- 12 minutes ago
Rejected by My Crush Kissed by the Bad Boy COMPLETE HD
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:02I've been in love with Ethan for three years.
00:00:05Good morning texts, good night texts, saving him seats, bringing him food, birthday gifts.
00:00:11Everyone knew. I was the only one still pretending he didn't.
00:00:14I thought three years of waiting was finally about to pay off, with some romantic ending.
00:00:19At the very least, with all those people watching, I didn't think he'd humiliate me.
00:00:22Autumn, I've always thought of you like a little sister.
00:00:25Ethan, come on, it's just a kiss.
00:00:27A sister? So you text your sister good morning and good night every day?
00:00:31Ask your sister for gifts on holidays? Call her whenever you're upset?
00:00:35He knew I loved him. He just didn't love me enough.
00:00:38I don't want to be your sister.
00:00:39For one awful second, I felt like a clown on a giant screen.
00:00:44Three years of loving him, brushed aside with one word, sister.
00:00:47I wasn't trying to get revenge on Ethan.
00:00:49I just suddenly got tired of waiting for someone else to decide whether I was worth loving.
00:00:55I chased Ethan for three years and barely dared to touch his hands.
00:01:00Then one minute after he called me his sister, I kissed a complete stranger in front of the entire arena.
00:01:05That night, I got my heart broken and accidentally made out with the most dangerous guy on campus.
00:01:14You getting up? Or spending the night on my lap?
00:01:18My legs aren't working.
00:01:24My mind was blank. All I remembered was how soft his lips were.
00:01:28And how wild his eyes looked.
00:01:30How did those two things go together?
00:01:35You owe me a chair.
00:01:37Okay.
00:01:39Then it hit me.
00:01:40I just kissed Jace Walker.
00:01:43Fights.
00:01:44Bar nights.
00:01:45A different girl every week.
00:01:47He was practically the campus feed.
00:01:50What had I just done?
00:01:56You kissed a guy like that in front of thousands of people.
00:01:59Are you insane?
00:02:01I don't even know him.
00:02:03You don't know him?
00:02:04He smokes?
00:02:06He's covered in tattoos?
00:02:07He gets into fights?
00:02:09That's your type now?
00:02:11Rejecting me hadn't bothered him.
00:02:13But kissing someone else?
00:02:15Apparently, that was an insult.
00:02:19Then I guess that's my type.
00:02:21He was furious.
00:02:23But he still hadn't asked if I was okay.
00:02:26Just go.
00:02:28Whatever you do, stay away from Jace.
00:02:32If you don't love me, why do you care who I kiss?
00:02:36Three years of putting him first.
00:02:39I still couldn't say it out loud.
00:02:41The kiss cam wasn't what broke my heart.
00:02:43It was watching him leave when I needed him most.
00:02:47I thought I was finally walking away from Ethan.
00:02:50I didn't know I was already moving toward Jace.
00:02:55Who the hell said I wanted you to like me?
00:02:59I'd had the nerve to kiss him five minutes ago.
00:03:01Now I wanted to disappear.
00:03:03I instinctively stepped back toward Ethan,
00:03:06only to realize he'd already left.
00:03:08You crushed it you?
00:03:10Good.
00:03:11Now we can get with our problem.
00:03:14I...
00:03:15Do we know each other?
00:03:17How the hell do I get this off?
00:03:20How the hell do I get this off?
00:03:22How the hell do I get this off?
00:03:24This... should work.
00:03:26Well, do it.
00:03:29You want me to do it?
00:03:32What, you expect me to stare into a mirror and wipe my own mouth?
00:03:37I just wanted to get it over with.
00:03:39I just wanted to get it over with.
00:03:40But the second I leaned in, all I could think about was that kiss.
00:03:45My face got hotter.
00:03:47My hands started shaking.
00:03:52For a second I thought I'd imagined it.
00:03:54Then he grabbed my wrist.
00:03:58How long does it take you to wipe one mouth?
00:04:00Throw this out for me.
00:04:01The cigarette was cold, but my palm was sweating.
00:04:03That was the first time I realized danger wasn't always him yelling at me.
00:04:06Sometimes it was just him standing way too close.
00:04:09Looking back, every little thing that confused me was pushing me forward.
00:04:12I just couldn't tell yet whether I was running away from Ethan or already moving toward Jace.
00:04:19Autumn, wake up.
00:04:25The first thing I learned when I woke up wasn't how to survive heartbreak.
00:04:30It was that I'd gone viral.
00:04:33The video isn't even the worst part.
00:04:36Some girl says she's Jace's girlfriend and that you stole her boyfriend.
00:04:41I didn't know.
00:04:42I know.
00:04:44But they don't.
00:04:48Do you have any idea how infamous Jace is?
00:04:51People say the tattoo on his waist is his foreign ex's name.
00:04:56Ex?
00:04:57He has enough exes to start a whole club.
00:05:02I really don't feel like investigating his waist right now.
00:05:05Didn't look that way last night.
00:05:08Ethan was still the one I was actually heartbroken over.
00:05:11But everyone kept talking about Jace.
00:05:14Like I wasn't even allowed to fall apart in peace.
00:05:19Autumn.
00:05:20That girl who claimed she was Jace's girlfriend deleted her post and changed her status to ex-girlfriend.
00:05:28They broke up?
00:05:29Looks like it.
00:05:32I shot straight up.
00:05:34One impulsive kiss had actually ended somebody else's relationship.
00:05:41If he really hated you, you wouldn't have made it home in one piece last night.
00:05:46Don't read into it.
00:05:50I told them not to read into it.
00:05:52But I couldn't stop replaying everything.
00:05:54He was rude, sure.
00:05:56But from beginning to end, he'd never actually hurt me.
00:06:02Either way, his girlfriend dumped him because of me.
00:06:05I had to clear this up.
00:06:14I stared at the words, one heartbreak, and my chest went cold.
00:06:20He knew exactly why my heart was broken.
00:06:24Yet he sounded like he was commenting on some drama that had nothing to do with him.
00:06:28Ethan, you know who I've liked this whole time.
00:06:31What are you trying to do here?
00:06:35I would have preferred a clean, I don't like you, to those three dots.
00:06:39They felt like they were laughing at three years of me, making a fool of myself.
00:06:45We're not right for each other.
00:06:46And I never told you to go fall for some asshole.
00:06:49That was the moment I stopped wanting to explain myself.
00:06:52He'd happily accepted my feelings for years without ever defining us.
00:06:56Now that I took one step away, suddenly he thought he got to choose the next guy for me.
00:07:02Where are you going?
00:07:04To fix something I need to fix.
00:07:10I didn't stop loving Ethan overnight.
00:07:13Three years isn't an off switch.
00:07:15But for the first time, I admitted that loving someone
00:07:19shouldn't mean constantly guessing, waiting, and making excuses for them.
00:07:24I went to find Jace just to apologize.
00:07:27At least, that's what I honestly believed at the time.
00:07:29I unpinned Ethan's chat, but it was still sitting at the top.
00:07:33The difference was, for once, I didn't run back and add, that's not what I meant.
00:07:39Maybe that wasn't fully moving on.
00:07:42But it was the first time I stopped chasing his silence for an answer.
00:07:48Um, is Jace here?
00:07:51Inside. Just finished practice.
00:07:54Thanks.
00:07:55Wait, he's...
00:07:59Jace?
00:08:00Are you in here?
00:08:07My first instinct wasn't to run.
00:08:10It was to look for that famous tattoo on his waist.
00:08:12The one everyone said was some foreign ex-girlfriend's name.
00:08:18Where exactly are you looking?
00:08:20Sorry, I shouldn't be looking.
00:08:22Then why cover your eyes?
00:08:29You were staring pretty hard a second ago.
00:08:32I wasn't staring.
00:08:35Sure.
00:08:39Sweetheart, your nose is bleeding.
00:08:42What?
00:08:43Do you have tissues?
00:08:45Nope.
00:08:48It's new.
00:08:49Use it, then toss it.
00:08:54This looks expensive.
00:08:56Cheaper than your blood.
00:08:58I'd never gotten a nosebleed from looking at a man before.
00:09:01The worst part?
00:09:03He looked at me like I was the problem.
00:09:09Bro, that fast?
00:09:11You had time for a wardrobe change.
00:09:13Efficient, maybe a little too efficient.
00:09:16No, that's not...
00:09:18Shut the hell up.
00:09:20All of you.
00:09:21He snapped at everyone else.
00:09:23But when he looked back at me, he didn't snap at me.
00:09:27Weirdly, I relaxed.
00:09:29And finally remembered why I'd come.
00:09:34Jace, one more thing.
00:09:35Talk.
00:09:37What happened at the game was a misunderstanding.
00:09:39Because of me, you and your girlfriend broke up.
00:09:41I'm sorry.
00:09:44Broke up?
00:09:45Which one?
00:09:46Your girlfriend?
00:09:47The one from the bar?
00:09:49That ended ages ago.
00:09:50Maybe the influencer?
00:09:51I thought it was the yoga instructor.
00:09:52Do you guys ever shut up?
00:09:55I just stood there stunned.
00:09:57I'd spent an entire day feeling guilty over his girlfriend.
00:10:01And he couldn't even remember which girl I meant.
00:10:03Fine.
00:10:04Got it.
00:10:05Misunderstanding?
00:10:05Anything else?
00:10:07She still broke up with you because of me.
00:10:09That's on me.
00:10:09I can make it up to you.
00:10:11Make it up to me?
00:10:12I can replace the shirt, buy you dinner, whatever you need.
00:10:16You think I'm hurting for a free meal?
00:10:18If he just asked me to pay him back, I would have felt relieved.
00:10:20But the less he cared, the more I felt like I owed him.
00:10:28You used this to stop a nosebleed?
00:10:31Autumn, this limited edition shirt is worth thousands.
00:10:37It's Jace's.
00:10:38He told me to throw it away after I used it.
00:10:42Throw it away?
00:10:43Is he insane or is he into you?
00:10:47I'd gone there hoping to settle things with Jace.
00:10:51Instead, one ridiculously expensive t-shirt gave me another reason to see him.
00:11:05I washed it.
00:11:06I didn't put it in the dryer.
00:11:07I was afraid to shrink.
00:11:14I washed it twice.
00:11:15It's clean.
00:11:17Did I say it was dirty?
00:11:21She actually washed it for you.
00:11:23Man, your last girlfriend never got this kind of treatment.
00:11:27Shut up.
00:11:29Every mention of a girlfriend reminded me how messy his dating history was.
00:11:34I should have backed away.
00:11:36But I still owed him an answer.
00:11:40You still haven't told me how I'm supposed to make it up to you.
00:11:44You still hung up on that?
00:11:47If I messed up, I should take responsibility.
00:11:53Are you always this easy to mess with?
00:11:55Yes.
00:11:55This isn't about whether I'm easy to fool.
00:12:00You kissed him, cost him a girlfriend, and ruined a shirt.
00:12:04How about this?
00:12:05Lose one, replace one.
00:12:08Replace one what?
00:12:11A girlfriend.
00:12:14Where am I supposed to find a whole person to give him?
00:12:19You seriously want to replace her?
00:12:23If I really caused the breakup?
00:12:26You hate owing people that much?
00:12:29Ethan always called me naive.
00:12:31Maybe he was right.
00:12:33I took people so seriously.
00:12:36Even an obvious joke felt like a debt I had to repay.
00:12:40She's a girl.
00:12:42You're a girl.
00:12:43Honestly, just give them yourself.
00:12:48Me?
00:12:50Yeah.
00:12:51You cost him one girlfriend, so pay him back with yourself.
00:12:59I should have said absolutely not without even thinking.
00:13:02I've always thought of you like a little sister.
00:13:05Three years of chasing Ethan, and he'd never once chosen me.
00:13:09Jace, less than a week, a filthy mouth, a terrible temper.
00:13:14But when things got embarrassing, he hadn't left me to deal with it alone.
00:13:19Ignore them, they're talking crap.
00:13:24Wait.
00:13:27What if... what if I really could?
00:13:39Do you even know what dating me means?
00:13:43Dinner. Dates.
00:13:45Have you ever dated anyone?
00:13:47No.
00:13:48So I'm your practice run?
00:13:49No.
00:13:51I just...
00:13:51Don't want to keep loving someone who's never going to choose me.
00:13:57This wasn't about making Ethan jealous.
00:14:00And nobody was daring me into it.
00:14:03I wondered what might happen if I chose someone completely different.
00:14:06For myself.
00:14:09Think it through first.
00:14:11Don't come crying tomorrow saying I tricked you.
00:14:14He gave me a way out.
00:14:17And somehow, that only made me think about him more.
00:14:22Maybe I really did want to walk toward him.
00:14:25Still haven't run away?
00:14:28You told me to think it through yesterday.
00:14:31And?
00:14:33So, what'd I do?
00:14:38You sure about this?
00:14:40I don't drink.
00:14:41I don't drink.
00:14:42I barely go to parties.
00:14:44I like being back at my dorm before midnight.
00:14:47And I hate mind games.
00:14:51Anything else?
00:14:53If we date, I want it to be real.
00:14:57If it stops working later, we'll deal with that then.
00:15:01Not much courage.
00:15:03A lot of demands.
00:15:05Then you can say no.
00:15:08You said I was saying no.
00:15:12Unit 208.
00:15:14What does that mean?
00:15:17Let's get one thing straight.
00:15:19I don't do the holding hands and nothing else kind of relationship.
00:15:23If you really want to know what dating me means,
00:15:26come find me.
00:15:30I didn't say I was coming tonight.
00:15:32And I didn't say you had to.
00:15:35Come when you've made up your mind.
00:15:37The fob gets you upstairs.
00:15:41Unit 208.
00:15:42Don't knock on the wrong door.
00:15:43I never said I was going.
00:15:48Every rational part of me said,
00:15:50give it back.
00:15:51Go to your dorm.
00:15:53Stay away from him.
00:15:56I chased Ethan for three years.
00:15:59Always waiting for his answer.
00:16:02This time.
00:16:03For the first time,
00:16:04the choice was mine.
00:16:09What are you doing here?
00:16:11Returning a shirt.
00:16:14I hadn't expected him to press 2 too.
00:16:24Lily.
00:16:25Ethan's crush for three years.
00:16:27And the only girl Jace had ever publicly called his girlfriend.
00:16:32It's cold outside.
00:16:37Why are you hanging around people like this again?
00:16:40He could chase Lily for three years.
00:16:43But somehow,
00:16:44he still thought he could judge who I liked.
00:16:49You've known him for what?
00:16:50A few days?
00:16:51None of your business.
00:16:54I'd never said that to Ethan before.
00:16:57It felt better than I expected.
00:17:02I'd expected her to flaunt Ethan.
00:17:04Instead, she looked at me like I'd taken something she wanted.
00:17:07Who's at the door? Come in.
00:17:15The guy I'd loved for three years was right there,
00:17:18taking care of someone else.
00:17:22But the guy I'd only known for days was the one I wanted to walk toward.
00:17:29Look who's here.
00:17:30Perfect. We need one more.
00:17:34I don't know how to play.
00:17:35Then Jace pays when you lose.
00:17:40I thought Jace would use the game as an excuse to mess with me.
00:17:44Instead, he just slept behind us.
00:17:46Until I was almost out of chips.
00:17:51You're this jumpy and you still came to Unit 208?
00:17:54I thought he'd just take over for me.
00:17:57Don't call this one.
00:17:59But he never took over my hand.
00:18:01He just leaned in and told me what to do,
00:18:03one move at a time.
00:18:05Every time he got close, my whole back went stiff.
00:18:09Why do you keep sniffing her?
00:18:10You shooting a perfume commercial or something?
00:18:13Shut up.
00:18:15He said he didn't mess with good girls.
00:18:18But whenever one of his friends pushed a joke too far,
00:18:21he shut it down immediately.
00:18:24I'll get a ride back.
00:18:27This late?
00:18:29Guest room.
00:18:30Door locks from the inside.
00:18:32That didn't match the stories about Jace at all.
00:18:35According to Campus Gossip,
00:18:37girls who came home with him never ended up in the guest room.
00:18:40Jace, you vegan now?
00:18:43Get lost.
00:18:45That was when I first realized how different Jace's mouth was from his actions.
00:18:49He talked like trouble,
00:18:51but somehow he was always leaving me an exit.
00:18:53For three years, I checked Lily, Ethan, and Jace's accounts like it was a full-time job.
00:19:00For three years, I checked Lily, Ethan, and Jace's accounts like it was a full-time job.
00:19:07That day, for the first time, I unfollowed all three.
00:19:15You and Jace are a bad match.
00:19:18Stay away from him.
00:19:20I wasn't even planning to.
00:19:23I can give Ethan to you.
00:19:25Isn't he the one you wanted?
00:19:29He's not a prize.
00:19:31And you don't get to give him to anyone.
00:19:36You've been watching us this whole time.
00:19:41I'd accidentally liked posts on all three of their pages, and she had screenshots.
00:19:47I wanted to crawl into a hole, but I hated the way she talked like she owned everyone even more.
00:19:54I used to like Ethan.
00:19:55That was my business.
00:19:57I don't anymore.
00:19:59Good.
00:19:59And Jace?
00:20:01He's not someone you get to touch.
00:20:04Lily talked like she was offering me a great deal.
00:20:07I take Ethan.
00:20:08She takes Jace.
00:20:10What Ethan wanted, or what Jace wanted, didn't seem to matter to her at all.
00:20:16You don't know Jace.
00:20:18He's not the kind of guy who stops for anyone.
00:20:23Then why are you so scared of me getting close to him?
00:20:27I'd only meant it as a comeback.
00:20:29But for the first time, I watched Lily lose control.
00:20:34And suddenly I started wondering,
00:20:36was I really just like every other girl to Jace?
00:20:44For three years, I'd checked whether Ethan was coming back,
00:20:47and whether Lily was getting closer to him.
00:20:51The first time I unfollowed them all,
00:20:53I realized loving someone wasn't supposed to feel this exhausting.
00:20:57Good.
00:20:58Keep it that way.
00:21:00And remember your place.
00:21:04I used to hate confrontation.
00:21:07But that day,
00:21:08I realized I was done letting other people decide
00:21:12who I was allowed to love.
00:21:16Wanna kiss me that badly?
00:21:18Next time, I'll let you get your fill.
00:21:21Oh my god!
00:21:22He's flirting with you!
00:21:23Guys like him are professionals.
00:21:25Have fun if you want, just don't catch feelings.
00:21:29I know.
00:21:31I said I knew.
00:21:32My heart clearly missed the Memes.
00:21:35Still saying you don't like him?
00:21:37Your ears are bright red.
00:21:39I'm embarrassed.
00:21:41I'm embarrassed.
00:21:41Embarrassed?
00:21:42You liked Ethan for three years and never turned this red.
00:21:45I had no comeback.
00:21:47The scariest thing wasn't that Jace knew how to flirt.
00:21:52It was that I wanted him to keep going.
00:22:01I knew he was trouble.
00:22:03Everyone said guys like him were only good for something casual.
00:22:07But suddenly I wanted to know what would happen if I stopped waiting to be picked, and picked someone I
00:22:12wanted for once.
00:22:15What would happen if I actually dated him?
00:22:18It could go horribly wrong.
00:22:21But I'd already wasted three years on someone safe.
00:22:25Maybe one bad decision wouldn't kill me.
00:22:28Then it hit me.
00:22:30For three years, the thing I'd done best was wait.
00:22:34Wait for Ethan to make a move.
00:22:37Wait for Ethan to turn around.
00:22:40Wait for someone else to decide whether I was worth choosing.
00:22:45This time, I didn't want to wait.
00:22:54Why'd you call me down here?
00:22:57To date you.
00:23:00You sleep at all last night?
00:23:04Didn't you say I could pay you back with a girlfriend?
00:23:07Fine. I'll pay.
00:23:11I told you I don't mess with girls like you.
00:23:15The second time I kissed him, I knew exactly what I was doing.
00:23:19Kiss me and run?
00:23:22So?
00:23:23Are we dating or not?
00:23:26You're not scared I'll get bored of you?
00:23:30Then get bored when you get bored.
00:23:33Fine.
00:23:36The first kiss at the game was me running away.
00:23:38This one was different.
00:23:40I was painfully aware of everything.
00:23:42My heartbeat, his breath, even the people walking past us gasping.
00:23:47Last chance. You can still back out.
00:23:50I'm not backing out.
00:23:53And from now on, don't use Ethan to piss me off.
00:23:59When have I ever done that?
00:24:01Better be never.
00:24:03It has always been never.
00:24:06He agreed like it was a joke, but his one condition sounded way too serious.
00:24:12I didn't understand why yet.
00:24:15Think it through.
00:24:16Dating me doesn't come with a return policy.
00:24:19Then let's date first.
00:24:23I thought I'd finally learned how to have a relationship without getting attached.
00:24:27Turns out, I wasn't even the first one to fall.
00:24:33You actually came.
00:24:37Don't girlfriends bring breakfast?
00:24:42Stop bringing it.
00:24:43One day I'll just move you in and save you the trip.
00:24:48If you're not eating it, I'm throwing it away.
00:24:50Who said you could actually throw it?
00:24:56For three years, I'd imagined Ethan finally turning around.
00:25:01When I actually saw him announce he was dating Lily, it hurt way less than I'd expected.
00:25:07I just saw Ethan and Lily's relationship post, and for the first time, my heart didn't break.
00:25:18Aren't you the guy who hates girls showing up at your place in the morning?
00:25:22She's different.
00:25:25I didn't hear that part.
00:25:29What's with that face?
00:25:30I care about the environment too, okay?
00:25:33With Ethan, I survived on tiny scraps of attention just to prove I hadn't wasted my feelings.
00:25:39With Jace, I learned what it felt like when someone responded clearly.
00:25:51You and Jace are together?
00:25:54He actually agreed to that?
00:25:57You just went public with Ethan, and the first thing you do is ask about my boyfriend?
00:26:04Jace and I grew up together.
00:26:06We dated before.
00:26:08All those girls after me?
00:26:11He only dated them to get back at me.
00:26:15So the rumors weren't completely made up.
00:26:20Worse.
00:26:21She said it like I was just a side character in their love story.
00:26:28I'm the only one in his heart.
00:26:30You think you're special?
00:26:33When he gets bored of you, it'll hurt worse than this.
00:26:39Then I'll deal with it if we break up.
00:26:42I'm only with Ethan to make Jace jealous.
00:26:46Does Ethan know that?
00:26:48Why does that matter?
00:26:50He's the one who insists on liking me.
00:26:54For the first time, I felt bad not only for the three years I'd wasted, but for Ethan too.
00:27:04If you keep trying to take Jace from me, don't expect me to treat Ethan well.
00:27:11You are seriously messed up.
00:27:18Still, Lily had hit the exact fear I couldn't shake.
00:27:22That Jace would get bored of me.
00:27:25I pretended I didn't care, but part of me believed her.
00:27:30She'd known him since childhood.
00:27:32I'd known him less than a month.
00:27:34She had history.
00:27:35I had rumors.
00:27:40Every girl he dated after me was just to see if I'd get jealous.
00:27:47Then are you jealous now?
00:27:50This time, she didn't answer.
00:27:57The second I saw Jace's message, I realized I couldn't keep using Lily as my source of truth about him.
00:28:06Autumn?
00:28:09Can we go back to how things were?
00:28:13Once, hearing that would have kept me awake all night from happiness.
00:28:17Now it just made me tired.
00:28:20No.
00:28:22Because of Jace?
00:28:24Because I don't want to be your little sister anymore.
00:28:30I didn't look back.
00:28:32What's with that face? Who pissed you off?
00:28:35No one.
00:28:38Ethan?
00:28:41It's written all over your face.
00:28:45Almond milk latte.
00:28:46Almond milk latte.
00:28:47One pump of sugar.
00:28:48My favorite.
00:28:50He'd never remembered in three years.
00:28:53Now, suddenly, he did.
00:28:57I'm just worried Jace is going to hurt you.
00:29:00Did it ever occur to you that you hurt me first?
00:29:05It was the first time I saw Ethan look genuinely hurt and I didn't immediately rush to make him feel
00:29:10better.
00:29:16If you don't want to talk, don't.
00:29:21Just sit here.
00:29:24Ethan always wanted to tell me what was right.
00:29:27Jace was the first person who let me not explain anything at all.
00:29:31Crystal Cave this weekend?
00:29:33I'm in. You coming?
00:29:36I need to study.
00:29:39What, too embarrassed to be seen with guys like us?
00:29:41No. I actually have an exam.
00:29:45Then go date some genius.
00:29:49His temper made no sense.
00:29:51Somehow, I still packed a bag and joined that trip.
00:29:54After Jace stormed off, I decided I wasn't going.
00:30:01That was when I realized Jace wasn't mad because I ruined the mood.
00:30:05He actually wanted me there.
00:30:06With his friends. In his world.
00:30:09Wait, you're seriously spending the night with them?
00:30:11It's just a trip.
00:30:12With Jace?
00:30:14I still have to study.
00:30:16I was still nervous.
00:30:18But I was more afraid that we'd barely started and I'd ruin it by doing what I always did.
00:30:22Backing away.
00:30:24I made it into their car.
00:30:25But Jace was still mad.
00:30:32Trying to bribe me?
00:30:34Trying to keep you from dying of thirst.
00:30:38Relax.
00:30:38I'm harder to kill than that.
00:30:47Neither of us apologized.
00:30:49But I knew he wasn't mad anymore.
00:31:00What are you staring at?
00:31:02If you crack your head open, I'm not taking responsibility.
00:31:06He still couldn't say one nice thing.
00:31:09But in that moment, for the first time, I thought...
00:31:14Maybe I really was starting to become part of his life.
00:31:19Lots of forks in there. Stay close.
00:31:22I'm not a kid.
00:31:25Keep it on.
00:31:27He still sounded mean as hell.
00:31:31But I was starting to notice something.
00:31:33The more Jace cared, the worse he was at saying it nicely.
00:31:38Mom?
00:31:40Autumn?
00:31:40Your application...
00:31:42Mom?
00:31:43I can't hear you.
00:31:45Say that again.
00:31:49I thought I'd only stepped away for a few seconds.
00:31:53Jace?
00:31:56Mason?
00:31:57That was when I realized...
00:31:59I was actually lost.
00:32:06I thought if I just kept walking, I'd eventually find the exit.
00:32:11Please go through.
00:32:15Jace?
00:32:19That was when I realized being lost wasn't the only thing terrifying me.
00:32:24I was suddenly scared that one day...
00:32:27Jace might disappear from my life just as easily.
00:32:31Autumn!
00:32:35Where are you hurt?
00:32:36My knee.
00:32:38Can you move it?
00:32:42Your phone wasn't working. Why didn't you stay put?
00:32:45You're yelling at me again.
00:32:48Okay. I'm not yelling.
00:32:51Let's get you out first.
00:32:58Now tell me.
00:33:00Tell you what?
00:33:02Why you're crying this hard.
00:33:04Because I got lost.
00:33:07Autumn.
00:33:10You're not crying because you got lost.
00:33:12He could tell.
00:33:15The path wasn't what I was really afraid of.
00:33:20Jace.
00:33:22I just...
00:33:23You had so many girlfriends before me.
00:33:29I don't know if one day you'll suddenly decide I'm boring too.
00:33:37And then you'll leave me.
00:33:40So you're scared I'll wake up one day and dump you?
00:33:44Because of Ethan?
00:33:45Mm-hmm.
00:33:49I liked him for three years.
00:33:52I was always too scared to tell him.
00:33:56Why?
00:33:58Because I didn't know if he'd ever like me back.
00:34:01I was scared that if I said it we'd stop being friends.
00:34:05Then he found out anyway.
00:34:07And we stopped being friends anyway.
00:34:10It wasn't because I still loved Ethan.
00:34:14I was just scared the same thing would happen again.
00:34:18But you're different.
00:34:22How?
00:34:23You never have to wonder whether someone likes you.
00:34:26If you want someone you just say it.
00:34:30So do you I'm the same with every girl?
00:34:32That's not what I meant.
00:34:35Then what do you mean?
00:34:37I don't know how serious you are.
00:34:41You've had all these girlfriends.
00:34:43And you act like nothing ever matters.
00:34:45Of course I'm scared.
00:34:48Scared I'm just playing with you?
00:34:51Yeah.
00:34:55You spent three years loving another guy.
00:34:58Then you came over, kissed me, and started dating me.
00:35:03And now you're asking if I'm the one playing games?
00:35:05I'm not playing with you.
00:35:07I'm scared you'll leave because I am serious about you.
00:35:15How about now?
00:35:17What?
00:35:19Still think I'm playing?
00:35:21I don't know.
00:35:23Then listen for yourself.
00:35:25That was the first time I realized, while I was terrified of losing him,
00:35:31I could make him nervous too.
00:35:33Watch your step.
00:35:37My knee was killing me, but I refused to say anything.
00:35:43I was secretly waiting to see if he'd do what boyfriends do, in romance novels, and carry me.
00:35:52You can't walk anymore?
00:35:55I'm fine.
00:35:58What's that face for?
00:36:00Nothing.
00:36:02It's not that I won't carry you.
00:36:05Then why not?
00:36:09I can't have you pressed against me right now.
00:36:14Why?
00:36:16We literally just made out. You seriously don't know why?
00:36:19Then stop holding my hand too.
00:36:21Holding hands isn't gonna kill me.
00:36:24You two disappeared forever. What were you doing?
00:36:28Shut up.
00:36:31Get a girlfriend before you start asking questions.
00:36:42Jace never knew how to say anything sweet.
00:36:46But when he crowed down and treated my scraped knee,
00:36:53maybe I could trust him a little more.
00:36:56Strawberry or mint?
00:36:59What?
00:37:01I don't know.
00:37:04Then should I get both?
00:37:07Don't scare her off.
00:37:10You're this shy and you still agreed to date me?
00:37:14That was when it finally hit me.
00:37:16Jace and I might have very different ideas about how fast a relationship should move.
00:37:22We took all the other rooms.
00:37:25You two get this one.
00:37:27Two beds?
00:37:29Any objections?
00:37:35Why are you looking at me? There are two beds.
00:37:40You take the inside bed. I'll take this one.
00:37:44Shower first?
00:37:47I meant.
00:37:48Do you want to shower first or should I?
00:37:52I'll go first.
00:37:54Fine.
00:38:02He hadn't actually done anything.
00:38:05So why was I the one acting like I was about to explode from nerves?
00:38:11Jace, I need to make something clear first.
00:38:15We just started dating. I'm not ready for anything further yet.
00:38:19How long?
00:38:21I don't know.
00:38:23A month? Six months?
00:38:25Maybe a year?
00:38:28A year?
00:38:29If that's a deal breaker, tell me now.
00:38:33God, I want to swear.
00:38:36Not at you.
00:38:39Fine.
00:38:41Fine?
00:38:43If you say no, it's no.
00:38:47I guess I'll just die of frustration.
00:38:49I'd been fully prepared for him to get angry.
00:38:51But he complained and complained and never crossed the line once.
00:38:59You're still awake?
00:39:02I'm suffering over here.
00:39:04Good night.
00:39:06Yeah.
00:39:08Nothing happened that night.
00:39:11But for the first time I truly believed.
00:39:13If I said no, he would stop.
00:39:19Drink less.
00:39:21You're bossing me around now?
00:39:24I'm your girlfriend.
00:39:26Fine.
00:39:27Last one.
00:39:29No way.
00:39:29You're disobedience now?
00:39:31Shut up.
00:39:35There are people everywhere.
00:39:37The next time I'll do it somewhere private.
00:39:40Everyone always said nobody could control Jace.
00:39:42But for the first time, I realized he actually listened when I spoke.
00:39:48Didn't you promise to cut back on drinking and smoking?
00:39:52I already listened about the drinking.
00:39:54This one will take time.
00:39:58Why aren't you inside?
00:40:01Can't sleep.
00:40:03My mom left when I was little.
00:40:06She went to England.
00:40:09And then?
00:40:12She never came back.
00:40:13Not for years.
00:40:15That was the first time Jace ever volunteered anything about his family.
00:40:20Stop looking at me like that.
00:40:23I'm not looking at you.
00:40:25Liar.
00:40:27The name tattooed on your waist?
00:40:34What about it?
00:40:36Everyone at school says it's the name of some foreign ex.
00:40:41People really know how to make shit up.
00:40:44So it's not?
00:40:45Is it your mom?
00:40:48Don't ask.
00:40:49Okay.
00:40:54You're not curious?
00:40:56I am.
00:40:58But if you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask.
00:41:01I'd never seen that look on him before.
00:41:04It wasn't anger.
00:41:05It wasn't impatience.
00:41:07It looked more like I'd accidentally touched something he'd kept buried for years.
00:41:13It's my mom.
00:41:15Don't tell anyone.
00:41:17Okay.
00:41:18And the cigarettes?
00:41:21What now?
00:41:24Smoke less.
00:41:28You really do love telling me what to do.
00:41:30Not smoking anymore tonight.
00:41:34What are you smiling at?
00:41:38Keep smiling and I'll kiss you.
00:41:42Too late.
00:41:45Stay with me for a while.
00:41:48Me?
00:41:49In a library?
00:41:50You want them making fun of me for the next year?
00:41:53Just once.
00:41:56You're impossible.
00:41:59Happy now?
00:42:02Ignore them.
00:42:06I'm being quiet.
00:42:09You look like a dog locked in a cage.
00:42:13You've got some nerve insulting me.
00:42:16Jace hated places like this.
00:42:18He hated being told what to do even more.
00:42:22But I asked him to stay and he sat there with me for two full hours.
00:42:31What's wrong?
00:42:36Nothing.
00:42:38I'm going to London on exchange for a year next semester.
00:42:44You're going to England?
00:42:46Yeah.
00:42:47I applied a long time ago.
00:42:49You could look for a program too.
00:42:51We could go together.
00:42:55I'm not going.
00:42:57You're the academic one.
00:42:59I'm not.
00:43:02Stick to your plan.
00:43:04We break up when you leave and you can find someone over there.
00:43:09But I don't want to break up.
00:43:15Why are you so angry about this?
00:43:19I'm not angry.
00:43:22Then why do you act like this every time I say England?
00:43:27When did you decide to go?
00:43:29Then follow your original plan.
00:43:31Don't change it for me.
00:43:33Since dating Jace, I hadn't had to play this guessing game in a long time.
00:43:43Then, starting that day, he didn't contact me for two straight days.
00:43:49Stay with me for a while.
00:43:52Me?
00:43:53In a library?
00:43:55You want them making fun of me for the next year?
00:43:57Just once.
00:44:00You're impossible.
00:44:03Happy now?
00:44:06Ignore them.
00:44:11I'm being quiet.
00:44:13You look like a dog locked in a cage.
00:44:17You've got some nerve insulting me.
00:44:20Jace hated places like this.
00:44:22He hated being told what to do even more.
00:44:27But I asked him to stay, and he sat there with me for two full hours.
00:44:36What's wrong?
00:44:40Nothing.
00:44:42I'm going to London on exchange for a year next semester.
00:44:48You're going to England?
00:44:50Yeah.
00:44:51I applied a long time ago.
00:44:53You could look for a program too.
00:44:55We could go together.
00:44:59I'm not going.
00:45:01You're the academic one.
00:45:03I'm not.
00:45:06Stick to your plan.
00:45:08We break up when you leave, and you can find someone over there.
00:45:13But I don't want to break up.
00:45:19Why are you so angry about this?
00:45:23I'm not angry.
00:45:26Then why do you act like this every time I say England?
00:45:31When did you decide to go?
00:45:33Then follow your original plan.
00:45:35Don't change it for me.
00:45:37Since dating Jace, I hadn't had to play this guessing game in a long time.
00:45:47Then, starting that day, he didn't contact me for two straight days.
00:45:53With Ethan, I was an expert at guessing.
00:45:56Was he busy?
00:45:57Was he upset?
00:45:59Was I being annoying?
00:46:00With Jace, I thought I'd finally left that behind.
00:46:05You two are both ridiculously stubborn.
00:46:08What, is this relationship supposed to run on telepathy?
00:46:11He's the one who said, if you go, we break up.
00:46:18His mother went to England and never came back.
00:46:21Do you really think this is just about long distance?
00:46:26Don't you have another class tonight?
00:46:31Why didn't you answer me yesterday?
00:46:35Busy?
00:46:38Jace, I don't want you disappearing every time we have a problem.
00:46:43I don't know how to talk to you about England.
00:46:46Then talk slowly.
00:46:49But you don't get to decide for both of us that going there automatically means we break up.
00:46:54I thought that meant we'd made up.
00:46:57We both knew the real problem.
00:46:59England was still sitting there between us.
00:47:04His little gestures hadn't changed at all.
00:47:07But that was the beginning of our first real Cold War.
00:47:18I had no idea that the next time I called back, Lily would answer.
00:47:23If you miss him that much, call him.
00:47:29Why do I always have to be the one who reaches out first?
00:47:34Because you're the one who wants to fix this.
00:47:38I knew she was right.
00:47:41I was just scared that if I took the first step,
00:47:45all I'd get was another,
00:47:46I'm not waiting for you.
00:47:51Jace?
00:47:53Autumn?
00:47:55Why are you answering his phone?
00:47:57Jace is drunk. He can't talk right now.
00:48:01Where are you?
00:48:04What are you going to do if you come?
00:48:07You and him don't belong in the same world.
00:48:10He hasn't mentioned you once tonight.
00:48:17Every word Lily said hit exactly where I'd been hurting for days.
00:48:23My biggest mistake in those three years with Ethan
00:48:26was always trying to figure him out through other people.
00:48:31This time, I wanted to see for myself
00:48:35what Jace was actually doing.
00:48:41Lily said Jace and I came from completely different worlds.
00:48:45The second I walked into that bar,
00:48:47I hated how possible that suddenly felt.
00:48:51What are you doing here?
00:48:53They said you were drunk.
00:48:54Who said that?
00:48:56Lily.
00:48:58I'm not drunk.
00:48:59This place isn't for you.
00:49:01Don't come here again.
00:49:03Not for me.
00:49:10Autumn, are you insane?
00:49:12Do you even know how strong that was?
00:49:15No.
00:49:16You all drink it.
00:49:18If I don't belong here, then who does?
00:49:20Lily?
00:49:22Who the hell said she belongs here?
00:49:25You just did.
00:49:27Let's talk outside.
00:49:32I wasn't trying to prove I could drink.
00:49:35I just needed to know whether Jace actually saw me as part of his world.
00:49:41Drink this first.
00:49:45You've had so many girlfriends.
00:49:49How am I supposed to know I'm not just next in line?
00:49:53Who told you I've had that many girlfriends?
00:49:56The whole school.
00:49:59The whole school also says the tattoo on my waist is some foreign girl's name.
00:50:04You believe that too?
00:50:06Fine.
00:50:07I made you feel insecure.
00:50:11I've got a nasty mouth and a worse temper.
00:50:14If that made you doubt me, that's on me.
00:50:19Ethan used to tell me I was overthinking.
00:50:22For the first time, someone admitted my anxiety wasn't completely my fault.
00:50:28Then why haven't you talked to me these last few days?
00:50:33I don't know how to talk to you about England.
00:50:35So you just hid from me?
00:50:40Yeah.
00:50:43Why are you crying again?
00:50:46Because I really like you.
00:50:49Jace, I really, really like you.
00:50:53Idiot.
00:50:57Then when I go to London, will you wait for me?
00:51:02No one can promise what happens that far ahead.
00:51:05My heart had barely settled before that one sentence sent it right back into panic.
00:51:13That night, I finally knew for sure.
00:51:15He really did like me.
00:51:18But I also understood something for the first time.
00:51:21Liking me didn't mean he was ready to face England.
00:51:25I was so embarrassed about confessing the night before, that I started avoiding Jace.
00:51:34You're not in this class, are you?
00:51:37No.
00:51:41Then why are you here?
00:51:43Keeping my girlfriend company.
00:51:47A guy who could barely drag himself to his own morning classes showed up in mine just to corner me.
00:51:54You did that on purpose.
00:51:58That's what you get for avoiding me.
00:52:00I was not avoiding you.
00:52:01No lunch, no dinner, two-word replies.
00:52:07Weren't you the one telling me last night how much you liked me?
00:52:11Shut up.
00:52:14Let's eat.
00:52:17I can carry my own bag.
00:52:20Your books weigh more than you do.
00:52:23I secretly lived off those two words, my girlfriend, for the entire day.
00:52:30I was starting to believe maybe we really could stay like this.
00:52:35This goes from Wall Street, it's crazy.
00:52:40Around then, Jace started casually asking about London, weather, classes, housing.
00:52:46I thought he'd finally accepted the idea of long distance.
00:52:56You really gonna go to England with her?
00:52:58Shut up.
00:53:01Didn't you say anyone who goes to England gets dumped?
00:53:03Can I change my mind?
00:53:06Can I change my mind?
00:53:06Does Autumn know?
00:53:09I'll tell her if I get in.
00:53:11She wants to go.
00:53:22It's about your mother.
00:53:25Come to England with me.
00:53:28I had no idea.
00:53:30Just when I thought Jace was finally willing to face England with me,
00:53:36one phone call changed everything.
00:53:39He left so suddenly.
00:53:40I had no idea what happened.
00:53:48I only knew he was going to England.
00:53:52I'd planned to tell her when I got back.
00:54:00That I was going to London with her.
00:54:06We're going to bring her home.
00:54:11She's willing to see me?
00:54:13I'd waited years for that day.
00:54:19Part of me even thought that if she really came home,
00:54:22maybe England wasn't as hateful as I'd made it in my head.
00:54:32Don't give it to me.
00:54:40I thought this trip to England was finally going to bring someone I'd lost back home.
00:54:44Then that door opened and I wished I'd never come.
00:54:48I didn't know what happened during those two days.
00:54:51I only knew the Jace who came back felt like a completely different person.
00:54:59Where were you? I called you so many times.
00:55:02Family stuff.
00:55:04Is it handled?
00:55:06Yeah.
00:55:08He said it was handled, but he looked like someone had hollowed him out.
00:55:17Jace, what's wrong?
00:55:20Nothing.
00:55:22What's that?
00:55:26Nothing.
00:55:28I didn't understand why he suddenly wouldn't let me get close.
00:55:32I only knew that the guy who'd just been preparing to face England with me
00:55:36came back refusing to even say the word.
00:55:44Do you regret being with me?
00:55:46Don't overthink it.
00:55:49Then look at me and say that.
00:55:52I'm just tired.
00:55:55Because of me?
00:55:57The worst part wasn't fighting.
00:55:59It was feeling someone slowly leave you and having no idea why.
00:56:04Just go home.
00:56:08I couldn't see what he'd been through.
00:56:11All I could see were fewer messages, shorter hugs, and eyes that looked away faster every day.
00:56:19So I thought he'd gotten bored of me.
00:56:23What is going on with you?
00:56:26Nothing.
00:56:28We should break up.
00:56:31Why?
00:56:33If I say I'm bored, will you believe me?
00:56:36No.
00:56:37Look at me and say it.
00:56:39You don't like me anymore?
00:56:42I don't.
00:56:44He said it so calmly that I actually believed him.
00:56:49Did I do something wrong? I can fix it.
00:56:52You did everything right.
00:56:54You were just unlucky enough to meet me.
00:56:59Then why did you-
00:57:01I changed my mind.
00:57:03Jase.
00:57:04I heard your program got approved.
00:57:06Go to England.
00:57:07Do well.
00:57:10And don't come looking for me again.
00:57:19Lily had warned me from the beginning that Jase would get bored of me fast.
00:57:23I refused to believe her.
00:57:25In the end, he was the one who said it to my face.
00:57:32I couldn't even cry anymore.
00:57:35So they really got back together.
00:57:38If he'd only gotten bored, I could have told myself I'd misjudged him.
00:57:44But if he'd loved Lily the whole time,
00:57:47then I had never been anything more than an intermission in their story.
00:57:53After that day, I stopped making excuses for him.
00:57:57A few months later, I went to London exactly as planned.
00:58:07I thought if I got far enough away from Westbridge,
00:58:10I could leave that relationship behind too.
00:58:14At the time, I truly thought that was the end of Jase and me.
00:58:20I dreamed about coming to England for years.
00:58:23But when I finally got there,
00:58:25I wasn't nearly as happy as I'd imagined.
00:58:29You can delete data.
00:58:30Habits are harder.
00:58:34Rain, good food, getting lost on the tube.
00:58:38My first instinct was still to tell him.
00:58:42Weeks passed, and my new life finally started.
00:58:46A few guys asked me out, but I politely turned them all down.
00:58:51London's huge.
00:58:52Not one guy you like?
00:58:54No.
00:58:55Still thinking about Jase?
00:58:57No.
00:58:58I'm just tired of relationships.
00:59:01I wasn't crying every day.
00:59:03My life wasn't falling apart.
00:59:06I was simply learning how to keep living without him.
00:59:10Autumn?
00:59:12I used to live for accidental run-ins with Ethan.
00:59:16But when I actually ran into him thousands of miles away,
00:59:19I realized...
00:59:21our story had been over for a long time.
00:59:27Do you ever regret being with Jase?
00:59:31Sometimes.
00:59:33But he was really good to me before everything fell apart.
00:59:37What about you?
00:59:38You chased Lily for years.
00:59:40Any regrets?
00:59:41If I'd never dated her, I probably would have never let go.
00:59:45Actually being with her was how I realized she never loved me.
00:59:49Then I guess we were both pretty stupid.
00:59:53For the first time, Ethan and I could talk about Lily calmly.
00:59:57We could even laugh about the past.
01:00:01That was when I knew for sure...
01:00:03I didn't love him anymore.
01:00:07But there's something that's never made sense to me.
01:00:10What?
01:00:13The day you and Jase broke up, I went to find you.
01:00:17I know.
01:00:19It wasn't my idea.
01:00:23Jase called me.
01:00:27Jase.
01:00:29He said you were downstairs crying.
01:00:32And he said...
01:00:34Maybe one day I'd finally see how good you were.
01:00:38He asked you to take care of me?
01:00:41Yeah.
01:00:46And honestly, he didn't sound like a guy who didn't care.
01:00:51If he was really just bored with me...
01:00:56Why would he make sure someone was there after he broke me?
01:00:59I don't love you anymore.
01:01:01It had taken me months to finally believe he truly didn't want me.
01:01:05One sentence from Ethan shattered that certainty all over again.
01:01:10I barely ever used that account.
01:01:13How did Jase even know it was mine?
01:01:20Why would a man who never wanted to see me again...
01:01:23Keep following the city I lived in?
01:01:30But Jase never replied.
01:01:34I found where she lived a long time ago.
01:01:37Then why didn't you go?
01:01:41Didn't want to.
01:01:46I'd spent my whole life waiting for other people to give me answers.
01:01:52This time...
01:01:52I was done guessing.
01:01:56The next day...
01:01:58I went to the place Jase had thought about for more than a decade...
01:02:01And never had the courage to face.
01:02:05Excuse me.
01:02:06Did Evelyn Walker used to live here?
01:02:10Did you know her?
01:02:12I know her son.
01:02:14Yes.
01:02:16After she came to England...
01:02:18She was in a very serious accident.
01:02:21Then what happened?
01:02:23She lost her memory.
01:02:29For a long time she couldn't remember her own past.
01:02:33She didn't even know she had a son back in the States.
01:02:37Later, she'd sometimes dream about a little boy.
01:02:42She'd wake up crying and have no idea who he was.
01:02:46For more than ten years...
01:02:48Jase had translated his mother's silence into one thing.
01:02:52She didn't want me.
01:02:55For the first time, I realized maybe not coming back had never been a choice.
01:03:02She stayed in treatment.
01:03:05Little by little, pieces of her memory started coming back.
01:03:09Did she remember Jase?
01:03:11At first, only fragments.
01:03:13A birthday.
01:03:14An old address.
01:03:16A nickname she used for a child.
01:03:18Then eventually...
01:03:19She remembered everything.
01:03:21Then why didn't she come back?
01:03:25It wasn't that she didn't want to.
01:03:29By the end, she was doing everything she could...
01:03:32To get back to America and find him.
01:03:35The one answer I was terrified of...
01:03:38Was that she'd remembered him.
01:03:40And still chosen not to return.
01:03:43The truth was the exact opposite.
01:03:50These were the things she was planning to bring with her.
01:03:54Jase had waited more than ten years.
01:03:57And inside that box was an answer more than ten years late.
01:04:02She drew all of these after her memories started coming back.
01:04:06She kept saying...
01:04:08My son should look about like this by now.
01:04:12Those cards felt like proof of a mother piecing ten missing years back together.
01:04:17One piece at a time.
01:04:19Then one day, everything came back.
01:04:22And including Jase?
01:04:24Everything.
01:04:27She was scared she'd forget again.
01:04:29So she copied the address over and over.
01:04:32Then she booked the soonest flight she could.
01:04:34She was going back to America to find him.
01:04:37What happened after that?
01:04:41She was in an accident on the way to the airport.
01:04:46So when she got hurt, she was on her way to Jase?
01:04:52Yes.
01:04:53She didn't abandon Jase.
01:04:55She forgot.
01:04:57And by the time she remembered, she was already on her way back to him.
01:05:04Can you give these to my brother?
01:05:08I will.
01:05:13If I didn't tell Jase,
01:05:15he'd spend the rest of his life believing his mother had never wanted to come back.
01:05:24No matter how much the truth hurt, he had to hear it from me.
01:05:38Jase.
01:05:41When did you get back?
01:05:43Just now.
01:05:46Get in the car.
01:05:47What?
01:05:48Ten months had passed.
01:05:50He was thinner, and he'd cut his hair shorter.
01:05:54But the way he looked at me hadn't changed at all.
01:05:59How was England?
01:06:01Good.
01:06:03Have you eaten?
01:06:04On the plane.
01:06:10What about Lily?
01:06:11That ended a long time ago.
01:06:13Are you single now?
01:06:15Yeah.
01:06:16Did you come back?
01:06:18Because you needed something from me?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:25Want to talk at my place?
01:06:27Okay.
01:06:31I'd rehearse the first thing I'd say to him a hundred times on the flight.
01:06:34Then I sat beside him, and every prepared word disappeared.
01:06:40You lost weight.
01:06:43So did you.
01:06:46First thing you do after coming back is come see me?
01:06:49Yeah.
01:06:51Autumn.
01:06:53Hmm?
01:06:54Can I kiss you?
01:06:56For ten months, I'd told myself I'd moved on.
01:07:05The second I touched him again, I realized I'd only learned how to live without him.
01:07:11Autumn.
01:07:13What is it?
01:07:15Are you leaving again?
01:07:17Yes.
01:07:20But I'll come back.
01:07:23As long as you stop pushing me away, I won't abandon you.
01:07:27Don't mess with me, Autumn.
01:07:29I'm not.
01:07:32That was when I finally understood.
01:07:35Ten months had passed, but our deepest fears were exactly the same.
01:07:40I was afraid he would stop choosing me.
01:07:42And he was afraid I'd leave, and never come back.
01:07:47Why did you suddenly break up with me back then?
01:07:51You were going to England.
01:07:54So?
01:07:57People who go to England don't come back.
01:08:00Who told you that?
01:08:03My mom.
01:08:06She went there and didn't come back for more than ten years.
01:08:10Then you were going too.
01:08:15I couldn't wait around until the day you decided you didn't want me either.
01:08:19That was when it finally made sense.
01:08:23He hadn't pushed me away because of Lily.
01:08:26He hadn't gotten bored.
01:08:28He'd simply convinced himself that anyone who went to England would eventually leave him.
01:08:35So you decided we should break up for both of us?
01:08:40I didn't want to hold you back.
01:08:43But that was my decision to make.
01:08:47Yeah.
01:08:49I was an asshole.
01:08:51You were.
01:08:52But I'm back now, aren't I?
01:08:55For two days?
01:08:56Then what?
01:08:58I'm going back to England.
01:09:01But I'm coming back again.
01:09:04I love you.
01:09:05That's why I'll come back.
01:09:08Next time, don't make my choices for me.
01:09:11Okay?
01:09:13Okay.
01:09:15That night, we finally talked honestly about the breakup.
01:09:19But I still hadn't given him what I'd brought back from England.
01:09:25Where did these come from?
01:09:27England.
01:09:29The house where your mom used to live.
01:09:35This name.
01:09:38She's the only person who ever called me that.
01:09:42She remembered you in the end.
01:09:47She remembered me?
01:09:49Yeah.
01:09:52Then why didn't she come back?
01:09:57If she remembered everything, why still didn't she come back?
01:10:02That was the question he'd really been asking for more than ten years.
01:10:07Not whether she'd forgotten him.
01:10:09But whether, after remembering, she'd ever wanted to come back for him.
01:10:19Forget it.
01:10:21She's dead. It doesn't matter anymore.
01:10:24Jace.
01:10:27There's one more thing you don't know.
01:10:32When her memory came back, the first thing she did was start planning how to get back to America and
01:10:38find you.
01:10:41What?
01:10:44She booked a flight.
01:10:47She was scared she'd forget again, so she copied your home address several times.
01:10:53The day she died, she was on her way to the airport.
01:10:59So that day she was...
01:11:00Coming back for you.
01:11:04She really remembered me?
01:11:07Yes.
01:11:08She remembered everything.
01:11:14You hungry?
01:11:15I'll make you something.
01:11:19The water's boiling.
01:11:25Jace.
01:11:30She really wanted to come back?
01:11:32She did.
01:11:35He had waited more than ten years.
01:11:39What scared him most wasn't that his mother was gone.
01:11:43It was the thought that, while she was alive, she had never once wanted to come back for him.
01:11:50Now he finally knew.
01:11:52The cruelest thing he'd spent his whole life believing had never actually happened.
01:12:00Smoking again.
01:12:03I used to stay up until midnight every birthday.
01:12:07Waiting for your mom?
01:12:09Yeah.
01:12:11I always thought maybe one year she'd suddenly remember me and send a happy birthday.
01:12:17Eventually I stopped waiting.
01:12:20I'd go to a bar and get blackout drunk.
01:12:24If midnight passed while I was wasted, that was good enough.
01:12:30When I was a kid, I even wondered if maybe I was too annoying.
01:12:33And that's why she never came back.
01:12:36You were just a kid.
01:12:39Her leaving was never your fault.
01:12:47What if I'd gone looking for her sooner?
01:12:50Jace.
01:12:53Don't use what you know now to punish the kid you were back then.
01:12:58You don't have to wait alone on your birthdays anymore.
01:13:03I'll wait with you.
01:13:11I'd always thought I was the one who was more afraid of being left.
01:13:15That day, I realized Jace was just better at hiding the same fear.
01:13:25She really remembered everything.
01:13:28Yeah.
01:13:31I used to think that if she ever came back, the first thing I'd ask was why she didn't want
01:13:36me.
01:13:37Now I don't even get to ask.
01:13:39But you already know the answer.
01:13:41She did want you.
01:13:42The truth didn't magically make him okay.
01:13:44It just tore down the anger that had kept him standing for years.
01:13:48And underneath it was nothing but missing her.
01:13:55I'm probably gonna hurt for a long time.
01:13:58Then hurt.
01:13:59No one says you have to be fine the day after you learn the truth.
01:14:04You're not gonna get sick of this?
01:14:06You sat with me while I cried in a cave.
01:14:09I'm returning the favor.
01:14:13One day, I want to go to England.
01:14:17To see where your mom lived?
01:14:20Yeah.
01:14:21Then I'll go with you.
01:14:27Don't you still have to go back and finish your program?
01:14:30I do.
01:14:34But I'll come back.
01:14:36Every time.
01:14:37This time, he finally started to believe that leaving and abandoning someone weren't the same thing.
01:14:46Jace.
01:14:47Yeah?
01:14:48Let's get married.
01:14:52What did you just say?
01:14:55Get married.
01:14:56You're always scared I'm going to run, right?
01:14:59Then make me legally stuck with you.
01:15:02You sure this isn't pity?
01:15:05I flew across an ocean for you.
01:15:08And tracked down your mom's life in some tiny English town.
01:15:12You think I'm doing charity work?
01:15:16What if you regret it later?
01:15:19Then we deal with it later.
01:15:20Isn't that your favorite line?
01:15:23Think it through.
01:15:25A wife is a lot harder to return than a girlfriend.
01:15:29Perfect.
01:15:31I wasn't planning to return you anyway.
01:15:38Fine.
01:15:39Fine what?
01:15:41We're getting married.
01:15:46I wasn't marrying him because I wanted to fix him.
01:15:50I was marrying him because I finally knew he was the person I wanted to build a life with.
01:15:56I love you.
01:15:59Love you too.
01:16:02You weren't asleep?
01:16:05We're getting married tomorrow morning.
01:16:09Tomorrow morning? That fast?
01:16:12If I don't move fast, you'll run back to England.
01:16:15Where am I supposed to find my wife then?
01:16:22Every birthday, I waited until midnight.
01:16:26Waiting for a woman who'd been gone more than 10 years.
01:16:29To suddenly remember she still had a son.
01:16:36It wasn't my mom.
01:16:37It was some girl from school I'd never even met.
01:16:41That night, I went through her entire profile.
01:16:48Hey, can I borrow your meal card?
01:16:51Of course I remembered her.
01:16:58The girl who'd messaged me happy birthday in the middle of the night.
01:17:07I thought she'd come over because of me.
01:17:10Then she used my card to buy lunch for the guy she liked.
01:17:15Back then, I didn't know that random pissed off feeling was jealousy.
01:17:22After that, somehow, she was always the first person I noticed in a crowd.
01:17:29Back then, I still wouldn't admit I cared about her.
01:17:33I just knew seeing her sit next to Ethan ruined the entire game for me.
01:17:38When the kiss cam started drifting our way, I actually thought, if it lands on us, kissing her wouldn't be
01:17:43the worst thing.
01:17:44The first time I saw her cry, I hated how much it got to me.
01:17:48Then the girl I thought would only ever stare at me from across campus kissed me in front of the
01:17:52whole arena.
01:17:54For the first time in my life, I forgot to push away a girl who kissed me first.
01:17:59Then she came back and straight up asked me to date her.
01:18:03I thought, sure, never dated a good girl before.
01:18:08Could be fun.
01:18:12Then she started showing up every day, telling me to drink less, smoke less, crying because she was scared I'd
01:18:19leave her.
01:18:26I kept telling myself it was just something new, until I caught myself seriously thinking about a future with her.
01:18:34That was when I finally admitted it.
01:18:38I was the one who got played.
01:18:41The first time she said she was going to England, I shut it down immediately.
01:18:48Then not long after, I was secretly figuring out how to go with her.
01:18:53I was going to tell her after I got accepted.
01:18:58My mom went to England and never came back.
01:19:03The day I held her ashes, the first person I thought about was Autumn.
01:19:09She was going to England too.
01:19:13And suddenly I couldn't make myself gamble on whether she'd come back.
01:19:18I didn't want her giving up her future for me.
01:19:23But I couldn't make myself go with her either.
01:19:27She's downstairs.
01:19:30Go check on her.
01:19:33I told myself that if she hated me, she'd be able to leave cleanly.
01:19:40So I asked Lily to help me put on one last ugly show.
01:19:46I even sat there waiting for Autumn to text me and curse me out.
01:19:51But once she really left, I didn't let go for a single day.
01:20:03Wait.
01:20:04What?
01:20:06I didn't even know you back then.
01:20:09Don't tell me you noticed me that early.
01:20:13Who noticed you?
01:20:15Then why do you remember me borrowing your meal card?
01:20:18I hold grudges.
01:20:21And you remember I used it to buy Ethan lunch?
01:20:26Good memory.
01:20:28So you fell first?
01:20:30No.
01:20:32If you like someone, you're supposed to admit it.
01:20:39Fine.
01:20:40I like you, okay?
01:20:41I had a crush on you.
01:20:45And you're the only person I'm loving for the rest of my life.
01:20:48Happy?
01:20:49Very.
01:20:59That's us.
01:21:07Weren't you the one rushing me to get here early?
01:21:10Kissing you isn't going to make us late for our wedding.
01:21:13Autumn Blake?
01:21:14Jace Walker?
01:21:17Come on, Mrs. Walker.
01:21:19I haven't changed my last name.
01:21:21Give it time.
01:21:27Three years ago, I spent all my courage on someone who would never choose me.
01:21:34Later, I learned that real love shouldn't leave you guessing all the time.
01:21:38I took the long way.
01:21:40I loved the wrong person.
01:21:42But in the end, I still found my way to the one person who would choose me,
01:21:48again and again.
01:21:49My dad was so scared.
01:21:49I had never tried.
01:21:50I knew there was.
01:21:52I didn't.
01:21:52I know there was a man.