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00:00Tonight!
00:01Top lose, is it?
00:03Problematic!
00:04I'm not sure I want to date someone that thinks I'm problematic.
00:06Oh dear.
00:07And it's totes and moshe for Bobby.
00:09Gosh, it's quite the journey, isn't it?
00:10I feel like I'm on X Factor or something.
00:12As our celebs...
00:13Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna burn your ass down or nothing.
00:15No!
00:16Smear, but that's the...
00:19Dating!
00:20Go, go, go, go, go.
00:30Welcome to the Celebrity Dating Agency.
00:32The place where single celebrities flock to find the most elusive of all things.
00:37Love.
00:39I think you missed a bit, Tom.
00:41What have I told you about dust in my face?
00:42I know.
00:44Here comes trouble!
00:46Morning!
00:47Oh, morning!
00:48Oh, I like your tortoiseshells.
00:50Oh, morning!
00:51Morning.
00:52Good morning.
00:53You good?
00:53Yeah.
00:54Really well.
00:54Right, let's go do some work.
00:56Come on then.
00:56See you later.
00:57See you shortly.
00:59No sooner have Nads and Eden logged onto Facebook, our first celebrity is swaggering down the road.
01:04It's Towie Ledge and top bloke, Arjo Bajo.
01:12Oi, oi.
01:13Oh, hello, Arj.
01:15Come on up.
01:16All right.
01:18Yes, Tom.
01:19Oh, hello.
01:20Good to see you, mate.
01:22How are you?
01:23I'm very well.
01:24All the better for seeing you.
01:25Oh, as am I.
01:26You look very nice.
01:29Smart cash.
01:30My hair's a little bit floppy though.
01:31It's nice.
01:32Oh, yeah.
01:33It needs caressing.
01:34Easy, Tom.
01:35We've spoken about this.
01:37It's your consultation.
01:39I do hope lovely Arj finds a wonderful lady so he can fill her with all his happiness and joy.
01:47Now, I've heard it called some things before but never happiness and joy.
01:50Hey.
01:52How are you?
01:53Good.
01:53Something's called the sun.
01:54Yeah.
01:55I have called the sun but I always had a cheeky sunbed.
01:57I had one once.
01:59I felt like a rotisserie chicken.
02:00At the moment, I'm trying to take pride in my appearance.
02:04You know, I'll get my eyebrows waxed, I'll get my eyelashes tinted, my nostril hair waxed,
02:08I'll get my hair cut regularly, sunbeds.
02:10I'm trying to be the full package, you know.
02:11Or a lady.
02:13It's great that Arj is taking care of himself because it shows he's really serious about
02:18this and makes us want to find him someone special even more.
02:23How were you on a date?
02:24I was very much looking forward for the second date.
02:27Having hit it off with sassy Scott Yasmin.
02:30You've got nice boobs.
02:32Arj got all romantic for date number two.
02:35Mate, it's broken.
02:36Look.
02:37There ain't a finger on the other side, it's broke.
02:39And it wasn't just the boat that broke.
02:42I'm not going to lie to you.
02:43I'll probably be meeting a few different girls going on other dates.
02:46It was also Yasmin's heart.
02:48Listen, she's been the perfect girl for me to kick off my dating.
02:53I feel like there's a big butt coming.
02:55I do actually like her.
02:56Did you fancy her?
02:57She's a pretty girl, like, pretty natural sweet girl, blah, blah.
03:01But I didn't like...
03:03Like, I don't know.
03:04I just can't put my finger on it.
03:06I mean, she was a lovely girl, but there just wasn't much of a spark.
03:10I feel like your head fancied her and your heart fancied her, but your penis didn't fancy her.
03:16Maybe something along those lines.
03:18For me, the penis isn't normally the problem.
03:20He's fine.
03:21As the agents get to grips with Argy's penis, next through the doors is the man who likes to boil,
03:26wash his pyjamas, and carry that bag everywhere.
03:29What's he got in there?
03:31It's Towie star Bobby.
03:34Come in.
03:35Come in.
03:38Struggling with a knob, are you, Bobs?
03:40I suppose that is why you're here.
03:42Oh, is it a bit stiff?
03:44It was a little bit stiff.
03:46Are we still talking about the door?
03:48How are you?
03:50I'm in my PJs.
03:51They're beautiful.
03:52Do you look gold?
03:53You always look gold, mister.
03:54Will I try and be soignee for you?
03:56This is lovely, this little ensemble.
03:58Have you seen my chandelier?
04:00Oh, I've never noticed the chand before.
04:03I love it.
04:04Oh, I like the abreaves.
04:06Oh, I shorten everything, Tom, and if I can't shorten it, I make it longer.
04:10Doesn't make sense.
04:11We've got no idea what you're talking about, Bobs, but that's why we love you.
04:16Back to business, and Nads has got some news for Arge.
04:19Have we got a date for you?
04:21You've got a date for me?
04:22Uh, yeah, it's a dating agency.
04:24Well, what's she like?
04:25Tell me about her.
04:26She is a bundle of fun.
04:28What do you mean?
04:29She's great fun.
04:29When we met her, we couldn't stop smiling.
04:32She's a pocket rocket.
04:34Shall I get a picture, yeah?
04:35Mm-hmm.
04:36Meet Holly.
04:37She's very pretty.
04:39She's 20.
04:40Mm, that's a bit young.
04:42I'm 29 now, so I wouldn't go any lower than 21.
04:46Stick to your principles, Arge.
04:47Well done.
04:48What's he, yeah?
04:50Yeah, I know, but...
04:54Maybe age is just a number.
04:56That didn't take long, did it?
04:57And I'm very immature for my age.
05:00Immature?
05:00Yeah.
05:01Yeah, we're all thinking it, Arjo.
05:0420 is a bit younger than my norm,
05:07but I do trust the agents, and I'm open-minded,
05:11so I'll give it a go.
05:14As Arge heads back to Essex,
05:15the agents are set for their second catch-up of the morning.
05:19They're ready for you.
05:20Thank you, Dal.
05:21Get your sunglasses out,
05:22because your eyes are about to be assaulted by an extraordinary print clash.
05:27Hello.
05:27Are you all right, guys?
05:28I still want to know what's in that bag.
05:30Maybe some clothes for an adult.
05:32Did you get the limo?
05:33Hello, gorge.
05:34Lemo.
05:35Yep, I did.
05:35I got my zebra onesie on.
05:37It's a hell of a look, but you know what?
05:39You pull it off.
05:40I'm feeling fish right now, so I thought, just get your tiger out.
05:43I'll just pop mine away.
05:44Clearly the date went well.
05:45Yeah.
05:46Really well.
05:47On his second date with Paul, they had a picnic on the beach,
05:50which ended with a tongue sandwich.
05:54Thank you very much.
05:56Never forgets his manners, that, Bob.
05:57Lovely to see.
05:58Did it give you butterflies?
06:00Yeah, a little bit.
06:02Did it make you really tingle?
06:03I was liking what was on offer.
06:06Do you want to know what he said about you?
06:08Yeah.
06:09What did you not like about the celebrity you have dated?
06:12He crossed the box out.
06:15Such a good egg, don't you think?
06:18I am officially as happy as a dog with two dicks.
06:21What feedback would you give your celebrity date?
06:24Keep being yourself.
06:27Believe in yourself more.
06:30You have so much to offer, just being you.
06:35Oh, I'm welling up.
06:41That's nice, isn't it?
06:44I think hearing this is definitely what I need
06:48to give me the confidence going forward in this dating journey.
06:53No one's ever said that to me before.
06:55I've never felt like I've been given that approval.
06:58Gosh, it's quite the journey, isn't it?
06:59I feel like I'm on X Factor or something.
07:01You're through to boot camp, my friend.
07:04So who are you, Simon or Louie?
07:06I didn't think I could feel like this.
07:09I felt overcome with emotion.
07:12What was that film?
07:13The Karate Kid.
07:14You're like my sensei.
07:15And that's quite a butch film for me.
07:18Very butch.
07:20Surely in that shirt you're more Crouching Tiger.
07:23There's a hidden dragon.
07:26Over in Essex and Ard is getting down to the serious business of fashion for his date tonight.
07:31It's a Cuban collared shirt.
07:32However, I'm going for the more Italian-American Goodfellas style.
07:37Oh tight, it's Jimmy Meatballs.
07:40It's smart, but it's not too smart.
07:42It's smart and cool and super sexy.
07:45I feel like I look a bit like a bit of a young Robert De Niro.
07:49Less De Niro, more actual taxi driver.
07:51Absolute swagger.
07:53I actually think I look like a G.
07:55You look more like a D.
07:59Back at the agency, Bobby's got his next date with Paul on his mind.
08:03What do I do to pull out the bag and impress him for date three?
08:07We think you should go on another date with another guy.
08:09Oh, I didn't see that one coming.
08:11With another guy.
08:12Neither did he.
08:13Not Paul.
08:14Not Paul.
08:16Was that a wink or a twitch?
08:17What do you think Paul would say?
08:19I think he'd think it was a twitch.
08:21Well, Paul's aware of the process.
08:23And we need you to just get some experiences.
08:26Because you are new to dating.
08:27And he might be...
08:28Big wide world.
08:30So you need to use this process to the max.
08:33To find out if all the feelings you're having for Paul right now are 100% right.
08:38I think I'm getting scared again now.
08:41Across town, Arj is spicing up his date with a Mexican feast.
08:45That boy just loves his grub.
08:47I thought you had them eyebrows done, mate.
08:50Hurry up.
08:51Here comes Arj's date, Holly.
08:52Let's meet her, shall we?
08:54Hi, my name's Holly.
08:56I'm 20.
08:56I'm from East London.
08:58And I'm a bar mate.
08:59My friends would just probably describe me as psycho, clumsy and just crazy.
09:05I just love to have a good time.
09:08And hopefully I can find a guy that would also like have a good time with me.
09:12Hi.
09:13Holly, how are you?
09:14Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Holly.
09:15I have to stretch over.
09:16I know I'm so small.
09:17When Nadia said she was a pocket rocket, I didn't think she could literally fit in mine.
09:23How are you?
09:24I'm alright.
09:25I'm starving now.
09:26Oh, it's all good. It's all mine.
09:28Heads up Arj's could be a match made in hungry heaven.
09:30What cocktails they have?
09:32Frozen margaritos.
09:33Do you do like sex on the beach?
09:35No, unfortunately, these are the only drinks there.
09:38Classic Arj.
09:40Anything for you?
09:42I'll get a sparkling water, please.
09:44Yeah, sure.
09:45Do you like Mexican food?
09:47Do you know what?
09:48I've been to Mexico, but I've never had Mexican food.
09:50You've never had Mexican food in Mexico?
09:53Who needs guacamole with a full English?
09:56I think we're going to have a right laugh.
09:58She seems a bit ditzy, but I like it.
10:01Can I just have a grilled chicken and a regular fries?
10:05Yeah, do you know what?
10:06I want to go for the grilled chicken as well.
10:09Oh, they've got so much in common.
10:11She needs to be fed.
10:12She's starving.
10:13I know.
10:14Do you know what?
10:15I just don't stop eating.
10:16Oh, don't.
10:17That's my story all over.
10:19Let's get three Papa Doms.
10:20Shall we get some onion bhajis?
10:21Maybe just some meat samosas.
10:23Chicken tikka masala.
10:24Rice to share.
10:25Garlic and cheese naan.
10:26Give it a dress hot.
10:28You beat the jackpot, RG!
10:31Coming up!
10:33Charlotte puckers up.
10:34I've got a good feeling about this, Bob.
10:36Ooh.
10:37And Bobby bites the bullet.
10:39What we need is called Paul.
10:45And all punters punch above their weight
10:47as they aim to impress their celebrity date.
10:50Earlier, the agents threw a spanner in the works for Bobby.
10:53We think you should go on another day with another guy.
10:55With another guy.
10:56Not Paul.
10:57Getting scared again now.
10:58Sweet girl, Holly.
11:00And Arge might have found someone who speaks his language
11:02in 20-year-old pocket rocket, Holly.
11:04Do you know what?
11:05I just don't stop eating.
11:07She needs to be fed.
11:08She's starving.
11:11Over at the agency, Bobby's got some unfinished business to sort out.
11:15We do need to do one more thing.
11:17What we need to do is call Paul.
11:21and just say to him,
11:22you've been unlucky in love,
11:24but you're having to trust the process
11:26and go on other dates.
11:28Oh, really?
11:30What do you think he's going to say?
11:31I'd like to think he'd understand.
11:33Because he knows the process I'm on.
11:35I just don't want him to think I took his rose and pissed off.
11:38I cannot believe they're going to make me do this.
11:41I mean, I'm shaking him, my Louis.
11:46Hello?
11:47Hey, Paul.
11:48You all right, babe?
11:49Oh, hi, Bobby.
11:50How are you?
11:50I just want to say thank you so much again for our date the other day.
11:54I absolutely loved it.
11:56I did too.
11:57To be fair, it's probably one of the best dates I've had in a long time.
11:59It was just a beautiful day.
12:01You look great company.
12:02I've got to be honest with you.
12:04OK.
12:06I'm just with Nadia and Eden,
12:08and they're saying that I should go on a blind date with someone else
12:11just to see how good our dates really have been.
12:17Maybe she'll turn another date,
12:19but hopefully it won't go too well and you'll come back.
12:23Thank you for being so understanding, Paul.
12:26Take care.
12:26Speak to you soon.
12:28Bye.
12:28That almost makes me think he's even more of a sweetie.
12:32Do you know what I mean?
12:33Bless him.
12:34Oh, my God, that's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
12:38I've just pied off the sweetest guy.
12:40I hope Nadia and Eden know what they're doing.
12:43Dating is all about trying before you buy, so to speak.
12:46Yeah.
12:47And I've been honest with Paul,
12:48so that's already, like, a weight's been lifted a little bit.
12:51You're back to being confident, Bob.
12:52Yeah, yeah.
12:53It's great.
12:54So tell me more about this little sort.
12:55You're going to go on a blind date with someone we are almost 100% sure that you will fancy.
13:04Oh, really?
13:05Yeah.
13:06Are you excited?
13:07Bring it on.
13:08Put the cat amongst those pigeons.
13:11And that cat is going to bang all those pigeons.
13:15Over in East London, Arge is charming the pants off East Ender Holly.
13:20Do you remind me of?
13:21Who?
13:22Taylor Swift, Ellie Goulding.
13:25Barbara Windsor.
13:27You what?
13:28She was in East Enders.
13:30Peggy Mitchell from East Enders, yeah.
13:32But when she was, like, young, she was a sort back in the day.
13:34She's taken it as a compliment.
13:36I know, as long as you're not saying I'm like an old woman.
13:38No, I'm not.
13:39Can't believe you got away with that, you jammy bastard.
13:41What?
13:42I mean, Barbara Windsor was a proper little rocket back in the day.
13:46Was you born and raised in East London?
13:48Yeah, so I've, like, lived there all my life, all my family are like, East London.
13:51I love the way you speak.
13:53Why?
13:53I don't know, that's quite endearing.
13:56I prefer the way you speak with half a chicken hanging out your mouth.
13:59You're a proper Cockney.
14:00I don't know any Cockney rhyming slang.
14:02You must do.
14:03I know, like, the odd two or three, but not, like...
14:06What ones you know?
14:07Like, apple and pear, stairs.
14:09Very good.
14:11Anything else?
14:12Skin and blister, sister.
14:17Do you know any?
14:18I bet he knows Ruby Murray.
14:20Adam wickers, knickers.
14:23It's Alan with you, numpty.
14:25Boat race.
14:26Base.
14:27Oh, I know that one.
14:28She's not bad.
14:30Bit of a Bobby Dazzler.
14:33You've just got them online, ain't ya?
14:35No.
14:36You just went on your phone.
14:38I have not.
14:39I have not, you cheeky cow.
14:42I have not.
14:45Oh, do you tell him porky pies?
14:47Ha, ha, ha.
14:50Back at the agency, Nat's a need in a FaceTime in Charlotte to find out how her date with Sean
14:54went.
14:56Ah.
14:58Hi.
14:58Hi.
14:59So, how are you feeling?
15:00Actually, I'm a little bit annoyed with your bow.
15:03Oh, really?
15:04Why?
15:05You set me up with Sean Frenchy.
15:08What's your name?
15:09Er, Sean French.
15:10You're not going to get me a drink, Frenchy?
15:13When I've got me bloody loops on, he comes to the size of my big fat belly.
15:19That can't happen.
15:20He's too small.
15:23So, I was having every shot, like, under the sun.
15:26I'm having chips and gravy with loads of ketchup.
15:29Middle of the day, and you're eating chips and gravy in bed.
15:32Fucking hell.
15:34I need to tell you what else happened.
15:36I kept flirting with the waiter because he was just, like, he was making me laugh.
15:40Oh, bloody hell.
15:42You are a bad influence.
15:44To be fair, anything's a laugh after 12 shots, Charles.
15:48Then the most awkward thing happened.
15:51You found something awkward?
15:53Yeah, right.
15:54The waiter wrote his number down and passed it to him when I sat with Sean.
15:59Fair enough.
16:00That is pretty awks.
16:01If you fancy a real date, that's yours.
16:04I'll tell you what, I felt bloody like I was sexy anyway.
16:07Of course he wanted me.
16:09What man would want a bit of this?
16:13Then, me and the waiter had a little chat.
16:16How are you, baby?
16:18Good, you?
16:20A chat or a cheeky feel up next to the wheelie bins?
16:24I think I have beer goggles on.
16:26You think?
16:27Jesus.
16:28I know.
16:33Having been told to bench Paul for the night, Bobby's off for a quick trim from his favourite barber, Aidan,
16:38ahead of his blind date.
16:41Something like this moral dilemma.
16:43Two lovely dates.
16:44Emma was expecting to go on a third date with this guy called Paul.
16:48Okay.
16:48However, tonight I've got to go on a blind date.
16:51Moral dilemma is I almost feel like I'm being disloyal, but I agree with the agents.
16:57I have got to put myself out there.
16:59There's more than one tree in Epping Forest, you see what I'm saying?
17:02Of course, mate.
17:02So, I need to go and be a huntsman.
17:04Yeah.
17:04All right, Bear Grylls.
17:07I'm shitting bricks.
17:09At least when I went on a date with Paul, I knew what to expect.
17:12I don't know if this geezer's going to fancy me.
17:14Am I going to fancy him?
17:16I don't know what to expect.
17:19So, not me and his light into world affairs.
17:24You might struggle with that one, I think.
17:26Well, yeah, because I don't really watch CNN.
17:29Watch it.
17:30I'm surprised you could spell it.
17:35Meanwhile, Charlotte's still chewing the fat with nads at Eden.
17:38Well, actually, it's chips and gravy.
17:40So, how would you feel if we said we're going to set you up with a fitness instructor
17:46who's half Brazilian, lives in Leeds and your date's in Manchester?
17:51Oh, Bebe!
17:53Is he fit?
17:54So fit.
17:55Yeah.
17:56What's it called?
17:57James.
17:57Me and James might have meant to be and we can get married in Brazil.
18:00Yeah, a nice beach wedding.
18:02Be beautiful.
18:02Get married on the top of that statue in Rio de Janeiro.
18:06Yeah, that's the one.
18:07I prefer Sal Paglialli.
18:10He is a legs and bum man.
18:13I've got no bum.
18:15Well, you've got legs to die for, darling.
18:17It's third time lucky, hopefully.
18:19Fingers, toes, bunions crossed.
18:21Oof.
18:22All right, we'll leave you to your chips and gravy.
18:24Yay!
18:25Love it!
18:27Okay, bye!
18:28Bye!
18:28Good luck!
18:30Bye!
18:31Bye!
18:33Good God.
18:37Meanwhile, in East London, and Argy's favourite part of the day is coming up.
18:41It's the food!
18:43Enjoy!
18:44Thank you very much.
18:45Have you got any vinegar, please?
18:47Vinegar?
18:48Oh, you've got a sort of vinegar with the chips, isn't it?
18:49No, I put vinegar on everything.
18:51Oh, do you?
18:51Like, literally, I put it on a curry.
18:55We put vinegar with a curry?
18:57Do you actually do that?
18:58I swear to God, can I ask any of my friends?
19:00Unfortunately, we don't have vinegar.
19:03I'm really sorry.
19:04She has vinegar on everything.
19:06So this is a bad start.
19:08We've got no vinegar.
19:09Yeah.
19:11I'm not going to eat that salad, Eva.
19:13No.
19:13I'm not being funny, but I don't really eat salad.
19:17Me neither is shit, innit?
19:19I don't really like this chicken.
19:21It just reminds me of, like, a really, like, cheap Nando's, like, you know?
19:24Like, if you were going to cook it yourself.
19:26Oh, I'm not having that.
19:26No-one cooks Nando's at home.
19:28I thought I was a moly.
19:29You're much worse than me.
19:31It's just a bit dry.
19:32Put some ketchup.
19:34This is chilli.
19:34What, it's chilli ketchup?
19:36It says chipolote.
19:38It doesn't, but let's not dwell on it.
19:40Might as well have just gone McDonald's.
19:42Yeah.
19:44Don't worry.
19:44He's planning to anyway.
19:46I weren't fussed about when we went.
19:48But all I said was, oh, please don't go somewhere.
19:50They sell fish, cos I don't like fish.
19:51No, you don't like fish, either.
19:53Oh.
19:55What does this girl eat?
19:57Can't eat cheese.
19:58Can't eat cheese?
19:59What?
20:00Not even Dairy Dunkers?
20:01You would be hard work, couldn't you, when it comes to food?
20:05If she doesn't eat everything, then it might not be the end of the world.
20:10Do you mind if I have the chicken?
20:11No.
20:12Right, okay.
20:12Are you done with your chicken now?
20:14Yeah, I'm done with my chicken.
20:15Are you sure?
20:15Well, I'm not gonna lie.
20:16I'm still a little bit hungry, so I'm quite glad you left the chicken.
20:19And it's not bad for me.
20:21I bet you was, like, praying on me, like, to leave it.
20:24Probably won't chase this guy.
20:25It would be rude to leave it.
20:35If you've got a dessert menu we could have a look at?
20:37Oh, yeah, sure.
20:42So Charlotte's finally dragged herself out of bed and she's preparing for a date with half-Brazilian James.
20:47She's making sure she's looking on point by getting a...
20:50What the fuck is that?
20:53Oh!
20:54James loves bums and I need help in the arse department, so the perfect way to sort this is a
21:02bum lift.
21:04Standard.
21:05This James guy is half Brazilian, half Leeds.
21:10What a bloody mixture, eh?
21:12And it makes it better because he's also a bit northern as well.
21:15I'll say to him when I see him, I've got my Brazilian bum all done for you.
21:20Would you have been gutted if you'd have turned up with a flat bum?
21:22Yeah, I know, exactly.
21:24I've got a good feeling about this job.
21:25That might be the 500 volts of electricity being shot through your arse.
21:32Bouncing.
21:33Now that's what I call preparing for a date.
21:35Charlotte, mate, I salute you.
21:41Fresh from the barbers, Bobby's arrived for his blind date.
21:44Looking on point.
21:45This just feels like a mistake.
21:47I really like Paul, so why am I going out with someone else?
21:51Thank you, thank you very much.
21:54Hello.
21:55How are you?
21:55How are you?
21:56How are you doing?
21:56Alright, mister?
21:57It's really good to meet you.
21:58Thank you, Angie.
21:59You look really nice.
22:00You look well.
22:02I just had a sunbed.
22:03You look like you've just got back from Marbs.
22:05I did go to Gran Canaria.
22:06Oh, did you?
22:07Was it amazing?
22:07Yeah, it was good.
22:09It was a bit mental.
22:10Fair play.
22:11He's good looking.
22:12Maybe this date weren't a bad mistake after all.
22:15Chin chin.
22:17Coming up.
22:18Charlotte meets her match.
22:20It's all right.
22:21Delta.
22:22I've got a pretty feeling you may lead me down a dark path.
22:25Bobby reveals all.
22:26I've never held one in me hand.
22:28I can't guarantee I'll swallow it, but I'll try.
22:31And Arge gets the fear.
22:33Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to burn your eyes down or nothing.
22:38Taxi!
22:41Go Dagan.
22:43Where the path to true love never runs smooth.
22:46Do you do, like, sex on the beach?
22:48Do you?
22:49Unless your name is Arge, of course, who is smoothing it up with 20-year-old pocket rocket,
22:54Holly.
22:56Charlotte's had a lift in a hunt for a man.
22:59Oh!
23:01I'll say to him, I've got my Brazilian bum all done for you.
23:05And Bobby's testing his feelings for Paul.
23:10By going on a date with Jack.
23:12You look like you've just got back from Arbs.
23:15He's a bit of a soul.
23:17This could go somewhere.
23:19I hope the agents know what they're doing.
23:22Back at CGDHQ, Nadia and Eden are catching up with Chelsea's finest top.
23:27Hey, guys!
23:29How are you doing?
23:30I miss you guys.
23:31Do you miss me?
23:32Yeah, we do.
23:33Where are you?
23:34I'm in Ibiza.
23:35Whoa!
23:36What?
23:37I'm having such a nice day.
23:39Tell us about your date with Benji.
23:41Oh, my God, guys.
23:42I walked in and I saw him.
23:44I was like, wow, I fancy you so much.
23:48Tough date with flurry shirt-loving Benji seemed to hit all the right notes.
23:52I'm in a band.
23:52No way.
23:53I taught English in Thailand.
23:54Wow.
23:55Worked in a vineyard in France.
23:56I don't know much about wine, but I bloody love it.
23:58But then, Toph brought up politics.
24:01Okay, right, so here's the political spectrum.
24:03I'm centred out.
24:04I mean, I'm kind of everywhere between, like, there and...
24:07Sometimes I'm, like, right out there, like anarchist.
24:11Guys, he's basically a bloody communist.
24:13Wow, okay.
24:15Hold up, who put Newsnight on?
24:16How would you rate your date out of ten?
24:19Seven and a half.
24:21Well, Benji, he gave you an eight.
24:23Oh, okay.
24:25Describe your celebrity date in three words.
24:28Fun.
24:29Yes.
24:31Beautiful.
24:32Boom.
24:34And...
24:35problematic.
24:36Typical communist.
24:38What?
24:39That's the weirdest feedback I've ever heard.
24:42You should hear Charlotte's.
24:44Problematic.
24:44I just don't know what to make of it, guys.
24:46I have never been called such a thing in my entire life.
24:51Talk about mixed signals.
24:52Fucking hell.
24:53Well, I'm not sure I want to see him now that he thinks I'm a problem.
24:56Oh, dear.
24:57Guys, help me.
24:59Political beliefs are really important, but not on a first date.
25:03The sooner Toph realises this, the better for all of us.
25:08Big kids.
25:09Get a nice tan.
25:10Right.
25:10I will try my best.
25:12See you.
25:12Bye.
25:13Bye.
25:14Bye-bye-bye.
25:15Oh.
25:17That touched a nerve.
25:18Yes, it did.
25:22In Manchester, Charlotte's about to meet her blind date.
25:25Fitness instructor, James.
25:26Yeah, tack him in Charlotte.
25:28Hey there.
25:29I'm James Sam Watkinson.
25:30I'm 28 years old.
25:31I'm a Latin lad from West Yorkshire.
25:33I'm half Brazilian.
25:34I'm a personal trainer and body coach.
25:36My body has probably been the most attractive aspect of me.
25:41Nope.
25:42I will save that one for later.
25:43Oh, you big tease.
25:45Hey.
25:47I'm good.
25:47How are you?
25:48Can I have a porn star martini?
25:50I just want a sort of martini?
25:51Yeah, to go in my outfit.
25:56Hurry up, James.
25:57She's got a thing for waiters.
26:00Hey.
26:00Hi there.
26:01You all right?
26:02Not too bad, not too bad.
26:03You all right?
26:05I'm Charlotte.
26:06James, nice to meet you.
26:07Nice to meet you, James.
26:10Nardia was bang on.
26:11He's all right, Delta.
26:13So, are you half Brazilian?
26:15Yes, yes, I am.
26:16I'm half Brazilian.
26:17And half-leaved.
26:17I've been at Yorkshire lad my entire life, born and raised.
26:20Do you like Yorkshire pudding?
26:22Who the hell does it?
26:24I'm obsessed with chips and gravy.
26:26I had chips and gravy today in bed.
26:29It was Christmas.
26:29I got a burger and chips, and I was eating, I was thinking,
26:32these chips would be perfect, if only they had some gravy.
26:35Yeah, gravy, I know.
26:36Shut up.
26:37He loves chips and gravy.
26:39I think he's the one.
26:41Is that the porn star martini, isn't it?
26:42Yeah.
26:43Do you like porn stars?
26:46She'll be offering him a screaming orgasm next.
26:48Do you want to get a drink?
26:49At the moment, I'm not really drinking, but...
26:52Are you not drinking?
26:53No.
26:54Not drinking?
26:56Are you chumpin' having a laugh?
26:58James Brave, you might want to reconsider that on a date with this one.
27:03Back in London, and Argy's date with Holly has so far been a barrel of our laughs.
27:07You're quite ditsy.
27:09Is that fair to say?
27:10Yeah, no.
27:10Do you know what I am?
27:11I'm not gonna lie.
27:12No, you don't have to lie.
27:14I know.
27:14Trust me.
27:15Here we go, Captain Banter set sail.
27:18Not everyone's cut out for, like, intelligence.
27:22I'm sure you're intelligent.
27:23No, I think...
27:24Did you get any GCSEs at school?
27:25You're starting to sound like a career advisor.
27:28No.
27:29No.
27:30No.
27:30Well, in my previous job, I said that I'd be in maths, and they put me in charge of a
27:36CAS.
27:38That company must be fucked.
27:40I'm not sure a career advisor would say that.
27:43I think that's why I got the sack.
27:46Holly's a great laugh, but I'm starting to feel more like an older brother than anything else.
27:52Have you took any driving lessons?
27:54I'm trying to do it at the moment.
27:55I would take driving lessons, but I get confused about my left and right and stuff.
27:58What do you mean?
27:59Don't know what you're left and right?
28:00I do, but...
28:01Well, kind of like...
28:02Do you know you've got to do that, like, the L and the right?
28:04The what?
28:05You know, like, that L is, like, left and that's right.
28:08Yeah.
28:08L for left.
28:10But then that's...
28:11Is this actually happening?
28:13Yeah, but, like, that's...
28:14It's amazing.
28:15You...
28:15Sorry, I should have laughed.
28:17It's not funny.
28:18It is.
28:20Basically, for you to know where left is, you have to do your hand like that and then you see
28:25an L.
28:26Yeah.
28:27Okay.
28:27I can't really do that while I'm driving.
28:29Do you see my problem?
28:30Yeah, maybe get the bus home.
28:33Over to Bobby, who's on a date with new fella Jack.
28:37I don't actually know what I fancy.
28:39Story of your life at the moment, Bob.
28:41I do feel guilty about Paul, but I need to not think about him and just give Jack a chance.
28:47What vibe are you on?
28:48I don't know.
28:49Do you eat meat?
28:50You try and stop him.
28:51Meat, I eat.
28:52Fish, I don't.
28:53I'm not gonna go there.
28:55You don't eat fish?
28:56No, nothing out of the sea.
28:57See, they've got oysters on the menu.
28:59I've never had oysters.
29:00Could you not do an oyster?
29:02I've never tried it.
29:03Would you like to try one?
29:04Should we do it?
29:05Colchester Rock oysters.
29:07Oh, they're from Colchester.
29:08Shut up.
29:08Their rest is oysters.
29:10Yeah, they come in a deep orange colour.
29:12I thought oysters come from, like, Italy.
29:14No, it's pasta.
29:15Yeah, or a Caribbean country.
29:17No, it's not Marley.
29:18I have no idea.
29:20I've never held one in me hands.
29:22Shall we have a look at what they look like?
29:23Shall we do it?
29:23I can't guarantee I'll swallow it, but I'll try.
29:27Reminds me of my honeymoon.
29:28We had oysters.
29:30Life is all about trying a new thing.
29:33Experimental, isn't it?
29:34Experimental.
29:35Yeah, 100%.
29:36Oh, my God.
29:37This morning when I woke up, I was married off with Paul.
29:41Now I'm sat here about to neck an oyster with a salt.
29:45I'm loving life.
29:50Back with Arjun.
29:51He's getting to know the real Holly.
29:53So, what, have you been dating recently?
29:54You've been single for long or what?
29:56Do you know what, right?
29:56I just think I have a nightmare when it comes to, like, boys and whatever.
30:00I think I've been described as quite a loon before.
30:03Described as what?
30:04Quite a bit of a lunatic.
30:05Good luck, fella.
30:06Don't get me wrong.
30:07I'm not going to burn your ass down or nothing.
30:14My thoughts exactly.
30:16It's just, like, obviously, if someone tries to mug me off,
30:18I don't feel embarrassed about burning them the odd Android times or something.
30:21Do you know what I mean?
30:23Mmm, yeah, kind of.
30:25So, if I was to mug you off, you'd just ring me those times?
30:28Yeah, just, like, really give you a bit of use.
30:30All girls do it.
30:31Don't say do.
30:32Taxi!
30:33Yeah, I'm right behind you.
30:37In Manchester, Charlotte's finding out more about her Brazilian.
30:41Tell you what I really want to go to?
30:43The carnival.
30:44If you're going to go to Carval, don't go to Rio.
30:47Go to Salvador.
30:47I'm known for, like, my outfit, so...
30:50You'd be hard-pressed to shock him in Brazil.
30:52He hasn't seen me on a Friday night, has he?
30:55My mother's outrageous.
30:56Really?
30:57Oh, yeah, everything.
30:57Would she like me?
30:58She'd probably have a laugh with you.
30:59Yeah.
31:00Potential meeting with the mum?
31:01This is looking good.
31:02I got a Brazilian bum list today.
31:05I wouldn't open with that.
31:09Cos I knew that I was coming to see her.
31:12Cos I heard that you like bums, so...
31:14Well, I've got no choice but to corrupt him.
31:17Hi.
31:18Hi there.
31:19Hi there.
31:20Oh, here we go.
31:22Pressure's on.
31:23Can I have one?
31:24Yeah.
31:25I'll nick...
31:26I'll rob one drink.
31:28You've been Dawsoned, mate.
31:30Thank God.
31:31I knew he was going to be up for a laugh.
31:33All he needed was a bit of a push from Shazza.
31:35I've got a funny feeling you may lead me down a dark path.
31:38That's like a red rag to a ball, mate.
31:41Over with Arjo Bajo and his date with self-confessed loon Holly is drawing to an end.
31:46I've had...
31:47I've had a lovely time.
31:49Yeah, I've had a good time.
31:50Yeah, good.
31:51And yeah, like, yeah, I've just had a really nice time in regards to like...
31:55Yeah.
31:55Like, for me, personally, like, I wouldn't, um...
31:58I've got to be honest with her.
32:00I've got to pull the plug.
32:01Like, romantically, like, I think, like, maybe because I'm 29, you're 20, if I'm being honest, you are a bit
32:08young for me.
32:09I could never see anything more happening.
32:11Yeah, I'm Joel.
32:12I'm so glad you said that.
32:14No, but I've had a laugh.
32:15Cheers.
32:16Cheers.
32:16For your water.
32:17A good date and a good laugh.
32:18And you're a nice girl.
32:20Oh, massively dodged one there.
32:23Right, Holly, I'm off this way.
32:24All right, see you later.
32:25I'm going to go that way.
32:26Are you sure that's the right way, yeah?
32:27Yeah, I like it.
32:29You can just wait for the phone calls, mate.
32:32Up in Manchester, Charlotte's midway through corrupting fitness instructor, James.
32:37I've got him drinking, obviously, but he's still a bit lukewarm.
32:42I need to get him sizzling hot.
32:44So, what are your hobbies, Em?
32:46That'll do it.
32:47I am a huge geek.
32:49Are you?
32:50Massive geek.
32:51People don't think it when they see me by my, uh, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, video games, comics.
32:57I have a comic book stack twice my height.
33:00Imagine Big Bang Theory, but if they went to the gym.
33:02Oh, my God.
33:04She's more Big Bang, less theory.
33:06I've always wanted one of those.
33:09I can do a great Gollum impression from World of the Rings.
33:12Was that really what he was after, Charlotte?
33:14Go on, do your Gollum impression.
33:17Stupid fat hubbuses.
33:19Smeable likes the war-hanging ribbon.
33:22Oh, Christ, mate.
33:23I mean, it's a good impression, but not now.
33:27So, did you do that Gollum impression, like, in bed and stuff?
33:30Harder, harder.
33:32Harder, harder.
33:32Oh, my God.
33:34I can't go.
33:35And that's why he wasn't drinking.
33:38Coming up.
33:39Go, go, go, go, go.
33:40Bobby barfs.
33:42As Charlotte strips.
33:44Woo!
33:46Tating, where the path to true love often leads to, well, tequila, mainly.
33:51All right, mister.
33:52All right.
33:53See you later.
33:53Earlier, Bobby was eyeing up a new dish on his date with Jack.
33:57Do you eat meat?
33:58Me, I ate.
33:59Fish, I don't.
34:00And Charlotte planned to loosen up fitness fanatic James.
34:03I got a bazillion bum list today.
34:07I've got a pretty feeling you may lead me down a dark path.
34:14Back with Bobby and the oysters have arrived.
34:18You all right there, Bob?
34:20Oh, God.
34:21They do look a bit funny.
34:23I'm not being rude.
34:24They look like embryos.
34:26Steady, Bob.
34:26Remember first impressions and all that?
34:28This is like a bush-tucker trial.
34:31Bob, you don't need any more stars for camp.
34:33Oh, it's on my finger.
34:36Right, come on.
34:38I'm going to give you the biggest one.
34:39All right, you've only just met.
34:41I'm getting a fucking terrible backlash.
34:44Smell's kidding, though.
34:45I'm going to do it.
34:46You better do it.
34:46Shit the bed.
34:47Hold on, I'm not mentally ready.
34:48What are you going to do?
34:49Come on, hold it together, Bob.
34:51Go, go, go, go, go.
34:55Quick, in your bag, Bobby.
34:57You might not notice.
34:58I can't.
34:58That wasn't that bad.
34:59Come on, Bob.
35:02This is literally the rankest thing I've ever had in my mouth.
35:07Wow, that is a big statement.
35:09That's it, Bob.
35:10Show him what you're made of.
35:15Do you want some water?
35:16Don't give it water.
35:17It might come back alive.
35:18This ain't the first time a date's made me gag,
35:21but never this early on.
35:23This ain't what I had in mind.
35:25Babe, the juice is ready, Mama.
35:27It's not for me.
35:28I can eat a shrimp and a chow mein, but that's a step to fire.
35:32Okay.
35:33Sorry, Colchester.
35:34It's a no from me.
35:38Meanwhile, Charlotte's date James should be very scared,
35:40as she's come up with a plan to lead him further astray.
35:43Very fruity.
35:45Very fruity.
35:46Very fruity, like me.
35:48I told you I'm leading you up the dark path.
35:50Yep, you are.
35:52What the hell is she ordered now?
35:54Uh-oh.
35:55Here comes the shots.
35:58Oh, yeah.
36:02He's a sexy geek with a sexy body, but he definitely needs a rocket up his arse.
36:08And I'm just going to put one of these drinks.
36:10This is definitely spicy.
36:14I'm going to spice up your life.
36:16That's what I'm going to do.
36:17She's like an unholy mix of ginger and scary spice.
36:20Eins, zwei, drei.
36:21What's eins, zwei, drei?
36:23One, two, three.
36:25You sure it's not German for I'm shit scared?
36:28Eins, eins, zwei, drei, drei, schluss.
36:32Shush.
36:33Shush.
36:34And coming up on your left, you'll see the dark path.
36:37Ooh.
36:38Look at you.
36:40This is not good.
36:41I thought this geezer was Brazilian.
36:42What's happening?
36:46Let's see how Bobby's getting on on what can only be described as a sick date.
36:50More in the traditional sense of the word.
36:52So how long have you been single, mister?
36:55About six years.
36:56Well, I just don't really ever meet the right person.
36:59So how old are you?
37:0028.
37:0029.
37:0128.
37:01See, you're not far from me.
37:03So...
37:04How old are you?
37:05Being 30.
37:06So we've got a two year age.
37:07I don't really like men that are 29.
37:10Oh, so I'm a bit old.
37:13What's your type of guy?
37:14I love a guy with a tattoo.
37:16I love ink.
37:17Me too, yeah.
37:18This looks promising.
37:19I did say to Nadia and Eden that my type wasn't really camp guys.
37:26Oh, maybe not.
37:28Fuck my life.
37:29So I've sacked off Paul and he ain't even into camp guys.
37:33I mean, I ain't the butchest of geezers, am I?
37:36If you don't mind me asking, how did you think I'd be?
37:40Obviously I've seen you on TOWIE before and I thought you were hilarious.
37:44Was you expecting it to be a bit horrendous and you can be honest?
37:48No, I...
37:48Be brutally honest.
37:50If I'm being honest, I expected it that we would...
37:52I would think of you more as a really good friend.
37:57A friend?
37:58A friend?
37:59I didn't join a dating agency to find a friend.
38:02I'm gonna kill Nadia and Eden.
38:04Well, this is arse aching the awkward.
38:07Let's get out of here.
38:10Let's get back up north in Manchester where Charlotte's having a one-woman carnival
38:14and it seems Brazilian James is being dragged along for the ride.
38:17Come on Dawson, let the poor lad come up for it.
38:20I love this one.
38:22Yes!
38:26Phase one, getting drunk, completed.
38:30Phase two, getting naked, in progress.
38:36So, have you got any tattoos?
38:38Yeah, I've got a Brazil tattoo on the shoulder.
38:41Show me your tattoo.
38:42Ooh!
38:42Oh, it's getting hot in here, innit?
38:46Oh!
38:47It's a parrot.
38:48So, you've got a bird's head there, the wings come off.
38:51By the end of the night, that won't be the only bird on him.
38:55Ooh, let's just take it out.
38:59Ooh!
39:03That's amazing!
39:05Now I've got full of nine candy now in front of me.
39:07I'm in a different world right now.
39:09I'm in a different world.
39:10Nope, still in a bar in Manchester, still topless.
39:14What?
39:14I want you to shake.
39:16You want me to shape my bum?
39:17Or your bum?
39:18Show me a Brazilian dance.
39:20My mum can samba.
39:21I can't.
39:21Well, you're my mate here, now dance.
39:23Biatch!
39:27Ooh, look at him shaking that little cockroach it is.
39:32I can't wait to get my hands on it.
39:34I can't.
39:35I genuinely can't samba, but my mother, she's, she can.
39:38I think I should have a dance-off for your mum.
39:41You'd have a laugher there.
39:42All right, my mum can smash the lamb before, but I don't keep banging on about it.
39:48Right, how's our Bobby getting on with Jack the Ladd?
39:50Got some hench arms on you, ain't ya?
39:52I try it, I try it.
39:54I go to the gym a lot, but I'm not a proper gym goer.
39:58You're a nice size, you're not light.
40:00Yeah, yeah.
40:02I think you've got a lovely figure in shape.
40:03Oh, thank you very much.
40:05The more I get to know Jack, the more I like him.
40:08I might not be his usual type, but I'm going to give it a bash.
40:12I love your tattoos.
40:13Thank you, I really like this one here.
40:15Oh, that's my guardian angel.
40:17Do you believe in spirits and angels?
40:19Oh, million percent.
40:20I keep noticing the number 122 122.
40:24What, really? No way.
40:26I might look up and I'll see the bus 122.
40:29Oh my God, that's the bus I get home.
40:31I had a pencil in my hand and it had 122, but etched in it, HB122 or whatever.
40:37See what? I had that pencil too.
40:39Literally everything for the last couple of weeks has been 122.
40:43And I feel like that's a number, that's like a sign.
40:45That's a sign.
40:46Yeah.
40:46Yeah.
40:47122, shut up.
40:49That's the number of my tanning salon.
40:51This is fake.
40:53I just think that we all have like, spirit guides or we have our own angel.
40:57I'm literally all about that.
40:59It's like my religion, like I'm just spiritual.
41:02So to me, I believe in karma.
41:05That's my kind of mantra in life.
41:06We have so much in common.
41:08It's like we're meant to be together.
41:10Don't you mean the one, two, two?
41:13Whoa!
41:14Have that.
41:18Talking of experts on spirits.
41:20Oh, you are really cute.
41:22I think my love.
41:24Although saying that, Charlotte has had exactly 122 shots.
41:28Spooky.
41:29I've already planned my wedding, you know, in Rio de Janeiro.
41:33Yes, James.
41:34She means you.
41:36Are you having a good time?
41:37It's been a fantastic time.
41:38It's been a great experience.
41:39It's been a great life.
41:40Mate, you might want to tell your face that.
41:42I don't want to say bye to you.
41:44Yeah.
41:45You're going to have to.
41:46I think he might need his stomach pumped.
41:48They do say absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
41:50What a coincidence.
41:51Charlotte says absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
41:55Come on, let's go.
41:58I feel a bit drunk, do you?
42:00Yes, because he's been on a date with you.
42:02My date tonight was absolutely fabulous.
42:06Like, I'm full on butterfying.
42:09Do you want to eat him?
42:11I'm sure you can salt some...
42:13Oh, yeah, you're doing it already.
42:14Fair enough.
42:16Like I say, she's a force of nature.
42:18I wasn't necessarily prepared.
42:19I felt sort of overpowered a little bit by it.
42:22Overpowered?
42:22She absolutely dominated you.
42:25Until next time.
42:27Have a good night.
42:28Have a good night, darling.
42:30This is the chuffing one.
42:32Done.
42:32Don't miss me too much.
42:33I'll try not to.
42:39Right, let's see how Bobby and Jack's date's going back in London.
42:42I've had such a lovely evening.
42:44So have I?
42:45Have you?
42:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:47I'm, like, pleasantly surprised.
42:49I'm very attracted to you.
42:51Like, more attracted to you than I thought I would be.
42:53Oh, really?
42:54That's nice tonight.
42:55Aw, that's really cute.
42:56It's changed my whole perception of what my type is.
43:00Because now I just realise I don't really have a type.
43:03It's just whoever you're with that you click with.
43:05Yes.
43:06That's nice to know.
43:07I feel like we've clicked.
43:08I don't know about you.
43:09I feel like we have.
43:10I'm good.
43:10I'm glad.
43:11My guardian angel is defo looking out for me tonight.
43:17Damn it.
43:18Lovely.
43:18Come on then.
43:20Don't forget your bag of sick.
43:22Come on, babe.
43:26It's been really nice.
43:28I loved it.
43:28I was glad I met you.
43:30Look how beautiful it is.
43:32Oh, it's stunning, isn't it?
43:34Romantic.
43:35Thank you so much for a lovely evening.
43:37I've had a really good evening.
43:38Did you have a nice dinner?
43:39I did, yeah.
43:43Looks like they're going to Essex for dessert.
43:46Thank you very much.
43:49And that's until we meet again.
43:51Thank you for a lovely dinner.
43:53Oh my God, I can't believe we snucked.
43:55He's such a good kisser.
43:57I can't stop thinking about him.
44:00My date with Bobby was amazing.
44:03We had a kiss and I really can't wait to see him again.
44:06Aw, that's what the last bloke said.
44:08Just saying.
44:12Next week, the agency is getting bigger.
44:16They're knocking a wall through.
44:17The books are thirsty at the seams.
44:21As we welcome two new celebs.
44:24Sarah Jane Crawford.
44:25I'm looking for the one.
44:26I haven't got time to be dicking around with the dickheads.
44:30And Frankie Cocosa.
44:32People think I'm a bad boy, but I'm not.
44:35I like it on proper boyfriend material.
44:37Fuck me.
44:38I think I was an invitation.
44:40Darling, I'm a professional.
44:42If they thought last week was hard,
44:44they haven't seen anything yet.
44:47It's about to get more intense.
44:50I would like to have kids in the next 12 months.
44:52More heated.
44:53Here's my fucking vagina.
44:55Here's the fucking shot.
44:56You're sabotaging yourself.
44:58And a whole lot hotter.
45:00Come here, you.
45:01Who'll go the distance?
45:03And who'll be left on the shelf?
45:05All right.
45:05Let's go.
45:05Let's go.