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  • 3 hours ago
George isn't about to let a historic shipwreck stand between him and an upgraded apartment. After the tenant association gives Mr. Eldridge the edge because of his harrowing survival story, George argues that one catastrophic event can't possibly compete with three decades of continuous humiliation.

To prove his point, George presents the board with highlights from his spectacularly unfortunate life—from shrinkage and the marble rye fiasco to being handcuffed to a bed and the tragic fate of Susan. In George's mind, surviving one disaster is impressive, but living as George Costanza every single day should count for something.

Seinfeld is streaming now on Netflix.

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00:00where i remained for she certainly seemed interested in me though she was attractive
00:04she was also in fact a nazi the water i had been swimming in was very cold
00:13and when i dropped the towel there had been significant shrinkage
00:18my parents were looking at me so there i was
00:23in the marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole
00:27in closing these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment
00:32they're simply horrifyingly the story of my life as a short stocky slow-witted bald man thank you
00:43oh also my fiancee died from licking toxic envelopes that i picked out thanks again
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