyway.
24:17Ready to...
24:18He deserves a shrine, that's the point.
24:20OK.
24:21First up, and drawing on personal Paul experience, it is Izzy and Nina.
24:31You all right, Izzy?
24:32Yes, yes, yes.
24:33I found some wings for the ladies.
24:35Yes!
24:36For the ladies?
24:38We think I've got to give him some nice ladies.
24:41Yeah, with big, big boobs.
24:44When did you last work with Paul, Nina?
24:47Well, Paul and I were in a fantastic production in Edinburgh once, called Finding Bin Laden.
24:53I played myself in it, a Taliban warlord.
24:55But also, I was with Paul in South Africa.
24:58Don't talk about that.
24:59Don't talk about that.
25:00He had a good time there.
25:01Why, what do you mean he had a good time there?
25:03Well, he had a good time, he had a good time there.
25:05I remember he had a very good time there.
25:07Cut the cameras.
25:09Should we put some on her head as well?
25:11Yes.
25:11Boobs are all the way down!
25:13What about, he has a podcast as well.
25:17Oh.
25:17That got cancelled.
25:18I think it might have got cancelled.
25:20Oh, did it?
25:20One of them be crying, because the podcast got cancelled.
25:23But, Mike, if that's me, the arsehole is too high.
25:27The arsehole is way too high.
25:29I don't know who's got an arsehole up there.
25:31I'm going to put that that way.
25:35She's not glam enough, this thing.
25:38Should she have two vaginas?
25:40Yeah, bring it on.
25:41Are you sure Paul will like this, please?
25:43He's going to love it.
25:46Sometimes you don't really know what people think of you in life.
25:48The way you see yourself is very different to the way people see you.
25:51I'm going to make another vagina, I think.
25:53Yes.
25:53I think you'd like three.
25:54I think so.
25:55Thank you.
25:56That's not enough for Paul.
25:58Should we put a secret message in the arsehole of the mannequin?
26:02Very good now, you're really thinking, Izzy.
26:08So that's your shrine to Paul Chowdhury.
26:11So that's your shrine to Paul Chowdhury.
26:31So that's nice.
26:34APPLAUSE
26:35That'll be fine.
26:39So Paul...
26:42Paul revealed to us all that at some point in his career
26:45he's played a Taliban warlord,
26:47but you decided to focus on other aspects of Paul's character.
26:51A multi-titted woman who has three vaginas.
26:57LAUGHTER
26:59Why is that the aspect of Paul that you wanted to celebrate?
27:03LAUGHTER
27:03Well, Paul likes the ladies.
27:06Yeah.
27:07More ladies with more vaginas.
27:11LAUGHTER
27:11I don't know if Paul would necessarily want all of the vaginas
27:14on one woman, would he?
27:16LAUGHTER
27:16I think he would.
27:19LAUGHTER
27:19OK.
27:20Adverts now.
27:22Watch them.
27:22Don't watch them.
27:23I could not care less.
27:26Bye.
27:35Hello.
27:36Here we are once more.
27:38It's the start of part three,
27:39and I'm afraid Paul Chowdhury's back.
27:41Oh.
27:42Yes, he is.
27:42You see, Paul's series only had five episodes,
27:45so he's in the process of making up for it.
27:47Just under five hours of Paul Chowdhury left to go.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:51Right now, the task is to make the greatest shrine to Paul,
27:55while pretending he isn't in the room.
27:57Now there's Matt, Richard and Chloe's attempt.
28:00Should we think about Paul Chowdhury and, you know,
28:03include imagery from his life and work?
28:06That's a bloody good idea.
28:08How much do you know about Paul Chowdhury, Matt?
28:09I know Paul Chowdhury is called Paul Chowdhury.
28:11That's good, yeah.
28:13And, er...
28:14Mm-hm.
28:14I think I remember reading once that he did a stand-up gig
28:18with Richard Ayoade in 1999.
28:22I don't think Matt knows who I am.
28:24Why do you say that?
28:26Because he doesn't know who I am.
28:28What if we created, like, a burning pyre
28:31and actually put the real Paul Chowdhury inside it,
28:34like a kind of wicker man?
28:36Why don't you burn me here on the sofa?
28:39I can't hear anyone talk.
28:41Or we could get Paul Chowdhury to pop up on there
28:44and just light a couple of jostics and job done.
28:47So I like your idea...
28:48Thank you.
28:48...but I'm going to build on it and say
28:49maybe we need more than just a couple of jostics.
28:53Food is often put as an offering to the gods.
28:56To the gods.
28:56So basically we put Chowdhury up on there, jostic, jostic,
28:59and then just grapes.
29:03Is Paul Chowdhury in any way able to self-propel?
29:06Because if he's not self-propelling
29:07we're basically dealing with a dead body.
29:10He doesn't want to go.
29:12He doesn't want to go.
29:17There we go. We're up on one.
29:18Oh!
29:19Holding chair and table.
29:22So you're still pretending that Paul Chowdhury's not in the room?
29:24He's not in the room.
29:27There's a crown.
29:32And now...
29:33...we pray...
29:37...to the shrine...
29:38...of Chowdhury.
29:48Haj Paul Singh Chowdhury, better known as Paul Chowdhury,
29:51is a British comedian and actor.
29:53He is of Indian Punjabi descent.
29:58May our souls be cleansed.
30:01And that's what I'm up, team.
30:03That's not a bad Wikipedia entry for Paul Chowdhury.
30:06You've got to be pretty pleased with that.
30:08I'm going to include Matt Lucas, who's never been a fan.
30:11Yeah.
30:13APPLAUSE
30:18None of you know Paul Chowdhury, do you?
30:20No.
30:21No, no.
30:23It was a pretty glorious celebration of a man you didn't know.
30:26I was a little bit worried that you were actually going to set fire to Paul at one point.
30:30Yeah.
30:30I enjoyed you having to physically lift him, some commitment to it.
30:34Gave no help during that bit.
30:36No, I know that because you kept shouting,
30:38he doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go.
30:41LAUGHTER
30:42Now that you've had tea with Paul Chowdhury, would you do the shrine any different?
30:46I wouldn't do a shrine.
30:48Oh.
30:49No, I'd build a whole palace.
30:53He's absolutely ripped Paul Chowdhury underneath those clothes.
30:57He's become more ripped as he's got older, I think.
30:59He's 63 years of age, you know.
31:01He's not.
31:02No, he's not.
31:05Do you think the team of three pretended that he wasn't in the room enough?
31:08Yes.
31:09I felt that Paul was largely ignored by everybody.
31:12And there was no attempt to dig into his real personality.
31:16Fine.
31:16In which case, who's going to get the five points?
31:19Team of two or team of three?
31:20What was the greatest shrine?
31:21Well, I thought the shrine that Paul would probably enjoy more
31:24was the flaming shrine that included him, probably.
31:28Five points to the team of three.
31:30Four points to the team of two.
31:32There it is.
31:32There's nine points between them.
31:33Five and four.
31:34We're done.
31:36Let's have another task.
31:37Yes.
31:37And, oh, that's a wrap.
31:57This is the kind of thing I like to see.
31:59Oh.
32:00This?
32:00That.
32:01OK.
32:04Label two of these items with these stickers.
32:08So the items.
32:09There's five.
32:10Sheep.
32:11Barrel.
32:12Bike.
32:13Horn or skis.
32:14You have 30 seconds.
32:15Your time starts now.
32:17So the one, the two.
32:22So it's just your chosen items left.
32:25You may now open your present.
32:30Wrap your chosen items, then present the present so that the taskmaster is surprised when you unwrap them for him.
32:38Most successfully deceptive wrapping wins.
32:42You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
32:46I know exactly how I'm going to do it.
32:48OK.
32:55I think do consider a version of this where just people can do it in their own time.
32:59I think I'm going to have time to stay, you know.
33:02OK.
33:12Please stop wrapping.
33:13I'm going to call it a day there.
33:16WHISTLE BLOWS
33:17WHISTLE BLOWS
33:21WHISTLE BLOWS
33:22And, lo, I present my two gifts to you, Greg Davis.
33:28LAUGHTER
33:28OK, Greg.
33:30APPLAUSE
33:30Mmm.
33:32Mmm.
33:33Wow.
33:34They all look very good.
33:35So I'm going to show you Richard's two presents.
33:37I want you to guess what's inside each one.
33:39What do you think's on the left?
33:41Remember barrel, bike, skis, sheep, or Alex Horne?
33:46Bloody hell, he's good, isn't he?
33:48LAUGHTER
33:48Well, first things first.
33:51That is appalling wrapping.
33:54It's disrespectful to the person you're giving the gift to.
33:56All right, big man.
33:58LAUGHTER
33:58Let's go toe-to-toe on this.
34:00Let's go.
34:00My mother had a chocolate shop, as you know.
34:03Yes, it's true.
34:03I did all of the wrapping.
34:05I can curl ribbon.
34:07LAUGHTER
34:08I wrapped all the chocolates.
34:10That's where I worked.
34:11I just don't care about this.
34:15I will say they had 20 minutes to wrap.
34:17Richard, as is his norm, stopped with half the time left.
34:21LAUGHTER
34:22Right.
34:23Shall I have a guess?
34:23I mean, if you can guess.
34:25Good luck.
34:26Well, barrel.
34:27Which one? On the left or the right?
34:28On the left, obviously.
34:29The left is a barrel, OK.
34:30Unless he's tricked me by doing something in a barrel shape,
34:33and I don't believe he's got respect for the game to even try.
34:36Let's see if you're going to take me to the chocolate shop, shall we?
34:39LAUGHTER
34:40Barrel on the left.
34:44LAUGHTER
34:48I think he's gone.
34:49I think he's gone route one.
34:51I think it's a barrel on the left, and I think it's Alex Horne on the right.
34:54So he's gone for barrel and Alex Horne.
35:01Who's the sheep?
35:05Oh.
35:07Oh.
35:08Oh, God.
35:11More respect for the process than I have.
35:13That's right.
35:13I just took your ass to praline town.
35:16LAUGHTER
35:17Wow.
35:18Wow.
35:19Wow.
35:20I mean, compliments to the gentleman.
35:22Yeah, and it did stick in your throat, the compliment.
35:25You could barely get it out.
35:26It did a little.
35:27It did a little.
35:28It's so calcified with rage.
35:30It did a little.
35:31OK.
35:32Let's see.
35:33Chloe's two presents for you, Greg.
35:34What are these?
35:37Nicely wrapped.
35:38Do you think so?
35:39Yeah.
35:40Well, I mean, it's all about context, isn't it?
35:42Yeah.
35:43I'm not much of a rapper.
35:45That's why I'm a lesbian, so that there's a woman in my life to do it for me.
35:49LAUGHTER
35:50This is how I think Chloe would think.
35:52Mm-hm.
35:52They would think, I am going to make it look as if there are big things here,
35:58but they're actually relatively small.
36:00Ooh.
36:00And then they would think, no, actually, I'm going to go literal.
36:05What I'd put to you is there are actually two sizeable objects in there.
36:10Right.
36:10I'm going to ask you, what do you think those objects are?
36:13LAUGHTER
36:14Sheep and bike.
36:14Right, OK.
36:15Sheep and bike.
36:16Chloe gave you these gifts.
36:18MUSIC PLAYS
36:23Reveal yourself.
36:24It was me.
36:26LAUGHTER
36:26And this, it was...
36:28Big Alex Horne.
36:30Better known as...
36:35BAH!
36:36One out of two.
36:36One out of two.
36:37It was Sheep and Alex.
36:40APPLAUSE
36:40My thinking was actually spot on, wasn't it?
36:42It was exactly right.
36:43You got half of it right.
36:45LAUGHTER
36:46On the go.
36:47OK.
36:48He's given you two gifts.
36:49Yeah.
36:49These are they, but what are they?
36:52LAUGHTER
36:52Gosh.
36:53Another different approach.
36:53He's put a chicken on one.
36:55LAUGHTER
36:55Got instinct says skis to the left, sheep to the right.
36:59Let's dance.
37:01Ski...
37:01Ski and sheep.
37:03So, as you can see, it is...
37:08A bicycle.
37:10A bicycle.
37:10And...
37:11This one is...
37:13Oh...
37:14Sorry, there was the iron that fell off.
37:18Say bonjour.
37:19Bonjour.
37:20A French horn.
37:22You may get up now.
37:24I'm not sure.
37:26You can.
37:27Oh, Alex, I'm sorry.
37:29LAUGHTER
37:30Oh, dear.
37:30I'm sorry.
37:32Fold it up.
37:33Yeah.
37:35Oh, my...
37:36Oh, my...
37:37Oh, my...
37:38Oh.
37:38You were very...
37:39You were very stoic, actually.
37:41I was all folded up for 20 minutes.
37:43Yeah.
37:43Grandad did look stiff there, didn't he?
37:46It was the oldest I've ever looked.
37:49Yeah.
37:49Break time.
37:50One part left to go and today the prizes include some chocolates,
37:53a puppet and a cuddly toy.
37:55All the things Alex was denied as a child because...
37:58A puppet makes him look lonely.
38:01Chocolate goes straight to his thighs.
38:04And if you give him a cuddly toy, he pulls down his flies.
38:10LAUGHTER
38:18Welcome back.
38:20LAUGHTER
38:21We've made it to the last part of the show and yet there's still
38:24so much left to unwrap.
38:26So, so much, Greg.
38:28You see, they had to wrap up two items out of a bicycle,
38:31a barrel, a sheep, two skis and me.
38:33Most successfully deceptive wrapping wins.
38:37Only two wrappers left.
38:38So, Greg, it's time to see what Izzy wrapped.
38:42Grouped as one, Greg.
38:44Oh.
38:45Oh, sly.
38:46Didn't say you couldn't.
38:47What's that little peephole?
38:50LAUGHTER
38:52That makes me think that Alex is one of the presents.
38:56Izzy would find it amusing to wrap you up.
38:59But I didn't know that I would get to wrap him up.
39:02Mm.
39:03That's true.
39:04They just pick two things round.
39:05Oh, they pick them pre-wrap.
39:07LAUGHTER
39:07I see.
39:08Right.
39:09So what are we going for?
39:10LAUGHTER
39:12Alex Horne and two skis.
39:14I feel good about this.
39:15Before we see that, let's see what Nina wrapped up for you.
39:17Oh, God.
39:18I can only focus on one wrap at a time.
39:22WHISTLE BLOWS
39:24Tried to throw me with the whole banana display.
39:27And a massive spoon.
39:29And a massive spoon.
39:31Which I immediately want to put into some sort of plait.
39:35LAUGHTER
39:38There's a sideways bike there.
39:40OK.
39:41Bike and barrel.
39:42Bike and barrel.
39:42And then for Izzy, we had me and skis.
39:51WHISTLE BLOWS
39:53Shall we see?
39:55Greg, what have I got for you here?
39:57Shall we see?
39:58Shall we see what it is?
40:01Not one ski.
40:03Not two skis.
40:06But...
40:10Wow.
40:11He's going to love that.
40:16APPLAUSE
40:17Yeah, fair play.
40:18I hadn't banked on the use of a giant tube to disguise things.
40:22Touché, my friend.
40:23I think probably the cleverest tactics by Nina.
40:25The only one who actually really changed the shape of the objects.
40:28Very good.
40:29Except for Richard, who's angry and...
40:31Come on, mate.
40:32LAUGHTER
40:33There's a word for this.
40:34It's gaslighting.
40:36LAUGHTER
40:37So, OK, Greg, what do the three people who fooled you twice get?
40:43Richard, Matt, Nina, five points.
40:44Five points to Richard, Matt, Nina, of course.
40:45Now, the other two fooled you 50% of the time.
40:48It's three.
40:48That's a bit nice.
40:49It's three.
40:49OK, so it's three to Chloe, three to Izzy, five to the others!
40:53APPLAUSE
40:53Let's see the scores, please.
40:55OK, series-wise, Richard, you're on 87 points now.
40:59Good night.
40:59Well adrift of the others, and then Chloe's in the lead with 124 at this stage.
41:03Ah!
41:05APPLAUSE
41:06And in this episode, it's a tight one.
41:09We have three people, just one point separating them.
41:11Richard's on 16.
41:12Nina and Chloe are both on 17 points.
41:15WHISTLE BLOWS
41:18OK, everybody, please make your way to the stage
41:20for the final task of the show!
41:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:29Hi there, sweet thing.
41:31Hi, Greg.
41:32Who's going to read the task?
41:33Matt Lucas.
41:35Find a nipple in a napkin, in a nappy, in a knapsack, on the nappet.
41:42LAUGHTER
41:43Pretty wacky, this show, isn't it?
41:46Each round, you must each throw your die a maximum of two times.
41:52Whoever gets the highest unique number may look in a knapsack.
41:57First to find the nipple in a napkin, in a nappy, in a knapsack, on the nappet, wins.
42:02LAUGHTER
42:03OK, so you can throw your die.
42:05If you want to change your mind, you can throw it again.
42:07It's the highest unique number that gets to go and have a look.
42:11Are you waving if you've got a question, Richard?
42:12Do we get to keep our bucket?
42:14LAUGHTER
42:15Would you like to keep the bucket?
42:17Yes, please.
42:17You may keep the bucket.
42:18Thank you.
42:19OK, so pick up your buckets and try not to let anyone see what number you rolled
42:24and also please don't lie about what number you rolled.
42:26Oh, I don't understand then, sorry.
42:28LAUGHTER
42:29You don't want us to roll them on the floor?
42:31You just assumed that we'd automatically roll them in the bucket?
42:34LAUGHTER
42:34Yes, because otherwise the others will see what you've rolled
42:36and know whether to roll again or not.
42:38Of all the people we've had on this show, you lot ask the most questions.
42:43LAUGHTER
42:44Please stay on your spot, Richard.
42:46Please.
42:47LAUGHTER
42:48You will conform.
42:49LAUGHTER
42:50You will conform!
42:51I was never told to stand on the spot.
42:53Con-form.
42:56LAUGHTER
42:56There you are, just like all the others.
43:01LAUGHTER
43:02I'll keep going all day, old man.
43:04LAUGHTER
43:06I'm going back here of my own free will.
43:09LAUGHTER
43:09You're not, you're conforming like a good boy.
43:12LAUGHTER
43:14But please, roll your dice, everybody.
43:18Have a look at your numbers.
43:19Would anyone like to roll again?
43:21Yeah.
43:22So it's Izzy, Matt and Richard rolling again.
43:26LAUGHTER
43:26Chloe, what have you got?
43:27Three.
43:28Am I picking the highest...?
43:29No, you're picking your second one.
43:30Oh, one.
43:32OK.
43:33LAUGHTER
43:33Matt?
43:34Four.
43:34Nina?
43:35Six.
43:36Wow, Richard?
43:38Three.
43:39OK.
43:40In which case, Nina Conti has the highest unique number.
43:42You may go and look in a knapsack.
43:44This is not timed?
43:46No, no.
43:46Is this timed?
43:46Well, I mean, we've got things to do.
43:49LAUGHTER
43:49She's gone to the first knapsack.
43:51Would we have put the nipple in there?
43:53What have you found?
43:54A nappy.
43:55You found a nappy and a knapsack on the nappet.
43:57It's not enough.
43:57We go again.
43:58Well, that...
43:59This is how it's going to work.
43:59Goodness me, this has the potential to drag.
44:04LAUGHTER
44:05Please roll your dice.
44:09Would anyone like to roll again?
44:11Chloe and Izzy.
44:13Chloe, what have you got?
44:15Five.
44:16Four.
44:17Six.
44:18Four.
44:19Four.
44:19Five.
44:20Matt Lucas, you may go and look in a knapsack.
44:22I would advise you not to look in the first one.
44:25LAUGHTER
44:28He's not rushed in, but has he found a nipple?
44:30A napkin?
44:33Ooh!
44:34No nipple!
44:35Back there you go.
44:36For the first time.
44:39Two.
44:40Four.
44:41Four.
44:42Four.
44:42One.
44:43Six.
44:44Three.
44:45Stop.
44:46Let me...
44:47What?
44:48This is...
44:49Well, I was just checking.
44:52Yes.
44:53That's right, you've lost the room.
44:54You've lost the room.
44:55You've brought this on yourself.
44:57LAUGHTER
44:58Please be careful on the nappet.
45:00LAUGHTER
45:01It's a lovely napsack.
45:04No nipple.
45:05We go again, Richard.
45:06This is one for the adrenaline junkies.
45:09LAUGHTER
45:10Please roll your dice.
45:12And so, Chloe, what have we got?
45:14Six.
45:14Mm.
45:15Izzy?
45:15Four.
45:16One.
45:17One.
45:18Nina?
45:19One.
45:19I'm afraid it's a six.
45:20Oh!
45:21Is he sooty to the nappets?
45:25I've got a good feeling about this.
45:27Oh!
45:29It is simply a napkin.
45:31It's incredible.
45:32It's the only task right across the series where there's not a single person in this room who wants this
45:37to carry on.
45:39LAUGHTER
45:40It's incredible.
45:40Please roll your dice.
45:42APPLAUSE
45:43Six.
45:45Five.
45:46Three.
45:46Four.
45:47Five.
45:48I will check, because otherwise I'd look like a bad person for only checking...
45:52..only checking Richard once.
45:55LAUGHTER
45:56Trying to surprise the bag.
45:59LAUGHTER
46:01Fair play.
46:03Only pets could bring tension to this.
46:06LAUGHTER
46:06Just be conservative in your celebration.
46:08You are on the nappet.
46:10Yeah!
46:11Oh, the nipples!
46:13That's it.
46:14That's it.
46:15OK.
46:16It's over.
46:17I'll add that to your final scores.
46:18Come down and join me!
46:20CHEERING
46:28You're really provoking me today, aren't you?
46:31I've come away with a lovely bucket.
46:34LAUGHTER
46:35Yes, so any one of these five...
46:37..any one of these five could have won the episode, but it was inevitable.
46:40It seemed that Chloe Petz was to find the nipple, which means they also won the episode by five points!
46:45Chloe Petz won with her!
46:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:48Chloe Petz wins again!
46:50Please go up to grab your things, which are just great things!
46:55Go, Petz!
46:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE