She catfished her online boyfriend, then vanished without a word. She never thought she'd see him again. But when she moves into her best friend's home, she comes face to face with him: he's her bestie's cold, billionaire older brother. Now her secret is one slip away from destroying everything, and things get worse when his perfect arranged fiancée shows up ready to fight for him.
Watch the full episode now.
#catfish #dramaseries #arrangedmarriage #secretidentity #romancedrama #fullepisode
Watch the full episode now.
#catfish #dramaseries #arrangedmarriage #secretidentity #romancedrama #fullepisode
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FunTranscript
00:00I lied about what I looked like. Met him online. Six months. In real life? CEO. Cold. Untouchable.
00:05Barely looked at people when he talked to them. Online? Different guy. Completely. Called me baby.
00:10Called me his. Said I could ruin his life and he thanked me for it. He never saw my face.
00:14Never saw
00:15my body. Because if he had, he wouldn't have said any of it. He got obsessed. Talked about meeting
00:19up. Yeah. No. I dumped him. Blocked him everywhere. Done spring break. Crashed at my best friend
00:26Marlo's place. Walked in and ran straight into her older brother. Tall. Gorgeous. Ice cold
00:30face. And somehow, I knew that face. Down girl. My brother hates girls who throw themselves
00:40at him. And ever since he got ghosted by some online fling, worst mood of his life. I swallowed
00:45hard. Marlo? Your brother's name isn't Silas Kingsley, is it? No freaking way. How do you
00:53know that? Well, that was it. I was done. I dated this guy online. Ghosted him. Now
00:58I was in his house. His actual house. Seriously. What are the odds before I could say anything?
01:03Actually, makes sense. We're basically the same person. I probably said his name at some
01:06point. I just stood there. Frozen. Silas Kingsley. Same house has as me. Right now. My
01:11heart wouldn't shut up. I kept thinking about an hour ago. Marlo brought me home. Silas came
01:16down the stairs in a robe. Loosely tied. Collar open. Looked like he just rolled out of bed.
01:20Didn't care. Owned the place anyway. I stared. Something about him. I couldn't place it.
01:24But Silas just gave me a nod. His eyes went right past me. Like I wasn't there. Just his
01:28little sister's college friend. No way. This guy? My clingy filthy ex from social media.
01:33Not a chance. Online Silas was a whole different species. Every night. Without fail. The pet
01:38names. The possessiveness. The way he talked like I already belonged to him. Half the stuff
01:42he said kept me up till 2am face burning. Kicking my feet. And, me? I never showed him a real
01:47photo. Sent him some pretty girl I found on social media. Told him that was me. If he'd
01:52seen the real me. Size 16. Double chin. All of it? He wouldn't have said a single word.
02:00So, how many girlfriends has your brother had? Just one. Online. He was really into her.
02:06Then she dumped him out of nowhere. Cold as hell. He's been the worst ever since. Snapping
02:10at everyone. If he's rude to you, don't take it personal. He's like that with everyone
02:14right now. Next morning. Mrs. Kingsley called us down for breakfast. Silas sat across from
02:19me. I couldn't stop glancing at him. Then he looked up. Our eyes met. He raised an eyebrow.
02:24Kind of surprised. My heart jumped. I looked away. Fast. But I could still feel him watching
02:29me. Stay as long as you want, sweetheart. Make yourself at home. Thank you, Mrs. Kingsley.
02:37I smiled and told myself to chill. So, what if we're under the same roof? There's no way
02:41he figures out I'm the girl who ghosted him. No way. He's never seen my face. Never seen my body.
02:46The girl he thinks he loved was a social media photo and a voice on the phone. Not me. Definitely
02:51not. This. The conversation shifted to Silas. I listened. Picked up pieces. Apparently, his mom
02:57set him up with someone recently. But when she asked how it was going, Silas couldn't have cared less.
03:02Mom, I told you. Not interested. Met her twice. Can't even remember her face.
03:11You reject every girl I bring. I swear, I don't know when you'll snap out of it.
03:17You're 26, Silas. No girlfriend. Sometimes I honestly wonder if you even like women.
03:22Mom, his orientation is fine. Promise. He's just romantically cursed. The girl he wants
03:28likes to play games. That's all. I wanted to disappear into my plate. Didn't dare breathe.
03:33But of course, the universe wasn't done with me. Gene Whitfield. I flinched, almost dropped my fork,
03:38just my name. Nothing special. But hearing it from his mouth? Chills. Down my spine. Instantly.
03:44Why? Before I could think. His eyes were already on me. Reading me. Something I couldn't figure out
03:50behind them. You look guilty. Did you do something you shouldn't have? My brain shorted out. I had
03:55nothing. Thank God Mrs. Kingsley stepped in. Leave her alone. Gene's our guest. Be nice.
04:02Wow, bro. I said Gene's name once and you memorized it? Everyone laughed. I kept my head down. Didn't
04:08say a word. Didn't notice Silas narrowing his eyes at me from across the table. Marlo had a fever the
04:13past couple days. After breakfast, she took some meds and went back to bed. I did some homework. Went
04:18downstairs for water. Saw Mrs. Kingsley grabbing her keys. Where are you going? That son of mine.
04:26Rushed out this morning and forgot his documents. Now I have to drive all the way to his office. He's
04:30never this careless. I don't know what's gotten into him. I can take them. You should rest. Oh no,
04:36sweetie. I couldn't ask you to do that. Really? It's fine. I've got nothing else going on.
04:41Mrs. Kingsley had been so kind, letting me stay. This was the least I could do. She couldn't argue
04:46with me. Eventually, she texted me the address. In the taxi, I pulled out my phone, searched his name.
04:51Same story everywhere. Ruthless. Sharp. Decisive. Couldn't picture a guy like that on social media.
04:57Back then, I was a freshman. Parents just got divorced. Life sucked. Every night on social
05:01media. Anything to not be alone. That's where I met him. Felt like a relationship. Kind of. Even if
05:06we'd never met. Made me feel something. Good enough. But I was careful. Lied about my age. Told him I
05:11was
05:11a senior. Never gave him my real name. Never sent a real photo. Never took his video calls. Just my
05:17voice.
05:1730 minutes a night. That was it, Silas? He gave me everything. Venmo'd me money constantly.
05:22Random amounts. Get yourself something nice. You haven't eaten. Order food. The numbers were insane.
05:27I sent it all back. Just wanted someone to talk to at night. Wasn't gonna marry the guy. His money?
05:31Not my problem. Then he got clingy. One day, he said he wanted to meet. I had two weeks till
05:36finals.
05:37Meet in person. Yeah, no. I thought about it forever. Then I typed it out. No point meeting up.
05:43I'm kind of over this. Let's end it. Hit send. Blocked him on social media. Unfriended him
05:48everywhere. Deleted every message. Figured Silas would've moved on by now. But from the way Marlo
05:52talked about him, he hadn't. Not even close. First time at Silas's office, receptionist walked me up
05:58to the top floor. Apparently he owned the whole building. Must be nice being rich. Elevator dinged.
06:03Doors opened. The second my eyes landed on him, I froze. Sun behind him. Sharp jaw. Something dangerous
06:10about him. So this was him at work. Something squeezed in my chest. He'd just come out of a
06:15meeting. Board members walking behind him. Every single one older than him by a decade.
06:20None of them could touch him. Looked like he was born to run the room. All the way went
06:24dead quiet. Someone stared at me. Way too curious. Mr. Kingsley. And this is...
06:29Their eyes wouldn't leave me. His eyes landed on me. He paused. Then he stepped in front of
06:33just slightly. Like it was nothing. A friend. Like he was hiding me. Not his sister's classmate.
06:39Not the girl staying at his house. A friend. Mr. Kingsley, this young lady says she's here to
06:44drop off your documents. Got it. Take her to my office. He hit the elevator button. Seemed like
06:50he had somewhere else to be. I thought about it for a second. Handed the documents to the receptionist.
06:55These are delivered. I'll get going. Don't want to be in the way. The second I turned around,
07:00something stopped me. Silas's hand. On my arm. Did I say you could leave? I stopped. He was so
07:06close I could smell him. Something clean. Cold. Like pine in winter. Forgot how to move. Where his
07:11fingers touched my arm. Buzzing. Like a live wire. He breathed out. Wait for me. I have something to
07:17tell you. I had no idea what Silas wanted to say. As far as he knew, our only connection was
07:21his sister.
07:22Whatever this was, it was freaking me out. By the time his assistant swapped my coffee for the third
07:29time. I was losing it. Then the door opened. Silas walked in. Saw me on the couch. His face
07:34softened. Just a little. I stood up fast. Nervous. Something flickered in his eyes. Gone before I
07:40could catch it. Mr. Kings. Sit down. You're not my employee. Don't call me that. So why did you want
07:48me to stay? Do you have your phone? Let's follow each other. I'll mobile page you for the ride. No,
07:57really. It's fine. It was nothing. Plus, I've been staying at your house for free. That's different.
08:07I don't like owing people. I was about to say no again. Then a thought hit me. Why was he
08:11pushing
08:11this so hard? As his sister's friend? He didn't need my socials. Unless he suspected something. Panic
08:17almost showed on my face. This man was unreal. There were zero clues. How was he already suspicious?
08:22When I pulled up my profile, I caught something. His hand was shaking. Just a little. Like he was
08:26waiting for something. He stared at my screen for a long time. Then something in him deflated. Like
08:31the air got knocked out of him. Reason I could add him so calmly was simple. I stopped using my
08:35old
08:35account after freshman year. My current profile looked nothing like the old one. I breathed out.
08:40Quiet. Silas had no way to connect the two. But I noticed something. His profile picture. Still the one I
08:46picked for him. Back then, after all this time, he never changed it. Didn't know what to feel.
08:50Car pulled up to the house. Silas hadn't been home in two days. He had other places. Normal for him.
08:55Not having to face him at home? Relief. Marlo recovered. Full of energy. Impossible to keep
09:00indoors. Jean, it's Tyler's birthday tonight. Whole crew's going. Tyler. Guy from high school. Same
09:05college now. Feigard going out might clear my head. Said yes. Marlo was already texting on the way out.
09:11Ugh. My brother wants to know what I'm doing tonight. Nosy. She typed back. Didn't think
09:15twice. Should have thought twice. By the time we got downtown, it was dark. Tyler's group was
09:20outside the restaurant. Talking. Laughing. When Tyler saw me, he waved. Jean, I told you guys not
09:25to bring gifts. I smiled. Handed him the watch I picked out. He took it. Grinned. Always keeping
09:30things even, huh? Halfway through dinner, the table got loud. Someone brought up dating apps. Everyone
09:35had a story. Jessica was across the table. On her second glass of wine. Then she turned to
09:40me, smiling. Jean, you've been so quiet. Are you seeing anyone? The table quieted a little. I set
09:46my glass down. Not really. Oh, honey. Still? She glanced around the table, making sure everyone
09:52was listening. You know, I keep telling my little sister, guys don't care about personality. They
09:57see you first. And if the packaging isn't right, they don't even open the box. The table went dead
10:02quiet. Jessica put a hand on my arm. Squeezed. Fake concern. I'm just saying. Don't wait around,
10:07honey. Nobody's coming to save you. Silence then. The restaurant door opened.
10:19Sorry I'm late, baby. Baby. He'd never called me that in real life. Only online, the whole
10:24table froze. Something in me unclenched. Jessica's hand was still on my arm. Silas looked down at
10:29it just once. She yanked it back like she'd been burned. Marlo was silently losing it in
10:33her seat. He leaned in, voice low, loud enough for the table to catch. You should have told
10:37me you had plans. I would have come sooner. He straightened, looked at Tyler. Happy birthday.
10:43His hand slid to the small of my back. Marlo finally cracked. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Don't mind
10:48me. Just your sister. Silas didn't turn around. Stay. Have fun. Fine. Free cake. I'll live. He was
10:59already walking me toward the door, right past Jessica. I didn't look at her, didn't need to.
11:03His hand on my back said everything. The SUV pulled away from the restaurant. I sat in the
11:08passenger seat, hands in my lap. Not moving, Silas didn't say anything at first. Just drove seedy
11:13lights on his face. Off. Buckle up, baby. My hands wouldn't cooperate. He watched me fumble
11:19for a second. Then leaned over. Reached across me. Buckled it himself. Slowly. I stopped breathing.
11:24He didn't sit back right away. Fuck's close to mine. Voice quiet. You've been jumpy all night.
11:28Have I? Hmm. He sat back. Eyes on the road again. Silence. I stared out the window. Tried to look
11:35normal.
11:35Tried not to think about it. The way he'd called me baby in front of everyone. The way he only
11:40ever
11:40called me that online. Then he spoke. Casually. You know what's weird? What? I keep thinking about
11:46a girl I used to talk to. She could never sleep before 2am every night. Sounds annoying. Sounds
11:51familiar? Not really. I sleep early. Right. Must be someone else I'm thinking of. He didn't look at
11:58me, but I felt him watching. The way you feel someone watching in the dark. The rest of the drive
12:03was
12:03quiet. When we pulled into the driveway, he cut the engine. Didn't get out. Just sat there. Hands on the
12:09wheel. Then he turned to me. Get some sleep, Gene. Try to. If you can. He got out. Walked
12:17around to open my door. I sat there. Frozen. Because try to wasn't a suggestion. It was
12:22a challenge. I didn't sleep. 2am, 3am, 4am. Silas knew. Of course he knew. By morning,
12:29Marlo was banging on my door. Get up. Event tonight. We need dresses. Downstairs. Silas
12:34was already dressed. In hand. I'm driving. Marlo blinked. You? Shopping? I have somewhere
12:40to be after. Sure he did. Silas tripped us at some boutique downtown. Meeting. Back in
12:45an hour. Marlo pulled me inside. The saleswoman was already walking over. Blonde. Perfect
12:51blowout. Perfect smile. Her eyes went to Marlo first. Warm. Miss Kingsley? Always lovely
12:57to see you. Then her eyes found me. The smile didn't change. But something behind it did.
13:02And your friend? Yeah. She's shopping too. Of course. The saleswoman's eyes did that thing.
13:09The up and down. The math. Well, let me know if you need help, sweetie. She turned back
13:14to Marlo. The new collection is over here. Very selective sizing, though. Just so you know.
13:19It's fine. I'll just look around. I wandered to the back. Every rack. Same story. Size zero.
13:25Size two. Size four. Nothing past a six. I always know before I walk in. But I kept
13:31walking. Kept pretending to browse. Because leaving looked worse than staying. The saleswoman
13:36was watching me. Not helping. Just watching. Then she drifted over a sweet voice.
13:41Sweetheart. I don't want you to waste your time. These really aren't designed with everybody
13:47in mind. There's a lovely store two blocks down. Torpid? Very cute. Really flattering
13:52for girls like you. Girls like me? You know what I mean. Right. Thanks.
13:57Turned to leave. I made it three steps. Then the door chimed. Silas. He walked in scanning
14:02the room. Saw me heading for the door. Saw the saleswoman. Still smiling. Saw Marlo two
14:07racks away. Jaw clenched. Ride the room in one second. He walked straight to me. Hand on
14:12my arm. Where are you going? I was just... Did you find something you liked?
14:16No, I... Why not? Oh, Mr. Kingsley. We were just discussing that our collection isn't quite
14:23the right fit for your... For my what? Not a question, she faltered. For your companion.
14:29The sizing is a bit... Get me the manager. Excuse me? The manager. Now. Her smile
14:34disappeared. She walked to the back. Fast Silas turned to me. Different voice soft. Pick something.
14:40Silas, I don't... Anything you want. Or everything. I don't care.
14:45Mr. Kingsley, is there a problem? Yeah. Your staff just told my girlfriend to shop somewhere
14:51else. Marlo made a noise. Something between a gasp and a laugh. I opened my mouth to correct
14:56him. Then closed it. Because looking at his face, he wasn't asking permission. The manager
15:00went white. Sir, I'm so sorry. I don't care. He pulled out his card, slid it across the counter.
15:06I'll take the store. Sir? Get her whatever fits. Whatever she wants. Alterations, custom,
15:12new patterns. Bill me. Mr. Kingsley, that's... Every piece in this store remade in her size,
15:18starting today. Holy shit. And her. Silas finally looked at the saleswoman,
15:23just once. Fire her, before I leave. Grab your things. Now. Outside on the sidewalk,
15:30Marlo was staring at her brother like she'd never seen him before. Did you just buy out the entire
15:36store for Jean? Yes. And made them remake everything in her size? Yes. And called her
15:43your girlfriend? Yes. Jean, what is happening? I didn't answer. Couldn't. Silas was opening the
15:51car door. He looked at me over the roof. Get in, baby. Baby. Not for the table this time. Not
15:56for
15:56anyone. Just for me. Got home. Went straight to my room. Didn't come down for dinner. Marlo knocked.
16:02Jean. You good? Tired. Your fake boyfriend just bought a store for you. Not now. She left.
16:09I sat on the bed. Lights off. Buzzed. Silas. Are you eating? Answer me. Jean. I turned it face
16:16down. Downstairs. Front door. He was home. I locked my door. Waited. An hour. Two nothing then.
16:22Knock not loud. Steady. Open the door. I didn't move. I know you're awake. Open it. Or I will.
16:28I got up. Opened it. Silas' suit. Tie loose. Collar open. He walked past me. Into the room.
16:36Silas, what are you- He shut the door, locked it. Sit. What? Sit down, Jean.
16:48I don't want to meet up. I'm kind of over this. Let's end it. Hi, Ellie. I couldn't move. He
16:55stood
16:55there, waiting. Silas. Don't. He put the phone away. Six months. I looked for you six months.
17:03I know. You know. He laughed. Not funny. You know. He walked closer. Private investigators.
17:09Three of them. Nothing. Silas. Because every single thing you told me was a lie.
17:16The name. The age. The photo. The photo.
17:22Silas, I can explain. I- Try me.
17:25I opened my mouth. Nothing came out. Because what was I going to say? That I was scared?
17:29That I lied because I didn't think a guy like him would want a girl like me?
17:33That the photo was some Pinterest girl? And the real me was this. He was still waiting.
17:38I didn't think you'd want the real me.
17:40That's it? Silas, look at me.
17:47You fell for a voice and a photo. That's not me. That was never me.
17:51I know what I fell for.
17:52Silas, I-
17:52I fell for the girl who cried at 2am because her parents were splitting.
17:55I fell for the girl who wouldn't take my money.
17:57No, no, no.
17:58I fell for the girl who called me at midnight just to hear me breathe.
18:00That girl. Not a photo.
18:02But you never saw me.
18:03I'm seeing you now.
18:06Jean, look at me.
18:07I looked for you for six months.
18:09Not for the girl in that photo.
18:11For the girl on the phone.
18:13Jean, that's you.
18:15Silas.
18:16That's always been you.
18:20So now you know, what are you going to do?
18:24Don't run this time.
18:26I didn't sleep. He didn't leave.
18:27Just sat on the floor by my bed.
18:29Back against the wall.
18:30Suit jacket off.
18:31Not looking at me.
18:32Not talking.
18:33Just there.
18:34Silas?
18:34Hmm?
18:35Why are you on the floor?
18:37Because if I get in that bed, I won't leave.
18:40You should sleep.
18:42I'm good, Silas.
18:43Sleep, Jean.
18:44I did eventually.
18:46Woke up at eight.
18:47He was gone, but there was coffee on the nightstand.
18:49Still warm and a note.
18:51Downstairs when you're ready.
18:52I got dressed.
18:53Slowly.
18:54Baggy hoodie.
18:55Leggings.
18:55Hair up.
18:56Went down.
18:56Silas was at the kitchen island.
18:58Laptop open.
18:58Coffee in hand.
18:59He looked up.
19:00Smiled.
19:02Morning.
19:03Morning.
19:04Marlo walked in behind me.
19:05Saw us.
19:06Oh my god.
19:07You're smiling.
19:08Marlo.
19:09You never smile.
19:11Marlo.
19:11At breakfast?
19:12Before ten?
19:13What have you done to my brother?
19:15Get out.
19:16Rude?
19:17Out.
19:18Cool.
19:19Cool, cool, cool.
19:20Just gonna go be the invisible sister again.
19:23Come here.
19:24I walked over.
19:25He pulled out the stool next to him.
19:27I sat.
19:27He didn't say anything for a second.
19:29Then his hand slid to my thigh.
19:30Rested there.
19:32Silas.
19:32Just for a minute.
19:34You okay?
19:36I don't know.
19:37Take your time.
19:39Silas.
19:40Hmm?
19:41You really don't care.
19:42About what?
19:44About.
19:46I care about every part of you, Gene.
19:49I meant.
19:50I know what you meant.
19:51I don't care that you're not the girl in the photo.
19:52I care that you spent two years thinking you had to be.
19:55We're doing this right this time.
19:57Doing what?
19:58All of it.
19:59He glanced down.
20:00His whole face changed.
20:02Silas?
20:04Silas, what?
20:05Vivian's back in town.
20:07Who?
20:09My mother's pick.
20:10The girl she wants me to marry.
20:13Silas left.
20:14Didn't say when he'd be back.
20:15Didn't kiss me goodbye.
20:16Just gone.
20:17I sat at the kitchen island.
20:18Coffee going cold.
20:20Marlo walked back in.
20:21He gone?
20:22Yeah.
20:23Where?
20:24Vivian.
20:24Oh no.
20:26Who is she, Marlo?
20:27Marlo pulled up a stool.
20:29Sat down slowly.
20:30Okay.
20:31So.
20:32Marlo.
20:33Vivian Ashfield.
20:34Mom's friend's daughter.
20:36Grew up in the same circles.
20:37And?
20:39And she's been in love with Silas since we were 14.
20:42Mom's been trying to set them up for two years.
20:44Silas keeps saying no.
20:45So what's the problem?
20:47She just came back from Paris.
20:48Fashion school.
20:49And she's perfect.
20:51Perfect.
20:51Like model perfect.
20:53Size two.
20:53Speaks four languages.
20:54Dad's worth 500 million.
20:56Cool.
20:56Cool.
20:57Jean.
20:57No, it's fine.
20:58Jean.
20:58It's fine, Marlon.
20:59He said no for two years.
21:01He'll say no again.
21:02Yeah.
21:03Jean, look at me.
21:05My brother bought a store for you yesterday.
21:07I know.
21:07He called you his girlfriend in front of a stranger.
21:10I know.
21:10He slept on your floor.
21:12Marlo.
21:12He is gone for you, Jean.
21:13I nodded.
21:14Didn't smile.
21:15She sighed.
21:16Squeezed my hand.
21:17But.
21:18But she's Vivian and I'm.
21:19I didn't finish.
21:20Marlo was quiet.
21:22Then she stood up.
21:22You know what?
21:23Get up.
21:24What?
21:24Get up.
21:25We're going out.
21:26Marley, I don't.
21:27Jean, get up.
21:28We drove to the boutique.
21:30The one Silas bought yesterday.
21:31The manager saw me walk in.
21:33Actually gasped.
21:35Miss Whitfield.
21:36We've been expecting you.
21:37The team's been working since 6 a.m.
21:39We have first samples ready.
21:41First samples of what?
21:42Your collection.
21:43Mr. Kingsley called last night.
21:45Very specific instructions.
21:47Oh, this is going to be good.
21:48The manager led us to a private room.
21:50Racks and racks of clothes.
21:52All new.
21:53All different.
21:54All in my size.
21:55I stopped in the doorway.
21:57He said, and I quote,
21:59She's never had a store built for her.
22:00Fix that.
22:01Nope.
22:01Not running.
22:02Try something on.
22:03Marlo.
22:03Jean, try something on.
22:05Black sequin mesh fitted off the shoulder.
22:08I put it on.
22:09Looked in the mirror.
22:10Marlo was behind me, watching my face.
22:14Jean, that's what you look like when clothes are made for you.
22:18The bell over the door chimed.
22:19Two women walked in.
22:21The manager's face went pale.
22:23Marlo went still.
22:24I turned around.
22:25A tall blonde long coat designer bags.
22:27And an older woman.
22:28Silas's mother.
22:29The blonde's eyes swept over me.
22:31Slow.
22:32Amused.
22:32Then she smiled.
22:33Oh.
22:34You must be Jean.
22:36I didn't answer.
22:38Vivian.
22:39I told you not to.
22:41I saw the car outside.
22:42Thought I'd say hi.
22:43Vivian held out a hand.
22:45I'm Vivian.
22:47Silas and I grew up together.
22:48I didn't take it.
22:49She smiled wider.
22:50That's fine.
22:51I get it.
22:53Vivian, sweetheart.
22:56Elaine.
22:57Two minutes.
22:58Woman to woman.
22:59I'm not going to be rude.
23:00I just want to be honest.
23:03Okay.
23:04Silas is a Kingsley.
23:06He'll run this family.
23:07Marry into it.
23:08Have kids who inherits it.
23:10She looked me up and down.
23:11Slow.
23:12You are not built for this life.
23:14Vivian.
23:15That is enough.
23:16Elaine, I love you.
23:18But you know I'm right.
23:19That is enough.
23:21I'm not saying you're not sweet.
23:23You are.
23:24I'm saying he's going to wake up one day and see it too.
23:27See what?
23:29That you're a chapter.
23:31Not the book.
23:32The manager gasped.
23:34Marlo was shaking.
23:35I stood there, held Vivian's eyes.
23:37Didn't blink.
23:38Thanks for the honesty.
23:40Then I turned to Mrs. Kingsley.
23:42Thank you for breakfast yesterday.
23:44I think I'll head back to the dorms tonight.
23:47Mrs. Kingsley's mouth opened.
23:48Nothing came out.
23:49I walked to the fitting room.
23:51Marlo followed.
23:56Jean?
23:57I know.
23:58I took off that black evening gown.
24:00Put my hoodie back on.
24:03Let's go home.
24:05The next morning, Silas set a garment bag on my bed.
24:09What's this?
24:11Charity gala.
24:12Tonight.
24:13Silas.
24:14You're my girlfriend.
24:15You're coming.
24:16I don't do galas.
24:18You don't have to do anything.
24:19Just be there.
24:20He kissed my forehead.
24:21Left.
24:22I opened the bag.
24:23Deep green silk.
24:24Custom.
24:24My size.
24:25Of course.
24:26Vivian's voice in my head.
24:27You are not built for this life.
24:30I got ready anyway.
24:34The car came at seven.
24:35Silas met me at the bottom of the stairs.
24:37Jean.
24:38What?
24:39You look.
24:40He didn't finish.
24:41Just took my hand.
24:43The gala was in a hotel ballroom.
24:45Chandeliers.
24:46Champagne.
24:46Money.
24:47Silas kept his hand on my back.
24:49Introduced me to everyone.
24:50This is Jean.
24:51My girlfriend.
24:52Some people smiled.
24:53Some just looked.
24:54Then someone tapped Silas on the shoulder.
24:56Just business, baby.
24:58Two minutes.
24:59He kissed my temple.
25:00Went.
25:01I stood alone in the crowd.
25:02Waiter offered me champagne.
25:03I took it.
25:04Just to have something to hold.
25:05I looked around.
25:06Every woman in the room was thin.
25:08Every woman.
25:09Not one exception.
25:10Then I found Silas.
25:12Across the room.
25:13Talking to Vivian.
25:16Of course she was here.
25:17Same crowd.
25:18Vivian was laughing.
25:19Silas wasn't.
25:20But she was standing close.
25:21She wears a white gown.
25:22They looked like a magazine cover.
25:24Vivian saw me across the crowd.
25:25Smiled.
25:26Waved.
25:27Small.
25:27Just for me.
25:28Then she leaned into Silas.
25:30Whispered something.
25:30Silas stopped smiling for a second.
25:32Then laughed.
25:33Loud.
25:33Wrong laugh.
25:34I put my champagne down.
25:35Walked to the exit.
25:36Fast.
25:37Didn't say goodbye.
25:38Didn't text him.
25:39Just got in a cab.
25:39Told the driver Silas' address.
25:41Then changed my mind.
25:42Sorry.
25:43Different address.
25:44I gave him my dorm.
25:45I got there at ten.
25:46Turned off my phone.
25:47Sat on my bed.
25:48Stared at the wall.
25:49Around midnight someone banged on my door.
25:51I didn't move.
25:54Gene.
25:54I know you're in there.
25:56Open the door.
25:57Gene.
25:58Your phone is off.
25:59Your taxi history has this address.
26:01Open the door.
26:02I got up.
26:02Walked to the door.
26:03Didn't open it.
26:04Silas.
26:05Go home.
26:05Gene.
26:06Open the door.
26:06I said go home.
26:08His voice was different.
26:09Not angry.
26:10Scared.
26:11What did I do?
26:12Nothing.
26:13Gene.
26:13Silas.
26:14Go home.
26:15Tell me what I did.
26:16Nothing.
26:18Then open the door.
26:20Not tonight.
26:21Gene.
26:22Please.
26:23I stood there for a long time.
26:25Then I heard footsteps.
26:26Walking away.
26:27I slid down against the door.
26:28Sat on the floor.
26:29And cried.
26:32I woke up on the floor.
26:34Neck stiff fuck swollen.
26:35Pawn still off.
26:38I turned it on 47 missed calls.
26:402023 texts.
26:42All Silas.
26:43Gene.
26:44Gene, please.
26:46Are you home?
26:47You're not at your old apartment.
26:48Where are you?
26:49Gene.
26:50Please answer.
26:52Please.
26:54I put the phone face down.
26:56Sat by the window.
26:57Watched the street waited for something to feel different.
27:00It didn't.
27:01Around noon.
27:01A food delivery notification.
27:03Delivery at the front desk.
27:05I went down.
27:06The RA handed me a bag.
27:08Chicken soup.
27:09Note attached.
27:10You always got sick when you didn't sleep.
27:12Eat.
27:12Please.
27:13Silas the same soup from when I was just a voice.
27:16I brought it upstairs.
27:17Sat on the floor.
27:18Ate it slowly.
27:19Cried the whole time.
27:20A car pulled up outside.
27:22I didn't look.
27:23Come to the window.
27:24Gene.
27:24I know you're up there.
27:25Come to the window.
27:26I got up.
27:27Walked over.
27:28He was standing on the street.
27:30Just standing there looking up.
27:31Our eyes met.
27:32He didn't smile.
27:33He didn't wave.
27:34He just held up his phone.
27:36A message came through.
27:41I know what she said to me.
27:43I know why you left.
27:44I'm going to tell you what I heard.
27:46And why I laughed.
27:48But not through a door.
27:50Come down.
27:51Or let me up.
27:52Please, Gene.
27:53I stood at the window.
27:55He was still there.
27:56No coat waiting.
27:57I grabbed my jacket.
27:58Went downstairs.
27:59He saw me through the glass.
28:00Didn't move.
28:01Didn't come to meet me.
28:02Just waited.
28:03I walked out.
28:03Stopped three feet away.
28:05Talk.
28:05She said something cruel about you.
28:07How cruel?
28:08You don't want the words.
28:10I laughed at her.
28:11Not with her.
28:13Because she thought it would work.
28:15You've never laughed like that with me.
28:17Because I can't be casual with you.
28:19You are the only real thing in that room.
28:22You want to know what I said back to her?
28:24What?
28:24I said, none of it matters.
28:27I'm going to marry her.
28:29Silas.
28:30I mean it.
28:30You barely know me.
28:32I know you better than she ever will.
28:35Tomorrow.
28:36Pack your dorm.
28:37Move in with me.
28:38Silas.
28:39If you say no, I'll sleep in your hallway every night until you say yes.
28:43Morning after.
28:44I don't remember the drive back to the Kingsley house.
28:46I remember Silas sitting on the floor by my bed until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.
28:50When I woke up, he was gone.
28:53Note on the nightstand.
28:54Meetings till six.
28:55Text me if you go out.
28:56I stared at it.
28:57He'd never left me a note before.
28:59I got up.
29:00Went downstairs.
29:01Marlo was at the counter eating cereal.
29:05Morning, sunshine.
29:07You look like hell.
29:09Thanks.
29:11Mom said he left at five.
29:13Something's up with him.
29:14I didn't answer.
29:15My phone buzzed.
29:16Coffee, 11 a.m.
29:17The blue door on fifth.
29:18Who's that?
29:19I locked the screen.
29:20Nobody.
29:21I shouldn't have gone.
29:22I went.
29:23The blue door was one of those places with $12 lats and no signage.
29:26She was already at a corner table.
29:28Vivienne.
29:29Cream coat.
29:30No makeup.
29:30Looked tired.
29:31Back to the wall.
29:32Chair angled toward the door.
29:33I noticed.
29:34Didn't think about why.
29:35She saw me and something in her face relaxed.
29:38You came.
29:38I wasn't sure you would.
29:40How did you get my number?
29:42I've been in this family's contact since I was 14.
29:45It wasn't hard.
29:46I sat.
29:47She slid an envelope across the table.
29:50Open it.
29:51No.
29:52Jean.
29:53Please.
29:54I didn't.
29:55She opened it herself.
29:56Pulled out a photo.
29:58Slid it toward me.
29:59A girl.
29:59Late teens.
30:00Long dark hair.
30:01Standing on a beach.
30:02Smiling at the camera.
30:04The girl from Pinterest.
30:05The girl I told Silas was me.
30:07Two years ago.
30:08The girl I had never met.
30:09The girl whose face I had stolen.
30:11I stopped breathing.
30:12Her name is Ashley.
30:14Vivienne's voice was soft.
30:16She's family to me.
30:17I couldn't move.
30:19She posted that photo on social media three years ago.
30:21Her account was public back then.
30:23Someone screenshotted it.
30:25Uploaded it to social media.
30:28Wherever girls like you find photos of girls like Ashley.
30:31The bell above the door jingled.
30:33Vivienne's head turned fast.
30:34Too fast.
30:35She watched the customer walk in.
30:37Watched them sit down.
30:38Watched them open a laptop.
30:39Then turned back to me.
30:40Like nothing happened.
30:42You okay?
30:44Fine.
30:45She wasn't.
30:46She pulled a second photo from the envelope.
30:48This is a post Ashley made last spring.
30:50A screenshot.
30:51Ashley in a car.
30:52Hoodie up.
30:52Looking out the window cat bed underneath.
30:54Anya and Els feel like they're being watched even when they're not.
30:58She deleted it three hours later.
31:00After the men started showing up.
31:02For weeks.
31:03Some of them were nice.
31:05Some of them weren't.
31:06They kept asking her if she was Ellie.
31:08Ellie.
31:09The name I'd made up.
31:10The name I'd given him.
31:11She told them she wasn't.
31:13Over and over.
31:14They didn't believe her.
31:15One of them followed her home.
31:17Just once.
31:19That was enough.
31:22She started sleeping with the lights on.
31:24Checked the locks three times before bed.
31:27Changed her route to class.
31:28She said it like she was reciting.
31:30Like she knew the list by heart.
31:32I know what that fear looks like.
31:34So I made it stop.
31:36How?
31:36My father made a call.
31:38To Silas' father.
31:39The investigators were told to drop that lead.
31:42Silas never knew why.
31:43He doesn't know it was Ashley.
31:44He doesn't know what she went through.
31:46Because I never told him.
31:47I put my hands on the table.
31:49Because they were shaking too hard to hold.
31:51Is she okay now?
31:52She's fine.
31:53Vivian's actually smiled for a second.
31:55She's a senior at a university.
31:57Studying art history.
31:58Started dating someone last spring.
32:00She's fine, Jean.
32:01But she wasn't.
32:02For a while, she wasn't.
32:04And it could have been so much worse.
32:06Do you understand what I'm telling you?
32:08I do.
32:08Then you understand why I'm sitting here.
32:10Yes.
32:12I'm not trying to ruin you.
32:13I came here because Silas deserves to know what his money almost did.
32:17And I came here because I need you to understand what almost happened to a girl who did nothing wrong.
32:22She slid the photos back into the envelope.
32:24Didn't take it with her.
32:25Left it on the table.
32:27I'll give you until tomorrow morning.
32:29Tell Silas.
32:30He can decide how to reach her.
32:32After that, I do it.
32:37For what it's worth, I don't hate you.
32:39I don't know you well enough to hate you.
32:41I just can't watch this happen to another girl.
32:43Not while I'm alive to stop it.
32:45That last line.
32:46The way she said it.
32:47Like it wasn't about Ashley at all.
32:49I looked at her.
32:50She looked away.
32:51Silas will forgive you, Gene.
32:53He forgives you for everything.
32:55But he won't forgive himself.
32:57Not for this.
32:58You need to be ready for that.
32:59She left.
33:00I sat at the table for a long time.
33:02The envelope in front of me.
33:03The bell above the door jingled every few minutes.
33:06Every time, I flinched.
33:07I hadn't been the one being followed, but I couldn't stop flinching.
33:11I got home and sat on the floor by the door.
33:14Envelope on my knees.
33:15Lights off.
33:17I didn't want to see myself in any of the mirrors on the way in.
33:20He'd be back at nine.
33:21I sat there until he was there.
33:23The lock turned and the door pushed against my back and stopped.
33:26Gene?
33:27Here.
33:28Move a second.
33:29No.
33:30Two seconds of silence on the other side of the door.
33:31Back door then.
33:32I heard him walk around.
33:34He came around the corner and saw me on the floor and didn't ask why.
33:37Just sat down across from me, still in his suit, and waited.
33:41I handed him the envelope.
33:42He opened it and pulled out the photo.
33:44Ashley on the beach, smiling at whoever was holding the camera, Al.
33:48He looked at it for a long time.
33:50Longer than I thought he would.
33:51Then he set it face down on the floor between us and said,
33:54Okay.
33:56Keep going.
33:57I stared at him.
33:59Keep going, Gene.
34:00I swallowed.
34:02Her name's Ashley.
34:03I don't know her.
34:04I took the photo off a photo sharing website two years ago.
34:06You asked for a picture of me and I didn't have one I could send, so I sent hers.
34:09I thought...
34:10Finish it.
34:11I thought a girl who looked like her was the kind of girl who got to talk to you.
34:14He looked down at the photo, face down on the floor.
34:16Didn't turn it over.
34:17For a long time, he didn't say anything.
34:19Then he stood up.
34:20I froze.
34:21He walked past me into the kitchen.
34:23I heard the tap.
34:24A glass water.
34:25He came back and handed me the glass and sat down again closer this time.
34:29Our knees touched.
34:30Drink.
34:31I drank.
34:31He waited until I was done.
34:33Took the glass.
34:33Set it aside.
34:34I heard your voice before I ever saw that photo, Gene.
34:37I know.
34:38Then you know I never needed it.
34:39I started to cry, but it came out wrong.
34:42Angry.
34:42Don't.
34:43Don't what?
34:43Don't be nice about it.
34:44I lied to you for two years.
34:45I know what you did.
34:46Then be angry.
34:47I am angry.
34:48I stopped breathing.
34:49Not at you.
34:50He picked up the photo carefully.
34:52Not at her either.
34:54Then who?
34:56The girl two years ago who thought she had to send this.
34:59Slid it into the inside pocket of his suit jacket.
35:02Silas.
35:03I'll deal with it.
35:04There's a second photo in there.
35:06I don't want to see it tonight.
35:08You should...
35:09Gene.
35:11Tomorrow you tell me the rest.
35:13Tomorrow we figure out what she needs.
35:15Tonight I'm not looking at another picture of her.
35:17Why?
35:18Not tonight.
35:19I put my forehead on my knees.
35:21He didn't move.
35:22When I lifted my head, my face felt swollen and my nose was running and I didn't care.
35:27I'm sorry.
35:28I know.
35:29That's it?
35:30That's it.
35:31You're supposed to...
35:32Gene.
35:33What?
35:34Stop telling me what I'm supposed to do.
35:36I laughed.
35:37Then he stood and held out his hand.
35:39Come on.
35:41Where?
35:42Bed.
35:42To sleep.
35:43I took his hand and he pulled me up.
35:45He walked me down the hall without letting go.
35:47And at the bedroom door he stopped and took off his jacket.
35:50Couch or bed?
35:52Couch.
35:52He nodded.
35:54Silas.
35:55He stopped.
35:56I didn't have anything to say.
35:57I just didn't want him to leave yet.
35:59The photo.
36:00What about it?
36:00Why'd you keep it?
36:02He looked at me another second.
36:04So you don't have to.
36:05The next morning, 8.
36:06I found him in the kitchen.
36:08Suit pants, white shirt, sleeves rolled.
36:10Coffee in one hand, phone in the other.
36:12He looked like he hadn't slept.
36:13Hi.
36:14Hi.
36:15He put the phone down.
36:16I have her address.
36:18How?
36:19Viviane.
36:20You called her?
36:21She called me.
36:225 a.m.
36:23What did she say?
36:24She said Ashley's expecting us at 10.
36:26I sat down at the counter.
36:28You told her we were coming.
36:30I told her I was coming.
36:31She asked if you were.
36:32I said that was your call.
36:33And she told Ashley.
36:35She told Ashley someone from two years ago wanted to apologize.
36:38She didn't say who.
36:39I looked down at the counter.
36:41So Ashley doesn't know it's me.
36:42No.
36:43She'll know when I walk in.
36:44Yes.
36:45I nodded.
36:46He put his hand over mine.
36:48Steady.
36:48Didn't say anything.
36:49After a minute I said.
36:51I need to change.
36:53Okay.
36:54What do I wear?
36:55He thought about it.
36:56What you'd wear to class.
36:58Silas?
36:58I mean it.
36:59Don't dress up for her.
37:01She'll hate that.
37:02We took his car.
37:04He drove.
37:05I held the second photo in my lap.
37:07Halfway there I said.
37:08I should have shown you this last night.
37:10I know.
37:11You knew there was more.
37:12I could tell.
37:13Why didn't you make me tell you?
37:15Because you were already telling me the hard part.
37:17The rest could wait a night.
37:18I looked at him.
37:20Silas?
37:20Yeah.
37:21There's a lot on this second photo.
37:23Tell me now then.
37:25So I told him.
37:26In the car.
37:27On the highway.
37:28The men who showed up looking for me and found her instead.
37:31The one who followed her home.
37:33Vivian found out.
37:34She went to the investigators herself.
37:36Used her family's name.
37:37Made them stop.
37:38By herself.
37:39By herself.
37:40He didn't interrupt after that.
37:42When I stopped.
37:43We drove in silence for a mile.
37:44Then quiet.
37:45I paid those men.
37:46You didn't know.
37:47I paid them, Jane.
37:49Yes.
37:49Ashley lived in a walk-up in the East Village, third floor.
37:52Vivian was waiting outside in a black coat.
37:55No makeup.
37:55Hands in pockets.
37:56She saw the car.
37:57Walked over.
37:58Silas rolled the window down.
37:59She's upstairs.
38:00She knows now.
38:01I told her on the phone 20 minutes ago.
38:03I didn't want her surprised.
38:06Don't thank me.
38:07I didn't do it for you.
38:08I know.
38:09Jean.
38:10Yeah.
38:11She's kind.
38:12Don't mistake that for easy.
38:13Then she stepped back and walked down the block.
38:15Ashley opened the door before we knocked smaller than in the photo.
38:18Jeans, a sweatshirt, wet hair.
38:21She looked at Silas first.
38:22Then at me.
38:23At me longer.
38:25Oh, you're her.
38:26Silas didn't speak.
38:27Hand on the doorframe.
38:28Didn't move.
38:29Ashley's eyes went from me to him.
38:31Something in her face shifted.
38:32Come in.
38:33Both of you.
38:34Come in.
38:34Small apartment.
38:35Books everywhere.
38:36A cat on the chair she needed.
38:38She moved the cat.
38:39We sat down.
38:40Silas still hadn't spoken.
38:41Ashley waited.
38:42Ashley?
38:43Yeah.
38:44I'm sorry.
38:45For all of it.
38:46I didn't know.
38:47That doesn't fix it.
38:49Okay.
38:52You go.
38:56I used your photo.
38:58Three years ago.
38:59Off social media.
39:01I sent it to him and told him it was me.
39:03I kept sending it for two years.
39:05I'm so sorry.
39:06I waited.
39:06She still didn't say anything.
39:08The silence went long enough that I started to think she wasn't going to.
39:11That she'd let us in just to say no.
39:13And I understood sitting there that she had every right to.
39:16Did you know what happened to me?
39:18Not until yesterday.
39:20Vivian told you?
39:21Yes.
39:21And you came anyway?
39:23Yes.
39:24Can I ask you something?
39:25Anything.
39:26Why my picture?
39:27I opened my mouth.
39:28Closed it.
39:29She waited.
39:29Because you looked like the kind of girl who got to be liked.
39:33That's really sad, Jean.
39:34I started crying.
39:35She got up.
39:35Walked over.
39:36Sat down next to me on the couch.
39:38Didn't touch me.
39:39Just sat.
39:40For what it's worth.
39:41I don't post pictures anywhere anymore.
39:43Three years and I still don't.
39:44So you don't get to hate yourself more than I already hate the internet.
39:48Deal?
39:49Deal.
39:50Silas hadn't moved.
39:51He was watching her.
39:52Ashley.
39:53Yeah.
39:53What do you need?
39:54She thought about it.
39:56Honestly?
39:56Nothing.
39:57I'm okay now.
39:58It took a while.
39:59But I'm okay.
40:00That's not an answer I can accept.
40:02I figured.
40:03Anything.
40:04School.
40:05Work.
40:06Your family.
40:06A lawyer.
40:08Security.
40:08Say the word.
40:09I have school covered.
40:10Then something else.
40:11Pick something.
40:12She looked at him a long moment.
40:14Fine.
40:14My mom's been trying to move out of Queens for six years.
40:17Help her.
40:17Silas took out his phone.
40:19What's her name?
40:20Seriously?
40:21What's her name, Ashley?
40:22She told him.
40:23Ashley.
40:23He typed it in.
40:24Set the phone down.
40:25It's done by the end of the week.
40:27Ashley looked at him for a second.
40:28Then at me.
40:29Is he always like this?
40:30I'm still figuring that out.
40:32Ashley laughed.
40:33Small.
40:34We stayed an hour.
40:35She showed me the cat.
40:36She told me about her boyfriend.
40:38A guy in her program who made her laugh last winter when nothing else did.
40:42She asked me what I studied.
40:43I asked her what she studied.
40:45It was almost normal.
40:46In a way that had felt impossible when we walked in.
40:49At the door she stopped me.
40:50Jean.
40:51Yeah?
40:51The girl in that photo?
40:52She doesn't really exist.
40:54Not the way you built her.
40:55Okay?
40:55Okay.
40:56She looked at Silas.
40:57Take care of her.
40:58I will.
40:59I mean it.
41:00She cried harder than I did today.
41:02Take care of her.
41:03I will, Ashley.
41:04In the car I didn't speak for a long time.
41:07Then I said,
41:07She was kind.
41:08Kinder than I deserve.
41:10Jean.
41:11Kinder than I expected.
41:12Better.
41:13The window and let out a breath.
41:15I hadn't known I was holding.
41:16Silas put his hand on the console.
41:18Palm up.
41:18I put mine in it.
41:20He didn't lace his fingers through mine.
41:21Just pressed his palm down against mine and held it there.
41:24We drove.
41:25I kept my hand under his.
41:27He kept pressing down on it.
41:28All the way home.
41:29The next morning.
41:30Silas was already gone.
41:31Time to go back to class.
41:32I took the subway.
41:34Around Union Square I noticed a girl across the car look up at me.
41:37Then down at her phone.
41:39Then up at me again.
41:40I glanced at her screen when the train slowed at the next station.
41:43My face was on it.
41:45I looked away.
41:46Held the pole a little tighter.
41:48Told myself I was seeing things.
41:49I wasn't.
41:50Second floor lit 220.
41:52I opened the door and the room went quiet for about a second and a half.
41:55Everyone looked up.
41:56Then looked back down at once.
41:58I stood in the doorway.
41:59Then I walked to the back and sat.
42:00To my left someone whispered something.
42:02And the girl next to her laughed and then said, too loud.
42:05I'm not laughing at her.
42:06I'm just...
42:07Stop.
42:07A girl in the row in front of me turned around.
42:10Blonde.
42:10Rings on every finger.
42:12Sorry.
42:12Are you...
42:13Yeah.
42:14Oh my god.
42:14She turned to her friend.
42:15It is her.
42:16Her friend leaned over too.
42:17Looked at me.
42:18Looked back at her phone.
42:19I opened my notebook.
42:20Kept my eyes on the page.
42:21Ten minutes into class, the blonde girl reached back over her shoulder and dropped her phone on
42:25my desk without turning around.
42:27I didn't want to look.
42:28I looked.
42:29A photo.
42:29Grainy.
42:30Zoomed.
42:30Me and Silas on the sidewalk outside Ashley's building yesterday.
42:34His hand on the small of my back.
42:35Both of us looking away from the camera.
42:37The caption I didn't read.
42:38The comments I couldn't stop reading.
42:40Is that his sister?
42:41She'd be cute if she lost 30 pounds.
42:43Guy stopped.
42:43She seems nice.
42:44That last one.
42:45I read it twice.
42:46Then I closed my hand around the phone, hard enough that my nails hit the case.
42:51The blonde girl was watching me sideways without turning her head.
42:54I put the phone back on her shoulder.
42:55She took it.
42:57Didn't turn around.
42:58I opened my notebook again.
43:00The page was blank.
43:01I stared at it and made myself breathe.
43:03I stayed.
43:04That was the whole thing.
43:05I stayed till the end.
43:06I walked out of the building and he was there, leaning against the pillar.
43:10Coat.
43:11Sunglasses.
43:11Phone down at his side.
43:13He wasn't pretending to do anything.
43:15Just watching the door.
43:16He saw me and pushed off the pillar.
43:18Two girls near the entrance had their phones half up.
43:21One of them lowered hers when she saw his face.
43:23I walked toward him.
43:25Halfway there, my throat closed.
43:27I stopped in the middle of the walkway and I couldn't move.
43:29He crossed the last of it in three steps.
43:32Didn't say anything.
43:33Didn't ask.
43:34Just pulled me into him.
43:35One hand on the back of my head.
43:37The other flat against my back.
43:39The same place from the photo.
43:41In front of everyone.
43:41On purpose.
43:43I put my face in his shoulder and cried.
43:45He didn't shush me.
43:46Didn't tell me it was fine.
43:48Didn't move.
43:49Somewhere behind me a phone shutter went off.
43:51He heard it.
43:52I felt him turn his head half an inch toward the sound and then decide not to.
43:56He'd stayed where he was.
43:57I don't know how long.
43:59She'd be cute if she lost 30 pounds.
44:01I heard.
44:03Silas.
44:04Jean.
44:05I read all of it.
44:06I know.
44:07I read the nice one twice.
44:10Good.
44:11He didn't let go of me right away.
44:13When he did, he kept his arm around my shoulders instead.
44:16Turned us toward the street.
44:18Started walking.
44:18Behind us, someone was still filming.
44:20I could feel it.
44:22Car's around the corner.
44:23Okay.
44:24You want to walk or ride?
44:26Ride.
44:28Okay.
44:29I let him take my hand under his arm and hold it there.
44:31And I walked with him the way you walk with someone when your legs are working but nothing
44:35else is.
44:36We got to the car.
44:37He opened the door for me.
44:40Silas.
44:41Yeah.
44:42I cried.
44:43You stayed.
44:45Thank you for the hand on my back in the photo.
44:49It's been there, Jean.
44:53The next day, I woke up in his arms.
44:55He was already awake.
44:57Not moving.
44:57Just there.
44:59Morning.
45:00Morning.
45:01Silas.
45:01Yeah.
45:02Why aren't you at the office?
45:05My mother's coming over.
45:08When?
45:09Eleven.
45:09Silas.
45:10I know.
45:10Why?
45:11She called me last night after you fell asleep.
45:14And?
45:15She said she wanted to come see you.
45:16See me?
45:17That's what she said.
45:19That's not...
45:20Silas, she doesn't come see people.
45:22I know.
45:22She summons them.
45:23I know, Jean.
45:24I looked at the clock.
45:259.40.
45:27Okay.
45:28Okay.
45:29I'm getting up.
45:31Silas.
45:32Yeah.
45:33Is it because of the photo?
45:35Yes.
45:36Is she angry?
45:38I don't know.
45:40I stood in front of the closet for a long time.
45:42Everything he'd bought me was in there.
45:44Silk.
45:44Wool.
45:45Things with tags I hadn't cut off.
45:47I picked a sweater I'd had since freshman year.
45:49It was pilled at the elbows.
45:51Jeans calmed my hair.
45:53Too much?
45:54No.
45:55Not enough?
45:56Jean.
45:57What?
45:58Wear what you want.
45:59The bell rang at 11.
46:01Exactly.
46:02Silas went.
46:03I stayed at the counter with my hands around a mug I wasn't drinking from.
46:06I heard the door.
46:07I heard her voice.
46:08Where is she?
46:09Kitchen, Mom.
46:11Footsteps.
46:12She came around the corner.
46:13Camel coat.
46:14Hair pulled back.
46:15No makeup.
46:16She saw me.
46:17Stopped.
46:17I put the mug down.
46:18Mrs. Kingsley.
46:20She didn't answer.
46:21She walked across the kitchen and she pulled me into her arms.
46:23I didn't move.
46:24She held on.
46:26I saw what they wrote.
46:27She said.
46:28Quiet.
46:29Into the side of my hair.
46:30I closed my eyes.
46:31Those were not my words.
46:32I have never once thought that about you.
46:34I couldn't answer.
46:35She held me a while longer.
46:36Then she let go.
46:37Held me at arm's length.
46:38Looked at me.
46:39Sit down, sweetheart.
46:40Let me tell you something.
46:42We sat at the counter.
46:43Silas made tea.
46:44Neither of us drank.
46:45Elaine didn't take her coat off.
46:47Jean.
46:48Yes.
46:49Do you know how old I was when I married James?
46:51No.
46:5223.
46:53Do you know what I weighed?
46:54No.
46:54160 pounds.
46:56I didn't know what to say.
46:57His mother told him at the engagement dinner in front of me that he could do better.
47:01I cried in the powder room for 40 minutes.
47:03Then I came back out and I finished my soup.
47:07Why?
47:08Because I was hungry.
47:09And because leaving would have proved her right.
47:11I didn't say anything.
47:13She looked at me steadily.
47:15Vivian is wrong about you, Jean.
47:16She has been wrong about you since the first day.
47:18That is my problem, not yours.
47:20Okay.
47:21And what those people wrote online is nothing new.
47:23They said the same about me.
47:25It has nothing to do with you.
47:26It has to do with what he has.
47:28I nodded.
47:29I couldn't do anything else.
47:31She was quiet for a moment.
47:32Then she reached into her coat pocket, took out an envelope, slid it across the counter.
47:40This is for you.
47:41I opened it.
47:42A photograph.
47:43Old.
47:44Creased at one corner.
47:45Color faded to that soft, warm brown old photos go.
47:48A young woman on a beach.
47:49Maybe 22.
47:50Long dark hair.
47:51Round face.
47:52Round arms.
47:53A one-piece swimsuit.
47:54She was laughing at someone off camera.
47:56I didn't recognize her.
47:58Then I did.
47:58Elaine.
47:59That's you.
48:00That's me.
48:03You were heavier than you are, sweetheart.
48:05By quite a bit.
48:07I looked up at her.
48:08She was smiling.
48:09A little.
48:10I kept that one, because it was the last picture taken of me before I started listening
48:14to people who told me I needed to shrink.
48:17I don't have any pictures from the 20 years after.
48:2120 years?
48:22Elaine didn't say anything.
48:23She just watched me hold the photo.
48:25Elaine?
48:26Yes?
48:27Why are you giving this to me?
48:30Because I don't want you to spend 20 years the way I did.
48:33She stayed another half hour.
48:35Talked out about small things.
48:36The garden.
48:37A cousin's wedding.
48:38Whether Silas was eating.
48:40Then she stood up, kissed the top of my head, and told Silas to walk her out.
48:44I sat at the counter with the photo in front of me.
48:46Didn't move.
48:47Didn't try to.
48:48I heard the door close.
48:50Heard Silas come back.
48:51He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen.
48:53I didn't look up.
48:54Silas.
48:55Yeah?
48:56She's good.
48:57I know.
48:58He came over.
48:58Sat down next to me.
49:00Looked at the photo without touching it.
49:01I've never seen this picture.
49:03She said she doesn't have any others.
49:05She doesn't.
49:06For 20 years.
49:08I didn't know that.
49:09I picked the photo up.
49:10Held it by the edge like something old.
49:12I don't want to stop letting people take pictures of me.
49:15He looked at me.
49:16Then don't.
49:16I put the photo down on the counter between us.
49:19Face up.
49:20Left it there.
49:21After class, I got on the subway going the other way.
49:24I didn't tell him.
49:25Somewhere between the tunnel and the bridge, I took out my phone.
49:29Mom, I'm coming by.
49:30Three dots.
49:31You finally remembered you have one.
49:33I looked at that for a second.
49:34Then I put the phone back in my pocket.
49:36The subway ran above ground once it left the tunnel.
49:4040 minutes to the stop.
49:4110 minutes on foot to the townhouse.
49:43I hadn't been back in eight months.
49:45I rang the bell.
49:47Deanne opened the door.
49:49She looked at me for about three seconds.
49:51You got heavy.
49:51Can I come in?
49:52It's your house too.
49:53She turned around and walked back inside without waiting for me.
49:57The TV was on.
49:58A woman was selling a copper pan.
50:00The house smelled the way it always smelled.
50:02Lemon cleaner and old carpet.
50:04On the fridge.
50:05My high school graduation photo.
50:07Curling at the corners.
50:08A coupon for bed, bath, and beyond that expired in 2022.
50:11I sat on the couch.
50:13She sat across from me.
50:15Then she started.
50:16Look at your face.
50:17Mom.
50:18Am I wrong?
50:19Look in a mirror.
50:20I have.
50:20You have and you still went out?
50:21I didn't answer.
50:24Does that boyfriend know you look like this?
50:26He knows.
50:27He knows and he hasn't left yet?
50:29Mom.
50:30What?
50:30His mother hugged me this morning.
50:32She stopped.
50:33And?
50:34She said she'd never thought that about me.
50:36Diane smiled a little.
50:37Not warmly.
50:37She's being polite.
50:39Women like her learn to be Jean.
50:40Mom.
50:40What?
50:41She gave me a photograph of herself.
50:43A what?
50:43From when she was young.
50:45Before she got thin.
50:46Diane didn't answer.
50:47I didn't push it.
50:48Then she said.
50:49Don't get ideas.
50:50About what?
50:51Being one of those people.
50:53Mom.
50:53What?
50:54Rich families don't marry girls like you, Jean.
50:56They keep you around and then they marry their own.
51:00I'm telling you because no one else will.
51:03You've told me since I was nine.
51:06And it was true then and it's true now.
51:08Your father posted on Facebook last week.
51:12Did he?
51:13Him and her and her kid.
51:15At the lake.
51:17You didn't see it.
51:18I don't have him at it anymore.
51:20Neither do I.
51:21Neither of us said anything for a while.
51:22Then she picked up her attack where she'd left it.
51:25Lose 20 pounds.
51:26At least.
51:27Then they can't hurt you.
51:30Her roots were showing.
51:33Mom.
51:33What?
51:35Is that how you did it?
51:37You lost the weight and you still got hurt.
51:42Jean.
51:43Didn't you?
51:46Are you hungry?
51:47Yeah.
51:49She went into the kitchen.
51:51She'd made lasagna the night before.
51:54Half a pan of it.
51:57She heated up two big squares in the microwave and brought them out on the good plates.
52:07She sat mine down in front of me.
52:09Her portion was half the size of mine.
52:12She sat down.
52:14You used to love this.
52:16I still love it.
52:17Well.
52:18She pushed a napkin at me.
52:20Eat then.
52:20You came all the way out here.
52:22I picked up the fork.
52:23You know when I was your age I ate a slice of bread for lunch.
52:26One slice.
52:27Mom.
52:28Every day.
52:29Every day, Jean.
52:30That's what it took.
52:32Okay.
52:32Nobody told me either.
52:33I figured it out on my own.
52:35If I hadn't...
52:36You'd have been me.
52:40She stopped.
52:44That's not what I meant.
52:45It's what you said.
52:50She looked down at her plate.
52:52Then she reached over with her fork, cut a corner off her own square of lasagna, and
52:57slid it onto my plate.
53:01It'll get cold.
53:02Eat before it gets cold.
53:04I looked at that corner of lasagna for a long time.
53:10Then I ate it.
53:11I ate everything on my plate.
53:13I ate the corner she gave me.
53:14I ate slowly.
53:15She watched.
53:16She talked the whole time.
53:18About the neighbor's dog.
53:19About a co-worker who was retiring.
53:22About how the church down the road was being sold.
53:25She didn't compliment me.
53:26And she didn't apologize.
53:30When I was done, I stood up.
53:32Took both our plates to the sink.
53:33And washed them.
53:35She watched me from the table.
53:37She didn't try to stop me.
53:38At the door, I put my coat on.
53:41Well, bye, Mom.
53:43Don't come back if you're just gonna look at me like that.
53:45Mom, what?
53:47I'll be back next Sunday.
53:48What for?
53:50To see you.
53:51She didn't say anything.
53:52I opened the door.
53:54Before I stepped out, I said it again.
53:56Quieter.
53:56Next Sunday, Mom.
53:58I stood in the hallway of her building for about a minute.
54:01Didn't cry.
54:02Didn't smile.
54:02Just stood there, then I went down the stairs.
54:05On the subway back, I took my phone out for the first time since I'd texted her earlier.
54:09Nothing.
54:10He hadn't called.
54:11Hadn't texted.
54:12I didn't text him either.
54:14I put the phone face down on my thigh and watched the buildings go by outside the window.
54:19Until they got tall again.
54:20I let myself in.
54:22He was in the living room.
54:23Reading something.
54:24He looked up when he heard the door and set it down.
54:26Hi.
54:27He didn't move from the couch.
54:29Just watched me take my coat off.
54:31Where were you?
54:32My mom's.
54:34Okay.
54:35I walked over and sat down next to him.
54:37Not on him.
54:38Silas?
54:39Yeah.
54:40I'm going next Sunday, too.
54:42Okay.
54:43I didn't tell you I was going today.
54:45I know.
54:48You're not mad?
54:49No.
54:51Why not?
54:53She's your mother, Jean.
54:56What did she say?
54:59She said I was heavy.
55:01She said to lose 20 pounds.
55:04She gave me the corner of her lasagna.
55:06You ate it?
55:07I ate all of it.
55:09He nodded slow.
55:10Then he reached over, put his arm around my shoulders, and pulled me against him.
55:14He didn't say anything else.
55:15I put my face against his shoulder and realized, only then, that my hands had been shaking the whole train
55:21ride home.
55:22He didn't say I was brave.
55:23He didn't say he was proud.
55:25He just held on until I stopped shaking.