- 4 days ago
The film focuses on West Virginia, a region ravaged by an opioid crisis. It chronicles the struggles of four young men with long-term drug addictions as they work and rebuild their lives at Jacob's Ladder at Brookside Farm, a farm-based rehabilitation center. Through their shared work and life, they confront inner struggles and uncertainty about the future, while simultaneously forging a deep brotherhood.
在一个饱受阿片类药物滥用之苦的地区，四位年轻人在一家以农场为基础的戒毒中心接受治疗，并在多年毒瘾折磨后努力重塑人生的过程中，建立起深厚的友谊。他们互相扶持，试图重建生活，修复因多年毒瘾和药物滥用而破裂的关系。
在一个饱受阿片类药物滥用之苦的地区，四位年轻人在一家以农场为基础的戒毒中心接受治疗，并在多年毒瘾折磨后努力重塑人生的过程中，建立起深厚的友谊。他们互相扶持，试图重建生活，修复因多年毒瘾和药物滥用而破裂的关系。
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TVTranscript
00:00:14I came home one day, and my wife and her brothers were using heroin.
00:00:18I fell in love with it pretty quick.
00:00:22One bag of dope turned into a gram of dope.
00:00:24One gram turned into two grams.
00:00:26The more you do, the more you have to do to get that same high.
00:00:30I never expected to live to be 25.
00:00:33I can't not use.
00:00:35If I don't use, I'm going to be sick.
00:00:38By 19 years old, I was up to five Percocets a day, and I didn't have a job.
00:00:45I was homeless.
00:00:47I felt like the world didn't need me.
00:00:51I probably was in high school the first time I smoked crack, did heroin not too long after that.
00:00:58I'd never really wanted to be in rehab.
00:01:01Too many of my friends failed over and over again, and family members.
00:01:05I thought drugs and alcohol, that's what I grew up around, you know?
00:01:09And I thought that was just the way everybody lived.
00:01:11I didn't know people lived life sober.
00:01:13I thought it was just the way everybody lived.
00:01:43That's good, that's great.
00:01:45That's great.
00:01:45Fire it up, man.
00:01:46I told him he was number one.
00:01:48Number one.
00:01:49How's it going?
00:01:51You guys got anything to carry in?
00:01:52No, he's got everything he's got right there in his hands.
00:01:55That's right.
00:01:56All right, all right.
00:01:57Nice place.
00:01:58We were still working on it when we opened up.
00:02:01Wow.
00:02:03Same bathroom, same way.
00:02:05This is yours.
00:02:07This is mine.
00:02:08Which bed do you want?
00:02:12All right.
00:02:13Dude, you should see the mat I was sleeping on.
00:02:15Oh, I knew what they were.
00:02:16It's like sleeping on a towel.
00:02:19Yep.
00:02:19These are comfortable beds.
00:02:21Try it out.
00:02:22Yeah, man, this is awesome.
00:02:24He had his court hearing yesterday for his girls.
00:02:28And because he was coming up here, they extended his period
00:02:32so they didn't take his girls away from him yet, so.
00:02:35That's good.
00:02:36How old are they now?
00:02:36One and three.
00:02:37Two and three.
00:02:38Two and three.
00:02:39Okay.
00:02:39How long have you been married?
00:02:41Since I was 20.
00:02:42Really?
00:02:43You're 25?
00:02:4426.
00:02:4526.
00:02:46No gang affiliations, anything like that?
00:02:49Very good.
00:02:50Tomorrow, basically, we'll wake you up, get you fed,
00:02:53and then we're going to go over to the farm and feed the animals,
00:02:56do a little bit of work over there.
00:02:59Evening time around the 6, 7 o'clock.
00:03:02That would be some of your time for educational classes.
00:03:06You've been here in about 45 minutes.
00:03:08You're officially our senior resident.
00:03:12It's law of responsibility.
00:03:14Yeah.
00:03:15You're it.
00:03:15It's me, man.
00:03:16You're it.
00:03:35I mean, if that doesn't give you a new perspective, I don't know what will.
00:03:52The guys won't have a lot of outside world contact unless it's supervised.
00:04:00You really want to kind of keep the guys from isolating because that's kind of where
00:04:05their life's been, spend them and their drug.
00:04:09Farming life is a series of advances and a couple of setbacks,
00:04:14and they'll be able to experience that kind of stuff sober.
00:04:20Life's not always going to be perfect.
00:04:22It's not always going to be good.
00:04:23And you have to learn to live with pain and setbacks without having drugs to dampen it for you.
00:04:32Morning, guys.
00:04:33Morning, Mark.
00:04:34How you doing?
00:04:35Fantastic.
00:04:37You ever worked with animals before?
00:04:38Have you?
00:04:39Yeah.
00:04:40I've had that little farm.
00:04:41A farm?
00:04:41Okay.
00:04:49These are the ones that are going to go out on pasture.
00:04:52You can just stick it in front of them, and he should at least for a while.
00:04:57There you go.
00:04:59You look like you've had it before.
00:05:00Yeah, I've done.
00:05:01Okay.
00:05:02This is my brother Benny, which he's on heroin and mess real bad right now.
00:05:09That's Aaron, my mom's boyfriend John, the one she's married to now.
00:05:12That's his son, the OD.
00:05:16And he's passed away.
00:05:17And that's my brother AJ, which is locked up in prison for Robin Hardy's in Saverton in
00:05:24Morningtown to get drugs and stuff.
00:05:29And that's my sister and my mom and her two kids.
00:05:33But she don't have nothing to do with them.
00:05:35She's on the run from the law right now.
00:05:38And my mom has both kids.
00:05:41These are cute.
00:05:43That's my little kid.
00:05:45That's her when she just started to walk in.
00:05:57Got a lot of amends to make a lot of these people, but I don't know who they are.
00:06:02I've broken into a lot of these houses out through.
00:06:05They're my addiction.
00:06:10There's some amends you just can't make, you know?
00:06:12There are some.
00:06:15Some of them maybe you could write a letter, put it in their mailbox.
00:06:19Because it would be risky knocking on the door, some of them, and tell them what you did.
00:06:23They may not take too kindly to it.
00:06:27Especially in these parts, people tend to carry guns with them.
00:06:31Yeah, they'll shoot you around here.
00:06:36See that church way over there on that hill?
00:06:38Yeah.
00:06:38That's where my real dad's buried at.
00:06:40Really?
00:06:41Yeah.
00:06:42Did you ever know him?
00:06:43No, I was three when he passed away.
00:06:46That's when my mom left.
00:06:47What happened?
00:06:48That tree I cut down on top of him.
00:06:50Really?
00:06:51Yeah.
00:06:51Wow.
00:06:52In a logging yard.
00:06:56Then like a year later, my mom left, went to a bar, and never came home.
00:07:02So she left when you were three?
00:07:05Three years old, yeah.
00:07:06And then come back until I was 15 or 16.
00:07:07Jeez.
00:07:08Where'd she go?
00:07:10I don't know.
00:07:27I like to sit here sometimes quietly.
00:07:30Like, when you're like high and stuff, you don't really think about what is, you know what
00:07:35When you wake up, like, I wake up, my first thing is, I gotta find my needle and go find
00:07:40me
00:07:40some dope, you know what I mean?
00:07:42But now that you're not high, you come out here in the morning, you listen to all the birds.
00:07:46When you're high, you don't focus on shit like that.
00:07:49I hear a bird over here right now, you know what I mean?
00:07:52And you can hear some over here.
00:07:54Then when they go together, it's like, you know what I mean?
00:07:57You definitely appreciate the little things in the morning.
00:07:59Yeah, you do.
00:07:59But when you're high, you really, you really don't focus on no shit like that.
00:08:02You see through it.
00:08:03Yeah.
00:08:04I agree.
00:08:06Beautiful.
00:08:07Let's go!
00:08:09Let's go!
00:08:12And set a post in and see if it wedges.
00:08:14If it wedges, don't even, don't take it all the way out.
00:08:17Minimalistic.
00:08:18Yes.
00:08:21Long story short, I've been to the drug addict since I was 16 and in and out of programs.
00:08:25This is my 10th program.
00:08:28And I came to Jacob's Ladder, I was at a wilderness program before this.
00:08:33And, um, I just, my mom found it for me.
00:08:36And, you know, I've never been on a recovery place like this where it's on a farm.
00:08:42I know what people want to hear, so it was really easy for me to skate through a program undetected,
00:08:48you know, seeing, oh man, this kid's really doing good, he's really doing good.
00:08:50And really, I was just bullshitting my way, waiting to get out on the outside to use.
00:08:53Deep down, I don't really want to be sober.
00:08:55I don't want to die.
00:08:56Nobody really wants to die.
00:08:57Even a normal human doesn't want to die, you know?
00:08:59And, I don't know, I'm just, I'm really excited to actually give it 100%.
00:09:05Because, uh, I've never done that before.
00:09:07I've never given it my all.
00:09:11I've never been on a farm.
00:09:17I've never had a farm.
00:09:18I've never been on a farm.
00:09:20I've never been on a farm.
00:09:35I've never done that before.
00:09:38Craig Addick.
00:09:39Hi, Craig.
00:09:40Hi, Craig.
00:09:40So what I want to do next is we're going to go around,
00:09:44you're going to check in how your week's going,
00:09:46what's the struggle, and what's going well for you.
00:09:49I'm Adam, and I'm an addict.
00:09:51Hey, Adam.
00:09:52Yeah, you know, this week's been up and down.
00:09:56I got, you know, the first letter from my grandma.
00:10:01She's, like, the center of my addiction, you know,
00:10:04that was, like, where I got all my money.
00:10:07You know, if I needed something, I ran there,
00:10:09and either she gave it to me or most of the time
00:10:12I just conned her out of it one way or another,
00:10:14to put it blatantly.
00:10:17She sent me this letter, and she said,
00:10:19you know, I forgive you.
00:10:21I couldn't be mad at you.
00:10:22I love you and all this, and I was just thinking, like,
00:10:26I took a significant amount of money from this woman.
00:10:29I mean, I ruined her life in my eyes.
00:10:31I mean, she's 86, and she's working at the Goodwill
00:10:35so that she is not homeless right now.
00:10:38Myself, I couldn't just forgive someone like that.
00:10:40I don't care who they are.
00:10:42I don't deserve the forgiveness that I got that quickly
00:10:45and out of nowhere.
00:10:48And I just don't know what to do.
00:10:50Does that make sense to you guys?
00:10:52Yeah, it does.
00:11:02You're awesome, man.
00:11:07This is a good photo.
00:11:24That's awesome, man, I love you.
00:11:26Go run, guys.
00:11:28Dude, I almost ran.
00:11:31You saved my life many a times.
00:11:34You have no idea how true that is.
00:11:35Maybe not true.
00:11:3614 times.
00:11:36Keep out of there, buddy.
00:11:51Dude, I'm gassing my shit on that rope.
00:11:55You want it?
00:11:56You want it?
00:11:57I can tell you.
00:11:59Whoa!
00:12:06Hey!
00:12:08Hey!
00:12:16Hey!
00:12:24They told me we're going for a hayride.
00:12:25Hey!
00:12:25Hey!
00:12:27Yeah!
00:12:30Hey!
00:12:32Hey!
00:12:35They told me we were going for a hayride.
00:12:38You see?
00:12:38That's the only thing I had in mind.
00:12:40Yeah, sir.
00:12:47The pepper's here.
00:12:48Yeah, you can tell the difference in the lead.
00:12:50Yup.
00:12:51I feel like if we're flexible and we're compassionate,
00:12:58then, I mean, that to me is the best combination of trying to help people.
00:13:03I mean, if you lose either one of those two qualities,
00:13:06I think you're really hamstrung.
00:13:08No matter what you're doing,
00:13:09if you're giving these guys a place to be surrounded by good people,
00:13:13I mean, you know, they're way ahead of the game already.
00:13:25Jake and Jerrica, his older sister,
00:13:27in the Bahamas, we went comp diving.
00:13:31Jake was probably withdrawing in this picture.
00:13:35I was, yeah.
00:13:35I didn't know it at the time, but he was...
00:13:38I thought you knew.
00:13:40Did I know at this one?
00:13:41You had a hunch.
00:13:42Yeah.
00:13:43Yeah.
00:13:44I can't remember how skinny he is.
00:13:47Pretty skinny.
00:13:49That got worse than that, though.
00:13:51Yeah.
00:13:51Yeah.
00:13:52Because that was when I was just doing bills.
00:13:55I think I, like, snuck one oxy with me.
00:13:59Did you?
00:13:59Uh-huh.
00:14:01Looking pretty...
00:14:02pretty strong now.
00:14:04That's because I was, yeah.
00:14:05Yeah.
00:14:06Yeah.
00:14:08Yeah.
00:14:09Yeah.
00:14:10Yeah.
00:14:11Yeah.
00:14:13Yeah.
00:14:16Yeah.
00:14:17Yeah.
00:14:17Yeah.
00:14:18Yeah.
00:14:19Yeah.
00:14:21Yeah.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Yeah.
00:14:25How'd your, uh, court date go last week?
00:14:27Oh, man.
00:14:28Yeah.
00:14:29Not good?
00:14:30Mm-hm.
00:14:32I'm sure it wasn't good, but, uh, I found some bad news about my daughter.
00:14:36You know, put me in bad mood all week.
00:14:40My daughter went to a foster home while she was in there.
00:14:43They molested her.
00:14:44And I just found out how it's sick.
00:14:46We're in the middle of a wreck.
00:14:48It's in being investigated right now and stuff.
00:14:51You know what I mean?
00:14:52It's pretty bad week.
00:14:55Jeff, you got quiet, brother.
00:14:57What are you, what are you thinking?
00:14:59What do you mean?
00:15:00You, you're not quiet usually, so what's going on?
00:15:02I'm just kicking it, dude.
00:15:03Huh?
00:15:04Just kicking it.
00:15:05Listening.
00:15:06What went on for you when I brought up stuff in your life right now?
00:15:10I don't know.
00:15:11I keep telling myself all day today.
00:15:13If I wasn't just picked up and used, you know what I mean?
00:15:16If I was, wouldn't have got caught.
00:15:18Like, they would never got tooken.
00:15:20She would never got molested, you know what I mean?
00:15:22Like, I feel like my actions, like, led to that shit.
00:15:28I just want to kill the dude.
00:15:30I get it, man.
00:15:33One thing on my shoulder is saying, you know, I'm doing the right thing.
00:15:36Stay here and it'll all work out.
00:15:38But let the cops, let the law take care of it and stuff.
00:15:42And another part of my shoulder is like, man, I just got to fuck up.
00:15:44Kill this motherfucker.
00:15:46You know what I mean?
00:15:48Protect your daughter.
00:15:49And I just, I'm lost.
00:15:53I don't know what to do, man.
00:15:55I just don't want to go there.
00:15:57But that part of me wants to stay too.
00:15:59See, I'm just like, I'm lost.
00:16:00I just, I don't know what to do.
00:16:06I don't fucking know, man.
00:16:09I don't know.
00:16:11I don't know.
00:16:14What?
00:16:15What?
00:16:16You're doing it right now though, right?
00:16:18You're talking, you're coming out with it.
00:16:20Because I, it's obvious, Jeff, that all this stuff's sitting in you, in your head.
00:16:24You're the one who thinks that you get away with it with all the jokes and shit.
00:16:27You know, but it's obvious, you can't have something like that pop into your life,
00:16:31and then it just evaporates.
00:16:33And they're gonna go away.
00:16:35So here we got your brothers here in recovery.
00:16:37And this is to you guys, right?
00:16:38You know, this is your guy.
00:16:39He's struggling.
00:16:41So are we just talking shit every day?
00:16:43Or are we just having fun?
00:16:45But he's struggling, right?
00:16:46Now you see on his face.
00:16:49So what are we doing to support Jeff?
00:16:51Well, we've all seen it.
00:16:53You know, it sucks because I've been there too, and I've gone out over it.
00:16:56And I, I came back, luckily.
00:16:58You know, I've had a lot of survivor's guilt.
00:17:00And, you know, I've seen a lot of my friends die.
00:17:02And, you know, you've seen your daughter go through some tough things.
00:17:04I've got my daughter taken away from me because of heroin.
00:17:07I mean, it's gonna sound really harsh, but you need to be selfish.
00:17:10Because, like, what do you have to offer to your daughter or to the world right now?
00:17:13Absolutely nothing.
00:17:15Until you get right with yourself.
00:17:18I fell big time, you know?
00:17:21It's three years old, man.
00:17:25And I already got fucked with.
00:17:28I'm about to stop that.
00:17:34I'm fucked.
00:17:36I can't do this anymore.
00:17:44I want to stop the club blocking.
00:17:44Get him, come on, come on, come on.
00:17:49I'm curious to ask how you guys are feeling right now.
00:17:52I've been in the exact situation.
00:17:54Not the exact, but, like, I've, like, I've got to the point where, like, I wanted to leave,
00:17:58but I wanted to stay.
00:17:59And I ended up leaving, I ended up relapsing, OD'd another four times, you know.
00:18:04Yeah, but was it because of that reason?
00:18:06It wasn't exactly that reason.
00:18:07That your child was molested?
00:18:08No, but I've been raped.
00:18:09I mean, that takes a toll on somebody.
00:18:10I was raped when I was six years old, so, like, I feel the situation.
00:18:13This is not a war story, bro.
00:18:14Yeah, it's not a war story, it's an experience, really.
00:18:16It's not who goes through the more horrible thing.
00:18:21We all go through life on life's terms, right?
00:18:23Yeah.
00:18:24Like, I just feel, like, a sense of relief, almost, that he's got it off his chest, it's
00:18:27out in the open, now he can deal with it, he's feeling the emotion, it's out.
00:18:59Yeah.
00:18:59Oh my God.
00:19:06Hey, who's the new guy?
00:19:07Which one's the new guy?
00:19:08I would probably say the guy with the hair and the beard.
00:19:11Grateful Dead shirt, most likely, probably.
00:19:15Old hippie dude.
00:19:17He's the first guy that we've had that's come right off the street, presumably used within
00:19:22hours of getting there, so I think he's going to be a challenge, because every other guy
00:19:27we've seen has had some sober time.
00:19:34This was a wily one, man.
00:19:38Pickle up, man.
00:19:39Pickle up, man.
00:19:40There you go.
00:19:44He's definitely, you know, detoxing hard and stuff, and it brings a whole new atmosphere, so...
00:19:49I feel his pain, man.
00:19:51Hmm?
00:19:51Definitely feel his pain, man.
00:19:53Yeah, yeah, we've all been through it, well.
00:19:55Most of us have been through it.
00:19:56Shakes, withdrawals, thrown up, diarrhea.
00:19:59Shit in the cell.
00:20:01The hot to cold sweat.
00:20:02Yeah.
00:20:03Basically, like, you've got the flu.
00:20:04Joint's aching, so, like, someone's stabbing you with a knife in all your joints,
00:20:08every time you move.
00:20:12The hot to cold...
00:20:17The hot to cold.
00:20:23My medicine's coocted
00:20:26The hot to cold.
00:20:27I don't want to be out, though.
00:20:31Yo!
00:20:33Get out your cops, man.
00:20:35The hot must be on the cops, man.
00:20:38Just take him off with us right here.
00:20:48Woo!
00:20:49Hey!
00:20:51Woo!
00:20:55One week clean.
00:20:57Good job, man.
00:20:58Good job, buddy.
00:21:00One week down, five months and three weeks left.
00:21:04Five months and three weeks left.
00:21:07Yeah.
00:21:09I've been a whole lifetime.
00:21:12Phew.
00:21:14We didn't just see him in, like, a month from now.
00:21:16On big old biceps.
00:21:18Nah, I might turn up like Bruce Lee or something.
00:21:21I'm still gonna be sprung.
00:21:26All right.
00:21:28But you put him over your pants.
00:21:29Yeah.
00:21:30Ed, you haven't met Ryan yet, have you?
00:21:32No, Ryan. Glad to meet you. Good to see you.
00:21:34Nice to meet you.
00:21:35Are they all girls or what?
00:21:37Yeah.
00:21:37Can you tell them the part?
00:21:39I'm sure they got, all the girls got...
00:21:41Yeah!
00:21:43That's the dirty one!
00:21:44That's him!
00:21:45That's him!
00:21:47There came a point where I was like, holy fuck.
00:21:49I have no clue how to live my life.
00:21:51I mean, I'm a ball of fear and self-centered and misery and anxiety attacks.
00:21:55But then it was like, if these are the things I've done that have led me to misery, despair,
00:22:00hurt everyone I love, I've accomplished nothing, what if I do the opposite of what I used to do?
00:22:05How would I feel then?
00:22:08Uh-huh.
00:22:08I just wanna pull him over.
00:22:10I'll hold him.
00:22:11It's only gonna hurt for a second.
00:22:13You just reach down and pull his nuts up through.
00:22:15Phil, make sure you got both.
00:22:16Yep.
00:22:17Two nuts.
00:22:18Fucking oily nuts, dude.
00:22:19There, nobody!
00:22:22They hurt me.
00:22:24They hurt me.
00:22:25First, pal.
00:22:26There you go that way, I guess.
00:22:28Good.
00:22:29Good.
00:22:30Good gal.
00:22:30I never pick a gal in my life.
00:22:32Oh, come on, don't kick me.
00:22:34I'm glad.
00:22:35I just like to think of us as human beings, no matter what.
00:22:38We're born human beings, we're gonna die human beings, we're not perfect, and we're not defective.
00:22:44Defective products get thrown in the trash, you know what I mean?
00:22:46Like, they get discontinued.
00:22:53I read this one book that said the word stigma comes from Greek, when they used to brand people on
00:22:59the face for being a certain cast that was looked down upon by society.
00:23:08And when you're a drug addict, I mean, like, you dress a certain way, you look a certain way.
00:23:12I mean, the tattoos, everything like that.
00:23:15And people take one look at you and judge you.
00:23:17So I can see why people will want to change that perception.
00:23:20Might be something I want to work on in the future.
00:23:23Right now, I do want to just focus on the inside stuff, you know?
00:23:27Maybe the outside stuff will come later on, I want now.
00:23:37It's pretty funny.
00:23:38Like, look at these pictures.
00:23:39They're hilarious.
00:23:41Like, because this is where all STDs come from, is a movie theater.
00:23:45So...
00:23:47Make sure you get to know your partner over chips and glass of water.
00:23:52Um...
00:23:53Keep your cool.
00:23:54Stay in control of your decisions.
00:23:55Limit the amount of alcohol you drink.
00:23:58Whoops.
00:23:59All right, I tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, hepatitis, A, B, and C, and HIV.
00:24:08And AIDS will be testing later.
00:24:11So, yeah.
00:24:12It was kind of strenuous, kind of scared.
00:24:17I remember very distinctly, I went to my buddy's house, also a dealer.
00:24:23And, you know, I was sitting there.
00:24:24And, like, it was, like, the first time I ever went over to shoot up with him.
00:24:27And he was like,
00:24:28Oh, yeah, by the way, me and my wife have Hep C.
00:24:30And I was like, cool.
00:24:32Like, didn't even care.
00:24:33Like, it was...
00:24:3670% of all IV users have Hep C.
00:24:41So...
00:24:42And, like, I don't know.
00:24:44That's, like, seven people out of ten.
00:24:47We have five IV users here.
00:24:50So it's, like, at least...
00:24:54I think 70% of five.
00:24:56So, like, three and a half of us live Hep C.
00:25:02Oh, I'm just seeing this board, man.
00:25:04You like that?
00:25:06Dude.
00:25:07It's awesome.
00:25:08Smelling air?
00:25:09Yeah.
00:25:09How many are you going to put in there?
00:25:10What do you think?
00:25:11How old is he then?
00:25:12He's 22, but I only think we got 22.
00:25:14He's still out.
00:25:17He's still out.
00:25:18He's right here, Adam.
00:25:22Happy birthday to you.
00:25:32Happy birthday to you.
00:25:36Happy birthday.
00:25:44Happy birthday.
00:25:47Happy birthday.
00:25:59What's up?
00:26:03I called my dad, bad decision.
00:26:06He started the conversation with, I'm not giving you a job.
00:26:10It's like the first thing that came out of his mouth.
00:26:16Man, I mean, you have to ask that.
00:26:19I mean, come on now.
00:26:21At least he said he...
00:26:23I don't know where it came from.
00:26:25He was like, well, I think about you sometimes.
00:26:27I was like, wow.
00:26:28Wow.
00:26:30Holy shit.
00:26:33So that was about the gist of that.
00:26:36I'm sorry.
00:26:38But anyway, it's my birthday, so fuck that.
00:26:41Yeah, exactly.
00:27:00I can't believe how big your arms are.
00:27:03Me and a couple other guys work out like every day.
00:27:06That's great.
00:27:11Oh, I love the ceilings in here.
00:27:14Do you have a cigarette on you?
00:27:17I do, but I don't know if I want to give you one.
00:27:19Why?
00:27:20You said you could do really good not smoking, so...
00:27:22I have.
00:27:23I smoke like three cigarettes a day sometimes.
00:27:25I don't want to encourage that.
00:27:30So, so happy.
00:27:32So happy.
00:27:33He hasn't looked this good since he's probably been 14 years old,
00:27:38health-wise.
00:27:39You know what I mean?
00:27:39He just looks absolutely fantastic.
00:27:47Yeah, I've been eating them.
00:27:50Yeah?
00:27:51Tell me if this ain't a bear cave in the house.
00:27:53Oh, okay.
00:27:56That's the best bear den I've ever seen.
00:27:58Yeah.
00:28:03Can't duck it, fuck it.
00:28:05And it's West Virginia chrome right there.
00:28:07Got that right.
00:28:08Got it.
00:28:09Is that a big one?
00:28:11We're good.
00:28:11We're good.
00:28:12We're good.
00:28:12Taj Mahal, baby.
00:28:14All right.
00:28:14Do what you gotta do.
00:28:15Yep.
00:28:15Do what you gotta do.
00:28:17Hey, the rings on this...
00:28:18So, I called my mom, and, uh, our dog just died, and, uh, she's having some problems
00:28:23with the house and stuff.
00:28:25And she really stressed that she didn't like looking at me with unkempt hair, and so...
00:28:48Where's that muster at?
00:28:51And, uh, maybe you know she's still raising hell.
00:28:59The legendary red white won't ever die like a real girl.
00:29:08Can I get a minute to talk to you?
00:29:17Hey!
00:29:18How you doing?
00:29:20Daddy, I got your present.
00:29:21Oh, a monkey!
00:29:23Oh, wow!
00:29:26Daddy, why are you standing over here?
00:29:28We got a new baby.
00:29:30We got a baby sheep.
00:29:32Here, stand here.
00:29:33I'll lift you down one by one.
00:29:35Jump!
00:29:37You hear it?
00:29:38Yeah, it's in there.
00:29:41Come look.
00:29:43Look in there.
00:29:45Oh!
00:29:46Hi, baby!
00:29:47That's so cute!
00:29:48Yeah!
00:29:49Aw!
00:29:50Aw!
00:29:51That's so cute!
00:29:55All right, give me a kiss.
00:29:56Give me a kiss.
00:29:57Daddy, I want sugar.
00:30:00Daddy can.
00:30:01Daddy can.
00:30:01Why don't you stay here?
00:30:03Just a little while longer, okay?
00:30:04Then, Daddy, come back and get you, okay?
00:30:07Mm-hmm.
00:30:07I promise.
00:30:11Why don't you get your tears?
00:30:14The happy tears.
00:30:16Happy tears?
00:30:17Yeah.
00:30:17Happy tears.
00:30:18But you're upset.
00:30:20Happy tears, baby.
00:30:21I love you.
00:30:27It's rough when they go, you know what I mean?
00:30:30Jeff had five months.
00:30:32That was a long time, man.
00:30:37Too long.
00:30:40But, Jeff, this is the work it takes so that they have a dad who's sober and happy and free,
00:30:45you know?
00:30:46They'll lose you if, you know, there's nothing certain about your recovery if you don't do the work,
00:30:52right?
00:30:53So then they'll have nobody, you know what I mean?
00:30:55That's why doing what you're doing is so important.
00:30:59Today, it's sad, but it's also, like, really happy that they have you.
00:31:02You know, they got a clean dad.
00:31:04Yeah, that's why I call it happy tears.
00:31:06Yeah.
00:31:06Yeah.
00:31:06I don't want to tell them sad.
00:31:08I was just happy.
00:31:08Yeah.
00:31:10Sad to see them go, you know?
00:31:12Yeah.
00:31:12But happy that they came.
00:31:14Yeah.
00:31:17Happy tears.
00:31:19It's a new one.
00:31:20Yeah.
00:31:28Yeah.
00:31:28Yeah.
00:31:37Yeah.
00:31:38Yeah.
00:31:39Yeah.
00:31:41Yeah.
00:31:41Yeah.
00:31:41If you want to get free Naloxone to help save a life, please go down and sign up and we'll
00:31:48do the training after this event.
00:31:50Everybody will walk away then with a $3,600 auto injector kit for free.
00:31:59Today, here we are hosting the very first West Virginia Overdose Awareness Day tribute.
00:32:05We do not want them to be forgotten.
00:32:08The moment we lost them was just that, one moment.
00:32:12Our God, we come to you now asking that you be with us as we struggle to find solutions.
00:32:21Be with us as we get the strength to fight the battle.
00:32:45I like how two guys come up with their shoes down.
00:32:49They tell their high, but it's a change.
00:32:59It's about a way of raising an overdose awareness, so who cares if they're high, at least they're
00:33:05here, man.
00:33:07They're trying.
00:33:09Coleman Price, Tommy Sewell, Matt Brown, Savage Cougar, age 38.
00:33:19I can't believe the one kid's name they read was 16.
00:33:23Celia Bays, 27.
00:33:55How are you doing?
00:33:56Good.
00:33:56We brought goods.
00:33:57You won't even recognize him.
00:33:59How's he doing?
00:34:00He's doing great.
00:34:01Absolutely great.
00:34:07Look at you, man.
00:34:11Oh.
00:34:12Good to see you.
00:34:14Come here.
00:34:15Let's get a group hug going.
00:34:17What's up, bro?
00:34:23Good to see you.
00:34:24Good to see you.
00:34:24Good to see you.
00:34:25Got some sun.
00:34:26Yeah.
00:34:26Got some muscles.
00:34:27A little bit.
00:34:28Some tone back.
00:34:29Here's the trick.
00:34:30Hold out your hand.
00:34:32Yeah.
00:34:32Whoa.
00:34:36This guy.
00:34:37That was actually pretty good.
00:34:38It was this year.
00:34:40Really?
00:34:40Yep.
00:34:40Look at you, right?
00:34:41It's a gorgeous place.
00:34:42Stop it.
00:34:43Yep.
00:34:44All right, I'll stop it.
00:34:45We're here to hang out.
00:34:50I had a really fucked up perception of what love was.
00:34:55He's treating people like shit.
00:34:57He'd be like, fuck love.
00:34:59Like, I don't really care about it.
00:35:01It's not that important to me.
00:35:02I thought maybe it's just a construct.
00:35:04You know, like a human construct.
00:35:05Like, it doesn't exist.
00:35:06People just say they love you so they could use you or whatever.
00:35:10And now, it just seems like this thing that exists, like air, water, whatever.
00:35:14Like, it's like an element.
00:35:16So, I guess you got to be living in the real world to feel it.
00:35:20You know?
00:35:20And I haven't been in the real world for a long time.
00:35:22So, kind of weird.
00:35:24But it is a good thing.
00:35:27Right?
00:35:28That's all I got.
00:35:30I love you, mate.
00:35:31I'm proud.
00:35:34Yep.
00:35:35That's what we're doing.
00:35:39Um...
00:35:41Um...
00:35:43Um...
00:35:44Um...
00:35:44Uh-huh!
00:35:44Uh-huh!
00:35:44Slow!
00:35:45Walking down the road.
00:35:46It's a one-way street.
00:35:48Uh-huh!
00:35:48Whichever way I go.
00:35:50Uh-huh!
00:35:53Um...
00:35:53Um...
00:35:54Um...
00:36:05Um...
00:36:06concerned about it on one hand I know you guys have worked hard I know you guys
00:36:10are excited about going to the dance and on the other hand there's gonna be
00:36:13alcohol there and a lot of you guys all you guys are pretty new and some guys
00:36:17are really new to be able to go into real-life situation somewhat I think it
00:36:22could be good I don't personally want to go this is the Aurora barn dance we're
00:36:28gonna be there with a bunch of people that probably don't like us and it's
00:36:32just gonna be awkward I'm sorry Adam but like there could be 20 people there
00:36:36in recovery like we don't know who's gonna be down there and who's not I
00:36:40can't just pigeonhole everyone to say they're all a bunch of assholes that
00:36:43don't like us like that's not true I'm here to have fun too like drugs and
00:36:49alcohol to me are the opposite of fun I may sound like bullshit to a lot of
00:36:54people but I had gotten to a point in my life where it wasn't fun it was a
00:36:59fucking chore I think it's just important we don't walk into this dance or
00:37:05anywhere else and I'm powerful I I got some days therefore I'm not gonna get
00:37:09high it's bullshit any of us are one thought away
00:37:35let's go
00:37:37Let's go to the front.
00:37:38Go to the front.
00:37:40Come on, I'll go with you.
00:37:48You feel out of place, don't you?
00:37:50Yeah, but you know what?
00:37:51You've got to challenge it,
00:37:52because you're not out of place, dude.
00:37:54We need people on the floor.
00:37:56This is a very simple, simple dance.
00:37:59No, just pick a partner.
00:38:02Come on, dude. Go.
00:38:04Go ahead, Ryan. There you go.
00:38:07Nice to meet you.
00:38:09I'm Rush.
00:38:10I'm Debbie.
00:38:11Nice to meet you, Debbie.
00:38:15So, just go pick a partner.
00:38:17All right.
00:38:17This is it, you guys.
00:38:18Come on on.
00:38:19Some ladies here that need someone.
00:38:24So, join your hands and circle left.
00:38:32Now, back to the right.
00:38:38Swing your knee once around.
00:38:40Once once around.
00:38:43And promenade.
00:38:45Take all four.
00:38:48Oh!
00:38:48Oh, whatever!
00:38:50And swing yourself.
00:38:55Couple number one.
00:38:57Off to the right.
00:38:58Go right.
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:04You guys!
00:39:04That was the most fun I've had a whole time.
00:39:10Yeah!
00:39:20Thank you guys for dancing.
00:39:23Don't sit down.
00:39:38When do you want this place ready, Bob?
00:39:40A couple months.
00:39:42Yeah.
00:39:46Honestly, though, even if it was a sober house
00:39:48and we were still working on it while we rode here,
00:39:50it wouldn't be a big deal.
00:39:51Yeah, the more important day is getting the kitchen done.
00:39:54Everyone wants to stay in this area
00:39:55when they finish Jacob's Ladder,
00:39:57and so we purchased a property.
00:39:59We're finishing it up so that it can be
00:40:01a sober living setting for these guys.
00:40:04If they can get jobs in the community
00:40:06and they want to stay here,
00:40:07that keeps them connected to what they're doing already.
00:40:11For your time?
00:40:12Yes.
00:40:13You've been scraping?
00:40:14A lot.
00:40:14I worry every day about these guys leaving here
00:40:17and going back home,
00:40:19getting back to the playground
00:40:20and to the friends
00:40:21and all of the things that they used to get into.
00:40:24When they're here,
00:40:25there's a little mini-vacation
00:40:26from all the chaos of their lives
00:40:27that they've got themselves into,
00:40:29and they're going to go back to the real world
00:40:32and try to get them ready for it.
00:40:34It's a great start here,
00:40:35and that's what it is.
00:40:36I mean, nothing's promised
00:40:38when a guy leaves our program.
00:40:40I'm back.
00:40:41Name's Jeff.
00:40:42Yeah.
00:40:42I'm a father of two girls,
00:40:44and my addiction took over a good person
00:40:48and turned me into a monster, I could say.
00:40:54I didn't care who I hurt, man.
00:40:56I didn't care what I had to do,
00:40:58tearing families apart,
00:41:00ruining lives, man.
00:41:06I want that new way of life.
00:41:09I remember every day when I wake up,
00:41:11just don't use today no matter what.
00:41:13Don't pick up.
00:41:14But that's all I grew up around, you know?
00:41:17That's all I've known.
00:41:18It's all my family does.
00:41:19It's all my friends do.
00:41:22It's basically my whole town does it, you know?
00:41:25And I don't know a certain person back home.
00:41:29It kind of scares me, you know?
00:41:35Yeah, that's all.
00:41:37Thanks, Jeff.
00:41:38I really appreciate that.
00:41:41Come on, man.
00:41:42Teamwork makes the dream work.
00:41:44There we go.
00:41:45Teamwork makes the dream work.
00:41:46I did.
00:41:47I picked Jeff up six months ago
00:41:49down to regional jail.
00:41:51He came running around the corner
00:41:54with all of his worldly possessions
00:41:55in his hands.
00:41:57And he looked at me,
00:41:58he'd never met me before,
00:41:59and he said,
00:41:59let's get out of here
00:42:00before they change their mind.
00:42:05Man, I call Jeff old dad.
00:42:12He's younger than me.
00:42:14But he's got the wisdom
00:42:18that I needed.
00:42:19I'm glad he's sticking around
00:42:21because I love this guy.
00:42:23I really do.
00:42:24Yep.
00:42:24It's hard not to get emotional.
00:42:27I'm really going to miss this place.
00:42:29I want to say thanks to you, Dr. B.
00:42:31Heard me out,
00:42:32listened to my story,
00:42:33and you took me in
00:42:34and gave me a chance.
00:42:36And I will.
00:42:37Thanks, man.
00:42:38I'll be, buddy.
00:42:57I want to thank everybody for coming out,
00:43:00helping us celebrate Adam's graduation.
00:43:05I'm Leslie, I'm Adam's mom.
00:43:08It's been a long few years for us.
00:43:11I am so proud of you.
00:43:13And all the hard work that you've put into yourself
00:43:15is really paying off.
00:43:17And I could not be more proud.
00:43:20I just love you to death.
00:43:32I'm really not good with speeches, guys.
00:43:42But it's been a long road, man.
00:43:50It's been a long road.
00:43:54You know, I've learned what a friend is, you know?
00:43:58Because I didn't know.
00:44:00And now I have more than I can count on both of my hands.
00:44:05I feel like I was hungry.
00:44:09I feel like I will now be a doctor.
00:44:10I'm sorry, I will be a doctor.
00:44:13Do you know?
00:44:17Yes.
00:44:19I'm sorry.
00:44:23Do you know?
00:44:24I'm sorry.
00:44:34You've never done it.
00:44:50Oh yeah, come on, let's have a little drive, but I'm ready.
00:45:06I don't know how to play rap to get the call on.
00:45:53I had some depression the last two days.
00:45:57Just, I don't know, I don't know what it was.
00:45:59Just was down, woe was me.
00:46:03Obviously it's still under construction, you know, it's not like we have the most fun here.
00:46:12Dude, I hung out with that girl last night, she's fucking weird.
00:46:16I've got to tell you.
00:46:19Never again, never again.
00:46:26This is boring up here, really boring.
00:46:33I get up at 4 o'clock every morning, take Adam to work, pick him up at 4 o'clock
00:46:38in the evening, go on a couple of dates here and there, eat out a lot, that's all I do.
00:46:44I worked for that guy, Scott, and he fucking was smoking weed in front of me, you know what I
00:46:48mean?
00:46:49But I mean, it didn't bother me to smoke weed.
00:46:51Weed ain't my thing anyways, drinking ain't my thing.
00:46:55But if it was a gram of dope, it'd probably have been like, you know what I mean?
00:46:58If he was just sitting there banging some dope, I'd probably have been like, you know what I mean?
00:47:02My thing is when I get in the truck or the car, and I put on some music, you know
00:47:08what I mean, just driving down the road, I feel like I need to like smoke a fat blunt, because
00:47:14that's just what I do.
00:47:36Thanks, everybody, for coming out.
00:47:38It's a special day, and this is a special resident that we're graduating today.
00:47:43If every program has to have a heart, that's Ryan.
00:47:46Ryan's the heart of this program.
00:47:48Ryan, if there's anything you'd like to say to the folks.
00:47:51I turn everything into the topic of fucking gratitude, okay?
00:47:59Every day of my life, I'm going to continue to show you gratitude, Jacob's Ladder gratitude.
00:48:07I just love everyone that has anything to do with helping people that everybody else in society looks down on.
00:48:17And just, it's amazing.
00:48:20It's really incredible.
00:48:22And there is not a lot of places like this on the planet.
00:48:25This is a special fucking place.
00:48:29Everyone that comes here has an opportunity that a lot of people don't get.
00:48:35Someone out there is dying right now, you know?
00:48:39And it's horrible.
00:48:41It's going to keep happening.
00:48:43But we don't have to be part of the problem anymore, you know?
00:48:49We don't.
00:48:50Like, this is it.
00:48:52This is, like, today.
00:48:54And that's all we got.
00:49:06My keys right there.
00:49:07You hear that?
00:49:09Ooh.
00:49:10Sounds nice.
00:49:13I think it's this jewel right here.
00:49:18I think the counter space is nice, man.
00:49:20Got a washer and jar, too.
00:49:22It's the Sted-A-Larder shoe.
00:49:23I'm sure you know.
00:49:25Yeah, we're good.
00:49:27We're good.
00:49:27No one left a bottle of Vicodin in here, dude.
00:49:30You got the place, you get the bigger room for now.
00:49:37But me and Joey had a talk one night about my aftercare pump.
00:49:40And he said he thought he was somewhat confident that I could live on my own and probably be
00:49:47better off not having to be in a structured environment as long as I had a good support
00:49:51group, so.
00:49:52There's a real good community of recovery here that I think that he'll fit right into.
00:49:57He'll do it.
00:50:02He'll do it.
00:50:04This is it, man.
00:50:06It's gonna be nice.
00:50:07Oh yeah, it's all right here.
00:50:11Oh.
00:50:12Ooh!
00:50:13I mean, it's all right.
00:50:18I'm doing all right?
00:50:20I'm doing some ranger's, so.
00:50:20I'm doing some ranger.
00:50:23I'm doing some ranger.
00:50:23I'm doing some ranger you're feeling up to the sky.
00:50:30oh god you look like a totally different person you look great all right acceptable responsible
00:50:37and productive
00:51:19i don't want to get out of bed
00:51:25i gotta go pee in a cup
00:51:29story of my life i'm gonna go piss in cups all day i have to pee in a cup i've
00:51:35heard rumors
00:51:36it was about jeff drinking chad told me that he had been out one night and he had given him
00:51:42a
00:51:42breathalyzer and it had come back a little bit positive kind of he wasn't sure but jeff
00:51:49claimed he definitely didn't drink
00:51:52chad called me and said everybody's worried about your recovery and i said why he said
00:51:57you're hanging back out with your family a lot this and that and i'm like i ain't gonna
00:52:02stop my family why would i stop because you guys told me to stop i've been drug tested 18
00:52:07fucking times since i've been up there not even after two months probably breathalyzer probably
00:52:12ten times it's like and no one else has a fucking whole place up there gets that gets that shit
00:52:19it's just me for some odd reason because they think i'll tell them how my sister i'm gonna use
00:52:25yeah man if i want to use i will go use if i want to drink i will go drink
00:52:29i choose not to so
00:52:32i got more important things to worry about i freaking worry about my kids i work you know
00:52:37it's like when i'm doing everything right leave me the fucking bee
00:52:41and they just don't
00:53:24what's going on jay
00:53:35i don't know what's gonna happen man this place is turning into a fucking shit show everybody
00:53:43fucked up covering for each other and drinking in the house doing dumb shit man
00:53:54i've been drinking got caught so i don't know what's happening but the word on the street is
00:54:01that they're shutting this place down so
00:54:11um to figure it out i'm not sure gregory you're just in time man yeah for what we're trying to
00:54:17uh hammer this thing out so what jeff told chad and i was that he was at a girl's house
00:54:24he was
00:54:24coming home in the wee hours of the morning ran off the road hit this person's house and then backed
00:54:30up left the scene unambiguously he has relapsed and other people confirming that this has been daily
00:54:39i think we can bring them back in here and help them what do you think i don't think you
00:54:46can bring
00:54:46all of them in his residence now that they've created a triad of of uh use and um enabling
00:54:55and i think jeff needs a higher level of care it begs the question the kids he's at a legal
00:55:02point
00:55:03where if he doesn't get them in the next 30 days he doesn't get another shot at he loses them
00:55:09permanently that's my biggest fear is if we sit down with jeff and say here's here's your only course
00:55:15of action he he knows what that means and he knows i'll never get my girls back and i think
00:55:22at
00:55:22that moment we just say goodbye to jeff i think he's shooting up tomorrow and dead in a week that
00:55:29is a very realistic scenario and the other part of that is you put those girls in his hands i
00:55:36know
00:55:36they're going to be dead too it's not you're not looking you gotta there's no we're looking at we're
00:55:42looking at a menu of shitty decisions and options and not one of them is right one of them has
00:55:50to be
00:55:50made but not one of them is good
00:56:05all right boys come out wherever you are
00:56:10i apologize to you guys that i wasn't insightful enough to know that this wasn't a good idea for
00:56:16you i thought that even though this wasn't finished and it wasn't ready and we didn't have a manager
00:56:21i thought that you guys had come so far that this was going to work out until we got it
00:56:27finished so
00:56:29you guys were at a disadvantage having said that you guys also fucked up
00:56:34um so we all share some responsibility in what's going on here we've got to figure out how can we
00:56:41make you guys safe in your recovery this place is obviously not it um so that leaves us with what
00:56:48are we going to do next adam i think has already talked with craig about going to minnesota and going
00:56:54to sober living out there and i think that that would be an appropriate option for him is that a
00:56:58plan
00:56:59you're willing to engage yeah okay all right brush we would like to throw this out at you
00:57:06it's the opportunity for you to reenter jacob's ladder and to start at the bottom and work the
00:57:14program again and then start start working on yourself over if you'd like to do that i mean honestly
00:57:20i feel i feel better than i have been in the past couple weeks because i don't have to lie
00:57:25about it
00:57:26anymore i've never ever stuck with it and sat here through the consequences
00:57:31i've always gone you know i have money in my pocket i still do and my first instinct was to
00:57:37run
00:57:38yeah but i didn't i think that was a huge step for me like i told you yesterday i'm proud
00:57:43of you for
00:57:43that man that leaves us with jeff
00:57:49yours is tough man yours is tough because honestly the extent of how far off track you went
00:57:57i mean it's the life you led before the only difference is you're not injecting yet
00:58:03breaking the law lying taking what you want when you want how you want
00:58:08your situation with your girls i've already called kristen antolini and i asked her is there
00:58:13any leeway she has to talk to the judge but she thinks you could have until mid to late january
00:58:21to stretch this out and get yourself some help question is where are you going to get that help
00:58:26what do you want jeff no help with this no help i mean dude i'm already fucked dude i just
00:58:35want my girls
00:58:36dude drinking you know i mean fucked all up and now i ain't gonna get it my it's all gonna
00:58:44be over
00:58:44the time i go there and get out i don't have no time to get on my feet get home
00:58:47it'll be over with
00:58:49anyways so i'm basically fucked all around so i choose to drink a little bit
00:58:55we've seen the best you and we've seen the worst you and right now it's like this fuck it jeff
00:58:59i don't say fuck it if i'm you i say what do i do do the next right thing in
00:59:04front of my face
00:59:06and hope to god that somehow that we can continue to work this
00:59:13this is it man i mean if you run away from this right now you're never getting them back
00:59:19you know that
00:59:42tired of fucking moving
00:59:52yeah i know mom but i'm a big boy you know sometimes you gotta go through these struggles
00:59:57in order to get to the other side
00:59:59well i mean i'm gonna try i'm gonna try and figure it out mom
01:00:23hey man what's up how you been dude i know drinking's like a big fucking deal you know i mean
01:00:29but it's like i don't know i don't know how to say it the right way and you shouldn't drink
01:00:35yeah you shouldn't you know you shouldn't do stupid shit when you've been drinking
01:00:39it's not like it's not like we went out and banged up you know i mean we're back to the
01:00:42same
01:00:42yeah but if your life's becoming unmanageable because of your drinking like as far as like
01:00:47even if it's just scheduling you know like even if it's just not being on time not being
01:00:51home for curfew not being like even if none of the other shit happened like drinking's making
01:00:55that shit happen like or partying the lifestyle in general
01:01:18i moved back in with my mom for a short period of time and forgot about the minneapolis thing
01:01:25and i called my boss and asked if i could still have my job if i had uh you know
01:01:31transportation
01:01:31and a place to stay out here and he said yeah you know get your ass back to work monday
01:01:36i'll see you
01:01:37then and my decision was made right then paying the bills and i like it
01:01:51i think you're awesome
01:01:53come here
01:01:55Yep, yep.
01:02:11It's a lot harder this time than where these were.
01:02:15I don't know what to do.
01:02:17I'm lost in my own little world.
01:02:21But I'll figure it out eventually.
01:02:24God, grant us liberty to accept the things we cannot change,
01:02:30the courage to change the things we can,
01:02:32and the wisdom to know the difference.
01:02:35Just for today.
01:02:36I've asked a friend to read the 12 steps.
01:02:38I'm Rush, and I...
01:02:39Rush.
01:02:40Great, great.
01:02:41One, we minimize the power of our addiction that allows us to become unmanageable.
01:02:44Two, we can believe the power of ourselves to restore our sanity.
01:02:48Eight, we made a list of all persons we had harmed,
01:02:49and became willing to make amends to them all.
01:02:52Nine, we made direct amends to such people wherever possible,
01:02:55who said when they do so it would injure them or others.
01:02:57What are you getting there?
01:02:58You don't get...
01:03:00I don't care, you don't get no more.
01:03:01That can help us.
01:03:03Your group has chosen to drop you.
01:03:06This is the second time up here.
01:03:07No.
01:03:08You have enough.
01:03:09No, you don't spill it everywhere.
01:03:11You ain't getting no more.
01:03:12I'll shut it.
01:03:13I don't care.
01:03:13What you gonna do?
01:03:19Make it a train truck.
01:03:21Don't.
01:03:22Quit.
01:03:25I want to put more water.
01:03:27No, you won't.
01:03:27I'll do it.
01:03:28Go.
01:03:32I'm nowhere near ready for this.
01:03:34I'm not.
01:03:38Here.
01:03:39Then don't eat nothing at all.
01:03:42It's not...
01:03:43You don't get to pick what you want.
01:03:45I was finishing drywall, and the boss shows up, and I have a kid here, and he's like,
01:03:49you gonna work?
01:03:50How's that?
01:03:50I haven't been able to watch her.
01:03:52And he just basically told me he don't need me.
01:03:55He's laying his door and left.
01:03:58Yeah, I need to get out of this town, man.
01:04:00They're in a good home here.
01:04:02They got roof over their head, transportation, someone that feeds them, loves them, you know?
01:04:08I don't got none of that right now.
01:04:10I got the love, but that's about it, you know?
01:04:12Yeah.
01:04:14So...
01:04:15I thought more about getting high these past days than I have since I've been out of
01:04:20Jacob's Ladder.
01:04:30This the old love shack, baby?
01:04:39Yeah, let's shut this door.
01:04:42I hate it.
01:04:43It's so expensive.
01:04:44It's unbelievable.
01:04:54Ten days from now marks my one year that I was in jail.
01:04:59I went to jail ten days from today.
01:05:01Mm-hmm.
01:05:01So it's like, my life is completely flipped around.
01:05:05Yeah.
01:05:06I mean, I was homeless, man.
01:05:08I know, man.
01:05:08I've been around the addiction world for a while.
01:05:11And, you know, I did notice that you look skinnier now.
01:05:16You know what I mean?
01:05:17I mean, I'm pretty fit right now.
01:05:20You know what I mean?
01:05:21I can run up, like, nine flights of stairs.
01:05:24I don't know.
01:05:25I just want to live my life.
01:05:26Yeah.
01:05:27You know?
01:05:27And I have, like, people showing up at my house asking me to come back to Jacob's Ladder
01:05:33because, you know, I failed a drug test for weed.
01:05:37And it's like, dude, so I should never have bought that car from Jacob's Ladder.
01:05:42Did y'all make an agreement on taking piss tests with the vehicle and stuff since he
01:05:47financed it for you?
01:05:47He made me sign a contract that said I have to piss any time he wants me for the next
01:05:51fucking two years.
01:05:53Who does that?
01:05:54For a car.
01:05:56Oh, Kevin?
01:05:56Are you talking about Kevin?
01:05:57Yeah.
01:05:58So, he's like, you failed this drug test.
01:06:01We can't let you keep the Jeep.
01:06:03Bro, you did drugs, though.
01:06:04You know what I'm saying?
01:06:06Like, taking responsibility for, like, what you did.
01:06:09Like...
01:06:09No.
01:06:11That's not it.
01:06:12That's not it, bro.
01:06:15I don't know what to say, man.
01:06:17I just want to live my life.
01:06:19It's all good, man.
01:06:23I tell you what, there's fucking nothing to do up here, though.
01:06:27Yeah, I've noticed that.
01:06:29That Xbox probably has, like, a billion hours on it right now.
01:06:33Yeah.
01:06:35All right, brother, one more hit the road.
01:06:37All right, man.
01:06:38Love you, dude.
01:06:38Love you, too.
01:06:40I'm always here for you, man.
01:06:41If you ever need anything, just hit me up.
01:06:44I got your number.
01:07:06Excuse me.
01:07:06You need medicine, we'll turn right now.
01:07:07It's time.
01:07:08See you.
01:07:09Food feed feed feed feed.
01:07:11Goop.
01:07:11Good boo boo.
01:07:12Good boo-boo.
01:07:12Adex favorite part of the day.
01:07:13It's medicine time.
01:07:24I started depression medication Zoloft I think it's a lot of some of the Z so I
01:07:32got on the antidepressants because like there was no it was going up it was going
01:07:37down you know normal fluctuation and it was just like I just couldn't handle it
01:07:42anymore I was we had like really bad thoughts homicidal suicidal yeah I was
01:07:48diagnosed clinical depression when I was really young but I never really took
01:07:52medication I was self-medicated instead so now I'm like well what do I do I can't
01:07:58self-medicate so I was like yeah let's sign me up for something see how it works
01:08:03I'm just glad I'm not lost I'm still found I mean no one's heard from Jeff
01:08:09really so that scares me I heard he missed a p-test so I don't know what's gonna happen
01:08:15what's going on
01:08:30message M022 the number you have called is no longer in service if you feel you have reached this recording
01:08:38in error please check the number and dial again message M022
01:09:09you gotta walk
01:09:13You're in the lake.
01:09:15Then I've seen it.
01:09:16Yeah, so...
01:09:17All rise.
01:09:19You may be seated.
01:09:21Your Honor, I know that he is in agreement
01:09:24that he made some bad choices,
01:09:25and I think the short of it is,
01:09:27is that because he made a few bad choices,
01:09:30he got scared, and instead of reaching out to help from me,
01:09:34instead of reaching out to help from probation,
01:09:36he just stopped having contact with all of us.
01:09:40So you have something you wish to say?
01:09:43I just want to apologize to the court for my behavior,
01:09:46the way I acted out, and got scared.
01:09:49I apologize to my probation officer for not keeping in contact.
01:09:53I feel like I let everybody down.
01:09:55I truly am sorry if they'd have one more chance at this probation.
01:10:02Would you prefer being in prison, or do you prefer probation?
01:10:07Your Honor, I prefer probation.
01:10:08I definitely don't want to go to prison.
01:10:11I definitely don't want to go to prison.
01:10:13You got to do what I'm telling you today.
01:10:15I mean, this is a serious charge.
01:10:17Yes, sir.
01:10:18Now, if you like hanging out with other prisoners,
01:10:21we can make that arrangement for you.
01:10:24Do you understand that?
01:10:25Yes, sir.
01:10:26All right.
01:10:27I can go pee today if you'd like me to.
01:10:31All right, I'm going to grant probation.
01:10:33I'm going to sanction you for 30 days.
01:10:36Yes, sir.
01:10:37All right.
01:10:38All right.
01:10:39You're welcome.
01:10:43So quick.
01:10:43Yeah, this is a charge of the camera.
01:10:51What about my TV?
01:10:52Did you see that Sean Spicer stuff?
01:10:54Did I see it?
01:10:55No, Jack.
01:10:55I'm in rehab.
01:10:56I didn't fucking see it.
01:10:56Yeah, dog.
01:10:57I'm going to send that to you.
01:10:59Look, this gray hairs I have, I named it Adam.
01:11:03You know how many gray hairs I have?
01:11:05I get a call, and I was at him.
01:11:07And he just opened up, and he said he's been doing heroin,
01:11:10and, you know, didn't want to keep going that way.
01:11:16You know, had a friend that had passed away due to an overdose,
01:11:20and he just didn't know what to do.
01:11:23So I brought him back.
01:11:24What's up, man?
01:11:25She doesn't hang me up.
01:11:27How you doing, brother?
01:11:29Been better.
01:11:30I'm here.
01:11:31Pretty cold right now.
01:11:32You're welcome, boy.
01:11:35Appreciate you taking me back, man.
01:11:37Man, I told you he'd be here for you.
01:11:39Yes, he did.
01:11:39We're always here for you.
01:11:41It doesn't always work the first time down the path, man.
01:11:44Not to ask all these guys, man.
01:11:46I think I just had the wrong ideas.
01:11:49Probably shouldn't have stuck around here.
01:11:51Not the best idea.
01:11:53Definitely shouldn't have gone back to wheeling.
01:11:55No, shouldn't have gone back to wheeling.
01:11:57Shouldn't have took that job either.
01:12:00It was just all drugs and bullshit.
01:12:04I knew that, but sometimes you got to learn the hard way.
01:12:09Yeah, I just had to travel by fire.
01:12:11Fortunately, the fire didn't burn you all the way.
01:12:13No, it didn't.
01:12:16It scorched you.
01:12:25Sunday, I was at the house and I got a text message saying Adam has left Jacob's Ladder.
01:12:32He was adamant.
01:12:34He said his mind was made up.
01:12:37He did not want to go through detox.
01:12:41He said, I appreciate the offer to come back here, but I'm just not ready to quit getting
01:12:48high.
01:12:48And he just packed his bags and walked out.
01:13:20And I was dope sick, you know.
01:13:21And I was there for two nights.
01:13:23I couldn't sleep at all.
01:13:24And I just felt like I didn't give a fuck.
01:13:28I don't know.
01:13:30Heroin, it's just a whole nother level.
01:13:34Unless I'm not ever condoning somebody who got a child.
01:13:37But if you try, you know, you're gonna like it.
01:13:41It's heroin.
01:13:44It's the worst drug on the planet because it's so good, you know.
01:13:48People don't get addicted to heroin because it sucks.
01:13:53You know, my mom like hates me being here.
01:13:56You know, when she found out I was using, it broke her heart.
01:14:05How do you feel right now?
01:14:09It's depressed.
01:14:14I watch a lot of TV.
01:14:17Watch a lot of TV.
01:14:18Have you guys seen Fear the Walking Dead?
01:14:22It's a good TV show.
01:14:38I don't really know what I'm doing right now.
01:14:40I'm just kind of winging it because it's all brand new again.
01:14:44But I feel like it hasn't changed.
01:14:47I feel like I'm right back where I was a year and a half ago.
01:14:51Like, what do you do?
01:14:51Do you throw him out on the street?
01:14:53I did that.
01:14:54It didn't work.
01:14:55It made me worry even more if I was going to get the phone call, you know, that he was
01:14:59found
01:15:00under the bridge or that he was arrested, so maybe the tissue.
01:15:06I don't think I'm going to go that route unless I'm forced to by whatever actions Adam takes.
01:15:15That's going to be kind of the deciding point with that, you know.
01:15:18I mean, obviously, if I come home and my belongings, if I have to buy this damn television for a
01:15:22fourth time, I'm going to be really pissed.
01:15:25Because I've already bought my own television three times.
01:15:30He had it all three weeks ago.
01:15:32His own house, his own vehicle, good job, making good money.
01:15:36Maybe it was too much too fast.
01:15:39What do you think?
01:15:41I don't know.
01:15:42I don't know what I want.
01:15:43But, um, as you can see, you know, things are very far from perfect in my life.
01:15:55Um, but you can't get help until you want it.
01:16:00Oh, he's got to make up his mind.
01:16:05It's very sad.
01:16:25Last one.
01:16:27Rush.
01:16:27You're like my mother, but times four.
01:16:29What are you doing here?
01:16:31What are you doing here?
01:16:33What are you doing here?
01:16:34What are you doing here?
01:16:35What are you doing here?
01:16:36What are you doing here?
01:16:36What are you doing here?
01:16:37Yeah, I only need this one, I think.
01:16:39OK.
01:16:40Books.
01:16:43We have a requirement here you go to five meetings a week.
01:16:46That can be AA or NA.
01:16:48Um, we have two in-house meetings a week.
01:16:51Everybody in the house participates in a service activity in the community once a month.
01:16:55We have a curfew here.
01:16:57I still want that accountability, you know?
01:17:00I want to be sure that when I do integrate into society from this next stepping stone,
01:17:05Morgantown Silver Living, that I will have what I need to succeed in life outside of a recovery
01:17:10house or a rehab.
01:17:11And this is where I need to be.
01:17:23Anything else?
01:17:24I think that's it.
01:17:25All right.
01:17:50Okay, welcome to the Friendship House.
01:17:52This is the 10 a.m. Substance Abuse Group.
01:17:55The topic for discussion today is chemical dependency, but we can also talk about recovery
01:18:00in any form.
01:18:01I'm Ryan.
01:18:04I'm Pam.
01:18:05Hey, Pam.
01:18:06I'm Sean.
01:18:06Hey, Sean.
01:18:07I'm Heather.
01:18:07Heather.
01:18:08Hey, Steven.
01:18:10So if there's problems you want to discuss and overcome, we're here to help you.
01:18:14You're not going to get judged by me.
01:18:15You're not going to get judged by Keith.
01:18:17A lot of us struggle the same way.
01:18:19Today would have been 47 days.
01:18:21That's great.
01:18:22But I kind of went back one day.
01:18:25Slipped already?
01:18:26I slipped.
01:18:27I mean, did something happen when you had your slip, though, where, like, the next day
01:18:30you were like, oh, well, I shouldn't have drank because this happened.
01:18:34When my brain starts going a million miles an hour, it just doesn't function right.
01:18:38Well, don't be living in that shame and guilt because today you're here and you're in group
01:18:43and you're not drunk.
01:18:45And that's a big deal.
01:18:46There's a lot of different aspects to recovery.
01:18:49I thought you wanted to pick and choose what you want to do and not do.
01:18:53Hey, tell me.
01:18:53Take what you want and leave to rest.
01:18:55I know that's true.
01:18:57Yeah.
01:18:57Exactly.
01:18:58So we can do wellness plans after group.
01:19:01Any goal you have that relates to your physical, mental or spiritual well-being, we're willing
01:19:08to help with, so.
01:19:25Surprise, man.
01:19:27You look good, buddy.
01:19:29Thanks, man.
01:19:29I like your hair.
01:19:32You look amazing.
01:19:34Working out?
01:19:35Nope.
01:19:35What's up?
01:19:37Oh, my God.
01:19:39I thought we were early.
01:19:42Oh, it's not going to be clean by eye.
01:19:44Come on.
01:19:44Come on.
01:19:46We're going to do campfire funny songs again.
01:19:49Flowers of June, church bells of noon, a young King Mises throne, you know, sick boys die
01:20:01alone.
01:20:01I had a ride, just in time to say goodbye.
01:20:10He was a friend of mine.
01:20:16He was a friend of mine.
01:20:19Thank you, Jack.
01:20:23It's a disgusting trend.
01:20:27Wife send out a spoon and syringe but it goes to show you reap what you sow and we all
01:20:33know that sick boys die alone.
01:20:39Sick boy's died alone
01:20:45He was a friend of mine
01:20:53I have to have metatarsal boots tomorrow
01:20:57If you want to go down with me
01:20:59And help me buy them
01:21:01Or something like that
01:21:02That's fine
01:21:03But I'd rather buy your boots
01:21:05Than I would give you money
01:21:08Starting a new job tomorrow
01:21:10Got another fabricator position
01:21:13Starts out at 13 bucks an hour
01:21:16I'm hopeful
01:21:17He's back on the suboxone
01:21:19To go to the clinic
01:21:22That's a good thing
01:21:23I'd rather be under supervision
01:21:27With the suboxone
01:21:28Than out doing heroin
01:21:30So it's a lesser of two evils
01:21:32Seems to be doing okay on it
01:21:33He looks better
01:21:35Doesn't have the big black circles under his eyes
01:21:37Isn't passing out mid-sentence
01:21:39Those kind of
01:21:40I wasn't passing out mid-sentence
01:21:41I know you are
01:21:42Yeah, you are
01:21:44You are
01:21:46But I think he's doing pretty good
01:21:48This week we're on the right track
01:21:49Yeah, this week
01:21:50Yeah, we'll see you by next
01:21:53That's what I said
01:21:54I'm hopefully optimistic
01:21:56Cautiously optimistic
01:21:57Maybe a better way to put it
01:22:10Yeah, these are right here too
01:22:26So technically only people he has that live here are his sister, the next wife and her family
01:22:32Yes
01:22:32And they're with her parents
01:22:34The kids
01:22:35Her and her mom
01:22:36Poor kids
01:22:39Wow
01:22:40It's awful how they just like let people be released
01:22:43Anyway, I mean
01:22:44I don't know how people are supposed to get on a good footing
01:22:46And follow rules of probation
01:22:48When they don't have any resources
01:22:50And they're just released
01:22:51At North Central
01:22:53What's going on, man?
01:22:54Hey
01:22:55How you doing?
01:22:55Good
01:22:55How are you?
01:22:56Good
01:22:57Hey, man
01:22:57How are you?
01:22:59Good
01:22:59What is a plan?
01:23:00What is your ultimate plan right now?
01:23:02Because we have nothing
01:23:03Um
01:23:05No, I really want to go out of town, man
01:23:07Not going much
01:23:09No, I don't have a plan
01:23:10We can't have that
01:23:12Well
01:23:12I just
01:23:13You got it
01:23:14You have to
01:23:14When you leave here
01:23:15I can't be in Morgantown
01:23:15Morgantown's a
01:23:16Well, you are
01:23:17Bad place for me
01:23:18Okay
01:23:18You are going to have to be in Morgantown right now
01:23:21And you're going to have
01:23:22When you leave here
01:23:23You need to go directly to the Bartlett house
01:23:25Make sure you got somewhere to stay tonight
01:23:26And then you got to hit the ground running
01:23:28Trying to find employment
01:23:30I'm a three-time family
01:23:31You know how hard it is to get a job, man
01:23:33I put in every factory restaurant
01:23:35From Saverton to Star City last time
01:23:37And no one will take me
01:23:38I mean, man
01:23:39You got to look at it
01:23:40You pretty much
01:23:42Fumbled the ball
01:23:43You're in the situation you are
01:23:44Mm-hmm
01:23:46Your wife
01:23:47Is in the situation she's in
01:23:49Pretty much your kids are just in limbo
01:23:51Right now
01:23:52Neither one of you guys are bad than 100
01:23:55So what is our treatment plan for you going to be?
01:23:58Going to any meetings?
01:23:59Yeah, definitely
01:24:00Do not assume any intoxicants
01:24:02No liquor
01:24:02No synthetic drugs
01:24:04No K2
01:24:05No bath salts
01:24:06No prescriptions
01:24:08Not of yours
01:24:09If you decided you want to get on Subutex
01:24:11Or Suboxone
01:24:12Subutex is no longer allowed
01:24:14Setting up for failure
01:24:15You know what I mean?
01:24:17I can't
01:24:18I can't be in this town
01:24:20I can't do that
01:24:21I can't do that
01:24:24It's your brother
01:24:25Jeff, I just got out today
01:24:26They let me out
01:24:27I was sorry to get out tomorrow
01:24:28But it was today
01:24:30I don't know what to do
01:24:33They want me to go stay at the Butler house
01:24:34But I ain't about to do that
01:24:37They let my drug addict stay there too
01:24:38Who are those drug addicts?
01:24:40I mean, why do I want to go stay there?
01:24:48I don't know what to do
01:24:52How many Inter
01:24:53Any distractions
01:24:57I don't know why
01:24:58I don't know why
01:24:59I've never burned down
01:24:59But I don't know why
01:25:00I don't know what to do
01:25:01Hey Joe, this is Jeff
01:25:03Hey Joe, this is Jeff
01:25:04I thought I was about to come back and trick us better
01:25:06My father and I, uh, I need it, dude.
01:25:09My life's getting unmanned.
01:25:13I just picked up and did a lot of cocaine today, tonight.
01:25:20What's his life?
01:25:26Give me a call.
01:25:28Love you, buddy.
01:25:29Goodbye.
01:25:35All right.
01:25:36Old dad's back.
01:25:48What's up, brother?
01:25:50How you doing?
01:25:52You're doing better.
01:25:53Yeah.
01:25:54Well, we're just happy you're alive, dude, because Friday night.
01:25:57If it hadn't have been for that person, the random person who was unnamed that was driving
01:26:03by, that saw the people that you were using with pouring water on your face, smacking you
01:26:08and shaking you, who knows if they would have called EMS, dude, but that one person called
01:26:12the EMS.
01:26:13You know, so you're heroes out there, man.
01:26:16Just a random person that drove by and saw you needed help and made a call.
01:26:19They didn't have to do that.
01:26:21You'd just be another drug addict dead.
01:26:24You know?
01:26:25People on Facebook saying, let them die.
01:26:56Before they finally join, what's going on?
01:26:56Well, can we tell you about drivers?
01:27:22It's not a denoun reconnaissance.