00:00If you want to get better at work, here's one way to get better at reading the room.
00:04Everyone has blind spots. Maybe you interrupt people without realizing it.
00:08Maybe the feedback you give is a little bit too harsh.
00:12Maybe you stay quiet when you have something really valuable to say.
00:15The problem is you probably can't see those habits yourself.
00:19Pamela Meyer is a deception expert and the author of How to Read the Room.
00:23She says that uncomfortable feedback is essential for growth,
00:27and her advice is to go to a few people from different parts of your life and ask for honest
00:32feedback.
00:32She said that it should be someone who knows you well,
00:35but not someone who has an interest in making you look especially good or especially bad.
00:40So not your ex, not your mom.
00:42Ask them questions like, what's my biggest blind spot?
00:45How does my communication style come across to other people?
00:49If I were to change one thing about how I interact with people, what would it be?
00:53Then comes the hard part.
00:55Don't defend yourself.
00:56Ask for an example and thank them.
00:59Then start to look for patterns in what people are telling you.
01:02And there's research behind this.
01:04A 2018 study published in the Journal of Management
01:07looked at over 2,600 people across 515 teams.
01:11Researchers compared how people rated their own contributions
01:15with how their teammates rated them.
01:17The idea was to measure how well people understood their own strengths and weaknesses.
01:21They found that teams with more self-aware members work more effectively together
01:25and perform better overall.
01:27So here's today's challenge.
01:29Pick three people and ask them for honest feedback.
01:32If you hear the same thing more than once, pick one behavior to work on.
01:35Maybe it's interrupting people less.
01:38Maybe it's being more direct.
01:39Keep a log of all the feedback that you get.
01:41And in a few weeks, ask those people if they've noticed a difference.
01:44Because getting better at reading the room means first, getting a better read on yourself.
01:49About yourself.
01:49Number 5
