- 4 weeks ago
In Episode 3 of The Next Lesson, Tamika Washington explores why building relationships before challenges arise is one of the most important things parents can do. From elementary school through high school, you'll learn how to partner with your child's A-Team, communicate effectively, navigate concerns, and understand when and who to contact for support.
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00:05Hey, everybody. Welcome back. I'm so excited that we are here today. It has been, I will
00:13be honest, like a little crazy busy trying to get kids and schedules back in, missing
00:20recording dates and times. And so we are back in the swing of things. And I just want to
00:26say thank you so much for your patience and for joining, subscribing, liking, sharing.
00:32I've gotten some great feedback from so many of our listeners and just want to say thank
00:37you. Let's go ahead and just dive right in because this episode today is about building
00:42your child 18. And this is so important because every parent needs more than just the teacher
00:52on their side. Again, I want to welcome you back to the next lesson. Today, I want to
00:57ask you a question. When your child has a problem at school, who do you pick up that phone and
01:03call first? For most parents, the answer is real simple. It's the teacher. And while your
01:09child's teacher is incredibly important, I want to challenge you to think differently
01:12today. Your child doesn't have just one advocate at the school. They have an entire team. And
01:19one of the biggest mistakes that families make is waiting for something to go wrong until
01:25they meet with someone on that team. Hey, I've never coached sports, but if you've ever coached
01:30sports, you know that championships, they're not one with just one single player. It takes
01:35an entire team because everyone understands their role. And education and our child's school
01:41experience, it's no different. When I go to schools, I like to just sit back and watch.
01:45Before the bell ring, you'll see teachers giving handshakes and high fives. You'll see counselors
01:51checking in with students who may have had a difficult week. You'll see principals and members
01:56of the admin team. They're walking the hallways. They got the keys clinging. They're helping people
02:01get settled into classrooms and they're celebrating student work, making sure that that building feels
02:06warm and welcome. You'll even see interventionists who are working with students who need some of that
02:12extra support. You walk in the front office, you see the front office staff, you see the school
02:16nurses, you see custodians making sure that that building is clean. But parents, we often only see
02:23one person. And families need to understand that when you have an entire team, the child benefits.
02:30Now, here's the thing. Our support should grow, not shrink. During an 8-for-8 promotion ceremony,
02:36I shared something that I still believe with my whole heart. I told the parents this. High school
02:41is not a time to give your child more freedom. It's actually the time for you to stay even more
02:46involved. Yes, I know they needed dependence, but let me explain. They do. Our goal is actually to raise
02:53little independent leaders, right? But that doesn't mean that we disengage. High school decisions have
02:59long-term consequences. Your child gets the wrong course sequence. They get a schedule that
03:05doesn't align with their graduation requirements. They miss opportunities for dual enrollment or
03:12career and technical education opportunities, advanced placement or AP internships, military
03:19opportunities, or even entrepreneurship opportunities. Those actual opportunities matter.
03:26And parents, instead of you tying your shoes and packing up lunchboxes, you're going to be helping
03:31your child make decisions that can shape their adulthood. We're talking about college, careers,
03:37military, trade schools, and even entrepreneurship. Those pathways do not begin their senior year.
03:44They start as early as sixth grade. That's why your involvement, it remains essential. It's not that
03:51you're controlling or you're hovering over them. You are asking kids and counselors questions.
03:59What classes are they taking? What career are you interested in? What opportunity have you learned about
04:04your school? What skills are you wanting to build or need to build outside the classroom? Sometimes, y'all,
04:10kids simply don't know because nobody has showed them. And the reality is also this. Parents don't know
04:16what's available because education system hasn't explained it. That's why relationships, man, they actually
04:22matter. So if you and I were sitting across from the kitchen table today, here's what I tell you.
04:27Please don't let your relationship with the school become transactional. Don't let the only time that
04:33you send an email is in the heat of you being frustrated. Don't let the only phone call that
04:38you make is after you get a discipline referral. And don't let the first conference that you have
04:43with your child's teacher be after they've already failed a test. Relationships are easier to build
04:49before there's a problem to solve. Now, you need to build your 18 before you actually need an 18.
04:56One of the greatest gifts that you can give your child is a strong partnership between home and
05:02school. It begins with knowing who is on your child's team. And of course, you got the classroom
05:08teacher, but who's the grade level administrator? Who's the school counselor? Who's the person that
05:13supports attendance? Who provides reading interventions? Who coordinates special education
05:18services or special services for gifted education? Who's the school nurse? Who works in the front
05:23office? Every one of those people that I just named, they play a critical role in your child's school
05:29experience. Parents often ask me this question, who should I contact when something, something,
05:35something happens? And here's my general recommendation. If it's a classroom issue, call the teacher.
05:40If it's something that where additional supports needed, involve your grade level administrator
05:45or the school counselor. Those are people who are interacting with your child on a consistent basis,
05:51and they are best positioned to understand the total picture. Not every concern needs to go straight to
05:58the principal, to the district office, or even to the school board. Most issues can be resolved when
06:03that communication starts at the right level and when those relationships are already built.
06:09Those conversations, they're much easier to build and to have before it's on fire.
06:18So I want to pause right here because we're talking about conversations. A lot of people are tired of
06:22spending a lot of money to have fun, right? Here's one idea I have for you. Leave the cooking to
06:27somebody
06:27else this weekend. Get mom out of the kitchen, grab the kids, and enjoy breakfast or lunch together,
06:33and make some memories. One of the local favorites here in Columbia is Biscuitville. They have locations
06:40in South Carolina and in North Carolina. It's a great stop for breakfast before you have a family
06:46outing or you go to the grocery store. And hey, Biscuitville offers free kids meals on the weekends.
06:54Just call your Biscuitville location and make sure first. And don't just make it an opportunity to go out
06:59to eat. Have good conversations. What are you liking about school so far? You know, what's been the best
07:04part of your week? What's your favorite class? What's one thing that you're learning? Those
07:08conversations cost nothing, but they build relationships that last a lifetime. Because you
07:13know what I say, the next lesson isn't just in the classroom. Sometimes it's happening over a warm
07:19butter biscuit. I think I'm going to Biscuitville this weekend. Now, here's the thing that we don't like.
07:27We don't like talking about things that are happening at home. You have to understand this.
07:33As a parent, your children, they're carrying things to school. Whether it's a family member
07:39preparing for surgery, a family member going through divorce, grandparents having to move into
07:44the house, housing instability, financial hardships, changes like moving into a new home, y'all,
07:51they create stress for children. They don't leave those emotions on the bus, in your car,
07:56or at the school door. They carry them into their math class, into reading, into lunch, and into
08:00their friendships. And sometimes we expect teachers, I'm going to just be honest, to understand
08:05why Johnny is acting a fool, and that teacher doesn't know the story behind them. They can't
08:10support what they don't know. Now, I'm not saying that a school has to know every detail of your
08:15personal life, but sharing appropriate things help educators and schools respond instead of making a lot
08:22of assumptions. Hear me when I say that. These are often tools for concerns about bullying or kids
08:29sharing things on social media. Take the time to know what tools your district offers so that you
08:36know where and how to report concerns. And you know where to get help because safety, learning,
08:40and communication, those things go hand in hand. You definitely are your child's first advocate.
08:47But I also want to leave you with this thought. You should not rely 100% on education systems
08:54to educate and equip your child. Schools, yes, they play an incredible role. And teachers can change
09:00lives. Administrators, they care deeply. Counselors support every student. But nobody knows your child
09:06like you do. No one knows the hopes and dreams that your child carries and the prayers that you pray
09:13for your child like you do. That's why it is important for families to have practical tools and
09:19to understand how to start conversations. That's why I started this podcast, because I was hearing from
09:25parents that they needed help to advocate with confidence, not just with confrontation. Because
09:30advocacy is not about arguing, y'all. It's about partnering. It's about asking the right questions.
09:36It's about being informed about the education that your child's receiving. And so that they'll have
09:42every opportunity to speak and thrive and grow. And here's the thing. The next one that we're going
09:49to do, the next episode, we're going to tackle assessments. What does MAP scores mean? I Ready,
09:54Star, EOC. What do they actually tell us? What questions should you be asking as a parent? And here's
10:01something that I really want you to think about. If your child is earning A's and B's throughout the year,
10:06but they're not demonstrating mastery on the end of a year assessment, like they're not meeting the
10:11mark, you need to find out why. What is that story about their grades and that assessment telling you
10:17as a parent? And what support or challenge is your school willing to provide based on those results?
10:25And here's the thing. Even if your child is exceeding expectations, those questions and answers should not
10:30stop. You need to ask, what does this mean for my child now that he has exceeded mastery? Because
10:36mastery, y'all, isn't the finish line. Growth never, ever stops. So here's what I want to do. I want
10:43to
10:43challenge you to do something. We're going to call this the Backpack Parent Check. Ask these questions.
10:49Do I know the names of the people on my child's school team? Does my child's school know about any
10:56major events or changes that could affect my child? Have I introduced myself before there's a problem?
11:06Do I know how to report concerns or even ask for support? And finally, am I partnering with the school
11:13or only contacting them whenever there's something that's wrong? Here's what I wanted you to do this
11:19week. I'm going to challenge you. Email the teacher, CC the counselor, and the admin. Ask a simple
11:25question. Tell them who you are, who your child is, and ask them, how can we partner? How can we
11:34partner
11:35this school year together to make sure that Johnny has a successful year? And I know education is
11:42complex. That's why I'm here. I don't want you to have to do any of this alone. I don't want
11:49you to
11:49have to figure things out because I know as a parent, it is difficult, especially when you have
11:56multiple kids in schools. And so if you ever, ever need any help, just come back to this episode,
12:03pause it, write down some notes. You can even reply and send an email and we'll be more than happy
12:10to
12:10give you some tools and questions that you actually should be asking. But start with the ones that we
12:15keep listed and that we shared in this episode first. You should not have to figure out this
12:20education system alone. And I want you to always remember that the next lesson is not just happening
12:27in your child's classroom. It's the moments in our lives that shape our families and our children's
12:38experience. I want to remind you to make sure that you are subscribed to your, uh, that you like and
12:48subscribe. We are on YouTube. So this episode is going to be uploaded to YouTube. And as I promised in
12:54our, uh, if you follow me on social media, that all of our, uh, episodes will have video as well.
13:02We are also, um, subs on sub stack. So make sure that you are subscribed on sub stack. You're on
13:08subscribe. You get sub stack, not sub scrap, sub stack. You get actual, um, tools that you can add
13:16to your toolbox, um, to help you on this education journey. We are on Apple podcast. Yay for Apple.
13:24So make sure that you, if you, if you are an Apple user, hello, make sure that you like and
13:30subscribe
13:30on Apple as well. So that, you know, when our episodes are coming out and y'all, I, I am
13:36challenging
13:37myself. I'm going to up the ante because I know there's so much information that I want to share.
13:43So we're going to go to two episodes every month and one bonus episode, giving you just that, uh,
13:50deep dive and what's coming up next. Thank you all so much for listening and have a wonderful rest of
13:58the week and let me know if y'all like Biscuitville or not. It's another place I want to shout
14:03out,
14:03but we'll wait to our next episode.
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