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A show dedicated to single mothers navigating the journey of raising their children. Designed as an empowering sanctuary, it offers practical wisdom, faith-filled guidance, and honest conversation.
This dynamic platform serves as a dedicated space where moms are deeply rooted in faith and continually rising in strength. #singlemoms #faith #Jesus
This dynamic platform serves as a dedicated space where moms are deeply rooted in faith and continually rising in strength. #singlemoms #faith #Jesus
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LifestyleTranscript
00:08barbara hello and welcome how are you hi morning tc i'm well thank you and what a privilege to be
00:14with you again this morning thank you absolutely uh you know barbara it is sometimes uh when
00:22a a woman or uh yeah a woman ends up being a single mother uh society may may look at
00:32it in a negative
00:33way like oh you know um this person shouldn't did things that they were not supposed to do you know
00:41out of wedlock and so on and so forth but today we learn and even yes and even last week
00:48we learned
00:48that it is various circumstances that lead us into as women being a single mother it's like your
00:57story jeff if you could just if you could just briefly barbara um just you know just recap uh
01:03about your story and how you ended up being a single mother yes sure um my circumstances were
01:11you know as i said last week you couldn't you couldn't possibly be prepared for that it's
01:15something that happens um and you're thrown in at the deep end we speak about that so easily but i
01:20was a young mom i was married at 21 um i had my son out of wedlock and we got
01:26married when he was about
01:27two years old and then at the age of 28 my husband was um sadly shot and killed um in
01:35a in in an argument
01:37that ensued where he stood in the gap with one of his friends and at 28 i was a single
01:42mom
01:42um and you can never prepare for that it's not something that you expect to happen but you have
01:48to find your inner strength and and obviously god's hand of provision and guidance is what pulls you
01:54through so that's that's the circumstances of me being a single mom and like we're learning today
02:01a family of kipu with the circumstances are different and each and every mom has a a story to
02:08tell and it's a different story circumstances uh and all uh it is 15 minutes past 11 and we've got
02:14a very special single mom that's just joined us uh umamu tembi mieni uh she's joining us uh all the
02:22way from very far uh what a sacrifice mama and we are so grateful for your presence with us today
02:28as we navigate uh and and and converse about uh being a single mother and the different types of
02:37single mothers and the fact that god sees you in your story uh and it might not seem uh when
02:44you're
02:44going through uh you know the worst that god sees you but he sees you today uh we are here
02:50to remind
02:51you that you are seen and you are loved by god mama tembi how are you this beautiful morning this
02:58side
02:59uh i don't know about your side early hours it is early hours of the morning and good morning
03:10amen amen thank you thank you so so much yes we are so grateful to have you on board barbara's
03:17here i'm
03:18here and we're just journeying uh and unpacking being a single mother because there are different
03:24types of single mothers uh as we have said before and that each and every story is important to god
03:32thank you tc morning mama tembi i know it's really early your side thank you so much for joining us
03:39and
03:39for making time so good morning morning i'm so happy and excited it's it's a it's an interesting
03:46topic for me so any time of the day in the evening you wake me up and i would always
03:54be there to talk
03:55about single motherhood and how god works in our lives in our children i mean mama tembi is also to
04:04our listeners the co-founder of single moms raising sons so without a doubt mama tembi will have a very
04:10powerful story for us that um she is excited and willing to share um mama tembi just leading into
04:16this if i can ask you a question i think we've spoken about this there's many misconceptions about
04:21how mothers become single mothers can you maybe share with us the different types of single
04:27motherhood that people may not always recognize
04:32i first want to say that people do not choose to be single mothers
04:38there are circumstances that would will find yourself being a single mother
04:45for example people do not blend for their husbands to pass on
04:49so it leaves you as a widow and have to raise the children
04:53there are people who divorce in their marriages there are people who are getting children out of
05:02wedlock are people who are grandparents and raising their great-grandchildren so all these circumstances
05:09and situations force end up leading people to be single mothers for example i mean i i always like
05:17to refer a story about hagar or hargar doesn't matter how i i pronounce her name but this was an
05:25innocent
05:25woman young woman who was working for a very rich family in israel and she never planned to be a
05:34single
05:35mother it ended up her life ended up being a single mother but in the in the in her story
05:42you begin to see
05:44how god sees how god loves how god knows the stories so i'm just encouraging every single mother out there
05:54to know that whatever situation other other women were raped and they raised their children
06:00so i'm just saying to every single mother out there you have a god
06:07that we we give him he's got a lot of attributes
06:11but when we as single mothers go to him we go to him as our father
06:17and he fathers us as single mothers and fathers
06:20our children
06:23so those are the different types of uh single mothers i wanted to share with you
06:29in the bible has got more than 40 single mothers
06:34with 40 different situations and conditions
06:37but they are in the bible and they are telling different stories about how these women became
06:43single mothers and the most beautiful thing about their stories is seeing the hand of god in their lives
06:50amen and they are in the bible for us to learn and know and understand that god is the father
06:57of the fatherless
06:59i mean indeed mama that's so true what you say you know we we we god's not surprised by our
07:06circumstances we know that the word says that he knows the end from the beginning so when we find ourselves
07:12in single mothers we already our father already knew that he already prepared all the resources that we're going to
07:18need to uplift us and to empower us so um as you were saying no one no one walks into
07:24that it's something that happens but our father is ahead of us because he prepares the way
07:28and so and so and so why if we went in a little bit deeper why would it be important
07:32you know for society
07:34to to understand um the the unique journey of every single mother and that's what we're trying to do here
07:41is to just
07:41speak a little bit more about that journey why do you think it's important
07:48it is very important that we understand the journey of the single parent i think
07:54we believe we always believe that the traditional family and there should be a mother father
07:59a child a dog and a cat that's the family that we know
08:03the family of abraham sarah and isaac that's the family that's presented to us in the bible
08:09so when things differ differ from the traditional um families we tend to look at those with judgments
08:19and not even knowing that in the singlehood or singleness of the mother there is a blend of god in
08:28it
08:29so i'm challenging and i'm inviting the society to begin to look at the journeys of the single mothers
08:36um not with judgment but with passion with understanding and also knowing that these women
08:45are going through a number of trauma that is different from the general traumas that we see
08:50they are they going through trauma abandonment neglect and rejection
08:57on their for themselves and they portray those to their children who are also going through
09:02the similar but in different ways so this mother is carrying double um burden of rejection
09:10she's being rejected the child is being rejected um feel will feel rejected um i'm therefore
09:18saying to the single i mean not only the single the society at large
09:24but if you look at all these social ills in the world the trafficking the the rape the
09:32number of people in i mean young men in prisons um all these social ills that we face
09:38they all trace back to fatherlessness i would say which is an equivalent of having of being a single
09:47mother and if you can all rally together as as communities and as um different families supporting
09:57the single mother out there a lot of things can change but in my case i have
10:08looked into the challenge i mean i have looked into what why why is god saying he is the father
10:15of the
10:15fatherless i think you mentioned before that before we are god make the provision even before the child
10:22is born yes while a woman is pregnant there's already fooding up in the breast for the child
10:29when he comes out so god provides even before we are born that for me shows that this is a
10:36god who is
10:37a father this is a personal god i know we've got a number of attributes for god he's an almighty
10:42he's
10:43sovereign he's an unchanging god he's an all-knowing he's a fit he is all that definitely but when his
10:50son came to to the world and teaching and taught us how to relate to god he said our father
10:57which was
10:58confirming all along that god is the father and when he's he said that in the old and the new
11:05testament
11:06that he is the father of the fatherless both in the psalms in the book of hebrews he continued to
11:11say
11:11the father of the father when i took that now i'm directing my my talk to the single mother who's
11:16listening there i took that very serious not that i don't take all the attributes of god seriously
11:22but i took that seriously and i said when you said you are the father of the fatherless here are
11:28my sons
11:30and when i talked to god because he knows that i i just didn't pick it up from from the
11:37streets
11:37i picked it up from his own word and then i use his word to say god you are the
11:44father of the fatherless
11:46and you will be amazed on the provision that god um gives to our children when we go to him
11:53as the father because the father is broader than um i don't want to say his brother but i'm just
11:58saying
11:59the father is provides the father loves you feel the love you feel the you see the provision you see
12:05the caring all the the things that you have gone through as a single mother that you do not you
12:12had
12:12not experienced or yeah but you have a father who who who is there for you as a your father
12:20and it's also
12:21fathering your own children so i know that single mothers as as women we are so good in putting makeup
12:31and people never see behind that makeup how much we are hurting but i'm telling you god is able to
12:38take
12:39a wet cloth and wipe that makeup and look at you as you are and say daughter my daughter
12:48and you feel loved in his arms so it is so important to support single mothers
12:58then they also need to know that they are supported they are loved by their father who love their
13:04children as well sure this is very profound indeed and it's really just such a great reminder of the
13:13unfailing love of the father that he loves you as you are single mom don't condemn yourself don't
13:19convict yourself today but know that you are loved by god and step into that love allow yourself to be
13:28loved by him sure i love mama timby as you're speaking that you say that the community has a
13:34responsibility that it needs to play you know in terms of you know practically fathering um the children
13:41that do not have um fathers and i think maybe we can delve into that just a little bit later
13:47uh just
13:48after our beautiful song that's coming up uh by blanca with real love we are at 11 minutes past 26
13:55minutes past 11 and we invite you family that is listening whether you're listening on social media
14:00on facebook or you're listening on the app please speak to us on 0817 29 1657 that is 0817 29
14:101657
14:11is the whatsapp line that you can reach us on right now we're going to a straight
14:16uh short break with blanca real love we'll be back soon this morning and every tuesday morning
14:24thereafter uh 11 or 2 12 uh and with me in the studio we've got barbara jafta as well as
14:32umamu
14:34that is joining us via zoom and we're having very important conversations thank you tc um so to our
14:44listeners mama timby just finished off before our break speaking about um god being our father and i
14:50had goosebumps and i was so stirred because driving in this morning to studio um i heard a reminder that
14:57god's not a grandfather he's our father and that's that's a completely different relationship
15:03it is it's not far removed it's so direct because but the father also disciplines and he also chastises
15:10but he also knows exactly what we need so for our single moms that that feel marginalized and they
15:17don't feel like they fit in and mama timby was speaking about the importance of understanding
15:21circumstances i often think of the analogy in my own life um he's my father so i crawl onto his
15:28lap
15:28i visually see myself crawling onto his lap as a father and that's the role that he plays for us
15:35and if you think about yourself as a single mom in a playground with many other moms who have partners
15:41and you feel that you just don't fit in you don't not wearing the right clothes you don't have a
15:45packed
15:45lunchbox who knows you in that playground if they came to collect you your father he will see you and
15:52out of a crowd he will call you and if ever you're in doubt about your identity or your standing
15:58know that
15:59your father sees you um it says in um in psalm 139 um verse one he says oh lord you
16:09have searched me
16:10and you know me so when if you if you picture your father in a playground he searches for his
16:16goals
16:17and he searches you out in the crowd you don't have to you don't have to reach he'll know you
16:22even if
16:22he can't see you he'll know your voice so please be comforted by that and and i'm going to open
16:28up to
16:29mama timby um just in terms of of of him being your father can you share with our listeners um
16:36maybe a
16:37few instances in your life or circumstances where you really knew this is my father who comes and
16:45sweeps me up and he picks me up as a single mom wow there's so many of these instances um
16:56just maybe one example when i came here i came with my son was 12 years old
17:03in one of my prayers when i came in was lord i just want to connect with somebody who can
17:14um not father but can play a role a model a father model with a role appear role model
17:20to my son um since we have been i mean coming far from um the usual i mean i could
17:27just get friends
17:28where i'm in south africa and say hey can you take my son to this place but we were just
17:34coming to
17:35a new state that i've never been before so i i was just praying about that
17:42the following day when i went to school because i came here to study when i went to class
17:47this guy just looked at me and said hey i saw you walking with a young man a young is
17:52that your child
17:53i'm like yeah that's my son he goes to that school brother and he said can i just hang around
17:58with him
17:59and i just looked up and i said you were listening god when i was praying i mean you actually
18:06came
18:07through so this child i mean this guy i mean was my classmate he started taking my child to different
18:13places um to go fishing to go wow he he mentored him he he in other words god just answered
18:22my prayer
18:23in a way that i just could not believe i'm like oh my goodness even today that guy still we're
18:30no
18:30longer in the same state with my son but that guy still interact with him he would take him to
18:35church
18:36he would sit down and talk to him about issues that this child is not i mean my son is
18:42not happy
18:48he's not able to talk to him wow powerful yeah i was not able to talk to him and mama
18:54tembi you
18:54didn't have to find him he found you i think that's very important you know he he stepped forward and
19:00that's how god opens doors we don't have to struggle through them he opens the door and the blessing walks
19:06through that's true yeah definitely i love that part about uh the fact that i think men around us in
19:18our communities need to know and understand that they do have a responsibility so when you do see
19:25a single mother uh out there whether you're an uncle whether you're a friend or like you're saying mama
19:32tembi in your case it was a schoolmate uh you know that you do have a responsibility and may god
19:38really raise up men in our society uh that will see the gap and want to fill that gap you
19:46know
19:49right yeah so so we are still moving forward to the family that's listening to us uh on our social
19:56media digital platforms yes we are live on facebook and we are on the mother's corner we're speaking
20:03about the various uh types of single mothers and also moving on into um you know the fact that god
20:10sees you as a single mother that god sees you as a single mother um barbara i don't know if
20:17you have
20:17any more questions for all mama tembi yes maybe there's there's one i'd like to ask mama tembi and i
20:24think
20:24it's been touched on um just earlier but if for our listeners mama tembi what what can we tell them
20:30how would you know that god knows what can we tell them to empower them that god knows your story
20:36because these times that we can feel god is silent and they may tune in now today and understand what
20:43we're speaking about be inspired but when we go back to our lives it can often feel as if god's
20:48silent
20:49what encouragement can we give them from a practical example in your own personal life
20:56i think everything excuse me that we are talking about takes us back to his word you're not going
21:03to know god unless you go to his word that's how he revealed himself through his word and the like
21:10i said there are many stories about single mothers in this in the bible and if you read those stories
21:16and see how god came up came out to those mothers and their children you begin to know you you
21:26are
21:27actually drawn into this loving father this loving god you it it doesn't become a like a theory for you
21:37or a sermon it becomes an intimate relationship with you and god because in most cases we go to church
21:46and
21:46we listen to sermons and we i mean that amen but we don't go back and relate to our own
21:54father we
21:54don't go back and sit in and and read the word to understand um on our own what who this
22:03god is who this
22:03father is and how can we because we we then don't know how to to pray or how to take
22:10the message to god about our
22:12children i mean i've become i've become so so social i don't know what's the right word to use but
22:21in in
22:22that i i do not like become very professional and kneel down and say oh god i just go boldly
22:30amen
22:31and approach that throne of grace with boldness hallelujah yes and remind like i said in the
22:38beginning remind him that you said in your word i mean you are the father of the fatherless
22:45this moment i am bringing my son to you because that's what i would do anyway if i mean that's
22:52what
22:52we would do if we are naughty our parents will pull us and say take us to our fathers to
22:58talk to us
22:58blah blah so i'll do the same thing and say this is what is going on it relieves me that
23:05i have taken
23:05the mirror to god i am you know i can focus on other things i've already mentioned i've taken this
23:12and i
23:12know that he listens to our prayers and the way god responds it is amazing so i'm encouraging you
23:19single mother who's listening that you you have a father that is your father and is also the father to
23:25your children so do not be shy to just go in and say daddy this is what is happening yes
23:34because the
23:35moment you are offload that to him it gives you a peace of mind that surpasses any understanding
23:47but you are able to then go ahead and do other things because you have given to somebody who's not
23:53like a therapist or a counselor or a tembi or but you've given this burden to god who is able
23:59to
24:00handle the burden for you so i'm not talking against counselors and therapists but i'm just saying
24:06the feeling is different we do need to go to therapy we do need to go to counselors the feeling
24:14is
24:14different when you have just got in to his throne and afloat that and then go on with whatever that
24:22you're
24:22doing i mean i'm i'm i'm encouraging single mothers to do that but i'm also encouraging society yeah i
24:30think we for my my in my case when i had my first son i had my sisters and my
24:36mom that actually rallied
24:38around me and supported me so my my son ended up knowing from different people when he was trying to
24:47talk or walk my sisters were there to help me you know and then there were families communities around
24:54as well we don't have that anymore we are so individual individualistic and i want to challenge
25:00the community to go back to that and say let us support each other in raising our children um i
25:07know
25:07that sometimes it may not be easy because we come with different beliefs with different um anything that
25:15can influence our children differently hence your ground as a parent as a mother is the solid ground
25:25in christ i mean it is not gonna be easy then that your child gets influenced by other things outside
25:30but i'm just saying on social things i mean i grew up in a place where i did not know
25:37whether i didn't
25:38feel or know that we were poor but if we had a bread slice of bread i would go to
25:44um the neighbor to get
25:46butter on the bread and have my or if we've got bread and butter i'll go to the other neighbor
25:51to get
25:51peanut butter on my bread so it was community supporting each other i i just want to challenge
25:58the communities to say let's work together i know there are a lot of other things now that we have
26:04to be
26:04mindful of there's a lot of child trafficking and then there's just a lot of abuse that is out there
26:11but i'm just saying our communities still
26:20we need to come all up and support um our our children or support us as single mothers
26:27so these networks um for example in in the single mom raising sons program we have a program called
26:37um heart healing hearts where we get the groups of single mothers getting together and talk about
26:44issues that affect them and it helps every time you talk about your own issue and sharing with other
26:52people you realize that you're not alone or maybe your your situation is even better than the
26:57person next to you and it helps like working together and healing together and praying together
27:05and praying for each other that is yeah so we do need to get support
27:13single moms yeah yeah no i was just saying mama timby that single moms also need a support
27:21uh from our society uh and i think this is an alert to everyone out there that may know a
27:28single mom
27:28uh within maybe even in their community or as a neighbor or even as a cousin you know a sister
27:36that is a
27:36single mom just to be mindful that you know there's a lot that's happening uh don't just take it for
27:42granted that oh eyes manbani you know they're raising their child and they're strong you know a woman uh but
27:49also realize that uh you are also there to lend a hand uh where you can uh and also for
27:57single moms
27:58you know so that there can be that shift where from survival mode to trusting god and i think more
28:05than anything that is where we are today and saying that uh you are not on your own you have
28:10god yes people
28:12are around and god will use people uh for your benefit a single mom but you trust god that's the
28:20person that you trust uh more than anyone and he will you are co-parenting with him he is raising
28:28these
28:28kids uh alongside you i'm a product um of uh a single mom so i know i've seen how god
28:35can you can
28:36raise exactly powerful um amen amen to that yeah i also think that it's important to separate your
28:47identity from your circumstances you know jeremiah 29 11 says um for i know the plans i have for you
28:56plans to prosper and not to harm plans to give you a hope in the future the lord's word cannot
29:01return
29:02void it cannot if it's said and it's promised it will come through and so if your identity is lost
29:08in a wall system pull out of it and know that you're a daughter and a son of christ and
29:14he has promised
29:15this if he says it it will be so and in raising your son as as as tc's just said
29:21you are co-parenting
29:22with the lord and he's already paved the way so be encouraged by that um and and and something i
29:28encourage people to do is if you're not sure about where to start in the word find even just three
29:34or
29:34four verses put it up on a little sticky i do that i put it in the kitchen i put
29:38it in the study
29:39and let that enter your your spirit and as you start to understand the word you start to believe it
29:47and
29:47then you start to live it and the lord comes through every time indeed i'm glad you are going
29:54back to quoting his word you you begin to know your identity the more you go to to god's word
30:01you
30:02begin to know your identity outside the circumstances and you are the one who are going to be start
30:08praising god giving because that's how hager did he didn't know who this god is he he started saying
30:15this is the god who sees i i i have my own attributes of god based on the things that
30:22he does to me and
30:24to my children so when you continue to read his word it transforms your life it changes you you you
30:34you
30:34you no longer see yourself as a single mom but you see yourself as a child of god and you
30:40are
30:41you know you get so crazy that you want to tell other people remember the woman at the well when
30:48he
30:48yeah when she met with christ she just got so crazy that she wanted everybody else to know
30:55so the blood i think this platform today is is doing the same thing to say hey we know this
31:03god who can
31:03mother i mean who can father you and your children so we are opening up to the world to say
31:10come see come listen about the god who cares
31:16yeah he is indeed the god who cares the god who loves you the god who sees you uh single
31:24mom out
31:25there and you are not alone and you are enough you are enough uh mama tim i think in closing
31:34just to pray for us to close and to wrap up everything uh that we've spoken about today and
31:41to seal it with the blood of jesus amen before i pray i just want to remind our listeners that
31:54they should be encouraged to know that we serve a god who sees us it doesn't matter what circumstances
32:02you may not feel that god is listening or sees you he does god sees everything god god is everywhere
32:11and
32:12god loves we are all his children and it it makes him even you know a good father when you
32:23come through to him do not be afraid do not prepare and over prepare yourself to go to god go
32:33to god as you
32:33uh and pull your children to him he's a loving god he's a god who sees um now i would
32:43like to like you said
32:45seal this in prayer in heavenly father we thank you for your love we thank you for all that you
32:55are in
32:56our lives and in our children thank you that you have given us this opportunity to share about you and
33:06to share you with other people we have seen your faithfulness in our lives as individuals and we want
33:14to draw um you closer to us into our lives thank you for this time and i ask i ask
33:24you to bless
33:24my sisters my sisters and also empower other people through this platform grow us lord and in
33:34everything that we do make us always remember that you are the father of the fatherless we thank you
33:41we honor you we bless your name in jesus mighty name amen amen amen
33:50uh joining us from far far far far far away land
33:58we thank you so much um mama for for your time and for your sacrifice and for this beautiful initiative
34:06that you have started um a single moms raising sons for all that you pour into that initiative all that
34:17you pour into your people your society and for and for not forgetting us in south africa you know uh
34:25thank you
34:26thank you so so much uh please share uh where if one is interested they can join uh single moms
34:34raising
34:34sons what can they do if they are interested i will have a website single moms raising sons
34:43dot org and they can just i mean sorry dot com single mom raising sons dot com and they can
34:53just contact um
34:54um i think i have a an in a telephone number that they can contact in in south africa um
35:07it's okay if you don't have it now uh what we'll do we'll just share it on the link where
35:14we are live
35:14on facebook that let's share it on the link we'll share it on the link i don't have it with
35:18me right now
35:19but there is a whatsapp number that they can connect with yes and if they've got kids we also run
35:27camps
35:29um in johannisbeck devon i think we're going to be studying in cape town in two months time so
35:36we'll be able to announce that amen um for for young men to come in and learn and see their
35:44identity
35:44in christ help them to to grow knowing who god is and know that they have a father who will
35:53never
35:53live no forsake them amen hallelujah hallelujah thank you thank you so so much um we look forward
36:01to more conversations as such as this uh you know in the mother's corner where we can engage uh and
36:09empower and impact the society and change the lives of single mothers out there through the word of god
36:18may god bless you and extend your territory thank you thank you have a great day ahead
36:26thank you mama time to you be blessed amen amen amen family of cape pooper
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